LI  E>  RARY 

OF   THE. 

UNIVERSITY 

Of    ILLINOIS 


8  23 

W25t 

1889 


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TEN 


THOUSAND    AYEAR 


BY 


SAMUEL   WARREN,  F.R.S. 


Vol.  I. 


BOSTON: 

LITTLE,  BROWN.  AND   COMPANY. 

1889. 


eantfaersitg  5|«gg: 
John  Wilson  and  Son,  Cambridge. 


/ 


dTo  3£mtlo, 


A     LITTLE     BLUE-EYED     LAUGHING     IMAGE    OF     PURITY 
AND      HAPPINESS, 

THESE    VOLUMES   ARE  INSCRIBED 

AS    A     SLIGHT     MEMORIAL    OF     A     FATHER'S     AFFECTION 
FOR    AN     ONLY     DAUGHTER. 


October,   1841. 

- 


PUBLISHERS'     PREFACE 


The  fact  that  a  well-printed  edition  of  this  notable 
story  has  not  been  in  print  either  in  England  or 
America  since  its  original  publication  in  1841  is  a 
sufficient  reason  for  the  present  edition. 

It  includes  the  valuable  notes  in  which  the  author 
elucidated  the  "  many  legal  topics  contained  in  the 
work,  enabling  the  non-professional  reader  to  under- 
stand more  easily  the  somewhat  complex  and  elabo- 
rate plot  of  the  story." 

Of  the  story  itself  it  is  hardly  necessary  to  speak. 
Always  deservedly  popular,  it  has  been  widely  read 
for  nearly  fifty  years  in  England  and  America,  has 
been  translated  into  French  and  German,  and  has 
only  required  to  be  presented  in  a  pleasing  form, 
with  readable  type  and  good  paper,  to  insure  it  the 
circulation  which  it  deserves. 

Boston,  1889. 


FEEFACE   TO   THE   FIRST   EDITION. 


The  Author  of  this  Work  begs  gratefully  to  ex- 
press his  conviction  that  no  small  share  of  any 
success  which  it  may  have  met  with,  is  attributable 
to  the  circumstance  of  its  having  had  the  advan- 
of  an  introduction  to  the  public  through  the 
medium  of  Blackwood? s  Magazine  —  a  distinguished 
periodical,  to  which  he  feels  it  an  honor  to  have 
been,  for  a  time,  a  contributor. 

One  word,  only,  he  ventures  to  offer,  with  ref- 
erence to  the  general  character  and  tendency  of 
"Ten"  Thousand  a- Yeab."  He  has  occasionally 
observed  it  spoken  of  as  "an  amusing  and  laugh- 
able "  story ;  but  he  cannot  help  thinking  that  no 
one  will  so  characterize  it,  who  may  take  the 
trouble  of  reading  it  throughout,  and  be  capable 
of  comprehending  its  scope  and  object.  Whatever 
may  be  its  defects  of  execution,  it  has  been  written 
in  a  grave  and  earnest  spirit ;  with  no  attempt 
whatever  to  render  it  acceptable  to  mere  novel- 
ra ;  but  with  a  steadfast  view  to  that  de- 
velopment and  illustration,  whether  humorously  or 
otherwise,  of  principles,  of  character,  and  of  con- 
duct,  which   the   author   had   proposed  to   himself 


X  PREFACE   TO   THE   FIRST   EDITION. 

from  the  first,  in  the  hope  that  he  might  secure 
the  approbation  of  persons  of  sober,  independent, 
and  experienced  judgment. 

Literature  is  not  the  author's  profession.  Hav- 
ing been  led,  by  special  circumstances  only,  to 
commence  writing  this  work,  he  found  it  impos- 
sible to  go  on,  without  sacrificing  to  it  a  large 
portion  of  the  time  usually  allotted  to  repose,  at 
some  little  cost  both  of  health  and  spirits.  This 
was,  however,  indispensable,  in  order  to  prevent 
its  interference  with  his  professional  avocations. 
It  has  been  written,  also,  under  certain  other  con- 
siderable disadvantages  —  which  may  account  for 
several  imperfections  in  it  during  its  original  ap- 
pearance. The  periodical  interval  of  leisure  which 
his  profession  allows  him,  has  enabled  the  author, 
however,  to  give  that  revision  to  the  whole,  which 
may  render  it  worthier  of  the  public  favor.  He 
is  greatly  gratified  by  the  reception  which  it  has 
already  met  with,  both  at  home  and  abroad;  and 
in  taking  a  final  and  a  reluctant  leave  of  the  pub- 
lic, ventures  to  express  a  hope,  that  this  work  may 
prove  to  be  an  addition,  however  small  and  hum- 
ble, to  the  stock  of  healthy  English  literature. 

London,  October  1341. 

For  the  beautiful  verses  entitled  "  Peace,"  (at  page  266,  Vol.I.) 
the  author  is  indebted  to  a  friend  —  (W.  S.) 


CONTENTS  TO  VOL.  I. 


CHAP.  PAGE 

I.  While  Mr.  Tittlebat  Titmouse  adorns  his  outer  man, 
tlii'  reader  gets  a  glimpse  of  his  inner  man,  such  as 
it  is.  —  A  sincere  friend  ;  a  wonderful  advertise- 
ment;  an  important  epistle. — A  snake  approaches 
an  ape  ;  which  signifies  Mr.  Gammon's  introduction 

to  Titmouse 1 

II.  Quirk,  Gammon,  and  Snap,  and  Mr.  Titmouse  ;  who 
astonishes  them  with  a  taste  of  his  quality.  —  Hucka- 
back chooses  to  call  upon  Quirk,  Gammon,  and.  Snap, 
to  stir  them  up  ;  and  what  it  led  to 47 

III.  Great  lawyers  come  on  the  scene;  a  glimpse  of  day- 

light ;  a  very  moving  letter.  —  Titmouse  and  Hucka- 
back think  it  right  to  go  to  church  ;  and  the  former 
receives  a  lesson  on  landlord-ami- tenant  law,  from 
Mrs.  Squallop 94 

IV.  A  virion  of  beauty  unseen  by  Mr.  Titmouse  ;  who  is  in 

the  midnight  of  despair  and  writes  a  letter  which 
startles  Mr.  Quirk.  —  How  Gammon  used  to  wind 
round  Quirk  ;  and  the  subtle  means  he  took  to  find 

out  what  Titmouse  was  about 137 

V.  Gammon  tackling  Tag-rag.  — Satin  Lodge,  and  its  re- 
fined inmates,  who  all  pay  their  duty  to  Titmouse  ; 
and  he  very  nearly  falls  in  love  with  Miss  Tag-rag. 
Cyanochaitanthropopoion 181 


Xll  CONTENTS   TO   VOL.    I. 

CHAP.  PAGE 

VI.  Damascus  Cream ;  Tetaragmenon  Abracadabra ;  Tit- 
mouse's levee  at  Closet  Court ;  Mr.  Tag-rag's  enter- 
tainment to  him  at  Satin  Lodge  ;  and  its  disgusting 

issue 222 

VII.  The  reader  is  now  introduced  to  quite  a  different  set  of 
people,  in  Grosvenor  Street,  and  falls  in  love  with 
Kate  Aubrey.  —  Christmas  in  the  country  ;  Yatton  ; 
Madam  Aubrey  ;    the  Reverend  Dr.  Tatham  ;    and 

old  Blind  Bess 252 

VIII.  Two  strange  creatures  are  seen  at  Yatton  by  Mr. 
Aubrey  and  his  sister ;  and  a  hand-grenade  is 
thrown,  unseen,  at  the  feet  of  the  latter.  —  Country 
life  ;  Yatton  ;  Fotheringham  ;  the  two  beauties  ; 
and  an  angel  beset  by  an  imp 297 

IX.  The  explosion  of  the  hand-grenade  ;  shattered  hopes 
and  happiness.  —  A  winter  evening's  gossip  at  the 
Aubrey    Arms,    among    Yatton  villagers,    and    its 

grievous  interruption 332 

X.  Gammon  versus  Tag-rag ;  and  Snap  cum  Titmouse, 
introducing  him  to  life  in  London  —  of  one  sort.  — 
The  feast  of  reason  and  the  flow  of  soul  at  Alibi 
House;  Mr.  Quirk's  banquet  to  Titmouse,  who  is 
overcome  by  it.  —  Titmouse  seems  to  hesitate  be- 
tween Miss  Quirk  and  Kate  Aubrey 372 

XI.    Suffering;  dignity;  tenderness;  resignation      .     .     .     415 
XII.    How  the  great  flaw  was  discovered  in  Mr.  Aubrey's 
title  ;  but  a  terrible  hitch  occurs  in  the  proceedings 

of  his  opponents 431 

XIII.  Madam  Aubrey's  death  and  burial ;  Gammon  smitten 
with  the  sight  of  Kate  Aubrey's  beauty  ;  and  a  great 
battle  takes  place  at -the  York  assizes  for  Yatton      .     454 

Notes 507 


TEN  THOUSAND    A-YEAR 


CHAPTER   I. 

About  ten  o'clock  one  Sunday  morning,  in  the  month  of 
July  IS — t  the  dazzling  sunbeams,  which  had  for  several 
hours  irradiated  a  little  dismal  back  attic  in  one  of  the 
closest  courts  adjoining  Oxford  Street,  in  London,  and 
stimulated  with  their  intensity  the  closed  eyelids  of  a 
young  man  —  one  Tittlebat  Titmouse  —  lying  in  bed,  at 
length  awoke  him.  He  rubbed  his  eyes  for  some  time, 
to  relieve  himself  from  the  irritation  occasioned  by  the 
sudden  glare  they  encountered  ;  and  yawned  and  stretched 
his  limbs  with  a  heavy  sense  of  weariness,  as  though  his 
sleep  had  not  refreshed  him.  He  presently  cast  his  eyes 
towards  the  heap  of  clothes  lying  huddled  together  on  the 
backless  chair  by  the  bedside,  where  he  had  hastily  flung 
them  about  an  hour  after  midnight;  at  which  time  he 
had  returned  from  a  great  draper's  shop  in  Oxford  Street, 
where  he  served  as  a  shopman,  and  where  he  had  nearly 
dropped  asleep,  after  a  long  day's  work,  in  the  act  of 
putting  up  the  shutters.  He  could  hardly  keep  his  eyes 
open  while  he  undressed,  short  as  was  the  time  required 
to  do  so ;  and  on  dropping  exhausted  into  bed,  there  he 
had  continued,  in  deep  unbroken  slumber,  till  the  moment 
of  his  being  presented  to  the  reader.  —  He  lay  for  several 
minutes,  stretching,  yawning,  and  sighing,  occasionally 
casting  an   irresolute  glance  towards  the  tiny  fireplace, 

VOL.   i  —  1 


2  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAE. 

where  lay  a  modicum  of  wood  and  coal,  with  a  tinder-box 
and  a  match  or  two  placed  upon  the  hob,  so  that  he  could 
easily  light  his  fire  for  the  purposes  of  shaving,  and  break- 
fasting. He  stepped  at  length  lazily  out  of  bed,  and  when 
he  felt  his  feet,  again  yawned  and  stretched  himself. 
Then  he  lit  his  fire,  placed  his  bit  of  a  kettle  on  the  top 
of  it,  and  returned  to  bed,  where  he  lay  with  his  eye  fixed 
on  the  fire,  watching  the  crackling  blaze  insinuate  itself 
through  the  wood  and  coal.  Once,  however,  it  began  to 
fail,  so  he  had  to  get  up  and  assist  it,  by  blowing,  and  bits 
of  paper ;  and  it  seemed  in  so  precarious  a  state  that  he 
determined  not  again  to  lie  down,  but  sit  on  the  bedside  : 
as  he  did,  with  his  arms  folded,  ready  to  resume  opera- 
tions if  necessary.  In  this  posture  he  remained  for  some 
time,  watching  his  little  fire,  and  listlessly  listening  to  the 
discordant  jangling  of  innumerable  church-bells,  clamor- 
ously calling  the  citizens  to  their  devotions.  The  current 
of  thoughts  passing  through  his  mind,  was  something  like 
the  following  :  — 

"  Heigho  !  —  Lud,  Lud  !  —  Dull  as  ditch  water  !  —  This 
is  my  only  holiday,  yet  I  don't  seem  to  enjoy  it !  —  for  I 
feel  knocked  up  with  my  week's  work  !  (A  yawn.)  What 
a  life  mine  is,  to  be  sure  !  Here  am  I,  in  my  eight-and- 
twentieth  year,  and  for  four  long  years  have  been  one  of 
the  shopmen  at  Tag-rag  &  Co.'s,  slaving  from  half-past 
seven  o'clock  in  the  morning  till  nine  at  night,  and  all  for 
a  salary  of  thirty-five  pounds  a-year,  and  my  board  !  And 
Mr.  Tag-rag  —  eugh  !  what  a  beast !  —  is  always  telling 
me  how  high  he  's  raised  my  salary ! !  Thirty-five  pounds 
a-year  is  all  I  have  for  lodging,  and  turning  out  like  a 
gentleman  !  'Pon  my  soul !  it  can't  last ;  for  sometimes 
I  feel  getting  desperate  —  such  strange  thoughts  come 
into  my  mind  !  —  Seven  shillings  a-week  do  I  pay  for  this 
cursed  hole  —  (he  uttered  these  words  with  a  bitter  em- 
phasis, accompanied  by  a  disgustful  look  round  the  little 


TEX    THOUSAND    A- YEAR.  3 

room)  —  that  one  couldn't  swing  B  eat  in  without  touch- 
ing the  four  sides  !  —  Last  winter  three  of  our  gents  (i.  e. 
his  fellow-shopmen)  came  to  tea  with  me  one  Sunday 
night ;  and  hitter  cold  as  it  was,  we  four  made  this  cussed 
dog-hole  so  hot,  we  wore  obliged  to  open  the  window!  — 
And  as  for  accommodation —  I  recollect  I  had  to  borrow 
two  nasty  chairs  from  the  people  below,  who  on  the  next 
Sunday  borrowed  my  only  decanter,  in  return,  and,  hang 
them,  cracked  it !  —  Curse  me,  say  I,  if  this  life  is  worth 
having]  It's  all  the  very  vanity  of  vanities  —  as  it's 
said  somewhere  in  the  Bible  —  and  no  mistake  !  Fag, 
all  one's  days,  and  —  what  for  1  Thirty-five 
pounds  a-year,  and  i  no  advance ! "  (Here  occurred  a 
pause  and  revery,  from  which  he  was  roused  by  the 
clangor  of  the  church-hells.)  Bah,  bells  !  ring  away  till 
you  're  all  cracked  !  —  Now  do  you  think  I'm  going  to  be 
mewed  up  in  church  on  this  the  only  day  out  of  the  seven 
I've  got  to  sweeten  myself  in,  and  sniff  fresh  air?  A 
precious  joke  that  would  be  !  (A  yawn.)  Whew  !  —  after 
all.  I'd  almost  as  lieve  sit  here;  for  what 's  the  use  of 
my  going  out  1  Everybody  I  see  out  is  happy,  excepting 
me,  and  the  poor  chaps  that  are  like  me !  —  Everybody 
laughs  when  they  see  me,  and  know  that  I  'm  only  a 
tallow-faced  counter-jumper  —  I  know  that 's  the  odious 
name  we  gents  go  by  !  —  for  whom  it 's  no  use  to  go  out 
^for  one  day  in  seven  can't  give  one  a  bloom  !  Oh, 
Lord  !  what 's  the  use  of  being  good-looking,  as  some 
chaps  say  I  am?"  —  Here  he  instinctively  passed  his  left 
band  through  a  profusion  of  sandy-colored  hair,  and  cast 
an  eye  towards  the  bit  of  fractured  looking-glass  which 
hung  against  the  wall,  and  had,  by  faithfully  representing 
to  him  a  by  no  means  ugly  set  of  features  (despite  the 
d  hue  of  his  hair)  whenever  he  chose  to  appeal  to  it, 
afforded  him  more  enjoyment  than  any  other  object  in 
the  world,  for  years.      "Ah,  by  Jove  !  many  and  many 's 


4  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

the  fine  gal  I  've  done  my  best  to  attract  the  notice  of, 
while  I  was  serving  her  in  the  shop  —  that  is,  when  I've 
seen  her  get  out  of  a  carriage  !  There  has  been  luck  to 
many  a  chap  like  me,  in  the  same  line  of  speculation  : 
look  at  Tom  Tarnish  —  how  did  he  get  Miss  Twang,  the 
rich  pianoforte-maker's  daughter  1  —  and  noiv  he 's  cut  the 
shop,  and  lives  at  Hackney,  like  a  regular  gentleman  ! 
Ah  !  that  was  a  stroke  !  But  somehow  it  has  n't  answered 
with  me  yet ;  the  gals  don't  take  !  How  I  have  set  my 
eyes  to  be  sure,  and  ogled  them  !  —  All  of  them  don't 
seem  to  dislike  the  thing  —  and  sometimes  they  '11  smile, 
in  a  sort  of  way  that  says  I  'm  safe  —  but  it 's  been  no 
use  yet,  not  a  bit  of  it !  —  My  eyes  !  catch  me,  by  the 
way,  ever  nodding  again  to  a  lady  on  the  Sunday,  that 
had  smiled  when  I  stared  at  her  while  serving  her  in  the 
shop  —  after  what  happened  to  me  a  month  or  two  ago 
in  the  Park  !  Did  n't  I  feel  like  damaged  goods,  just 
then  1  But  it 's  no  matter,  women  are  so  different  at  dif- 
ferent times  !  —  Very  likely  I  mismanaged  the  thing. 
By  the  way,  what  a  precious  puppy  of  a  chap  the  fellow 
was  that  came  up  to  her  at  the  time  she  stepped  out  of 
her  carriage  to  walk  a  bit !  As  for  good  looks  —  cut  me 
to  ribbons  (another  glance  at  the  glass)  no  ;  T  a'n't  afraid 
there,  neither  —  but  —  heigho  !  —  I  suppose  he  was,  as 
they  say,  born  with  a  golden  spoon  in  his  mouth,  and  had 
never,  so  many  a  thousand  a-year,  to  make  up  to  him  for 
never  so  few  brains  !  He  was  uncommon  well-dressed, 
though,  I  must  own.  What  trousers  !  —  they  stuck  so 
natural  to  him,  he  might  have  been  born  in  them.  And 
his  waistcoat,  and  satin  stock  —  what  an  air  !  And  yet, 
his  figure  was  nothing  very  out  of  the  wray  1  His  gloves, 
as  white  as  snow  ;  I  've  no  doubt  he  wears  a  pair  of  them 
a-day  —  my  stars!  that's  three  and-sixpence  a-day;  for 
don't  I  know  what  they  cost  ?  —  Whew  !  if  I  had  but  the 
cash  to  carry  on  that  sort  of  thing  !  —  And  when  he  'd 


TEX    THOUSAND    A-YEAB.  5 

seen  her  into  her  carriage  —  the  horse  he  got  on  !  —  and 
what  a  tip-top  groom  —  that  chap's  wages,  I  '11  answer  for 
it,  were  equal  to  my  salary  !  (Here  was  another  pause.) 
Now,  jusr  for  the  fun  of  the  thing,  only  suppose  luck  was 
to  befall  m<  '.  Say  that  somebody  was  to  leave  me  lots 
of  cash  —  many  thousands  a-year,  or  something  in  that 
line  !  My  stars  !  would  n't  1  go  it  witli  the  best  of  them  ! 
(Another  long  pause.)  Gad,  I  really  should  hardly  know 
how  to  begin  to  spend  it  !  —  I  think,  by  the  way,  I  'd  buy 
a  title  to  set  off  with  —  for  what  won't  money  buy  ]  The 
thing  's  often  done ;  there  was  a  great  pawn-broker  in  the 
city,  the  other  day,  made  a  baronet  of,  all  for  his  money 

—  and  why  should  n't  I  )  "  He  grew  a  little  heated  with 
the  progress  of  his  reflections,  clasping  his  hands  with  in- 
voluntary energy,  as  he  stretched  them  out  to  their  fullest 
extent,  t<>  give  effect  to  a  very  hearty  yawn.  "  Lord,  only 
think  how  it  would  sound  !  — 

"SIR  TITTLEBAT  TITMOUSE,  BARONET  ;  "   OR,  "  LORD  TITMOUSE  !! " 

"  The  very  first  place  I  'd  go  to,  after  I  'd  got  my  title, 
and  was  rigged  out  in  Tight-fit's  tip-top,  should  be  —  our 
cursed  shop  !  to  buy  a  dozen  or  two  pair  of  white  kid. 
Ah,  ha  !  What  a  flutter  there  would  be  among  the  poor 
pale  devils  as  were  standing,  just  as  ever,  behind  the 
counters,  at  Tag-rag  and  Co.'s  when  my  carriage  drew  up, 
and  I  stepped,  a  tip-top  swell,  into  the  shop.  Tag-rag 
would  come  and  attend  to  me  himself!     ]STo,  he  would  n't 

—  pride  would  n't  let  him.  I  don't  know,  though  :  what 
would  n't  he  do  to  turn  a  penny,  and  make  two  and  nine- 
pence  into  three  and  a  penny  ]  I  should  n't  quite  come 
Captain  Stiff  over  him,  I  think,  just  at  first ;  but  I  should 
treat  him  with  a  kind  of  an  air,  too,  as  if — hem  !  Ton 
my  life  !  how  delightful  !  (A  sigh  and  a  pause.)  Yes, 
I  Bhould  often  come  to  the  shop.  Gad,  it  would  be  half 
the  fun  of  my  fortune  !     How  they  would  envy  me,  to  be 


6  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

sure  !  How  one  should  enjoy  it !  I  would  n't  think  of 
marrying  till  —  and  yet  I  won't  say  either ;  if  I  got 
among  some  of  them  out-and-outers  —  those  first-rate 
articles  —  that  lady,  for  instance,  the  other  day  in  the 
Park  —  I  should  like  to  see  her  cut  me  as  she  did,  with 
ten  thousand  a-year  in  my  pocket !  Why,  she  'd  be  run- 
ning after  me  !  —  or  there  's  no  truth  in  novels,  which 
I  'in  sure  there  's  often  a  great  deal  in.  Oh,  of  course, 
I  might  marry  whom  I  pleased  !  Who  could  n't  be  got 
with  ten  thousand  a-year?  (Another  pause.)  I  think  I 
should  go  abroad  to  Eussia  directly  ;  for  they  tell  me 
there  's  a  man  lives  there  who  could  dye  this  cussed  hair 
of  mine  any  color  I  liked  —  and  —  egad  !  I  'd  come  home 
as  black  as  a  crow,  and  hold  up  my  head  as  high  as  any 
of  them  !     While  I  was  about  it,  I  'd  have  a  touch  at  my 

eyebrows  " Crash  here  went  all  his  castle-building, 

at  the  sound  of  his  tea-kettle,  hissing,  whizzing,  sputter- 
ing, in  the  agonies  of  boiling  over ;  as  if  the  intolerable 
heat  of  the  fire  had  driven  desperate  the  poor  creature 
placed  upon  it,  which  instinctively  tried  thus  to  extin- 
guish the  cause  of  its  anguish.  Having  taken  it  off,  and 
placed  it  upon  the  hob,  and  put  on  the  fire  a  tiny  frag- 
ment of  fresh  coal,  he  began  to  make  preparations  for 
shaving,  by  pouring  some  of  the  hot  water  into  an  old 
tea-cup,  which  was  presently  to  serve  for  the  purposes  of 
breakfast.  Then  he  spread  out  a  bit  of  crumpled  whity- 
brown  paper,  in  which  had  been  folded  up  a  couple  of 
cigars,  bought  over-night  for  the  Sunday's  special  enjoy- 
ment —  and  as  to  which,  if  he  supposed  they  had  come 
from  any  place  beyond  the  four  seas,  I  imagine  him  to 
have  been  slightly  mistaken.  He  placed  this  bit  of  paper 
on  the  little  mantel-piece  ;  drew  his  solitary  well-worn 
razor  several  times  across  the  palm  of  his  left  hand  ; 
dipped  his  brush,  worn,  within  half  an  inch,  to  the  stump, 
into  the  hot  water ;  presently  passed  it  over  so  much  of 


TIN    CH0UBAW3   A-YEAli.  7 

his  face  as  ho  intended  to  shave  ;  then  rubbed  on  the 
damp  surface  a  bit  o<i  yellow  soap  —  and  in  less  than  live 
minutes  Mr.  Titmouse  was  a  shaved  man.  But  mark  — 
d<ai't  suppose  that  he  had  performed  an  extensive  opera- 
tion. ( >ne  would  have  thought  him  anxious  to  get  rid  of 
as  much  as  possible  oi  his  abominable  sandy-colored  hair. 
Quite  the  contrary  !     Every  hair  of  his  spreading  whiskers 

-red  from  the  touch  of  steel ;  and  a  bushy  crop  of 
hair  stretched  underneath  his  chin,  coming  curled  out  on 
each  side  of  it,  above  his  stock,  like  two  little  horns  or 
An  imperial  —  i  e.  a  dirt-colored  tuft  of  hair, 
permitted  to  grow  perpendicularly  down  the  under-lip  of 
puppies  —  and  a  pair  of  promising  mustaches,  poor  Mr. 
Titmouse  had  been  compelled  to  sacrifice  some  time  be- 

■  i  the  tyrannical  whimsies  of  his  vulgar  employer, 
Mr.  Tag-rag,  who  imagined  them  not  to  be  exactly  suit- 
able appendages  for  counter-jumpers.  Thus  will  it  be 
seen  that  the  space  shaved  over  on  this  occasion  was 
somewhat  circumscribed.  This  operation  over,  he  took 
out  of  his  trunk  an  old  dirty-looking  pomatum  pot.  A 
modicum  of  its  contents,  extracted  on  the  tips  of  his  two 
forefingers,  he  stroked  carefully  into  his  eyebrows  ;  then 
spreading  some  on  the  palms  of  his  hands,  he  rubbed  it 
rigorously  into  his  stubborn  hair  and  whiskers  for  some 
quarter  of  an  hour  ;  afterwards  combing  and  brushing  his 
hair  into  half  a  dozen  different  dispositions  —  so  fastidious 
in  that  matter  was  Mr.  Titmouse.  Then  he  dipped  the 
end  <>f  a  towel  into  a  little  water,  and  twisting  it  round 
his  right  forefinger,  passed  it  gently  over  his  face,  care- 
fully avoiding  his  eyebrows,  and  the  hair  at  the  top,  sides, 
and  bottom  of  his  face,  which  he  then  wiped  with  a  dry 
corner  of  the  towel  ;  and  no  farther  did  Mr.  Tittlebat 
Titmouse  think  it  necessary  to  carry  his  ablutions.      Had 

lowever,  been    aide    to    "see    himself  as  other- 
him,"  in   respect  of  those   neglected  regions   which  lay 


0  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

somewhere  behind  and  beneath  his  ears,  he  might  not, 
possibly,  have  thought  it  superfluous  to  irrigate  them 
with  a  little  soap  and  water ;  but,  after  all,  he  knew  best  j 
it  might  have  given  him  cold  :  and  besides,  his  hair  was 
very  thick  and  long  behind,  and  might  perhaps  conceal 
anything  that  was  unsightly.  Then  Mr.  Titmouse  drew 
from  underneath  the  bed  a  bottle  of  "  incomparable  black- 
ing," and  a  couple  of  brushes ;  with  great  labor  and  skill 
polishing  his  boots  up  to  a  wonderful  degree  of  brilliancy. 
Having  replaced  his  blacking  implements  under  the  bed 
and  washed  his  hands,  he  devoted  a  few  moments  to  boil- 
ing about  three  tea-spoonfuls  of  coffee,  (as  it  was  styled 
on  the  paper  from  which  he  took,  and  in  which  he  had 
bought,  it  —  whereas  it  was,  in  fact,  chiccory.)  Then  he 
drew  forth  from  his  trunk  a  calico  shirt,  with  linen  wrist- 
bands and  collar,  which  had  been  worn  only  twice  —  i.  e. 
on  the  preceding  two  Sundays  —  since  its  last  washing  — 
and  put  it  on,  taking  great  care  not  to  rumple  a  very 
showy  front,  containing  three  rows  of  frills ;  in  the  middle 
one  of  which  he  stuck  three  "studs,"  connected  together 
with  two  little  gilt  chains,  looking  exceedingly  stylish  — : 
especially  when  coupled  with  a  span-new  satin  stock, 
which  he  next  buckled  round  his  neck.  Having  put  on 
his  bright  boots,  (without,  I  am  really  sorry  to  say,  any 
stockings,)  he  carefully  insinuated  his  legs  into  a  pair  of 
white  trousers,  for  the  first  time  since  their  last  washing ; 
and  what  with  his  short  straps  and  high  braces,  they  were 
so  tight  that  you  would  have  feared  their  bursting  if  he 
should  have  sat  down  hastily.     I  am  almost  afraid  that 

1  shall  hardly  be  believed ;  but  it  is  a  fact,  that  the  next 
thing  he  did  was  to  attach  a  pair  of  spurs  to  his  boots  :  — 
but,  to  be  sure,  it  was  not  impossible  that  he  might  intend 
to  ride  during  the  day.  Then  he  put  on  a  queer  kind  of 
under-waistcoat,  which  in  fact  wras  only  a  roll-collar  of 
rather  faded  pea-green  silk,  and  designed  to  set  off  a  very 


TEN    THOUSAND   A-YEAR.  9 

fine  flowered  damson-colored  silk  waistcoat  ;  over  which 
he  drew  a  massive  mosaic-gold  chain,  (to  purchase  which 
he  had  sold  a  serviceable  silver  watch,  )  which  had  been 
carefully  wrapped  up  in  cotton  -wool;  from  which  soft 
depository,  also,  he  drew  his  RING,  (those  must  have  been 
sharp  eyes  which  could  tell,  at  a  distance,  and  in  a  hurry, 
that  it  was  not  diamond,)  which  he  placed  on  the  stumpy 
little  finger  v(  his  red  and  thick  right  hand  —  and  con- 
templated its  sparkle  with  exquisite  satisfaction.  Having 
proceeded  thus  far  with  his  toilet,  he  sat  down  to  his 
breakfast,  spreading  upon  his  lap  the  shirt  which  he  had 
taken  off,  to  preserve  his  white  trousers  from  spot  or 
stain  —  his  thoughts  alternating  between  his  late  waking- 
vision  and  his  purposes  for  the  day.  He  had  no  butter, 
having  used  the  last  on  the  preceding  morning;  so  he 
was  fain  to  put  up  with  dry  bread  —  and  very  dry  and 
teeth-trying  it  was,  poor  fellow  —  but  his  eye  lit  on  his 
ring  !  Having  swallowed  two  cups  of  his  quasi-coffee, 
(eugh  !  such  stutf!)  he  resumed  his  toilet,  by  drawing 
out  of  his  other  trunk  his  blue  surtout,  with  embossed 
silk  buttons  and  velvet  collar,  and  an  outside  pocket  in 
the  left  breast.  Having  smoothed  down  a  few  creases,  he 
put  it  on  : — then,  before  his  little  vulgar  fraction  of  a 
looking-glass,  he  stood  twitching  about  the  collar,  and 
sleeves,  and  front,  so  as  to  make  them  sit  well;  conclud- 
ing with  a  careful  elongation  of  the  wristbands  of  his 
shirt,  -how  their  whiteness  gracefully  beyond  the 

cull'  of  his  coat-sleeve  —  and  he  succeeded  in  producing  a 
sort  of  white  boundary  line  between  the  blue  of  his  coat- 
and  the  red  of  his  hand.  At  that  useful  member 
he  could  not  help  looking  with  a  sigh,  as  he  had  often 
—  for  it  was  not  a  handsome  hand.  It  was 
broad  anil  red,  and  the  fingers  were  thick  and  stumpy, 
with  •.  ep  wrinkles  at  every  joint.      His  nails 

Oat  and  shapeless;  and  he  used  to  be  continu- 


10  TEN   THOUSAND   A- YEAR. 

ally  gnawing  them  till  he  had  succeeded  in  getting  them 
down  to  the  quick  —  and  they  were  a  sight  to  set  one's 
teeth  on  edge.  Then  he  extracted  from  the  first-men- 
tioned trunk  a  white  pocket  handkerchief —  an  exemplary 
one,  that  had  gone  through  four  Sundays'  show,  (not  use, 
be  it  understood,)  and  yet  was  capable  of  exhibition 
again.  A  pair  of  sky-colored  kid  gloves  next  made  their 
appearance  :  which,  however,  showed  such  barefaced  marks 
of  former  service  as  rendered  indispensable  a  ten  minutes' 
rubbing  with  bread-crumbs.  His  Sunday  hat,  carefully 
covered  with  silver-paper,  was  next  gently  removed  from 
its  well-worn  box  —  ah,  how  lightly  and  delicately  did  he 
pass  his  smoothing  hand  round  its  glossy  surface  !  Lastly, 
he  took  down  a  thin  black  cane,  with  a  gilt  head,  and  full 
brown  tassel,  from  a  peg  behind  the  door  —  and  his  toilet 
was  complete.  Laying  down  his  cane  for  a  moment,  he 
passed  his  hands  again  through  his  hair,  arranging  it  so 
as  to  fall  nicely  on  each  side  beneath  his  hat,  which  he 
then  placed  upon  his  head,  with  an  elegant  inclination 
towards  the  left  side.  He  was  really  not  bad-looking,  in 
spite  of  his  sandy-colored  hair.  His  forehead,  to  be  sure, 
was  contracted,  and  his  eyes  were  of  a  very  light  color, 
and  a  trifle  too  protuberant ;  but  his  mouth  was  rather 
well-formed,  and  being  seldom  closed,  exhibited  very  beau- 
tiful teeth ;  and  his  nose  was  of  that  description  which 
generally  passes  for  a  Roman  nose.  His  countenance 
wore  generally  a  smile,  and  was  expressive  of — self-satis- 
faction :  and  surely  any  expression  is  better  than  none  at 
all.  As  for  there  being  the  slightest  trace  of  intellect  in 
it,  I  should  be  misleading  the  reader  if  I  were  to  say  any- 
thing of  the  sort.  In  height,  he  was  about  five  feet  and 
a  quarter  of  an  inch,  in  his  boots,  and  he  was  rather 
strongly  set,  with  a  little  tendency  to  round  shoulders : 
— but  his  limbs  were  pliant,  and  his  motions  nimble. 
Here  you  have,  then,  Mr.  Tittlebat  Titmouse  to  the 


TEH    THOUSAND   A-YKAR.  11 

life  —  certainly  no  more  than  an  average  sample  of  his 
kind  ;  luit  as  he  is  to  go  through  a  considerable  variety 

of  situation  and  circumstance,  I  thought  you  would  like 
to  have  him  as  distinctly  before  your  mind's  eye  as  it  was 
in  my  power  to  present  him. — Well  —  he  put  his  hat  on, 
as  I  have  said ;  buttoned  the  lowest  two  buttons  of  his 
surtout,  and  stuck  his  white  pocket  handkerchief  into  the 
outside  pocket  in  front,  as  already  mentioned,  anxiously 
as  to  let  a  little  appear  above  the  edge  of 
the  pocket,  with  a  sort  of  careful  carelessness  —  a  graceful 
contrast  to  the  blue;  drew  on  his  gloves;  took  his  cane 
in  his  hand  ;  drained  the  last  sad  remnant  of  infusion  of 
ehiecory  in  his  cotfee-eup  ;  and,  the  snn  shining  in  the  full 
splendor  of  a  July  noon,  and  promising  a  glorious  day, 
forth  sallied  this  poor  fellow,  an  Oxford  Street  Adonis, 
a  forth  conquering  and  to  conquer!  Petty  finery 
without,  a  pinched  and  stinted  stomach  within  ;  a  case  of 
Back  ;by,  (as  the   lawyers  would   have  it,)  the 

plaintiff  winning  in  a  canter!  Forth  sallied,  I  say,  Mr. 
Titmouse,  as  also,  doubtless,  sallied  forth  that  day  some 
live  or  six  thousand  similar  personages,  down  the  narrow, 
creaking,  close  staircase,  which  he  had  no  sooner  quitted 
than  he  heard  exclaimed  from  an  opposite  window,  "  My 
"'  that  a  swell!"  He  felt  how  true  the  obser- 
.  was,  and  that  at  that  moment  he  was  somewhat 
out  of  his  element;  so  he  hurried  on,  and  soon  reached 
that  great  broad  disheartening  street,  apostrophized  by 
the  celebrated  Opium-Eater,1  with  bitter  feeling,  as  — 
"  Oxford  Street  !  —  stony-hearted  stepmother  !  Thou 
that  listenest  to  the  sighs  of  orphans,  and  drinkest  the 
of  children  !  *'  Here,  though  his  spirits  were  not 
just  then  very  buoyant,  our  poor  little  dandy  breathed 
more  freely  than  when  he  was  passing  through  the 
wretched  crowded  court  (Closet  Court)  which  he  had  just 
quitted.      Be  passed  and  met  hundreds  who,  like  himself, 


12  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAE. 

seemed  released  for  a  precious  day's  interval  from  miser- 
able confinement  and  slavery  during  the  week ;  but  there 
were  not  very  many  of  them  who  could  vie  with  him  in 
elegance  of  appearance  —  and  that  was  indeed  a  luxurious 
reflection  !  Who  could  do  justice  to  the  air  with  which 
he  strutted  along!  He  felt  as  happy,  poor  soul,  in  his 
little  ostentation,  as  his  Corinthian  rival  in  tip-top  turn- 
out, after  twice  as  long,  and  as  anxious,  and  fifty  times 
as  expensive,  preparations  for  effective  public  display  ! 
Nay,  my  poor  swell  was  in  some  respects  greatly  the 
superior  of  such  an  one  as  I  have  alluded  to.  Mr.  Tit- 
mouse did,  to  a  great  degree,  bedizen  his  back  —  but  at 
the  expense  of  his  belly ;  whereas,  the  Corinthian  exqui- 
site, too  often  taking  advantage  of  station  and  influence, 
recklessly  both  pampers  his  luxurious  appetite  within, 
and  decorates  his  person  without,  at  the  expense  of  in- 
numerable heart-aching  creditors.  I  do  not  mean,  how- 
ever, to  claim  any  real  merit  for  Mr.  Titmouse  on  this 
score,  because  I  am  not  sure  how  he  would  act  if  he 
were  to  become  possessed  of  his  ^magnificent  rival's  means 
and  opportunities  for  the  perpetration  of  gentlemanly 
frauds  on  a  splendid  scale.  —  But  we  shall  perhaps  see 
by  and  by. 

Mr.  Titmouse  walked  along  with  leisurely  step ;  for 
haste  and  perspiration  were  vulgar,  and  he  had  the  day 
before  him.  Observe,  now,  the  careless  glance  of  self- 
satisfaction  with  which  he  occasionally  regards  his  bright 
boots,  with  their  martial  appendage,  giving  out  a  faint 
clinking  sound  as  he  heavily  treads  the  broad  flags ;  his 
spotless  trousers,  his  tight  surtout,  and  the  tip  of  white 
handkerchief  peeping  accidentally  out  in  front !  A  pleas- 
ant sight  it  was  to  behold  him  in  a  chance  rencontre  with 
some  one  genteel  enough  to  be  recognized  —  as  he  stood, 
resting  on  his  left  leg ;  his  left  arm  stuck  upon  his  hip ; 
his  right  leg  easily  bent  outwards;  his  right  hand  lightly. 


TKX    THOUSAND   A-YEA1I.  13 

holding  his  ebon  cane,  with  the  gilt  head  of  which  he 
sionally  tapped  his  teeth  ;  and  his  eves,  half  closed, 
scrutinizing  the  face  and  figure  of  each  "pretty  galn  as 
she  passed,  and  to  whom  he  bad  a  delicious  consciousness 
that  he  appeared  an  object  of  interest  !  This  was  indeed 
HAPPINESS,  as  tar  as  his  forlorn  condition  could  admit  of 
ins  enjoying  happiness.  —  He  had  no  particular  object  in 
view.  A  till'  over-night  with  two  of  his  shopmates,  had 
broken  off  a  party  which  they  had  agreed  the  Sunday  pre- 
ceding in  forming,  to  go  that  day  to  Greenwich*;  and  this 
trilling  circumstance  had  a  little  soured  his  temper,  de- 
1  as  had  been  his  spirits  before.  He  resolved,  on 
'.-ration,  to  walk  straight  on,  and  dine  somewhere  a 
little  way  out  of  town,  by  way  of  passing  the  time  till 
four  o'clock,  at  which  hour  he  intended  to  make  his 
appearance  in  Hyde  Park,  "to  see  the  swells  and  the 
fashions,"  which  was  his  favorite  Sunday  occupation. 

His  condition  was,  indeed,  forlorn  in  the  extreme.  To 
say  nothing  of  \\\s  prospects  in  life  —  what  was  his  present 
condition?  A  shopman  with  thirty-five  pounds  a-year, 
out  of  which  he  had  to  find  his  clothing,  washing,  lodging, 
and  all  other  incidental  expenses  —  the  chief  item  of  his 
board  —  such  as  it  was  —  being  found  him  by  his  em- 
ployers !  He  was  five  weeks  in  arrear  to  his  landlady  — 
a  corpulent  old  termagant,  whom  nothing  could  have  in- 
duced him  to  risk  offending,  but  his  overmastering  love 
of  tineiy  ;  for  I  grieve  to  say,  that  this  deficiency  had  been 
occasioned  by  his  purchase  of  the  ring  he  then  wore  with 
so  much  pride  I  How  he  had  contrived  to  pacify  her  — 
lie  upon  lie  he  must  have  had  recourse  to  —  I  know  not. 
He  was  indebted  also  to  his  poor  washerwoman  in  five  or 
ail  shillings  for  at  least  a  quarter's  washing;  and  owed 
five  times  that  amount  to  a  little  old  tailor,  who,  with 
acles  on  his  nose,  turned  up  to  him,  out  of  a 
little  cupboard  which  he  occupied  in  Closet  Court,  and 


14  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

which  Titmouse  had  to  pass  whenever  he  went  to  or  from 
his  lodgings,  a  lean,  sallow,  wrinkled  face,  imploring  him 
to  "  settle  his  small  account."  All  the  cash  in  hand 
which  he  had  to  meet  contingencies  between  that  day  and 
quarter-day,  which  was  six  weeks  off,  was  about  twenty- 
six  shillings,  of  which  he  had  taken  one  for  the  present 
day's  expenses ! 

Revolving  these  somewhat  disheartening  matters  in  his 
mind,  he  passed  easily  and  leisurely  along  the  whole 
length  of  Oxford  Street.  No  one  could  have  judged  from 
his  dressy  appearance,  the  constant  smirk  on  his  face,  and 
his  confident  air,  how  very  miserable  that  poor  little 
dandy  was;  but  three-fourths  of  his  misery  were  really 
occasioned  by  the  impossibility  he  felt  of  his  ever  being 
able  to  indulge  in  his  propensities  for  finery  and  display. 
Nothing  better  had  he  to  occupy  his  few  thoughts.  He  had 
had  only  a  plain  mercantile  education,  as  it  is  called,  i.  e. 
reading,  writing,  and  arithmetic ;  beyond  an  exceedingly 
moderate  acquaintance  with  these,  he  knew  nothing 
whatever ;  not  having  read  anything  except  a  few  inferior 
novels,  and  plays,  and  sporting  newspapers.  Deplorable, 
however,  as  were  his  circumstances  — 

"  Hope  springs  eternal  in  the  human  breast." 

And  probably,  in  common  with  most  who  are  miserable 
from  straitened  circumstances,  he  often  conceived,  and 
secretly  relied  upon,  the  possibility  of  some  unexpected 
and  accidental  change  for  the  better.  He  had  heard  and 
read  of  extraordinary  cases  of  luck.  "Why  might  he  not 
be  one  of  the  lucky  ]  A  rich  girl  might  fall  in  love  with 
him  — that  was,  poor  fellow  !  in  his  consideration,  one  of 
the  least  unlikely  ways  of  luck's  advent;  or  some  one 
might  leave  him  money ;  or  he  might  win  a  prize  in  the 
lottery;  —  all  these,  and  other  accidental  modes  of  get- 
ting rich,  frequently  occurred  to  the  well-regulated  mind 


TEN    THOUSAND    A-VKAK.  15 

of  Mr.   Tittlebat  Titmouse  ;  bat  ho  never  once  thought 
of  one   thing,    viz.    of  determined,    unwearying   industry, 

and  integrity  in  the  way  of  his  business, 
OOnduoing  to  sueh  a  result  ! 

Is  his  ease  a  solitary  one? — Hear  reader,  you  may  be 
unlike  poor  Tittlebat  Titmouse  in  every  respect  except 
one  ! 

On  he  walked  towards  Bays  water;  and  finding  that  it 
was  yet  early,  and  considering  that  the  farther  he  went 
from  town  the  better  prospect  there  would  be  of  his  being 
able,  with  little  sacrifice  of  appearances,  to  get  a  dinner 
consistent  with  the  means  he  carried  about  with  him,  viz. 
one  shilling,  he  pursued  his  way  a  mile  or  two  beyond 
ater ;  and,  sure  enough,  came  at  length  upon  a 
nice  little  public-house  on  the  roadside,  called  the  Square- 
\rni-.  Very  tired,  and  very  dusty,  he  first  sat  down 
in  a  small  back  room  to  rest  himself;  and  took  the  op- 
portunity to  call  for  a  clothes-brush  and  shoe-brush,  to 
relieve  his  clothes  and  boots  from  the  heavy  dust  upon 
them.  Having  thus  attended  to  his  outer  man,  as  far  as 
cireumstances  would  permit,  he  bethought  himself  of  his 
inner  man,  whose  cravings  he  presently  satisfied  with  a 
pretty  substantial  mutton-pie  and  a  pint  of  porter.  This 
fare,  together  with  a  penny  (which  he  felt  forced  to  give) 
to  the  little  girl  who  waited  on  him,  cost  him  tenpence ; 
and  then,  having  somewhat  refreshed  himself,  he  began 
to  think  of  returning  to  town.  Having  lit  one  of  his  two 
Cigars,  he  sallied  forth,  puffing  along  with  an  air  of  quiet 
enjoyment.  Dinner,  however  humble,  seldom  fails,  es- 
pecially when  accompanied  by  a  fair  draught  of  tolerable 
r,  in  some  considerable  degree  to  tranquillize  the 
animal  spirits;  and  that  soothing  effect  began  soon  to  be 
experienced  by  Mr.  Titmouse.  The  sedative  cause  he 
erron  nsidered  to  be  the  cigar  he  was  smoking; 

whereas  in  fact  the  only  tobacco  he  had  imbibed  was  from 


16  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAK. 

the  porter.  But,  however  that  might  be,  he  certainly 
returned  towards  town  in  a  calmer  and  more  cheerful 
humor  than  that  in  which  he  had  quitted  it  an  hour  or 
two  before. 

As  he  approached  Cumberland  Gate,  it  was  about  half- 
past  five ;  and  the  Park  might  be  said  to  be  at  its  acme 
of  fashion,  as  far  as  that  could  be  indicated  by  a  sluggish 
stream  of  carriages,  three  and  four  abreast  —  coroneted 
panels  in  abundance  —  noble  and  well-known  equestrians 
of  both  sexes,  in  troops  —  and  some  hundreds  of  pedes- 
trians of  the  same  description.  So  continuous  was  the 
throng  of  carriages  and  horsemen,  that  Titmouse  did  not 
find  it  the  easiest  matter  in  the  world  to  dart  across  to 
the  footpath  in  the  inner  circle.  That,  however,  he  pres- 
ently safely  accomplished,  encountering  no  more  serious 
mischance  than  the  muttered  "D — n  your  eyes !  "  of  a 
haughty  groom,  between  whom  and  his  master  Mr.  Tit- 
mouse had  presumed  to  intervene.  What  a  crowd  of 
elegant  women,  many  of  them  young  and  beautiful,  (who 
but  such,  to  be  sure,  would  have  become,  or  been  allowed 
to  become,  pedestrians  in  the  Park  T)  he  encountered,  as 
he  slowly  sauntered  on,  all  of  them  obsequiously  attended 
by  brilliant  beaux !  Lords  and  ladies  were  here  mani- 
festly as  plentiful  as  plebeians  in  Oxford  Street.  What 
an  enchanted  ground  !  —  How  delicious  this  soft  crush 
and  flutter  of  aristocracy !  Poor  Titmouse  felt  at  once 
an  intense  pleasure,  and  a  withering  consciousness  of  his 
utter  insignificance.  Many  a  sigh  of  dissatisfaction  and 
envy  escaped  him ;  yet  he  stepped  along  with  a  tolerably 
assured  air,  looking  everybody  he  met  straight  in  the 
face,  and  occasionally  twirling  about  his  little  cane  with 
an  air  which  seemed  to  say  — "  Whatever  opinion  you 
may  form  of  me,  I  have  a  very  good  opinion  of  myself." 
Indeed,  was  he  not  as  much  a  man  —  an  Englishman  — 
as  the  best  of  theml     What  was    the    real    difference 


TEN    THOUSAND    A-YEAE.  17 

between  Count  Do-'em-all  and  ^Slr.  Tittlebat  Titmouse? 
Only  that  the  Count  had  dark  hair  and  whiskers,  and 

owed  more  money  than  Mr.  Titmouse's  creditors  could 
he  persuaded  to  allow  him  to  owe  !  Would  to  Heaven  — 
thought  Titmouse  —  that  any  one  tailor  would  patronize 
him  as  half  a  dozen  had  patronized  the  Count!  If  pretty 
-  of  quality  did  not  disdain  a  walking  advertisement 
of  a  few  first-rate  tailors,  like  the  Count,  why  should  they 
turn  up  their  noses  at  an  assistant  in  an  extensive  whole- 
sale ami  retail  establishment  in  Oxford  Street,  conversant, 
with  the  qualities  and  prices  of  the  most  beautiful  articles 

of  female  attire  1     Yet  alas,  they  did  so  ! He  sighed 

heavily.  Leaning  against  the  railing  in  a  studied  at- 
titude, and  eying  wistfully  each  gay  and  fashionable 
equipage,  with  its  often  lovely,  and  sometimes  haughty 
ire,  as  it  rolled  slowly  past  him,  Air.  Titmouse 
became  more  and  more  convinced  of  a  great  practical 
truth,  viz.  that  the  only  real  distinction  between  man- 
kind was  that  effected  by  money.  Want  of  money  alone 
had  placed  him  in  his  present  abject  position.  Abject 
indeed  !  By  the  great  folk,  who  were  passing  him  on  all 
sides,  he  felt,  well-dressed  as  he  believed  himself  to  be, 
that  he  was  no  more  noticed  than  as  if  he  had  been  an 
ant,  a  bluedDottle  fly,  or  a  black  beetle  !  He  looked,  and 
sighed  —  sighed,  and  looked  —  looked,  and  sighed  again, 
in  a  kind  of  agony  of  vain  longing.  While  his  only  day 
in  the  week  fur  breathing  fresh  air,  and  appearing  like  a 
gentleman  in  the  world,  was  rapidly  drawing  to  a  close, 
and  he  was  beginning  to  think  of  returning  to  the  dog- 
hole  he  had  crawled  out  of  in  the  morning,  and  to  the 
shop  for  the  rest  of  the  week ;  the  great,  and  gay,  and 
happy  folk  he  was  looking  at,  were  thinking  of  driving 
to  dress  for  their  grand  dinners,  and  to  lay  out 
every  kind  of  fine  amusement  for  the  ensuing  week  :  and 
moreover,  was  the  sort  of  life  they  led  every  day  in 
vol.  i.  —2 


18  TEN    THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

the  week !  He  heaved  a  profound  sigh.  At  that  mo- 
ment a  superb  cab,  with  a  gentleman  in  it  dressed  in 
great  elegance,  and  with  very  keen  dark  eyes,  and  striking- 
nose  and  whiskers,  came  up  with  a  cab  of  still  more  ex- 
quisite structure  and  appointments,  and  at  which  Tit- 
mouse gazed  with  unutterable  feelings  of  envy  —  in  which 
sat  a  young  man,  evidently  of  consequence ;  very  hand- 
some, with  splendid  mustaches ;  perfectly  well-dressed ; 
holding  the  reins  and  whip  gracefully  in  hands  glistening 
'in  straw-colored  kid  gloves  —  and  between  the  two  gen- 
tlemen ensued  the  following  low-toned  colloquy,  which 
it  were  to  be  wished  that  every  such  sighing  simpleton 
(as  Titmouse  must,  I  fear,  by  this  time  appear  to  the 
reader)  could  have  overheard. 

"Ah,  Fitz  !"  said  the  former-mentioned  gentleman  to 
the  latter,  who  suddenly  reddened  when  he  perceived 
who  had  addressed  him.  The  manner  of  the  speaker 
was  execrably  familiar  and  presumptuous  —  but  how  could 
the  embarrassed  swell  help  himself? — "When  did  you 
return  to  town?" 

"  Last  night  only  " 

"  Enjoyed  yourself,  I  hope  1 " 


"  Pretty  well  —  but  —  I  —  suppose  you  " 


"  Sorry  for  it,"  interrupted  the  first  speaker  in  a  lower 
tone,  perceiving  the  vexation  of  his  companion;  "but 
can't  help  it,  you  know." 

"When?" 

"To-morrow  at  nine.  Monstrous  sorry  for  it  —  'pon 
my  soul,  you  really  must  look  sharp,  Fitz,  or  the  thing 
won't  go  on  much  longer." 

"Must  it  be,  really?"  inquired  the  other,  biting  his  lips 
— at  that  moment  kissing  his  hand  to  a  very  beautiful  girl, 
who  slowly  passed  him  in  a  coroneted  chariot  —  "  must 
it  really  be,  Joe  ? "  he  repeated,  turning  towards  his  com- 
panion a  pale  and  bitterly  chagrined  countenance. 


TEN  THOUSAND  A.-YEAB.  19 

"Pos,  'pon  my  life.     Cage  clean,  however,  and  not  very 

full — just  at  present  " 

"  Would  not  Wednesday!"  —  inquired  the  other,  lean* 

ing   forward   towards  the  former  speaker's  cab,  and  which 
pering  with  an  air  of  intense  earnestness.     "The  fact  is, 

I've  engagements  at  C 'a  on  Monday  and   Tuesday 

nights  with  one  or  two  country  cousins,  and  I  may  be  in 

a  condition  —  eh?  you  understand'?" 

His  companion  shook  his  head  distrustfully. 

"Upon  my  word  and  honor  as  a  gentleman,  it's  the 
fact  !"  said  the  other,  in  a  low  vehement  tone. 

"  Then  —  say  Wednesday,  nine  o'clock,  a.  m.  You 
understand?  Xo  mistake,  Fitz!"  replied  his  companion, 
looking  him  steadily  in  the  face  as  he  spoke. 

••  Xone  —  honor  !  "  —  After  a  pause  —  "  Who  is  it  1 " 

His  companion  took  a  slip  of  paper  out  of  his  pocket, 
and  in  a  whisper  read  from  it  —  "Cab,  harness,  &c, 
£297,   10s." 

"  A  villain  !  It 's  been  of  only  three  years'  standing," 
interrupted  the  other,  in  an  indignant  mutter. 

"  Between  ourselves,  he  is  rather  a  sharp  hand.  Then, 
I  'm  sorry  to  say  there  's  a  Detainer  or  two  I  have  had  a 
hint  of" 

The  swell  uttered  an  execration  which  I  dare  not 
convey  to  paper  —  his  face  distorted  with  an  expression 
of  mingled  disgust,  vexation,  and  hatred  ;  and  adding, 
••  Wednesday  —  nine  "  —  drove  off,  a  picture  of  tranquil 
enjoyment. 

I  need  hardly  say  that  he  was  a  fashionable  young 
spendthrift,  and  the  other  a  sheriff's  officer  of  the  first 
water  —  the  genteelest  beak  that  ever  was  known  or  heard 
of —  who  had  been  on  the  look-out  for  him  several  days, 
and  with  whom  the  happy  youngster  was  doomed  to 
spend  some  considerable  time  at  a  cheerful  residence  in 
Chancery  Lane,  bleeding  '_r"ld  at  every  pore  tin;  while  : 


20  TEN   THOUSAND   A- YEAR. 

—  his  only  chance  of  avoiding  which,  was,  as  he  had 
truly  hinted,  an  honorable  attempt  on  the  purses  of  two 

hospitable  country  cousins,  in  the  meanwhile,  at  C 's ! 

And  if  he  did  not  succeed  in  that  enterprise,  so  that  he 
must  go  to  cage,  he  lost  the  only  chance  he  had  for  some 
time  of  securing  an  exemption  from  such  annoyance,  by 
entering  Parliament  to  protect  the  liberties  of  the  people 

—  an  eloquent  and  resolute  champion  of  freedom  in  trade, 
religion,  and  everything  else  ;  and  an  abolitionist  of  every- 
thing, including,  especially,  negro  slavery  and  imprison- 
ment for  debt2  —  two  execrable  violations  of  the  natural 
rights  of  mankind. 

But  I  have,  for  several  minutes,  lost  sight  of  the 
admiring  Titmouse. 

"  Why,"  thought  he,  "  am  /  thus  spited  by  fortune  1  — 
The  only  thing  she  's  given  me  is  —  nothing  !  —  D  —  n 
everything  /"  exclaimed  Mr.  Titmouse  aloud,  at  the  same 
time  starting  off,  to  the  infinite  astonishment  of  an  old 
peer,  who  had  been  for  some  minutes  standing  leaning 
against  the  railing,  close  beside  him  ;  who  was  master  of 
a  magnificent  fortune,  "  with  all  appliances  and  means  to 
boot ;  "  with  a  fine  grown-up  family,  his  eldest  son  and 
heir  having  just  gained  a  Double  First,  and  promising 
wonders  ;  possessing  many  mansions  in  different  parts  of 
England  ;  a  reputation  for  exquisite  taste  and  accomplish- 
ment ;  and  being  the  representative  of  one  of  the  oldest 
families  in  England ;  but  who  at  that  moment  loathed 
everything  and  everybody,  including  himself,  because 
the  minister  had  the  day  before  intimated  to  him  that  he 
could  not  give  him  a  vacant  ribbon,  for  which  he  had 
applied,  unless  he  could  command  two  more  votes  in  the 
Lower  House,  and  which  at  present  his  lordship  saw  no 
earthly  means  of  doing.  Yes,  the  Earl  of  Cheviotdale 
and  Mr.  Tittlebat  Titmouse  were  both  miserable  men; 
both  had  been  hardly  dealt  with  by  fortune ;  both  were 


TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAB.  21 

greatly  to  be  pitied  ;  and  both  quitted  the  Park,  about 
the  same  time,  with  a  decided  misanthropic  tendency. 

Mr.  Titmouse  walked  along  Piccadilly  with  a  truly 
chopfallen  and  disconsolate  air.  He  very  nearly  felt  dis- 
satisfied even  with  his  personal  appearance!  Dress  as 
he  would,  no  one  seemed  to  eare  a  curse  for  him  ;  and, 
to  his  momentarily  jaundiced  eye,  he  seemed  equipped 
in  only  second-hand  and  shabby  finery  ;  and  then  he 
was  really  such  a  poor  devil!  —  Do  not,  however,  let 
the  reader  suppose  that  this  was  an  unusual  mood  with 
Mr.  Titmouse.  Xo  such  thing.  Like  the  Irishman  who 
"  married  a  wife  for  to  make  him  un-aisy ;  "  and  also  not 
unlike  the  moth  that  will  haunt  the  brightness  which  is 
her  destruction;  so  poor  Titmouse,  Sunday  after  Sun- 
day, dressed  himself  out  as  elaborately  as  he  had  done  on 
the  present  occasion,  and  then  always  betook  himself  to  the 
scene  he  had  just  again  witnessed,  and  which  had  once 
again  excited  only  those  feelings  of  envy,  bitterness,  and 
despair,  which  I  have  been  describing,  and  which,  on 
every  such  occasion,  he  experienced  with,  if  possible, 
increased  intensity. 

What  to  do  with  himself  till  it  should  be  time  to  re- 
turn to  his  cheerless  lodgings  he  did  not  exactly  know  ; 
so  he  loitered  along  at  a  snail's  pace.  He  stood  for  some 
time  staring  at  the  passengers,  their  luggage,  and  the 
coaches  they  were  ascending  and  alighting  from,  and 
listening  to  the  strange  medley  of  coachmens',  guards', 
and  porters'  vociferations,  and  passengers'  greetings  and 
leave-takings  —  always  to  be  observed  at  the  White  Horse 
Cellar.  Then  he  passed  along,  till  a  street  row,  near  the 
Haymarket,  attracted  his  attention  and  interested  his 
feeling-  ;  fur  it  ended  in  a  regular  set-to  between  two 
watermen  attached  to  the  adjoining  coach-stand.  Here 
he  conceived  bimself  looking  on  with  the  easy  air  of  a 
swell ;  and  the  ordinary  penalty  (paying  for  his  footing) 


22  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

was  attempted  to  be  exacted  from  him ;  but  lie  had  no- 
thing to  be  picked  out  of  any  of  his  pockets  except  that 
under  his  very  nose,  and  which  contained  his  white  hand- 
kerchief! This  over,  he  struck  into  Leicester  Square, 
where,  (he  was  in  luck  that  night,)  hurrying  up  to  another 
crowd  at  the  farther  end,  he  found  a  man  preaching  with 
infinite  energy.  Mr.  Titmouse  looked  on,  and  listened 
for  two  or  three  minutes  with  apparent  interest ;  and 
then,  with  a  countenance  in  which  pity  struggled  with 
contempt,  muttered,  loud  enough  to  be  heard  by  all  near 
him,  "  poor  devil !  "  and  walked  off.  He  had  not  pro- 
ceeded many  steps,  before  it  occurred  to  him  that  a 
friend  —  one  Robert  Huckaback,  much  such  another  one 
as  himself — lived  in  one  of  the  narrow,  dingy  streets  in 
the  neighborhood.  He  determined  to  take  the  chances 
of  his  being  at  home,  and  if  so,  of  spending  the  remainder 
of  the  evening  with  him.  Huckaback's  quarters  were  in 
the  same  ambitious  proximity  to  heaven  as  his  own ;  the 
only  difference  being,  that  they  were  a  trifle  cheaper  and 
larger.  He  answered  the  door  himself,  having  only  the 
moment  before  returned  from  his  Sunday's  excursion,  — 
i.  e.  the  Jack  Straw's  Castle  Tea-Gardens,  at  Highgate, 
where,  in  company  with  several  of  his  friends,  he  had 
"spent  a  jolly  afternoon."  He  ordered  in  a  glass  of 
negus  from  the  adjoining  public-house,  after  some  discus- 
sion, \jtfiich  ended  in  an  agreement  that  he  should  stand 
treat  that  night,  and  Titmouse  on  the  ensuing  Sunday 
night.  As  soon  as  the  negus  had  arrived,  accompanied 
by  two  sea-biscuits,  which  looked  so  hard  and  hopeless 
that  they  would  have  made  the  nerves  thrill  within  the 
teeth  of  him  that  meditated  attempting  to  masticate  them, 
the  candle  was  lit;  Huckaback  handed  a  cigar  to  his 
friend ;  and  both  began  to  puff  away,  and  chatter  pleas- 
antly concerning  the  many  events  and  scenes  of  the  day. 
"Anything    stirring    in   to-day's    'Flash?'"    inquired 


TEN    THOUSAND    A-YKAK.  23 

Titmouse,  as  his  eye  caught  sight  of  a  copy  of  that 
able  and  interesting  Sunday  newspaper,  the  "SUNDAY 
Flash,'*  which  Huckaback  had  hired  for  the  evening 
from  the  news-shop  on  the  ground-floor  of  his  lodgings. 

Mr.  Huckaback  removed  his  cigar  from  his  mouth, 
and  holding  it  between  the  first  and  second  fingers  of  his 
right  hand,  in  a  knowing  style,  with  closed  eyes  and  in- 
flated cheeks,  very  slowly  ejected  the  smoke  which  he 
had  last  inhaled,  and  rose  and  got  the  paper  from  the 
top  of  the  drawers. 

"  Here  's  a  mark  of  a  beastly  porter-pot  that 's  been 
set  upon  it.  by  all  that's  holy  !  It 's  been  at  the  public- 
house  !  Too  bad  of  Mrs.  Coggs  to  send  it  me  up  in  this 
state  !  "  said  he,  handling  it  as  though  its  touch  were 
contamination.  —  (He  was  to  pay  only  a  halfpenny  for 
the  perusal  of  it.)     "  Faugh  !  how  it  stinks  !  " 

••  What  a  horrid  beast  she  must  be  !  "  exclaimed  Tit- 
mouse, after,  in  like  manner  as  his  friend,  expelling  his 
mouthful  of  smoke.  "  But,  since  better  can't  be  had, 
bear  what  news  is  in  it.  Demmee  !  it's  the  only 
paper  published,  in  my  opinion,  that's  worth  reading  !  — 
Any  fights  astirring  1 " 

"  Have  n't  come  to  them  yet ;  give  a  man  time,  Titty  ! " 
replied  Huckaback,  fixing  his  feet  on  another  chair,  and 
drawing  the  candle  closer  to  the  paper.  "  It  says,  by 
the  way,  that  the  Duke  of  Dunderhead  is  certainly  mak- 
ing up  to  Mrs.  Thumps,  the  rich  cheesemonger's  widow ; 
—  a  precious  good  hit  that,  isn't  it]  You  know  the 
Duke's  as   poor  as  a  rat!" 

••  I  >li  !  that's  no  news.  It's  been  in  the  papers  for  I 
don't  know  how  long.  Egad,  'twill  quite  set  him  up  — 
and  no  mistake.     Seen  the  Duke  ever?" 

••  Ye  —  es  !  Oh,  several  times  !  "  replied  Huckaback. 
This  was  a  lie,  and   Huckaback  knew  that  it  was. 

•  Deuced  good-looking,  I  suppose]" 


24  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

"  Why  —  middling ;  I  should  say  middling.  Know 
some  that  need  n't  fear  to  compare  with  him  —  eh  ! 
Tit  1 " —  and  Huckaback  winked  archly  at  his  friend, 
meaning  him,  however,  to  consider  the  words  as  applica- 
ble to  the  speaker. 

"Ah,  ha,  ha!  —  a  pretty  joke!  But  come,  that's  a 
good  chap  !  —  You  can't  be  reading  both  of  those  two 
sheets  at  once  —  give  us  the  other  sheet,  and  set  the 
candle  right  betwixt  us!  —  Come,  fair's  the  word  among 
gents,  you  know  !  " 

Huckaback  thus  appealed  to,  did  as  his  friend  re- 
quested ;  and  the  two  gentlemen  read  and  smoked  for 
some  minutes  in  silence. 

"  Well  —  I  shall  spell  over  the  advertisements  now," 
said  Titmouse,  very  emphatically  ;  "  there 's  a  pretty  lot 
of  them  —  and  I  've  read  everything  else —  (though  pre- 
cious little  there  is,  here  besides  !  )  —  So,  here  goes  !  — 
One  may  hear  of  a  prime  situation,  you  know  —  and  I  'm 
quite  sick  of  Tag-rag  ! " 

Another  interval  of  silence  ensued.  Huckaback  was 
deep  in  the  ghastly  but  instructive  details  of  a  trial  for 
murder;  and  Titmouse,  after  having  glanced  listlessly 
over  the  entertaining  first  sheet  of  advertisements,  was 
on  the  point  of  laying  down  his  half  of  the  paper,  when 
he  suddenly  started  in  his  chair,  turned  very  pale,  and 
stammered  — 

"  Hollo  !  —  hollo,  Hucky  !  —  Why  " 

"What's  the  matter,  Tit  %  —  eh  ?"  inquired  Hucka- 
back, greatly   astonished. 

For  a  moment  Titmouse  made  no  answer,  but,  drop- 
ping his  cigar,  fixed  his  eyes  intently  on  the  paper,  which 
began  to  rustle  in  his  trembling  hands.  What  occasioned 
this  outbreak,  with  its  subsequent  agitation,  was  the  fol- 
lowing advertisement,  which  appeared  in  the  most  con- 
spicuous part  of  the  "  Sunday  Flash  :  "  — 


TKN    THOUSAND   A.-YEAB.  25 

••  Next  OF  Kin — Important. —  The  next  of  kin,  if  any  such 
there  be,  of  Qabrisl  Tittlebat  Titmouse,  formerly  of  White- 
haven, cordwainer,  and  who  died  somewhere  about  the  year 
in  London,  may  hear  of  something  of  the  greatest  ros- 
BiBLS  importance  to  himself,  or  herself, or  themselves,  by  im- 
mediately communicating  with  Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon,  and 
SNAP,  Solicitors,  Saffron  Hill.  No  time  is  to  be  lost.  9th  July 
IS —  .  —  The  third  advertisement." 

"  By  George  !  Here  is  a  go  !  "  exclaimed  Huckaback, 
almost  as  much  flustered  as  Titmouse  over  whose  shoulder 
he  had  hastily  read  the  above  paragraph. 

"  AVe  aren't  dreaming,  Hucky  —  are  we1?"  inquired 
Titmouse,  faintly,  his  eyes  still  glued  to  the  newspaper. 

"  No  —  by  George  !  Never  was  either  of  us  fellows  so 
precious  wide  awake  in  our  lives  before !  that  I  '11  answer 
for  : "  Titmouse  sat  still,  and  turned  paler  even  than 
before. 

"  Read  it  up,  Huck  !  —  Let 's  hear  how  it  sounds,  and 
then  we  shall  believe  it  !  "  said  he,  handing  the  paper  to 
his  friend. 

Huckaback  read  it  aloud. 

"  It  sounds  like  something,  don't  it  1 "  inquired  Tit- 
mouse, tremulously,  his  color  a  little   returning. 

"  Uncommon  !  —  If  this  is  n't  something,  then  there  's 
nothing  in  anything  any  more ! "  replied  Huckaback, 
solemnly,  at  the  same  time  emphatically  slapping  the 
table. 

"  Xo  !  —  '  Pon  my  soul !  but  do  you  really  think  so  ?  " 
said  Titmouse,  seeking  still  further  confirmation  than  he 
r  derived  from  his  senses  of  sight  and  hearing. 

"  I  do,  by  jingo  !  "  repeated  Huckaback  —  "  What  a  go 
it  is  !  —  Well,  my  poor  old  mother  used  to  say,  '  depend 
on  it,  wonders  never  will  cease  ;'  and  curse  me  if  she  ever 
said  a  truer  word  !  " 

Titm  in  read  over  the  advertisement;  and  then 


26  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

picking  up  and  relighting  his  fragment  of  cigar,  puffed 
earnestly  in  silence  for  some  moments. 

"  Such  things  never  happens  to  such  a  poor  devil  of  a 
chap  as  me  !  "  exclaimed  Huckaback,  with  a  sigh. 

"  What  is  in  the  wind,  I  wonder]"  muttered  Titmouse. 
"  Who  knows  —  hem  !  —  who  knows  ]  —  But  now,  really  " 

he  paused,  and  once  more  read  over  the  pregnant 

paragraph.  —  "  It  can't  —  no,  curse  me,  it  can't  be  " 
he  added,  looking  very  serious. 

"  What,  Tit  1  What  can't  be  I "  interrupted  Huckaback, 
eagerly. 

"  Why,  I've  been  thinking  —  but  what  do  you  think, 
eh  1  —  it  can't  hardly  be  a  cursed  hoax  of  the  chaps  in 
the  premises  at  Tag-rag's  ?  " 

"  Bo  !  —  Is  there  any  of  'em  flush  enough  of  money  to 
do  the  thing  1  And  how  should  they  think  it  would  ever 
come  to  be  seen  by  you  1  —  Then,  besides,  there  is  n't  a 
chap  among  them  that  could  come  up  to  the  composing 
a  piece  of  composition  like  that  —  no,  not  for  all  a  whole 
year's  salary  —  there  is  n't,  by  George  !  You  and  I 
could  n't  do  it,   and,  of  course,  they  could  n't !  " 

"Ah!  I  don't  know,"  said  Titmouse,  doubtfully. 
"  But  —  honor !  —  do  you  really  now  think  there  's  any- 
thing in  it?" 

"  I  do  —  I  'm  blowed  if  I  don't,  Tit !  "  was  the  sen- 
tentious answer. 

"  Tol  de  rol,  de  rol,  de  rol,  de  rol  —  diddl'em  —  daddl'em 
—  bang  !"  almost  shouted  Titmouse,  jumping  up,  snap- 
ping his  fingers,  and  dancing  about  in  a  wild  ecstasy,  which 
lasted  for  nearly  a  minute. 

"  Give  me  your  hand,  Hucky,"  said  he  presently,  almost 
breathless.  "  If  I  am  a  made  man  —  tol  de  rol,  lol  de  rol, 
lol  de  rol,  lol !  —  you  see,  Huck  !  —  if  I  don't  give  you 
the  handsomest  breastpin  you  ever  saw  !  No  paste  !  real 
diamond  !  —  Hurrah  !     I  will,  by  jingo  !  " 


TEN   THOUSAND  A-YKAK.  27 

Huckaback  grasped  and  squeezed  his  hand.     "  We  've 

always     been     friends,    Tit  —  haven't    we]"    said    he, 
affectionately. 

"My  room  won't  hold  me  to-night  1 "  continued  Tit- 
mouse :  "  I  'm  sure  it  won't.  I  feel  as  if  I  was,  as  you 
may  say,  swelling  all  over.  I  '11  walk  the  streets  all  night  : 
I  couldn't  sleep  a  wink  for  the  life  of  me  !  I'll  walk 
about  till  the  shop  opens.  Oh,  faugh  !  how  nasty  !  Con- 
found the  shop,  and  Tag-rag,  and  everything  and  every- 
body in  it!  Thirty-five  pounds  a  year?  See  if  I  won't 
spend  as  much  in  cigars  the  first  month  !  " 

"  Cigars  !  Is  that  your  go  1  Xow,  /  should  take  lessons 
in  boxing,  to  begin  with.  It's  a  deuced  high  thing,  you 
may  depend  upon  it,  and  you  can't  be  fit  company  for 
swells  without  it,  Tit !     You  can't,  by  Jove  !  " 

"  Whatever  you  like,  whatever  you  like,  Hucky  !  "  cried 
Titmouse  —  adding,  in  a  sort  of  ecstasy,  "  I  'm  sorry  to 
say  it,  but  how  precious  lucky  that  my  father  and  mother  's 
dead,  and  that  I  'm  an  only  child  —  too-ra-laddy,  too-ra- 
laddy  !  "  Here  he  took  such  a  sudden  leap,  that  I  am 
sorry  to  say  he  split  his  trousers  very  awkwardly,  and 
that  sobered  him  for  a  moment,  while  they  made  ar- 
rangements for  cobbling  it  up  as  well  as  might  be, 
with  a  needle  and  thread  which  Huckaback  always 
had  by  him. 

"  \Ye  're  rather  jumping  in  the  dark  a-bit,  aren't  we, 
Tit  ? "  inquired  Huckaback,  while  his  companion  was 
repairing  the  breach.  "  Let 's  look  what  it  all  means  — 
here  it  is."  He  read  it  all  aloud  again  —  "'greatest 
'■  importance/*  —  what  can  it  mean?  Why  the 
deuce  couldn't  they  speak  out  plainly  ?" 

"What!  in  a  newspaper?  Lord,  Hucky!  how  many 
Titmouses  would  start  up  on  all  sides,  if  there  isn't  some 
already  indeed!  I  wonder  what  'greatest  possible  impor- 
tance '  '-mi  mean,  now  !  " 


28  TEN   THOUSAND   A- YEAR. 

"  Some   one  's  left  you   an   awful   lot   of  money,    of 
course  " 


'*  It 's  too  good  to  be  true  " 

"Or  you  may  have  made  a  smite;  you  a'n't  such  a 
bad-looking  fellow,  when  you  're  dressed  as  you  are  now 
—  you  a'n't  indeed,  Titty  ! "  Mr.  Titmouse  was  quite 
flustered  with  the  mere  supposition,  and  also  looked  as 
sheepish  as  his  features  would  admit  of. 

"  E-e-e-eh",  Hucky  !  how  ve-ry  silly  you  are  !  "  he 
simpered. 

"  Or  you  may  be  found  out  heir  to  some  great  property, 
and  all  that  kind  of  thing.  —  But  when  do  you  intend  to 
go  to  Messrs.  What  's-their-name  1  I  should  say,  the 
sooner  the  better.  Come,  you  've  stitched  them  trousers 
well  enough,  now  ;  they  '11  hold  you  till  you  get  home, 
(you  do  brace  up  uncommon  tight  !)  and  I  'd  take  off  my 
straps,  if  I  was  you.  Why  should  n't  we  go  to  these  gents 
now  1  Ah,  here  they  are  —  Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon,  and 
Snap,  solicitors." 

"  I  wonder  if  they  're  great  men  1  Did  you  ever  hear 
of  them  before  1 " 

"  Have  n't  I !  Their  names  is  always  in  this  same 
paper ;  they  are  every  day  getting  people  off  out  of  all 
kinds  of  scrapes  —  they  're  the  chaps  /  should  nat'rally 
go  to  if  I  anyhow  got  wrong  —  ahem  !  " 

"  But,  my  dear  fellow  —  Saffron  Hill !  —  Low  that  — 
devilish  low,  'pon  my  soul !    JSever  was  near  it  in  my  life." 

"  But  they  live  there  to  be  near  the  thieves.  Lud,  the 
thieves  couldn't  do  without  'em!  But  w7hat's  that  to 
you  !  You  know  '  a  very  dirty  ugly  toad  has  often  got 
a  jewel  in  his  belly,'  so  Shakspeare  or  some  one  says. 
Is  n't  it  enough  for  you,  Tit,  if  they  can  make  good 
their  advertisement  %  Let 's  off,  Tit  —  let 's  off,  I  say  ; 
for  you  may  n't  be  able  to  get  there  to-morrow  —  your 
employers  !  " 


TVS    THOUSAND   A-YEAR.  29 

"My  employers!  Do  you  think,  Hucky,  I'm  going 
back  to  business  after  this  |  " 

"Come,  come,  Titty  —  not  so  fast  —  suppose  it  all 
turns  out  moonshine,  after  all"  —  quoth  Huckaback, 
seriously. 

"  Lord,  but  I  won't  suppose  anything  of  the  sort !  It 
makes  me  sick  to  think  of  nothing  coming  of  it !  —  Let 's 
ff  at  once,  and  see  what 's  to  be  done  !  " 

S  Huckaback  put  the  newspaper  into  his  pocket,  blew 
out  the  candle,  and  the  two  started  on  their  important 
errand.  It  was  well  that  their  means  had  been  too 
limited  to  allow  of  their  indulging  to  a  greater  extent 
than  a  glass  of  port-wine  negus  (that  was  the  name  under 
which  they  had  drunk  the  "publican's  port  "  —  i.  e.  a  warm 
sweetened  decoction  of  oak  bark,  logwood  shavings,  and 
a  little  brandy)  between  them  ;  otherwise,  excited  as  were 
the  feelings  of  each  of  them  by  the  discovery  of  the 
evening,  they  must  in  all  probability  have  been  guilty  of 
some  piece  of  extravagance  in  the  streets.  As  it  was, 
they  talked  very  loudly  as  they  went  along,  and  in  a 
tone  of  conversation  pitched  perhaps  a  little  too  high 
f"i*  their  present  circumstances,  however  in  unison  it 
might  be  with  the  expected  circumstances  of  one  of 
them. 

In  due  time  they  reached  the  residence  of  which  they 

were  in  search.     It  was  a  large  house,  greatly  superior 

to  all  its  dingy  neighbors  ;  and  on  a  bright  brass  plate, 

.i  yard  long  at  least,  and  a  foot  wide,  stood    the    awe- 

ing  words,  "Quirk,  Gammon,  k  Snap,  Solicitors." 

"  Now,  Tit,"  whispered  Huckaback,  after  they  had 
paused  for  a  second  or  two  —  "now  for  it  —  pluck  up  a 
sperrit  —  ring  '.  " 

"I  —  I  —  'pon  my  life  —  I  feel  all  of  a  sudden  un- 
common funky  —  I  think  that  last  cigar  of  yours 
was  n't  " 


30  TEN   THOUSAND    A-YEAR. 

"  Stuff,  Tit  —  ring  !  ring  away  !  Faint  heart  never 
wins  !  " 

"  Well,  it  must  be  done  :  so  —  here  goes  at  any  rate  !  " 
he  replied  ;  and  with  a  short  nervous  jerk,  he  caused 
a  startling  clatter  within,  which  was  so  distinctly  audible 
without,  that  both  of  them  instinctively  hemmed,  as  if  to 
drown  the  noise  which  was  so  much  greater  than  they 
had  expected.  In  a  very  few  moments  they  heard  some 
one  undoing  the  fastenings  of  the  door,  and  the  gentle- 
men looked  at  one  another  with  an  expression  of  mingled 
expectation  and  apprehension.  A  little  old  woman  at 
length,  with  a  candle  in  her  hand,  retaining  the  heavy 
door-chain  in  its  fastening,  peered  round  the  edge  of 
the  door  at  them. 

"  Who  are  you  1 "  she  exclaimed  crustily. 

"  Is  this  Messrs.  —  What  is  it,  Huck  1  —  Oh  !  Messrs. 
Quirk  &  Co.'sV  inquired  Titmouse,  tapping  the  end  of 
his  cane  against  his  chin,  with  a  desperate  effort  to  ap- 
pear at  his  ease. 

"  Why,  where  's  your  eyes  1  "  she  replied  angrily,  "  I 
should  think  you  might  have  seen  what  was  wrote  on 
this  here  plate  —  it 's  large  enough,  one  should  have 
thought,  to  be  read  by  them  as  can  read  —  Is  your's 
Newgate  business1?     Because  if " 

"  We  want  —  Give  us  the  paper,  Hucky  "  —  he  added, 
addressing  his  companion,  who  produced  it  in  a  moment ; 
and  Titmouse  would  have  proceeded  to  possess  the  old 
lady  of  all  his  little  heart,  when  she  cut  him  short  by 
saying  snappishly  —  "  They  are  n't  none  on  'em  in  ;  nor 
never  is  on  Sundays  —  so  you  '11  just  call  to-morrow  if 
you  wants  'em.     What  's  your  names  1 " 

"  Mr.  Tittlebat  Titmouse,"  answered  that  gentleman, 
with  a  very  particular  emphasis  on  every  syllable. 

"  Mr.  who  ? "  exclaimed  the  old  woman,  opening  her 
eyes  very  wide,  and  raising  her  hand  to  the  back  of  her 


TEN    THOUSAND   A-YEAK.  3j 

ear.      Mr.  Titmouse  repeated  his  name  more  loudly  and 
distinctly. 

"  Tippet ytippety  —  what  'a  that  1 " 

"No,  ii"!*'  exclaimed   Titmouse,  peevishly;  "I  said, 

Mr.  Tit-el-bat  Tit-mouse  !  —  will  that  suit  you  1 " 

"  Tick-a-tick-a-tick  ?  —  Well,  gracious!  if  ever  I  heard 
such  a  name.  Oh!  —  I  see!  —  you're  making  a  fool 
of  me  !  Get  off,  or  I  '11  call  a  constable  in  !  —  Get 
along  with  you,  you  couple  of  jail-birds  !  Is  this  the 
way" 

"  1  tell  you,"  interposed  Mr.  Huckaback,  angrily, 
"that  this  gentleman's  name  is  Mr.  Tittlebat  Titmouse; 
and  you  'd  better  take  care  what  you  're  at,  old  woman, 
for  we've  come  on  business  of  ivital  consequence!" 

••  I  dare  Bay  it  '11  keep,  then,  till  to-morrow,"  tartly 
added  the  old  woman. 

The  friends  consulted  for  a  moment,  and  then  Tit- 
mouse asked  if  he  might  come  in  and  write  a  letter  to 
Messrs.  Quirk  and  Co. 

"Xo  indeed!"  said  she;  "how  do  I  know  who  you 
are  ?  There  s  a  public-house  close  by,  where  you  may 
write  what  you  like,  and  bring  it  here,  and  they  '11  get  it 
the  first  thing  in  the  morning.  So  that 's  what  you  may 
take  away  with  you  !  "  —  with  which  the  complaisant 
old  janitrix  shut  the  door  in  their  faces. 

"  Huck,  'pon  my  life,  I  am  afraid  there  's  nothing  in 
it,"  said  Titmouse,  despondingly,  to  his  friend  —  both  of 
them  remaining  rooted  to  the  spot. 

"  Oudacious  old  toad ! "  muttered  Huckaback,  very 
indignantly. 

"  Hucky  —  I  'm  sure  there  's  nothing  in  it  !  "  exclaimed 
Titmouse,  after  a  long  pause,  looking  earnestly  at  his 
friend,  hoping  to  draw  from  him  a  contrary  opinion. 

"I —  I  own  I  don't  half  like  the  looks  of  it,"  replied 
Huckaback,  putting  his  newspaper  into  his  pocket  again; 


32  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

"  but  we  '11  try  if  we  can't  write  a  letter  to  sound  'em, 
and  so  far  take  the  old  creature's  advice.  Here  's  the 
public-house  she  told  us  of.  Come,  let 's  see  what 's  to 
be  done ! " 

Titmouse,  greatly  depressed,  followed  his  friend ;  and 
they  soon  provided  themselves  with  two  glasses  of  stout, 
and  after  a  little  difficulty,  with  implements  for  writing. 
That  they  made  good  use  of  their  time  and  materials,  let 
the  following  epistle  prove.  It  was  their  joint  composi- 
tion, and  here  is  an  exact  copy  of  it :  — 

"  To  Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon  and  Snap. 
*  Sir, 

"  Your  Names  being  Put  In  an  Advertisement  in  This  pre- 
sent Sunday  Flash,  Newspaper  of  To  Day's  Date,  Mr.  T.  T. 
Begs  To  inform  Your  respectable  House  I  feel  Uncommon 
anxious  To  speak  with  them  On  This  truly  interesting  subject, 
seeing  It  mentions  The  Name  Of  Gabriel  Tittlebat  Titmouse, 
which  Two  last  Names  Of  That  Deceased  Person  my  Own 
Name  Is,  which  can  Any  Day  (As  soon  As  Possible)  call  and 
prove  To  you,  By  telling  you  The  Same,  truly.  He  being  En- 
gaged in  Business  During  the  week  Very  close,  (for  The 
Present,)  I  hope  that  If  they  Have  Anything  particular  To 
say  To  Him,  they  will  write  To  me  without  The  least  Delay, 
and  please  address  T.  T.,  At  Tag-rag  and  Co.'s,  No.  375, 
Oxford  Street,  Post-Paid,  which  will  ensure  Its  Being  duly 
Taken  In  By  my  Employers,  and  am, 

"  Gents, 
"  Your's  to  Command, 

"Tittlebat  Titmouse. 

"  P.  S.  —  My  Friend,  which  Is  With  me  writing  This,  (Mr. 
Robert  Huckaback,)  can  prove  who  I  am  If  necessiated  so 
to  do. 

"  N.  B.  —  Shall  have  no  objections  to  do  the  Liberal  Thing 
if  anything  suitable  Turns  Up  Of  It. 


TKN    THOUSAND    A-YEAR.  oo 

"  (Sunday  Evening,  9/T/18 — . 
"Forgot  to  Say,  am  The  only  Child  of  my  Honored  Parents, 
one  of  which  (my  Mother)  Died  ;  before  I  knew  them  In 
Lawful  Wedloc,  and  Was  J7  Last  Birth  Day,  Never  having 
Seen  your  Advertisement  Till  This  Night,  wh,  if  Necessary 
can  Ptove.)" 

This  perspicuous  and  truly  elegant  performance  having 
been  thrice  subjected  to  the  critical  examination  of  the 
friends,  (the  paragraph  concerning  Huckaback  having 
been  inserted  at  the  instance  of  that  gentleman,  who 
wished  to  be  mixed  up  from  the  beginning  with  so  prom- 
ising  an  affair,)  was  then  folded  up,  and  directed  to 
••  Messrs,  Quirk  and  Co.,"  a  great  straggling  wet  wafer 
having  been  first  put  upon  it.  It  was  safely  deposited, 
a  few  minutes  afterwards,  with  the  old  lady  at  Messrs. 
Quirk,  Gammon,  and  Snap's  ;  and  then  the  two  West- 
End  gentlemen  hastened  away  from  that  truly  plebeian 
part  of  the  town  !  Under  three  different  gas-lights  did 
they  stop,  take  out  the  newspaper,  and  spell  over  the 
advertisement  ;  by  which  ingenious  processes  they  at 
length  succeeded  in  satisfying  themselves  that  there  ivas 
something  in  it  —  a  fact  of  which,  upon  the  old  woman 
shutting  the  door  in  their  faces,  it  may  be  recollected 
they  had  had  grievous  misgivings.  They  parted,  however, 
with  a  considerable  abatement  of  the  excitement  with 
which  they  had  set  out  on  their  voyage  of  discovery. 

Mr.  Titmouse  did  not,  on  reaching  his  room,  take  off 
and  lav  aside  his  precious  Sunday  apparel  with  his  ac- 
customed care  and  deliberation.  On  the  contrary,  he 
peeled  it  off,  as  it  were,  and  threw  himself  on  the  bed  as 
quickly  as  possible,  in  order  that  he  might  calmly  re- 
volve the  immense  event  of  the  day  in  his  little  mind, 
which  it  had  agitated  like  a  stone  thrown  into  a  stagnant 
pool  by  the  roadside.  Oh,  how  restless  was  he  !  —  not 
more  so  could  he  have  been  had  he  lain  between  horse- 
vol.  i.  —  3 


34  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAK. 

hair  sheets.  He  repeatedly  got  up  and  walked  about  two 
or  three  little  steps,  which  were  all  that  his  room  ad- 
mitted of.  At  the  very  first  peep  of  daylight  he  started 
out  of  bed,  got  out  of  his  pocket  the  newspaper  which 
Huckaback  had  lent  him,  strove  to  decipher  the  adver- 
tisement, and  then  sank  into  bed  again  —  but  not  to 
sleep,  till  four  or  five  o'clock ;  having  nevertheless  to 
rise  at  half-past  six,  to  resume  his  detested  duties  at 
Tag-rag  and  Co.'s,  whose  shop  he  assisted  in  opening 
at  seven  o'clock,  as  usual.  When  he  and  his  shopmates 
were  sitting  together  at  breakfast,  he  could  not  for  the 
life  of  him  help  letting  out  a  little,  vaguely  and  myste- 
riously, about  "something  that  might  happen  in  the 
course  of  the  day ; "  and  thereby  succeeded  in  satisfying 
his  experienced  companions  that  he  expected  the  visit  of 
a  policeman,  for  some  row.  he  had  been  concerned  in 
over-night.  —  Well  :  —  eight,  nine,  ten  o'clock  wore  away 
heavily,  and  nothing  transpired,  alas  !  to  vary  the  monot- 
onous duties  in  which  Mr.  Titmouse  was  engaged ;  bale 
after  bale,  and  package  after  package,  he  took  down  and 
put  up  again,  at  the  bidding  of  pretty,  capricious  cus- 
tomers ;  silk,  satin,  bombazines,  crapes,  muslins,  ribbons, 
gloves,  he  assisted  in  displaying,  disposing  of,  or  replacing 
as  usual ;  but  it  was  clear  that  his  powerful  understand- 
ing could  no  longer  settle  itself,  as  before,  upon  his  re- 
sponsible and  arduous  duties.  Every  other  minute  he 
cast  a  feverish  furtive  glance  towards  the  door.  He 
almost  dropped,  at  one  time,  as  a  postman  crossed  from 
the  opposite  side  of  the  street,  as  if  to  enter  their  shop  — 
then  passing  on  immediately,  however,  to  the  next  door. 
Not  a  person,  in  short,  entered  the  premises,  whom  he 
did  not  scrutinize  narrowly  and  anxiously,  but  in  vain. 
No  —  buying  and  selling  was  the  order  of  the  day,  as 
usual !  —  Eleven  o'clock  struck,  and  he  sighed.  "  You 
don't  seem  well,"  said  a  pretty  young  woman,  to  whom, 


TEN   THOUSAND    A-YEAK.  35 

in  a  somewhat  absent  manner,  he  was  exhibiting  and  de- 
scribing the  qualities  of  some  cambric.  "  Oh  —  ye  —  cs, 
uncommon  !  "  he  replied ;  "  never  better,  ma'am,  than 
when  so  well  employed  !  "  accompanying  the  latter  words 
with  what  he  conceived  to  be  a  very  arch,  but  which 
was  in  tact  a  very  impudent,  look  at  his  fair  customer. 
At  that  moment  a  voice  called  out  to  him  from  the 
farther  end  of  the  shop,  near  the  door  —  "Titmouse! 
Wanted!" 

"  ( loming  !  "  he  shouted,  turning  as  white  as  the  cam- 
bric he  held  in  his  hands  —  which  became  suddenly  cold  ; 
while  his  heart  went  thump,  thump,  as  he  hastily  ex- 
claimed to  the  astonished  lady,  "  Excuse  me,  ma'am,  if  you 
— rones,"  addressing  the  shopman  next  him,  "  will 
you  attend  to  this  lady1?"  and  he  hastened  whither  he  had 
been  called,  amid  a  prevalent  grin  and  "  hem!"  from  his 
companions  "ii  each  side,  as  he  passed  along  the  shop,  till 
he  reached  the  spot  where  stood  the  stranger  who  had  in- 
quired for  him.  He  was  of  a  slight  and  gentlemanly  fig- 
ure, above  the  average  height.  His  countenance  was  very 
striking  :  he  was  dressed  with  simplicity  —  somewhat  care- 
ieesly  perhaps;  and  appeared  somewhere  about  thirty-six 
or  thirty-seven  years  of  age.  He  bowed  slightly  as  Tit- 
mouse approached  him,  and  an  air  of  very  serious  surprise 
came  over  his  expressive  countenance. 

••  Mr.  Titmouse]"  he  inquired  blandly. 

"  Ye-e-s,  sir,  at  your  service,"  replied  Titmouse,  trem- 
bling involuntarily  all  over.  The  stranger  again  slightly 
inclined  towards  him,  and  —  still  more  slightly  —  touched 
it;  fixing  on  him,  at  the  same  time,  an  inquisitive 
penetrating  eye,  which  really  abashed,  or  rather  perhaps 
alarmed  him. 

"  You  left  —  you  favored  us  by  leaving  —  a  note  at  our 
office  last  night,  sir,  addressed  to  Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon, 
and  Snap  !  "  he  inquired,  lowering  his  voice  to  a  whisper. 


36                            TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 
"Yes,  sir,  hoping  it  was  no" 


"  Pray,  Mr.  Titmouse,  can  we  be  alone  for  about  five  or 
ten  minutes  1  " 

"  I  —  I  — don't  exactly  know,  here,  sir  ;  I  'm  afraid  — 
against  the  rules  of  the  house  —  but  I'll  ask.  Here  is 
Mr.  Tag-rag.  —  May  I  step  into  the  cloak-room  with  this 
gentleman  for  a  few  minutes,  sir  1 "  he  continued,  address- 
ing his  imperious  employer,  who,  with  a  pen  behind  his 
right  ear,  his  left  hand  in  his  breeches  pocket,  and  his 
right  hand  impatiently  tweedling  about  his  watch-seals, 
had  followed  Titmouse,  on  hearing  him  inquired  for  in 
the  manner  I  have  described,  and  stood  at  a  yard  or  two's 
distance,  eying  the  two  with  a  truculent  dissatisfied  look, 
wondering  what  on  earth  any  one  could  want  with  one  of 
his  young  men. 

As  Mr.  Tag-rag  will  be  rather  a  prominent  figure  on 
my  canvas,  I  may  as  well  here  give  the  reader  a  slight 
preparatory  sketch  of  that  gentleman.  He  was  about 
fifty-two  years  old ;  a  great  tyrant  in  his  little  way  ;  a 
compound  of  ignorance,  selfishness,  cant,  and  conceit.  He 
knew  nothing  on  earth  except  the  price  of  his  goods,  and 
how  to  make  the  most  of  his  business.  He  was  of  middle 
size,  with  a  tendency  to  corpulence  ;  and  almost  invaria- 
bly wore  a  black  coat  and  waistcoat,  a  white  neck  hand- 
kerchief very  primly  tied,  and  gray  trousers.  He  had  a 
dull,  gray  eye,  with  white  eyelashes,  and  no  eyebrows  ;  a 
forehead  which  seemed  ashamed  of  his  face,  it  retreated 
so  far  and  so  abruptly  back  from  it;  his  face  was  pretty 
deeply  pitted  with  the  small-pox;  his  nose  —  or  rather 
semblance  of  a  nose  —  consisted  of  two  great  nostrils  look- 
ing at  you  —  as  it  were,  impudently  —  out  of  the  middle 
of  his  face ;  there  was  a  perfect  level  space  from  cheek- 
bone to  cheek-bone  ;  his  gray  whiskers,  trimly  and  closely 
cut,  came  in  points  to  each  corner  of  his  mouth,  which 
was  large,  shapeless,  and  sensual-looking.    This  may  serve, 


TEX   THOUSAND   A-YEAK.  37 

for  the  present,  to  give  you  an  idea  of  the  man  who  had 
contrived  to  excite  towards  himself  the  hatred  and  con- 
tempt of  everybody  over  whom  he  had  any  control  —  with 
whom  in  fact  he  had  anything  to  do. 

''You  know  quite  well,  sir,  we  never  allow  anything  of 
the  sort,"  was  his  short  reply,  in  a  very  disagreeable  tone 
and  manner,  to  Titmouse's  modest  request. 

M  May  I  beg  the  favor  of  a  few  minutes'  private  conver- 
sation with  Mr.  Titmouse,"  said  the  stranger,  politely,  "on 
a  matter  of  the  last  importance  to  him1?  My  name,  sir, 
is  Gammon,  and  I  am  a  solicitor  of  the  firm  of  Quirk, 
Gammon,  and  Snap" 

••  Why,  sir,"  answered  Tag-rag,  somewhat  cowed  by  the 
calm  and  gentlemanly,  but  at  the  same  time  decisive 
manner  of  Mr.  Gammon  —  "  it 's  really  very  inconvenient, 
and  decidedly  against  the  rules  of  the  house,  for  any  of 
my  young  men  to  be  absent  on  business  of  their  own  dur- 
ing vty  business  hours  ;  but  —  I  suppose  —  what  must  be 
must  be  —  I'll  give  him  ten  minutes  —  and  he'd  better 
not  stay  longer,"  he  subjoined  fiercely  —  looking  signifi- 
cantly first  at  his  watch,  and  then  at  Titmouse.  "  It 's 
only  for  the  sake  of  my  other  young  men,  you  know,  sir. 
In  a  large  establishment  like  ours,  we  're  obliged,  you 
know,  sir,"  &c.  &c.  &c,  he  added,  in  a  low  cringing  tone, 
deprecatory  of  the  contemptuous  air  with  which  he  felt 
that  Mr.  Gammon  was  regarding  him. 

That  gentleman,  with  a  slight  bow,  and  a  sarcastic  smile, 
presently  quitted  the  shop,  accompanied  by  Titmouse,  who 
scarce  knew  whether  his  head  or  heels  were  uppermost. 

"How  far  do  you  live  from  this  place,  Mr.  Titmouse?" 
inquired  Mr.  Gammon,  as  soon  as  they  had  got  into 
the  street. 

"Not  four  minutes'  walk,  sir;  but  —  hem  !"  —  he  was 
flustered  at  the  idea  of  showing  so  eminent  a  person  into 
his  wretched  room —  "Suppose  we  were  to  step  into  this 


38  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

tavern  here,  sir  —  I  dare  say  they  have  a  room  at  our 
service  "  

"  Pray,  allow  me  to  ask,  Mr.  Titmouse  —  have  you  any 
private  papers  —  family  writings,  or  things  of  that  sort, 
at  your  rooms  V* 

Titmouse  seemed  considering. 

"I  —  I  think  I  have,  sir,"  he  replied  —  " one  or  two  — 
but  they  're  of  no  consequence." 

"Are  you  a  judge  on  that  point,  Mr.  Titmouse1? "  in- 
quired Mr.  Gammon,  with  a  smile  ;  "  pray  let  us,  my  dear 
sir,  at  once  proceed  to  your  rooms  —  time  is  very  short 
and  valuable.  I  should  vastly  like  to  look  at  these  same 
insignificant  papers  of  yours  !  " 

In  less  than  two  minutes'  further  time,  Mr.  Gammon 
was  sitting  at  Titmouse's  little  rickety  round  table,  at  his 
lodgings,  with  a  sheet  of  paper  before  him,  and  a  small 
pencil-case  in  his  hand,  asking  him  a  number  of  questions 
concerning  his  birth  and  family  connections,  and  taking 
down  his  answers  very  carefully.  Mr.  Titmouse  was  sur- 
prised at  the  gentleman's  knowledge  of  the  family  history 
of  the  Titmouses.  As  for  papers,  &c,  Mr.  Titmouse  suc- 
ceeded in  producing  four  or  five  old  letters  and  memo- 
randa from  the  bottom  of  his  trunk,  and  one  or  two  entries, 
in  faded  ink,  on  the  fly-leaf  of  a  Bible  of  his  father's,  which 
he  did  not  recollect  having  opened  before  for  very  many 
years,  and  of  which  said  entries,  till  pressed  on  the  sub- 
ject by  Mr.  Gammon,  he  had  been  hardly  aware  of  even 
the  existence.  With  these  several  documents  Mr.  Gam- 
mon was  so  much  struck  that  he  proposed  to  take  them 
away  with  him,  for  better  and  more  leisurely  examination, 
and  safer  custody,  at  their  office ;  but  Mr.  Titmouse  sig- 
nificantly hinted  at  his  very  recent  acquaintance  with  Mr. 
Gammon,  who,  he  intimated,  was  at  liberty  to  come  and 
make  exact  copies  of  them  whenever  he  pleased,  in  his 
(Mr.  Titmouse's)  presence. 


TEN    THOUSAND   A-YEAK.  39 

"  Oh,  certainly —  yes,"  replied  Mr.  Gammon,  slightly 
coloring  at  the  distrust  implied  by  this  observation ;  "I 
applaud  your  caution,  Mr.  Titmouse.  By  till  means  keep 
these  documents,  and  most  carefully;  because,  (I  do  not 

say  that  they  are,)  but  it  is  quite  possible  that  they  may 
become  rather  valuable  —  to  you." 

"  Thank  you,  sir  ;  and  now,  hoping  you  '11  excuse  the 
liberty."  said  Titmouse,  with  a  very  anxious  air,  "  I  should 
most  uncommonly  like  to  know  what  all  this  means  — 
what  is  to  turn  up  out  of  it  all1?" 

"The  law,  my  dear  sir,  is  proverbially  uncertain  " 

"  Oh,  Lord  !  but  the  law  can  surely  give  one  a  hint  " 

M  The  law  never  hints,"  interrupted  Mr-  Gammon,  im- 
sively,  with  a  bland  smile. 

•Well  then,  how  did  you  come,  sir,  to  know  that 
there  ever  was  such  a  person  as  Mr.  Gabriel  Titmouse, 
my  father  ?  And  what  can  come  from  him,  seeing  he 
was  only  a  bit  of  a  shoemaker  —  unless  he's  heir  to 
something  ? " 

"  Ah,  yes  —  exactly  ;  those  are  very  interesting  ques- 
tions, Mr.  Titmouse  —  very  !  " 

"  Yes,  sir ;  and  them  and  many  more  I  was  going  to 
ask  long  ago,  but  I  saw  you  were" 

"  Sir,  I  perceive  that  we  have  positively  been  absent 
from  your  place  of  business  nearly  an  hour  —  your  em- 
ployers will  be  getting  rather  impatient." 

'•Meaning  no  offence,  sir  —  bother  their  impatience! 
I'm  impatient,  I  assure  you,  to  know  what  all  this 
means.  Come,  sir,  'pon  my  life  I  've  told  you  every- 
thing!     It  isn't  quite  fair!" 

"  Why,  certainly,  you  see,  Mr.  Titmouse,"  said  Gam- 
mon, with  an  agreeable  smile  —  (it  was  that  smile  of  his 
which  had  been  the  making  of  Mr.  Gammon)  —  "  it  is  only 
candid  in  me  to  acknowledge  that  your  curiosity  is  per- 
fectly reasonable,  and  your  frankness  very  obliging;  and 


40  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

I  see  no  difficulty  in  admitting  at  once,  that  /  have  had 
a  —  motive  " 

"  Yes,  sir  —  and  all  that  —  /  know,  sir,"  —  hastily  inter- 
rupted Titmouse,  but  without  irritating  or  disturbing  the 
placid  speaker. 

"  And  that  we  waited  with  some  anxiety  for  the  result 
of  our  advertisement." 

"  Ah,  you  can't  escape  from  that,  you  know,  sir  !  "  inter- 
posed Titmouse,  with  a  confident  air. 

"  But  it  is  a  maxim  with  us,  my  dear  sir,  never  to  be 
premature  in  anything,  especially  when  it  may  be  —  very 
prejudicial ;  you  've  really  no  idea,  my  dear  Mr.  Titmouse, 
of  the  world  of  mischief  that  is  often  done  by  precipi- 
tancy in  legal  matters  ;  and  in  the  present  stage  of  the 
business  —  the  present  stage,  my  dear  sir  —  I  really  do 
see  it  necessary  not  to  —  do  anything  premature,  and 
without  consulting  my  partners." 

"  Lord,  sir !  "  exclaimed  Titmouse,  getting  more  and 
more  irritated  and  impatient  as  he  reflected  on  the  length 
of  his  absence  from  Tag-rag  &  Co.'s. 

"  I  quite  feel  for  your  anxiety  —  so  perfectly  nat- 
ural " 

"  Oh,  dear  sir !  if  you  'd  only  tell  me  the  least  bit " 

"  If,  my  dear  sir,  I  were  to  disclose  just  now  the  ex- 
act object  we  had  in  inserting  that  advertisement  in  the 
papers  ;' 

"  How  did  you  come  to  know  of  it  at  all,  sir1?  Come, 
there  can't  be  any  harm  in  that  anyhow  " 

"  Not  the  least,  my  dear  sir.  It  was  in  the  course  of 
business  —  in  the  course  of  business." 

"  Is  it  money  that 's  been  left  me  —  or  —  anything  of 
that  sorU" 

"It  quite  pains  me,  I  assure  you,  Mr.  Titmouse,  to 
suppose  that  our  having  put  this  advertisement  into  the 
papers  may  have  misled  you,  and  excited  false  hopes  — 


TEN   THOUSAND    A-YEAK.  41 

I  think,  by  the  way" —  added  Gammon,  suddenly,  as 
something  occurred  to  him  of  their  previous  conversation, 

whioh  lie  was  not  quite  sure  of — "you  told  me  that  that 
Bible  had  been  given  you  by  your  father." 

uOh  yes,  sir!  yes  —  no  doubt  of  it ;  surely  that  can't 

signify,  seeing  he's  dead,  and  I'm  his  only  son?"  asked 
Titmouse,  quickly  and  eagerly. 

"Oh,  "t  is  only  a  circumstance  —  a  mere  circumstance; 
but  in  business,  you  know,  Mr.  Titmouse,  every  little 
helps  —  and  you  really,  by  the  way,  have  no  recollection 
of  your  mother,  Mr.  Titmouse'?" 

"  No,  sir,  I  said  so !  And  —  meaning  no  offence,  sir 
—  I  can't  abide  being  put  oft'  in  this  kind  of  way,  —  I 
must  own!  —  See  what  I  have  told  you  —  you've  told 
me  nothing  at  all.  I  hope  you  have  n't  been  only  mak- 
ing me  a  cat's-paw  ofl  'Pon  my  soul,  I  hate  being  made 
a  cat's-paw  of,  sir  !  " 

u  Good  heavens,  Mr.  Titmouse  !  how  can  you  imagine 
it  1  Matters  in  some  degree  connected  with  one  or  two 
former  members  of  your  family,  are  at  this  moment  the 
object  of  some  little  of  our  anxiety  " 

"Not  meaning  it  rudely,  sir — please  to  tell  me  at 
once,  plainly,  am  I  to  be  the  better  for  anything  you  're 
now  about,  or  was  that  advertisement,  all  fudge]" 

"  That  may  or  may  not  be,  sir,"  answered  Mr.  Gammon, 
in  the  same  imperturbable  manner,  drawing  on  his  gloves, 
and  rising  from  his  chair.  "  In  justice  to  yourself,  and 
r  parties  concerned  " 

"  Oh  !  is  anybody  to  share  in  it  1 "  exclaimed  Titmouse, 
alarmed  ly. 

"  I  am  sure,"  said  Gammon,  smiling,  "  that  you  will  give 
us  credit  for  consulting  your  best  interests,  if  they  should 
prove  to  be  in  any  degree  concerned  in  our  present  in- 
quiries !  AY~e  should,  in  that  event,  sincerely  desire  to 
advance  them.      But  —  it  is  really"  looking  at  his  watch, 


42  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

"upwards  of  an  hour  since  we  quitted  your  place  of 
business  —  I  fear  I  shall  get  into  disgrace  with  that 
respectable  gentleman,  your  employer.  Will  you  favor 
us  with  a  call  at  our  office  to-morrow  night,  when  the 
business  of  the  day  is  over1?  When  do  you  quit  at 
nightl" 

"About  half-past  nine  o'clock,  sir;  but  really  —  to- 
morrow night !     Could  n't  I  come  to-night,  sir  1 " 

"  Not  to-night,  I  fear,  my  dear  sir.  We  have  a  very 
important  engagement.  Let  us  say  to-morrow  night,  at 
a  quarter  past  ten  —  shall  we  say  that  hour1?"  inquired 
Mr.  Gammon,  with  an  imperative  smile. 

"Well,   sir,  if  not  before  —  yes  —  I'll  be  with   you. 

But    I   must   say " quoth   Titmouse,  with    a   sulky 

disconcerted  air. 

"Good-day,  Mr.  Titmouse,"  said  Mr.  Gammon  —  they 
were  by  this  time  in  Oxford  Street  again.  —  "  Good-day, 
my  dear  sir  —  good-day  —  to-morrow  night,  as  soon  after 
ten  as  possible  —  eh  1  Good-by." 

This  was  all  that  Mr.  Titmouse  could  get  out  of  Mr. 
Gammon,  who,  hailing  a  coach  off  the  stand  beside  them, 
got  in,  and  it  was  soon  making  its  way  eastward.  What 
a  miserable  mixture  of  doubts,  hopes,  and  fears,  had  he 
left  Titmouse  !  He  felt  as  if  he  were  a  squeezed  orange ; 
he  had  told  everything  he  knew  about  himself,  and  got 
nothing  in  return  out  of  the  smooth,  imperturbable,  im- 
penetrable Mr.  Gammon,  but  empty  civilities.  —  "  Lord, 
Lord  !  "  thought  Titmouse,  as  Mr.  Gammon's  coach  turned 
the  corner ;  "  what  would  I  give  to  know  half  about  it 
that  that  gent  knows  !  But  Mr.  Tag-rag  !  by  Jove  !  what 
will  he  say  1  It 's  struck  twelve.  I  've  been  more  than 
an  hour  away  —  and  he  gave  me  ten  minutes  !  Sha'n't 
I  catch  it  1 " 

And  he  did.  Almost  the  very  first  person  whom  he 
met,  on  entering  the  shop,  was  his  respected  employer; 


TEN    THOUSAND    A-YKAl;.  43 

Who^  plucking  his  watch  out  of  his  fob,  ami  looking  furi- 
ously at  it.  motioned  the  trembling  Titmouse  to  follow 
him  to  the  farther  end  of  the  long  shop,  where  there 
happened  to  he  then  no  customers. 

•'  [a  this  your  ten  minutes,  sir,  eht" 

••  I  am  sorry  " 

•  Where  may  yon  have  been,  sir,  all  this  while1?" 

"With  that  gentleman,  sir,  and  I  really  did  not 
know  " 

MYou  didn't  know,  sir!  "Who  cares  what  3-011  know, 
or  don't  know  I  Thi.<.  at  any  rate,  you  know  —  that  you 
ought  to  have  been  back  fifty-five  minutes  ago,  sir.  You 
do,  sir!  Is  n't  your  time  my  property,  sir'?  Don't  I  pay 
for  it.  sir  ?  An  hour  !  —  in  the  middle  of  the  day  !  I  've 
not  had  Biich  a  thing  happen  this  five  years  !  I  '11  stop  it 
out  of  y<>ur  salary,  sir." 

Titmouse  did  not  attempt  to  interrupt  him. 

"And  pray  what  have  you  been  gossiping  about,  sir,  in 
this  disgraceful  manner?" 

"Something  that  he  wanted  to  say  to  me,  sir." 

"You  low  puppy  !  —  do  you  suppose  I  don't  see  your 
impertinence  ?  I  insist,  sir,  on  knowing  what  all  this  gos- 
siping with  that  fellow  has  been  about  ]  " 

"Then  you  won't  know,  sir,  that's  flat!"  replied  Tit- 
mouse, doggedly;  returning  to  his  usual  station  behind 
the  counter. 

'/  ska'n'tff"  exclaimed  Mr.  Tag-rag,  almost  aghast 
at  the  presumption  of  his  inferior. 

'•  X",  sir,  you  ihcCrit  know  a  single  word  about  it." 
..t'n't  know  a  single  word  about  it!     Vastly  good, 
sir  ! !  —  Do  you  know  whom  you  're  talking  to,  sir]     Do 
you  really  know  in  whose  presence  you  are,  sir]  "  inquired 
Mr.  Tag-rag,  nearly  trembling  with  rage. 

"Mr.  Tag-rag,  I  presume,  of  the  firm  of  Tag-rag  and 
Co.,"  replied  Titmouse,  looking  him  full   in  t he  face.  — 


44  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAE. 

One  or  two  of  his  companions  near  him,  almost  turned 
pale  at  the  audacity  he  was  displaying. 

"  And  who  are  you,  sir,  that  dare  to  presume  to  bandy 
words  with  me,  sir?"  inquired  Tag-rag,  his  deeply  pitted 
face  having  turned  quite  white,  and  his  whole  body  quiv- 
ering with  rage. 

"  Tittlebat  Titmouse,  at  your  service,"  was  the  answer, 
in  a  glib  tone,  and  with  a  sufficiently  saucy  air;  for  Tit- 
mouse then  felt  that  he  had  passed  the  Rubicon. 

"You  heard  that,  I  hope?"  inquired  Tag-rag,  with 
forced  calmness,  of  a  pale-faced  young  man,  the  nearest 
to   him. 

"  Ye  —  es,  sir,"  was  the  meekly  reluctant  answer. 

"This  day  month  you  leave,  sir!"  said  Mr.  Tag-rag, 
solemnly  —  as  if  conscious  that  he  was  passing  a  sort  of 
sentence  of  death  upon  the  presumptuous  delinquent. 

«  Very  well,  Mr.  Tag-rag  —  anything  that  pleases  you 
pleases  your  humble  servant.  I  will  go  this  day  month, 
and  welcome  —  I've  long  wished  —  and  now,  p'r'aps,"  he 
added  significantly  —  "  it 's  rather  convenient  than  other- 


"  Then  you  sha'n't  leave,  sir,"  said  Tag-rag,  furiously. 

"  But  I  will,  sir.  You  Ve  given  me  warning ;  and,  if 
you  have  n't,  now  I  give  you  warning,"  replied  Titmouse  ; 
turning,  however,  very  pale,  and  experiencing  a  certain 
sudden  sinking  of  the  heart  —  for  this  was  a  serious  and 
most  unlooked-for  event,  and  for  a  while  put  out  of  his 
head  all  the  agitating  thoughts  of  the  last  few  hours. 
Poor  Titmouse  had  enough  to  bear —  what  with  the  deli- 
cate raillery  and  banter  of  his  refined  companions  for  the 
rest  of  the  day,  and  the  galling  tyranny  of  Mr.  Tag-rag, 
(who  dogged  him  about  all  day,  setting  him  about  the 
most  menial  and  troublesome  offices  he  could,  and  con- 
stantly saying  mortifying  things  to  him  before  customers,) 
and  the  state  of  miserable  suspense  in  which  Mr.  Gammon 


TEN   THOUSAND   A.-YEAB.  45 

had  thought  tit  to  leave  him  ;  1  Bay  that  Burely  all  this 

DOUgh  for  him  to  bear  without  having  to  encounter 
at  night,  as  he  did,  on  his  return  to  his  lodgings,  his  blus- 
tering landlady,  who  vowed  that  it*  she  sold  him  out  and 
out  she  would  he  put  off  no  longer  —  and  his  pertina- 
cious and  melancholy  tailor,  who,  with  sallow  unshaven 
face,  told  him  v{  live  children  at  home,  all  ill  of  the  small- 
pox, and  his  wife  in  an  hospital  —  and  he  implored  a  pay- 
ment on  account.  This  sufferer  succeeded  in  squeezing 
out  of  Titmouse  seven  shillings  on  account,  and  his  land- 
lady extorted  ten  ;  which  staved  off  a  distress  —  direful 
w«>rd  !  —  for  some  week  or  two  longer;  and  so  they  left 
him  in  the  possession  of  eight  shillings  or  so,  to  last  till 
next  quarter-day  —  six  weeks  off !  He  sighed  heavily, 
barred  his  door,  and  sat  down  opposite  his  little  table, 
on  which  was  nothing  but  a  solitary  thin  candle,  and  on 
which  his  eyes  rested  unconsciously,  till  the  stench  of  it, 
burning  right  down  into  the  socket,  roused  him  from  his 
wretched  revery.  Then  he  unlocked  his  box,  and  took 
out  his  Bible  and  the  papers  which  had  been  produced  to 
Mr.  Gammon,  and  gazed  at  them  with  intense  but  useless 
scrutiny.  Unable  to  conjecture  what  bearing  they  could 
have  upon  himself  or  his  fortunes,  he  hastily  replaced  them 
in  his  box,  threw  off  his  clothes,  and  flung  himself  on  his 
bed,  to  pass  a  far  more  dismal  night  than  he  had  known 
1'  r  y. 

He  ran  the  gantlet  at  Messrs.  Tag-rag  and  Co.'s  all 
Tuesday  as  he  had  done  on  the  day  preceding.  One 
should  have  supposed  that  when  his  companions  beheld 
him  persecuted  by  their  common  tyrant,  whom  they  all 
equally  hated,  they  would  have  made  common  cause  with 
their  suffering  companion,  or  at  all  events  given  no  coun- 
t/nance to  his  persecution  ;  yet  it  was  far  otherwise. 
Without  stopping  to  analyze  the  feeling  which  produced 
it,  (and  which  the  moderately  reflective  reader  may  easily 


46  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAK. 

analyze  for  himself  if  so  disposed,)  I  am  grieved  to  have 
to  say,  that  when  all  the  young  men  saw  that  Tag-rag- 
would  be  gratified  by  their  cutting  poor  Titmouse,  who, 
with  all  his  little  vanities,  fooleries,  and  even  selfishuess, 
had  never  personally  offended  or  injured  any  of  them  — 
they  did  cut  him  ;  and,  when  Tag-rag  observed  it,  his  mis- 
erable mind  was  unspeakably  gratified  with  what  they  had 
done  :  and  he  spoke  to  all  of  them  with  unusual  bland- 
ness ;  to  the  sinner,  Titmouse,  with  augmented  bitterness 
and  sternness. 


TEN   THOUSAND    A-YEAE.  17 


CHAPTER   II. 

A  few  minutes  after  ten  o'clock  that  night,  a  gentle  ring- 
.:  the  bell  of  Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon,  ami  Snap's 
office,  announced  the  arrival  of  poor  Titmouse.  The  door 
was  quickly  opened  by  a  very  fashionably  dressed  clerk, 
who  seemed  in  the  act  of  quitting  for  the  night. 

"Ah  —  Mr.  Titmouse,  I  presume]"  he  inquired,  with 
a  kind  of  deference  in  his  manner  to  which  Titmouse  had 
never  been  accustomed. 

"The  same,  sir  —  Tittlebat  Titmouse." 

"Oh!  allow  me,  sir,  to  .show  you  in  to  Messrs.  Quirk, 
Gammon,  and  Snap ;  I  know  they  're  expecting  to  see 
you.     It 's  not   often  they  're  here   so  late  !     Walk  in, 

sir  " With  this  he  led  the  way  to  an  inner  room, 

and  opening  a  green-baize  door  in  the  farther  side  of  it, 
announced  and  showed  in  Mr.  Titmouse,  and  left  him  — 
sufficiently  flustered.  Three  gentlemen  were  sitting  at  a 
large  table,  on  which  he  saw,  by  the  strong  but  circum- 
scribed light  of  two  shaded  candlesticks,  were  lying  a 
number  of  papers  and  parchments.  The  three  gen- 
tlemen rose  when  he  entered,  Mr.  Quirk  and  Mr.  Snap 
involuntarily  starting  on  first  catching  sight  of  tin-  fig- 
ure of  Titmouse  :  Mr.  Gammon  came  and  shook  hands 
with   him. 

"Mr.  Titmouse,"  said  he,  with  a  very  polite  air,  "let 
me  introduce  yon  to  Mr.  * v>uirk  " — (This  was  tin'  Beuior 
partner,  a  short,  stout  elderly  gentleman,  dr< — d  in 
black,  with  a  shining  bald  crown  fringed  with  white  hair, 


48  TEN   THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

and  sharp  black  eyes,  and  who  looked  very  earnestly,  nay, 
with  even  a  kind  of  dismay,  at  him)  —  "  and  Mr.  Snap  " 

—  (This  was  the  junior  partner,  having  recently  been 
promoted  to  be  such  after  ten  years'  service  in  the  office, 
as  managing  clerk :  he  was  about  thirty,  particularly  well 
dressed,  slight,  active,  and  with  a  face  like  a  terrier  —  so 
hard,  sharp,  and  wiry !)  Of  Mr.  Gammon  himself,  I  have 
already  given  the  reader  a  slight  notion.  He  appeared 
altogether  a  different  style  of  person  from  both  his  part- 
ners.    He  was  of  most  gentlemanly  person  and  bearing 

—  and  at  once  acute,  cautious,  and  insinuating  —  with  a 
certain  something  about  the  eye,  which  had  from  the  first 
made  Titmouse  feel  uneasy  on  looking  at  him. 

"  A  seat,  sir,"  said  Mr.  Quirk,  rising,  and  placing  a  chair 
for  him,  on  which  he  sat  down,  they  resuming  theirs. 

"  You  are  punctual,  Mr.  Titmouse  !  "  exclaimed  Mr. 
Gammon,  kindly ;  "more  so  than,  I  fear,  you  were  yes- 
terday, after  our  long  interview,  eh  1  Pray  what  did 
that  worthy  person,  Mr.  Eag-bag  —  or  whatever  his  name 
is. —  say  on  your  return  1 " 

"  Say,  gents  ? "  —  (he  tried  to  clear  his  throat,  for  he 
spoke  somewhat  more  thickly,  and  his  heart  beat  more 
perceptibly  than  usual)  —  "  Meaning  no  offence  —  I  'm 
ruined  by  it,  and  no  mistake." 

"  Ruined  !  I  'm  sorry  to  hear  it,"  interposed  Mr.  Gam- 
mon, with  a  concerned  air. 

"  I  am,  indeed,  sir.  Such  a  towering  rage  as  he  has 
been  in  ever  since ;  and  he  's  given  me  warning  to  go  on 
the  10th  of  next  month."  He  thought  he  observed  a 
faint  smile  flit  over  the  faces  of  all  three.  "  He  has, 
indeed ! " 

"Dear  me,  Mr.  Titmouse!  —  Did  he  allege  any  reason 
for  dismissing  you  1 "  keenly  inquired  Mr.  Quirk. 

"Yes,  sir" 

"  What  might  it  have  been  1 " 


TEX  THOUSAND  A-YEAB.  49 

••  Stopping  out  longer  than  I  was  allowed,  and  refusing 
to  toll  him  what  this  gentleman  and  1  had  boon  talking 
about." 

"Don't  think  that  '11  do;  sure  it  won't  !  "  briskly  ex- 
claimed Mr.  Snap  ;  u  no  just  cause  of  dismissal  that,"  and 
he  jumped  up,  whisked  down  a  book  from  the  shelves 
behind  him,  and  eagerly   turned  over  the  leaves. 

"•  Never  mind  that  nmv,  Mr.  Snap,"  said  Mr.  Quirk, 
rather  petulantly;  "surely  we  have  other  matters  to 
talk  about  to-night  !  " 

••  Asking  pardon,  sir,  but  I  think  it  does  matter  to  me, 
sir,"  interposed  Titmouse ;  "  for  on  the  10th  of  next 
month  I'm  a  beggar  —  being  next  door  to  it  now" 

••  Not  quite,  we  trust,"  said  Mr.  Gammon,  with  a 
gnant  smile. 

"  But  Mr.  Tag-rag  said  he  'd  make  me  as  good  as  one." 

'•  That  's  evidence  to  show  malice,"  again  eagerly  inter- 
I  Mr.  Snap,  who  was  a  second  time  tartly  rebutted 
by  Mr.  Quirk;  even  Mr.  Gammon  turning  towards  him 
with  a  surprised  —  "Really,  Mr.  Snap  !  " 

"So  Mr.  Tag-rag  said  he'd  make  you  a  beggar]"  in- 
quired Mr.  Quirk. 

"  He  vowed  he  would,  sir  !  —  He  did,  as  true  as  the 
1,  sir  !  " 

••  ifa,  ha,  ha  !"  laughed  Mr.  Quirk  and  Mr.  Gammon 
—  but  such  a  laugh!  —  not  careless  or  hearty,  but  sub- 
dued, and  with  a  dash  of  deference  in  it.  "Well — it 
perhaps  may  not  signify  much,  by  that  time;"  said  Mr. 
Quirk,  and  laughed  again,  followed  by  the  soft  laugh  of 
Mr.  Gammon,  and  a  kind  of  sharp  quick  sound,  like  a 
bark,  from  Mr.  Snap. 

••  But,  gents,  you'll  excuse  me  if  I  say  I  think  it  does 

signify   to   me,   and   a'n't   any  laughing  matter,   by   any 

:"  quoth   Titmouse,  earnestly,  and   coloring  with 

"  Without  being  rude,  I  'd  rather  come  to  busi- 

vol.  i.  —  -i 


50  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

ness,  if  there  's  any  to  be  done,  without  so  much  laughing 
at  one." 

"  Laughing  at  you  !  my  dear  sir,  —  no,  no  ! "  exclaimed 
all  three  in  a  breath  —  "  laughing  with  you,"  said  Mr. 
Quirk  !  —  "  By  the  time  you  mention,  you  may  per- 
haps be  able  to  laugh  at  Mr.  Eag-bag,  and  everybody  else, 
for" 

[  —  "  No  use  mincing  matters  1  "  he  whispered,  in  a 
low  tone,  to  Mr.  Gammon,  who  nodded,  but  in  apparently 
very  reluctant  acquiescence,  and  fixed  his  eyes  earnestly 
on  Titmouse.] 

"  I  really  think  we  are  warranted,  sir,  in  preparing  3^011 
to  expect  by  that  time  —  that  is,  you  will  understand,  sir, 
if  our  efforts  are  successful  in  your  behalf,  and  if  you 
yield  yourself  implicitly  in  all  things  to  our  guidance  — 
that  is  absolutely  essential  —  a  prospect  —  we  say  at  pres- 
ent, you  will  observe,  only  a  prospect  —  of  a  surprising 
and  splendid  change  in  your  circumstances  !  "  Titmouse 
began  to  tremble  violently,  his  heart  beat  rapidly,  and  his 
hands  were  bedewed  with  a  cold  moisture. 

"  I  hear,  gents,"  said  he,  thickly  ;  and  he  also  heard  a 
faint  ringing  in  his  ears. 

"  It 's  not  impossible,  sir,  in  plain  English,"  continued 
Mr.  Quirk,  himself  growing  a  little  excited  with  the  im- 
portant communication  which  trembled  on  the  tip  of  his 
tongue,  "  that  you  may  at  no  distant  time  (if  you  really 
turn  out  to  be  the  person  we  are  in  search  of)  be  put  into 
possession  of  an  estate  of  somewhere  about  Ten  Thousand 
a-year  " 


The  words  seemed  to  have  struck  Titmouse  blind  —  as 
he  saw  nothing  for  some  moments ;  then  everything  ap- 
peared to  be  swimming  around  him,  and  he  felt  a  sort  of 
faintness  or  sickness  stealing  over  him.  They  had  hardly 
been  prepared  for  their  communication's  affecting  their 
little  visitor  so  powerfully.     Mr.  Snap  hastened  out,  and 


TEN    THOUSAND    A-YEAli.  51 

in  again,  with  a  glass  of  water ;  and  the  earnest  attentions 
of  the  three  Boon  restored  Mr.  Titmouse  to  his  senses.  It 
was  a  good  while,  however,  before  he  could  appreciate 
the  little  conversation  which  they  now  and  then  addressed 
to  him,  or  estimate  the  full  importance  of  the  astound- 
ing intelligence  which  Mr.  Quirk  had  just  communicated, 
■•  B  g  pardon  —  but  may  I  make  free  to  ask  for  a  little 
brandy  and  cold  water,  gents  1  I  feel  all  over  in  a  kind 
of  tremble,"  said  he,  some  little  time  afterwards. 

•'Yes  —  by  all  means,  Mr.  Titmouse,"  replied  Air. 
Quirk  —  "Mr.  Snap,  will  you  be  kind  enough  to  order 
Betty  to  bring  in  a  glass  of  cold  brandy  and  water  from 
the  Jolly  Thieves,  next  door?"  —  Snap  shot  out,  gave 
the  order,  and  returned  in  a  trice.  The  old  woman  in 
a  few  minutes'  time  followed,  with  a  large  tumbler  of 
dark  brandy  and  water,  quite  hot,  for  which  Mr.  Gammon 
apologized,  but  Air.  Titmouse  said  he  preferred  it  so  — 
and  Boon  addressed  himself  to  the  inspiriting  mixture. 
It  quickly  manifested  its  influence,  reassuring  him  won- 
derfully. As  he  sat  sipping  it,  Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon, 
and  Snap  being  engaged  in  an  earnest  conversation,  of 
which  he  could  not  comprehend  a  word,  he  had  leisure  to 
look  about  him,  and  observed  that  there  was  lying  before 
them  a  large  sheet  of  paper,  at  which  they  all  of  them 
often  and  earnestly  looked,  filled  with  marks,  so  — 


"I 


I  I 


with  writing  at  the  ends  of  each  of  them,  and  round  and 
square  figures.  When  he  saw  them  all  bending  over 
and  scrutinizing  this  mysterious  object,  it  puzzled  him 
(and  many  a  better  head  than  his  has  a  pedigree  puzzled 

U.  OF  ILL,  LIB. 


52  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

before)  sorely,  and  he  began  to  suspect  it  was  a  sort  of 
conjuring  paper !  — 

"  I  hope,  gents,  that  paper  's  all  right  —  eh  ?  "  said  he, 
supported  by  the  brandy,  which  he  had  nearly  finished. 
They  turned  towards  him  with  a  smile  of  momentary 
surprise,  and  then  — 

"  We  hope  so  —  a  vast  deal  depends  on  it,"  said  Mr. 
Quirk,  looking  over  his  glasses  at  Titmouse.  Now  what 
he  had  hinted  at,  as  far  as  he  could  venture  to  do  so,  was 
a  thought  that  glanced  across  his  as  yet  unsettled  brain, 
that  there  might  have  been  invoked  more  than  mere 
earthly  assistance ;  but  he  prudently  pressed  the  matter 
no  farther  —  that  was  all  Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon,  and 
Snap's  look-out ;  he  had  been  no  party  to  anything  of 
the  sort,  nor  would  he  knowingly.  He  also  observed  the 
same  sheets  of  paper  written  all  over,  which  Mr.  Gammon 
had  filled  up  at  his  (Titmouse's)  room,  the  night  before ; 
and  several  new,  and  old-looking,  papers  and  parchments. 
Sometimes  they  addressed  questions  to  him,  but  found  it 
somewhat  difficult  to  keep  his  attention  up  to  anything 
that  was  said  to  him  for  the  wild  visions  which  were 
chasing  one  another  through  his  heated  brain ;  the  pas- 
sage of  which  said  visions  was  not  a  little  accelerated  by 
the  large  tumbler  of  brandy  and  water  which  he  had  just 
taken. 

"  Then,  in  point  of  fact,"  said  Mr.  Quirk,  as  Messrs. 
Gammon  and  Snap  simultaneously  sat  down,  after  having 
been  for  some  time  standing  poring  over  the  paper  before 
Mr.  Quirk.  "  This  Tittlebat  Titmouse's  title  must  have 
accrued  in  18 — .     That's  the  point  —  eh,  Gammon'?" 

"  Precisely  so,"  said  Mr.  Gammon,  calmly. 

"  To  be  sure,"  confidently  added  Snap ;  who  having 
devoted  himself  exclusively  all  his  life  to  the  sharpest 
practice  of  the  criminal  law,  knew  about  as  much  of  real 
property  law  as  a  snipe  —  but  it  would  not  have  done  to 


TEX  THOUSAND  A-YKAi:.  53 

appear  ignorant,  or  taking  no  part  in  the  matter,  in  the 
presence  of  the  heir-at-law,  ami  the  future  great  client 
of  the   House. 

"  Well,  Mr.  Titmouse,"  at  length  said  Mr.  Quirk,  with  a 
sort  of  grunt,  laying  aside  his  glasses —  "  if //<></  turn  out 
to  he  the  Titmouse  we  have  been  speaking  of,  you  are 
likely,  through  our  immense  exertions,  to  become  one 
of  the  luckiest  men  that  ever  lived  !  We  may  be  mis- 
taken, but  it  appears  to  us  that  we  shall  by  and  by  be 
able  t<>  put  you  into  possession  of  a  very  fine  estate  in 
Yorkshire,  worth  some  £10,000  or  £12,000  a-year  at 
the  least  ! " 

"  You  —  don't  —  say  —  so  !  "  exclaimed  Titmouse,  ele- 
vating his  hands  and  opening  his  eyes  with  amazement  — 
"  Oh,  gents,  I  do  believe  we  're  all  dreaming  !  Is  it  all 
true,  indeed  ?  " 

"It  is,  Mr.  Titmouse  —  and  we  are  very  proud  and 
happy  indeed  to  be  .the  honored  instruments  of  establish- 
ing your  rights,  my  dear  sir,"  said  Mr.  Gammon,  in  a 
most  impressive  manner. 

"Then  all  the  money  that's  been  spent  this  tenor 
twelve  years  has  been  my  money,  has  if?" 

"  If  we  are  right,  it  is  undoubtedly  as  you  say,"  an- 
swered Mr.  Quirk,  giving  a  quick  apprehensive  glance  at 
Mr.  Gammon, 

'•  Then  there  '11  be  a  jolly  reckoning  for  some  one, 
shortly  — eh?     My  stars  !  " 

"My  dear  Mr.  Titmouse,"  said  Mr.  Gammon,  gravely, 
'•'  you  have  no  more  than  a  just  regard  for  your  own 
interests.  There  will  be  a  reckoning,  and  a  very  terrible 
one  ere  long,  for  somebody  —  but  we've  a  vast  deal  to 
'^)  through,  and  a  vast  deal  of  money  to  be  spent,  before 
we  come  to  discuss  that  matter  !  Only  let  us  have  the 
kkable  happiness  of  seeing  you  once  fairly  in  pi  I- 
D  of  your  estates,  and   our  office    shall  know  no  )'■  -' 


54  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

till  you  have  got  all  you  may  be  entitled  to  —  even  to 
the  uttermost  farthing  !  " 

"  Oh,  never  fear  our  letting  them  rest ! "  said  Mr. 
Quirk,  judiciously  accommodating  himself  to  the  taste 
and  apprehension  of  his  excited  auditor — "Those  that 
must  give  up  the  goose,  must  give  up  the  giblets  also  — 
ha,  ha,  ha  ! "  Messrs.  Gammon  and  Snap  echoed  the 
laugh,  duly  tickled  with  the  joke  of  the  head  of  the 
firm. 

"  Ha,  ha,  ha !  "  laughed  Mr.  Titmouse,  immensely  ex- 
cited by  the  conjoint  influence  of  the  brandy,  and  the 
news  of  the  night ;  "  capital  !  capital  !  hurrah  !  Such 
goings  on  there  will  be  !  You  're  all  of  the  right  sort, 
gents,  I  see  !  Ton  my  life,  law  for  ever  !  There  's  noth- 
ing like  it !  Let 's  all  shake  hands,  gents  !  Come,  if  you 
please,  all  together !  all  friends  to-night ! "  And  the 
little  fellow  grasped  each  of  the  three  readily-proffered 
right  hands  of  Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon,  and  Snap,  with 
an  energy  that  was  likely  to  make  all  the  high  contract- 
ing parties  to  that  quadruple  alliance,  remember  its 
ratification. 

uAnd  is  it  all  a  ready-money  affair,  gents'?  —  or  rent, 
and  all  that  kind  of  thing  V  he  inquired,  after  many 
eloquent  expressions  of  delight. 

"  Why,  almost  entirely  the  latter,"  answered  Mr.  Quirk, 
"  except  the  accumulations." 

"  Then,  'pon  my  soul  —  I  'm  a  great  landlord,  am  1 1 " 

"Indeed,  my  dear  Mr.  Titmouse,  you  are  —  (that  is, 
unless  we  have  made  a  blunder  such  as  —  I  will  say  — 
our  house  is  not  often  in  the  habit  of  making)  —  and  have 
two  very  fine  houses,  one  in  town  and  the  other  in  the 
country." 

"  Capital !  delightful !  I  '11  live  in  both  of  them  — 
we  '11  have  such  goings  on  !  —  And  is  it  quite  up  to  the 
mark  of  £10,000  a-year?" 


TEX    THOUSAND   A-YEAli.  55 

••  We    really    entertain   no   doubt    at    present    that  it 


18 


"And  Buoh  as  that  I  can  spend  all  of  it,  every  year?" 
"Certainly  —  no    doubt    of   it  —  not    the    least.     The 
rents    are    paid   with   most    exemplary    punctuality  —  at 
least,"  added  Mr.   Gammon,  with  a  captivating,  an  irre- 
sistible smile,  and  taking  him  affectionately  by  the  hand 

—  '•  at  least  they  will  be,  as  soon  as  we  have  them  fairly 
in  our  management." 

"( >h,  you're  to  get  it  all  in  for  me,  are  you]"  he  in- 
quired briskly.  The  three  partners  bowed,  with  the 
most  deprecatingly-disinterested  air  in  the  world  ;  inti- 
mating that,  for  his  sake,  they  were  ready  to  take  upon 
themselves  even  that  troublesome  responsibility. 

•'Capital!  couldn't  be  better!  couldn't  be  better! 
Ah,  ha,  ha  —  you  've  catched  the  goose,  and  must  bring 
me  its  eggs.  Ah,  ha,  ha  !  a  touch  in  your  line,  old  gent !  " 
said  he,  slapping  Mr.  Quirk's  knee. 

"Ha,  ha,  ha!  excellent!  ah,  ha,  ha!"  laughed  the 
three  partners  at  the  wit  of  their  new  client.  Mr.  Tit- 
mouse joined  them,  and  snapped  his  fingers  in  the  air. 
Then  he  added  suddenly  — 

"Lord  —  by  the  way  —  I  've  just  thought  of  Tag-rag 
and  Company's  —  I  seem  as  if  I  had  n't  seen  or  heard  of 
those  gents  for  Lord  knows  how  long  !  Only  fancy  old 
lag-rag  making  me  a  beggar  on  the  10th  of  next  month 

—  ha,   ha,   ha  !  —  I   sha'n't    see  that    infernal   hole    any 
more,  anyhow  !  " 

["  There  !  "  whispered  Mr.  Gammon,  suddenly  and 
apprehensively,  in  the  ear  of  Mr.  Quirk,  "you  hear  that? 
A  little  wretch  !  "We  have  been  perfectly  insane  in  going 
so  far  already  with  him  !     Is  not  this  what  I  predicted  1 " 

—  "I  don't    care,"  said    Mr.   Quirk,  stubbornly.      "Who 

Hind  it  out,  Mr.   Gammon  1  and  who  's  to  be  at  the 
expense  and  responsibility]     Pshaw!     I  know  what  I'm 


56  TEN  THOUSAND   A-YEAE. 

about  —  /  HI  make  him  knuckle  down  —  never  fear  me  ! 
Caleb  Quirk  a'n't  a  man  to  be  trifled  with ! "] 

"  That,"  continued  Titmouse,  snapping  his  fingers  with 
an  air  of  defiance  —  "  for  Mr.  Tag-rag  !  That  for  Mother 
Squallop  —  Ah,  ha,  gents !  It  won't  do  to  go  back  to 
that  —  eugh  !  —  ehl  will  it1?  —  you  know  what  I  mean  ! 
Fancy  Mr.  Tittlebat  Titmouse  — or  Mr.  Tittlebat  Tit- 
mouse, Esquire  —  standing  behind  " 

The  partners  looked  rather  blank  at  this  unexpected 
sally. 

"  We  would  venture  to  suggest,  Mr.  Titmouse,"  said 
Mr.  Gammon,  seriously,  "  the  absolute  necessity  there  is 
for  everything  on  your  part,  and  our  parts,  to  go  on  as 
quietly  as  before,  for  a  little  time  to  come  :  to  be  safe 
and  successful,  my  dear  sir,  we  must  be  very  —  very 
secret" 

"  Oh,  I  see,  gents  !  T  see  ;  mum  —  mum 's  the  word,  for 
the  present !  But,  I  must  say,  if  there  is  any  one  whom  I 
want  to  hear  of  it,  sooner  than  another,  it 's  " 

"  Rag-bag  and  Co.,  I  suppose  !  ha,  ha,  ha  !  "  interrupted 
Mr.  Gammon,  his  partners  echoing  his  gentle  laugh. 

"Ha,  ha,  ha!  Cuss  the  cats  —  that's  it  —  ha,  ha, 
ha ! "  echoed  Mr.  Titmouse ;  who,  getting  up  out  of  his 
chair,  could  not  resist  capering  to  and  fro,  sticking  his 
hands  on  his  hips,  in  something  of  the  attitude  of  a 
hornpipe  dancer,  whistling  and  humming  by  turns, 
and  indulging  in  various  other  wild  antics. 

"And  now,  gents  —  excuse  me,  but,  to  do  a  bit  of  busi- 
ness —  when  am  I  to  begin  scattering  the  shiners,  eh  ?  " 
he  inquired,  interrupting  a  low-toned,  but  somewhat 
vehement  conversation,  between  the  two  senior  partners  ; 
while  Snap  sat  silently  eying  him  like  a  terrier  a  rat 
coming  within  his  reach  ! 

"  Oh,  of  course,  sir ! "  replied  Mr.  Gammon,  rather 
coldly,    "  very  —  considerable  —  delay   is    unavoidable. 


TEN   THOUSAND   A-YKAK.  57 

All  we  have  done,  as  yet,  is  to  discover  that,  as  far  as  we 

are  advised,  and  can  judge,  you  will  turn  out  to  be  the 
right  owner;  but  —  as  we've  already  intimated  —  very 
extensive  and  expensive  operations  must  be  immediately 
commenced,  before  you  can  be  put  into  possession. 
There  are  Borne  who  won't  he  persuaded  to  part  witli 
£10,000  a-yeur,  Mr.  Titmouse,  for  the  mere  asking!" 
added  Mr.  Gammon,  with   an  anxious  and   hitter  smile. 

'•  The  devil  there  are  !  JI7^  are  they  that  want  to  keep 
me  any  longer  out  of  what's  my  own'?  —  what's  justly 
mine  ?  Eh  1  I  want  to  know  !  Have  n't  they  kept  me 
out  long  enough  ?  —  hang  'em  !  Put  'em  in  prison  di- 
rectly —  don't  spare  'em  —  the  villains  !  " 

u  They  '11  probably,  ere  long,  find  their  way  in  that  di- 
i  —  for  how."  replied  Mr.  Quirk,  "he's  ever  to 
make  up,  poor  devil,  the  mesne  profits" 

"Mean   profits  1 — is  that   all   you   call   them,   gents] 

Ton  my  life,  it 's  rogue's  money  —  villain's  profits  !     So 

don't  spare  him  —  d  —  n  him  !  —  he  's  robbed  the  father- 

liich  I  am,  and  an  orphan.     Keep  me  out  of  what's 

mine,  indeed  !     Curse  me  if  he  shall,  though  !  " 

"My  dear  Mr.  Titmouse,"  said  Gammon,  very  gravely, 
"  we  are  getting  on  too  fast  —  dreadfully  too  fast.  It  will 
.never  do,  matters  of  such  immense  importance  as  these 
cannot  be  hurried  on,  or  talked  of,  in  this  way" 

"  I  like  that,  sir  !  —  I  do,  by  Jove  !  "  —  exclaimed  Tit- 
le, scornfully. 

•'  You   will  really,  if  you  go  on   in  this  wild  way,  .Mr. 

Titmouse,  make  us  regret  the  trouble  we  have  taken  in 

the  affair,  and  especially  the  promptness  with  which  we 

communicated  to  you  the  extent  of  your  possible 

:     ' 

"Beg  pardon,  I'm  sure,  gents,  but  mean  no  offence: 
am  monstrous  obliged  to  you  for  what  you  've  done  for  me 
—  but,  by  Jove,  it 's  taken  me  rather  a  back,  I  own,  to  hear 


58  TEN   THOUSAND   A- YEAR. 

that  I  'm  to  be  kept  so  long  out  of  it  all !  Why  can't 
you  offer  him,  whoever  he  is  that  has  my  property,  a 
slapping  sum  to  go  out  at  once  1  Gents,  1 11  own  to  you 
I  'm  most  uncommon  low  —  never  so  low  in  my  life  — 
devilish  low  !  Done  up,  and  yet  it  seems  a'n't  to  get 
what's  justly  mine!  What  am  I  to  do  in  the  mean- 
while 1     Consider  that,  gents  !  " 

"  You  are  rather  excited  just  now,  Mr.  Titmouse,"  said 
Mr.  Quirk,  seriously  ;  "  suppose  we  now  break  up,  and  re- 
sume our  conversation  to-morrow,  when  we  are  all  in 
better  and  calmer  trim  %  " 

"  No,  sir,  thanking  you  all  the  same  ;  but  I  think  we  'd 
better  go  on  with  it  now,"  replied  Titmouse,  impetuously. 
"  Do  you  think  I  can  stoop  to  go  back  to  that  nasty, 
beastly  shop,  and  stand  behind  that  odious  counter]  — 
I  'd  almost  as  lieve  go  to  the  gallows  !  " 

"  Our  decided  opinion,  Mr.  Titmouse,"  said  Mr.  Quirk, 
emphatically  —  his  other  partners  getting  graver  and 
graver  in  their  looks — "that  is,  if  our  opinion  is  wrorth 
offering  " 

"  That,  by  Jove  !  remains  to  be  seen,"  said  Titmouse, 
with  a  pettish  shake  of  the  head. 

"  Well,  such  as  it  is,  we  offer  it  you  ;  and  it  is,  that  for 
many  reasons  you  must  continue,  for  a  little  while  longer, 
in  your  present  situation  " 

"  What !  own  Tag-rag  for  my  master  —  and  I  worth 
£10,000  a-year?"  interrupted  Titmouse,  furiously. 

"  My  dear  sir,  you've  not  got  it  yet,"  said  Mr.  Quirk, 
with  a  very  bitter  smile. 

"Do  you  think  you  'd  have  told  me  what  you  have,  if 
you  were  n't  sure  that  I  should,  though  1  No,  no  !  you  've 
gone  too  far,  by  Jove  !  —  but  I  shall  burst,  I  shall !  Me 
to  go  on  as  before  !  —  they  use  me  worse  and  worse  every 
day.  Gents,  you'll  excuse  me  —  I  hope  you  will;  but 
business  is  business,  gents  —  it  is ;  and  if  you  won't  do 


TEN   THOUSAND    A-YKAK.  59 

mine,  I  must  look  out  for  them  that  will  —  'pon  my  soul, 
I  must,  and  "  —  If  Mr.  Titmouse  could  have  seen,  or  hav- 
ing Been,  appreciated,  the  looks  which  the  three  partners 
interchanged,  on  hearing  this  absurd,  ungrateful,  and  in- 
solent speech  of  his  —  the  expression  that  flitted  across 
their  shrewd  faces  ;  that  was,  of  intense  contempt  for  him, 
hardly  overmastered  and  concealed  by  a  vivid  perception 
of  their  own  interest,  which  was,  of  course,  to  manage)  to 
-     -he,  to  conciliate  him  ! 

How  the  reptile  propensities  of  his  mean  nature  had 
thriven  beneath  the  sudden  sunshine  of  unexpected  pros- 
perity !  —  See  already  his  selfishness,  truculence,  rapacity, 
in  full  play  ! 

"So,  gents."  said  he,  after  a  long  and  keen  expostula- 
tion with  them  on  the  same  subject,  "  I  'm  really  to  go 
row  morning  to  Tag-rag  and  Co.'s,  and  go  on  with 
the  cursed  life  I  led  there  to-day,  all  as  if  nothing  had 
happened  —  ha,   ha,  ha  !  —  I  do  so  like  that !  " 

"In  your  present  humor,  Mr.  Titmouse,  it  would  be 
in  vain  to  discuss  the  matter,"  said  Mr.  Quirk,  sternly. 
■  Again  I  tell  you  that  the  course  we  have  recommended 
is,  in  our  opinion,  the  proper  one ;  excuse  me  if  I  add, 
that  you  are  entirely  in  our  hands  —  and  if  I  ask  you  — 
what  can  you  do  but  adopt  our  advice  V 

"  Why,  hang  me  if  I  won't  employ  somebody  else  — 
that 's  flat  !  S'  elp  me,  Heaven,  I  will !  So,  good-night, 
:  you'll  find  that  Tittlebat  Titmouse  isn't  to  be 
trilled  with  !"  So  saying,  Mr.  Titmouse  clapped  his  hat 
"ii  his  head,  bounced  out  of  the  room,  and,  no  attempt 
a  made  to  stop  him,  he  was  in  the  street  in  a 
twinkling. 

Mr.  Gammon  gazed  at  Mr.  Quirk  with  a  look,  the  sig- 
nificance of  which  the  .astounded  old  gentleman  thoroughly 
understood  — 't  was  compounded  of  triumph,  reproach,  and 
apprehension. 


60  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAE. 

"  Did  you  ever  see  such  a  little  beast ! "  exclaimed  Mr. 
Quirk,  with  an  air  of  disgust,  turning  to  Mr.  Snap. 

"  Beggar  on  horseback  !  "  exclaimed  Snap,  with  a  bitter 
sneer. 

"  It  won't  do,  however,"  said  Mr.  Quirk,  with  a  most 
chagrined  and  apprehensive  air,  "  for  him  to  go  at  large 
in  his  present  frame  of  mind  —  he  may  ruin  the  thing 
altogether  " 

"As  good  as  £500  a-year  out  of  the  way  of  the  office," 
quoth  Snap. 

" It  cannot  be  helped  now"  said  Mr.  Gammon,  with  a 
sigh  of  vexation,  turning  to  Mr.  Quirk,  and  seizing  his  hat 
—  "he  must  be  managed  —  so  I  '11  go  after  him  instantly, 
and  bring  him  back  at  all  hazards ;  and  we  must  really 
try  and  do  something  for  him  in  the  meanwhile,  to  keep 
him  quiet  till  the  thing 's  brought  a  little  into  train."  So 
out  went  after  Titmouse,  Mr.  Gammon,  from  whose  lips 
dropped  persuasion  sweeter  than  honey ; 8  and  I  should 
not  be  surprised  if  he  were  to  succeed  in  bringing  back 
that  little  stubborn  piece  of  conceited  stupidity. 

As  soon  as  Mr.  Titmouse  heard  the  street  door  shut  after 
him  with  a  kind  of  bang,  he  snapped  his  fingers  once  or 
twice,  by  way  of  letting  off  a  little  of  the  inflammable  air 
that  was  in  him,  and  muttered,  "  Pretty  chaps  those,  upon 
my  soul  !  "  said  he,  disdainfully.  "  I  '11  expose  them  all  ! 
I  '11  apply  to  the  lord-mayor  —  they  're  a  pack  of  swin- 
dlers, they  are  !  This  is  the  way  they  treat  me,  who  've 
got  a  title  to  £10,000  a-year  !  To  be  sure"  —  He  stood 
still  for  a  moment  —  and  another  moment  —  and  an- 
other—  and  then  dismay  came  quickly  over  him;  for  the 
thought  suddenly  occurred  to  his  partially  obfuscated  in- 
tellect—  what  hold  had  he  got  on  Messrs.  Quirk,  Gam- 
mon, and  Snap  1  —  what  could  he  do  1  —  or  rather,  what 
had  he  done  1 

Ah  —  the  golden  vision  of  the  last  few  hours  was  fading 


TEX    THOUSAND    A-YKAK.  Gl 

away  momentarily,  like  a  dream  !     Each  second  of  his 

Jeep  and  rapid  reflection,  rendered  more  impetuous  his 
desire  and  determination  to  return  and  make  his  peace 
with  Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon,  and  Snap.      By  submission 

for  the  present,  lie  could  get  the  whip-hand  of  them  here- 
after !  He  was  in  the  act  of  turning  round  towards  the 
office,  when  Mr.  Gammon  gently  laid  his  hand  upon  the 
shoulder  of  his  repentant  client. 

'•  Mr.  Titmouse  !  my  dear  sir,"  said  Mr.  Gammon,  softly, 
11  what  is  the  matter  with  you?  How  could  we  so  misun- 
derstand each  other  I" 

Titmouse's  small  cunning  was  on  the  qui  vive,  and  he 
saw  and  followed  up  his  advantage.  "I  am  going,"  said 
he,  in  a  resolute  tone,  "  to  speak  to  some  one  else  in  the 
morn:    _. 

"Ah,  t<»  he  sure!"  replied  Mr.  Gammon,  with  a  smile 
of  utter  unconcern  —  '•  I  supposed  as  much  — 't  is  a  matter 
which  of  course,  however,  signifies  nothing  to  any  one  — 
hut  yourself.  You  will  take  any  steps,  my  dear  sir,  that 
occur  t<>  you,  and  act  as  you  may  be  advised  !  " 

"Monstrous  kind  of  you,  'pon  my  life  !  to  come  and 
give  me  such  good  advice  !  "  exclaimed  Titmouse,  with  a 
sneer  —  but  consciously  baffled. 

"  Oh,  don't  mention  it !  "  said  Gammon,  coolly  ;  "  I  came 
out  of  pure  good-nature,  to  assure  you  that  our  office,  not- 
withstanding what  has  passed,  entertains  not  the  slightest 
ial  ill  feeling  towards  you,  in  thus  throwing  off  our 
hands  a  fearfully  expensive,  and  most  harassing  enterprise 

—  which  we  have  feared  from  the  first  had  been  too  rashly 
undertaken  " 

"Hern!"  exclaimed  Titmouse,  involuntarily,  once  or 
twice. 

•  9  i  good-night,  Mr.  Titmouse — good-night !  God  bless 
you  !  and  think  hereafter  of  all  this  as  a  mere  idle  dream 

—  as  far  as  we  are  concerned!"     Mr.  Gammon,  in  the 


62  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

act  of  returning  to  the  door,  extended  his  hand  to  Mr. 
Titmouse,  whom  he  instantly  perceived  to  be  melting 
rapidly. 

"  Why,  sir,"  quoth  Titmouse,  with  a  mixture  of  em- 
barrassment and  alarm,  "if  I  thought  you  all  meant 
the  correct  thing  —  hem  !  I  say,  the  correct  thing  by 
me  —  I  should  n't  so  much  mind  a  little  disappointment 
for  the  time  ;  but  you  must  own,  Mr.  Gammon,  it  is 
very  hard  being  kept  out  of  one's  own  so  long  —  honor, 
now  !  is  n't  it  1 " 

"  True,  very  true,  Mr.  Titmouse.  Very  hard  it  is,  in- 
deed, to  bear,  and  we  all  felt  deeply  for  you,  and  would 
have  set  everything  in  train" 


Would  have  /oh  my  stars  !  " 


"  Yes,  my  dear  Mr.  Titmouse,  we  would  have  done  it, 
and  believed  we  could  have  brought  you  through  every 
difficulty  —  over  every  obstacle,  prodigious  though  they 
are,  and  almost  innumerable." 

"  Why  —  you  —  don't  —  hardly —  quite  —  mean  to  say 
you  've  given  it  all  up  1  —  What,  already  !  'Pon  my  life  ! 
Oh  Lord  ! "  exclaimed  Titmouse,  in  evident  trepidation. 

Mr.  Gammon  had  triumphed  over  Mr.  Titmouse! 
whom,  nothing  loath,  he  brought  back,  in  two  minutes' 
time,  into  the  room  which  Titmouse  had  just  before  so 
insolently  quitted.  Mr.  Quirk  and  Mr.  Snap  had  now 
their  parts  to  perform  in  the  little  scene  which  they 
had  determined  on  enacting.  They  were  in  the  act 
of  locking  up  desks  and  drawers,  evidently  on  the 
move,  and  received  Mr.  Titmouse  with  an  air  of  cold 
surprise. 

"  Mr.  Titmouse  again !  "  exclaimed  Mr.  Quirk,  taking 
his  gloves  out  of  his  hat.  "Back  again!  —  This,  sir,  is 
quite  an  unexpected  honor  !  " 

"Leave  anything  behind1?"  inquired  Mr.  Snap,  affect- 
ing to  look  about  him  —  " don't  see  anything" 


TEN   THOUSAND    A-YKAK.  63 

"Oh    no,   sir!     No,   sir!''    exclaimed   Titmouse,   with 

r  anxiety.     "  This  gent,  Mr.  Gammon,  and  I,  have 

made  it  all  up,  gents!     I  rm  not  angry  any  more  —  not 

the  least,  'pon  my  soul  I'm  not  —  and  quite  forgive  you 
—  and   no   mistake  !  " 

"A      v  .' —  '    Mr.    Titmouse!"    echoed    Mr. 

Quirk,  with  an  air  sternly  ironical.  "We  are  under 
great  obligations  to  you  for  your  forbearance!" 

'•  I  >h,  come,  gents  !  "  said  Titmouse,  more  and  more 
disturbed,  "I  was  too  warm,  I  dare  say,  and  —  and  —  I 
ask  your  pardon,  all  of  you,  gents  !  I  won't  say  another 
word  if  you'll  but  buckle  to  business  again  —  quite  ex- 
actly in  your  own  way  —  because  you  see" 

"It  'a  -rowing  very  late,"  said  Mr.  Quirk,  coldly,  and 
looking  at  his  watch ;  "  however,  after  what  you  have 
stid.  probably  at  some  future  time,  when  we've  leisure 
to  look  into  the  thing" 

Poor  Titmouse  was  near  dropping  on  his  knees,  in 
mingled  agony  and  fright. 

"  May  I  be  allowed  to  say,"  interposed  the  bland  voice 
of  Mr.  Gammon,  anxiously  addressing  himself  to  Mr. 
Quirk,  "  that  Mr.  Titmouse  a  few  minutes  ago  assured 
me,  outside  there,  that  if  you,  as  the  head  of  the  firm, 
could  only  be  persuaded  to  permit  our  house  to  take  up 
his  c  Q  " 

'•I  did  —  I  did  indeed,  gents!  so  help  me !"  in- 
terrupted Mr.  Titmouse,  eagerly  backing  with  an  oath 
the  ready  lie  of  Mr.   Gammon. 

Mr.  Quirk,  with  a  stern  countenance,  drew  his  hand 
to  his  chin  musingly,  and  stood  silently  for  a  few 
moments,  apparently   irresolute. 

"Well/'  said  he  at  length,  but  very  coldly,  "since  that 
is  so,  probably  wo  may  be  induced  to  resume  our  heavy 
labors  in  your  behalf;  and  if  you  will  favor  us  with  a  call 
to-morrow  night,  at  the  same  hour,  we  may  have,  by  that 


64  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

time,  made  up  our  minds  as  to  the  course  we  shall  think 
fit  to  adopt." 

"  Lord,  sir,  I  '11  be  here  as  the  clock  strikes,  and  as 
meek  as  a  mouse ;  and  pray,  have  it  all  your  own  way 
for  the  future,  gents  —  do  !  "  —  cried  Titmouse,  clasp- 
ing his  hands  together  on  his  breast. 

"  Good-night,  sir  —  good-night !  "  exclaimed  the  part- 
ners, stiffly  —  motioning  him  towards  the  door. 

"  Good-night,  gents  ! "  said  Titmouse,  bowing  very  low, 
and  feeling  himself  at  the  same  time  being  —  bowed  out! 
As  he  passed  out  of  the  room,  he  cast  a  lingering  look 
at  their  three  frigid  faces,  as  if  they  were  angels  sternly 
shutting  him  out  from  Paradise.  What  misery  was  his, 
as  he  walked  slowly  homeward,  with  much  the  same  feel- 
ings (now  that  the  fumes  of  the  brandy  had  somewhat 
evaporated,  and  the  reaction  of  excitement  was  coming 
on,  aggravated  by  a  recollection  of  the  desperate  check 
he  had  received)  as  those  of  a  sick  and  troubled  man, 
who,  suddenly  roused  out  of  a  delicious  dream,  drops  into 
wretched  reality,  as  it  were  out  of  a  fairyland,  which, 
with  all  its  dear  innumerable  delights,  is  melting  over- 
head into  thin  air  —  disappearing,  forever  ! 

Closet  Court  had  never  looked  so  odious  to  him  as  in 
did  on  his  return  from  this  memorable  interview.  Dread- 
fully distressed  and  harassed,  he  flung  himself  on  his  bed 
for  a  moment,  directly  he  had  shut  his  door,  intending 
presently  to  rise  and  undress ;  but  Sleep,  having  got 
him  prostrate,  secured  her  victory.  She  waved  her  black 
wand  over  him,  and  —  he  awoke  not  completely  till  about 
eight  o'clock  in  the  morning.  A  second  long-drawn  sigh 
was  preparing  to  follow  its  predecessor,  when  he  heard 
the  clock  strike  eight,  and  sprang  off  the  bed  in  a  fright ; 
for  he  ought  to  have  been  at  the  shop  an  hour  before. 
Dashing  a  little  water  into  his  face,  and  scarce  staying 
to  wipe  it  off,  he  ran  down-stairs,  through  the  court,  and 


TEN    THOUSAND    A-YEAK.  65 

along  the  street,  never  stopping  till  he  had  found  bis  way 
into  —  almost  the  very  arms  of  the  dreaded  Mr.  Tag-rag; 
who,  rarely  making  his  appearance  till  about  half-past 
nine,  bad.  as  the  deuce  would  have  it,  happened  to  come 
down  an  hour  and  a  half  earlier  than  usual  on  that  par- 
ticular morning,  the  only  one  out  of  several  hundreds  on 
which  Titmouse  had  been  more  than  ten  minutes  beyond 
his  time. 

••Yours  very  respectfully,  Mr.  Titmouse  —  Thomas 
kg!"  exclaimed  that  personage,  with  mock  solem- 
nity, bowing  formally  to  his  astounded  and  breathless 
shopman. 

"I  —  I  —  beg  your  pardon,  sir  ;  but  I  was  n't  very 
well,  and  overslept  myself,"  stammered  Titmouse. 

••  \e-ver  mind,  Mr.  Titmouse  !  ne-ver  mind  !  —  it  don't 
much  signify,  as  it  happens,"  interrupted  Mr.  Tag-rag,  bit- 
terly :  "you  've  just  got  an  hour  and  a  half  to  take  this 
piece  of  silk,  with  my  compliments,  to  Messrs.  Shuttle  and 
r.  in  Dirt  Street,  Spitalfields,  and  ask  them  if  they 
aren't  ashamed  to  send  it  to  a  West-end  house  like  mine; 
and  bring  back  a  better  piece  instead  of  it !     D  'ye  hear, 

"  Yes.   sir  —  but  —  am   I  to  go  before  my  breakfast, 

"  Did  I  say  a  word  about  breakfast,  sir  ?  You  heard 
my  orders,  sir  ;  you  can  attend  to  them  or  not,  Mr.  Tit- 
mouse,  as  you  please  !  " 

Off  trotted  Titmouse  instanter,  without  his  breakfast  ; 
and  so  Tag-rag  gained  one  object  he  had  had  in  view. 
Titmouse  found  this  rather  trying  :  a  four-mile  walk  be- 
fore him,  with  no  inconsiderable  load  under  his  arm  ; 
■reover,  had  nothing  to  eat  since  the  preceding 
evening,  when  he  had  partaken  of  a  delicate  repast  of 
thick  slices  of  bread,  Bmeared  slightly  over  with  some- 
what high-flavored  salt  butter,  and  moistened  with  a  most 
vml.  i.  —  5 


66  TEN   THOUSAND   A- YEAR. 

astringent  decoction  of  quasi  tea-leaves  sweetened  with 
brown  sugar,  and  discolored  with  sky-blue  milk.  He  had 
not  even  a  farthing  about  him  wherewith  to  buy  a  penny 
roll !  As  he  wTent  disconsolately  along,  so  many  doubts 
and  fears  buzzed  impetuously  about  him,  that  they  com- 
pletely darkened  his  little  soul,  and  bewildered  his  petty 
understanding.  Ten  Thousand  a- Year  !  —  it  could  never 
be  meant  for  the  like  of  him!  He  soon  worked  himself 
into  a  conviction  that  the  whole  thing  wras  infinitely  too 
good  to  be  true ;  the  affair  was  desperate ;  it  had  been 
all  moonshine  ;  for  some  cunning  purpose  or  another, 
Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon,  and  Snap,  had  been  —  ah,  here 
he  was  within  a  few  yards  of  their  residence,  the  scene  of 
last  night's  tragic  transactions  !  As  he  passed  Saffron 
Hill,  he  paused,  looked  up  towards  the*  blessed  abode, 

"  Where  centred  all  his  hopes  and  fears,"  — 

uttered  a  profound  sigh,  and  passed  slowly  on  towards 
Smithfield.  The  words  "  Quirk,  Gammon,  and  Snap" 
seemed  to  be  written  over  every  shop-window  which  he 
passed  —  their  images  filled  his  mind's  eye.  What  could 
they  be  at  1  They  had  been  all  very  polite  and  friendly 
at  first  —  and  of  their  own  seeking  :  but  he  had  affronted 
them.  How  coldly  and  proudly  they  had  parted  with 
him  over-night,  although  they  had  professed  themselves 
reconciled  to  him !  It  was  evident  that  they  would  stand 
no  nonsense  —  they  were  great  lawyers  ;  so  he  must  (if 
they  really  would  allow  him  to  see  them  again)  eat  hum- 
ble pie  cheerfully  till  he  had  got  all  that  they  had  to  give 
him.  How  he  dreaded  the  coming  night !  Perhaps  they 
intended  civilly  to  tell  him  that,  since  seeing  him,  they 
would  have  nothing  more  to  do  with  him  ;  they  would 
get  the  estate  for  themselves,  or  some  one  else  who  would 
be  more  manageable !  They  had  taken  care  to  tell  him 
nothing  at  all  about  the  nature  of  his  pretensions  to  this 


TEN    THOUSAND    A- YEAR.  G7 

grand  fortune.     Oh,  how  crafty  they  were  —  they  had  it. 

all  their  own  way!  —  But  what,  after  all,  had  he  really 
done  !  The  estates  were  his,  if  they  were  really  in  earn- 
est—  his  ami  do  one's  else  ;  and  why  should  he  be  kept 
out  of  them  at  their  will  and  pleasure?  Suppose  he 
were  to  say  he  would  give  them  all  he  was  entitled  to 
for  £20,000  down,  in  cash  ?  Oh  no  :  on  Becond  thoughts, 
that  would  be  <>nly  two  years'  income  !  But  on  the  other 
hand  —  he  dared  hardly  even  propose  it  to  his  thoughts  — 
still,  suppose  it  should  really  all  turn  out  true  !  Good- 
38  gracious  !  —  that  day  two  months  he  might  be  riding 
about  in  his  carriage  in  the  Parks,  and  poor  devils  look- 
ing on  at  /tun,  as  he  now  looked  on  all  those  who  now 
rode  there.  There  he  would  be,  holding  up  his  head 
with  the  best  of  them,  instead  of  slaving  as  he  was  that 
moment,  carrying  about  that  cursed  bundle  —  ough  !  how 
he  shrunk  with  disgust  as  he  changed  its  position,  to  re- 
lieve his  aching  right  arm  !  Why  was  his  mouth  to  be 
stopped  —  why  might  he  not  tell  his  shopmates  %  What 
would  he  not  give  for  the  luxury  of  telling  it  to  the  odious 
Tag-rag  I  If  he  were  to  do  so,  Mr.  Tag-rag,  he  was  sure, 
would  ask  him  to  dinner  the  very  next  Sunday,  at  his 
country  house  at  Clapham  !  —  Ah,  ha  !  —  Thoughts  such 
as  these  so  occupied  his  mind,  that  he  did  not  for  a  long 
while  observe  that  he  was  walking  at  a  rapid  rate  towards 
the  Mile-end  road,  having  left  Whitechapel  church  nearly 
half  a  mile  behind  him  !  The  possible  master  of  £10,000 
a-year  was  nearly  dropping  with  fatigue,  and  sudden  ap- 
prehension of  the  storm  he  should  have  to  encounter 
when  he  first  saw  Mr.  Tag-rag  after  so  unduly  prolonged 
an  absence  on  his  errand.  He  was  detained  for  a  cruel 
i  of  time  at  Messrs.  Shuttle  and  Weaver's;  who, 
not  having  the  exact  kind  of  silk  required  by  their  impe- 
rious customer  at  that  moment  on  their  premises,  had 
some  difficulty  in  obtaining  it,  after  having  sent  for  it  to 


68  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

one  or  two  neighboring  manufactories  ;  by  which  means  it 
came  to  pass  that  it  was  two  o'clock  before  Titmouse,  com- 
pletely exhausted,  had  returned  to  Tag-rag  and  Company's. 
The  gentlemen  of  the  shop  had  finished  their  dinners. 

"  Go  up-stairs  and  get  your  dinner,  sir  !  "  exclaimed 
Tag-rag,  sternly,  after  having  received  Messrs.  Shuttle  and 
Weaver's  obsequious  message  of  apologies  and  hopes. 

Titmouse  having  laid  down  his  heavy  bundle  on  the 
counter,  went  up-stairs  hungry  enough,  and  found  himself 
the  sole  occupant  of  the  long  close-smelling  room  in  which 
his  companions  had  been  recently  dining.  His  dinner 
was  presently  brought  to  him  by  a  slatternly  slipshod 
servant-girl.  It  was  in  an  uncovered  basin,  which  ap- 
peared to  contain  nothing  but  the  leavings  of  his  com- 
panions —  a  savory  intermixture  of  cold  potatoes,  broken 
meat,  (chiefly  bits  of  fat  and  gristle,)  a  little  hot  water 
having  been  thrown  over  it  to  make  it  appear  warm  and 
fresh  —  (faugh!)  His  plate  (with  a  small  pinch  of  salt 
upon  it)  had  not  been  cleaned  after  its  recent  use,  but  evi- 
dently only  hastily  smeared  over  with  a  greasy  towel,  as 
also  seemed  his  knife  and  fork,  which,  in  their  disgusting 
state,  he  was  fain  to  put  up  with  —  the  table-cloth  on 
which  he  might  have  wiped  them,  having  been  removed. 
A  hunch  of  bread  that  seemed  to  have  been  tossing  about 
in  the  pan  for  days,  and  half  a  pint  of  turbid  table-beer,, 
completed  the  fare  set  before  him ;  opposite  which  he  sat 
for  some  minutes,  too  much  occupied  with  his  reflections 
to  commence  his  repast.  He  was  in  the  act  of  scooping 
out  of  the  basin  some  of  its  inviting  contents,  when  — 
"  Titmouse ! "  exclaimed  the  voice  of  one  of  his  shop- 
mates,  peering  in  at  him  through  the  half-opened  door, 
"  Mr.  Tag-rag  wants  you  !  He  says  you  've  had  plenty  of 
time  to  finish  your  dinner  !  " 

"  Oh,  tell  him,  then,  I  'm  only  just  beginning  my  din- 
ner—  eugh!   such  as  it  is,"  replied  Titmouse,  sulkily. 


TEN    THOUSAND   A.-YEAB.  69 

In  a  few  minutes1  time  Mr.  Tag-rag  himself  entered  the 
room,  stuttering  with  fury  — ■"  How  much  longer,  sir,  may 
it  be  your  pleasure  to  Bpend  over  your  dinner,  eh  I" 

u  N  t  another  moment,  sir,"  answered  Titmouse,  look- 
in.:  with  unaffected  loathing  and  disgust  at  the  savory 
victuals  before  him  ;  "if  you'll  only  allow  me  a  few 
minutes  to  go  home  and  buy  a  penny  roll  instead  of  all 
this" 

••  Ve  —  ry  good,  sir!  Ve —  ry  parti  — cu  — larly  good, 
Mr.  Titmouse,"  replied  Tag-rag,  with  ill-subdued  rage  ; 
"anything  else  that  I  can  make  a /<<//<  memorandum  of 
—  against  the  day  of — your  leaving  usl" 

This  hint  of  twofold  terror,  i.  e.  of  withholding  on  the 
ground  of  misconduct  the  wretched  balance  of  salary 
which  might  be  then  due  to  him,  and  of  also  giving  him 
a  damning  character  —  dispelled  the  small  remains  of  Tit- 
mouse's appetite,  and  he  rose  to  return  to  the  shop,  in- 
voluntarily clutching  his  list  as  he  brushed  close  past  the 
tynmt  Tag-rag  on  the  stairs,  whom  he  would  have  been  de- 
lighted to  pitch  down  head-foremost.  If  he  had  done  so, 
none  of  his  fellow-slaves  below,  in  spite  of  their  present 
sycophancy  towards  Tag-rag,  would  have  shown  any  partic- 
ular alacrity  in  picking  up  their  common  oppressor.  Poor 
Tittlebat  resumed  his  old  situation  behind  the  counter; 
but  how  different  his  present,  from  his  former  air  and 
manner  !  With  his  pen  occasionally  peeping  pertly  out 
of  his  bushy  hair  over  his  right  ear,  and  his  yard-measure 
in  his  hand,  no  one,  till  the  previous  Monday  morning, 
had  been  more  cheerful,  smirking,  and  nimble  than  Tit- 
tlebat Titmouse:  alas,  how  chopfallen  now!  None  of 
mpanions  could  make  him  out.  or  guess  what  was 
in  the  wind  ;  so  they  very  justly  concluded  that  he  had 
been  d  mething  dreadfully  disgraceful,  the  extent  of 

which  was  known  I  i  I  ig-rag  and  himself  alone.  Their 
ind  banter  wore  giving  place  to  cold  distrustful  looks, 


70  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

which  were  far  more  trying  to  bear.  How  he  longed  to 
be  able  to  burst  upon  their  astounded  minds  with  the  pent- 
up  intelligence  that  was  silently  racking  and  splitting  his 
little  bosom  !  But  if  he  did  —  the  terrible  firm  of  Quirk, 
Gammon,  and  Snap  —  Oh  !  the  very  thought  of  them  glued 
his  lips  together.  There  was  one,  however,  of  whom  he 
might  surely  make  a  confidant  —  the  excellent  Huckaback, 
with  whom  he  had  had  no  opportunity  of  communicating 
since  Sunday  night.  That  gentleman  was  as  close  a  priso- 
ner at  the  establishment  of  Diaper  and  Sarsenet,  in  Tot- 
tenham-court Road,  as  Titmouse  at  Messrs.  Tag-rag's,  of 
which  said  establishment  he  was,  by  the  way,  quite  as  great 
an  ornament  as  Titmouse  of  Messrs.  Tag-rag's.  They  were 
of  about  the  same  height,  and  equals  in  vulgar  puppyism 
of  manners,  dress,  and  appearance ;  but  Titmouse  was 
certainly  the  better-looking.  With  equal  conceit  appar- 
ent in  their  faces,  that  of  Huckaback,  square,  flat,  and 
sallow,  had  an  expression  of  ineffable  impudence,  made  a 
lady  shudder,  and  a  gentleman  feel  a  tingling  sensation  in 
his  right  toe.  About  his  small  black  eyes  there  was  a  glim- 
mer of  low  cunning  ;  —  but  he  is  not  of  sufficient  impor- 
tance to  be  painted  any  further.  When  Titmouse  left 
the  shop  that  night,  a  little  after  nine,  he  hurried  to  his 
lodgings,  to  make  himself  as  imposing  in  his  appearance 
before  Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon,  and  Snap,  as  his  time 
and  means  would  admit  of.  Behold,  on  a  table  lay  a  let- 
ter from  Huckaback.  It  was  written  in  a  flourishing 
mercantile  hand ;    and  here  is  a  verbatim  copy  of  it : 

"Dear  Tit, 

"  Hope  you  are  well,  which  is  what  I  can  only  middling  say 
in  respect  of  me.  Such  a  row  with  my  governors  as  I  have  had 
to-day!  I  thought  that  as  I  had  been  in  the  House  near  upon 
Eighteen  Months  at  .£25  per  annum,  I  might  nat'rally  ask  for 
£30  a-year  (which  is  what  my  Predecessor  had.)  when,  would 
you  believe  it,  Mr.  Sharpeye  (who  is  going  to  be  taken  in  as  a 


TEN   THOUSAND   A-YE.Ui.  71 

Partner,)  to  whom  I  named  the  thing,  ria  up  in  rage  against 
me, and  I  were  had  up  into  the  counting-house,  where  both  the 
governors  was,  and  they  gave  it  me  in  such  a  way  that  you 

never  Baw  nor  heard  of;  but  it  was  n't  all  on  their  own  side,  as 
you  know  me  t<>,.  well  to  think  of.  You  would  have  thought 
I  had  been  a-going  to  rob  the  house.  They  said  I  was  most 
oudacious,  and  all  that,  and  ungrateful,  and  what  would  I  have 
next  ?  Mr.  Diaper  said  times  was  conic  to  such  a  pitch  !  !  since 
when  he  was  first  in  the  business,  for  salaries,  says  he,  is  ris  to 
doable,  and  not  half  the  work  done  that  was,  and  no  gratitude 
—  (cursed  old  curmudgeon  !)  He  said  if  I  left  them  just  now, 
I  might  whistle  for  a  character,  except  one  that  I  should  not 
like  ;  but  it'  he  don't  mind  I  '11  give  him  a  touch  of  law  about 
that  —  which  brings  me  to  what  happened  to-day  with  our  law- 

ritty,  the  people  at  Saffron  Hill,  whom  I  thought  I  would 
call  in  on  to-day,  being  near  the  neighborhood  with  some  light 

.  to  Bee  how  affairs  was  getting  on,  and  stir  them  up 
a  bit  "  — 

This  almost  took  Titmouse's  breath  away 


—  "  feeling  most  interested  on  your  account,  as  you  know,  dear 
Tit,  I  do.  I  said  J  wanted  to  speak  to  one  of  the  gentlemen  on 
business  of  wital  importance  ;  whereat  I  was  quickly  shown  into 
a  room  where  two  gents  was  sitting.  Having  put  down  my 
parcel  for  a  minute  on  the  table,  I  said  I  was  a  very  partie'lar 
friend  of  yours,  and  had  called  in  to  see  how  things  went  on 
about  tie:  advertisement  ;  whereat  you  never  saw  in  your  life 
how  -truck  they  looked,  and  stared  at  one  another  in  speechless 
silence,  till  they  said  to  me,  what  concerned  me  about  the  bu.-i- 
mething  of  that  nature,  but  in  such  a  way  that  ris 
a  rarje  in  me  directly,  all  for  your  sake,  (for  I  did  not  like  the 
:)  and  says  1,  I  said,  we  would  let  them  know 
ammoned;  whereat  up  rose  the  youngest  of 
the  two,  and  ringing  the  bell,  he  says  to  a  tight-laced  young  gen- 
tleman  with  a  pen  behind  hi-  ear,'  Show  this  fellow  to  the  door,' 
which  I  was  at  once  ;  but,  in  doing  so,  let  out  a  little  of  my 
mind  to  them.  They  're  no  better  than  they  Bhould  be,  you  see 
if  they  an- ;  but  when  we  touch  the  property,  we  Ml  -how  them 
who  i-  their  masters,  which  consoles  me.    Good-by,  keep  your 


72  TEN   THOUSAND   A.-YEAB. 

sperrits  up,  and  I  will  call  and  tell  you  more  about  it  on  Sun- 
day. So  farewell  (I  write  this  at  Mr.  Sharpeye's  desk,  who  is 
coming  down  from  dinner  directly,  the  beast !)  —  Your  true 
friend,  «  K.  Huckaback. 

"  P.  S.  —  Met  a  young  Jew  last  night  with  a  lot  of  prime 
cigars,  and  (knowing  he  must  have  stole  them — betwixt  you, 
and  I,  and  the  Post  —  they  looked  so  good  at  the  price,)  I 
bought  one  shilling's  worth  for  me,  and  two  shillings'  worth 
for  you,  your  salary  being  higher,  and.  to  say  nothing  of  your 
chances." 


All  that  part  of  the  foregoing  letter  which  related  to  its 
gifted  writer's  interview  with  Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon,  and 
Snap,  Titmouse  read  in  a  kind  of  spasm  —  he  could  not 
draw  a  breath,  and  felt  a  choking  sensation  coming  over 
him.  After  a  while,  "  I  may  spare  myself,"  thought  he, 
"the  trouble  of  rigging  out  —  Huckaback  has  done  my 
business  for  me  with  Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon,  and  Snap  ! 

—  Mine  will  only  be  a  walk  in  vain  ! "  And  this  cursed 
call  of  Huckaback's,  too,  to  have  happened  after  what  had 
occurred  last  night  between  Titmouse  and  them  !  !  and  so 
urgently  as  he  had  been  enjoined  to  keep  the  matter  to 
himself!  Of  course,  Huckaback  would  seem  to  have  been 
sent  by  him;  seeing  he  appeared  to  have  assumed  the 
hectoring  tone  which  Titmouse  had  tried  so  vainly  over- 
night, and  now  so  bitterly  repented  of;  and  he  had  no 
doubt  grossly  insulted  the  arbiters  of  Titmouse's  destiny, 
(for  he  knew  Huckaback's  impudence)  —  he  had  even  said 
that  he  (Titmouse)  would  not  be  gammoned  by  them  !  But 
time  was  pressing — the  experiment  must  be  made;  and 
with  a  beating  heart  he  scrambled  into  a  change  of  clothes 

—  bottling  up  his  wrath  against  the  unconscious  Hucka- 
back till  he  should  see  that  worthy.  In  a  miserable  state 
of  mind  he  set  off  soon  after  for  Saffron  Hill  at  a  quick 
pace,  which  soon  became  a  trot,  and  often  sharpened  into 


TEN    rHOUSAND    A-YKAK.  73 

B  downright  run.  He  saw,  heard,  and  thought  of  nothing, 
as  he  hurried  along  Oxford  Street  and  Holborn,  but  Quirk, 
Gammon,  Snap,  and  Huckaback,  and  the  reception  which 
the  last-mentioned  gentleman  might  have  secured  for  him 
—  if,  indeed,  he  was  to  be  received  at  all.  The  magical 
words,  Ten  Thousand  a-ytart  had  not  disappeared  from  the 
field  of  his  troubled  vision  ;  but  how  faintly  and  dimly  they 
shone  ! —  like  the  Pleiades  coldly  glistening  through  inter- 
vening mists  far  off — oh  !  at  what  a  stupendous,  immeas 
urable,  and  hopeless  distance  !  Imagine  those  stars  gazed 
at  by  the  anguished  and  despairing  eyes  of  the  bereaved 
lover,  madly  believing  one  of  them  to  contain  her  who 
has  just  departed  from  his  arms,  and  from  this  world,  and 
you  may  form  a  notion  of  the  agonizing  feelings  —  the 
absorbed  contemplation  of  one  dear,  dazzling,  but  distant 
object,  experienced  on  this  occasion  by  Mr.  Titmouse.  No, 
DO]  I  don't  mean  seriously  to  pretend  that  so  grand  a 
thought  as  this  could  be  entertained  by  his  little  optics 
intellectual ;  you  might  as  well  suppose  the  tiny  eye  of  a 
black  beetle  to  be  scanning  the  vague,  fanciful,  and  mys- 
terious figure  and  proportions  of  Orion,  or  a  kangaroo  to 
be  perusiug  and  pondering  over  the  immortal  Princijria. 
I  repeat,  that  I  have  no  desire  of  the  sort,  and  am  deter- 
mined not  again  foolishly  to  attempt  fine  writing,  which  I 
now  perceive  to  be  entirely  out  of  my  line.  In  language 
more  befitting  me  and  my  subject,  I  may  be  allowed  to 
say  that  there  is  no  getting  the  contents  of  a  quart  into 
a  pint  pot;  that  Titmouse's  mind  was  a  half-pint — and 
it  was  brim-full.  All  the  while  that  I  have  been  going  on 
thus,  however,  Titmouse  was  hurrying  down  Holborn  at 
a  rattling  rate.  When  at  length  he  had  reached  Saffron 
Hill,  he  was  in  a  bath  of  perspiration.  His  face  was  quite 
redj  he  breathed  hard  ;  his  heart  beat  violently;  he  had 
Stitch  in  his  side  ;  and  he  could  not  get  his  gloves  on 
his  hot  and  swollen  hands.      He  stood  for  a  moment  with 


74  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

his  hat  off,  wiping  his  reeking  forehead,  and  endeavoring 
to  recover  himself  a  little,  before  entering  the  dreaded 
presence  to  which  he  had  been  hastening.  He  even  fan- 
cied for  a  moment  that  his  eyes  gave  out  sparks  of  light 
While  thus  pausing,  St.  Andrew's  Church  struck  ten,  half 
electrifying  Titmouse,  who  bolted  up  Saffron  Hill,  and 
was  soon  standing  opposite  the  door.  How  the  sight  of 
it  smote  him,  as  it  reminded  him  of  the  way  in  which,  on 
the  preceding  night,  he  had  bounced  out  of  it !  But  that 
could  not  now  be  helped  ;  so  ring  went  the  bell ;  as  softly, 
however,  as  he  could  ;  for  he  recollected  that  it  was  a  very 
loud  bell,  and  he  did  not  wish  to  offend.  He  stood  for 
some  time,  and  nobody  answered.  He  waited  for  nearly 
two  minutes,  and  trembled,  assailed  by  a  thousand  vague 
fears.  He  might  not,  however,  have  rung  loudly  enough 
—  so  —  again,  a,  little  louder,  did  he  venture  to  ring. 
Again  he  waited.  There  seemed  something  threatening 
in  the  great  brass  plate  on  the  door,  out  of  which  "  Quirk, 
Gammon,  and  Snap  "  appeared  to  look  at  him  ominously. 
While  he  thought  of  it,  by  the  way,  there  was  something 
very  serious  and  stern  in  all  their  faces  —  he  wondered 
that  he  had  not  noticed  it  before.  What  a  drunken  beast 
he  had  been  to  go  on  in  their  presence  as  he  had  !  thought 
he ;  then  Huckaback's  image  flitted  across  his  disturbed 
fancy.  "  Ah  !  "  thought  he,  "  that 's  the  thing  !  —  that  ?s 
it,  depend  Upon  it :  this  door  will  never  be  opened  to  me 
again  —  he  's  done  for  me  !  "  He  breathed  faster,  clinched 
his  fist,  and  involuntarily  raised  it  in  a  menacing  way,  when 
he  heard  himself  addressed  —  "  Oh  !  dear  me,  sir,  I  hope  I 
have  n't  kept  you  waiting,"  said  the  old  woman  whom  he 
had  before  seen,  fumbling  in  her  pocket  for  the  door-key. 
She  had  been  evidently  out  shopping,  having  a  plate  in 
her  left  hand,  over  which  her  apron  was  partially  thrown. 
"  Hope  you  've  not  been  ringing  long,  sir  !  " 

"  Oh  dear!  no  ma'am,"  replied  Titmouse,  with  anxious 


TEX    THOUSAND    A-YKAU.  75 

civility,  and  a  truly  miserable  smile  —  "Afraid  I  may 
have  kept  them  waiting,"  he  added,  almost  dreading  to 
hear  the  answer. 

••  I  »h  no,  sir.  not  at  all  —  they  've  all  been  gone  since  a 
little  after  nine  ;  hut  there's  a  letter  I  was  to  give  you  !" 
She  opened  the  door;  Titmouse  nearly  dropping  with 
fright.  "  1*11  get  it  tor  you,  sir  —  let  me  Bee,  where  did 
I  put  it  ]  —  Oh,  in  the  clerk's  room,  I  think."  Titmouse 
followed  her  in.  "  I  >ear  me  —  where  can  it  be  1 "  she  con- 
tinued, peering  about,  and  then  snuffing  the  long  wick  of 
the  candle,  which  she  had  left  burning  for  the  last  quarter 
of  an  hour,  during  her  absence.  "  I  hope  none  of  the 
clerks  has  put  it  away  in  mistake  !  Well,  it  is  n't  here, 
anyhow." 

M Perhaps,  ma'am,  it's  in  their  om;.  room,"  suggested 
Titmouse,  in  a  faint  tone. 

"  oh.  pVaps  it  is  ! "  she  replied.  "  We  '11  go  and  see" 
—  ami  she  Led  the  way,  followed  closely  by  Titmouse,  who 
caught  his  breath  spasmodically  as  he  passed  the  green- 
baize  door.  Yes,  there  was  the  room  —  the  scene  of  last 
night  was  transacted  there,  and  came  crowding  over  his 
recollection  —  there  was  the  green-shaded  candlestick  — 
the  table  covered  with  papers  —  an  arm-chair  near  it,  in 
which,  probably,  Mr.  Quirk  had  been  sitting  only  an  hour 
to  write  the  letter  they  were  now  in  quest  of,  and 
which  might  be  to  forbid  him  their  presence  forever! 
How  dreary  and  deserted  the  room  looked,  thought  he  as 
he  peered  about  it  in  search  of  the  dreaded  letter  ! 

••  Oh,  here  it  is  !  —  well,  I  never  !  —  who  could  have 
put  it  here,  now  1  I  'in  sure  I  did  n't.  Let  nie  see  —  it 
DO  doubt"  —  said  the  old  woman,  holding  the  letter 
in  one  hand  ami  putting  the  other  to  her  head. 

"  Never  mind,   ma'am,''  said  Titmouse,  stretching  his 

hand   towards  her — "now   we've    trot  it,  it  don't    much 

.''      She  gave  it  to  him.     "  Seem  particularly  mix- 


76  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

ions  for  me  to  get  it  —  did  they,  ma'am  ?  "  he  inquired, 
with  a  strong  effort  to  appear  unconcerned  —  the  dreaded 
letter  quite  quivering,  the  while,  in  his  fingers. 

"  No,  sir — Mr.  Quirk  only  said  I  was  to  give  it  you 
when  you  called.  B'lieve  they  sent  it  to  you,  but  the 
clerk  said  he  could  n't  find  your  place  out ;  by  the  way, 
(excuse  me,  sir,)  but  yours  is  a  funny  name  !  How  I 
heard  'em  laughing  at  it,  to  be  sure  !  What  makes  peo- 
ple give  such. queer  names?  Would  you  like  to  read  it 
here,    sir '?  —  you  're  welcome." 

"No,  thank  you,  ma'am  —  it 's  of  not  the  least  conse- 
quence," he  replied,  with  a  desperate  air ;  and  tossing  it 
with  attempted  carelessness  into  his  hat,  which  he  put 
on  his  head,  he  very  civilly  wished  her  good-night,  and 
departed  —  very  nearly  inclined  to  sickness,  or  faintness, 
or  something  of  the  sort,  which  the  fresh  air  might 
perhaps  dispel.  He  quickly  espied  a  lamp  at  a  corner, 
which  promised  to  afford  him  an  uninterrupted  oppor- 
tunity of  inspecting  his  letter.  He  took  it  out  of  his 
hat.  It  was  addressed  —  simply,  "  Mr.  Titmouse,  Cocking 
Court,  Oxford  Street,"  (which  accounted,  perhaps,  for  the 
clerk's  having  been  unable  to  find  it ;)  and  having  been 
opened  with  trembling  eagerness,  thus  it  read  :  — 

"Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon,  and  Snap,  present  their  com- 
pliments to  Mr.  Titmouse,  and  are  anxious  to  save  him 
the  trouble  of  his  intended  visit  this  evening. 

"  They  exceedingly  regret  that  obstacles  (which  it  is  to  be 
hoped,  however,  may  not  prove  ultimately  insurmountable) 
exist  in  the  way  of  their  prosecuting  their  intended  inqui- 
ries on  behalf  of  Mr.  Titmouse. 

"  Since  their  last  night's  interview  with  him,  circumstances, 
which  they  could  not  have  foreseen,  and  over  which  they  have 
no  control,  have  occurred,  wThich  render  it  unnecessary  for  Mr. 
T.  to  give  himself  any  more  anxiety  in  the  affair  —  at  least, 
not  until  he  shall  have  heard  from  Messrs.  Q.  G.  and  S. 


TEN   THOUSAND   A-YI'AK.  77 

M  If  anything  of  Importance  thotUd  hereafter  transpire,  it  is 
not  improbable  that  Mr.  T.  may  hear  from  them. 

"They  were  favored,  this  afternoon,  with  a  visit  from  Mr. 
T.'a  friend  — a  Mr.  Hiukh-hottom." 

Hill,  Wedmaday  Evening,  Vlth  July  18—." 

When   poor  Titmouse  had   finished   reading  over  this 
vague,  frigid,  and  disheartening  note  a  second  time,  a 
convulsive  sob  or  two  pierced  his  bosom,  indicative  of  its 
.    indeed  swollen  with  sorrow  ;  and  at  length,  over- 
by  his  feelings,  he  cried  bitterly  —  not  checked  even 
by  the  occasional  exclamations  of  one  or  two  passers-by. 
He  could  not  at  all   control   himself.     He  felt  as  if  he 
could  have  almost  relieved  himself,  by  banging  his  head 
st  the  wall !     A  tumultuous  feeling  of  mingled  grief 
and  despair  prevented  his  thoughts,  for  a  long  while,  from 
settling  "ii  any  one  idea  or  object.     At  length,  when  the 
violence  of  the  storm  had  somewhat  abated,  on  conclud- 
third  perusal  of  the  death-warrant  to  all  his  hopes, 
which  he  hold  in  his  hand,  his  eye  lit  upon  the  strange 
w.-rd  which  was  intended  to  designate  his  friend  Hucka- 
baek  ;  and  it  instantly  changed  both  the  kind  of  his  feel- 
aid  the  current  in  which  they  had  been  rushing. 
Grief  became   rage  ;  and   the  stream   foamed   in   quite  a 
new  direction  —  namely,  towards  Huckaback.     That  ac- 
cursed fellow  he  considered  to  be  the  sole  cause  of  the 
direful  disaster  which  had  befallen  him.     He  utterly  lost 
>f  one  circumstance,  which  one  might  have  imagined 
likely  to  have  occurred  to  his  thoughts  at  such  a  time  — 
viz.  his  own  offensive  ami  insolent  behavior  over-night  to 
.irk,  Gammon,  and  Snap.     Yet  so  it  was  : — yes, 
upon  the  devoted  (but  unconscious)  head  of  Huckaback, 
Jitning  rage  of  Tittlebat  Titmouse  doomed  to 
.1.      The  tire  that  was  thus  quickly  kindled  within, 
dried    up   the   source  of  his  tears.     He  crammed 
the  letter  into  his  pocket,  and  started  off  at  once  in  the 


78  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAK. 

direction  of  Leicester  Square,  breathing  rage  at  every 
step  —  viresque  acquirens  eundo.  His  hands  kept  con- 
vulsively clinching  together  as  he  pelted  along.  Hot- 
ter and  hotter  became  his  rage  as  he  neared  the  residence 
of  Huckaback.  When  he  had  reached  it,  he  sprang  up- 
stairs ;  knocked  at  his  quondam  friend's  door ;  and  on  the 
instant  of  its  being  —  doubtless  somewhat  surprisedly  — 
opened  by  Huckaback,  who  was  undressing,  Titmouse 
sprang  towards  him,  let  fly  a  goodly  number  of  violent 
blows  upon  his  face  and  breast  —  and  down  fell  Hucka- 
back upon  the  bed  behind  him,  insensible,  and  bleeding 
profusely  from  his  nose. 

"  There  !  there  !  "  —  gasped  Titmouse,  breathless  and 
exhausted,  discharging  a  volley  of  oaths  and  opprobrious 
epithets  at  the  victim  of  his  fury.  "Do  it  again  !  You 
will,  won't  you  %     You  HI  go  —  and  meddle  again  in  other 

people's  —  you cu-cu-cursed  officious  "  —  but  his  rage 

was  'spent  —  the  paroxysm  was  over ;  the  silent  and 
bleeding  figure  of  Huckaback  was  before  his  eyes ;  and 
he  gazed  at  him,  terror-stricken."  What  had  he  done  ! 
He  sank  down  on  the  bed  beside  Huckaback  —  then 
started  up,  wringing  his  hands,  and  staring  at  him  in  an 
ecstasy  of  remorse  and  fright.  It  was  rather  singular 
that  the  noise  of  such  an  assault  should  have  roused  no 
one  to  inquire  into  it ;  but  so  it  was.  Frightened  almost 
out  of  his  bewildered  senses,  he  closed  and  bolted  the 
door ;  and  addressed  himself,  as  well  as  he  was  able,  to 
the  recovering  of  Huckaback.  After  propping  him  up, 
and  splashing  cold  water  into  his  face,  Titmouse  at  length 
discovered  symptoms  of  restoration  to  consciousness,  which 
he  anxiously  endeavored  to  accelerate,  by  putting  to  the 
lips  of  the  slowly-reviving  victim  of  his  violence  some 
cold  water,  in  a  tea-cup.  He  swallowed  a  little  ;  and  soon 
afterwards,  opening  his  eyes,  stared  on  Titmouse  with  a 
dull  eye  and  bewildered  air. 


TEN    THOUSAND   A-YEA1I.  79 

"What's  been  the  matter?"  at  length  he  faintly 
inquired. 

"Oh,  Hncky!  so  glad  to  hear  you  speak  again.  It's 
I  —  I — Titty!  I  did  it!  Strike  me,  Hucky,  as  soon 
a  're  well  enough  !  Do  —  kick  me  —  anything  you 
choose!  I  won't  hinder  you!"  cried  Titmouse,  sinking 
on  his  knees,  and  clasping  his  hands  together,  as  he 
perceived   Huckaback  rapidly  reviving. 

"Why,  what  M  the  matter?"  repeated  that  gentleman, 
with  a  wondering  air,  raising  his  hand  to  his  nose,  from 
which  the  blood  was  still  trickling.  The  fact  is,  that  he 
had  lost  1.  .  probably  from  the  suddenness,  rather 

than  the  violence  of  the  injuries  which  he  had  received. 

'*  I  did  it  all  —  yes,  I  did  !"  continued  Titmouse,  gaz- 
ing on  him  with  a  look  of  agony  and  remorse. 

••  Why.  I  can't  he  awake  —  I  can't  !  "  said  Huckaback, 
rubbing  his  eyes,  and  then  staring  at  his  wet  and  blood- 
stained shirt-front  and  hands. 

"  Oh  yes,  you  are  —  you  are  !  "  groaned  Titmouse  ; 
"  and  I  'm  going  mad  as  fast  as  I  can  !  Do  what  you 
like  to  me  !  Kick  me  if  you  please  !  Call  in  a  consta- 
ble !  Send  me  to  jail !  Say  I  came  to  rob  you — any- 
thing—  blow  me  if  I  care  what  becomes  of  me!" 

"  Why,  what  does  all  this  jabber  mean,  Titmouse  1  " 
inquired  Huckaback,  sternly,  and  apparently  meditating 
reprisuK 

11  I  »h,  yes,  I  see  !  Now  you  are  going  to  give  it  me! 
but  I   won't  stir.     So  hit  away,  Hucky." 

"Why  —  are  you  mad?"  inquired  Huckaback,  grasp- 
ing him  by  the  collar  rather  roughly. 

"Yes,  quite!  Mad! — ruined!  —  gone  to  the  devil 
all  at  on< 

"And  v. hat  if  you  are?  What  did  it  matter  to  me  I 
What  brought  you  here?''  continued  Huckaback,  in  a 
tone  of  increasing  vehemence.     "  What  have  I  done  to 


80  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAK. 

offend  you?  How  dare  you  come  here?  And  at  this 
time  of  night,  too  1     Eh  ]" 

11  What,  indeed  !  Oh  lud,  oh  lud,  oh  lud  !  Kick  me, 
I  say  —  strike  me  !  You  '11  do  me  good,  and  bring  me 
to  my  senses.  Me  to  do  all  this  to  yon !  And  we  've 
been  such  precious  good  friends  always.  I  'm  a  brute, 
Hucky — I  've  been  mad,  stark  mad,  Hucky  —  and  that 's 
all  I  can  say  !  " 

Huckaback  stared  at  him  more  and  more ;  and  began 
at  length  to  suspect  how  matters  stood  —  namely,  that 
the  Sunday's  incident  had  turned  Titmouse's  head  —  he 
having  also,  no  doubt,  heard  some  desperate  bad  news 
during  the  day,  smashing  all  his  hopes.  A  mixture  of 
emotions  kept  Huckaback  silent.  Astonishment  —  appre- 
hension —  doubt  —  pride  —  pique  —  resentment.  He  had 
been  struck  —  his  blood  had  been  drawn  —  by  the  man 
there  before  him  on  his  knees,  formerly  his  friend;  now, 
he  supposed,  a  madman. 

"  Why,  curse  me,  Titmouse,  if  I  can  make  up  my  mind 
what  to  do  to  3-011 ! "  he  exclaimed.  "  I  —  I  suppose  you 
are  going  mad,  or  gone  mad,  and  I  must  forgive  you. 
But  get  away  with  you  —  out  with  you,  or  —  or  —  I  '11 
call  in" 

"Forgive  me  —  forgive  me,  dear  Hucky  !  Don't  send 
me  away  —  I  shall  go  and  drown  myself  if  you  do." 

"  What  the  d  —  1  do  I  care  if  you  do  %  You  'd  much 
better  have  gone  and  done  it  before  you  came  here. 
Nay,  be  off  and  do  it  now,  instead  of  blubbering  here 
in  this  way." 

"  Go  on  !  go  on  !  —  it 's  doing  me  good  —  the  worse 
the  better  !  "  sobbed  Titmouse. 

"  Come,  come,"  said  Huckaback,  roughly,  "  none  of  this 
noise  here.     I  'm  tired  of  it !  " 

"  But,  pray,  don't  send  me  away  from  you.  I  shall  go 
straight  to  the  devil  if  you  do  !     I  've  no  friend  but  you, 


TEN    THOUSAND    A-YKAK.  81 

Hucky.  Yet  I  've  boon  such  a  villain  to  yon  !  — But  it 
quite  put  the  devil  into  me,  when  all  of  a  sudden  I  found 
it  was  you,9' 

"  Me  !  —  Why,  what  are  you  after  I  "  interrupted  Huck- 
aback, with  an  air  of  angry  wonder. 

••  1  »!i  dcai-,  dear  !  "  groaned  Titmouse  ;  "  if  I  've  been  a 
brute  to  you,  which  is  quite  true,  you  've  been  the  ruin 
of  me,  clean  !  I  'm  clean  done  for,  Hiick.  Cleaned  out  ! 
You  've  done  my  business  for  me  ;  knocked  it  all  on 
the  head!  —  I  sha'n't  never  hear  any  more  of  it — 
they've  said  as  much  in  their  letter  —  they  say  you 
called  to-day  " 

Huckaback  now  began  to  have  a  glimmering  notion  of 
his  having  been,  in  some  considerable  degree,  connected 
with  the  mischief  of  the  day  —  an  unconscious  agent  in 
it.  lie  audibly  drew  in  his  breath,  as  it  were,  as  he 
more  and  more  distinctly  recollected  his  visit  to  Messrs. 
Quirk,  Gammon,  and  Snap  ;  and  adverted  more  particu- 
larly to  his  threats,  uttered,  too,  in  Titmouse's  name, 
and  as  if  by  his  authority.  Whew  !  here  was  a  kettle 
of  fish. 

Now,  strange  and  unaccountable  as,  at  first  thought,  it 
may  appear,  the  very  circumstance  which  one  should  have 
thought  calculated  to  assuage  his  resentment  against  Tit- 
mouse—  namely,  that  he  had  really  injured  Titmouse  most 
seriously,  (if  not  indeed  irreparably,)  and  so  provoked  the 
drubbing  which  had  just  been  administered  to  him  — had 
quite  the  contrary  effect.  Paradoxical  as  it  may  seem, 
matter  of  clear  mitigation  was  at  once  converted  into 
matter  of  aggravation.  Were  the  feelings  which  Hucka- 
back then  experienced,  akin  to  that  which  often  produces 
hatred  of  a  person  whom  one  has  injured  I  May  it  be 
thus  accounted  for  1  That  there  is  a  secret  satisfaction 
in  the  mere  consciousness  of  being  a  sufferer —  a  martyr 
—  and  that,  too,  in  the  presence  of  a  person  whom  one 
vol.  i.  —  G 


82  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

perceives  to  be  aware  that  he  has  wantonly  injured  one  ; 
that  one's  braised  spirit  is  soothed  by  the  sight  of  his  re- 
morse —  by  the  consciousness  that  he  is  punishing  him- 
self infinitely  more  severely  than  we  could  punish  him  ; 
and  of  the  claim  one  has  obtained  to  the  sympathy  of 
everybody  who  sees,  or  may  hear  of  one's  sufferings,  (that 
rich  and  grateful  balm  to  injured  feeling.)  But  when,  as 
in  the  case  of  Huckaback,  feelings  of  this  description  (in 
a  coarse  and  small  way,  to  be  sure,  according  to  his  kind) 
were  suddenly  encountered  by  a  consciousness  of  his  hav- 
ing deserved  his  sufferings ;  when  the  martyr  felt  himself 
quickly  sinking  into  the  culprit  and  offender ;  when,  I 
say,  Huckaback  felt  an  involuntary  consciousness  that  the 
gross  indignities  which  Titmouse  had  just  inflicted  on 
him,  had  been  justified  by  the  provocation  —  nay,  had 
been  far  less  than  his  mischievous  and  impudent  inter- 
ference had  deserved ;  —  and  when  feelings  of  this  sort, 
moreover,  were  sharpened  by  a  certain  tingling  sense  of 
physical  pain  from  the  blows  which  he  had  received  — 
the  result  was,  that  the  sleeping  lion  of  Huckaback's 
courage  was  very  nearly  awrakening. 

"  /  've  half  a  mind,  Titmouse  "  —  said  Huckaback,  knit- 
ting his  brows,  fixing  his  eyes,  and  appearing  inclined  to 
raise  his  arm.  There  was  an  ominous  pause  for  a  moment 
or  two,  during  which  Titmouse's  feelings  also  underwent 
a  slight  alteration.  His  allusion  to  Huckaback's  ruinous 
insult  to  Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon,  and  Snap,  unconsciously 
converted  his  remorse  into  rage,  which  it  rather,  perhaps, 
resuscitated.  Titmouse  rose  from  his  knees.  "  Ah  !  "  said 
he,  in  quite  an  altered  tone,  "  you  may  look  fierce !  you 
may  !  —  you  'd  better  strike  me,  Huckaback  —  do  !  Finish 
the  mischief  you  've  begun  this  day  !  Hit  away  —  you  're 
quite  safe "  —  and  he  secretly  prepared  himself  for  the 
mischief  which  —  did  not  come.  "  You  have  ruined  me  ! 
you   have,   Huckaback !  "  he  continued  with    increasing 


TEN    THOUSAND   A-YEAR.  83 

vehemence;  "and  I  shall  be  cutting  my  throat  —  nay," 
striking  his  fist  on  the  table,   "I  will!" 

"You  don't  say  s..  :"  exclaimed  Huckaback,  apprehen- 
sively. "  No,  Titmouse,  don't  —  don't  think  of  it ;  it  will 
all  come  right  yet,  depend  on  't ;  you  see  if  it  don't !  " 

u  <  Mi.  in',  it  's  all  done  tor  —  it  \s  all  up  with  me  !  " 

'•  But  what's  been  done? — let  us  hear,"  said  Hucka- 
back, as  ho  passed  a  wet  towel  to  and  fro  over  his  ensan- 
guined features.  It  was  by  this  time  clear  that  the  storm 
which  had  for  some  time  given  out  only  a  few  faint  fitful 
Hashes  or  tlickerings  in  the  distance,  had  passed  away. 
Titmouse,  with  many  grievous  sighs,  took  out  the  letter 
which  had  produced  the  paroxysms  I  have  been  describ- 
ed read  it  aloud.  "And  only  see  how  they've 
spelled  your  name,  Huckaback  —  look  !  "  he  added,  hand- 
in-'  his  friend  the  letter. 

••  How  parfic'lar  vulgar  !''  exclaimed  Huckaback,  with 
a  contemptuous  air,  which,  overspreading  his  features,  half- 
closed  as  was  his  left  eye,  and  swollen  as  were  his  cheek 
and  nose,  would  have  made  him  a  queer  object  to  one  who 
had  leisure  to  observe  such  matters.  "  And  so  this  is  all 
they  say  of  me"  he  continued.  "  How  do  you  come  to 
know  that  1  've  been  doing  you  mischief?  All  I  did  was 
just  to  look  in,  as  respectful  as  possible,  to  ask  how  you 
was,  and  they  very  civilly  told  me  you  was  very  well, 
and  we  parted  " 

■•  Nay,  now,  that 's  a  lie,  Huckaback,  and  you  know 
it  ! "  interrupted  Titmouse. 

"  It  \s  true,  so  help  me ! "  vehemently  asseverated 

Huckaback. 

"  Why,  perhaps  you  '11  deny  that  you  wrote  and  told 
me  all  you  said,"  interrupted  Titmouse,  indignantly,  feel- 
ing in  his  pocket  for  Huckaback's  letter,  which  that  wor- 
thy had  at  the  moment  quite  forgotten  having  sent,  and 
on  being    reminded    of   it,    he    certainly    seemed    rather 


84  TEN  THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

nonplussed.  "  Oh  —  ay,  if  you  mean  that  —  hem  !  "  — 
he  stammered. 

"  Come,  you  know  you  're  a  liar,  Huck  —  but  it  *s  no 
good  now  :  liar  or  no  liar,  it 's  all  over." 

"  The  pot  and  kettle,  anyhow,  Tit,  as  far  as  that  goes 
—  hem  !  —  but  let 's  spell  over  this  letter ;  we  have  n't 
studied  it  yet ;  I  'm  a  hand,  rather,  at  getting  at  what 's 
said  in  a  letter  !  —  Come  "  —  and  they  drew  their  chairs 
together,  Huckaback  reading  over  the  letter  slowly,  alone  ; 
Titmouse's  eyes  travelling  incessantly  from  his  friend's 
countenance  to  the  letter,  and  so  back  again,  to  gather 
what  might  be  the  eifect  of  its  perusal. 

"  There 's  a  glimpse  of  daylight  yet,  Titty  ! "  said 
Huckaback,  as  he  concluded  reading  it. 

"  No  !    But  is  there  really  1    Do  tell  me,  Hucky  " 

11  Why,  first  and  foremost,  how  uncommon  polite  they 
are,  (except  that  they  have  n't  manners  enough  to  spell 
my  name  right)  " 

"Really  —  and  so  they  are!"  exclaimed  Titmouse, 
rather  elatedly. 

"  And  then,  you  see,  there 's  another  thing  —  if  they  'd 
meant  to  give  the  thing  the  go-by  altogether,  what  could 
have  been  easier  than  to  say  so  1  —  but  they  have  n't  said 
anything  of  the  sort,  so  they  don't  mean  to  give  it  all 
up ! " 

"  Lord,  Huck  !  what  would  I  give  for  such  a  head  as 
yours !  What  you  say  is  quite  true,"  said  Titmouse, 
still  more  cheerfully. 

"  To  be  sure,  they  do  say  there 's  an  obstacle  —  an 
obstacle,  you  see  —  nay,  it  's  obstacles,  which  is  several, 
and  that  " Titmouse's  face  fell. 

"  But  they  say  again,  that  it 's  —  it 's  —  curse  their  big 
words  —  they  say  it 's  —  to  be  got  over  in  time." 

"  Well  —  that 's  something,  is  n't  it  1 " 

"  To  be  sure  it  is  ;  and  a'n't  anything  better  than  noth- 


TEN   THOUSAND   A-YE.VU.  85 

in--  /     But  then,  again,  here  's  a  stone  in  the  other  poeket 

—  they  say  there  'a  a  circumstance/  —  don't  you  hate  cir- 
cumstances, Titty  I  —  1  do." 

"So  do   L!  —  What  does  it  mean?     I 've  often  heard 

—  is  n't  it  a  thing  f     And  that  may  be  —  anything." 

••  I  >h.  there  's  a  great  dif —  hem  !  And  they  go  on  to 
it  's  happened  sinee  you  was  there  " 

*'  Curse  me,  then,  if  that  don't  mean  yott,  Huckaback  !  " 
interrupted  Titmouse,  with  returning  anger. 

"  No,  that  can't  be  it ;  they  said  they  'd  no  control  over 
the  circumstance  ;  —  now  they  had  over  me  ;  for  they  or- 
dered me  to  the  door,  and  I  went ;  a'n't  that  so,  Titty  ] 

—  Lord,  how  my  eye  dues  smart,  to  be  sure  !  " 

•And  don't  I  smart  all  over,  inside  and  out,  if  it  comes 
to  that  '  "  inquired  Titmouse,  dolefully. 

"  There's  nothing  particular  in  the  rest  of  the  letter  — 
only  uncommon  civil,  and  saying  if  anything  turns  up  you 
shall  hear." 

"I  could  make  that  out  myself — so  there  's  nothing 
in  that  "  —  said  Titmouse,  quickly. 

•■  Well  —  if  it  is  all  over  —  what  a  pity  !  Such  things 
as  we  could  have  done,  Titty,  if  we  'd  got  the  thing  — 
eh?" 

Titmouse  groaned  at  this  glimpse  of  the  heaven  he 
seemed  shut  out  of  forever. 

n't  you  find  anything  —  nothing  at  all  comfortable- 
like, in  the  letter]"  he  inquired  with  a  deep  sigh. 

Huckaback  again  took  up  the  letter  and  spelled  it 
over. 

••  Well,"  said  he,  striving  to  give  himself  an  appearance 
of  thinking,  "  there  's  something  in  it  that,  after  all,  I 
don't  seem  quite  to  get  to  the  bottom  of — they  've  seem- 
ingly taken  a  deal  of  pains  with  it !  " 

[And   undoubtedly  it  ivas  a  document  which  had  been 
well  considered  by  its  framers  before  being  sent 


86  TEN    THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

out;  though,  probably,  they  had  hardly  anticipated  its 
being  so  soon  afterwards  subjected  to  the  scrutiny  of 
such  acute  intellects  as  were  now  engaged  upon  it.] 

"  And  then,  again,  you  know  they  're  lawyers ;  and 
do  they  ever  wTrite  anything  that  hasn't  got  more  in  it 
than  anybody  can  find  out  1  These  gents  that  wrote  this, 
they're  a  trick  too  keen  for  the  thieves  even  —  and  how 
can  we  —  hem  !  —  but  I  wonder  if  that  fat,  old,  bald-headed 
gent,  with  sharp  eyes,  was  Mr.  Quirk  " 

"  To  be  sure  it  was,"  interrupted  Titmouse,  with  a 
half  shudder. 

"  Was  it  1  Well,  then,  I  'd  advise  Old  Nick  to  look 
sharp  before  he  tackles  that  old  gent,  that 's  all ! " 

"Give  me  Mr.  Gammon  for  my  money,"  said  Titmouse, 
sighing,  "  such  an  uncommon  gentlemanlike  gent  —  he  's 
quite  taken  to  me  " 

"  Ah,  that,  I  suppose,  was  him  with  the  black  velvet 
waistcoat,  and  pretty  white  hands !  But  he  can  look 
stern,  too,  Tit !  You  should  have  seen  him  ring,  when 
—  hem  !  —  But  what  was  I  saying  about  the  letter  1 
Don't  you  see  they  say  they  '11  be  sure  to  write  if  any- 
thing turns  up  1 " 

"So  they  do,  to  be  sure!  Well  —  I'd  forgot  that!" 
interrupted  Titmouse,  brightening  up. 

"  Then,  is  n't  there  their  advertisement  in  the  Flash  ? 
They  had  n't  their  eye  on  anything  when  they  put  it 
there,  I  dare  say  !  —  They  can 't  get  out  of  that,  any- 
how ! " 

"  I  begin  to  feel  all  of  a  sweat,  Hucky ;  I  'm  sure 
there 's  something  in  the  wind  yet ! "  said  Titmouse, 
drawing  nearer  still  to  his  comforter.  "And  more  than 
that  —  would  they  have  said  half  they  did  to  me  last 
night " 

"Eh!  hollo,  by  the  way!  I've  not  heard  of  what 
went  on  last  night !     So  you  went  to  'em  *?     Well  —  tell 


TEN    THOUSAND    A-YKAK.  87 

tis  all  thai  happened — and  nothing  bnt  the  truth,  be  sure 
you  don't;  come,  Titty!"  said  Huckaback,  snuffing  the 
candle,  and  then  turning  eagerly  to  his  companion. 

"Well  —  they'd  such  a  number  of  queer-looking  pa- 
pers before  them,  some  with  old  German-text  writing, 
and  others  with  zigzag  marks  —  and  they  were  so  un- 
common polite  —  they  all  three  got  up  as  I  went  in, 
and  made  me  bows,  one  after  the  other,  and  said,  '  Yours 
obediently,  Mr.  Titmouse,' and  a  great  many  more 
such  things." 

"Well— and  then?" 

"Why,    Plucky,  so  help  me !  and  'pon  my  soul, 

that  old  gent,  Mr.  Quirk,  told  me"  —  Titmouse's  voice 
trembled  at  the  recollection  —  "  he  says,  '  Sir,  you're  the 
real  owner  of  Ten  Thousand  a-year,  and  no  mistake  ! '" 

"Lawks!"  ejaculated  Huckaback,  opening  wider  and 
wider  his  eyes  and  ears  as  his  friend   went  on. 

"'And  a  title  —  a  lord,  or  something  of  that  sort  — 

ami    yon  Ve   a   great    many  country  seats ;    and    there 's 

been  £10,000  a-year  saving  up  for  you  ever  since    you 

born — and   heaps  of  interest  besides!'  —  'pon  my 

soul  he  did  !  " 

"Lord,  Tit  !  you  take  my  breath  away,"  gasped  Huck- 
aback, his  eyes  fixed  intently  on  his  friend's  face. 

"  Yes:  and  they  said  I  might  marry  the  most  beauti- 
fulest  woman  that  ever  my  eyes  saw,  for  the  asking." 

••  You'll  forget  poor  Bob  Huckaback,  Tit!"  murmured 
his  friend,  despondingly. 

"Not  I,  Huckaback  —  if  I  get  my  rights,  and  you 
know  how  to  behave  yourself!" 

"Have  von  been  to  Tag-rag's  to-day,  after  hearing  all 
this?" 

[The  thermometer  seemed  to  have  been  here  plunged 
out  of  hot  water  into  cold  —  Titmouse  was  down  at  zero 
in  a  trice.] 


88  TEN    THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

"  Oh  !  —  that 's  it !  'T  is  all  gone  again  !  What  a  fool 
I  am  !  We  've  clean  forgot  this  cursed  letter  —  and  that 
leads  me  to  the  end  of  what  took  place  last  night.  That 
cursed  shop  was  what  we  split  on  !  " 

"Split  on  the  shop!  ehl  \Yhat's  the  meaning  of  that1?" 
inquired  Huckaback,  with  eager  anxiety. 

"  Why,  that 's  the  thing,"  continued  Titmouse,  in  a  fal- 
tering tone,  and  with  a  depressed  look  —  "That  was  what 
I  wanted  to  know  myself ;  for  they  said  I  'd  better  go 

back  !  !     So  I  said,  '  Gents,'  said  I,  '  I  '11  be if  I  '11 

go  back  to  the  shop  any  more ; '  and  I  snapped  my  fin- 
gers at  them  —  so  !  (for  you  know  what  a  chap  I  am 
when  my  blood's  up.)  And  they  all  turned  gashly  pale 
—  they  did,  upon  my  life  —  you  never  saw  anything 
like  it !  And  one  of  them  said  then,  in  a  humble  way, 
1  Would  n't  I  please  to  go  back  to  the  shop,  just  for  a 
day  or  two,  till  things  is  got  to  rights  a  bit.'  '  Not  a 
day  nor  a  minute  ! '  says  1,  in  an  immense  rage.  '  We 
think  you  'd  better,  really,'  said  they.  'Then,'  says  I,  'if 
that 's  your  plan,  curse  me  if  I  won't  cut  with  you  all, 
and  I  '11  employ  some  one  else  ! '  and  —  would  you  be- 
lieve me  1  —  out  I  went,  bang  !  into  the  street !  !  " 

"  You  did,  Tit  ! !  "  echoed  Huckaback,  aghast. 

"  They  should  n't  have  given  me  so  much  brandy  and 
water  as  they  did ;  I  didn't  well  know  what  I  was  about, 
what  with  the  news  and  the  spirits  !  " 

"And  you  went  into  the  street]"  inquired  Huck- 
aback, with  a  kind  of  horror. 

"  I  did,  by  Jove,  Hucky  !  " 

"  They  'd  given  you  the  sperrits  to  see  what  kind  of 
chap  you  'd  be  if  you  got  the  property  —  only  to  try  you, 
depend  on  it  !  " 

"  Lord  !  I  —  I  dare  say  they  did  ! "  exclaimed  Tit- 
mouse, elevating  his  head  with  sudden  amazement, 
totally   forgetting    that    same    brandy    and    water    he 


TKN    THOUSAND    A-VKAU.  89 

bad  asked  for  —  "and  me  never  to  think  of  it  at  the 
time." 

"Non  are  you  quite  sure  you  wasn't  in  a  dream  last 
night,   all   the   while  I  " 

1  i.  dear,  I  wish  1  had  been — I  do,  indeed,  Huckv  !" 

"  Well  —you  went  into  the  street  —  what  then  \n  in- 
quired  Huckaback,  with  a  sigh  of  exhausted  attention. 

••  Why.  when  I'd  got  there,  I  could  have  bitten  my 
tongue  off,  aa  one  may  suppose;  but,  just  as  I  was  a- 
turning  to  go  in  again,  who  should  come  up  to  me  but 
Mr.  Gammon,  saying,  he  humbly  hoped  there  was  no 
offence." 

"Oh,  glorious!  So  it  was  all  set  right  again,  then  — 
eh  I  " 

'•Why — I  —  I  can't  quite  exactly  say  that  much, 
either  —  but  —  when  I  went  back,  (being  obligated  by 
Mr.  Gammon  being  so  pressing,)  the  other  two  was  sit- 
ting as  pale  as  death  ;  and  though  Mr.  Gammon  and  me 
went  on  our  knees  to  the  old  gent,  it  wasn't  any  use  for 
a  long  time  ;  and  all  that  he  could  be  got  to  say  was, 
that  perhaps  I  might  look  in  again  to-night  —  (but  they 
first  made  me  swear  a  solemn  oath  on  the  Bible  never  to 
tell  any  one  anything  about  the  fortune)  —  and  then  — 
you  went,  Huckaback,  and  you  did  the  business ;  they 
of  course  concluding  I  'd  sent  you  ! " 

••  I  >h,  bother  !  that  can't  be.  Don't  you  see  how  civ- 
illy they  speak  of  me  in  their  letter  ]  They  're  afraid  of 
me,  you  may  depend  on  it.  By  the  way,  Tit,  how  much 
did  you  promise  to  come  down,  if  you  got  the  thing  1  " 

me  down  ! —  I  —  really  —  by  Jove,  I  did  n't  think 
of  such  :i  thing  !  No  —  I  'm  sure  I  did  n't  "  —  answered 
Titmouse,  as  if  new  light  had  burst  in  upon  him. 

"  Why,  Tit,  I  never  see  'd  such  a  goose  !  That  'a  it, 
depend  upon  it  —  it's  the  whole  thing!  That's  what 
they're  driving  at,  in  the  note! — Why,  Tit,  where  was 


90  TEN   THOUSAND   A- YEAR. 

your  wits  1  D  'ye  think  such  gents  as  them  —  great  law- 
yers, too  —  will  work  for  nothing  1  —  You  must  write  at 
once  and  tell  them  you  will  come  down  handsome  —  say 
a  couple  of  hundreds,  besides  expenses  —  Gad  !  't  will  set 
you  on  your  pins  again,  Titty  !  —  Rot  me !  now  I  think 
of  it,  if  I  did  n't  dream  last  night  that  you  was  a  Member 
of  Parliament  or  something  of  that  sort." 

"  A  member  of  Parliament  !  And  so  I  shall,  if  all  this 
turns  up  well  —  I  shall  be  that  at  least !  "  replied  Tit- 
mouse, exultingly. 

"  You  see  if  my  dream  don't  come  true  !  You  see, 
Titty,  I  'm  always  a-thinking  of  you,  day  and  night. 
Never  was  two  fellows  that  was  such  close  friends  as  we 
was  from  the  very  beginning  of  knowing  each  other  !  " 

[They  had  been  acquainted  with  each  other  about  half 
a  year.] 

"  Hucky,  what  a  cruel  scamp  I  was  to  behave  to  you 
in  the  way  I  did  —  curse  me,  if  I  could  n't  cry  to  see 
your  eye  bunged  up  in  that  wray  !  " 

"  Pho  !  dear  Titty,  I  knew  you  loved  me  all  the  while  " 
—  whined  Huckaback,  "  and  meant  no  harm  ;  you  was  n't 
yourself  when  you  did  it  —  and  besides,  I  deserved  ten 
times  more  !  If  you  had  killed  me  I  should  have  liked 
you  as  much  as  ever  !  " 

"  Give  us  your  hand,  Hucky  !  Let 's  forgive  one  an- 
other !  "  cried  Titmouse,  excitedly ;  and  their  hands  were 
quickly  locked  together. 

"  If  we  don't  mismanage  the  thing,  we  shall  be  all  right 
yet,  Titty ;  but  you  won't  do  anything  without  speaking 
to  me  first  —  will  you,  Titty  1 " 

"  The  thoughts  of  it  all  going  right  again  is  enough  to 
set  me  wild,  Hucky  —  But  what  shall  we  do  to  set  the 
thing  going  again  1 " 

"  Quarter  past  one  !  "  quivered  the  voice  of  the  par- 
alytic  watchman   beneath,   startling   the   friends  out  of 


TEN   THOUSAND   A- YEAR.  91 

their  exciting  colloquy;  his  warning  being  at  the  same 
time  silently  seconded  by  the  long-wicked  candle,  burn- 
ing within  half  an  inch  of  its  socket.  They  hastily  agreed 
that  Titmouse  should  immediately  write  to  Messrs.  Quirk, 
Gammon,  and  Snap,  a  proper  [/.  e.  a  most  abject]  letter, 
solemnly  pledging  himself  to  obey  their  injunctions  in 
everything  for  the  future,  and  offering  them  a  handsome 
reward  for  their  exertions,  if  successful. 

"Well  — good-night,  Hack!  good-night,"  said  Tit- 
mouse, rising.  "I'm  not  the  least  sleepy  —  I  sha'n't 
sleep  a  wink  all  night  long !  I  shall  sit  up  to  write  my 
letter  —  you  have  n't  got  a  sheet  of  paper  here,  by  the 
way?  —  I've  used  all  mine."  [That  was,  he  had,  some 
months  before,  bought  a  sheet  to  write  a  letter,  and  had 
so   used   it.] 

Huckaback  produced  a  sheet,  somewhat  crumpled, 
from  a  drawer.  "  I  'd  give  a  hundred  if  I  had  them  !  " 
said  he;  "I  sha'n't  care  a  straw  for  the  hiding  I've 
Lr  t  to-night  —  though  I  'in  a  leetle  sore  after  it,  too  — 
and  what  the  deuce  am  I  to  say  to-morrow  to  Messrs. 
Diaper" 

'•  I  >h,  you  can't  hardly  be  at  a  loss  for  a  lie  that'll  suit 
them,  surely  !  —  So  good-night,  Hucky  —  good-night !  " 

Huckaback  wrung  his  friend's  hand,  and  was  in  a  mo- 
ment or  two  alone.  "  Have  n't  my  fingers  been  itching 
all  the  while  to  be  at  the  fellow  !  "  exclaimed  he,  as  he 
shut  the  door.  "  But,  somehow,  I  've  got  too  soft  a  sper- 
rit,  and  can't  bear  to  hurt  any  one  ;  —  and  then  —  if  the 
ch;ii)  gets  his  £10,000  a-year  —  why  —  hem!  Titty  a'n't 
such  a  bad  fellow,  in  the  main,  after  all." 

If  Titmouse  had  been  many  degrees  higher  in  the 
grade  of  society,  he  would  still  have  met  with  his  Hucka- 
back;—  a  trifle  more  polished,  perhaps,  but  hardly  more 
quicksighted  or  effective  than,  in  his  way,  had  been  the 
vulgar  being  he  had  just  quitted. 


92  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

Titmouse  hastened  homeward.  How  it  was  he  knew 
not ;  but  the  feelings  of  elation  with  which  he  had 
quitted  Huckaback  did  not  last  long ;  they  rapidly  sank, 
in  the  cold  night-air,  lower  and  lower,  the  farther  he  got 
from  Leicester  Square.  He  tried  to  recollect  what  it  was 
that  had  made  him  take  so  very  different  a  view  of  his 
affairs  from  that  with  which  he  had  entered  Huckaback's 
room.  He  had  still  a  vague  impression  that  they  were 
not  desperate ;  that  Huckaback  had  told  him  so,  and 
somehow  proved  it ;  but  how  he  now  knew  not  —  he  could 
not  recollect.  As  Huckaback  had  gone  on  from  time  to 
time,  Titmouse's  little  mind  seemed  to  himself  to  com- 
prehend and  appreciate  what  was  being  said,  and  to 
gather  encouragement  from  it;  but  now  —  consume  it! 

—  he  stopped  —  rubbed  his  forehead  —  what  the  deuce 
was  it  1  By  the  time  that  he  had  reached  his  own  door, 
he  felt  in  as  deplorable  and  despairing  a  humor  as  ever. 
He  sat  down  to  write  his  letter  at  once ;  but,  after  many 
vain  efforts  to  express  his  meaning — his  feelings  being 
not  in  the  least  degree  relieved  by  the  many  oaths  he 
uttered  —  he  at  length  furiously  dashed  his  pen,  point- 
wise,  upon  the  table,  and  thereby  destroyed  the  only  im- 
plement of  the  sort  which  he  possessed.  Then  he  tore, 
rather  than  pulled  off,  his  clothes;  blew  out  his  candle 
with  a  furious  puff',  and  threw  himself  on  his  bed  —  but 
in  so  doing  banged  the  back  of  his  head  against  the  back 
of  the  bed  —  and  which  of  the  two  suffered  more,  for 
some  time  after,  probably  Mr.  Titmouse  was  best  able 
to  tell. 

Hath,  then  —  oh,  Titmouse  !  fated  to  undergo  much  ! 

—  the  blind  jade  Fortune,  in  her  mad  vagaries  —  she,  the 
goddess  whom  thou  hast  so  long  foolishly  worshipped  — 
at  length  cast  her  sportful  eye  upon  thee,  and  singled 
thee  out  to  become  the  envy  of  millions  of  admiring  fools, 
by  reason  of  the  pranks  she  will  presently  make  thee 


TEN    THOUSAND    A-YKAK.  93 

exhibit  for  her  amusement  1  If  this  be  indeed,  as  at 
present  it  promises,  her  intent,  she  truly,  to  me  calmly 
watching  her  movements,  appears  resolved  first  to  wreak 
her  spite  upon  thee  to  the  uttermost,  and  make  thee 
pass  through  intense  Bufferings]  Oh  me!  Oh  me! 
Alas ! 


94  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 


CHAPTER  III. 

The  means  by  which  Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon,  and 
Snap,  became  possessed  of  the  important  information 
which  had  put  them  into  motion,  as  we  have  seen,  to 
find  out  by  advertisement  one  yet  unknown  to  them,  it 
will  not  be  necessary  for  some  time  to  explain.  Theirs 
was  a  keen  house,  truly,  and  dealing  principally  in  the 
criminal  line  of  business ;  and  they  would  not,  one  may 
be  sure,  have  lightly  committed  themselves  to  their  pre- 
sent extent,  namely,  in  inserting  such  an  advertisement 
in  the  newspapers,  and,  above  all,  going  so  far  in  their 
disclosures  to  Titmouse.  Their  prudence  in  the  latter 
step,  however,  was  very  questionable  to  themselves  even ; 
and  they  immediately  afterwards  deplored  together  the 
precipitation  with  which  Mr.  Quirk  had  communicated  to 
Titmouse  the  nature  and  extent  of  his  possible  good  for- 
tune. It  was  Mr.  Quirk's  own  doing,  however,  and  done 
after  as  much  expostulation  as  the  cautious  Gammon  could 
venture  to  use.  I  say  they  had  not  lightly  taken  up  the 
affair;  they  had  not  "acted  unadvisedly."  They  were 
fortified,  first,  by  the  opinion  of  Mr.  Mortmain,  an  able 
and  experienced  conveyancer,  who  thus  wound  up  an  ab- 
strusely learned  opinion  on  the  voluminous  "  case  "  which 
had  been  submitted  to  him  :  — 

"  .  .  Under  all  these  circumstances,  and  assuming  as  above, 
I  am  decidedly  of  opinion  that  the  title  to  the  estates  in  question 
is  at  this  moment  not  in  their  present  possessor,  (who  represents 
the  younger  branch  of  the  Dredcllington  family,)  but  in  the  de- 
scendants of  Stephen  Dredcllington,  through  the  female  line ; 


TEX    THOUSAND    A- YEAR.  95 

which  brings  us  to  Gabriel  Tittlebat  Titmouse.    This  person, 
however,  seems  not  to  have  been  at  all  aware  of  the  existence  of 

Jits  or  he  could  hardly  have  been  concerned  in  the  pecu- 
niary arrangements  mentioned  at  fol.  33  of  the  case.  Probably 
something  may  be  heard  of  his  heir  by  making  careful  inquiry 
in  the  neighborhood  where  he  was  last  heard  of,  and  issuing 
advertisements  for  his  heir-at-law  ;  care,  of  course,  being  taken 
not  to  be  BO  Bpecific  in  the  terms  of  such  advertisements  as  to  at- 
tract the  notice  of  A.  B.,  (the  party  now  in  possession.)    If  such 

.  should,  by  the  means  above  suggested,  be  discovered,  I 
advise  proceedings  to  be  commenced  forthwith,  under  the  advice 
of  some  gentleman  of  experience  at  the  common-law  bar. 

11  Mouldy  Mortmain. 
••  I.        li's  Inn,  January  19,  IS—." 

This  was  sufficiently  gratifying  to  the  "  house  ;"  but,  to 
make  assurance  doubly  sure,  before  embarking  in  so  haras- 
md  expensive  an  enterprise  —  one  which  lay  a  good 
deal,  too,  without  the  sphere  of  their  practice,  which  as 
already  mentioned,  was  chiefly  in  criminal  law  —  the  same 
case  (without  Mr.  Mortmain's  opinion)  was  laid  before  a 
young  conveyancer,  who,  having  much  less  business  than 
Mr.  Mortmain,  would,  it  was  thought,  "look  into  the  case 
fully,"  though  receiving  only  one-third  of  the  fee  which 
had  been  paid  to  Mr.  Mortmain.  And  Mr.  Fussy  Frank- 
pledge—  that  was  his  name  —  did  "look  into  the  case 
fully  ;"  and  in  doing  so,  turned  over  two-thirds  of  his  lit- 
tle library  ;  —  and  also  gleaned  —  by  note  and  verbally  — 
the  opinions  upon  the  subject  of  some  half-dozen  of  his 
"  learned  friends ; "  to  say  nothing  of  the  magnificent  air 
with  which  he  indoctrinated  his  eager  and  confiding  pupils 
upon  the  subject.  At  length  his  imp  of  a  clerk  bore  the 
precious  result  of  his  master's  labors  to  Saffron  Hill,  in 
the  shape  of  an  "opinion,"  three  times  as  long  as,  and  in- 
describably more  difficult  to  understand  than,  the  opinion 
of  Mr.  Mortmain  ;  and  which  if  it  demonstrated  anything 
.1  the  prodigious  cram  which  had  been  undergone  by 


96  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAlt. 

its  writer  for  the  purpose  of  producing  it,  demonstrated 
this  —  namely,  that  neither  the  party  indicated  by  Mr. 
Mortmain,  nor  the  one  then  actually  in  possession,  had  any 
more  right  to  the  estate  than  the  aforesaid  Mr.  Frank- 
pledge ;  but  that  the  happy  individual  so  entitled  was 
some  third  person.  Messrs.  Quirk  and  Gammon,  a  good 
deal  flustered  hereat,  hummed  and  hawed  on  perusing 
these  contradictory  opinions  of  counsel  learned  in  the 
law  ;  and  the  usual  and  proper  result  followed  —  i.  e.  a 
"  consultation,"  which  was  to  solder  up  all  the  differ- 
ences between  Mr.  Mortmain  and  Mr.  Frankpledge,  or, 
at  all  events,  strike  out  some  light  which  might  guide 
their  clients  on  their  adventurous  way. 

Now,  Mr.  Mortmain  had  been  Mr.  Quirk's  conveyancer 
(whenever  such  a  functionary's  services  had  been  re- 
quired) for  about  twenty  years  ;  and  Quirk  was  ready  to 
suffer  death  in  defence  of  any  opinion  of  Mr.  Mortmain. 
Mr.  Gammon  swore  by  Frankpledge,  who  had  been  at 
school  wTith  him,  and  was  a  "rising  man."  Mortmain 
belonged  to  the  old  school  —  Frankpledge  steered  by  the 
new  lights.  The  former  could  point  to  some  forty  cases 
in  the  Law  Reports,  which  had  been  ruled  in  conformity 
with  his  previously  given  opinion,  and  some  twenty  which 
had  been  overruled  thereby ;  the  latter  gentleman,  al- 
though he  had  been  only  five  years  in  practice,  had 
written  an  opinion  which  had  led  to  a  suit  —  which  had 
ended  in  a  difference  of  opinion  between  the  Court  of 
King's  Bench  and  the  Common  Pleas;  the  credit  of 
having  done  which  wras,  however,  some  time  afterward, 
a  little  bit  tarnished  by  the  decision  of  a  Court  of  Error, 
without  hearing  the  other  side,  against  the  opinion  of  Mr. 
Frankpledge.     But 

Mr.  Frankpledge  quoted  so  many  cases,  and  went  to 
the  bottom  of  everything,  and  gave  so  much  for  his 
money  —  and  was  so  civil !  — 


TEN    THOUSAND   A-VK.VK.  97 

Well,  the  consultation  came  oft',  at  length,  at  Mr.  Mort- 
main's chambers,  at  eight  o'clock  in  the  evening.  A  few 
minutes  before  that  hour,  Messrs.  Quirk  and  Gammon 
were  to  be  Been  in  the  clerk's  room,  in  civil  conversation 
with  that  prim  functionary,  who  explained  to  them  that 
he  did  all  Mr.  Mortmain's  drafting  —  pupils  were  so  idle; 
that  Mr.  Mortmain  did  not  score  out  much  of  what  he 
(the  aforesaid  clerk)  had  drawn;  that  he  noted  up  Mr. 
Mortmain's  new  cases  for  him  in  the  reports,  Mr.  M. 
having  so  little  time;  and  that  the  other  day  the  Vice- 
Chancellor  called  on  Mr.  Mortmain  —  with  several  other 
matters  of  that  sort,  calculated  to  enhance  the  importance 
of  Mr.  Mortmain  ;  who,  as  the  clerk  was  asking  Mr.  Gam- 
mon,  in  a  good-natured  way,  how  long  Mr.  Frankpledge 
had  been  in  practice,  and  where  his  chambers  were  — 
made  his  appearance,  with  a  cheerful  look  and  a  bustling 
gait,  having  just  walked  down  from  his  house  in  Queen's 
Square,  with  a  comfortable  bottle  of  old  port  on  board. 
Shortly  afterwards  Mr.  Frankpledge  arrived,  followed  by 
his  little  clerk,  bending  beneath  two  bags  of  books,  (un- 
conscious bearer  of  as  much  law  as  had  well-nigh  split 
thousands  of  learned  heads,  and  broken  tens  of  thous- 
ands of  hearts,  in  the  making  of,  being  destined  to  have 
a  similar  but  far  greater  effect  in  the  applying  of,) 
and  the  consultation  began. 

A-  Frankpledge  entered,  he  could  not  help  casting  a 
sheep's  eye  towards  a  table  that  glistened  with  such  an 
array  of  "  papers,"  (a  tasteful  arrangement  of  Mr.  Mort- 
main's clerk  before  every  consultation  ;)  and  down  sat 
the  two  conveyancers  and  the  two  attorneys.  I  devoutly 
wish  I  had  time  to  describe  the  scene  at  length  ;  but 
greater  events  are  pressing  upon  me.  The  two  convey- 
ancers fenced  with  one  another  for  some  time  very  guard- 
edly and  good-humoredly :  pleasant  was  it  to  observe  the 
conscious  condescension  of  Mortmain,  the  anxious  energy 
vol.  i.  —  7 


98  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

and  volubility  of  Frankpledge.  When  Mr.  Mortmain 
said  anything  that  seemed  weighty  or  pointed,  Quirk 
looked  with  an  elated  air,  a  quiek  triumphant  glanee,  at 
Gammon  ;  who,  in  his  turn,  whenever  Mr.  Frankpledge 
quoted  an  "old  ease  "  from  Bendloe,  Godbolt,  or  the  Year 
Books,  (which,  having  always  piqued  himself  on  his  al- 
most exclusive  acquaintance  with  the  modern  cases,  he 
made  a  point  of  doing,)  gazed  at  Quirk  with  a  smile  of 
placid  superiority.  Mr.  Frankpledge  talked  almost  the 
whole  time ;  Mr.  Mortmain,  immovable  in  the  view  of  the 
case  which  he  had  taken  in  his  "  opinion,"  listened  with 
an  attentive,  good-natured  air,  ruminating  pleasantly  the 
while  upon  the  quality  of  the  port  he  had  been  drinking, 
(the  first  of  the  bin  which  he  had  tasted,)  and  upon  the 
decision  which  the  Chancellor  might  come  to  on  a  case 
brought  into  court  on  his  advice,  and  which  had  been 
argued  that  afternoon.  At  last  Frankpledge  unwittingly 
fell  foul  of  a  favorite  crotchet  of  Mortmain's  —  and  at  it 
they  went,  hammer  and  tongs,  for  nearly  twenty  minutes, 
(it  had  nothing  whatever  to  do  with  the  case  they  were 
consulting  upon.)  In  the  end,  Mortmain  of  course  ad- 
hered to  his  points,  and  Frankpledge  intrenched  himself 
in  his  books ;  each  slightly  yielded  to  the  views  of  the 
other  on  immaterial  points,  (or  w7hat  would  have  appeared 
the  use  of  the  consultation  ])  but  did  that  which  both 
had  resolved  upon  doing  from  the  first,  i.  e.  sticking  to 
his  original  opinion.  Both  had  talked  an  amazing  deal 
of  deep  law,  which  had  at  least  one  effect,  viz.  it  fairly 
drowned  both  Quirk  and  Gammon,  who,  as  they  went 
home,  with  not  (it  must  be  owned)  the  clearest  percep- 
tions in  the  world  of  what  had  been  going  on,  (though, 
before  going  to  the  consultation,  each  had  really  known 
something  about  the  case,)  stood  each  stoutly  by  his  con- 
veyancer's opinion,  each  protesting  that  he  had  never 
been  once  misled  —  Quirk  by  Mortmain,  or  Gammon  by 


TEN   THOUSAND   A-YKAU.  99 

Frankpledge  —  and  each  resolved  to  give  his  man  more 
of  the  conveyancing  business  of  the  house  than  he  had 
before.  I  grieve  to  add,  that  they  parted  that  night  with 
a  trifle  less  of  cordiality  than  had  been  their  wont.  In 
the  morning,  however,  this  little  irritation  had  passed 
away  :  and  they  agreed,  before  giving  up  the  ease,  to 
take  the  final  opinion  of  Mr.  Tresatle  —  the  great  Mr. 
Tresayle.  lie  was,  indeed,  a  wonderful  conveyancer  — 
a  perfect  miracle  of  real-property  law-learning.  He  had 
had  Buch  an  enormous  practice  for  forty-five  years,  that 
fa-  tlte  last  ten  lie  had  never  put  his  nose  out  of  chambers 
for  pure  want  of  time,  and  at  last  of  inclination  ;  and  had 
been  so  conversant  with  Norman  French  and  law  Latin, 
in  the  old  English  letter,  that  he  had  almost  entirely 
forgotten  how  to  write  the  modern  English  character. 
II  -  pinions  made  their  appearance  in  three  different 
kinds  of  handwriting.  First,  one  that  none  but  he  and 
his  old  clerk  could  make  out;  secondly,  one  that  none 
but  lie  himself  could  read;  and  thirdly,  one  that  neither 
he.  nor  his  clerk,  nor  any  one  on  earth,  could  decipher. 
The  use  of  any  one  of  these  styles  depended  on  —  the 
difficulty  of  the  case  to  be  answered.  If  it  were  an  easy 
one,  the  answer  was  very  judiciously  put  into  No.  I. ;  if 
rather  difficult,  it,  of  course,  went  into  No.  H.  ;  and  if 
lingly  difficult,  (and  also  important,)  it  was  very 
properly  thrown  into  No.  III.  ;  being  a  question  that 
really  ought  not  to  have  been  asked,  and  did  not  deserve 
an  answer.  The  fruit  within  these  uncouth  shells,  how- 
was  precious.  Mr.  Tresayle's  law  was  supreme  over 
everybody's  else.  It  was  currently  reported  that  Lord 
i  even  (who  was  himself  slightly  acquainted  with 
such  subjects)  reverently  deferred  to  the  authority  of  Mr. 
and  would  lie  winking  and  knitting  his  shaggy 
eyebrows  half  the  night,  if  he  thought  that  Mr.  Tresayle's 
opinion  on  a  case,  and  his  own,  differed.     This  was  the 


100  TEN   THOUSAND   A- YEAR. 

great  authority  to  whom,  as  in  the  last  resort,  Messrs. 
Quirk,  Gammon,  and  Snap  resolved  to  appeal.  To  his 
chambers  they,  within  a  day  or  two  after  their  consulta- 
tion at  Mr.  Mortmain's,  despatched  their  case,  (making  no 
mention  of  the  opinion  which  had  been  previously  taken,) 
with  a  highly  respectable  fee,  and  a  special  compliment  to 
Ins  clerk,  hoping  to  hear  from  that  awful  quarter  within 
a  month  —  which  was  the  earliest  average  period  wTithin 
which  Mr.  Tresayle's  opinions  found  their  way  to  his  pa- 
tient but  anxious  clients.  It  came  at  length,  with  a  note 
from  Mr.  Prim,  his  clerk,  intimating  that  they  would 
find  him,  i.  e.  the  aforesaid  Mr.  Prim,  at  his  chambers  the 
next  morning,  prepared  to  explain  the  opinion  to  them  ; 
having  just  had  it  read  over  to  him  by  Mr.  Tresayle,  for 
it  proved  to  be  in  No.  IT.  The  opinion  occupied  about 
two  pages;  and  the  handwriting  bore  a  strong  resem- 
blance to  Chinese  or  Arabic,  with  a  quaint  intermixture 
of  the  uncial  Greek  character  —  it  was  impossible  to  con- 
template it  without  a  certain  feeling  of  awe  !  In  vain  did 
old  Quirk  squint  at  it,  from  all  corners,  for  nearly  a  couple 
of  hours,  (having  first  called  in  the  assistance  of  a  friend 
of  his,  an  old  attorney  of  upwards  of  fifty  years'  stand- 
ing;) nay  —  even  Mr.  Gammon,  foiled  at  length,  could 
not  for  the  life  of  him  refrain  from  a  soft  curse  or  two. 
Neither  of  them  could  make  anything  of  it  —  (as  for 
Snap,  they  never  showed  it  to  him  ;  it  was  not  within  his 
province  —  i.  e.  the  Insolvent  Debtors'  Court,  the  Old 
Bailey,  the  Clerkenwell  Sessions,  the  Police  Offices,  the 
inferior  business  of  the  Common  Law  Courts,  and  the 
worrying  of  the  clerks  of  the  office  —  a  department  in 
which  he  was  perfection  itself.) 

To  their  great  delight,  Mr.  Tresayle  took  Mr.  Mort- 
main's view  of  the  case.  Nothing  could  be  more  terse, 
perspicuous,  and  conclusive  than  the  great  man's  opinion. 
Mr.  Quirk  was  in  raptures,  and  that  very  day  sent  to 


TEX  THOUSAND  A-YF.A1!.  101 

procure  an  engraving  of  Mr.  Tresayle,  which  had  lately 
come  out,  for  which   he  paid  5s.,  and  ordered  it  to  be 

framed  and  hung  up  in  his  own  room,  whore  already 
grinned  a  quaint  resemblance,  in  black  profile,  of  Mr. 
Mortmain,  cheek  by  jowl  with  that  of  a  notorious  trai- 
t  r  who  had  been  hanged  in  spite  of  Mr.  Quirk's  best 
exertions.  In  special  good-humor,  lie  assured  Mr.  Gam- 
mon, (who  was  plainly  somewhat  crestfallen  about  Mr. 
Frankpledge.)  that  everybody  must  have  a  beginning  ; 
that  even  he  himself  (Mr.  Quirk)  had  been  once  only 
a  beginner. 

Once  fairly  on  the  scent,  Messrs.  Quirk  and  Gammon 
soon  began,  secretly  but  energetically,  to  push  their  in- 
quiries in  all  directions.  They  discovered  that  Gabriel  Tit- 
tlebat Titmouse,  having  spent  the  chief  portion  of  his 
blissful  days  as  a  cobbler  at  Whitehaven,  had  died  in 
London,  somewhere  about  the  year  1793.  At  this  point 
they  Btood  for  a  long  while,  in  spite  of  two  advertise- 
ments, to  which  they  had  been  driven  with  the  greatest 
reluctance,  for  fear  of  attracting  the  attention  of  those 
most  interested  in  thwarting  their  efforts.  Even  that 
part  of  the  affair  had  been  managed  somewhat  skilfully. 
It  was  a  stroke  of  Mr.  Gammon's  to  advertise  not  for 
"  Heir-at-Law,"  but  "  Next  of  Kin,"  as  the  reader  has 
seen.  The  former  might  have  challenged  the  notice  of 
unfriendly  curiosity,  which  the  latter  was  hardly  calcu- 
lated to  attract.  At  length  —  at  the  "third  time  of  ask- 
ing"—  up  turned  Tittlebat  Titmouse,  in  the  way  which 
we  have  seen.  His  relationship  with  Mr.  Gabriel  Tittle- 
bat Titmouse  was  indisputable;  in  fact,  he  was  (to  adopt 
his  own  words)  that  "  deceased  person's  "  son  and  heir- 
atdaw. 

The  reader  may  guess  the  chagrin  and  disgust  of  Mr. 
Gammon  at  the  appearance,  manners,  and  character  of 
the  person  whom  he  fully  believed,  on  first  seeing  him  at 


102  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

Messrs.  Tag-rag's,  to  be  the  rightful  owner  of  the  fine 
estates  held  by  one  who,  as  against  Mr.  Titmouse,  had  no 
more  real  title  to  them  than  had  Mr.  Tag-rag ;  and  for 
whom  their  house  was  to  undertake  the  very  grave  risk 
and  expense  of  instituting  such  proceedings  as  would 
be  requisite  to  place  Mr.  Titmouse  in  the  position  which 
they  believed  him  entitled  to  occupy  —  having  to  en- 
counter a  hot  and  desperate  opposition  at  every  point, 
from  those  who  had  nine-tenths  of  the  law  —  to  wit,  pos- 
session.—  on  their  side,  on  which  they  stood  as  upon  a 
rock ;  and  with  immense  means  for  carrying  on  the  war 
defensive.  That  Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon,  and  Snap  did 
not  contemplate  undertaking  all  this,  without  having 
calculated  upon  its  proving  wrell  worthy  their  while,  was 
only  reasonable.  They  were  going  voluntarily  to  become 
the  means  of  conferring  immense  benefits  upon  one  who 
was  a  total  stranger  to  them  —  who  had  not  a  penny  to 
spend  upon  the  prosecution  of  his  own  rights.  Setting 
aside  certain  difficulties  which  collected  themselves  into 
two  awkward  words,  Maintenance  and  Champerty,  and 
stared  them  in  the  face  whenever  they  contemplated  any 
obvious  method  of  securing  the  just  reward  of  their  en- 
terprise and  toils  —  setting  aside  all  this,  I  say,  it  might 
turn  out,  only  after  a  ruinous  expenditure  had  been  in<- 
curred,  that  the  high  authorities  which  had  sanctioned 
their  proceedings  in  point  of  law,  had  expressed  their 
favorable  opinions  on  a  state  of  facts,  which,  however  sat- 
isfactorily they  looked  on  paper,  could  not  be  substan- 
tiated, if  keenly  sifted,  and  determinedly  resisted.  All 
this,  too  —  all  their  time,  labor,  and  money,  to  go  for 
nothing  —  on  behalf  of  a  vulgar,  selfish,  ignorant,  pre- 
sumptuous, ungrateful  puppy,  like  Titmouse  !  —  Well  in- 
deed, therefore,  might  Mr.  Gammon,  as  we  have  seen  he 
did,  give  himself  and  partners  a  forty-eight  hours'  in- 
terval, between  his  interview  with  Titmouse  and  formal 


TEN    THOUSAND   A-YEAU.  103 

introduction  of  him  to  the  firm,  in  which  to  consider 
their  position  and  mode  of  procedure.  The  taste  of  his 
quality  which  that  first  interview  afforded  them  all  —  so 
tar  surpassing  all  that  the  bitter  description  of  him  given 
to  them  by  Mr.  Gammon  had  prepared  them  for  —  filled 
the  partners  with  inexpressible  disgust,  and  would  have 
induced  them  to  throw  up  the  whole  affair — so  getting 
rid  both  of  it,  and  of  him,  together.  But  then,  on  the 
other  hand,  there  were  certain  very  great  advantages, 
both  of  a  professional  and  even  directly  pecuniary  kind, 
which  it  would  have  been  madness  indeed  for  any  office 
lightly  to  throw  away.  It  was  really,  after  all,  an  un- 
equal struggle  between  feeling  and  interest.  If  they 
should  succeed  in  unseating  the  present  wrongful  pos- 
sessor of  a  very  splendid  property,  and  putting  in  his 
place  the  rightful  owner,  by  means  alone  of  their  own 
professional  ability,  perseverance,  and  heavy  pecuniary 
outlay,  (a  fearful  consideration,  truly,  but  Mr.  Quirk  had 
scraped  together  some  thirty  thousand  pounds  !)  wrhat 
recompense  could  be  too  great  for  such  resplendent  ser- 
vices? To  say  nothing  of  the  eclat  which  it  wTould  gain 
for  their  office,  in  the  profession  and  in  the  world  at 
Large,  and  the  substantial  and  permanent  advantages  to 
the  firm,  if,  as  they  ought  to  be,  they  were  intrusted  with 
the  general  management  of  the  property  by  the  new  and 
inexperienced  and  confiding  owner  —  ay,  but  there  was 
the  rub  !  What  a  disheartening  and  disgusting  speci- 
men of  such  new  owner  had  disclosed  itself  to  their 
anxiously  expecting  but  soon  recoiling  eyes  —  always, 
however,  making  due  allowances  for  one  or  two  cheering 
indications,  on  Mr.  Titmouse's  part,  of  a  certain  rapacious 
and  litigious  humor,  which  might  hereafter  right  pleas- 
antly and  ] profitably  occupy  their  energies  !  Their  pro- 
fessional position,  and  their  interests  had  long  made  them 
sharp  observers ;  but  when  did  ever  before  low  and  dis- 


104  TEN   THOUSAND   A- YEAR. 

gusting  qualities  force  themselves  into  revolting  promi- 
nence, as  those  of  Mr.  Titmouse  had  done,  in  the  very 
moment  of  an  expected  display  of  the  better  feelings  of 
human  nature  —  such  as  enthusiastic  gratitude]  They 
had,  in  their  time,  had  to  deal  with  some  pleasant  spec- 
imens of  humanity,  to  be  sure  ;  but  when  with  any  more 
odious  and  impracticable  than  Tittlebat  Titmouse  threat- 
ened to  prove  himself?  What  hold  could  they  get  upon 
such  a  character  as  his  1  Beneath  all  his  coarseness 
and  weakness,  there  was  a  glimmer  of  low  cunning  which 
might  suffice  to  keep  their  superior  and  practised  astute- 
ness at  its  full  stretch.  These  were  difficulties,  cheerless 
enough  in  the  contemplation,  truly  :  but,  nevertheless, 
the  partners  could  not  bear  the  idea  of  escaping  from 
them  by  throwing  up  the  affair  altogether.  Then  came 
the  question  —  How  were  they  to  manage  Mr.  Titmouse  ] 
—  how  acquire  an  early  and  firm  hold  of  him,  so  as 
to  convert  him  into  a  capital  client  ?  His  fears  and 
his  interests  were  obviously  the  engines  with  which 
their  experienced  hands  were  to  work ;  and  several  long 
and  most  anxious  consultations  had  Messrs.  Quirk  and 
Gammon  had  on  this  important  matter.  The  first 
great  question  with  them  was  —  To  what  extent,  and 
when,  they  should  acquaint  him  with  the  nature  of 
his  expectations. 

Gammon  was  for  keeping  him  comparatively  in  the 
dark,  till  success  wras  within  reach  :  during  that  interval, 
(which  might  be  a  long  one,)  by  alternately  stimulating 
his  hopes  and  fears ;  by  habituating  him  to  an  entire  de- 
pendence on  them ;  by  persuading  him  of  the  prodigious 
extent  of  their  exertions  and  sacrifices  on  his  behalf  — 
they  might  do  something;  mould  him  into  a  shape  fit 
for  their  purposes,  and  persuade  him  that  his  affairs  must 
needs  go  to  ruin  but  in  their  hands.  Something  like  this 
was  the  scheme  of  the  cautious,  acute,  and  placid  Gam- 


TEN    THOUSAND    A-YKAU.  105 

mon.  Mr.  Quirk,  however,  (with  whom,  as  will  be  here- 
after shown,  had  originated  the  whole  discovery,)  thought 
thus  :  —  tell  the  fellow  at  once  the  whole  extent  of  what 
we  can  do  for  him,  viz.  turn  a  halt-starving  linen-draper's 

shopman  into  the  owner  of  £10,000  a-year,  and  of  a 
great  store  of  ready  money.  This  will,  in  a  manner, 
stun  him  into  submission,  and  make  him  at  once  and  for 
all  what  we  want  him  to  be.  He  will  immediately  fall 
prostrate  with  reverent  gratitude — looking  at  us,  more- 
over, as  three  gods,  who,  at  our  will,  can  shut  him  out 
of  heaven.  "  That's  the  way  to  bring  down  your  bird," 
said  Mr.  Quirk  ;  ami  Mr.  Quirk  had  been  forty  years  in 
practice  —  had  made  the  business  what  it  was  —  still 
held  half  of  it  in  his  own  hands,  (two-thirds  of  the  re- 
maining half  being  Gammon's,  and  the  residue  Snap's:) 
and  Gammon,  moreover,  had  a  very  distinct  perception 
that  the  funds  for  carrying  on  the  war  would  come  out 
of  the  tolerably  well-stored  pockets  of  the  august  head  of 
the  firm.  So,  after  a  long  discussion,  he  openly  yielded 
his  "pinion  to  that  of  Mr.  Quirk  —  cherishing,  however,  a 
very  warm  respect  for  it  in  his  own  bosom.  As  for  Snap, 
that  distinguished  member  of  the  firm  was  very  little  con- 
sulted in  the  matter  ;  which  had  not  yet  been  brought  to 
that  stage  where  his  powerful  energies  could  come  into 
play.  He  had  of  course,  however,  heard  a  good  deal  of 
what  was  going  on;  and  knew  that  ere  long  there  would 
be  the  copying  out  and  serving  of  the  Lord  knows  how 
many  copies  of  declarations  in  ejectment,  motions  against 
the  casual  ejector,  and  so  forth  —  so  far  at  least  as  he 
-  ••  u};  to"  all  those  quaint  and  anomalous  proceedings. 
It  had,  therefore,  been  at  length  agreed  that  the  commu- 
nication to  Titmouse,  on  his  first  interview,  of  the  full 
extent  of  his  splendid  expectations,  should  depend  upon 
the  discretion  of  Mr.  Quirk.  The  reader  has  seen  the  lin- 
ed turn  which  matters  took  upon  that  important 


106  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

occasion ;  and  if  it  proved  Quirk's  policy  to  be  somewhat 
inferior  in  point  of  discretion  and  long-sightedness  to 
that  of  Gammon,  still  it  must  be  owned  that  the  latter 
had  cause  to  admire  the  rapid  generalship  with  which 
Mr.  Quirk  had  obviated  the  consequences  of  his  false 
move  —  not  ill  seconded  by  Snap.  What  could  have 
been  more  judicious  than  his  reception  of  Titmouse,  on 
the  occasion  of  his  being  led  in  again  by  the  subtle 
Gammon  1 

The  next  and  greatest  matter  was,  how  to  obtain  any 
hold  upon  such  a  person  as  Titmouse  had  shown  himself, 
so  as  to  secure  to  themselves,  in  the  event  of  success,  the 
remuneration  to  which  they  considered  themselves  en- 
titled. Was  it  so  perfectly  clear  that,  if  he  felt  dis- 
posed to  resist  it,  they  could  compel  him  to  pay  the  mere 
amount  of  their  bill  of  costs  ? 

Suppose  he  should  turn  round  upon  them,  and  have 
their  Bill  taxed  —  Mr.  Quirk  grunted  with  fright  at  the 
bare  thought.  Then  there  was  a  slapping  qulddam  honora- 
rium extra  —  undoubtedly  for  that  they  must,  they  feared, 
trust  to  the  honor  and  gratitude  of  Mr.  Titmouse  ;  and  a 
pretty  taste  of  the  quality  of  that  animal  they  had  already 
experienced  !  Such  a  disposition  as  his,  to  have  to  rely 
upon  for  the  prompt  settlement  of  a  bill  of  thousands  of 
pounds  of  costs !  and,  besides  that,  to  have  it  to  look 
to  for  the  payment  of  at  least  some  five  or  perhaps  ten 
thousand  pounds  douceur  —  nay,  and  this  was  not  all. 
Mr.  Quirk  had,  as  well  as  Mr  Gammon,  cast  many  an 
anxious  eye  on  the  following  passages  from  Blackstone's 
Commentaries :  — 

"  Maintenance  is  an  officious  intermeddling  in  a  suit  that 
no  way  belongs  to  one,  by  'maintaining'  or  assisting  either 
party  with  money,  or  otherwise,  to  prosecute  or  defend  it.  .  .  . 
It  is  an  offence  against  public  justice,  as  it  keeps  alive  strife 
and  contention,  and  perverts  the  remedial  process  of  the  law 


TEN    rHOUSAND  A-VK.u:.  107 

into  an  engine  of  oppression.  .  .  .  The  punishment  by  com- 
mon law  is  fine  and  imprisonment,  and  by  Btatute  32  Hen.  VIII. 
c  0.  a  forfeiture  of/lO! 

"Champerti  —  (campi  partitio)  —  is  a  Bpecies  of  Mainte- 
nance, and  punished  in  the  same  manner  ;  being  a  bargain  with 
a  plaintiff  or  defendant  %campwtn  parforo,'  to  divide  the  land,  or 
other  matter  sued  for,  between  them,  if  they  prevail  at  law; 
whereupon  the  champertor  is  to  carry  on  the  suit  at  his  own 
expense.  .  .  .  These  pests  of  civil  society,  that  arc  perpetually 
endeavoring  to  disturb  the  repose  of  their  neighbors,  and  offi- 
ciously interfering  in  other  men's  quarrels,  even  at  the  hazard 
of  their  own  fortunes,  were  severely  animadverted  on  by  the 
Roman  Law;  and  they  were  punished  by  the  forfeiture  of  a 
third  part  of  their  goods,  and  perpetual  infamy."4 

These  were  pleasant  passages  surely  ! 

Many  were  the  conversations  and  consultations  which 
the  partners  had  had  with  Messrs.  Mortmain  and  Frank- 
pledge respectively,  upon  the  interesting  question,  whether 
there  were  any  mode  of  at  once  securing  themselves  against 
the  ingratitude  of  Titmouse,  and  protecting  themselves 
against  the  penalties  of  the  law.  It  made  old  Mr.  Quirk's 
bald  head,  even,  Hush  all  over  whenever  he  thought  of 
their  bill  being  taxed,  or  contemplated  himself  the  inmate 
of  a  prison,  (above  all,  at  his  advanced  time  of  life,)  with 
mournful  leisure  to  meditate  upon  the  misdeeds  that  had 
sent  him  thither,  to  which  profitable  exercise  the  legisla- 
ture would  have  specially  stimulated  him  by  a  certain  fine 
above  mentioned.  As  for  Gammon,  he  knew  there  must 
be  a  way  of  doing  the  thing  somehow  or  another  ;  for 
his  friend  Frankpledge  felt  infinitely  less  difficulty  in  the 
way  than  Mortmain,  whom  he  considered  a  timid  and  old- 
fashioned  practitioner.  The  courts,  said  Mr.  Frankpledge, 
now  setting  their  faces  strongly  against  the  doctrine 
of  Maintenance,  as  being  founded  on  a  bygone  state  of 
things:  eessi hi tr  rations  cessai  et  ipsa  l<>\  was  his  favorite 
maxim.      There  was  no  wrong  without  a  remedy,  he  said  ; 


108  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAK. 

and  was  there  not  a  ivrong  in  the  case  of  a  poor  man 
wrongfully  deprived  of  his  own  1  And  how  could  this 
be  remedied,  if  the  old  law  of  Maintenance  stood  like  a 
bugbear  in  the  way  of  humane  and  spirited  practitioners  1 
Was  no  one  to  be  at  liberty  to  take  up  the  cause  of  the  op- 
pressed, encouraged  by  the  prospect  of  an  ample  recom- 
pense 1  It  might  be  said,  perhaps  —  let  the  claimant  sue 
in  formd  pauperis :  but  then  he  must  swear  that  he  is  not 
worth  five  pounds ;  and  a  man  may  not  be  able  to  take 
that  oath,  and  yet  be  unequal  to  the  commencement  of 
a  suit  requiring  the  outlay  of  thousands.  Moreover,  a 
pretty  prospect  it  was  for  such  a  suitor,  (in  formd  paur 
jjeris,)  if  he  should  happen  to  be  nonsuited  —  to  be  "put 
to  his  election,  whether  to  be  whipped  or  pay  the  costs."  5 
Thus  reasoned  writhin  himself  that  astute  person,  Mr. 
Frankpledge ;  and  at  length  satisfied  himself  that  he  had 
framed  an  instrument  which  would  "  meet  the  case  "  — 
that  "  would  hold  water."  To  the  best  of  my  recollection, 
it  was  a  bond,  conditioned  to  pay  the  sum  of  ten  thousand 
pounds  to  Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon,  and  Snap,  within  two 
months  of  Titmouse's  being  put  into  possession  of  the  rents 
and  profits  of  the  estate  in  question.  The  condition  of  that 
bond  was,  as  its  framer  believed,  drawn  in  a  masterly  man- 
ner; and  his  draft  was  lying  before  Messrs.  Quirk,  Gam- 
mon, and  Snap,  on  the  Wednesday  morning,  (i.  e.  the  day 
after  Titmouse's  interview  with  them,)  and  had  succeeded 
at  length  in  exciting  the  approbation  of  Mr.  Quirk  himself; 
when  —  whew!  —  down  came  a  note  from  Mr.  Frankpledge, 
to  the  effect  that,  "  since  preparing  the  draft  bond,"  he  had 
"  had  reason  slightly  to  modify  his  original  opinion,"  owing 
to  his  "having  lit  upon  a  late  case,"  in  which  an  instru- 
ment precisely  similar  to  the  one  which  he  had  prepared 
for  his  admiring  clients,  had  been  held  "  totally  ineffectual 
and  void  both  at  law  and  in  equit}T."  I  say,  Mr.  Frank- 
pledge's  note  was  to  that  effect ;  for  so  ingeniously  had  he 


TEN    THOUSAND    A-YKA1I.  10'J 

framed  it  —  so  effectually  concealed  bis  retreat  beneath  a 
little  cloud  of  contradictory  authorities,  like  as  the  ink-fish, 

they  say,  eludeth  its  pursuers  —  that  his  clients  cursed  the 
law,  not  their  draftsman  ;  and,  moreover,  by  prudently 

withholding  the  name  of  the  "late  case,"  he,  at  all  events 
for  a  while,  had  prevented  their  observing  that  it  was  senior 
to  some  eight  or  ten  cases  which  (indefatigable  man!) 
he  had  culled  for  them  out  of  the  legal  garden,  and  ar- 
rayed on  the  back  of  his  draft.  Slightly  disconcerted  were 
Messrs.  Quirk  and  Gammon,  it  may  be  believed,  at  this 
new  view  of  the  "  result  of  the  authorities."  "  Mortmain  is 
always  right !  "  said  Quirk,  looking  hard  at  Gammon  ;  who 
observed  simply  that  one  day  Frankpledge  would  be  as 
old  as  Mortmain  then  was  —  by  which  time  (thought  he) 
I  also  know  where  —  please  God  —  you  will  be,  my  old 
friend,  if  there's  any  truth  in  the  Scriptures!  In  this 
pleasant  frame  of  mind  were  the  partners,  when  the  im- 
pudent apparition  of  Huckaback  presented  itself,  in  the 
manner  which  has  been  described.  Huckaback's  commen- 
tary upon  the  disgusting  text  of  Titmouse  over-night,  (as 
a  lawyer  would  say,  in  analogy  to  a  well-known  term, 
e  upon  Littleton,")  produced  an  effect  upon  their 
minds  which  may  be  easily  imagined.  It  was  while 
their  minds  were  under  these  two  soothing  influences, 
i.  e.  of  the  insolence  of  Huckaback  and  the  vacillation 
of  Frankpledge,  that  Mr.  Gammon  had  penned  the 
note  to  Titmouse,  (surely,  under  the  circumstances,  one 
of  extraordinary  temper  and  forbearance,)  which  had  occa- 
sioned him  the  agonies  I  have  been  attempting  faintly  to 
describe;  —  and  that  Quirk,  summoning  Snap  into  the 
room,  had  requested  him  to  give  orders  for  denial  to  Tit- 
mouse if  he  should  again  make  his  appearance  at  the 
office  ;  which  injunction  Snap  forthwith  delivered  in  the 
clerk's  room,  in  a  tone  and  manner  that  were  a  very 
model  of  the  imperative  mood. 


110  TEN    THOUSAND   A-YEAlt. 

A  day  or  two  afterwards,  Mr.  Quirk,  (who  was  a  man 
that  stuck  like  a  limpet  to  a  rock  to  any  point  which  oc- 
curred to  him,)  in  poring  over  that  page  in  the  fourth 
volume  of  Blackstone's  Commentaries,  where  were  to  be 
found  the  passages  which  have  been  already  quoted,  (and 
which  both  Quirk  and  Gammon  had  long  had  off  by  heart,) 
as  he  sat  one  day  at  dinner,  at  home,  whither  he  had  taken 
the  volume  in  question,  fancied  he  had  at  last  hit  upon  a 
notable  crotchet,  which,  the  more  he  thought  of,  the  more 
he  was  struck  with  ;  determining  to  pay  a  visit  in  the 
morning  to  Mr.  Mortmain.  The  spark  of  light  that  had 
twinkled  till  it  kindled  in  the  tinder  of  his  mind,  was 
struck  by  his  hard  head  out  of  the  following  sentence  of 
the  text  in  question  :  — 

"  A  man  may,  however,  maintain  the  suit  of  his  near  kins- 
man, servant,  or  poor  neighbor,  out  of  charity  and  comjmssion, 
with  impunity ;  otherwise,  the  punishment  is,"  &c.  &c.6 

Now,  it  seemed  to  Mr.  Quirk,  that  the  words  which  I 
have  placed  in  italics  and  small  capitals,  met  the  case  of 
poor  Tittlebat  Titmouse  exactly.  He  stuck  to  that  view 
of  the  case,  till  he  almost  began  to  think  that  he  really 
had  a  kind  of  a  sort  of  a  charity  and  compassion  for  poor 
Tittlebat  —  kept  out  of  his  rights  —  tyrannized  over  by 
a  vulgar  draper  in  Oxford  Street  —  where,  too,  no  doubt, 
he  was  half  starved.  —  "  It 's  a  great  blessing  that  one 's 
got  the  means  —  and  the  inclination,  to  serve  one's  poor 
neighbors  "  —  thought  Quirk,  as  he  swallowed  glass  after 
glass  of  the  ivine  that  maheth  glad  the  heart  of  man  —  and 
also  softens  it ;  —  for  the  more  he  drank,  the  more  and 
more  pitiful  became  his  mood  —  the  more  sensitive  was 
he  to  compassionate  suggestions  ;  and  by  the  time  that 
he  had  finished  the  decanter,  he  was  all  but  in  tears ! 
These  virtuous  feelings  brought  their  own  reward,  too  — 
for,  from  time  to  time,  they  conjured  up,  as  it  were,  the 


TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR.  Ill 

faint  rainbow  image  of  a  bond  conditioned  for  the  pay- 
ment of  Ten  Thousand  I'tm's  '. 

1  the  metaphor  a  little  —  by  the  time  that 

old  Quirk   had  reached   his  office   in   the  morning,   the 

heated  iron  had  cooled.  If  his  heart  had  retained  any 
of  the  maudlin  softness  ^{'  the  preceding  evening,  the  fol- 
lowing pathetic  letter  from  Titmouse  might  have  made  a 
very  deep  impression  upon  it,  and  fixed  him,  in  the  be- 
nevolent and  disinterested  mind  of  the  old  lawyer,  as 
indeed  his  "poor  neighbor."  The  following  is  an  exact 
copy  of  that  lucid  and  eloquent  composition.  It  had 
been  written  by  Mr.  Titmouse,  all  out  of  his  own  head  ; 
and  with  his  own  hand  had  he  left  it  at  the  office,  at  a 
late  hour  on  the  preceding  evening. 

••  To  Messrs.  Querk,  Gamon,  and  Sxape. 

NTS, 

••  Vr  Esteem  VI  Favor  lies  now  before  Me,  which  must  Say  have 
Given  me  Much  Concern,  seeing  I  Thought  it  was  All  Made 
up  betwixt  as  That  was  of  Such  an  Unpleasant  Nature  on 
Tuesday  night  (ultimo)  wh  I  most  humbly  Own  (and  Ac- 
knowledge)  was  all  alone  and  intirely  of  My  Own  Fault,  and 
-:  Four's  which  behaved  to  me,  Must  say,  In 
the  in  tful  and  superior  manner  that  was  possible  to 

think  ( > '.  for  I  truly  Say  I  never  was  In  the  Company  of  Such 
Imminent  and  Superior  Gents  before  In  my  Lite  wb  will  take 
my  <  I  sly  Of,  Gents.     Please  to  consider  the  Brandy 

(wL  </<  think  was  Uncommon  Stiff)  such  a  flnstrum  As  I  was 
lube:  was  Evident  to  All  of  Us  there  then  Assem- 

ble and  very  natral  like  to  be  the  Case  Seeing  I  have  nevir 
known  what  Peas  of  Mind  was  since  I  behaved  in  Such  a  Ou- 
v  w*  truly  was  the  case  I  can't   Deny  to  Such  Gents 
reelfa  that  were  doing  me  such  Good  Fortune  And  Kind- 
us  it  would  Be  a  Dreadful  sin  and  shame  (such  as 
i  can   never  he  Guilty  of)  to  be  (wh  am   not)  and   never 
Of,  Gents  do  Consider  aH  this  Favorably 
:  my  humble  Amend-;  wh  I  here  Make  with  the  great- 


112  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAE. 

est  Trouble  in  my  Mind  that  I  have  Had  Ever  Since,  it  was 
all  of  the  Sperrits  I  Tooke  \vh  made  me  Go  On  at  such  a  Rate 
wh  was  always  (beg  to  Assure  yr  most  respe  house)  the  Case 
Since  my  birth  when  I  took  Sperrits  never  so  little  Since  I  had 
the  Meazles  when  I  was  3  Years  Old  as  I  Well  Recollect  and 
hope  it  will  be  Born  in  Mind  what  is  Often  Said,  and  I'm 
Sure  I  've  read  it  Somewhere  Else  that  People  that  Is  Drunk 
Always  speaks  the  Direct  Contrarywise  of  their  True  and  Real 
Thoughts.  (wh  am  Certain  never  was  any  Thing  Truer  in  my 
case)  so  as  I  get  the  Money  or  What  not,  do  whatever  you  Like 
wb  are  quite  welcome  to  Do  if  you  please,  and  No  questions 
Asked,  don't  Mind  saying  by  The  Way  It  shall  Be  As  Good 
as  ,£200  note  in  The  way  of  your  respe  House  if  I  Get  the  Es- 
tate of  wh  am  much  in  Want  of.  Mr.  Gamon  (wh  is  the  most 
Upright  gent  that  ever  I  came  across  in  All  my  Life)  will  tell 
you  that  I  Was  Quite  Cut  up  when  he  came  After  me  in  that 
kind  Way  and  told  him  Then  how  I  loved  yr  Respect*  House 
and  would  do  all  In  My  power  to  Serve  You,  which  see  if  I 
Don't,  I  was  in  Such  a  rage  with  that  Fellow  (He 's  only  in  a 
Situation  in  Tottenham  0*  Road)  Huckaback  which  is  his  true 
name  it  was  an  oudacious  thing,  and  have  given  him  such  a 
Precious  Good  hiding  last  Night  as  you  never  saw  when  on  his 
Bendid  Knees  He  asked  the  pardon  of  your  Respectable  House, 
say6  nothing  of  Me  wh  wa  not  allow  because  I  said  I  would  Not 
Forgive  Him  because  he  had  not  injured  me  .'  But  you,  wh  I 
wonder  at  his  Impudence  in  Calling  on  Professional  Gents  like 
you,  if  I  get  the  Estate  shall  never  cease  to  Think  well  of  you 
and  mean  While  how  full  of  Trouble  I  am  Often  Thinking  Of 
Death  which  is  the  End  of  Every  Thing  And  then  in  that  Case 
who  will  the  Property  Go  to  Seeing  I  Leave  never  a  Brother 
or  Sister  Behind  me. "  And  Therefore  Them  That  wa  Get  it  I 
Feel  Sure  of  wd  Not  do  So  well  by  you  (if  You  will  Only  be- 
lieve Me)  So  Gents.  This  is  All  at  present  That  I  will  Make 
so  Bold  to  trouble  you  With  About  my  Unhappy 'Affairs  Only 
to  say  That  am  used  most  Intolerably  Bad  now  In  The  Shop 
quite  Tyranicall  And  Mr.  Tag-Rag  as  Set  Them  All  Against  Me 
and  I  shall  Never  Get  Another  Situatn  for  want  of  a  Charr 
which  he  will  give  me  say8  noths  at  Present  of  the  Sort  of 
Victules  wh  give  me  Now  to  Eat   Since  Monday  last,  For 


TEX  THOUSAND  A-YKAK.  113 

Which  am  Sure  the  Devil  must  have  Come  In  to  That  Gentle- 
Mr.  Tag-rag,  he  was  only  himself  in  a  Situation  in  Hol- 
born  once,  gettf  the  Business  by  many  the  widow  wb  wondei 
At  for  he  ia  nothing  Particular  to  Look  At.)    I  am  y™ 

Humbly  to  Command  Till  Death  (always  Humbly 

ng  pardon  for  the  bad  Conduct  wh  was  guilty  of  when  In 

Liquor   Especially  On   an   Empty   Stomach,   Having   Taken 

Nothing  all  that  Day  excepting  what  I  could  not  Eat,) 
"  Your's  most  Resp* 

"  Tittlebat  Titmouse. 

"P.S.  Will  Bring  That  young  Man  with  Tears  In  his  Eyes 
to  Beg  yr  pardon  Over  again  If  You  Like  wb  will  Solemnly 
Swear  if  Required  That  he  did  It  all  of  His  own  Head  And 
that  Have  given  It  him  For  it  in  the  Way  That  is  Written 
And  humbly  Trust  You  Will  make  Me  So  happy  Once 
by  writing  To  Me  (if  it  is  only  a  Line)  To  say  You  Have 
Thought  No  more  of  it.  T.  T.  No.  9  Closet  (X  Oxford  Street. 
14  7  IS—  " 

This  exquisitely-skilful  epistle  might  indeed  have 
Jit  tears  into  Air.  Quirk's  eyes,  if  he  had  been  used 
to  the  melting  mood,  which  he  was  not;  having  never 
been  seen  actually  to  shed  a  tear  but  once  —  when  five- 
sixths  of  his  little  bill  of  costs  (£196,  15s.  4d.)  were  taxed 
off  in  an  auction  on  a  Bill  of  Exchange  for  £13.7  As  it 
was,  he  tweedled  the  letter  about  in  his  hands  for  about 
five  minutes,  in  a  musing  mood,  and  then  stepped  with  it 
into  Mr.  Gammon's  room.  That  gentleman  took  the 
letter  with  an  air  of  curiosity,  and  read  it  over ;  at  every 
sentence  (if  indeed  a  sentence  there  was  in  it)  bursting 
into  soft  laughter. 

"  Ha,  ha,  ha  !  "  he  laughed  on  concluding  it  —  "  a  comi- 
cal  gentleman,  Mr.  Titmouse,  upon  my  honor!  " 

••Funny  —  isn't  it  rather]"  interposed  Mr.  Quirk, 
standing  with  his  hands  fumbling  about  in  his  breeches 

<\..  r.  —  8 


114  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAH. 

"  What  a  crawling  despicable  little  rascal !  —  ha,  ha, 
ha!" 

"Why — I  don't  quite  say  that,  either,"  said  Quirk, 
doubtingly  —  "I  —  don't  exactly  look  at  it  in  that  light !  " 

"  My  dear  sir  !  "  exclaimed  Gammon,  leaning  back  in 
his  chair,  and  laughing  rather  heartily,  (at  least  for 
him.) 

"You  can't  leave  off  that  laugh  of  yours,"  said  Quirk, 
a  little  tartly ;  "  but  I  must  say  I  don't  see  anything  in 
the  letter  to  laugh  at  so  particularly.  It  is  written  in 
a  most  respectful  manner,  and  shows  a  proper  feeling 
towards  the  House  !  " 

"  Ay  !  see  how  he  speaks  of  me  !  "  interrupted  Gammon, 
with  such  a  smile  !  — 

"  And  does  n't  he  speak  so  of  me  ?  and  all  of  us  1 " 

"  He  '11  let  the  house  tread  on  him  till  he  can  tread 
on  the  house,  I  dare  say." 

"  But  you  must  own,  Mr.  Gammon,  it  shows  we  've 
licked  him  into  shape  a  bit  — -  eh  1 " 

"  Oh,  it 's  a  little  vile  creeping  reptile  now,  and  so  it 
will  be  to  the  end  of  the  chapter  —  of  our  proceedings ; 
and  when  we've  done  everything  —  really,  Mr.  Quirk! 
if  one  were  apt  to  lose  one's  temper,  it  would  be  to 
see  such  a  thing  as  that  put  into  possession  of  such  a 
fortune." 

"That  may  be,  Mr.  Gammon;  but  I  really  —  hem  !  — 
trust  —  I  ?ve  —  a  higher  feeling !  —  To  right  —  the  in- 
jured"  He   could  get  no  farther. 

"  Hem  !  "  exclaimed  Gammon. 

The  partners  smiled  at -one  another.  A  touch,  or  an 
attempted  touch  at  disinterestedness  /  —  and  at  Quirk's 
time  of  life ! 

"But  he  's  now  in  a  humor  for  training,  at  all  events 
—  is  n't  he  1 "  exclaimed  Quirk  —  "  we  've  something  now 
to  go  to  work  upon  — gradually." 


TEX    THOUSAND    A-YF.A1I.  115 

••  [a  n't  that  a  leaf  out  of  mp  book,  Mr.  Quirk?  —  isn't 
that  exactly  what  " 

■■Well,  well — what  does  it  signif v  ?  "  interrupted 
Quirk,  rather  petulantly — "I've  got  a  crotchet  that'll 
r  us,  yet,  about  the  matter  of  law,  and  make  all 
right  and  tight  —  so  I  \u  going  to  Mortmain." 

••  1  \e  got  a  little  idea  of  my  own  of  that  sort,  Mr. 
Quirk,"  said  Gammon  —  '"I've  got  an  extract  from  Co- 
Litt  — .  I  can't  imagine  how  either  of  them  could 
have  missed  it  ;  and,  as  Frankpledge  dines  with  me  to- 
day, we  shall  talk  it  all  over.  But,  by  the  way,  Mr. 
Quirk,  I  should  say.  with  all  deference,  that  we'll  take 
ii"  more  notice  of  this  fellow  till  we've  got  some  screw 
tight  enough  " 

"Why  —  all  that  may  be  very  well;  hut  you  see, 
Gammon,  the  fellow  seems  the  real  heir,  after  all  — 
and  if  he  don't  get  it,  no  one  can ;  and  if  he  don't  —  we 
don't  !  eh  \n 

••  There  \s  a  very  great  deal  of  force  in  that  observation, 
Mr.  Quirk  —  it  gives  one  another  view  of  the  subject !  "  — 
said  Gammon,  emphatically  :  —  and,  tolerably  well  pleased 
with  one  another,  they  parted.  If  Quirk  might  be  com- 
pared to  an  old  file,  Gammon  was  the  oil  !  —  so  they  got 
on,  in  the  main,  very  well  together.  It  hardly  signifies 
what  was  the  result  of  their  interviews  with  their  twTo 
conveyancers.  The  two  partners  met  the  next  morning 
on  ordinary  business  ;  and  as  each  made  no  allusions  what- 
ever to  the  "  crotchet  "  of  the  day  before,  it  may  be  safely 
inferred  that  each  had  been  satisfied  by  his  conveyancer 
of  having  found   out  a  mare's  nest. 

"I  think,  by  the  way,"  said  Mr.  Gammon  to  Mr.  Quirk, 
before  they  parted  on  the  previous  evening,  "  it  may  be 
as  well,  all  things  considered,  to  acknowledge  the  receipt 
of  the  fellow's  note  —  eh  ? —  Can't  do  any  harm,  you  know, 
and  civility  costs  nothing  —  hem  !" 


116  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

"  The  very  thing  I  was  thinking  of,"  replied  Quirk,  as 
he  always  did,  on  hearing  any  suggestion  from  Mr.  Gam- 
mon. So  by  that  night's  post  was  despatched  (post-paid) 
the  following  note  to  Mr.  Titmouse:  — 

"  Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon,  and  Snap  have  the  pleasure  of  ac- 
knowledging the  receipt  of  Mr.  Titmouse's  polite  letter  of  last 
night's  date  ;  and  earnestly  beg  that  he  will  not  distress  himself 
about  the  little  incident  that  occurred  at  their  office  on  Tues- 
day night,  and  which  they  assure  him  they  have  quite  forgotten. 
They  made  all  allowances,  however  their  feelings  suffered  at 
the  time.  They  beg  Mr.  T.  will  give  them  credit  for  not  losing 
sight  of  his  interests,  to  the  best  of  their  ability  ;  obstructed  as 
they  are,  however,  by  numerous  serious  difficulties.  If  they 
should  be  hereafter  overcome,  he  may  rest  assured  of  their 
promptly  communicating  with  him  ;  and  till  then  they  trust 
Mr.  T.  will  not  inconvenience  himself  by  calling  on,  or  writing 
to  them. 

Saffron  Hill,  15th  July  18  — . 

"  P.  S. — Messrs.  Q.  G.  and  S.  regret  to  hear  that  any  un- 
pleasantness has  arisen  (Gammon  could  hardly  write  for  laugh- 
ing) between  Mr.  Titmouse  and  his  friend  Mr.  Hicklebagle, 
who,  they  assure  him,  manifested  a  very'  warm  interest  in  be- 
half of  Mr.  T.,  and  conducted  himself  with  the  greatest  pro- 
priety on  the  occasion  of  his  calling  upon  Messrs.  Q.  G.  and  S. 
They  happened  at  that  moment  to  be  engaged  in  matters  of 
the  highest  importance  ;  which  will,  they  trust,  explain  any 
appearance  of  abruptness  they  might  have  exhibited  towards 
that  gentleman.  Perhaps  Mr.  Titmouse  will  be  so  obliging  as 
to  intimate  as  much  to  Mr.  Hickerbag." 


There  was  an  obvious  reason  for  this  polite  allusion  to 
Huckaback.  Gammon  thought  it  very  possible  that  that 
gentleman  might  be  in  Mr.  Titmouse's  confidence,  and  ex- 
ercise a  powerful  influence  over  him  hereafter ;  and  that 
influence  Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon,  and  Snap  might  find 
it  well  worth  their  while  to  secure  beforehand. 


TEN    THOUSAND   A.-YEAB.  117 

The  moment  that  Titmouse,  with  breathless  haste,  had 
read  over  tins  mollifying  document,  which  being  directed 
to  his  lodgings  correctly,  he  obtained  as  soon  as  he  had 
got  home,  after  quitting  Mr.  Tag-rag,  about  ten  o'clock, 
he  hastened  to  his  friend  Huokabaok.  That  gentleman 
(who  Beemed  now  virtually  recognized  by  .Messrs.  Quirk, 
Gammon,  and  Snap  as  Titmouse's  confidant)  shook  his 
head  ominously,  exclaiming — "Blarny,  blarny !  "  and  a 
bitter  sneer  settled  on  his  disagreeable  features,  till  he 
had  read  down  to  the  postscript;  the  perusal  of  which 
effected  a  sudden  change  in  his  feelings.  He  declared, 
with  a  great  oath,  that  Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon,  and 
Snap  were  "perfect  gentlemen,"  and  would  "do  the  right 
thing  after  all — Titmouse  might  depend  upon  it;"  an 
assurance  which  greatly  cheered  Titmouse,  to  whose  keen 
discernment  it  never  once  occurred  to  refer  Huckaback's 
altered  tone  to  the  right  cause,  viz.  the  lubricating  qual- 
ity of  the  postscript ;  and  since  Titmouse  did  not  allude 
to  it,  no  more  did  Mr.  Huckaback,  although  his  own 
double  misnomer  stuck  not  a  little  in  his  throat.  So 
effectual,  indeed,  had  been  that  most  skilful  postscript 
upon  the  party  at  whom  it  had  been  aimed,  that  he  ex- 
erted himself  unceasingly  to  revive  Titmouse's  confidence 
in  Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon,  and  Snap ;  and  so  far  suc- 
ceeded, that  Titmouse  returned  to  his  lodgings  at  a  late 
hour,  a  somewhat  happier,  if  not  a  wiser  man  than  he  had 
left  them.  By  the  time,  however,  that  he  had  got  into 
bed,  having  once  more  spelled  over  the  note  in  question, 
he  felt  as  despondent  as  ever,  and  thought  that  Hucka- 
back had  not  known  what  he  had  been  talking  about. 
He  also  adverted  to  an  apparently  careless  allusion  by 
Huckaback  to  the  injuries  which  had  been  inflicted  upon 
him  by  Titmouse  on  the  Wednesday  night :  and  which, 
by  the  way,  Huckaback  determined  it  should  be  no  fault 
of  his  if  Titmouse  easily  forgot !     He  hardly  knew  why  — 


118  TEN   THOUSAND    A- YEAR. 

but  he  disliked  this  particularly. — Whom  had  he,  how- 
ever, in  the  world,  but  Huckaback  1  In  company  with 
him  alone,  Titmouse  felt  that  his  pent-up  feelings  could 
discharge  themselves.  Huckaback  had  certainly  a  won- 
derful knack  of  keeping  up  Titmouse's  spirits,  whatever 
cause  he  fancied  he  might  really  have  for  depression.  In 
short,  he  longed  for  the  Sunday  morning,  ushering  in  a  day 
of  rest  and  sympathy.  Titmouse  would  indeed  then  have 
to  look  back  upon  an  agitating  and  miserable  week,  what 
with  the  dismal  upsetting  of  his  hopes  in  the  manner 
I  have  described,  and  the  tyrannical  treatment  which 
he  had  experienced  at  Tag-rag  and  Co.'s.  His  tormentor 
there,  however,  began  at  length,  in  some  degree,  to  relax 
his  active  exertions  against  Titmouse,  simply  because  of 
the1  exertion  requisite  for  keeping  them  up.  He  attrib- 
uted the  pallid  cheek  and  depressed  manner  of  Titmouse 
entirely  to  the  discipline  which  had  been  inflicted  upon 
him  at  the  shop ;  and  was  gratified  at  perceiving  that 
all  his  other  young  men  seemed,  especially  in  his  pres- 
ence, to  have  imbibed  his  hatred  of  Titmouse.  What  pro- 
duced in  Tag-rag  this  hatred  of  Titmouse  1  Simply  what 
had  taken  place  on  the  Monday.  Mr.  Tag-rag's  dignity 
and  power  had  been  doggedly  set  at  nought  by  one  of 
his  shopmen,  who  had  since  refused  to  make  the  least 
submission,  or  offer  any  kind  of  apology.  Such  conduct 
struck  at  the  root  of  subordination  in  his  great  estab- 
lishment. Again,  there  is  perhaps  nothing  in  the  world 
so  calculated  to  enrage  a  petty  and  vulgar  mind  to  the 
highest  pitch  of  malignity,  as  the  cool  persevering  defi- 
ance of  an  inferior,  whom  it  strives  to  despise,  while  it  is 
only  hating,  feeling  at  the  same  time  such  to  be  the  case. 
Tag-rag  now  and  then,  when  he  looked  towards  Titmouse, 
as  he  stood  behind  the  counter,  felt  as  though  he  could 
have  killed  the  little  ape.  Titmouse  attempted  once  or 
twice,  during  the  week,  to  obtain  a  situation  elsewhere, 


TF.N    THOUSAND   A-YEAU.  119 

but  in  vain.  Ho  oould  expect  no  character  from  Tag-rag; 
and  when  the  loth  of  August  should  have  arrived,  what 
become  of  him  1  These  were  the  kind  of  thoughts 
often  passing  through  his  mind  during  the  Sunday,  which 
he  and  Huckaback  spent  together  in  unceasing  conversa- 
tion on  the  one  absorbing  event  of  the  last  week.  Tit- 
mouse, poor  little  puppy,  had  dressed  himself  with  just 
as  much  care  as  usual ;  but  as  he  was  giving  the  finishing 
touches  at  his  toilet,  pumping  up  grievous  sighs  every 
half  minute,  the  sum  of  his  reflections  might  be  stated  in 
the  miserable  significance  of  a  quaint  saying  of  Poor  Rich- 
ard's—  ••  How  hard  is  it  to  make  an  empty  sack  stand 
upright  !  " 

Although  the  sun  shone  as  vividly  and  beautifully  as  on 
the  preceding  Sunday,  to  Titmouse's  saddened  eye  there 
seemed  R  Bort  of  gloom  everywhere.  Up  and  down 
the  Park  he  and  Huckaback  walked,  towards  the  close  of 
the  afternoon  ;  but  Titmouse  had  not  so  elastic  a  strut  as 
before.  He  felt  empty  and  sinking.  Everybody  seemed 
to  know  what  a  sad  pretender  he  was  :  and  the  friends 
quitted  the  magic  circle  much  earlier  than  had  been  usual 
with  Titmouse.  What  with  the  fatigue  of  a  long  day's 
saunter,  the  vexation  of  having  had  but  a  hasty,  inferior, 
and  unrefreshing  meal,  which  did  not  deserve  the  name 
of  dinner,  and  their  unpleasant  thoughts,  both  seemed 
depressud  as  they  walked  along  the  streets.  At  length 
they  arrived  at  the  open  doors  of  a  gloomydooking  build- 
uto  which  two  or  three  sad  and  prim-looking  people 
were  entering.  After  walking  a  few  paces  past  the  door 
—  "  Do  you  know,  Huck,"  said  Titmouse,  stopping, 
••  1  ve  often  thought  that  —  that  —  there  's  something 
in  Religion." 

"To  be  sure  there  is,  for  those  that  like  it  —  who 
doubts  it  1  It 's  all  very  well  in  its  place,  no  doubt," 
replied  Huckaback,  with  much  surprise,  which  increased, 


120  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

as  he  felt  himself  being  slowly  swayed  round  towards  the 
building  in  question.     "  But  what  of  that  1 " 

"  Oh,  nothing  ;  but  —  hem!  hem!'*  replied  Titmouse, 
sinking  his  voice  to  a  whisper  —  "a  touch  of —  religion  — 
eh  1  —  would  not  be  so  much  amiss,  just  now  !  I  feel  — 
uncommon  inclined  that  way,  somehow,  'pon  my  soul ! " 

"  Religion  's  all  very  well,  Titty,  dear  !  —  for  them 
that  has  much  to  be  thankful  for ;  but  devil  take  me  ! 
what  have  either  you  or  me  to  be  " 

"  But,  Huck  —  how  do  you  know  but  we  might  get 
something  to  be  thankful  for,  by  praying  1  —  I  've  often 
heard  of  great  things  in  that  line  —  but  —  do  come  in 
with  me,  Huck  !  " 

Huckaback  stood  for  a  moment  irresolute,  twirling 
about  his  cane,  and  looking  rather  distastefully  towards 
the  dingy  building.  "  It  won't  answer,"  said  he,  faintly. 
Titmouse  drew  him  nearer ;  but  he  suddenly  started 
back.  —  "  No  !  oh,  't  is  only  a  meeting-house,  Tit  ! 
Curse  Dissenters,  how  I  hate  'em  !  Is  n't  your  precious 
governor  one  in  that  line  1  Give  me  a  regular-like,  re- 
spectable church,  with  a  proper  steeple,  and  parson,  and 
prayers,  and  an  organ,  and  all  that ! " 

Titmouse  secretly  acknowledged  the  force  of  these 
observations ;  and  the  intelligent  and  piously  disposed 
couple,  with  perhaps  a  just,  but  certainly  a  somewhat 
sudden  regard  for  orthodoxy,  were  not  long  before  they 
had  found  their  way  into  a  church  where  evening  service 
was  being  performed.  They  ascended  the  gallery  stair ; 
and  seeing  no  reason  to  be  ashamed  of  being  at  church, 
down  they  both  went,  with  loud  clattering  steps  and  a 
bold  air,  into  the  very  central  seat  (which  happened  to 
be  vacant)  in  the  front  of  the  gallery.  Titmouse  paid  a 
most  exemplary  attention  to  what  was  going  on,  kneeling, 
sitting,  and  standing  with  exact  propriety,  in  the  proper 
places ;  joining  audibly  in  the  responses,  and  keeping  his 


TEN    THOUSAND    A-YEAE.  121 

eves  pretty  steadily  on  the  prayer-book,  which  he  found 
lying  there,  lie  even  rebuked  Huckaback  for  whispering 
(during  one  of  the  most  solemn  parts  of  the  service)  that 
"there  was  an  uncommon  pretty  gal  in  the  next  pew!" 

—  He  thought  that  the  clergyman  was  a  remarkable  fine 
preacher,  and  said  some  things  that  he  must  have  meant 
for  him.  Titmouse,  in  particular! 

"  Curse  me,  Hucky  !  "  said  he,  heatedly,  as  soon  as 
they  had  quitted  the  church,  and  were  fairly  in  the  street 

—  ••  Curse  me  if —  if — ever  I  felt  so  comfortable-like  in 
my  mind  before,  as  I  do  now  —  see  if  I  don't  go  again 
next  Sunday  !  " 

"  Lord,  Tit,  you  don't  really  mean  —  eh? —  it 's  deuced 
dull  work  ! " 

"Hang  me  if  I  don't,  though  !  and  if  anything  should 
come  of  it  —  if  I  do  but  get  the  estate —  (I  wonder,  now, 
where  Mr.  Gammon  goes  to  church.  I  should  like  to 
know  I  —  I'd  go  there  regularly)  —  But  if  I  do  get  the 
thing —  you  see  if  I  don't  " 

"All,  I  don't  know;  it's  not  much  use  praying  for 
money,  Tit ;  I  've  tried  it  myself,  ouce  or  twice,  but  it 
did  n't  answer  !  " 

u  I  '11  take  my  oath  you  was  staring  at  the  gals  all 
the  while,  Hucky  ! " 

"Ah,  Titty!"  exclaimed  Huckaback,  and  winked  his 
eye,  and  put  the  tip  of  his  forefinger  to  the  tip  of  his 
nose,  and  laughed. 

Titmouse  continued  in  what  he  doubtless  imagined  to 
be  a  devout  frame  of  mind,  for  several  minutes  after  quit- 
ting the  church.  But  close  by  the  aforesaid  church,  the 
devil  had  a  thriving  little  establishment,  in  the  shape  of 
a  cigar-shop  ;  in  which  a  showily-dressed  young  Jewess 
sat  behind  the  counter,  right  underneath  a  glaring  gas- 
—  with  a  narrow  .-tripe-  of  greasy  black  velvet  across 
her  forehead,  and    long  ringlets  resting  on  her  shoulders 


122  TEN    THOUSAND    A-YEAR. 

—  bandying  slang  with  two  or  three  other  such  creatures 
as  Titmouse  and  Huckaback.  Our  friends  entered  and 
purchased  a  cigar  a-piece,  which  they  lit  on  the  spot ;  and 
after  each  of  them  had  exchanged  an  impudent  wink  with 
the  Jewess,  out  they  went,  puffing  away  —  all  the  remains 
of  their  piety  !  When  they  had  come  to  the  end  of  their 
cigars  they  parted,  each  speeding  homeward.  Titmouse, 
on  reaching  his  lodgings,  sank  into  profound  depression. 
He  felt  an  awful  conviction  that  his  visit  to  the  cigar-shop 
had  entirely  spoiled  the  effect  of  his  previous  attendance 
at  the  church  ;  and  that,  if  so  disposed,  (and  it  served  him 
right,)  he  might  now  sit  and  whistle  for  his  ten  thousand 
a-year.  Thoughts  such  as  these  drove  him  nearly  dis- 
tracted. If,  indeed,  he  had  foreseen  having  to  go  through 
such  another  week  as  the  one  just  over,  I  think  it  not  im- 
possible that  before  the  arrival  of  the  ensuing  Sunday,  he 
might  have  afforded  a  little  employment  to  that  ancient 
and  gloomy  functionary,  a  coroner,  and  his  jury.  At  that 
time,  however,  inquests  of  this  sort  were  matter-of-fact  and 
melancholy  affairs  enough  ;  which  I  doubt  not  would  have 
been  rather  a  dissuasive  from  suicide,  in  the  estimation  of 
one  who  might  be  supposed  ambitious  of  the  eclat  of  a 
modern  inquest ;  where,  indeed,  such  strange  antics  are 
played  by  certain  new  performers  as  would  suffice  to  re- 
vive the  corpse,  (if  it  were  a  corpse  that  had  ever  had  a 
spark  of  sense  or  spirit  in  it,)  and  make  it  kick  the  coro- 
ner out  of  the  room.8  But  to  one  of  so  high  an  ambition 
as  Tittlebat  Titmouse,  how  delightful  would  it  not  have 
been,  to  anticipate  becoming  (what  had  been  quite  im- 
practicable during  life)  the  object  of  public  attention  after 
his  death  —  by  means  of  a  flaming  dissertation  by  the  cor- 
oner on  his  own  zeal  and  spirit  —  the  nature  and  extent 
of  his  rights,  powers,  and  duties  ;  —  when  high  doctors  are 
brow-beaten,  the  laws  set  at  defiance,  and  public  decency 
plucked  by  the  beard,  and  the  torn  and  bleeding  hearts  of 


TEN  THOUSAND  A-YK.YK.  123 

surviving  relatives  still  further  agonized  by  an  exposure, 
all  quivering  under  the  recent  stroke,  to  the  gaping  vul- 
gar! Indeed,  1  sometimes  think  that  the  object  of  cer- 
tain coroners,  now-a-daya,  is  twofold j   first,  public  —  to 

disgust  people  with  suicide,  by  showing  what  horrid  pro- 
ceedings will  take  place  over  their  carcasses  ;  and  secondly, 
private  — 1<>  get  the  means  of  studying  anatomy  by  post 
mortem*^  which  the  said  coroner  never  could  procure  in  Ids 
own  practice  ;  which  enables  us  to  account  for  some  things 
one  has  lately  seen,  viz.  that  if  a  man  come  to  his  death 
by  means  of  a  wagon  crushing  his  legs,  the  coroner  in- 
stitutes an  exact  examination  of  the  structure  of  the  lungs 
and  heart.  I  take  it  to  be  getting  now  into  a  rule  —  the 
propriety  whereof,  some  people  think,  cannot  be  doubted 
—  namely,  that  bodies  ought  now  to  be  opened  only  to 
prove  that  they  ought  not  to  have  been  opened;  an  in- 
quest must  be  held,  in  order  to  demonstrate  that  it  need 
Dot  have  been  held,  except  that  certain  fees  thereby  find 
their  way  into  the  pocket  of  the  aforesaid  coroner,  which 
would  otherwise  not  have  done  so.  In  short,  such  a  coro- 
oer  as  I  have  in  my  eye  may  be  compared  to  a  great  ape 
squatting  on  a  corpse,  furiously  chattering  and  spitting  at 
all  around  it ;  and  I  am  glad  that  it  hath  at  last  had  wit 
enough  first  to  shut  the  door  before  proceeding  to  its  hor- 
rid tricks. 

Touching,  by  the  way,  the  moral  of  suicide,  it  is  a  way 
which  some  have  of  cutting  the  Gordian  knot  of  the  diffi- 
culties of  life  ;  which  having  been  done,  possibly  the  very 
first  thing  made  manifest  to  the  spirit,  after  taking  its 
mad  leap  into  the  dark  may  be  —  how  very  easily  the 
siid  kml  might  have  been  untied;  nay,  that  it  was  on 
the  very  point  of  being  untied,  if  the  impatient  spirit 
had  stayed  <>nly  a  moment  longer! 

I  said  it  was  not  impossible  that  Mr.  Titmouse  might, 
under  the  circumstances  alluded  to,  have  done  the  deed 


124  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

which  has  called  forth  the  above  natural  and  profound 
reflections;  but,  upon  the  whole,  it  is  hardly  probable ; 
for  he  knew  that  by  doing  so  he  would  (first)  irreparably 
injure  society,  by  depriving  it  of  an  enlightened  and  in- 
valuable member ;  (secondly,)  inflict  great  indignity  on 
his  precious  body,  of  which,  during  life,  he  had  always 
taken  the  most  affectionate  care,  by  consigning  it  to 
burial  in  a  cross-road,  at  night-time,  with  a  stake  run 
through  it,9  and  moreover  peril  the  little  soul  that  had 
just  leaped  out  of  it,  by  not  having  any  burial-service  said 
over  his  aforesaid  remains ;  and  (lastly)  lose  all  chance  of 
enjoying  Ten  Thousand  a-Year — at  least  upon  the  earth. 
I  own  I  was  a  little  startled  (as  I  dare  say  was  the  pen- 
sive reader)  at  a  passage  of  mournful  significance  in  Mr. 
Titmouse's  last  letter  to  Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon,  and 
Snap,  viz.  —  "  How  full  of  trouble  I  am,  often  thinking 
of  death,  which  is  the  end  of  everything ; "  but  on  care- 
fully considering  the  context,  I  am  disposed  to  think  that 
the  whole  was  only  an  astute  device  of  Titmouse's,  either 
to  rouse  the  fears,  or  stimulate  the  feelings,  or  excite  the 
hopes  of  the  three  arbiters  of  his  destiny  to  whom  it  was 
addressed.  Mr.  Gammon,  he  thought,  might  be  thereby 
moved  to  pity ;  while  Mr.  Quirk  would  probably  be  oper- 
f  ated  upon  by  fears,  lest  the  sad  contingency  pointed  at 
might  deprive  the  house  of  one  who  would  richly  repay 
their  exertions  ;  and  by  hopes  of  indefinite  advantage,  if 
they  could  by  any  means  prevent  its  happening.  That 
these  gentlemen  really  did .  keenly  scrutinize,  and  care- 
fully weigh  every  expression  in  that  letter,  ridiculous  as 
it  was,  and  contemptible  as,  I  fear,  it  showed  its  writer 
to  be,  is  certain ;  but  it  did  not  occur  to  them  to  com- 
pare with  it  the  spirit,  at  least,  and  intention  of  their  own 
answer  to  it.  Did  the  latter  document  contain  less  cun- 
ning and  insincerity,  because  it  was  couched  in  somewhat 
superior  phraseology  1      They  could  conceal  their  selfish 


TEN  THOUSAND  A-YKAK.  125 

and  over-reaching  designs,  while  poor  Titmouse  exposed 

all  his  little  mean-mindednesa  and  hypocrisy,  simply  be- 
cause he  had  not  learned  how  to  conceal  it  effectually. 
T  was  indeed  a  battle  tor  the  very  same  object,  but  be- 
tween unequal  combatants.  Each  was  trying  to  take  in 
the  other.  It"  M-  ssrs.  Quirk,  Gammon,  and  Sua})  despised 
and  loathed  the  man  to  whom  they  exhibited  such  anx- 
-  .  Tit  mouse  hated  and  feared  those  whom  his 
interests  compelled  him  for  a  while  to  conciliate.  Was 
there,  in  fact,  a  pin  to  choose  between  them — except  per- 
haps that  Titmouse  was,  in  a  manner,  excused  by  his 
necessities?  But,  in  the  mean  wdiile  —  to  proceed  —  his 
circumstances  were  becoming  utterly  desperate.  He  con- 
tinued t"  endure  great  suffering  at  Mr.  Tag-rag's  during 

©  o  ©         ©  © 

the  day  —  the  constant  butt  of  the  ridicule  and  insult  of 

liable  companions,  and  the  victim  of  his  employer's 
vile  and  vulgar  spirit  of  hatred  and  oppression.  His  spirit, 
(such  as  it  was,)  in  short,  was  very  nearly  broken.    Though 

zed  every  opportunity  that  offered,  to  inquire  for  an- 
other situation,  he  was  unsuccessful ;  for  all  whom  he  ap- 
plied to,  spoke  of  the  strict  character  they  should  require, 
"  before  taking  a  new  hand  into  their  establishment.'5  His 
occupation  at  nights,  after  quitting  the  shop,  was  twofold 
only  —  either  to  call  upon  Huckaback,  (whose  sympathy, 
however,  he  was  exhausting  rapidly,)  or  solace  his  feel- 

v  walking  down  to  Saffron  Hill,  and  lingering  about 
the  closed  office  of  Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon,  and  Snap  — 

was  a  kind  of  gratification  even  in  that !  He  once 
or  twice  felt  flustered  even  on  catching  a  glimpse  of  the 
"Id  housekeeper  returning  home  with  a  pint  of  porter  in 
her  hand.  How  he  would  have  rejoiced  to  get  into  her 
spaces,  and  accompany  her  into  even  the  kitchen  — 
when  he  would  be  on  the  premises,  at  least,  and  convers- 
ing with  one  of  the  establishment,  of  those  who  he  believed 
could,  with  a  stroke  of  their  pens,  turn  this  wilderness  of 


126  TEN    THOUSAND    A-YEAR. 

a  world  into  a  paradise  for  him  !  But  he  dared  not  make 
any  overtures  in  that  quarter,  for  fear  of  their  getting  to  the 
notice  of  the  dreaded  Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon,  and  Snap. 
At  length,  no  more  than  three  or  four  shillings  stood 
between  him  and  utter  destitution ;  and  the  only  person 
in  the  world  to  whom  he  could  apply  for  even  the  most 
trivial  assistance,  was  Huckaback  —  whom,  however,  he 
knew  to  be  really  little  better  off  than  himself ;  and  whom, 
moreover,  he  felt  to  be  treating  him  more  and  more  coldly, 
as  the  week  wore  on,  without  his  hearing  of  any  the  least 
tidings  from  Saffron  Hill.  Huckaback  evidently  felt  now 
scarcely  any  interest  or  pleasure  in  the  visits  of  his  mel- 
ancholy friend,  and  was  plainly  disinclined  to  talk  about 
his  affairs.  At  length  he  quite  turned  up  his  nose  with 
disgust,  whenever  Titmouse  took  out  the  well-worn  note 
of  Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon,  and  Snap,  (which  was  almost 
dropping  in  pieces  with  being  constantly  carried  about  in 
his  pocket,  taken  in  and  out,  and  folded  and  unfolded,) 
for  the  purpose  of  conning  over  its  contents,  as  if  there 
might  yet  linger  in  it  some  hitherto  undiscovered  source 
of  consolation.  Poor  Titmouse,  therefore,  looked  at  it  on 
every  such  occasion  with  as  eager  and  vivid  an  interest 
as  ever ;  but  it  was  glanced  at  by  Huckaback  with  a  half- 
averted  eye,  and  a  cold  drawling,  yawning  "  Ya  —  a  — 
as  —  I  see  —  I  —  dare  —  say!"  While  his  impressions 
of  Titmouse's  bright  prospects  were  thus  being  rapidly 
effaced,  his  smarting  recollections  of  the  drubbing  he  had 
received  became  more  distinct  and  frequent,  his  feelings 
of  resentment  more  lively,  nor  the  less  so,  because  the 
expression  of  them  had  been  stifled,  (while  he  had  con- 
sidered the  star  of  Titmouse  to  be  in  the  ascendant,)  till 
the  time  for  setting  them  into  motion  and  action,  had 
gone  by.  In  fact,  the  presence  of  Titmouse,  suggesting 
such  thoughts  and  recollections,  became  intolerable  to 
Huckaback ;  and  Titmouse's  perceptions  (dull  as  they  nat- 


TEN    THOUSAND    A-YKAK  12/ 

nrally  were,  but  a  little  quickened  by  recent  Buffering) 
gave  him  more  and  more  distinct  notice  of  this  circum 
stance,  at  the  precise  time  when  he  meditated  applying 
tor  the  loan  of  a  few  shillings.     These  feelings  made  him 

as  humble  towards  Huckaback,  and  as  tolerant  of  bis  in- 
ng  imi  leness  and  ill-humor,  as  ho  felt  abject  towards 

irk.  Gammon,  and  Snap:  for.  unless  be  could 
succeed  in  wringing  some  trifling  loan  from  Huckaback, 
(if  be  really  bad  it  in  his  power  to  advance  him  anything,) 
Titmouse  really  could  not  conjecture  what  was  to  become 
of  him.  Various  faint  but  unadroit  hints  and  feelers  of 
bis  bad  been  thrown  away  upon  Huckaback,  who  did  not. 
or  would  not,  comprehend  them.  At  length,  however,  a 
sudden  and  fearful  pressure  compelled  poor  Titmouse  to 
speak  out.  Gripe,  the  collector,  called  one  moi-ning  for 
the  poor's  rates  due  from  Mrs.  Squallop,  and  drained  her 
of  almost  every  penny  of  ready  money  which  she  bad  by 
her.  This  threw  the  good  woman  upon  her  resources  to 
replenish  her  empty  pocket  —  and  down  she  came  upon 
Titmouse  —  or  rather,  up  she  went  to  him  ;  for  his  heart 
sank  within  him,  one  night  on  his  return  from  the  shop, 
haying  only  just  taken  off  his  hat  and  lit  his  candle,  as  he 
heard  the  fat  old  termagant's  well-known  heavy  step  as- 
cending  the  stairs,  and  approaching  nearer  and  nearer  to 
his  door.  Her  loud  imperative  single  knock  vibrated 
through  hia  very  heart. 

'•oh.  Mis.  S.pmllop!  How  d'ye  do,  Mrs.  Squallop  V 
commenced  Titmouse,  faintly,  when  he  had  opened  the 
door;  "  Won't  you  take  a  chair]"  with  trepidation  offer- 
ing to  the  panting  dame  almost  the  only  chair  he  had. 

•■  No  —  I  a'n't  come  to  stay,  Mr.   Titmouse,  because, 

lee,  in  coorse  you  've  got  a  pound,  at  least,  ready  for 

me,  as  you  promised  long  ago — and  never  more  welcome; 

there 'sold  Gripe  been  here  to-day,  and  bad  his  hodious 

rites  —  (drat  the  poor,  say  I  !  them  as  can't  work  should 


128  TEN   THOUSAND    A-YEAR. 

starve  !  —  rates  is  a  robbery  !) —  but  ho-wsom clever  he  's 
cleaned  me  out  to-day ;  so,  in  coorse,  I  come  up  to  you. 
Got  it,  Mr.  Titmouse  1 " 

"I  —  I  —  I  —  'pon  my  life,  Mrs.  Squallop,  I  'm  uncom- 
mon sorry  "  

"  Oh,  bother  your  sorrow,  Mr.  Titmouse  !  —  out  with 
the  needful,  for  I  can't  stop  palavering  here." 

"  I — I  can't,  so  help  me !  "  gasped  Titmouse,  with 

the  calmness  of  desperation. 

"  You  can't !  And  marry,  sir,  why  not,  may  I  make 
bold  to  ask  % "  inquired  Mrs.  Squallop,  after  a  moment's 
pause,  striving  to  choke  down  her  rage. 

"P'r'aps  you  can  get  blood  out  of  a  stone,  Mrs.  Squallop ; 
it's  what  /  can't,"  replied  Titmouse,  striving  to  screw  his 
courage  up  to  the  sticking  place,  to  encounter  one  who 
was  plainly  bent  upon  mischief.  "  I  've  got  two  shillings 
—  there  they  are,"  throwing  them  on  the  table;  "and 
cuss  me  if  I  've  another  rap  in  the  world  ;  there,  ma'am ! 
take  'em,  do  ;  and  drive  me  desperate ! " 

"  You  're  a  liar,  then,  that 's  flat !  "  exclaimed  Mrs. 
Squallop,  slapping  her  hand  upon  the  table,  with  a  vio- 
lence that  made  the  candle  quiver  on  it,  and  almost  fall 
down.  "  You  have  the  himperance,"  said  she,  sticking 
her  arms  akimbo,  and  commencing  the  address  she  had 
been  preparing  in  her  own  mind  ever  since  Mr.  Gripe  had 
quitted  her  house,  "  to  stand  there  and  tell  me  you  've 
got  nothing  in  the  world  but  them  two  shillings  !  Heugh  ! 
Out  on  you,  you  oudacious  fellow  !  —  you  jack-a-dandy  ! 
You  tell  me  you  have  n't  got  more  than  them  two  shillings, 
and  yet  turns  out  every  Sunday  morning  of  your  life  like 
a  lord,  with  your  pins,  and  your  rings,  and  your  chains, 
and  your  fine  coat,  and  your  gloves,  and  your  spurs,  and 
your  dandy  cane  —  ough  !  you  whipper-snapper  !  You  're 
a  cheat  —  you  're  a  swindler,  jack-a-dandy  !  You  're  the 
contempt  of  the  whole  court,  you  are  —  you  jack-a-dandy  ! 


TEN    THOUSAND    A-YEAK.  129 

You  've  got  all  my  rent  on  your  back,  and  so  you've  had 
every  Sunday  for  three  months,  you  cheat!  —  you  low 
fellow!  —  you  ungrateful  chap!  You're  a-robbing  the 
widow  and  fatherless  !  Look  at  me,  and  my  six  fatherless 
children  down  there,  you  good-for-nothing,  nasty,  proud 
puppy  !  —  eugti  !  it  makes  me  sick  to  see  you.  You  dress 
yourself  out  like  my  lord  mayor  !  You  've  bought  a  gold 
chain  with  my  rent,  you  rascally  cheat  !  You  dress  your- 
self out  I  —  Ha,  ha  !  —  you  're  a  nasty,  mean-looking, 
humpty-dumpty,  carroty-headed  " 

••  You  'd  better  not  say  that  again,  Mrs.  Squallop,"  quoth 
Titmouse,  with  a  fierce  glance. 

-  Not  say  it  again  !  —  ha,  ha  !  Hoighty-toighty,  carroty- 
haired  jack-a-dandy  !  —  Why,  you  hop-o-my-thumb  !  d'ye 
think  I  won't  say  whatever  I  choose,  and  in  my  own  house, 
and  to  a  man  that  can't  pay  his  rent]  You  ?re  a  Titmouse 
by  name  and  by  nature ;  there  a'n't  a  cockroach  crawling 
in  our  kitchen  that  a'n't  more  harmless  than  you  !  — 
You  're  a  himperant  cheat,  and  dandy,  and  knave,  and  a 
liar,  and  a  red-haired  rascal  —  and  that  in  your  teeth! 
(snapping  her  fingers.)  Ough  !  Your  name  stinks  in  the 
court.  You  're  a-taking  of  everybody  in  as  will  trust  you 
to  a  penny's  amount.  There  's  poor  old  Cox,  the  tailor, 
with  a  sick  wife  and  children,  whom  you  've  cheated  this 
many  months,  all  of  his  not  having  sperrit  to  summons 
you  !  But  /  '11  set  him  upon  you  ;  you  see  if  I  don't  — 
and  I  '11  have  my  own,  too,  or  I  would  n't  give  that  for  the 
laws !  "  shouted  Mrs.  Squallop,  again  furiously  snapping 
her  fingers  in  his  face  ;  and  then  pausing  for  breath  after 
her  eloquent  invective. 

;-  Xow,  what  is  the  use,"  said  Titmouse,  gently,  being 
completely  cowed  —  "  now,  what  good  can  it  do  to  go  on 
in  this  way,  Mrs.   Squallop  V9 

•'  Missus  me  no  missus,  Mr.  Titmouse,  but  pay  me  my 
rent,  you  jack-a-dandy!     You've  got  my  rent  on  your 


130  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

back,  and  on  your  little  finger ,  and  I  '11  have  it  oft'  you 
before  I  've  done  with  you,  I  warrant  you.  I  'm  your 
landlady,  and  I  '11  sell  you  up  ;  I  '11  have  old  Thumbscrew 
here  the  first  thing  in  the  morning,  and  distrain  every- 
thing, and  you,  too,  you  jackdaw,  if  any  one  would  buy 
you,  which  they  won't !  I  '11  have  my  rent  at  last  :  I  've 
been  too  easy  with  you.  you  ungrateful  chap ;  for,  mark, 
even  Gripe  this  morning  says,  '  Have  n't  you  a  gentleman 
lodger  up  above  1  get  him  to  pay  you  your  own,'  says  he  ; 
and  so  I  will.  I  'm  sick  of  all  this,  and  I  '11  have  my 
rights !  Here 's  my  son,  Jem,  a  far  better-looking  chap 
than  you,  though  he  has  n't  got  hair  like  a  sandy  mop  all 
under  his  chin,  and  he  's  obligated  for  to  work  from  one 
week's  end  to  another,  in  a  paper  cap  and  fustian  jacket ; 
and  you  —  you  painted  jackanapes  !  But  now  I  have  got 
you,  and  I  '11  turn  you  inside  out,  though  I  know  there  's 
nothing  in  you  !  But  I  '11  try  to  get  at  your  fine  coats, 
and  spurs,  and  trousers,  your  chains  and  pins,  and  make 
something  of  them  before  I  've  done  with  you,  you  jack- 
a-dandy  !  "  —  and  the  virago  shook  her  fist  at  him,  look- 
ing as  though  she  had  not  yet  uttered  even  half  that  was 
in  her  heart  towards  him. 

[Alas,  alas,  unhappy  Titmouse,  much-enduring  son  of 
sorrow  !  I  perceive  that  you  now  feel  the  sharpness  of  an 
angry  female  tongue ;  and  indeed  to  me,  not  in  the  least 
approving  of  the  many  coarse  and  heart-splitting  expres- 
sions which  she  uses,  it  seems,  nevertheless,  that  she  hath 
not  gone  exceeding  far  off  the  mark  in  much  that  she 
hath  said ;  for,  in  truth,  in  your  conduct  there  is  not  a 
little  that  to  me,  piteously  inclined  towards  you  as  I  am, 
yet  appeareth  obnoxious  to  the  edge  of  this  woman's 
reproaches.  But  think  not,  0  bewildered  and  not-with- 
sufficient-distinctness-discernmg-the-nature-of-things  Tit- 
mouse !  that  she  hath  only  a  sharp  and  bitter  tongue. 
In  this  woman  behold  a  mother,  and  it  may  be  that  she 


TEX   THOUSAND   A-YEAU.  131 

will  soften  before  you,  who  have  plainly,  as  I  hear,  neither 
father  nor  mother.     Oh  me  !] 

Poor  Titmouse  trembled  violently  ;  his  lips  quivered  ; 
and  the  long  pent-up  tears  forced  their  way  at  length  over 
his  eyelids,  and  fell  fast  down  his  cheeks. 

"Ah,  you  may  well  cry! — you  may!  But  it's  too 
late  !  —  it 's  my  turn  to  cry  now  !  Don't  you  think  that 
I  feel  for  my  own  flesh  and  blood,  which  is  my  six  chil- 
dren I  And  isn't  what's  mine  theirs1?  And  are  n't  you 
keeping  the  fatherless  out  of  their  own  1  It 's  too  bad  of 
you  —  it  is  !  and  you  know  it  is,"  continued  Mrs.  Squal- 
lop,  vehemently. 

"  They  've  got  a  mother  —  a  kind  —  good  —  mother  — 
to  take  —  care  of  them,"  sobbed  Titmouse  ;  "  but  there  's 
been  no  one  in  the  —  the  —  world  that  cares  a  straw  for 
vie  —  this  twenty  —  years  !  "     He  fairly  wept  aloud. 

"Well,  then,  more  's  the  pity  for  you.  If  you  had, 
they  would  n't  have  let  you  make  such  a  puppy  of  your- 
self —  and  at  your  landlady's  expense,  too.  You  know 
you  're  a  fool,"  said  Mrs.  Squallop,  dropping  her  voice  a 
little  ;  for  she  was  a  mother,  after  all,  and  she  knew  that 
what  poor  Titmouse  had  just  stated  was  quite  true.  She 
tried  hard  to  feed  the  fire  of  her  wrath,  by  forcing  into 
her  thoughts  every  aggravating  topic  against  Titmouse 
that  she  could  think  of;  but  it  became  every  moment 
harder  and  harder  to  do  so,  for  she  was  consciously  soft- 
ening rapidly  towards  the  weeping  and  miserable  little 
object,  on  whom  she  had  been  heaping  such  violent  and 
bitter  abuse.  He  was  a  great  fool,  to  be  sure  —  he  was 
very  fond  of  fine  clothes  —  he  knew  no  better  —  he  had, 
however,  paid  his  rent  well  enough  till  lately  —  he  wTas  a 
very  quiet,  well-disposed  lodger,  for  all  she  had  known  — 
he  had  given  her  youngest  child  a  pear  not  long  ago. 
Eeally,  thought  Mrs.  Squallop,  I  may  have  gone  a  leetle 
too  far. 


132  TEN   THOUSAND   A- YEAR. 

"  Come  —  it  a'n't  no  use  crying  in  this  way,"  she 
began  in  an  altered  tone.  "  It  won't  put  money  into 
your  pocket,  nor  my  rent  into  mine.  You  know  you  've 
wronged  me,  and  I  must  be  paid,"  she  added,  but  in  a 
still  lower  tone.  She  tried  to  cough  away  a  certain  ris- 
ing disagreeable  sensation  about  her  throat ;  for  Tit- 
mouse, having  turned  his  back  to  hide  the  extent  of  his 
emotions,  seemed  half-choked  with  suppressed  sobs. 

"  So  you  won't  speak  a  word  —  not  a  word  —  to  the 
woman  you've  injured  so  much'*"  inquired  Mrs.  Squal- 
lop,  trying  to  assume  a  harsh  tone;  but  her  eyes  were 
a  little  obstructed  with  tears. 

"I  —  I  —  canH  speak,"  sobbed  Titmouse  —  "I  —  I  feel 
ready  to  drop  into  a  cold  early  grave  !  —  everybody  hates 
me  "  —  here  he  paused ;  and  for  some  moments  neither 
of  them  spoke.  "  I  've  been  kept  on  my  legs  the  whole 
day  about  the  town  by  Mr.  Tag-rag,  and  had  no  dinner. 
I  —  I  —  wish  I  was  dead!  I  do!  —  you  may  take  all 
I  have  —  here  it  is,"  continued  Titmouse,  with  his  foot 
pushing  towards  Mrs.  Squallop  the  old  hair  trunk  that 
contained  all  his  little  finery.  "  I  sha'n't  want  them 
much  longer,  for  I'm  turned  out  of  my  situation." 

This  was  too  much  for  Mrs.  Squallop,  and  she  was 
obliged  to  wipe  her  full  eyes  with  the  corner  of  her  apron, 
without  saying  a  word.  Her  heart  smote  her  for  the  mis- 
ery she  had  inflicted  on  one  who  seemed  quite  broken 
down.  Pity  suddenly  flew,  fluttering  his  wings  —  soft 
dove  !  —  into  her  heart,  and  put  to  flight  in  an  instant 
all  her  enraged  feelings.  "Come,  Mr.  Titmouse,"  said 
she,  in  quite  an  altered  tone,  "  never  mind  me ;  I  'm  a 
plain-spoken  woman  enough,  I  dare  say  —  and  often  say 
more  than  I  mean  —  for  I  know  I  a'n't  over  particular 
when  my  blood 's  up  —  but  —  lord  !  —  I  —  I  would  n't 
hurt  a  hair  of  your  head,  poor  chap  !  —  for  all  I  've  said 
—  no,  not  for  double  the  rent  you  owe  me.     Come  !  don't 


TEN    THOUSAND   A-YEAR.  133 

go  on  so,  Mr.  Titmouse  —  what 's  the  use  ?  —  it 's  all 
quite  —  over  —  I  'in  so  sorry  —  Lud  !  if  1  had  really 
thought"  —  she  almost  sobbed  —  "you'd  been  so  —  so 
—  why.  I'd  have  waited  till  to-morrow  night  before  I'd 
said  a  word.  But,  Mr.  Titmouse,  since  you  haven't  had 
any  dinner,  won't  you  have  a  mouthful  of  something  —  a 
bit  of  bread  and  cheese  I —  I'll  Boon  fetch  you  up  a  bit,  and 
a  drop  of  beer  —  we  've  just  had  it  in  for  our  suppers." 

"  No,  thank  you  —  I  can  't  —  I  can  't  eat  !  "  sobbed 
Titmouse. 

"  Oh,  bother  it,  but  you  shall !  I  '11  go  down  and  fetch 
it  up  in  half  a  minute,  as  sure  as  my  name  's  Squallop  !  " 
And  out  of  the  room  and  down-stairs  she  bustled,  glad  of 
a  moment  to  recover  herself. 

"  Lord-a-mercy  !  "  said  she,  on  entering  her  room,  to 
her  eldest  daughter  and  a  neighbor  who  had  just  come 
in  to  supper —  and  while  she  hastily  cut  a  thick  hunch 
of  bread,  and  a  good  slice  of  cheese  —  "  there  I  've  been 
a-rating  that  poor  little  chap,  up  at  the  top  room,  (my 
dandy  lodger,  you  know,)  like  anything  —  and  I  really 
don't  think  he  's  had  a  morsel  of  victuals  in  his  belly  this 
precious  day ;  and  I  've  made  him  cry,  poor  soul !  as  if 
his  heart  would  break.  Pour  us  out  half  a  pint  of  that 
beer,  Sally  —  a  good  half  pint,  mind!  —  I'm  going  to 
take  it  up-stairs  directly.  I've  gone  a  deal  too  far  with 
him,  I  do  think;  but  it's  all  of  that  nasty  old  Gripe;  I've 
been  wrong  all  the  day  through  it  !  How  I  hate  the 
sight  of  old  Gripe  !  What  hodious  looking  people  they 
do  get  to  collect  the  rates  and  taxes,  to  be  sure  !  —  Poor 
chap,"  she  continued,  as  she  wiped  out  a  plate  with  her 
apron,  and  put  into  it  the  bread  and  cheese,  together 
with  a  knife  —  "  he  offered  me  a  chair  when  I  wTent  in, 
so  uncommon  civil-like,  it  took  a  good  while  before  I 
could  get  myself  into  the  humor  to  give  it  him  as  I 
wanted.     And  he  \s  no  father  nor  mother,  (half  of  which 


134  TEN   THOUSAND   A- YEAR. 

has  happened  to  you,  Sal,  and  the  rest  will  happen  one  of 
these  days,  you  know  —  so  you  mind  me  while  you  have 
me  !)  and  he 's  not  such  a  very  bad  lodger,  after  all,  though 
he  does  get  a  little  behind-hand  now  and  then,  and  though 
he  turns  out  every  Sunday  like  a  lord,  poor  fool  —  as 
your  poor  dear  father  used  to  say,  '  with  a  shining  back 
and  empty  belly.'  " 

"  But  that 's  no  reason  why  honest  people  should  be 
kept  out  of  their  own,  to  feed  his  pride,"  interposed  her 
neighbor,  a  skinny  old  widow,  who  had  never  had  chick 
nor  child,  and  was  always  behind-hand  with  her  own 
rent ;  but  whose  effects  were  not  worth  distraining  upon. 
"  I  'd  get  hold  of  some  of  his  fine  crincum-crancums 
and  gimcracks,  for  security  like,  if  I  was  you.  I  would, 
indeed." 

"  Why  —  no,  poor  soul  —  I  don't  hardly  like  :  he  's  a 
vain  creature,  and  puts  everything  he  can  on  his  back,  to 
be  sure ;  but  he  a'n't  quite  a  rogue,  neither." 

"  Ah,  ha,  Mrs.  Squallop  —  you  're  such  a  simple  soul ! 

—  Won't  my  fine  gentleman  make  off  with  his  finery 
after  to-night  V 

"  Well,  I  should  n't  have  thought  it !  To  be  sure  he 
may !  Really,  there  can't  be  much  harm  in  asking  him 
(in  a  proper  kind  of  way)  to  deposit  one  of  his  fine  things 
with  me,  by  way  of  security  —  that  ring  of  his,  you  know 

—  eh  1  —  Well,  I  11  try  it  anyhow,"  said  Mrs.  Squallop, 
as  she  set  off  up-stairs. 

"  I  know  what  /  should  do,  if  so  be  he  was  a  lodger  of 
mine,  that 's  all,"  said  her  visitor,  significantly,  (as  Mrs. 
Squallop  quitted  the  room,)  vexed  to  find  her  supper  so 
considerably  and  unexpectedly  diminished,  especially  as 
to  the  pot  of  porter,  which  she  strongly  suspected  would 
not  be  replenished. 

"  There,"  said  Mrs.  Squallop,  setting  down  on  the  table 
what  she  had  brought  for  Titmouse,  "  there  's  a  bit  of 


TEN   THOUSAND   A.- YEAR  135 

supper  for  you  ;  and  you  're  welcome  to  it,  I  'm  sure,  Mr. 
Titmouse.'" 

14 Thank  you,  thank  you  —  I  can't  eat,"  said  he,  cast- 
ing, however,  upon  the  victuals  a  hungry  eye,  which  be- 
lied what  he  said,  while  in  his  heart  he  longed  to  be  left 
alone  with  them  for  about  three  minutes. 

"Come,  don't  be  ashamed  —  fall  to  work  —  it's  good 
wholesome  victuals,''  said  she,  lifting  the  table  near  to 
the  edge  of  the  bed,  on  the  side  of  which  he  was  sitting, 
and  taking  up  the  two  shillings  lying  on  the  table  — 
"  and  capital  good  beer,  I  warrant  me  ;  you  '11  sleep  like 
a   top  after  it/' 

"  You  're  uncommon  kind,  Mrs.  Squallop  ;  but  I  sha'n't 
get  a  wink  of  sleep  to-night  for  thinking  " 

°  Oh,  bother  your  thinking  !  Let  me  begin  to  see  you 
eat  a  bit.  Well,  I  suppose  you  don't  like  to  eat  and 
drink  before  me,  so  I  '11  go."  [Here  arose  a  sudden  con- 
flict in  the  good  woman's  mind,  whether  or  not  she  would 
act  on  the  suggestion  which  had  been  put  into  her  head 
down-stairs.  She  was  on  the  point  of  yielding  to  the  im- 
pulse of  her  own  good-natured,  though  coarse  feelings ;  but 
at  last  — ]  "I  —  I  —  dare  say,  Mr.  Titmouse,  you  mean 
what  'a  right  and  straightforward,"  she  stammered. 

"Yes,  Mrs.  Squallop  —  you  may  keep  those  two  shil- 
lings :  they  're  the  last  farthing  I  have  left  in  the  whole 
world." 

'•  No  —  hem  !  —  hem  !  —  ahem  !  I  was  just  suddenly 
a-thinking  —  now   can't  you   guess,   Mr.    Titmouse]" 

"What,  Mrs.  Squallop?"  inquired  Titmouse,  meekly 
but  anxiously. 

"Why  —  suppose  now  —  if  it  were  only  to  raise  ten 
shillings  with  old  Balls,  round  the  corner,  on  one  of  those 
fine  things  of  yours  —  your  ring,  say!"  [Titmouse's 
heart  sank  within  him.]  "Well,  well  —  never  mind  — 
don't  fear,"  said  Mrs.   Squallop,  observing  him  suddenly 


136  TEN   THOUSAND   A- YEAR. 

turn  pale  again.  "I  —  I  only  thought  —  but  never 
mind  !  it  don't  signify  —  good-night !  we  can  talk  about 
that  to-morrow  —  good-night  —  a  good  night's  rest  to 
you,  Mr.  Titmouse  ! "  and  the  next  moment  he  heard 
her  heavy  step  descending  the  stairs.  Some  little  time 
elapsed  before  he  could  recover  from  the  agitation  into 
which  he  had  been  thrown  by  her  last  proposal;  but 
within  five  minutes  of  her  quitting  the  room,  there  stood 
before  him,  on  the  table,  an  empty  plate  and  jug. 


TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR.  137 


CHAPTER  IV. 

"Tin  the  fat  old  toad  !  "  thought  he,  the  instant 

that  lie  had  finished  masticating  what  had  been  supplied 
to  him  by  real  charity  and   good-nature — "the  vulgar 
wretch  !  —  the  nasty  canting  old  hypocrite  !  —  I  saw  what 
she  was  driving  at  all  the  while]  —  she  had  her  eye  on 
my  ring  !  —  She  'd  have  me  pawn  it  at  old  Balls's  —  ha, 
ha  :  —  ( latch   me  !  that  'a  all !  —  Seven   shillings  a-week 
for  this  nasty  hole  !  —  I  '11  be  bound  I  pay  nearly  half  the 
rent  of  the  whole  house  —  the  old  cormorant  !  —  out  of 
what  she  gets  from  me  !     How  I  hate  her !     More  than 
half  my  salary  goes  into  her  greasy  pocket !     Cuss  me  if 
I  could  n't  have  kicked  her  down-stairs  —  porter,   bread 
and  cheese,    and   all  —  while   she   was  standing  canting 
there  !  —  A  snivelling  old  beldam  !  —  Pawn  my  ring  !  !  — 
Lord  !  !  "  —  Here  he  began  to  undress.     "  Ha !  I  'm  up  to 
her;  she'll  be  coming  here  to-morrow,   with   that  devil 
Thumbscrew,  to  distrain,  I  '11  be  sworn.     Well  —  I  '11  take 
care  of  these  anyhow  ;  "  and,  kneeling  down  and  unlocking 
his  trunk,  he  took  out  of  it  his  guard-chaiu,  breast-pin, 
studs,  and  ring,  carefully  folded  them  up  in  paper,  and 
depositing   them   in   his  trousers'   pockets,  resolved  that 
henceforth  their  nightly  resting-place  should  be —  under 
his  pillow  ;  while  during  the  day  they  should  accompany 
his  person  whithersoever  he  went.     Next  he  bethought 
himself  of  the  two  or  three  important  papers  to  which 
Mr.  Gammon  had  referred  ;  and,  with  tremulous  eager- 
ness, read  them  over  once  or  twice,  but  without  being  able 
to  extract  from  them  the  slightest  clew  to  their  real  char- 


138  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

acter  and  bearing.  Then  he  folded  them  up  in  a  half 
sheet  of  writing-paper,  which  he  proceeded  to  stitch  care- 
fully beneath  the  lining  of  his  waistcoat ;  after  which  he 
blew  out  his  slim  candle,  and  with  a  heavy  sigh  got  into 
bed.  For  some  moments  after  he  had  blown  out  the 
candle  did  the  image  of  it  remain  on  his  aching  and  ex- 
cited retina;  and  just  so  long  did  the  thoughts  of  ten 
thousand  a-year  dwell  on  his  fancy,  fading,  however,  quickly 
away  amid  the  thickening  gloom  of  doubts,  and  fears,  and 
miseries,  which  oppressed  him.  There  he  lies,  stretched 
on  his  bed,  a  wretched  figure,  lying  on  his  breast,  his  head 
buried  beneath  his  feverish  arms.  Anon,  he  turns  round 
upon  his  back,  stretches  his  wearied  limbs  to  their  utter- 
most, folds  his  arms  on  his  breast,  then  buries  them  be- 
neath the  pillow,  under  his  head.  Now  he  turns  on  his 
right  side,  then  on  his  left  —  presently  he  starts  up,  and 
with  muttered  curse  shakes  his  little  pillow,  flinging  it 
down  angrily.  He  cannot  sleep  —  he  cannot  rest  —  he 
cannot  keep  still.  Bursting  with  irritability,  he  gets  out 
of  bed,  and  steps  to  the  window,  which  opening  wide,  a 
slight  gush  of  fresh  air  cools  his  hot  face  for  a  moment 
or  two.  His  wearied  eye  looks  upward  and  beholds  the 
moon  shining  overhead  in  .cold  splendor,  turning  the 
clouds  to  gold  as  they  flit  past  her,  and  shedding  a  soft- 
ened lustre  upon  the  tiled  roofs  and  irregular  chimney- 
pots—  the  only  objects  visible  to  him.  No  sound  is 
heard,  but  occasionally  the  dismal  cry  of  disappointed  cat, 
the  querulous  voice  of  the  watchman,  and  the  echo  of  the 
rumbling  hubbub  of  Oxford  Street.  0  miserable  Tit- 
mouse !  of  what  avail  is  it  for  thee  thus  to  fix  thy  sorrow- 
ful lack-lustre  eye  upon  the  cold  Queen  of  Night ! 

At  that  moment  there  happened  to  be  also  gazing  at 
the  same  glorious  object,  but  at  some  two  hundred  miles' 
distance  from  London,  a  very  different  person,  with  very 


TEN   THOUSAND    A-YEAR.  139 

different  feelings,  and  in  very  different  circumstances.  It 
ne  of  the  angela  of  the  earth  —  a  pure-hearted  and 
very  beautiful  girl ;  who,  after  a  day  of  peaceful,  innocent, 
and  charitable  employment,  and  having  just  quitted  the 
piano,  where  her  exquisite  strains  had  soothed  and  de- 
lighted the  feelings  of  her  brother,  harassed  with  politi- 
cal anxieties,  had  retired  to  her  chamber  for  the  night. 
A  few  moments  before  she  was  presented  to  the  reader, 
she  had  extinguished  her  taper,  and  dismissed  her  maid 
without  her  having  discharged  more  than  half  her  accus- 
tomed duties  —  telling  her  that  she  should  finish  undress- 
ing by  the  light  of  the  moon,  which  then  poured  her  soft 
radianoe  int<>  every  corner  of  the  spacious  but  old-fashioned 
chamber.  Then  she  drew  her  chair  to  the  wTindow-recess, 
and  pushing  open  the  window,  sat  before  it,  only  partially 
undressed  as  she  was,  her  hair  dishevelled,  her  head  lean- 
i  her  hand,  gazing  upon  the  scenery  before  her  with 
tranquil  admiration.  Silence  reigned  absolutely.  Xot  a 
sound  issued  from  the  ancient  groves,  which  spread  far 
and  wide  on  all  sides  of  the  fine  old  mansion  in  which 
she  dwelt  —  solemn  solitudes,  nor  yet  less  soothing  than 
solemn  !  Was  not  the  solitude  enhanced  by  a  glimpse 
she  caught  of  a  restless  fawn,  glancing  in  the  distance 
across  the  avenue,  as  he  silently  changed  the  tree  under 
which  he  slept  ?  —  Then  the  gentle  breeze  would  enter 
her  window,  laden  with  sweet  scents  of  which  he  had  just 
been  rifling  the  coy  flowers  beneath,  in  their  dewy  repose, 
tended  and  petted  during  the  day  by  her  own  delicate 
hand  !  —  Beautiful  moon  !  —  cold  and  chaste  in  thy  skyey 
palace,  studded  with  brilliant  and  innumerable  gems, 
and  shedding  down  thy  rich  and  tender  radiance  upon 
this  lovely  seclusion  —  was  there  upon  the  whole  earth 
a  more  exquisite  countenance  then  turned  towards  thee 
than  herel  —  Wrap  thy  white  robe,  dearest  Kate,  closer 
round  thy  fair  bosom,  lest  the  amorous  night-breeze  do 


140  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

thee  hurt,  for  he  groweth  giddy  with  the  sight  of  thy 
charms !  Thy  rich  tresses,  half-uncurled,  are  growing 
damp  —  so  it  is  time  that  thy  blue  eyes  should  seek  re- 
pose. Hie  thee,  then,  my  love  !  —  to  yon  antique  couch, 
with  its  quaint  carvings  and  satin  draperies  dimly  visible 
in  the  dusky  shade,  inviting  thee  to  sleep  :  and  having 
first  bent  in  cheerful  reverence  before  thy  Maker  —  to 
bed  !  —  to  bed  !  —  sweet  Kate,  nothing  disturbing  thy 
serene  slumbers,  or  agitating  that  beautiful  bosom.  — 
Hush!  hush! — now  she  sleeps!  It  is  well  that  thine 
eyes  are  closed  in  sleep  ;  for  behold  —  see  !  —  the  bright- 
ness without  is  disappearing ;  sadness  and  gloom  are  set- 
tling on  the  face  of  nature  ;  the  tranquil  night  is  changing 
her  aspect ;  clouds  are  gathering,  winds  are  moaning ;  the 
moon  is  gone  :  —  but  sleep  on,  sweet  Kate  —  sleep  on, 
dreaming  not  of  dark  days  before  thee  —  Oh,  that  thou 
couldst  sleep  on  till  the  brightness  returned  ! 

After  having  stood  thus  leaning  against  the  window  for 
nearly  half  an  hour,  Titmouse,  heavily  sighing,  returned 
to  bed  —  but  there  he  tossed  about  in  wretched  restless- 
ness till  nearly  four  o'clock  in  the  morning.  If  he  now 
and  then  sank  into  forgetfulness  for  a  while,  it  was  only 
to  be  harassed  by  the  dreadful  image  of  Mrs.  Squallop, 
shouting  at  him,  tearing  his  hair,  cuffing  him,  flinging  a 
pot  of  porter  in  his  face,  opening  his  boxes,  tossing  his 
clothes  about,  taking  out  his  invaluable  ornaments;  by. 
Tag-rag  kicking  him  out  of  the  shop  ;  and  Messrs.  Quirk, 
Gammon,  and  Snap  dashing  past  him  in  a  fine  carriage, 
with  six  horses,  and  paying  no  attention  to  him  as  he  ran 
shouting  and  breathless  after  him ;  Huckaback  following, 
kicking  and  pinching  him  behind.  These  were  the  few 
little  bits  of  different  colored  glass  in  a  mental  kaleido- 
scope, which,  turned  capriciously  round,  produced  those 
innumerable  fantastic  combinations  out  of  the  simple  and 


TEN    THOUSAND    A-YKA1I.  141 

ordinary  events  of  the  day,  which  we  oall  dreamt — tricks 
of  the  wild  sisters  Fancy,  when  sober  Reason  lias  left   her 

Beat  for  a  while.     Bat  this  is  fitter  for  the  Royal  Society 

than  the  bedroom  of  Tittlebat  Titmouse  ;  and   I    beg  the 
reader's  pardon. 

it   six  o'clock,  Titmouse  rose  and  dressed  himself; 
and,  Blipping  noiselessly  and  swiftly  down-stairs,  and  out 
of  the  court,  in  order  to  avoid  all  possibility  of  encounter- 
ing his   landlady  or  his  tailor,  soon  found   himself  in  Ox- 
t  rd  Street,     Not  many  people  were  stirring  there.     One 
or  two  men  who  passed  him  were  smoking  their  morn- 
pipe,  with  a  half-awakened   air,  as  if  they  had  only 
g   X   out   of  a  snug  bed,  in  which   they  always  slept 
every  moment  that  they  lay  upon  it.     Titmouse  almost 
envied   them  I     What  a  squalid  figure  he  looked,  as  he 
I   up  and  down,  till  at  length  he  saw  the  porter  of 
ig-rag  ife  Co.  opening  the  shop-door.     He  soon 
entered  it,  and  commenced  another  jocund  day  in  that 
delightful  establishment.     The  amiable  Mr.  Tag-rag  con- 
tinued unaltered. 

•■  You're  at  liberty  to  take  yourself  off,  sir,  this  very 
day  —  this  moment,  sir;  and  a  good  riddance,"  said  he, 
bitterly,  during  the  course  of  the  day,  after  demanding  of 
Titmouse  how  he  dared  to  give  himself  such  sullen  airs ; 
"  and  then  we  shall  see  how  charming  easy  it  is  for  gents 
like  you  to  get  another  sitiwation,  sir  !  Your  looks  and 
manner  is  quite  a  recommendation,  sir  !  If  I  was  you, 
sir,  I'd  raise  my  terms!  You're  worth  double  what  I 
give,  sir !  "  Titmouse  made  no  reply.  "  What  do  you 
mean,  sir,  by  not  answering  me  —  eh,  sir  ? "  suddenly 
demanded  Mr.   Tag-rag,  with  a  look  of  fury. 

"  I  don't  know  what  you  'd  have  me  say,  sir.  What 
am   I  to  Bay,  sir]"  inquired  Titmouse,  with  a  sigh. 

"  What,  indeed  !     I  should  like  to  catch  you  !     Say, 
i  !     (July  say  a  word  - —  and  out  you  go,  neck  and 


142  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

crop.  Attend  to  that  old  lady  coming  in,  sir.  And 
mind,  sir,  I  've  got  my  eye  on  you  !  "  Titmouse  did  as 
he  was  bid  j  and  Tag-rag,  a  bland  smile  suddenly  beam- 
ing on  his  attractive  features,  hurried  down  towards  the 
door,  to  receive  some  lady-customers,  whom  he  observed 
alighting  from  a  carriage ;  and  at  that  moment  you 
would  have  sworn  that  he  was  one  of  the  kindest-hearted 
sweetest-tempered  men  in  the  world. 

When  at  length  this  day  had  come  to  a  close,  Tit- 
mouse, instead  of  repairing  to  his  lodgings,  set  off,  with  a 
heavy  heart,  to  pay  a  visit  to  his  excellent  friend  Hucka- 
back, whom  he  knew  to  have  received  his  quarter's  salary 
the  day  before,  and  from  whom  he  faintly  hoped  to  suc- 
ceed in  extorting  some  trifling  loan.  "  If  you  want  to 
learn  the  value  of  money,  try  to  borrow  some,"  says  Poor 
Eichard  —  and  Titmouse  was  now  going  to  learn  that 
useful  but  bitter  lesson.  Oh,  how  disheartening  was  Mr. 
Huckaback's  reception  of  him  !  That  gentleman,  in  an- 
swering the  modest  knock  of  Titmouse,  suspecting  who 
wras  his  visitor,  opened  the  door  but  a  little  way,  and  in 
that  little  way,  with  his  hand  on  the  latch,  he  stood,  with 
a  plainly  repulsive  look. 

"  Oh  !  it 's  you,  Titmouse,  is  it  1 "  he  commenced 
coldly. 

"  Yes.  I  —  I  just  want  to  speak  a  word  to  you  —  only 
a  word  or  two,  Hucky,  if  you  are  n't  busy  1" 

"  Why,  I  was  just  going  to  go  —  but  what  d'ye  want, 
Titmouse  1 "  he  inquired  in  a  freezing  manner,  not  stir- 
ring from  where  he  stood. 

"  Let  me  come  inside  a  minute,"  implored  Titmouse, 
feeling  as  if  his  little  heart  were  really  dropping  out  of 
him :  and,  in  a  most  ungracious  manner,  Huckaback 
motioned  him  in. 

"  Well,"  commenced  Huckaback,  with  a  chilling  dis- 
trustful look. 


TEX  THOUSAND  A-YBAK.  143 

"Why,   Huok,    I    know    you're    a    good-natured    chap 

—  yon    couldn't,  just    for   a   short    time,    lend   me    ten 

ghai"  — 

"No,  curse  me  if  I  can:  and  that's  flat!"  briskly 
interrupted  Huckaback,  finding  his  worst  suspicions 
continued. 

"Why,  Hucky,  wasn't  you  only  yesterday  paid  your 
salarj 

"Well!  —  suppose  I  was?  —  what  then'?  You're  a 
monstrous  cool  hand,  Titmouse  !  I  never  !  !  So  I  'm  to 
lend  to  you,  when  I'm  starving  myself!  I've  received 
such  a  lot,  too,  haven't  I?" 

"  I  thought  we  \1  always  been  friends,  Hucky,"  said 
Titmouse,  faintly  ;  "  and  so  we  should  n't  mind  helping 
one  another  a  hit  !  Don't  you  remember,  I  once  lent 
you  half-a-erown  ? " 

" Half-a-cro wn  !  —  and  that 's  nine  months  ago  !  " 

"Do,  Hucky,  do  lend  me  a  few  shillings.  'Pon  my 
soul,  I  've  not  a  sixpence  in  the  whole  world." 

"  Ha,  ha  !  A  pretty  chap  to  borrow  !  You  can  pay 
so  well  !     By  George,  Titmouse,  you  're  a  cool  hand  !  " 

"  If  you  won't  lend  me,   I  must  starve." 

"  Go  to  my  uncle's."    [Titmouse  groaned  aloud.]    "  Well 

—  and  why  not  1  What  of  that?"  continued  Huckaback, 
sharply  and  bitterly.  "  I  dare  say  it  would  n't  be  the 
first  time  you  've  done  such  a  trick  no  more  than  me. 
I  've  been  obligated  to  do  it.  Why  should  n't  you  ?  A'n't 
there  that  ring?" 

"  Oh,  Lord  !  oh,  Lord  !  that 's  just  what  Mrs.  Squallop 
said  last  night  !  " 

"  Whew  !  She  's  down  on  you,  is  she  ?  And  you  have 
the  face  to  come  to  me!!  You  —  that's  a-going  to  be 
sold  up,  come  to  borrow  !  Lord,  that 's  good,  anyhow  ! 
A  queer  use  that  to  make  of  one's  friends  ;  —  it 's  a  tak- 
ing them  in,  I  say  ! " 


144  TEN   THOUSAND  A-YEAK. 

"Oh,  Huck,  Huck,  if  you  only  knew  what  a  poor 
devil  " 

"  Yes,  that 's  what  I  was  a-saying ;  but  it  a'n't  '  poor 
devils '  one  lends  money  to  so  easily,  I  warrant  me ; 
though  you  a'n't  such  a  poor  devil  —  you  're  only  sham- 
ming !  Where  's  your  guard-chain,  your  studs,  your 
breast-pin,  your  ring,  and  all  that  1  Sell  'em  !  if  not, 
anyhow,  pawn  'em.  Can't  eat  your  cake  and  have  it ; 
fine  back  must  have  empty  belly  with  us  sort  of 
chaps." 

"  If  you  '11  only  be  so  uncommon  kind  as  to  lend  me  — 
this  once  —  ten  shillings,"  continued  Titmouse,  in  an  im- 
ploring tone,  "  I  '11  bind  myself,  by  a  solemn  oath,  to 
pay  you  the  very  first  moment  I  get  what 's  due  to  me 

from   Tag-rag   &    Co." Here  he  was  almost  choked. 

by  the  sudden  recollection  that  he  had  next  to  nothing 
to  receive. 

"  You  've  some  property  in  the  moon,  too,  that 's  com- 
ing to  you,  you  know  !  "  said  Huckaback,  with  an  insult- 
ing sneer. 

"  I  know  what  you  ?re  driving  at,"  said  poor  Titmouse ; 
and  he  continued  eagerly,  "  and  if  anything  should  ever 
come  up  from  Messrs.  Quirk,  Gam" 

"  Yough  !  Faugh  !  Pish  !  Stuff !  "  burst  out  Huckaback, 
in  a  tone  of  contempt  and  disgust ;  "  never  thought  there 
was  anything  in  it,  and  now  know  it !  It 's  all  my  eye, 
and  all  that !  You  've  been  only  humbugging  me  all  this 
while ! " 

"  Oh,  Hucky,  Hucky  !  You  don  't  say  so  !  "  groaned 
Titmouse,  bursting  into  tears ;  "  you  did  not  always  say 
so." 

"  It 's  enough  that  I  say  it  now,  then  ;  will  that  do  1 " 
interrupted  Huckaback,  impetuously. 

"  Oh,  Lord,  Lord !  what  is  to  become  of  me  ? "  cried 
Titmouse,  with  a  face  full  of  anguish. 


TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR.  145 

[At  this  moment,  the  following  was  the  course  of  thought 
passing  through  the  mind  of  Mr.  Huckaback  :  —  It  is  not 
certain  that  nothing  will  come  of  the  fellow's  affair  with 
's.  Quirk,  Gammon,  and  Snap.  It  was  hardly  likely 
that  they  would  have  gone  as  tar  as  Titmouse  represented, 
lawyers  as  they  were),  unless  they  had  seen  very  sub- 
stantial grounds  for  doing  so.  Besides,  even  though  Tit- 
mouse might  not  get  ten  thousand  a-year,  he  might  yet 
succeed  in  obtaining  a  very  splendid  sum  of  money  :  and 
if  he  (Huckaback)  could  but  get  a  little  slice  out  of  it, 
Titmouse  was  now  nearly  desperate,  and  would  promise 
anything  ;  and  if  he  could  but  be  wheedled  into  giving 
anything  in  writing — Well,  thought  Huckaback,  I  '11  try 
it   however  !] 

u  Ah.  Titmouse,  you  're  civil  enough  now,  and  would 
promise  anything,"  said  Huckaback,  appearing  to  hesitate  ; 
"  but  supposing  I  were  to  do  what  you  want,  when  you 
got  your  money  you  'd  forget  everything  about  it" 

••  Forget  my  promise  !  Dear  Hucky  !  only  try  me  — 
do  try  me  but  once,  that 's  all  !  Ton  my  precious  life, 
ten  shillings  is  worth  more  to  me  now  than  a  hundred 
pounds  may  be  by-and-by." 

"  Ay,  so  you  say  now  ;  but  d'  ye  mean  to  tell  me,  that 
in  case  I  was  now  to  advance  you  ten  shillings  out  of  my 
small  salary/'  continued  Huckaback,  apparently  carelessly, 
••you'd,  for  instance,  pay  me  a  hundred  pounds  out  of 
your  thousands  i  " 

u  Oh,  Lord  !  only  you  try  me  —  do  try  me  !  "  said 
Titmouse,  eagerly. 

"  Oh,  I  dare  say  ! "  interrupted  Huckaback,  smiling  in- 
credulously, and  chinking  some  money  in  his  trousers 
pocket.  Titmouse  heard  it,  and  (as  the  phrase  is)  his 
teeth  watered ;  and  he  immediately  swore  such  a  tremen- 
dous oath  as  I  dare  not  set  down  in  writing,  that  if 
Huckaback  would  that  evening  lend   him  ten  shillings, 

VuL.   I.  —  10 


146  TEN    THOUSAND   A-YEAIL 

Titmouse  would  give  him  one  hundred  pounds  out  of  the 
very  first  moneys  he  got  from  the  estate. 

"  Ten  shillings  is  a  slapping  slice  out  of  my  little 
salary  —  I  shall  have,  by  George,  to  go  without  lots  of 
things  I  'd  intended  getting ;  it 's  really  worth  ten  pounds 
to  me,  just  now." 

"  Why,  dear  Hucky  !  'pon  my  life,  't  is  worth  a  hun- 
dred to  me  !  Mrs.  Squallop  will  sell  me  out,  bag  and 
baggage,  if  I  don't  give  her  something  to-morrow  ! " 

"Well,  if  I  really  thought  —  hem  !  —  would  you  mind 
giving  me,  now,  a  bit  of  black  and  white  for  it  —  just  (as 
one  might  say)  to  show  you  was  in  earnest]" 

"  I  '11  do  anything  you  like  ;  only  let  me  feel  the  ten 
shillings  in  my  fingers  !  " 

"  Well,  no  sooner  said  than  done,  if  you  're  a  man  of 
your  word,"  said  Huckaback,  in  a  trice  producing  a  bit 
of  paper,  and  a  pen  and  ink.  "  So,  only  just  for  the  fun 
of  it ;  but  —  Lord  !  what  stuff  !  —  I  'm  only  bargaining 
for  a  hundred  pounds  of  moonshine.  Ha,  ha  !  I  shall 
never  see  the  color  of  your  money,  not  I;  so  I  may 
as  well  say  two  hundred  when  I  'm  about  it,  as  one 
hundred  " 

"  Why,  hem  !  Two  hundred,  Huck,  is  rather  a  large 
figure  ;  one  hundred  's  odds  enough,  I  'm  sure  ! "  quoth 
Titmouse,  meekly. 

"  P'r'aps,  Tit,  you  forget  the  licking  you  gave  me  the 
other  day,"  said  Huckaback,  with  sudden  sternness.  "  Sup- 
pose I  was  to  go  to  an  attorney,  and  get  the  law  of  you, 
what  a  sight  of  damages  I  should  have  —  three  hundred 
pounds  at  least !  " 

Titmouse  appeared  even  yet  hesitating. 

"  Well,  then  ! "  said  Huckaback,  flinging  down  his  pen, 
"  suppose  I  have  them  damages  yet  " 

"  Come,  come,  Hucky,  't  is  all  past  and  gone,  all 
that "  — 


TEN    THOUSAND    A-YEAK.  147 

"  Is  it  ]  Well,  I  never  !  I  shall  never  be  again  the 
same  man  I  was  before  that  'ere  licking.  I  've  a  sort  of 
a  —  a  —  of  a  —  feeling  inside,  as  if  —  my  breast  was  — 
1  shall  carry  it  to  my  grave  —  cnrse  me  if  I  slia 'n't !  " 

[It  never  once  occurred  to  Titmouse,  not  having  his 
friend  Mr.  Gammon  at  his  elbow,  that  the  plaintiff  in  the 
action  of  Huckaback  >\  Titmouse  might  have  been  slightly 
at  a  loss  for  a  witness  of  the  assault ;  but  something  quite 
as  go  id  in  its  way  —  a  heaven-sent  suggestion  —  did  occur 
to  him.] 

"Ah,"  said  Titmouse,  suddenly,  "  that's  true ;  and  un- 
common sorry  am  I  ;  but  still,  a  hundred  pounds  is  a 
hundred  pounds,  and  a  large  sum  for  the  use  of  ten  shil- 
lings, and  a  licking;  but  never  you  think  it's  all  moon- 
shine about  my  business  with  Messrs.  Qnirk,  Gammon, 
and  Snap!  I  didn't  intend  to  have  said  a  word — but 
—  you  should  only  have  heard  what  I've  heard  to-day 
from  those  gents  ;  hem  !  but  I  won't  split  again  either  !  " 
he  added  mysteriously. 

11  Eh  1  What  %  Heard  from  those  gents  at  Saffron 
Hill  I  "  interrupted  Huckaback,  briskly  ;  "  come,  Titty, 
out  with  it  —  out  with  it ;  no  secrets  between  friends, 
Titty  ! " 

"  Xo,  I  '11  be  hanged  if  I  do  —  I  won't  spoil  it  all  again  ; 
and  now,  since  I've  let  out  as  much,  which  I  didn't  mean 
to  do,  I  '11  tell  you  something  else  —  ten  shillings  is  no 
use  to  me,  I  must  have  a  pound." 

11  Titty,  Titty  ! "  exclaimed  Huckaback,  with  unaffected 
concern. 

"And  I  won't  give  more  than  fifty  for  it  when  I  get 

my  property  either  " [Huckaback  whistled  aloud,  and 

with  a  significant  air  buttoned  up  the  pocket  which  con- 
tained the  money ;  intimating  that  now  the  negotiation 
was  all  at  an  end,  for  that  Titmouse's  new  terms  were 
quite  out  of  the  question;  ]  "for  I  know  where  I  can  get 


148  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAK. 

twenty  pounds  easily,  only  I  liked  to  come  to  a  friend 
first." 

"  You  are  n't  behaving  much  like  a  friend  to  one  as 
has  always  been  a  fast  friend  of  yours,  Titty  !     A  pound  ! 

—  I  have  n't  got  it  to  part  with,  that 's  flat ;  so,  if  that's 
really  your  lowest  figure,  whj^,  you  must  even  go  to  your 
other  friend,  and  leave  poor  Hucky  !  " 

"  Well,  I  don't  mind  saying  only  ten  shillings,"  quoth 
Titmouse,  fearing  that  he  had  been  going  on  rather  too 
fast. 

"  Ah,  that  's  something  reasonable-like,  Titty  !  and  to 
meet  you  like  a  friend,  I  '11  take  fifty  pounds  instead  of  a 
hundred  ;  but  you  won't  object  now  to  —  you  know  —  a 
deposit j  that  ring  of  yours  —  well,  well  !  it  don't  signify, 
since  it  goes  against  you  ;  so  now,  here  goes,  a  bit  of 
paper  for  ten  shillings,  ha,  ha  !  "  and  taking  a  pen,  after 
a  pause,  in  which  he  called  to  mind  as  much  of  the  phras- 
eology of  money  securities  as  he  could,  he  drew  up  the 
following  stringent  document,  which  I  give  verbatim  et 
literatim ;  — 

"  Know  all  Men  That  you  are  bound  to  Mr.  R.  Huckaback 
Promising  the  Bearer  (on  Demand)  To  Pay  Fifty  Pounds  in 
cash  out  of  the  estate,  if  you  Get  it.     (Value  received.) 

"  (Witness,)  22d  July  18  —  . 
"  R.  Huckaback." 

"  There,  Titty  —  if  you  're  an  honest  man,  and  would  do 
as  you  would  be  done  by,"  said  Huckaback,  after  signing 
his  own  name  as  above,  handing  the  pen  to  Titmouse, 
"  sign  that ;  just  to  show  your  honor,  like —  for  in  course 

—  bating  the  ten  shillings  I  've  lent  you  —  I  sha'n't  ever 
come  on  you  for  the  money  —  get  as  much  as  you  may." 

A  blessed  thought  occurred  to  poor  Titmouse  in  his  ex- 
tremity, viz.  that  there  was  no  stamp  on  the  above  instru- 
ment,  (and  he  had  never  seen  a  promissory-note  or  bill 


TEN    THOUSAND   A- YEAR  149 

of  exchange  without  one  ;  )  and  he  signed  it  instantly, 
with  many  fervent  expressions  of  gratitude.  Huckaback 
received  the  valuable  security  with  apparently  a  careless 
air  ;  and  after  cramming  it  into  his  pocket,  as  if  it  had 
been  in  reality  only  a  bit  of  waste  paper,  counted  out  ten 
shillings  into  the  eager  hand  of  Titmouse  ;  who,  having 
thus  most  unexpectedly  succeeded  in  his  mission,  soon 
afterwards  departed  —  each  of  this  pair  of  worthies  fancy- 
ing that  he  had  succeeded  in  cheating  the  other.  Huck- 
aback, having  very  cordially  shaken  Titmouse  by  the 
hand,  heartily  damned  him  upon  shutting  the  door  on 
him ;  and  then  anxiously  perused  and  re-perused  his 
•  rity,"  wondering  whether  it  was  possible  for  Tit- 
mouse at  any  time  thereafter  to  evade  it,  and  considering 
by  what  means  he  could  acquaint  himself  with  the  prog- 
ress of  Titmouse's  affairs.  The  latter  gentleman,  as  he 
hurried  homeward,  dwelt  for  a  long  while  upon  only  one 
thought  —  how  fortunate  was  the  omission  of  his  friend 
to  have  a  stamp  upon  his  security  !  When  and  where, 
thought  he,  was  it  that  he  had  heard  that  nothing  would 
do  without  a  stamp  ?  However,  he  had  got  the  ten  shil- 
lings safe  ;  and  Huckaback  might  wait  for  his  fifty  pounds 
till  —  but  in  the  meanwhile  he,  Titmouse,  seemed  to  stand 
a  fair  chance  of  going  to  the  dogs  ;  the  ten  shillings,  which 
he  had  just  obtained  with  so  much  difficulty,  were  to  find 
their  way  immediately  into  the  pockets  of  his  landlady, 
whom  it  might  pacify  fur  a  day  or  two,  and  to  what  quar- 
ter was  he  now  to  look  for  the  smallest  assistance  I  "What 
was  to  become  of  him  ]  Titmouse  was  a  miserable  fool ; 
but  thoughts  such  as  these,  in  such  circumstances  as  his, 
would  have  forced  themselves  into  the  mind  of  even  a 
fool !  How  could  he  avoid  —  oh,  horrid  thought  !  —  soon 
parting  with,  or  at  least  pawning,  his  ring  and  his  other 
precious  trinkets'?  He  burst  into  a  perspiration  at  the 
mere  thought  of  seeing  them  hanging  ticketed  for  sale  in 


150  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAK. 

the  window  of  old  Balls  !  As  he  slowly  ascended  the 
stairs  which  led  to  his  apartment,  he  felt  as  if  he  were 
following  some  unseen  conductor  to  a  dungeon. 

He  was  not  aware  that  all  this  while,  although  he  heard 
nothing  from  them,  he  occupied  almost  exclusively  the 
thoughts  of  those  distinguished  practitioners  in  the  law, 
Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon,  and  Snap.  They,  in  common  with 
Huckaback,  had  an  intense  desire  to  share  in  his  antici- 
pated good  fortune,  and  determined  to  do  so  according  to 
their  opportunities.  The  excellent  Huckaback  (a  model 
of  an  usurer  on  a  small  scale)  had  promptly  and  adroitly 
seized  hold  of  the  very  first  opportunity  that  presented 
itself,  for  securing  a  little  return  hereafter  for  the  ten 
shillings,  with  which  he  had  so  generously  parted  when 
he  could  so  ill  afford  it;  while  Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon, 
and  Snap  were  racking  their  brains,  and  from  time  to 
time,  those  of  Messrs.  Mortmain  and  Frankpledge,  to  dis- 
cover some  instrument  strong  and  large  enough  to  cut  a 
fat  slice  for  themselves  out  of  the  fortune  they  were  en- 
deavoring, for  that  purpose,  to  put  within  the  reach  of 
Mr.  Titmouse.  A  rule  of  three  mode  of  stating  the  matter 
would  be  thus  :  as  the  inconvenience  of  Huckaback's  part- 
ing with  his  ten  shillings  and  his  waiver  of  damages  for  a 
very  cruel  assault,  were  to  his  contingent  gain,  hereafter, 
of  fifty  pounds;  so  were  Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon,  and 
Snap's  risk,  exertions,  outlay,  and  benefit  conferred  on  Tit- 
mouse, to  their  contingent  gain  of  ten  thousand  pounds. 
The  principal  point  of  difference  between  them  was  —  as 
to  the  mode  of  securing  their  future  recompense  ;  in  which 
it  may  have  been  observed  by  the  attentive  reader,  with 
respect  to  the  precipitancy  of  Huckaback  and  the  hesitat- 
ing caution  of  Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon,  and  Snap,  that  — 
"  thus  fools"  (  e.  g.  Huckaback)  "rushed  in  where  angels" 
(i.  e.  Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon,  and  Snap)  "feared  to  tread." 
Let  me  not,  however,  for  a  moment,  insinuate  that  both 


TEX    THOUSAND   A-YEAK.  151 

these  parties  were  actuated  by  only  one  motive,  i.  e.  to 
make  a  prey  of  this  little  monkey  miUumnaire  that  was 
to  be.  T  is  true  that  Huckaback  appears  to  have  driven 
rather  a  hard  bargain  with  his  distressed  friend,  (and  al- 
most every  one  who,  being  similarly  situated,  has  occasion 
for  such  services  as  Titmouse  sought  from  Huckaback, 
will  find  himself  called  upon  to  pay,  in  one  way  or  an- 
other, pretty  nearly  the  same  price  for  them  ;)  but  it  was 
attended  with  one  good  effect;  —  for  the  specific  interest 
in  Titmouse's  future  prosperity,  acquired  by  Huckaback, 
quickened  the  latter  gentleman's  energies  and  sharpened 
his  wits  in  the  service  of  his  friend.  But  for  this,  indeed,  it 
is  probable  that  Mr.  Huckaback's  door  would  have  be- 
come as  hopelessly  closed  against  Titmouse  as  was  that  of 
Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon,  and  Snap.  Some  two  or  three 
nights  after  the  little  transaction  between  the  two  friends 
which  1  have  been  describing,  Huckaback  called  upon  Tit- 
mouse, and  after  greeting  him  rather  cordially,  told  him 
that  he  had  come  to  put  him  up  to  a  trick  upon  the  Saf- 
fron Hill  people,  that  would  tickle  them  into  a  little  ac- 
tivity in  his  affairs.  The  trick  was  —  the  sending  a  letter 
to  those  gentlemen  calculated  to  —  but  why  attempt  to 
characterize  it  ?  I  have  the  original  document  lying  be- 
fore me,  which  was  sent  by  Titmouse  the  very  next  morn- 
ing to  Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon,  and  Snap  ;  and  here  follows 
a  verbatim  copy  of  it :  — 

"  No.  9,  Closet  Court,  Oxford  Street. 
-  To  Messrs.  Querk  &  Co. 

"  Gents,  — Am  Sorry  to  Trouble  You,  But  Being  Drove  quite 
desperatr  at  my  Troubles  (which  have  bro*  me  to  my  Last  Penny 
a  Week  ago)  and  Mrs.  Squallop  my  Landlady  wd  distrain  on  Me 
only  that  There  Is  nothing  to  distrain  on,  Am  Determined  to 
Go  Abroad  in  a  Week's  Time,  and  shall  Never  come  Any  More 
back  again  with  Great  Grief  wh  Is  What  I  now  Write  To  tell 
You  Of  (Hoping  you  will  please  Take  No  notice  of  It)  So  Need 


152  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

give  Yourselves  No  Further  Concern  with  my  Concerns  Seeing 
The  Estate  is  Not  To  Be  Had  and  Am  Sorry  you  Shd  Have 
Had  so  Much  trouble  with  My  Affairs  wb  cd  not  Help.  Shd 
have  Much  liked  The  Thing,  only  it  Was  Not  worth  Stopping 
For,  or  Would,  but  Since  It  Was  not  God's  Will  be  Done  which 
it  Will.  Havg  raised  a  Trifle  On  my  Future  Prospects  (wh  am 
Certain  There  is  Nothing  In)  from  a  True  Friend "  [need  it 
be  guessed  at  whose  instance  these  words  had  found  their  way 
into  the  letter  ?]  "  wh  was  certainly  uncommon  inconvenient 
to  That  Person  But  He  wd  do  Anything  to  Do  me  good  As  Jie 
says  Am  going  to  raise  A  Little  More  from  a  Gent  That  does 
Thivgs  of  That  Nature  wh  will  help  me  with  Expense  in  Going 
Abroad  (which  place  I  Never  mean  to  Return  from.)  Have 
fixed  for  the  10th  To  Go  on  wh  Day  Shall  Take  leave  Of  Mr. 
Tag-rag  (who  on  my  Return  Shall  be  glad  to  See  Buried  or  in 
the  Workhouse.)  Have  wrote  This  letter  Only  to  Save  Yr  Re- 
spectable Selves  trouble  wh  Trust  You  wa  not  have  Taken. 

"And  Remain, 

"  Gents, 
"  Yr  humble  Unworthy  servant, 

"  T.  Titmouse. 

"P.S.  —  Hope  you  will  Particularly  Remember  me  to  Mr. 
Gamon.  What  is  to  become  of  me,  know  nothing,  being  so 
troubled.  Am  Humbly  Determined  not  to  employ  any  Gents 
in  This  matter  except  yr  most  Respectable  House,  and  shd  be 
most  Truly  Sorry  to  Go  Abroad  whh  am  really  Often  thinking  of 
in  Earnest,  Unless  something  Speedily  Turns  Up,  favorable, 
T.  T.  — Shd  like  (By  the  way)  to  know  if  you  shd  be  so  Dis- 
posed wThat  yr  respe  house  wd  take  for  my  Chances  Down  (Out 
and  out)  In  a  Round  Sum  (Ready  money).  And  hope  if  they 
Write  It  will  be  by  Next  Post  or  Shall  be  Gone  Abroad." 

Old  Mr.  Quirk,  as  soon  as  he  had  finished  the  perusal 
of  this  skilful  document,  started,  a  little  disturbed,  from 
his  seat,  and  bustled  into  Mr.  Gammon's  room  with  Mr. 
Titmouse's  open  letter  in  his  hand.  —  "  Gammon,"  said 
he,  "just  cast  your  eye  over  this,  will  you?  Really,  we 
must  look  after  Titmouse,  or,  by  Jove  !  he  '11  be  gone  ! " 


TEN    THOUSAND    A-YEAK.  153 

Mr.  Gammon  took  the  letter  rather  eagerly,  read  deliber- 
ately through  it,  and  then  looked  lip  at  his  fidgety  part- 
ner, who  stood  anxiously  eying  him,  and  smiled. 

"  Well,  Gammon,  I  really  think  — eh  ?     Don't  yon" 

"  Upon  my  word,  Mr.  Quirk,  this  nearly  equals  his  last 
letter  ;  and  it  also  seems  to  have  produeed  on  you  the 
effect  desired  by  its  gifted  writer  !  " 

"Well.  Gammon,  and  what  of  that1?  Because  my 
heart  don't  happen  to  be  quite  a  piece  of  flint,  you're 
always  "  — 

"  You  might  have  been  a  far  wealthier  man  than  you 
are  but  for  that  soft  heart  of  yours,  Mr.  Quirk,"  said  Gam- 
mon, with  a  bland  smile. (!) 

"  I  know  I  might,  Gammon  —  I  know  it.  I  thank  my 
God  I  'm  not  so  keen  after  business  that  1  can't  feel  for 
this  poor  soul  —  really,  his  state  's  quite  deplorable." 

"Then,  my  dear  sir,  put  your  hand  into  your  pocket 
at  once,  as  I  was  suggesting  last  night,  and  allow  him  a 
weekly  sum." 

"  A — hem  !  hem !  Gammon  "  —  said  Quirk,  sitting  down, 
thrusting  his  hands  into  his  waistcoat  pockets,  and  look- 
ing very  earnestly  at  Gammon. 

"  Well,  then,"  replied  that  gentleman,  shrugging  his 
shoulders,  in  answer  to  the  mute  appeal  — "  write  and 
say  you  won't  —  't  is  soon  done,  and  so  the  matter  ends." 

"  Why,  Gammon,  you  see,  if  he  goes  abroad,"  said 
Quirk,  after  a  long  pause  —  "we  lose  him  forever." 

"  Pho  !  —  go  abroad  !  He  's  too  much  for  yon,  Mr.  Quirk 
—  he  is  indeed,  ha,  ha  !  " 

"You  're  fond  of  a  laugh  at  my  expense,  Gammon  ;  it's 
quite  pleasant  —  you  can't  think  how  I  like  that  laugh  of 
yours  !  " 

"I  beg  your  pardon,  Mr.  Quirk  —  but  you  really  mis- 
understand me  ;  I  was  laughing  only  at  the  absurd  incon- 
sistency of  the  fellow  :  he  's  a  most  transparent  little  fool, 


154  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAK. 

and  takes  lis  for  such.     Go  abroad  !    Eidiculous  pretence  ! 

—  In  his  precious  postscript  he  undoes  all  —  he  says  he  is 
only  often  thinking  of  going  —  pshaw  !  —  That  the  wretch 
is  in  great  distress,  is  very  probable  ;  but  it  must  go  hard 
with  him  before  he  either  commits  suicide  or  goes  abroad, 
I  warrant  him  :  I  've  no  fears  on  that  score  —  but  there  is 
a  point  in  the  letter  that  may  be  worth  considering  —  I 
mean  the  fellow's  hint  about  borrowing  money  on  his 
prospects." 

"  Yes,  to  be  sure  —  the  very  thing  that  struck  me." 
[Gammon  faintly  smiled.]  "  I  never  thought  much  about 
the  other  part  of  the  letter  —  all  stuff  about  going  abroad 

—  pho  !  — But  to  be  sure,  if  he  's  trying  to  raise  money, 
he  may  get  into  keen  hands.  —  Do  you  really  think  he 
has  been  trying  on  anything  of  the  sort  1 " 

"  Oh  no  —  of  course  it 's  only  a  little  lie  of  his  —  or  he 
must  have  found  out  some  greater  fool  than  himself, 
which  I  had  not  supposed  possible.  But  however  that 
may  be,  I  really  think,  Mr.  Quirk,  it 's  high  time  that  we 
should  take  some  decided  step." 

"Well, — yes,  it  may  be,"  said  Quirk,  slowly  —  "and 
I  must  say  that  Mortmain  encouraged  me  a  good  deal  the 
day  before  yesterday." 

"Well,  and  you  know  what  Mr.  Frankpledge  " 

"  Oh,  as  to  Frankpledge  —  hem  !  " 

"  What  of  Mr.  Frankpledge,  Mr.  Quirk  1 "  inquired  Gam- 
mon, rather  tartly. 

"  There  !  there  !  —  Always  the  way  —  but  what  does  it 
signify  %  Come,  come,  Gammon,  we  know  each  other  too 
well  to  quarrel !  —  I  don't  mean  anything  disrespectful  to 
Mr.  Frankpledge,  but  when  Mortmain  has  been  one's  con- 
veyancer these  twenty  years,  and  never  once  —  hem  !  — 
but,  however,  he  tells  me  that  we  are  now  standing  on 
sure  ground,  or  that  he  don't  know  what  sure  ground  is, 
and  sees  no  objection  to  our  even  taking  preliminary  steps 


TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR.  155 

in  the  matter,  which  indeed  I  begin  to  think  it  high  time 
to  do  !  —  And  as  for  securing  ourselves  in  respect  of  any 
advances  to  Titmouse  —  he  suggests  our  taking  a  bond, 
conditioned  —  say,  for  the  payment  of  £500  or  £1,000  on 
demand,  under  cover  of  which  one  might  advance  him, 
you  know,  just  such  sums  as,  and  when  we  pleased  ;  one 
ould  stop  when  one  thought  fit;  one  could  begin  with 
three  or  four  pounds  a-week,  and  increase  as  his  prospects 
improved  —  eh  !" 

••  You  know  I've  no  objection  to  such  an  arrangement ; 
but  consider,  Mr.  Quirk,  we  must  have  patience  ;  it  will 
take  a  long  while  to  get  our  verdict,  you  know,  and  per- 
haps as  long  to  secure  it  afterwards ;  and  this  horrid  little 
wretch  all  the  while  on  our  hands ;  what  the  deuce  to  do 
with  him,  I  really  don't  know  !  " 

"  Humph,  humph  ! "  grunted  Quirk,  looking  very  earn- 
estly and  uneasily  at  Gammon. 

'•And  what  I  chiefly  fear  is  this,  —  suppose  he  should 
get  dissatisfied  with  the  amount  of  our  advances,  and, 
knowing  the  state  and  prospects  of  the  cause,  should 
then  turn  restive  1 " 

"  Ay,  confound  it,  Gammon,  all  that  should  be  looked 
to,  should  n't  it  1 "  interrupted  Quirk,  with  an  exceed- 
ingly chagrined  air.  "  I  always  like  to  look  a  long  way 
a-head  ! " 

"  To  be  sure,"  continued  Gammon,  thoughtfully  ;  "  by 
that  time  he  may  have  got  substantial  friends  about  him, 
whom  he  could  persuade  to  become  security  to  us  for  fur- 
ther and  past  advances." 

"  Xay,  now  you  name  the  thing,  Gammon  ;  it  was  what 
I  was  thinking  of  only  the  other  day  : "  he  dropped  his 
voice  —  "Isn't    there    one   or  two  of  our   own    clients, 

hem  : " 

•Why.  certainly,  there's  old  Fang;  I  don't  think  it 
impossible  he  might  be  induced  to  do  a  little  usury  —  it 's 


156     •  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

all  he  lives  for,  Mr.  Quirk ;  and  the  security  is  good  in 
reality,  though  perhaps  not  exactly  marketable." 

"  Nay  ;  but,  on  second  thoughts,  why  not  do  it  myself, 
if  anything  can  be  made  of  it  1 " 

"  That,  however,  will  be  for  future  consideration.  In 
the  mean  time,  we'd  better  send  for  Titmouse,  and  man- 
age him  a  little  more  —  discreetly,  eh  1  We  did  not 
exactly  hit  it  off  last  time,  did  we,  Mr.  Quirk?"  said 
Gammon,  smiling  rather  sarcastically.  "  We  must  keep 
him  at  Tag-rag's,  if  the  thing  can  be  done  for  the  present, 
at  all  events." 

11  To  be  sure ;  he  could  n't  then  come  buzzing  about  us, 
like  a  gad-fly  ;  he'd  drive  us  mad  in  a  week,  I  'm  sure." 

"  Oh,  I  'd  rather  give  up  everything  than  submit  to  it. 
It  can't  be  difficult  for  us,  I  should  think,  to  bind  him  to 
our  own  terms  —  to  put  a  bridle  in  the  ass's  mouth  1  Let 
us  say  that  we  insist  on  his  signing  an  undertaking  to  act 
implicitly  according  to  our  directions  in  everything." 

"  Ay,  to  be  sure  ;  on  pain  of  our  instantly  turning  him 
to  the  right  about.  I  fancy  it  will  do  now  !  It  was  just 
what  I  was  thinking  of !  " 

"And,  now,  Mr.  Quirk,"  said  Gammon,  with  as  much 
of  peremptoriness  in  his  tone  as  he  could  venture  upon  to 
Mr.  Quirk,  "  you  really  must  do  me  the  favor  to  leave  the 
management  of  this  little  wretch  to  me.  You  see,  he 
seems  to  have  taken  —  Heaven  save  the  mark  !  —  a  fancy 
to  me,  poor  fool !  —  and  —  and  —  it  must  be  owned  we 
miscarried  sadly,  the  other  night,  on  a  certain  grand 
occasion  —  eh  1 " 

Quirk  shook  his  head  dissentingly. 

"  Well,  then,"  continued  Gammon,  "  upon  one  thing  I 
am  fixedly  determined  ;  one  or  the  other  of  us  shall  under- 
take Titmouse,  solely  and  singly.  Pray,  for  Heaven's  sake, 
tackle  him  yourself — a  disagreeable  duty!  You  know, 
my  dear  sir,  how  invariably  I  leave  everything  of  real  im- 


TEX  THOUSAND  A-YEAR.  157 

portance  and  difficulty  to  your  very  superior  tact  and 
experience;  but  this  little  matter  —  pshaw!" 

"  Come,  come,  Gammon,  that 's  a  drop  of  sweet  oil "  — 

Quirk  might  well  say  so,  for  he  felt  its  softening, 
smoothing  effects  already. 

••  Upon  my  word  and  honor,  Mr.  Quirk,  I'm  in  earnest. 
Pshaw  !  —  and  you  must  know  it.  I  know  you  too  well, 
my  dear  sir,  to  attempt  to" 

"•Certainly,"  quoth  Quirk,  smiling  shrewdly,  "1  must 
say,  those  must  get  up  very  early  that  can  find  Caleb 
Quirk  napping."  —  Gammon  felt  at  that  moment  that 
for  several  years  he  must  have  been  a  very  early  riser  ! 
And  so  the  matter  was  arranged  in  the  manner  which 
Gammon  had  from  the  first  wished  and  determined  upon, 
i.  e.  that  Mr.  Titmouse  should  be  left  entirely  to  his  man- 
rot  ;  and,  after  some  little  discussion  as  to  the  time 
and  manner  of  the  meditated  advances,  the  partners 
parted.  On  entering  his  own  room,  Quirk,  closing  his 
door,  stood  for  some  time  leaning  against  the  side  of  the 
window,  with  his  hands  in  his  pockets,  and  his  eyes  in- 
stinctively resting  on  his  banker's  book,  which  lay  on  the 
table.  He  was  in  a  very  brown  study,  the  subject  on 
which  his  thoughts  were  busied,  being  the  prudence  or 
imprudence  of  leaving  Titmouse  thus  in  the  hands  of 
Gammon.  It  might  be  all  very  well  for  Quirk  to  assert 
his  self-confidence  when  in  Gammon's  presence  ;  but  he 
did  not  really  feel  it.  He  never  left  Gammon  after  any 
little  difference  of  opinion,  however  friendly,  without  a 
secret  suspicion  that  somehow  or  another  Gammon  had 
been  too  much  for  him,  and  always  gained  his  purposes 
without  giving  Quirk  any  handle  of  dissatisfaction.  In 
fact,  Quirk  was  thoroughly  afraid  of  Gammon,  and  Gam- 
mon knew  it.  In  the  present  instance,  an  undefinable 
but  increasing  suspicion  and  discomfort  forced  him  pre- 
sently back  again  into  Gammon's  room. 


158  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

"  I  say,  Gammon,  you  understand,  eh  1  —  Fair  play, 
you  know,"  he  commenced,  with  a  shy  embarrassed  air, 
ill  concealed  under  a  forced  smile. 

"  Pray,  Mr.  Quirk,  what  may  be  your  meaning  % "  in- 
quired Gammon,  with  unusual  tartness,  with  an  astonished 
air,  and  blushing  violently,  which  was  not  surprising ;  for 
ever  since  Quirk  had  quitted  him,  Gammon's  thoughts 
had  been  occupied  with  only  one  question,  viz.  how  he 
should  go  to  work  with  Titmouse  to  satisfy  him  that  he 
(Gammon)  was  the  only  member  of  the  firm  that  had  a 
real  disinterested  regard  for  him,  and  so  acquire  a  valua- 
ble control  over  him  !  Thus  occupied,  the  observation  of 
Quirk  had  completely  taken  Gammon  aback  ;  and  he  lost 
his  presence  of  mind,  of  course  in  such  case  his  temper 
quickly  following.  "  Will  you  favor  me,  Mr.  Quirk,  with 
an  explanation  of  your  extraordinarily  absurd  and  offen- 
sive observation  1 "  said  he,  reddening  more  and  more  as 
he  looked  at  Mr.  Quirk. 

"  You  're  a  queer  hand,  Gammon,"  replied  Quirk,  with 
almost  an  equally  surprised  and  embarrassed  air,  for  he 
could  not  resist  a  sort  of  conviction  that  Gammon  had 
fathomed  what  had  been  passing  in  his  mind. 

"  What  did  you  mean,  Mr.  Quirk,  by  your  singular 
observation  just  now1?"  said  Gammon,  calmly,  having 
recovered  his  presence  of  mind. 

"  Mean  I  Why,  that  —  we  're  both  queer  hands,  Gam- 
mon, ha,  ha,  ha ! "  answered  Quirk,  with  an  anxious 
laugh. 

"  I  shall  leave  Titmouse  entirely  —  entirely,  Mr.  Quirk, 
in  your  hands ;  I  will  have  nothing  henceforth  whatever 
to  do  with  him.  I  am  quite  sick  of  him  and  his  concerns 
already  ;  I  cannot  bring  myself  to  undertake  such  an  af- 
fair, and  that  was  what  I  was  thinking  of,  —  when  " 

"  Eh  %  indeed  !  Well,  to  be  sure  !  Only  think  ! "  said 
Quirk,  dropping  his  voice,  looking  to  see  that  the  two 


TEN    THOUSAND    A-YEAK.  159 

doors  were  shut,  and  resuming  the  chair  which  he  had 
lately  quitted,  "What  do  you  think  has  been  occurring 
to  me  in  my  own  room,  just  now  I  Whether  it  would  suit 
us  better  to  throw  this  monkey  overboard,  put  ourselves 
confidentially  in  communication  with  the  party  in  posses- 
and  tell  him  that  —  hem  !  — for  a —  eh  ?  You  un- 
derstand —  eh  ?  a  eon-si-de-ra-tion  —  a  suitable  con-si-de- 
ra-tion  '.  " 

"  Mr.  Quirk  !  Heavens  !  "   Gammon  was  really  amazed. 

"Weill  You  needn't  open  your  eyes  so  very  wide, 
Mr.  Gammon  —  why  shouldn't  it  be  done'?  You  know 
we  would  n't  be  satisfied  with  a  trifle,  of  course.  But 
suppose  he  'd  agreed  to  buy  our  silence  with  four  or 
five  thousand  pounds,  really,  it's  well  worth  consider- 
Upon  my  soul,  Gammon,  it  is  a  hard  thing  on 
him  when  one  makes  the  case  one's  own!  —  no  fault  of 
his,  and  it  is  very  hard  for  him  to  turn  out,  and  for  such 
a  —  eugh! — such  a  wretch  as  Titmouse;  you'd  feel  it 
yourself,  Gammon,  if  you  were  in  his  place,  and  I'm 
sure  you  'd  think  that  four  or  five  thous  " 

"But  is  not  Titmouse  our  Poor  Xeighbor?"  said 
Gammon,  with  a  sly  smile. 

"  Why,  that  '*  only  one  way  of  looking  at  it,  Gammon ! 
Perhaps  the  man  we  are  going  to  eject  does  a  vast  deal  of 
good  with  the  property  ;  certainly  he  bears  a  very  high 
name  in  the  county  —  and  fancy  Titmouse  with  ten  thou- 
sand a-year  !  " 

"  Mr.  Quirk,  Mr.  Quirk,  it's  not  to  be  thought  of  for 
a  moment  —  not  for  a  moment,"  interrupted  Gammon, 
seriously,  and  even  somewhat  peremptorily — "nothing 
should  persuade  me  to  be  any  party  to  such  " 

At  this  moment  Snap  burst  into  the  room  with  a  heated 
appearance,  and  a  chagrined  air 

"  Pitch  v.  Grub "  he  commenced  breathlessly  — 

[This  was  a  little  pet  action  of  poor  Snap's  :  it  was  for 


160  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

slander  uttered  by  the  defendant  (an  hostler)  against  the 
plaintiff,  (a  waterman  on  a  coach  stand,)  charging  the 
plaintiff  with  having  the  mange,  on  account  of  which  a 
woman  refused  to  marry  him.] 

"Pitch  v.  Grub  —  just  been  tried  at  Guildhall.  Wit- 
ness bang  up  to  the  mark  —  words  and  special  damage 
proved;  slapping  speech  from  Sergeant  Shout.  Verdict 
for  plaintiff — but  only  one  farthing  damages;  and  Lord 
Widdrington  said,  as  the  jury  had  given  one  farthing  for 
damages,  he  would  give  him  another  for  costs,10  and  that 
would  make  a  halfpenny ;  on  which  the  defendant's  attor- 
ney tendered  me  —  a  halfpenny  on  the  spot.  Laughter 
in  court  —  move  for  new  trial  first  day  of  next  term,  and 
tip  his  lordship  a  rattler  in  the  next  Sunday's  Flash  !  " 

"  Mr.  Quirk,"  said  Gammon,  sternly,  "  once  for  all,  if 
this  sort  of  low  business  is  to  go  on,  I  '11  leave  the  firm, 
come  what  will  ! "  [It  flickered  across  his  mind  that  Tit- 
mouse would  be  a  capital  client  to  start  with  on  his  own 
account.]  "I  protest  our  names  will  quite  stink  in  the 
profession." 

"  Good,  Mr.  Gammon,  good  !  "  interposed  Snap,  warmly  ; 
"  your  little  action  for  the  usury  penalties  the  other  day 
came  off  so  uncommon  well !  the  judge's  compliment  to 
you  was  so  nice  " 

"Let  me  tell  you,  Mr.  Snap,"  interrupted  Gammon, 
reddening 

"  Pho !  Come  !  Can't  be  helped  —  fortune  of  the  war," 
—  interrupted  the  head  of  the  firm,  —  "  there  's  only  one 
thing  to  be  looked  to,  —  Is  Pitch  solvent  ?  —  of  course 
we  've  security  for  costs  out  of  pocket  —  eh,  Snap  I " 

Now  the  fact  was,  that  poor  Snap  had  picked  up  Pitch  at 
one  of  the  police  offices,  and,  in  his  zeal  for  business,  had 
undertaken  his  case  on  pure  speculation,  relying  on  the  ap- 
parent strength  of  the  plaintiff's  case  —  Pitch  being  only  a 
waterman  attached  to  a  coach  stand.    When,  therefore,  the 


TEN    THOUSAND    A-YEAR.  161 

very  ominous  question  of  Mr.  Quirk  met  Snap's  ear,  he  sud- 
denly happened  (at  least,  lie  ehose  to  appear  to  think  so) 
to  hear  himself  called  for  from  the  clerk's  room,  and  bolted 
out  o(  Mr.  Gammon's  room  rather  unceremoniously. 

"Snap  will  be  the  ruin  of  the  firm,  Mr.  Quirk,"  said 
Gammon,  with  an  air  vl'  disgust.  M  But  I  really  must  get 
on  with  the  brief  1  'm  drawing  ;  so,  Mr.  Quirk,  we  can  talk 
about  Titmouse  to-morrow  !  " 

The  brief  he  was  drawing  up  was  for  a  defendant 
who  was  going  to  nonsuit  the  plaintiff,  (a  man  with  a 
large  family,  who  had  kindly  lent  the  defendant  a  con- 
siderable sum  of  money,)  solely  because  of  the  want  of 
a  ttamp. 

Quirk  differed  in  opinion  with  Gammon,  and,  as  he  re- 
sumed his  seat  at  his  desk,  lie  could  not  help  writing  the 
>.  "Quirk  and  Snap,"  and  thinking  how  well  such  a 
firm  would  sound  and  work — for  Snap  was  verily  a  chip 
of  the  old  block! 

There  will  probably  never  be  wanting  those  who  will 
join  in  abusing  and  ridiculing  attorneys  and  solicitors. 
Why  ?  In  almost  every  action  at  law,  or  suit  in  equity, 
or  proceeding  which  may,  or  may  not,  lead  to  one,  each 
client  conceives  a  natural  dislike  for  his  opponent's  attor- 
ney or  solicitor.  //"  the  plaintiff  succeeds,  he  hates  the  de- 
fendant's attorney  for  putting  him  (the  said  plaintiff)  to 
so  much  expense,  and  causing  him  so  much  vexation  and 
danger;  and,  when  he  comes  to  settle  with  his  own  attor- 
ney, there  is  not  a  little  heart-burning  in  looking  at  his 
bill  of  costs,  however  reasonable.  If  the  plaintiff  fails,  of 
course  it  is  through  the  ignorance  and  unskilfulness  of  his 
attorney  or  solicitor  !  and  he  hates  almost  equally  his  own, 
and  his  opponent's  attorney  ! — Precisely  so  is  it  with  a 
successful  or  unsuccessful  defendant.  In  fact,  an  attorney 
or  solicitor  is  almost  always  obliged  to  be  acting  adversely 
to  some  one  of  whom  he  at  once  makes  an  enemy;  for  an 

VOL.  I.  —  1 1 


162  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR 

attorney's  weapons  must  necessarily  be  pointed  almost 
invariably  at  our  pockets !  He  is  necessarily,  also,  called 
into  action  in  cases  when  all  the  worst  passions  of  our 
nature  —  our  hatred  and  revenge,  and  our  self-interest  — 
are  set  in  motion.  Consider  the  mischief  which  might  be 
constantly  done  on  a  grand  scale  in  society,  if  the  vast 
majority  of  attorneys  and  solicitors  were  not  honorable 
and  able  men  !  Conceive  them,  for  a  moment,  disposed 
everywhere  to  stir  up  litigation,  by  availing  themselves  of 
their  perfect  acquaintance  with  almost  all  men's  circum- 
stances—  artfully  inflaming  irritable  and  vindictive  cli- 
ents, kindling,  instead  of  stifling,  family  dissensions,  and 
fomenting  public  strife  —  why,  were  they  to  do  only  a 
hundredth  part  of  what  it  is  thus  in  their  power  to  do, 
our  courts  of  justice  would  soon  be  doubled,  together  with 
the  number  of  our  judges,  counsel,  and  attorneys ;  new 
jails  must  be  built  to  hold  the  ruined  litigants  —  and  the 
insolvent  court  enlarged,  and  in  constant  session  through- 
out the  year. 

But  not  all  of  this  body  of  honorable  and  valuable  men 
are  entitled  to  this  tribute  of  praise.  There  are  a  few 
Quirks,  several  Gammons,  and  many  Snaps,  in  the  profes- 
sion of  the  law  —  men  whose  characters  and  doings  often 
make  fools  visit  the  sins  of  individuals  upon  the  whole 
species  \  nay,  there  are  far  worse,  as  I  have  heard  —  but 
I  must  return  to  my  narrative. 

On  Friday  night,  the  28th  July  18  — ,  the  state  of  Mr. 
Titmouse's  affairs  was  this ;  he  owed  his  landlady  £1,  9s. ; 
his  washerwoman,  6s.;  his  tailor,  £1,  8s.  —  in  all,  three 
guineas  ;  besides  10s.  to  Huckaback,  (for  Tittlebat's  notion 
was,  that  on  repayment  at  any  time  of  10s.,  Huckaback 
would  be  bound  to  deliver  up  to  him  the  document  or 
voucher  which  he  had  given  that  gentleman,)  and  a  weekly 
accruing  rent  of  7s.  to  his  landlady,  besides  some  very 
small  sums  for  coffee,  (alias  chiccory,)  tea,  bread,  and 


TEN    THOUSAND    A-YEAR.  163 

butter,  &C  To  meet  these  serious  liabilities,  he  had  lit- 
erally —  not  one  fartliing. 

On  returning  to  his  lodgings  that  night,  he  found  a  line 
from  Thumbscrew,  his  landlady's  broker,  informing  him 
that,  unless  by  ten  o'clock  on  the  next  morning  his  ar- 
of  rent  were  paid,  lie  should  distrain,  and  she  would 
also  give  him  notice  to  quit  at  the  end  of  the  week  ;  that, 
nothing  could  induce  her  to  give  him  further  time.  He 
sat  down  in  dismay  on  reading  this  threatening  docu- 
ment ;  and,  in  sitting  down,  his  eye  fell  on  a  bit  of  paper 
lying  vn  the  floor,  which  must  have  been  thrust  under  the 
door.  From  the  marks  on  it,  it  was  evident  that  he  must 
have  trod  upon  it  in  entering.  It  proved  to  be  a  sum- 
mons from  the  Court  of  Requests,  for  £1,  8s.  due  to  Job 
his  tailor.  He  deposited  it  mechanically  on  the 
table  ;  and  for  a  minute  he  dared  hardly  breathe. 

This  seemed  something  really  like  a  a°isis. 

After  a  silent  agony  of  half  an  hour's  duration,  he  rose 
trembling  from  his  chair,  blew  out  his  candle,  and,  in  a 
few  minutes'  time,  might  have  been  seen  standing  with  a 
pale  and  troubled  face  before  the  window  of  old  Balls,  the 
pawnbroker,  peering  through  the  suspended  articles  — 
watches,  sugar-tongs,  rings,  brooches,  spoons,  pins,  brace- 
lets, knives  and  forks,  seals,  chains,  &c.  —  to  see  whether 
any  one  else  than  old  Balls  were  within.  Having  at 
length  watched  out  a  very  pale  and  wretched-looking  wo- 
man, Titmouse  entered  to  take  her  place ;  and  after  inter- 
changing a  few  faltering  words  with  the  white-haired 
and  hard-hearted  old  pawnbroker,  produced  his  guard- 
chain,  his  breast-pin,  and  his  ring,  and  obtained  three 
pounds  two  shillings  and  sixpence  on  the  security  of 
them. 

With  this  sum  he  slunk  out  of  the  shop,  and  calling  on 
Cox,  his  tailor,  paid  his  trembling  old  creditor  the  full 
amount  of  his  claim  (£1,  8s.)  together  with  4s.,  the  ex- 


164  TEN   THOUSAND   A- YEAR.   ' 

pense  of  the  summons —  simply  asking  for  a  receipt,  with- 
out uttering  another  word,  for  he  felt  almost  choked.  In 
the  same  way  he  dealt  with  Mrs.  Squallop,  his  lancftady — 
not  uttering  one  word  in  reply  to  her  profuse  and  voluble 
apologies,  but  pressing  his  lips  between  his  teeth  till  the 
blood  came  from  them,  while  his  little  heart  seemed  split- 
ting within  him.  Then  he  walked  up-stairs,  with  a  des- 
perate air  —  having  just  eighteen  pence  in  his  pocket  — 
all  his  ornaments  gone  —  his  washerwoman  yet  unpaid  — 
his  rent  going  on  —  several  other  little  matters  unsettled ; 
and  the  10th  of  August  approaching,  when  he  expected 
to  be  dismissed  penniless  from  Mr.  Tag-rag's  and  thrown 
on  his  own  resources  for  subsistence.  When  he  had  re- 
gained his  room,  and  having  shut  the  door,  had  re-seated 
himself  at  his  table,  he  felt  for  a  moment  as  if  he  could 
have  yelled.  Starvation  and  Despair,  two  fiends,  seemed 
sitting  beside  him  in  shadowy  ghastliness,  chilling  and 
palsying  him  —  petrifying  his  heart  within  him.  What 
was  he  to  do  1  Why  had  he  been  born  ?  Why  was  he  so 
much  more  persecuted  and  miserable  than  any  one  else  ? 
Visions  of  his  ring,  his  breast-pin,  his  studs,  stuck  in  a 
bit  of  card,  with  their  price  written  above  them,  and 
hanging  exposed  to  his  view  in  old  Balls'  window,  almost 
frenzied  him.  Thoughts  such  as  these  at  length  began 
to  suggest  others  of  a  dreadful  nature.  .  .  .  The  means 
were  at  that  instant  within  his  reach.  ...  A  sharp 
knock  at  the  door  startled  him  out  of  the  stupor  in- 
to which  he  was  sinking.  He  listened  for  a  moment  as 
if  he  were  not  certain  that  the  sound  was  a  real  one. 
There  seemed  a  ton-weight  upon  his  heart,  which  a 
mighty  sigh  could  lift  for  an  instant,  but  not  remove; 
and  he  was  in  the  act  of  heaving  a  second  such  sigh,  as 
he  languidly  opened  the  door  —  expecting  to  encounter 
Mr.  Thumbscrew,  or  some  of  his  myrmidons,  who  might 
not  know  of  his  recent  settlement  with  his  landlady. 


TEX    THOUSAND    A-YEAR.  165 

11  Is  this  Mr.  —  Tit  —  Titmouse's  1 "  inquired  a  genteel- 
looking  young  man. 

••  Yes,"  replied  Titmouse,  sadly. 

"  Are  you  Mr.  Titmouse]" 

"  Yes,"  he  replied,  more  faintly  than  before. 

"  Oh  —  I  have  brought  you,  sir,  a  letter  from  Mr. 
Gammon,  of  the  firm  of  Quirk,  Gammon,  and  Snap,  solici- 
tors, Saffron  Hill,"  said  the  stranger,  unconscious  that  his 
words  shot  a  flash  of  light  into  a  little  abyss  of  grief  and 
despair  before  him.  "He  begged  me  to  give  this  letter 
into  your  own  hands,  and  said  he  hoped  you  'd  send  him 
an  answer  by  the  first  morning's  post." 

'•  Yes  —  oh  —  I  see  —  certainly  —  to  be  sure  —  with 
pleasure  —  how  is  Mr.  Gammon? — uncommon  kind  of 
him  —  very  humble  respects  to  him  —  take  care  to  an- 
swer it,"  stammered  Titmouse,  in  a  breath,  hardly  know- 
ing whether  he  were  standing  on  his  head  or  his  heels, 
and  not  quite  certain  where  he  was. 

"  Good-evening,  sir,"  replied  the  stranger,  evidently 
a  little  surprised  at  Titmouse's  manner,  and  withdrew. 
Titmouse  shut  his  door.  With  prodigious  trepidation  of 
hand  and  flutter  of  spirits,  he  opened  the  letter  —  an  en- 
closure meeting  his  eyes  in  the  shape  of  a  bank-note. 

"Oh  Lord  !  "  he  murmured,  turaing  white  as  the  sheet 
of  paper  he  held.  Then  the  letter  dropped  from  his  hand, 
and  he  stood  as  if  stupefied  for  some  moments ;  but  pres- 
ently rapture  darted  through  him;  a  five-pound  bank-note 
was  in  his  hand,  and  it  had  been  enclosed  in  the  follow- 
ing letter :  — 

"  35,  Thames'  Inn,  29th  July  18  — . 
•■My  dear  Mr.  Titmouse, 

"Your  last  note  addressed  to  our  firm,  has  given  me  the 

it  pain,  ami  I  hasten,  on  my  return  from  the  country,  to 

forward  you  the  enclosed   trifle,  out  of  my  own  personal  re- 

soun.es — and  I  sincerely  hope  it  will  be  of  temporary  service 


166  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

to  you.  May  I  beg  the  favor  of  your  company  on  Sunday 
evening  next,  at  seven  o'clock,  to  take  a  glass  of  wine  with  me  ? 
I  shall  be  quite  alone  and  disengaged,  and  may  have  it  in  my 
power  to  make  you  some  important  communications,  concern- 
ing matters  in  which,  I  assure  you,  I  feel  a  very  deep  interest 
on  your  account.  Begging  the  favor  of  an  early  answer  to- 
morrow morning,  I  trust  you  will  believe  me,  ever,  my  dear  sir, 
your  most  faithful  humble  servant, 

"Oily  Gammon. 

"Tittlebat  Titmouse,  Esq." 

The  first  balmy  drop  of  the  long-expected  golden  shower 
had  at  length  fallen  upon  the  panting  Titmouse.  How 
polite  —  nay,  how  affectionate  and  respectful  —  was  the 
note  of  Mr.  Gammon !  and,  for  the  first  time  in  his  life, 
he  saw  himself  addressed 

"Tittlebat  Titmouse,  Esquire." 

If  his  room  had  been  large  enough  to  admit  of  it,  he 
would  have  skipped  round  it  again  and  again  in  his  fran- 
tic ecstasy.  Having  read  over  several  times  the  blessed 
letter  of  Mr.  Gammon,  he  hastily  folded  it  up,  crumpled 
up  the  bank-note  in  his  hand,  clapped  his  hat  on  his  head, 
blew  out  his  candle,  rushed  down-stairs  as  if  a  mad  dog 
were  at  his  heels,  and  in  three  or  four  minutes'  time 
might  have  been  seen  standing  breathless  before  old 
Balls,  whom  he  had  almost  electrified  by  asking,  with 
an  eager  and  joyous  air,  for  a  return  of  the  articles  which 
he  had  only  an  hour  before  pawned  with  him;  at  the 
same  time  laying  down  the  duplicates  and  the  bank-note. 
The  latter,  old  Balls  scrutinized  with  most  anxious  exact- 
ness, and  even  suspicion  —  but  it  seemed  perfectly  unex- 
ceptionable ;  so  he  re-delivered  to  Titmouse  his  precious 
ornaments,  and  the  change  out  of  his  note,  minus  a  tri- 
fling sum  for  interest.  Titmouse  then  started  off  at  top 
speed  to  Huckaback  \  but  it  suddenly  occurring  to  him 
as  possible  that  that  gentleman,  on  hearing  of  his  good 


TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAK.  167 

fortune,  might  look  for  an  immediate  repayment  of  the 
ten  shillings  he  had  recently  lent  to  Titmouse,  he  stopped 
Bhort  —  paused  —  and  returned  home.  There  he  had 
hardly  been  seated  a  moment,  when  down  he  pelted 
again,  to  buy  a  sheet  of  paper  and  a  wafer  or  two,  to 
write  his  ktter  to  Mr.  Gammon  j  which  having  obtained, 
he  returned  at  the  same  speed,  almost  overturning  his  fat 
landlady,  who  looked  after  him  as  though  he  were  a  mad 
cat  scampering  up  and  down-stairs,  and  fearing  that  he 
had  gone  suddenly  crazy.  The  note  he  wrote  to  Mr. 
Gammon  was  so  exceedingly  extravagant,  that,  candid 
as  I  have  (I  trust)  hitherto  shown  myself  in  the  delin- 
eation of  Mr.  Titmouse's  character,  I  cannot  bring  my- 
self to  give  the  aforesaid  letter  to  the  reader  —  making 
all  allowances  for  the  extraordinary  excitement  of  its 
writer. 

Sleep,  that  night  and  morning,  found  and  left  Mr.  Tit- 
mouse the  assured  exulting  master  of  Ten  Thousand  a- 
Year.  Of  this  fact,  the  oftener  he  read  Mr.  Gammon's 
letter,  the  stronger  became  his  convictions.  'T  was  un- 
doubtedly rather  a  large  inference  from  small  premises  ; 
but  it  secured  him  unspeakable  happiness,  for  a  time,  at 
a  possible  cost  of  future  disappointment  and  misery,  which 
he  did  not  pause  to  consider.  The  fact  is  that  logic  (ac- 
cording to  Dr.  Watts,  but  not  according  to  Dr.  Whateley, 
tkt  right  use  of  reason)  is  not  a  practical  art.  No  one  re- 
gards it  in  actual  life ;  observe,  therefore,  folks  on  all 
hands  constantly  acting  like  Tittlebat  Titmouse  in  the 
case  before  us.  His  conclusion  was  —  that  he  had  become 
the  certain  master  of  ten  thousand  a-year;  his  premises 
were  —  what  the  reader  has  seen.  I  do  not,  however, 
mean  to  say,  that  if  the  reader  be  a  youth  hot  from  Ox- 
ford, he  may  not  be  able  to  prove,  by  a  very  refined  and 
ingenious  argument,  that  Titmouse  was,  in  what  he  did 
above,  a  fine  natural  logician  ;  for  I  recollect  that  some 


168  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

great  philosopher  hath  demonstrated,  by  a  famous  argu- 
ment, that  there  is  nothing  anywhere  :  and  no  one  that  I 
have  heard  of,  hath  ever  been  able  to  prove  the  contrary. 
By  six  o'clock  the  next  morning,  Titmouse  had,  with 
his  own  hand,  dropped  his  answer  into  the  letter-box  upon 
the  door  of  Mr.  Gammon's  chambers  in  Thavies'  Inn ;  in 
which  answer  he  had,  with  numerous  expressions  of  pro- 
found respect  and  gratitude,  accepted  Mr.  Gammon's  po- 
lite invitation.  A  very  happy  man  felt  Titmouse  as  he 
returned  to  Oxford  Street ;  entering  Messrs.  Tag-rag's 
premises  with  alacrity,  just  as  they  were  being  opened, 
and  volunteering  his  assistance  in  numerous  things  be- 
yond his  usual  province,  with  singular  briskness  and 
energy ;  as  if  conscious  that  by  doing  so  he  was  greatly 
gratifying  Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon,  and  Snap,  whose 
wishes  upon  the  subject  he  knew.  He  displayed  such 
unwonted  cheerfulness  and  patient  good-nature  through- 
out the  day,  that  one  of  his  companions,  a  serious  youth, 
in  a  white  neckerchief,  black  clothes,  and  with  a  blessed 
countenance  —  the  only  professing  pious  person  in  the 
establishment  —  took  an  occasion  to  ask  him,  in  a  myste- 
rious whisper,  "whether  he  had  not  got  converted:"  and 
whether  he  would,  at  six  o'clock  in  the  morning,  accom- 
pany the  speaker  to  a  room  in  the  neighborhood,  where 
he  (the  youth  aforesaid)  was  going  to  conduct  an  exhor- 
tation and  prayer  meeting !  Titmouse  refused  —  but  not 
without  a  few  qualms ;  for  luck  certainly  seemed  to  be 
smiling  on  him,  and  he  felt  that  he  ought  to  be  grateful 
for  it ;  but  then,  he  at  length  reflected,  the  proper  place 
for  that  sort  of  thing  would  be  a  regular  church  —  to 
which  he  accordingly  resolved  to  go.  This  change  of 
manners  Tag-rag,  however,  looked  upon  as  assumed  only 
to  affront  him;  seeing  nothing  but  impertinence  and 
defiance  in  all  that  Titmouse  did  —  as  if  the  nearer 
Titmouse  got  to  the  end  of  his  bondage  — i.  e.  the  10th 


TEN    THOUSAND    A-YEAK.  169 

of  August  —  the  lighter-hearted  he  grew!  Titmouse 
resolved  religiously  to  keep  his  own  counsel;  to  avoid 
even  —  at  all  events  for  the  present  —  communicating 
with  Huckaback. 

On  the  ensuing  Sunday  lie  rose  very  early,  and  took 
nearly  twice  as  long  a  time  as  usual  to  dress  —  by  reason 
of  his  often  falling  into  many  delicious  and  momentarily 
intoxicating  reveries.  By  eleven  o'clock  lie  might  have 
been  seen  entering  the  gallery  of  St.  Andrew's  Church, 
Holbom  ;  where  he  considered  that  doubtless  Mr.  Gam- 
man,  who  lived  in  the  neighborhood,  might  have  a  seat. 
He  asked  three  or  four  pew-openers,  both  below  and  above 
stairs,  if  they  knew  which  was  Mr.  Gammon's  pew  —  Mr. 
Gammon  of  Thavies'  Inn  ;  not  dreaming  of  presumptu- 
ously going  to  the  pew,  but  of  sitting  in  some  place  which 
commanded  a  view  of  it.  Mr.  Gammon,  I  need  hardly 
say,  was  quite  unknown  there  —  no  one  had  ever  heard 
of  such  a  person  ;  nevertheless  Titmouse,  (albeit  a  little 
galled  at  being,  in  spite  of  his  elegant  appearance,  slipped 
into  a  back  seat  in  the  gallery,)  remained  to  the  close  of 
the  service  —  but  his  thoughts  wandered  grievously  the 
whole  time.  Having  quitted  the  church  in  a  buoyant 
humor,  he  sauntered  in  the  direction  of  Hyde  Park.  How 
soon  might  he  become,  instead  of  a  mere  spectator  as 
heretofore,  a  partaker  in  its  glories  !  The  dawn  of  the 
day  of  fortune  was  on  his  long-benighted  soul ;  and  he 
could  hardly  subdue  his  excited  feelings.  Having  eaten 
nothing  but  a  couple  of  biscuits  during  the  day,  as  the 
clock  struck  seven  he  made  his  punctual  appearance  at 
Mr.  Gammon's,  with  a  pair  of  span-new  white  kid  gloves 
on  ;  and  somewhat  flurried,  was  speedily  ushered,  by  a 
comfortable-looking  elderly  female  servant,  into  Mr.  Gam- 
mon's room.  Mr.  Titmouse  was  dressed  just  as  he  had 
been  when  first  presented  to  the  reader,  sallying  forth  into 
Oxford  Street.     Mr.  Gammon,   who  was  sitting  reading 


170  TEN   THOUSAND    A-YEAK. 

the  Sunday  Flash  at  a  table  on  which  stood  a  couple  of 
decanters,  several  wine-glasses,  and  one  or  two  dishes  of 
fruit,  rose  and  received  his  distinguished  visitor  with  the 
most  delightful  affability. 

"  I  am  most  happy,  Mr.  Titmouse,  to  see  you  in  this 
friendly  way,"  said  he,  shaking  him  cordially  by  the 
hand. 

"  Oh,  don't  name  it,  sir  !  "  quoth  Titmouse,  rather  in- 
distinctly, and  hastily  running  his  hand  through  his  hair. 

"  I  've  nothing,  you  see,  to  offer  you  but  a  little  fruit 
and  a  glass  of  fair  port  or  sherry.  You  see  I  am  a  very 
quiet  man  on  Sundays ! " 

"  Particular  fond  of  them,  sir,"  replied  Titmouse,  en- 
deavoring to  clear  his  throat ;  for  in  spite  of  a  strong 
effort  to  appear  at  his  ease,  he  was  unsuccessful ;  so  that, 
when  Gammon's  keen  eye  glanced  at  the  bedizened  figure 
of  his  guest,  a  bitter  smile  passed  over  his  face,  without 
having  been  observed  by  Titmouse.  "  This,"  thought  he, 
as  his  eye  passed  from  the  ring  glittering  on  the  little 
finger  of  the  right  hand,  to  the  studs  and  breast-pin  in 
the  shirt-front,  and  thence  to  the  guard-chain  glaring  en- 
tirely outside  a  damson-colored  satin  waistcoat,  and  the 
spotless  white  glove  which  yet  glistened  on  the  left  hand 
—  "  This  is  the  writer  of  the  dismal  epistle  of  the  other 
day,  announcing  his  desperation  and  destitution  !  " 

"Your  health,  Mr.  Titmouse!  —  help  yourself!"  said 
Mr.  Gammon,  in  a  cheerful  and  cordial  tone ;  Titmouse 
pouring  out  a  glass  only  three-quarters  full,  raised  it  to 
his  lips  with  a  slightly  tremulous  hand,  and  returned  Mr. 
Gammon's  salutation.  When  had  Titmouse  tasted  a  glass 
of  wine  before  1  a  reflection  occurring  not  only  to  himself, 
but  also  to  Gammon,  to  whom  it  was  a  circumstance  that 
might  be  serviceable. 

"You  see,  Mr.  Titmouse,  mine's  only  a  small  bachelor's 
establishment,  and  I  cannot  put  my  old  servant  out  of  the 


TEN   THOUSAND   A- YEAR.  171 

way  by  having  my  friends  to  dinner" — [quite  forget- 
ting that  the  day  before  he  had  entertained  at  least  six 
friends,  including  Mr.  Frankpledge  —  but,  the  idea  of  go- 
ing through  a  dinner  ivitJi   Mr.    Titmouse  /] 

And  now,  0  inexperienced  Titmouse  !  unacquainted  with 
the  potent  qualities  of  wine,  I  warn  you  to  be  cautious 
how  you  drink  many  glasses,  for  you  cannot  calculate  the 
effect  which  they  will  have  upon  you ;  and,  indeed,  me- 
thinks  that  with  this  man  you  have  a  game  to  play  which 
will  not  admit  of  much  wine  being  drunk.  Be  you,  there- 
fore, on  your  guard  ;  for  wine  is  like  a  strong  serpent,  who 
will  creep  unperceivedly  into  your  empty  head,  and  coil 
himself  up  therein,  until  at  length  he  begins  to  move 
about  —  and  all  things  are  as  nought  to  you  ! 

"  Oh,  sir,  'pon  my  honor,  beg  you  won't  name  it  —  all 
one  to  me,  sir!  —  Beautiful  wine  this,  sir." 

"Pretty  fair,  I  think  —  certainly  rather  old  ; — but  what 
fruit  will  you  take  —  raspberries  or  cherries'?  " 

"  Why  —  a —  I  've  so  lately  dined,"  replied  Titmouse, 
alluding  to  the  brace  of  biscuits  on  which  he  had  luxuri- 
ated several  hours  before.  He  wTould  have  preferred  the 
cherries,  but  did  not  feel  quite  at  his  ease  how  to  dispose 
of  the  stones  nicely  —  gracefully  —  so  he  took  a  very  few 
raspberries  upon  his  plate,  and  ate  them  slowly,  and  with 
a  modest  and  timid  air. 

"  Well,  Mr.  Titmouse,"  commenced  Gammon,  with  an 
air  of  concern,  "I  was  really  much  distressed  by  your  last 
letter  ! " 

"  Uncommon  glad  to  hear  it,  sir  —  knew  you  would,  sir 
—  you  're  so  kind-hearted  ;  —  all  quite  true,  sir  !  " 

"  I  had  no  idea  that  you  were  reduced  to  such  straits," 
said  Gammon,  in  a  sympathizing  tone,  but  settling  his  eye 
involuntarily  on  the  ring  of  Titmouse. 

"  Quite  dreadful,  sir  —  'pon  my  soul,  dreadful ;  and 
such  usage  at  Mr.  Tag-rag's  ! " 


172  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

"  But  you  must  n't  think  of  going  abroad  —  away  from 
all  your  friends,  Mr.  Titmouse." 

"Abroad,  sir !  "  interrupted  Titmouse,  with  anxious  but 
subdued  eagerness ;  "  never  thought  of  such  a  thing  ! " 

"Oh!  I  — I  thought"  

"There  isn't  a  word  of  truth  in  it,  sir;  and  if  you've 
heard  so,  it  must  have  been  from  that  oudacious  fellow 
that  called  on  you  —  he  's  such  a  liar  —  if  you  knew  him 
as  well  as  I  do,  sir ! "  said  Titmouse,  with  a  confident  air, 
quite  losing  sight  of  his  piteous  letter  to  Messrs.  Quirk, 
Gammon,  and  Snap  —  "  No,  sir  —  shall  stay,  and  stick  to 
friends  that  stick  to  me." 

"  Take  another  glass  of  wine,  Mr.  Titmouse,"  interrupted 
Gammon,  cordially,  and  Titmouse  obeyed  him ;  but  while 
he  was  pouring  it  out,  a  sudden  recollection  of  his  letter 
flashing  across  his  mind,  satisfied  him  that  he  stood  de- 
tected in  a  flat  lie  before  Mr.  Gammon,  and  he  blushed 
scarlet. 

"  Do  you  like  the  sherry  1 "  inquired  Gammon,  perfect- 
ly aware  of  what  was  passing  through  the  little  mind  of 
his  guest,  and  wishing  to  divert  his  thoughts.  Titmouse 
answered  in  the  affirmative  :  and  proceeded  to  pour  forth 
such  a  number  of  apologies  for  his  own  behavior  at  Saf- 
fron Hill,  and  that  of  Huckaback  on  the  subsequent  oc- 
casion, as  Gammon  found  it  difficult  to  stop,  over  and 
over  again  assuring  him  that  all  had  been  entirely  for- 
given and  even  forgotten.  When  Titmouse  came  to  the 
remittance  of  the  five  pounds 

"  Don't  mention  it,  my  dear  sir,"  interrupted  Gammon, 
very  blandly  ;  "  it  gave  me,  I  assure  you,  far  greater  sat- 
isfaction to  send  it,  than  you  to  receive  it.  I  hope  it  has 
a  little  relieved  you  1 " 

"  I  think  so,  sir !     I  was,  'pon  my  life,  on  my  very  last 

*s." 

"When  things  come  to  the  worst,  they  often   mend, 


TEN    THOUSAND    A.-YEAR.  173 

Mr.  Titmouse  !  I  told  Mr.  Quirk  (who,  to  do  him  jus- 
tice, came  at  last  into  my  views)  that,  however  prema- 
ture, and  perhaps  imprudent  it  might  be  in  us  to  go  so 
far,  I  could  not  help  relieving  your  present  necessities, 
even  out  of  my  own  resources." 

[Oh,  Gammon,  Gammon  !] 

"How  very  uncommon  kind  of  you,  sir  ! "  exclaimed 
Titmouse. 

"Not  in  the  least,  my  dear  sir — (pray  fill  another 
glass,  Mr.  Titmouse  !  )  You  see  Mr.  Quirk  is  quite  a 
man  of  business  —  and  our  profession  too  often  affords 
instances  of  persons  whose  hearts  contract  as  their  purses 
expand,  Mr.  Titmouse  —  ha  !  ha  !  Indeed,  those  who 
make  their  money  as  hard  as  Mr.  Quirk,  are  apt  to  be 
Blow  at  parting  with  it,  and  very  suspicious !  " 

"Well,  I  hope  no  offence,  sir;  but  really  I  thought 
as  much,  directly   I  saw  that  old  gent." 

"  Ah  —  but  now  he  is  embarked,  heart  and  soul,  in 
the  affair." 

"  No  !  Is  he  really,  sir?"  inquired  Titmouse,  eagerly. 

"That  is,"  replied  Gammon,  quickly,  " so  long  as  I  am 
at  his  elbow,  urging  him  on  —  for  he  wants  some  one 
who  —  hem  !  In  fact,  my  dear  sir,  ever  since  I  had  the 
good  fortune  to  make  the  discovery,  which  happily  brought 
us  acquainted  with  each  other,  Mr.  Titmouse,"  [it  was 
old  Quirk,  as  the  reader  will  by  and  by  find,  who  had 
made  the  discovery,  and  Gammon  had  for  a  long  time 
thrown  cold  water  on  it,]  "  I  have  been  doing  all  I  could 
with  him,  and  I  trust  I  may  say,  have  at  last  got  the 
thing  into  shape." 

"  I  '11  take  my  oath,  sir,"  said  Titmouse,  excitedly,  "  I 
never  was  so  much  struck  with  any  one  in  all  my  born 
days  as  I  was  with  you,  sir,  when  you  first  came  to  my 
emp  —  to  Mr.  Tag-rag's,  sir  —  Lord,  sir,  how  uncommon 
sharp  you  seemed  !  "    Gammon  smiled  with  a  deprecating 


174  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

air,  and  sipped  his  wine  in  silence ;  but  there  was  great 
sweetness  in  the  expression  of  his  countenance.  Poor 
Titmouse's  doubts,  hopes,  and  fears,  were  rapidly  being 
sublimed  into  a  reverence  for  Gammon.  .   .  . 

"  I  certainly  quite  agree  with  Mr.  Quirk,"  said  Gam- 
mon, presently,  "  that  the  difficulties  in  our  way  are  of 
the  most  serious  description.  To  speak,  for  an  instant 
only,  of  the  risks  we  ourselves  incur  personally  —  would 
you  believe  it,  my  dear  Mr.  Titmouse  %  —  in  such  a  dis- 
graceful state  are  our  laws,  that  we  can't  gratify  our  feel- 
ings by  taking  up  your  cause,  without  rendering  ourselves 
liable  to  imprisonment  for  Heaven  knows  how  long,  and 
a  fine  that  would  be  ruin  itself,  if  we  should  be  found 
out  ! " 

Titmouse  continued  silent,  his  wine-glass  in  his  hand 
arrested  in  its  way  to  his  mouth  ;  which,  together  with 
his  eyes,  was  opened  to  its  widest  extent,  as  he  stared 
with  a  kind  of  terror  upon  Mr.  Gammon.  — "  Are  we, 
then,  unreasonable;  my  dear  sir,  in  entreating  you  to  be 
cautious  —  nay,  in  insisting  on  your  compliance  with  our 
wishes,  in  all  that  we  shall  deem  prudent  and  necessary, 
when  not  only  your  own  best  interests,  but  our  charac- 
ters, liberties,  and  fortunes  are  staked  on  the  issue  of 
this  great  enterprise?  I  am  sure,"  continued  Gammon, 
with  great  emotion,  "you  will  feel  for  us,  Mr.  Titmouse. 
I  see  you  do  !  "  Gammon  put  his  hand  over  his  eyes,  in 
order,  apparently,  to  conceal  his  emotion,  but  really  to 
observe  what  effect  he  had  produced  upon  Titmouse. 
The  conjoint  influence  of  Gammon's  wine  and  eloquence 
not  a  little  agitated  Titmouse,  in  whose  eyes  stood 
tears. 

"  I  '11  do  anything  —  anything,  sir,"  Titmouse  almost 
sobbed. 

"  Oh  !  all  we  wish  is  to  be  allowed  to  serve  you  effect- 
ually ;  and  to  enable  us  to  do  that " 


TEN    THOUSAND    A-YEAR.  175 

"  Tell  me  to  get  into  a  soot-bag,  and  lie  hid  in  a  coal- 
hole, and  Bee  if  I  won't  do  it !  " 

11  What  !  a  coal-hole  ?  Would  you,  then,  even  stop  at 
Tag-rag  and  Co/si" 

11  V  .  sir  —  hem!   hem!     That  is,  till  the  tenth 

of  next  month,  when  my  time's    up." 

••  Ah  !  —  ay  ! — oh,  I  understand  !  Another  glass,  Mr. 
Titmouse,"  said  Gammon,  pouring  himself  out  some  more 
win,'  :  and  observing,  while  Titmouse  followed  his  exam- 
ple, that  there  was  an  unsteadiness  in  his  motions  of  a 
very  different  description  from  that  which  he  had  exhib- 
ited at  the  commencement  of  the  evening  —  at  the  same 
time  wondering  what  the  deuce  they  should  do  with  him 
after  the  tenth  of  August. 

"  You  Bee,  I  have  the  utmost  confidence  in  you,  and 
had  so  from  the  first  happy  moment  when  we  met ;  but 
Mr.  Quirk  is  rather  sus  —  In  short  to  prevent  misun- 
s  he  says,)  Mr.  Quirk  is  anxious  that  you 
should  give  a  written  promise."  (Titmouse  looked  eagerly 
about  for  writing  materials.)  "Xo,  not  now,  but  in  a  day 
or  two's  time.  I  confess,  my  dear  Mr.  Titmouse,  if  / 
might  have  decided  on  the  matter,  I  should  have  been 
satisfied  with  your  verbal  promise ;  but  I  must  say,  Mr. 
Quirk's  gray  hairs  seem  to  have  made  him  quite  —  eh! 
you  understand  ]     Don't  you  think  so,  Mr.  Titmouse  V 

aTo  be  sure!  'pon  my  honor,  Air.  Gammon!"  replied 
Titmouse  ;  not  very  distinctly  understanding,  however, 
what  he  was  so  energetically  assenting  to. 

"I  dare  say  you  wonder  why  we  wish  you  to  stop 
a  few  months  longer  at  your  present  hiding-place  at 
Tag- 

bly  !  —  after  the  tenth  of  next  month,  sir," 
replied  Titmouse,  eagerly. 

"  But  as  soon  as  we  begin  to  fire  off  our  guns  against 
the  enemy  —  Lord,  my  dear  sir,  if  they  could  only  find 


176  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAX. 

out,  you  know,  where  to  get  at  you  —  you  would  never 
live  to  enjoy  your  ten  thousand  a-year  !  They  'd  either 
poison  or  kidnap  you  —  get  you  out  of  the  way,  unless 
you  keep  out  of  their  way  :  and  if  you  will  but  consent  to 
keep  snug  at  Tag-rag's  for  a  while,  who  'd  suspect  where 
you  was?  We  could  easily  arrange  with  your  friend  Tag- 
rag  that  you  should  " 

"My  stars!  I'd  give  something  to  hear  you  tell  Tag- 
rag  —  why,  I  wonder  what  he  '11  do  !  " 

"  Make  you  very  comfortable,  and  let  you  have  your 
own  way  in  everything  —  that  you  may  rely  upon  !  " 

"Go  to  the  play,  for  instance,  whenever  I  want,  and 
do  all  that  sort  of  thing?" 

"  Nay,  try  !  anything !  And  as  for  money,  I  've  per- 
suaded Mr.  Quirk  to  consent  to  our  advancing  you  a  cer- 
tain sum  per  week,  from  the  present  time,  while  the  cause 
is  going  on,"  —  (Titmouse's  heart  began  to  beat  fast,)  — 
"in  order  to  place  you  above  absolute  inconvenience ;  and 
when  you  consider  the  awful  sums  we  shall  have  to  dis- 
burse — cash  out  of  pocket —  (the  tongues  of  counsel,  you 
know,  are  set  on  gold  springs,  and  only  gold  keys  open 
their  lips  !)  —  for  court-fees,  and  a  thousand  other  indis- 
pensable matters,  I  should  candidly  say  that  four  thou- 
sand pounds  of  hard  cash  out  of  pocket,  advanced  by  our 
firm  in  your  case,  would  be  the  very  lowest."  (Titmouse 
stared  at  him  with  an  expression  of  stupid  wonder.)    "  Yes 

—  four  thousand  pounds,  Mr.  Titmouse,  at  the  very  least 

—  the  very  least."  Again  he  paused,  keenly  scrutiniz- 
ing Titmouse's  features  by  the  light  of  the  candles,  which 
just  then  were  brought  in.  "  You  seem  surprised,  Mr. 
Titmouse." 

"  Why  —  why  —  where  's  all  the  money  to  come  from, 
sir  1 "  exclaimed  Titmouse,  aghast. 

"Ah!  that  is  indeed  a  fearful  question,"  —  replied 
Gammon,  with  a  very  serious  air;  "but  at  my  request, 


TEX  THOUSAND  A-YEAK.  177 

our  firm  has  agreed  to  make  the  necessary  advances;  and 
also  (for  /  could  not  bear  the  sight  of  your  distress,  Mr. 
Titmouse  !)  to  supply  your  necessities  liberally  in  the 
mean  time,  as  I  was  saving." 

'•  Won't  you  take  another  glass  of  wine,  Mr.  Gammon  ?" 
suddenly  inquired  Titmouse,  with  a  confident  air. 

"  With  all  my  heart,  Mr.  Titmouse  !  I'm  delighted  that 
you  approve  of  it.  I  paid  enough  for  it,  I  can  warrant 
you." 

"Cuss  me  if  ever  I  tasted  such  wine!  Uncommon! 
Come  —  no  heel-taps,  Mr.  Gammon  —  here  goes  —  let's 
drink  —  success  to  the  affair  !  " 

••  With  all  my  heart,  my  dear  sir  —  with  all  my  heart. 
Success  to  the  thing  —  amen  !  "  and  Gammon  drained 
his  glass  ;  so  did  Titmouse.  "  Ah  !  Mr.  Titmouse,  you  '11 
soon  have  wine  enough  to  float  a  frigate  —  and  indeed 
what  not  —  with  ten  thousand  a-year  1  " 

"And  all  the  back-rents,  you  know  — ha,  ha  !  " 

"  Yes  —  to  be  sure  !  —  the  back-rents  !  The  sweetest 
estate  that  is  to  be  found  in  all  Yorkshire  !  Gracious, 
Mr.  Titmouse  !  "  continued  Gammon,  with  an  excited  air 
—  "What  may  you  not  do?  Go  where  you  like  —  do 
what  you  like  —  get  into  Parliament  —  marry  some  lovely 
woman  of  high  rank  !  " 

"  Lord,  Mr.  Gammon  !  — you  a' n't  dreaming  ]  Nor  II 
But  now,  in  course,  you  must  be  paid  handsome  for  your 
trouble !  —  Only  say  how  much  —  Name  your  sum !  What 
you  please  !  You  only  get  me  all  you  've  said  —  and 
I'll" 

"  For  my  part,  I  wish  to  rely  entirely  on  your  mere 
word  of  honor.  Between  gentlemen,  you  know  —  my 
dear  sir" 

"  You  only  try  me,  sir." 

"  But  you  see,  Mr.  Quirk's  getting  old,  and  naturally  is 
anxious  to  provide  for  those  whom  he  will  leave  behind 
vol.  i.—  VI 


178  TEN   THOUSAND   A- YEAR. 

him  —  and  so  Mr.  Snap  agreed  with  him  —  two  to  one 
against  me,  Mr.  Titmouse  —  of  course  they  carried  the 
day  —  two  to  one." 

"Never  mind  that  !  —  only  say  the  figure,  sir  !  "  cried 
Titmouse,  eagerly. 

"  A  single  year's  income,  only  —  ten  thousand  pounds 
will  hardly" 

"  Ten  thousand  pounds  !  By  jingo,  but  that  is  a  slice 
out  of  the  cake  !  Oh,  Lord  !  "  quoth  Titmouse,  looking 
aghast. 

"  A  mere  crumb,  my  dear  sir  !  —  a  trifle  !  Why,  we 
are  going  to  give  you  that  sum  at  least  every  year  —  and 
indeed  it  was  suggested  to  our  firm,  that  unless  you  gave 
us  at  least  a  sum  of  twenty-five  thousand  pounds  —  in 
fact,  we  were  recommended  to  look  out  for  some  other 
heir." 

"  Oh  dear  !  oh  Mr.  Gammon,"  cried  Titmouse,  hastily 
—  "  it 's  not  to  be  thought  of,  sir." 

"  So  I  said ;  and  as  for  throwing  it  up  —  to  be  sure  we 
shall  have  ourselves  to  borrow  large  sums  to  carry  on  the 
war  —  and  unless  we  have  your  bond  for  at  least  ten 
thousand  pounds,  we  cannot  raise  a  farthing." 

"  Well  —  curse  me,  if  you  sha'n't  do  what  you 
like  !  —  Give  me  your  hand,  and  do  what  you  like, 
Mr.  Gammon  ! " 

"  Thank  you,  Mr.  Titmouse !  How  I  like  a  glass  of 
wine  with  a  friend  in  this  quiet  way  !  —  you  '11  always 
find  me  rejoiced  to  show  " 

"  Your  hand  !  By  George  —  Did  n't  I  take  a  liking  to 
you  from  the  first  1  But  to  speak  my  mind  a  bit  —  as 
for  Mr.  Quirk  —  excuse  me  —  but  he  's  a  cur  —  cur  — 
cur  —  mudg  —  mudg  —  mudg  —  eon  —  hem  !  " 

"  Hope  you  've  not  been  so  imprudent,  my  dear  Tit- 
mouse," threw  in  Mr.  Gammon,  rather  anxiously,  "  as  to 
borrow  money  —  ehV 


TEN    THOUSAND    A-YKAK.  179 

"Devil  knows,  and  devil  oares  !  No  stamp,  I  know  — 
bang  up  to  the  mark  "  —  here  he  winked  an  eye,  and  put 
his  finger  to  his  nose  —  "  wide  awake  —  Huck  —  nek  — 
ock  —  uck  I  how  his  name  sti  — sticks.  Your  hand,  Mr. 
Gammon  —  here  —  this,  this  way  —  what  are  you  bob- 
vour  head  about  for  ]  Ah,  ha  !  —  The  floor  —  'pon 
my  life  !  —  how  funny  —  it  's  like  being  at  sea  —  up,  down 
—  oh  dear  !  "  —  he  clapped  his  hand  to  his  head. 

[Pythagoras  lias  finely  observed,  that  a  man  is  not  to 
be  considered  dead  drunk  till  he  lies  on  the  floor,  and 
stretches  out  his  arms  and  legs  to  prevent  his  going 
lower.] 

S  -aw.  see-saw,  up  and  down,  up  and  down,  went  every- 
thing about  him.  Now  he  felt  sinking  through  the  floor, 
then  gently  rising  towards  the  ceiling.  Mr.  Gammon 
seemed  getting  into  a  mist,  and  waving  about  the  candles 
in  it.  Mr.  Titmouse's  head  swam  ;  his  chair  seemed  to 
be  resting  on  the  waves  of  the  sea. 

"  I  'm  afraid  the  room  's  rather  close,  Mr.  Titmouse," 
hastily  observed  Gammon,  perceiving  from  Titmouse's 
sudden  paleness  and  silence,  but  too  evident  symptoms 
that  his  powerful  intellect  was  for  a  while  paralyzed. 
Gammon  started  to  the  window  and  opened  it.  Paler, 
however,  and  paler  became  Titmouse.  Gammon's  game 
up  much  sooner  than  he  had  calculated  on. 

"  Mrs.  Brown  !  Mrs.  Brown  !  "  he  called  out,  opening 
the  sitting-room  door —  "order  a  coach  instantly,  and  tell 
Tomkins  "  —  that  was  the  inn  porter  —  "  to  get  his  son 
ready  to  go  home  with  this  gentleman  —  he  's  not  very 
well."  He  was  quickly  obeyed.  It  was,  in  truth,  "  all  up" 
with  Titmouse  —  at  least  for  a  while. 

As  soon  as  Gammon  had  thus  got  rid  of  his  distin- 
guished guest,  he  ordered  the  table  to  be  cleared  of  the 
1  tea  to  be  ready  within  half  an  hour.  He 
then  walked  out  to  enjoy  the  cool  evening;  on  returning, 


180  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

sat  pleasantly  sipping  his  tea,  now  and  then  dipping  into 
the  edifying  columns  of  the  Sunday  Flash,  but  oftener 
ruminating  upon  his  recent  conversation  with  Titmouse, 
and  speculating  upon  certain  possible  results  to  himself 
personally ;  and  a  little  after  eleven  o'clock,  that  good 
man,  at  peace  with  all  the  world  —  calm  and  serene  — 
retired  to  repose.  He  had  that  night  rather  a  singular 
dream ;  it  was  of  a  snake  encircling  a  monkey,  as  if  in 
gentle  and  playful  embrace.  Suddenly  tightening  its 
folds,  a  crackling  sound  was  heard ;  the  writhing  coils 
were  then  slowly  unwound  —  and,  with  a  shudder,  he 
beheld  the  monster  licking  over  the  motionless  figure,  till 
it  was  covered  with  a  viscid  slime.  Then  the  serpent 
began  to  devour  his  prey  ;  and,  when  gorged  and  helpless, 
behold,  it  was  immediately  fallen  upon  by  two  other 
snakes.  To  his  disturbed  fancy,  there  was  a  dim  resem- 
blance between  their  heads  and  those  of  Quirk  and  Snap 
—  they  all  three  became  intertwisted  together  —  and 
writhed  and  struggled  till  they  fell  over  the  edge  of  a 
dark  and  frightful  precipice  —  he  woke  —  thank  God  !  it 
was  only  a  dream. 


TEN    THOUSAND    A-YKAK.  181 


CHAPTER  V. 

WHEN,  after  his  return  from  Mr.  Gammon's  chambers,  at 
Humes'  Inn,  Titmouse  woke  at  an  early  hour  in  the 
morning,  lie  was  laboring  under  the  ordinary  effects  of 
unaccustomed  inebriety.  His  lips  were  perfectly  parched ; 
his  tongue  clave  to  the  roof  of  his  mouth  j  there  was  a 
horrid  weight  pressing  on  his  aching  eyes,  and  upon  his 
throbbing  head.  His  pillow  seemed  undulating  beneath 
him,  and  everything  swimming  around  him  ;  but  when, 
to  crown  the  whole,  he  was  roused  from  a  momentary  nap 
by  the  insupportable  —  the  loathed  importunities  of  Mrs. 
Squallop,  that  he  would  just  sit  up  and  partake  of  three 
thick  rounds  of  hot  buttered  toast,  and  a  great  basin  of 
smoking  tea,  which  would  do  him  so  much  good,  and 
settle  his  stomach  —  at  all  events,  if  he  'd  only  have  a 
thimbleful  of  gin  in  it  —  poor  Titmouse  was  fairly  over- 
come !  ...  He  lay  in  bed  all  that  day,  during  which 
he  underwent  very  severe  sufferings  ;  and  it  was  not  till 
towards  night  that  he  began  to  have  anything  like  a 
distinct  recollection  of  the  events  of  the  evening  which  he 
had  spent  with  Mr.  Gammon ;  who,  by  the  way,  had  sent 
one  of  the  clerks,  during  the  afternoon,  to  inquire  after 
him.  He  did  not  get  out  of  bed  on  the  Tuesday  till  past 
twelve  o'clock,  when,  in  a  very  rickety  condition,  he  made 
his  appearance  at  the  shop  of  Messrs.  Tag-rag  and  Co.  ; 
on  approaching  which  he  felt  a  sudden  faintness,  arising 
from  mingled  apprehension  and  disgust. 

M  What  are  you  doing  here,  sir?  —  You're  no  longer  in 
my  employment,  sir,"  exclaimed  Tag-rag,  attempting  to 


182  TEN   THOUSAND    A-YEAR. 


k  calmly,  a3  he  hurried  down  the  shop,  white  with 
rage,  to  meet  Titmouse,  and  planted  himself  right  in  the 
way  of  his  languid  and  pallid  shopman. 

"  Sir  !  "  — faintly  exclaimed  Titmouse,  with  his  hat  in 
his  hand. 

"  Very  much  obliged,  sir  —  very  !  by  the  offer  of  your 
valuable  services,"  said  Tag-rag.  "  But  — that 's  the  way 
out  again,  sir  —  that  !  —  there  !  —  good-morning,  sir  — 
good-morning,  sir!  —  that's  the  way  out"  —  and  he 
egged  on  Titmouse,  till  he  had  got  him  fairly  into  the 
street  —  with  infinite  difficulty  restraining  himself  from 
giving  the  extruded  sinner  a  parting  kick  !  Titmouse 
stood  for  a  moment  before  the  door,  trembling  and  aghast, 
looking  in  a  bewildered  manner  at  the  shop  :  but  Tag-rag 
again  making  his  appearance,  Titmouse  slowly  walked 
away  and  returned  to  his  lodgings.  Oh  that  Mr.  Gammon 
had  witnessed  the  scene  —  thought  he — and  so  have 
been  satisfied  that  it  had  been  Tag-rag  who  had  put  an 
end  to  his  service,  not  he  himself  who  had  quitted  it  ! 

The  next  day,  about  the  same  hour,  Mr.  Gammon  made 
his  appearance  at  the  establishment  from  which  Titmouse 
had  been  expelled  so  summarily,  and  inquired  for  Mr. 
Tag-rag,  who  presently  presented  himself — and  recogniz- 
ing Mr.  Gammon,  whose  presence  naturally  suggested  the 
previous  day's  transaction  with  Titmouse,  changed  color 
a  little. 

"  What  did  you  please  to  want,  sir  1 "  inquired  Mr. 
Tag-rag,  with  a  would-be  resolute  air,  twirling  round  his 
watch-key  with  some  energy. 

"Only  a  few  minutes'  conversation,  sir,  if  you  please," 
said  Mr.  Gammon,  with  such  a  significant  manner  as  a 
little  disturbed  Mr.  Tag-rag ;  who,  with  an  ill-supported 
sneer,  bowed  very  low,  and  led  the  way  to  his  own  little 
room.  Having  closed  the  door,  he,  with  an  exceedingly 
civil  air,  begged  Mr.  Gammon  to  be  seated;  and  then 


TEX    THOUSAND    A-YEAR.  183 

occupied  the  chair  opposite  to  him,  and  awaited  the  issue 
with  ill-disguised  anxiety. 

"I  am  very  sorry,  Mr.  Tag-rag,"  commenced  Gammon, 
in  his  usual  elegant  and  feeling  manner,  "that  any  mis- 
understanding should  have  arisen  between  you  and  Mr. 
Titmouse !  " 

'■  You're  a  lawyer,  sir,  I  suppose?"  Mr.  Gammon  bowed. 
"  Then  you  must  know,  sir,  that  there  are  always  two  sides 
to  a  quarrel,"  said  Mr.  Tag-rag,  anxiously. 

"  Yes  —  you  are  right,  Mr.  Tag-rag ;  and,  having  al- 
ready heard  Mr.  Titmouse's  version,  may  I  be  favored 
with  your  account  of  your  reasons  for  discharging  him'? 
For  he  tells  us  that  yesterday  you  dismissed  him  sud- 
denly from  your  employment,  without  giving  him  any 
warn  n 

"  So  I  did,  sir ;  and  what  of  that  1 "  inquired  Tag-rag, 
tossing  his  head  with  a  sudden  air  of  defiance.  "  Things 
are  come  to  a  pretty  pass  indeed,  when  a  man  at  the  head 
of  such  an  establishment  as  mine,  can't  dismiss  a  drunken, 
idle,  impertinent  —  abusive  vagabond."  Here  Mr.  Gam- 
mon somewhat  significantly  took  out  his  tablets  —  as  if 
to  note  down  the  language  of  his  companion. 

"Do  you  seriously,"  inquired  Mr.  Gammon,  "charge 
him  with  being  such  a  character,  and  can  you  prove  your 
charges,  Mr.  Tag-rag  1" 

"  Prove  'em  !  yes,  sir,  a  hundred  times  over  ;  so  will  all 
my  young  men  !  "  replied  Tag-rag,  vehemently. 

"And  in  a  court  of  justice,  Mr.  Tag-rag1?"  said  Mr. 
Gammon,  emphatically. 

"  Oh  !  he  is  going  to  law,  is  he  ]  Ah,  ha  !  Bless  my 
soul !  —  So  that 's  why  you  're  come  here  —  ah,  ha  !  — 
•when  you  can  make  a  silk  purse  out  of  a  sow's  ear,  you 
jet  your  bill  out  of  Mr.  Tittlebat  Titmouse  !  —  ha, 
ha,  ha  ! "'  laughed  Tag-rag,  hoping  thereby  to  conceal  how 
much  he  was  really  startled. 


184  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

"Well  —  that's  our  look-out,  Mr.  Tag-rag:  to  Mr. 
Titmouse,  his  character  is  as  valuable  as  Mr.  Tag-rag's 
is  to  him.  In  short,  Mr.  Titmouse  has  placed  himself 
in  our  hands,  and  we  are  resolved  to  go  on  with  the 
case,  if  it  cost  us  a  hundred  pounds  —  we  are  indeed, 
Mr.   Tag-rag.' 

"  Why  —  he 's  not  a  penny  in  the  world  to  go  to  law 
with  !  "  exclaimed  Tag-rag,  with  an  air  of  mingled  won- 
der, scorn,  and  alarm. 

"But  you  forget,  Mr.  Tag-rag,  that  if  Mr.  Titmouse's 
account  of  the  business  should  turn  out  to  be  correct, 
it  will  be  your  pocket  that  must  pay  all  the  expenses, 
amounting  probably  to  twenty  times  the  sum  which  the 
law  may  award  to  him !  " 

"  Laiv,  sir  1  —  It 's  not  justice  !  —  I  hate  law.  —  Give 
me  common  sense  and  common  honesty  1 "  said  Mr.  Tag- 
rag,  with  a  little  agitation. 

"  Both  of  them  would  condemn  your  conduct,  Mr.  Tag- 
rag;  for  I  have  heard  a  full  account  of  what  Mr.  Tit- 
mouse has  suffered  at  your  hands  —  of  the  cause  of  your 
sudden  warning  to  him,  and  your  still  more  sudden  dis- 
missal of  yesterday.  Oh,  Mr.  Tag-rag  !  upon  my  honor, 
it  won't  do  —  not  for  a  moment  - —  and  should  you  go  on, 
rely  upon  what  I  tell  you,  that  it  will  cost  you  dear." 

"And  suppose,  sir,"  said  Tag-rag,  in  a  would-be  con- 
temptuous tone  —  "I  should  have  witnesses  to  prove  all 
I  've  said  —  which  of  us  will  look  funny  then,  sir  % n 

"Which,  indeed  !  However,  since  that  is  your  humor, 
I  can  only  assure  you  that  it  is  very  possible  we  may  be, 
by  the  time  of  the  trial,  possessed  of  some  evidence  which 
will  surprise  you :  and  that  Mr.  Titmouse  defies  you  to 
prove  any  misconduct  on  his  part.  We  have,  in  short, 
taken  up  his  cause,  and,  as  you  may  perhaps  find  by  and 
by,  to  your  cost,  we  shall  not  easily  let  it  drop." 

"  I  mean  no  offence,  sir,"  said  Tag-rag,  in  a  mitigated 


TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAK.  185 

tone ;  "  but  I  must  say,  that  ever  since  you  first  came 
here, Titmouse  has  boon  quite  another  person.  He  seems 
not  to  know  who  I  am,  nor  to  care  either  —  and  he  's  per- 
fectly unbearable." 

"My  dear  sir,  what  has  he  said  or  done?  —  that,  you 
know,  is  what  you  must  be  prepared  to  prove,  when  you 
come  into  court  !  " 

"  Well,  sir  !  and  which  of  us  is  likely  to  be  best  off  for 
witnesses?  —  Think  of  that,  sir — I've  eighteen  young 
men  " 

"  We  shall  chance  that,  sir,"  replied  Gammon,  shrug- 
ging his  shoulders,  and  smiling  very  bitterly;  "but  again, 
I  ask,  what  did  you  dismiss  him  for]  and,  sir,  I  request 
a  plain,  straightforward  answer." 

"  What  did  I  dismiss  him  for?  —  Haven't  I  eyes  and 
ears? — First  and  foremost,  he's  the  most  odious-man- 
nered fellow  I  ever  came  near  —  and  —  he  hadn't  a  shirt 
to  his  back  when  I  first  took  him  —  the  ungrateful  wretch  ! 
—  Sir,  it's  at  any  rate  not  against  the  law,  I  suppose,  to 
hate  a  man  ;  —  and  if  it  is  n't,  how  I  hate  Titmouse  !  " 

"  Mr.  Tag-rag"  —  said  Gammon,  lowering  his  voice,  and 
looking  very  earnestly  at  his  companion —  "can  I  say  a 
word  to  you  in  confidence  —  the  strictest  confidence  1 " 

"  What 's  it  about,  sir  1 "  inquired  Tag-rag,  somew7hat 
apprehensively. 

"  I  dare  say  you  may  have  felt,  perhaps,  rather  sur- 
prised at  the  interest  which  I  —  in  fact  our  office,  the 
office  of  Quirk,  Gammon,  and  Snap,  in  Saffron  Hill  — 
appear  to  have  taken  in  Mr.  Titmouse." 

"  Why,  sir,  it 's  your  look-out  to  seo  how  you  're  to 
be  paid  for  what  you  're  doing  —  and  I  dare  say  law- 
yers generally  keep  a  pretty  sharp  look-out  in  that 
direction  ! " 

Gammon  smiled,  and  continued  —  "  It  may,  perhaps, 
a   little  surprise   you,  Mr.   Tag-rag,   to   hear  that   your 


186  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

present  (ought  I  to  say,  your  late  ?)  shopman,  Mr.  Tittle- 
bat Titmouse,  is  at  this  moment  probably  the  very  lucki- 
est man  —  and  one  among  the  richest,  too  —  in  this 
kingdom." 

"  Why  — you  don't  mean  to  say  he 's  drawn  a  prize  in 
the  lottery?"  —  exclaimed  Tag-rag,  pricking  up  his  ears, 
and  manifestly  changing  color. 

"  Pho  !  my  dear  sir,  that  is  a  mere  bagatelle  compared 
with  the  good  fortune  which  has  just  fallen  to  his  lot.  I 
solemnly  assure  you,  that  I  believe  it  will  very  shortly 
turn  out  that  he  is  at  this  moment  the  undoubted  owner 
of  an  estate  worth  at  least  ten  thousand  a-year,  besides  a 
vast  accumulation  of  ready  money  !  " 

"  Ten  thousand  a-year,  sir  !  —  My  Titmouse  !  —  Tittle- 
bat Titmouse  !  —  Ten  thousand  a-year  !  it 's  quite  im- 
possible !  "  faltered  Tag-rag,  after  a  pause,  having  gone  as 
pale  as  death. 

"  I  have  as  little  doubt  of  the  fact,  however,  sir,  as  I 
have  that  you  yesterday  turned  him  out  of  doors,  Mr. 
Tag-rag  !  " 

"  But  "  —  said  Mr.  Tag-rag,  in  a  low  tone  —  "  who 
could  have  dreamed  it?  —  How  was — really,  Mr.  Gam- 
mon !  —  how  was  I  to  know  it  1 " 

"That's  the  fact,  however,"  said  Gammon,  shrugging 
his  shoulders.  Tag-rag  wriggled  about  in  his  chair,  put 
his  hands  in  and  out  of  his  pockets,  scratched  his  head, 
and  continued  staring  open-mouthed  at  the  bearer  of 
such  astounding  intelligence.  "Perhaps,  however,  all 
this  is  meant  as  a  joke,  sir,"  —  said  he  —  "  And  if  so  — 
it 's  —  it 's  —  a  very  " 

"  It 's  one  of  his  solicitors  who  were  fortunate  enough 
to  make  the  discovery,  that  tells  you,  sir,"  interrupted 
Gammon,  calmly.  "I  repeat  what  I  have  already  told 
you,  Mr.  Tag-rag,  that  an  estate  of  ten  thousand  a-year  is 
the  very  least  " 


TEX   THOUSAND   A-YEAK.  187 

"  Why,  that  's  two  hundred   thousand  pounds,  sir  !  " 
—  exclaimed  Tag-rag,  with  an  awe-struck  air. 


At  the  very  least"- 


"Lord.  Mr.  Gammon!  —  Excuse  me,  sir,  but  how  did 
you  find  it  out  \n 

"Mere  accident  —  a  mere  accidental  discovery,  sir,  in 
the  course  of  other  professional  inquiries  !  " 

'•  And  docs  Mr.  Titmouse  know  it?" 

"Ever  since  the  day,  Mr.  Tag-rag,  after  that  on  which 
I  called  on  him  here  !  "  replied  Gammon,  pointedly. 

••  You  —  don  't  —  say  —  so  !  "  — exclaimed  Tag-rag, 
and  then  continued  silent  for  nearly  half  a  minute,  evi- 
dently amazed  beyond  all  power  of  expression. 

"  Well,"  —  at  length  he  observed  —  "I  will  say  this  — 
with  all  his  few  faults  —  he's  the  most  amiable  young 
gentleman  —  the  very  amiablest  young  gentleman  I  — 
ever  —  came  near.  I  always  thought  there  was  some- 
thing uncommon  superior-like  in  his  looks." 

"  Yes  —  I  think  he  is  of  rather  an  amiable  turn,"  ob- 
served Gammon,  with  an  expressive  smile  —  "  very  gen- 
tlemanlike —  and  so  intelligent  " 

"  Intelligent !  Mr.  Gammon  !  you  should  only  have 
known  him  as  I  have  known  him  !  —  Well,  to  be  sure  ! 

—  Lord  !     His  only  fault  was,  that  he  was  above  his  busi- 

but  when  one  comes  to  think  of  it,  how  could   it 
be  otherwise1?     From  the  time  I  first  clapped  eyes  on  him 

—  I  — I  —  knew  he  was —  a  superior  article  —  quite  su- 
perior—  you  know  what  I  mean,  sir?  —  he  couldn't  help 
it,  of  course !  —  to  be  sure  —  he  never  was  much  liked  by  the 
other  young  men  ;  but  that  was  jealousy  !  —  all  jealousy  ; 
I  saw  that  all  the  while."  Here  he  looked  at  the  door, 
and  added  in  a  very  low  tone,  "Many  sleepless  nights  has 
their  bad  treatment  of  Mr.  Titmouse  cost  me!  —  Even  I, 
now  and  then,  used  to  look  and  speak  sharply  to  him  — 
just  to  keep  him,  as  it  were,  down  to  the  mark  of  the 


188  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAK. 

others  —  he  was  so  uncommon  handsome  and  genteel  in 
his  manner,  sir.  I  remember  telling  my  good  lady  the 
very  first  day  he  came  to  me,  that  he  was  a  gentleman 
born  —  or  ought  to  have  been  one." 

Now,  do  you  suppose,  acute  reader,  that  Mr.  Tag-rag 
was  insincere  in  all  this  1  By  no  means.  He  spoke  the 
real  dictates  of  his  heart,  unaware  of  the  sudden  change 
which  had  taken  place  in  his  feelings.  It  certainly  has 
an  ugly  look  of  improbability  —  but  it  was  the  nature  of 
the  beast ;  his  eye  suddenly  caught  a  glimpse  of  the  gold- 
en calf,  and  he  instinctively  fell  down  and  worshipped  it. 
"Well  —  at  all  events,"  said  Mr.  Gammon,  scarcely  able 
to  keep  a  serious  expression  on  his  face  —  "  though  he  's 
not  lived  much  like  a  gentleman  hitherto,  yet  he  will  live 
for  the  future  like  a  very  great  gentleman  —  and  spend  his 
money  like  one,  too." 

"I  —  I  —  dare  say  — he  will !  —  I  wonder  how  he  will 
get  through  a  quarter  of  it !  —  what  do  you  think  he  '11 
do,  sir?" 

"Heaven  only  knows  —  he  may  very  shortly  do  just 
what  he  likes  !  Go  into  the  House  of  Commons,  or  — 
perhaps  —  have  a  peerage  given  him  " 

"  Lord,  sir !  —  I  feel  as  if  I  should  n't  be  quite  right 
again  for  the  rest  of  the  day  !  —  I  own  to  you,  sir,  that 
all  yesterday  and  to-day  I  've  been  on  the  point  of  going 

to  Mr.  Titmouse's  lodgings  to  apologize  for  —  for 

Good  gracious  me  !  one  can't  take  it  all  in  at  once  —  Ten 
thousand  a-year  !  —  Many  a  lord  has  n't  got  more  —  some 
not  half  as  much,  I  '11  be  bound  !  —  Dear  me,  what  will 
he  do  !  —  Well,  one  thing  I  'm  sure  of —  he  '11  never  have 
a  truer  friend  than  plain  Thomas  Tag-rag,  though  I've 
not  always  been  a-flattering  him  — I  respected  him  too 
much  1  —  The  many  little  things  I  've  borne  with  in  Tit- 
mouse, that  in  any  one  else  I  'd  have  —  But  why  did  n't 
he  tell  me,  sir  1    We  should  have  understood  one  another 


TEX    THOUSAND    A-YE.VK.  189 

iii  ■  moment."  —  Here  he  paused  abruptly  ;  for  his  breath 
seemed  suddenly  taken  away,  as  ho  reviewed  the  series  of 
indignities  which  he  had  latterly  inflicted  on  Titmouse  — 

the  kind  of  life  which  that  amiable  young  gentleman  had 
led  in  his  establishment. 

Never  had  the  keen  Gammon  enjoyed  anything  more 
exquisitely  than  the  scene  which  1  have  been  describ- 
ing. To  a  man  of  his  practical  sagacity  in  the  affairs 
of  life,  and  knowledge  of  human  nature,  nothing  could 
appear  more  ludicrously  contemptible  than  the  conduct 
of  poor  Tag-rag.  How  differently  are  the  minds  of  men 
constituted  !  How  Gammon  despised  Tag-rag  !  And 
what  opinion  has  the  acute  reader  by  this  time  formed 
of  ( rammon  ? 

14  No%»j  may  I  take  for  granted,  Mr.  Tag-rag,  that  we 
understand  each  other  ]  "  inquired  Gammon. 

"  Yes,  sir,"  replied  Tag-rag,  meekly.  "  But  do  you 
think  Mr.  Titmouse  will  ever  forgive  or  forget  the  little 
misunderstanding  we  've  lately  had  1  If  I  could  but  ex- 
plain to  him  how  I  have  been  acting  a  part  towards  him 
—  all  for  his  good  !  " 

"  You  may  have  opportunities  for  doing  so,  if  you  are 
really  so  disposed,  Mr.  Tag-rag ;  for  I  have  something  se- 
riously to  propose  to  you.  Circumstances  render  it  desir- 
able that  for  some  little  time  this  important  affair  should 
be  kept  as  quiet  as  possible  ;  and  it  is  Mr.  Titmouse's 
wish  and  ours  —  as  his  confidential  professional  advis- 
ers —  that  for  some  few  months  he  should  continue  in 
your  establishment,  and  apparently  in  your  service  as 
before." 

"  In  my  service  !  —  my  service  !  "  interrupted  Tag-rag, 
opening  his  eyes  to  their  utmost.  "I  sha 'n't  know  how  to 
behave  in  my  own  premises  !  Have  a  man  with  ten  thou- 
sand a-year  behind  my  counter,  sir]  I  might  as  well  have 
the  Lord  Mayor  !     Sir,  it  can't  —  it  can't  be.     Xow,  if 


190  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

Mr.  Titmouse  chose  to  become   a  partner  in  the  house 

—  ay,  there  might  be  something  in  that  —  he  need  n't 
have  any  trouble  —  be  only  a  sleeping  partner."  Tag-rag 
warmed  with  the  thought.  "  Really,  sir,  that  would  n't 
be  so  much  amiss  —  would  it  ? "  Gammon  assured  him 
that  it  was  out  of  the  question;  and  gave  him  some  of 
the  reasons  for  the  proposal  which  he  (Mr.  Gammon)  had 
been  making.  While  Gammon  fancied  that  Tag-rag  was 
paying  profound  attention  to  what  he  was  saying,  Tag-rag's 
thoughts  had  shot  far  ahead.  He  had  an  only  child  —  a 
daughter,  about  twenty  years  old  —  Miss  Tabitha  Tag-rag ; 
and  the  delightful  possibility  of  her  by-and-by  becoming 
Mrs.  Titmouse,  put  her  aspiring  parent  into  a  perspira- 
tion. Into  the  proposal  just  made  by  Mr.  Gammon,  Tag- 
rag  fell  with  great  eagerness,  which  he  attempted  to  conceal 

—  for  what  innumerable  opportunities  would  it  not  afford 
him  for  bringing  about  the  desire  of  his  heart  —  for  throw- 
ing the  lovely  young  couple  into  each  other's  way,  —  en- 
dearing them  to  each  other  !  Oh,  delightful !  It  really 
looked  almost  as  if  it  had  been  determined  by  the  powers 
above  that  the  thing  should  come  to  pass !  If  Mr.  Tit- 
mouse did  not  dine  with  him,  Mrs.  and  Miss  Tag-rag, 
at  Satin  Lodge,  Clapham,  on  the  very  next  Sunday,  it 
should,  Tag-rag  resolved,  be  owing  to  no  fault  of  his. — 
Mr.  Gammon  having  arranged  everything  exactly  as  he 
had  desired,  and  having  again  enjoined  Mr.  Tag-rag  to 
absolute  secrecy,  took  his  departure.  Mr.  Tag-rag,  in  his 
excitement,  thrust  out  his  hand,  and  grasped  that  of  Gam- 
mon, which  was  extended  towards  him  somewhat  coldly 
and  reluctantly.  Tag-rag  attended  him  with  extreme  obse- 
quiousness to  the  door ;  and  on  his  departure,  walked  back 
rapidly  to  his  own  room,  and  sat  down  for  nearly  half  an 
hour  in  a  sort  of  turbid  but  delicious  revery.  Abruptly 
rising,  at  length,  he  clapped  his  hat  on  his  head,  and  say- 
ing, as  he  passed  along  the  shop,  that  he  should  soon  be 


TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR.  191 

back,  hurried  out  to  call  upon  his  future  son-in-law,  full 
of  affectionate  anxiety  concerning  his  health  —  and  vow- 
ing within  himself,  that  henceforth  it  should  be  the  study 
of  his  life  to  make  his  daughter  and  Titmouse  happy  | 
There  could  be  DO  doubt  of  the  reality  of  the  event  just 
eommiuiieated  to  him  by  Mr.  Gammon \  for  he  was  one 
of  a  well-known  firm  of  solicitors;  he  had  had  an  inter- 
view on  "  important  business  "  with  Titmouse  a  fortnight 
before,  and  that  could  have  been  nothing  but  the  prodi- 
gious event  just  communicated  to  himself.  Such  tilings 
had  happened  toothers — why  not  to  Tittlebat  Titmouse  1 
In  short.  Tag-rag  had  no  doubt  on  the  matter;  and  his 
heart  really  yearned  towards  Titmouse. 

Finding  that  gentleman  not  at  home,  Mr.  Tag-rag  left 
a  most  particularly  civil  message,  half  a  dozen  times  re- 
peated, with  Mrs.  Squallop  (to  whom  also  he  was  spe- 
cially civil,)  to  the  effect  that  he,  Mr.  Tag-rag,  would  be 
only  too  happy  to  see  Mr.  Titmouse  at  No.  375,  Oxford 
Street,  whenever  it  might  suit  his  convenience  ;  that  Mr. 
Tag-rag  had  something  very  particular  to  say  to  him  about 
the  unpleasant  and  unaccountable  [ !  ]  occurrence  of  yester- 
day :  that  Mr.  Tag-rag  was  most  deeply  concerned  to  hear 
of  Mr.  Titmouse's  indisposition,  and  anxious  to  learn  from 
himself  that  he  had  recovered,  &c.  &c.  &c.  ;  —  all  which, 
together  with  one  or  two  other  little  matters,  which 
Mrs.  Squallop  could  not  help  putting  together,  satisfied 
that  shrewd  lady  that  "something  was  in  the  wind  about 
Mr.  Titmouse ; "  and  made  her  reflect  rather  anxiously 
on  one  or  two  violent  scenes  she  had  had  with  him,  and 
which  the  was  now  ready  entirely  to  forget  and  forgive. 
Having  thus  done  all  that  at  present  was  in  his  power 
to  forward  the  affair,  the  anxious  and  excited  Tag-rag  re- 
turned to  his  shop  ;  on  entering  which,  one  Lutestring,  his 
principal  young  man,  eagerly  apprised  him  of  a  claim  which 
he  had,  as  he  imagined,  only  the  moment  before,  estab- 


192  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

lished  to  the  thanks  of  Mr.  Tag-rag,  by  having  "bundled 
off,  neck  and  crop,  that  hodious  Titmouse,"  who,  about 
five  minutes  before,  had,  it  seemed,  had  the  "impudence  " 
to  present  himself  at  the  shop-door,  and  walk  in  as  if 
nothing  had  happened  !  !  [  Titmouse  had  so  presented 
himself  in  consequence  of  a  call  from  Mr.  Gammon, 
immediately  after  his  interview  with  Tag-rag.] 

"  You  —  ordered  —  Mr.  Titmouse  —  off ! !  "  exclaimed 
Tag-rag,  starting  back  aghast,  and  almost  petrifying  his 
voluble  and  officious  assistant. 

"  Of  course,  sir,"  at  length  exclaimed  that  person, 
meekly — "after  what  happened  yester" 

"  Who  authorized  you,  Mr.  Lutestring  ? "  inquired 
Tag-rag,  striving  to  choke  down  the  rage  rising  within 
him. 

"Why,  sir,  I  realty  supposed  that" 

"  You  supposed  !  !     You  're  a  meddling,  impertinent, 

disgusting  " Suddenly  his  face  was  overspread  with 

smiles,  as  three  or  four  elegantly  dressed  customers  en- 
tered, whom  he  received  with  profuse  obeisances.  But 
when  their  backs  were  turned,  he  directed  a  lightning 
look  towards  Lutestring,  and  retreated  once  more  to  his 
room,  to  meditate  on  the  agitating  events  of  the  last  hour. 
The  extraordinary  alteration  in  Mr.  Tag-rag's  behavior  was 
attributed  by  his  shopmen  to  his  having  been  frightened 
out  of  his  wits  by  the  threats  of  Titmouse's  lawyer  —  for 
such  it  was  clear  the  stranger  was ;  and  more  than  one  of 
them  stored  it  up  in  their  minds  as  a  useful  precedent 
against  some  future  occasion. 

Twice  afterwards  during  the  day  did  Tag-rag  call  at  Mr. 
Titmouse's  lodgings  —  but  in  vain  ;  and  on  returning  the 
third  time  he  felt  not  a  little  disquieted.  He  determined, 
however,  to  call  the  first  thing  on  the  ensuing  morning ; 
if  he  should  then  fail  of  seeing  Mr.  Titmouse,  he  was  re- 
solved to  go  to  Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon,  and  Snap  —  and 


TEN    THOUSAND    A-YKAK.  193 

besides,  address  a  very  affectionate  letter  to  'Sir.  Titmouse. 
How  totally  changed  had  become  all  his  feelings  towards 
that  gentleman  within  the  last  few  hours.  The  more  that 
Tag-rag  reflected  en  Titmouse's  conduct,  the  more  he  saw 
in  it  to  approve  ot\  Hew  steady  and  regular  had  lie  been 
in  his  habits  !  how  civil  and  obliging!  how  patient  of  re- 
buke !  how  pleasing  in  his  manners  to  the  customers  ! 
Surely,  surely,  thought  Tag-rag,  Titmouse  can't  have  been 
four  long  years  in  my  employ  without  getting  a  —  sort  of 
a  —  feeling  —  of  attachment  to  me  —  he'd  have  left  long 
ago  if  he  hadn't!  It  was  true  there  had  now  and  then 
been  tills  between  them;  but  who  could  agree  alwa}*s  1 
Even  Mrs.  Tag-rag  ami  he,  when  they  were  courting,  often 
fell  out  with  one  another  !  —  Tag-rag  was  now  ready  to 
and  forgive  all  —  he  had  never  meant  any  harm  to 
Titmouse.  He  believed  that  poor  Tittlebat  was  an  orphan, 
unhappy  soul  !  alone  in  the  wide  world  —  now  he  would 
become  the  prey  of  designing  strangers  and  adventurers. 
Tag-rag  did  not  like  the  appearance  of  Gammon.  No 
doubt  that  person  would  try  and  ingratiate  himself  as 
much  as  possible  with  Titmouse !  Then  Titmouse  was 
remarkably  good-looking.  "I  wonder  what  Tabby  will 
think  of  him  when  she  sees  him  !  "  How  anxious  Tittle- 
bat must  be  to  see  her  —  his  daughter  !  How  could  Tag- 
rag  make  Tittlebat's  stay  at  his  premises  (for  he  could  not 
bring  himself  to  believe  that  on  the  morrow  he  could  not 
set  all  right,  and  disavow  the  abominable  conduct  of  Lute- 
string) agreeable  and  delightful?  He  would  discharge  the 
f  his  young  men  that  did  not  show  Titmouse  proper 
respect. —  What  low  lodgings  poor  Tittlebat  lived  in  !  — 
Why  could  he  not  take  up  his  quarters  at  Satin  Lodge  1 
They  always  had  a  nice  spare  bedroom.  Ah  !  that  would 
be  a  stroke  !  How  Tabby  could  endear  herself  to  him  ! 
What  a  number  of  things  Mrs.  Tag-rag  could  do  to  make 
him  comfortable  ! 

V<»L.  i.—  13 


194  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

About  seven  o'clock  Tag-rag  quitted  his  premises  in 
Oxford  Street,  for  his  country  house  ;  and,  occupied  with 
these  and  similar  delightful  and  anxious  thoughts  and 
speculations,  hurried  along  Oxford  Street  on  his  way  to 
the  Clapham  stage,  without  thinking  of  his  umbrella, 
though  it  rained  fast.  When  he  had  taken  his  place  on 
the  coach-box,  beside  old  Crack,  (as  he  had  done  almost 
every  night  for  years,)  he  was  so  unusually  silent  that 
Crack  naturally  thought  his  best  passenger  was  going  to 
become  bankrupt,  or  compound  with  his  creditors,  or  do 
something  in  that  line,  shortly.  Mr.  Tag-rag  could  hardly 
keep  his  temper  at  the  slow  pace  old  Crack  was  driving  at 
— just  when  Mr.  Tag-rag  would  have  wished  to  gallop  the 
whole  way.  Never  had  he  descended  with  so  much  brisk- 
ness, as  when  the  coach  at  length  drew  up  before  the  lit- 
tle green  gate,  which  opened  on  the  tidy  little  gravel 
walk,  which  led  up  to  the  little  green  wooden  porch, 
which  sheltered  the  little  door  which  admitted  you  into 
little  Satin  Lodge.  As  Tag-rag  stood  for  a  moment  wip- 
ing his  wet  shoes  upon  the  mat,  he  could  not  help  observ- 
ing, for  the  first  time,  by  the  inward  light  of  ten  thousand 
a-year,  how  uncommon  narrow  the  passage  was;  and  think- 
ing that  Satin  Lodge  would  never  doy  when  he  should  be 
the  father-in-law  of  a  man  worth  ten  thousand  a-year  — 
but  he  could  easily  let  that  house  then,  and  take  a  large 
one.  As  he  hung  his  hat  upon  the  peg,  the  perilous  in- 
solence of  Lutestring  occurred  to  him ;  and  he  deposited 
such  a  prodigious,  but  half-suppressed  execration  upon 
that  gentleman's  name,  as  must  have  sunk  a  far  more 
buoyant  sinner  many  fathoms  deeper  than  usual  into  a 
certain  hot  and  deep  place  that  shall  be  nameless. 

Mrs.  and  Miss  Tag-rag  were  sitting  in  the  front  parlor, 
intending  to  take  tea  as  soon  as  Mr.  Tag-rag  should  have 
arrived.  It  was  not  a  large  room,  but  sweetly  furnished, 
according  to  the  taste  of  the  owners.     There  was  only 


TEN  THOUSAND   A.-YEAK.  195 

one  window,  and  it  had  a  flaunting  white  summer  cur- 
tain. The  walls  were  ornamented  with  three  pictures,  in 
ponderous  gilt  frames,  being  portraits  of  Mr.,  Mrs.,  and 
MIsb  Tag-rag;  and  1  do  not  feel  disposed  to  say  more  con- 
cerning these  pictures,  than  that  in  each  of  them  the  dress 
was  done  with  elaborate  exactness  —  the  faces  seeming  to 
have  been  painted  in,  for  the  purpose  of  setting  off  and 
completing  the  picture  of  the  dress.  The  skinny  little 
Miss  Tag  rag  sat  at  the  worn-out,  jingling  pianoforte,  caus- 
ing it  to  utter  —  oh,  horrid  and  doleful  sound!  —  "  The 
Battle  of  Prague?  Mrs.  Tag-rag,  a  fat,  showily  dressed 
woman  of  about  fifty,  her  cap  having  a  prodigious  number 
of  artificial  flowers  in  it.  sat  reading  a  profitable  volume,  en- 
titled "Groans from  the  Bottomless  Pit  to  Awaken  Sleeping 
Sinners."  by  (as  he  was  pleased  to  dignify  himself)  the 
I:  .  DlSMAL  HORROR  —  a  very  rousing  young  dissenting 
preacher  lately  come  into  that  neighborhood,  and  who 
had  almost  frightened  into  lits  half  the  women  and  chil- 
dren, and  one  or  two  old  men,  of  his  congregation;  giving 
out,  among  several  similarly  cheering  intimations,  that 
they  must  all  necessarily  be  damned  unless  they  immedi- 
ately set  about  making  themselves  as  miserable  as  possi- 
sible  in  this  world.  Only  the  Sunday  before,  he  had 
pointed  out,  with  awful  force  and  distinctness,  how  cards 
and  novels  were  the  devil's  traps  to  catch  souls  ;  and  balls 

and  theatres  short  and  easy  cuts  to ! 

He  had  proved  to  his  trembling  female  hearers,  in  ef- 
fect, that  there  was  only  one  way  to  heaven,  t.  e.  through 
his  chapel  ;  that  the  only  safe  mode  of  spending  their 
time  on  earth  was  reading  such  blessed  works  as  that 
which  he  had  just  published,  and  going  daily  to  prayer- 
meetiiiLrs.  When,  however,  a  Sunday  or  two  before,  he 
had  the  assurance  to  preach  a  funeral  sermon,  to  "im- 
prove the  death" — such  being  his  impressive  phrase  — 
of  a  Miss  Snooks,  (who  had  kept  a  circulating  library  in 


196  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

the  neighborhood,  but  had  not  been  a  member  of  his  con- 
gregation ;)  and  who,  having  been  to  the  theatre  on  the 
Thursday  night,  was  taken  ill  of  a  bowel  attack  on  the 
Friday,  and  was  a  "  lifeless  corpse  when  the  next  Sabbath 
dawned  "  —  you  might  have  heard  a  beetle  sneeze  within 
any  of  the  walls,  all  over  the  crowded  chapel.  Two-thirds 
of  the  women  present,  struck  with  the  awful  judgment 
upon  the  deceased  Miss  Snooks,  inwardly  made  solemn 
vows  never  again  to  enter  the  accursed  walls  of  a  theatre 
or  concert-room  ; u  many  determined  no  longer  to  sub- 
scribe to  the  circulating  library,  ruining  their  precious 
souls  with  light  and  amusing  reading  ;  and  almost  all  re- 
solved forthwith  to  become  active  members  of  a  sort  of 
religious  tract  society,  which  "  dear  Mr.  Horror"  had  just 
established  in  the  neighborhood,  for  the  purpose  of  giving 
the  sick  and  starving  poor  spiritual  food,  in  the  shape  of 
tracts,  (chiefly  written  by  himself,)  which  might  "  wean 
their  affections  away  from  this  vain  world,"  and  "fix  them 
on  better  things,"  rejoicing,  in  the  meanwhile,  in  the  bit- 
ter pangs  of  destitution  —  and  able  to  bear  frhem  !  All 
this  sort  of  thing  Mr.  Horror  possibly  imagined  to  be 
calculated  to  advance  the  cause  of  real  religion  !  In  short, 
he  had  created  a  sort  of  spiritual  fever  about  the  place 
which  was  then  just  at  its  height  in  worthy  Mrs.  Tag-rag. 

"  Well,  Dolly,  how  are  you  to-night  % "  inquired  Tag- 
rag,  with  unusual  briskness,  on  entering  the  room. 

"  Tolerable,  thank  you,  Tag,"  replied  Mrs,  Tag-rag, 
mournfully,  with  a  sigh,  closing  the  cheerful  volume  she 
had  been  perusing  —  it  having  been  recommended  the  pre- 
ceding Sunday  from  the  pulpit  by  its  pious  and  gifted 
author,  to  be  read  and  prayed  over  every  day  by  every 
member  of  his  congregation  ! 

"  And  how  are  you,  Tabby  1 "  said  Tag-rag,  addressing 
his  daughter.  "  Come  and  kiss  me,  you  little  slut  — 
come  !" 


TEN    THOUSAND    A-YKAK.  197 

••  No,  I  sha'n't,  pal     Do  Let  me  go  on  with  my  practis- 
said  Miss  Tag-rag  —  and  twang  !  twang!   went  those 

internal  k 

"D'ye  hear.  Tab?  Come  ami  kiss  me,  you  little 
minx  " 

"Really,  pa,  how  provoking — just  as  I  am  in  the 
middle  of  the  Cries  of the  Wounded/  I  sha'n't  —  that  \s 
flat" 

The  doting  parent  could  not,  however,  be  denied;  so 
he  stepped  to  the  piano,  put  his  arm  around  his  dutiful 
daughter's  neck,  kissed  her  fondly,  and  then  stood  for  a 
moment  behind  her,  admiring  her  brilliant  execution  of 
The  Trumpet  of  Victory.  Having  changed  his  coat,  and 
put  on  an  old  pair  of  shoes,  Mr.  Tag-rag  was  comfortable 
for  the  evening. 

"Tabby  plays  wonderful  well,  Dolly,  don't  she?"  said 
Tag-rag,  as  the  tea-things  were  being  brought  in,  by  way 
of  beginning  a  conversation,  while  he  drew  his  chair  nearer 
to  his  wife. 

"  Ah  !  I'd  a  deal  rather  see  her  reading  something 
serious  —  for  life  is  short,  Tag,  and  eternity's  long." 

"  Botheration  !  —  Stuff !  —  Tut  !  "  exclaimed  Tag-rag  ! 

"  You  may  find  it  out  one  day,  my  dear,  when,  alas  ! 
it 's  too  late  "  — 

"I'll  tell  you  what,  Dolly,"  said  Tag-rag,  angrily, 
"you're  doing  a  great  deal  too  much  in  this  line  of  busi- 
ness—  my  house  is  getting  like  a  Methodist  meeting- 
house. I  can't  bear  it  —  I  can't!  What  the  deuce  is 
come  to  you  all  in  these  parts,  lately?"  Mr.  Tag-rag,  I 
should  apprise  the  reader,  had  been  induced,  some  three 
before,  to  quit  the  Church  of  England  and  take  up 
with  Mr.  Dismal  Horror;  but  his  zeal  had  by  no  means 
kept   pace    with   that  of  his  wife. 

"Aii,  Tag-rag,"  replied  his  wife,  with  a  sigh,  "lean 
only  pray  for  you  —  I  can  do  no  more  " 


198  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

"  Oh ! "  exclaimed  Tag-rag,  with  an  air  of  desperate 
disgust,  thrusting  his  hands  into  his  pockets,  and  stretch- 
ing his  legs  to  their  utmost  extent  under  the  table.  "I'll 
tell  you  what,  Mrs.  T."  he  added  after  a  while,  "I  like 
religion  well  enough  —  but  too  much  of  it  no  one  can 
btand.  Too  much  of  one  thing  is  good  for  nothing ;  you 
may  choke  a  dog  with  pudding;  —  I  sha'n't  renew  my 
sittings  at  Mr.  Horror's." 

"  Oh,  dear,  dear  pa,  do  !  That 's  a  love  of  a  pa  ! "  in- 
terposed Miss  Tag-rag,  twirling  round  on  her  music-stool. 
"  All  Clapham  's  running  after  him  —  he  's  quite  the  rage  ! 
There  's  the  Dugginses,  the  Pips,  the  Jones,  the  Maggots, 
—  and,  really,  Mr.  Horror  does  preach  such  dreadful 
things,  it 's  quite  delightful  to  look  round  and  see  all  the 
people  with  their  eyes  and  mouths  wide  open  —  and  ours 
is  such  a  good  pew  for  seeing  —  and  Mr.  Horror  is  such 
a  bee  —  yeautiful  preacher  —  is  n't  he,  ma  1 " 

"Yes,  love,  he  is  —  but  I  wish  I  could  see  you  profit 
by  him,  and  preparing  for  death  " 

"  Why,  ma,  how  can  you  go  on  in  that  ridiculous  way  % 
You  know  I  'm  not  twenty  yet,  however  old  you  and  pa 
may  be  !  " 

"  Well,  well !  poor  Tabby  ! "  here  Mrs.  Tag-rag's  voice 
faltered  —  "a  day  will  come,  when" 

"  Play  me  the  Devil  among  the  Tailors,  or  Copenhagen 
Waltz,  or  something  of  that  sort,  Tabby,"  said  her  father, 
furiously,  "  or  I  shall  be  sick  !  —  I  can't  bear  it !  Curse 
Mr.  Hor" 

"  Well !  —  Oh,  my  ! !  —  I  never  !  —  Mr.  Tag-rag !  "  ex- 
claimed his  astounded  wife. 

"Play  away,  Tab,  or  I'll  go  and  sit  in  the  kitchen! 
They  're  cheerful  there  /  The  next  time  I  come  across 
Mr.  Horror,  if  I  don't  give  him  a  bit  of  my  mind  "  —  here 
he  paused,  and  slapped  his  hand  with  much  energy  upon 
the  table.     Mrs.  Tag-rag  wiped  her  eyes,  sighed,  and  re- 


TEN    THOUSAND    A-YEAK.  199 

Bomed  her  book.     Miss  Tag-rag  began  to  make  tea,  her 

papa  gradually  forgetting  his  rage,  as  he  fixed  his  dull 
gray  eyes  fondly  on  the  pert  skinny  countenance  of  his 
daughter. 

11  l'.y  the  way.  Taj."  exclaimed  Mrs.  Tag-rag,  suddenly, 
but  in  the  same  mournful  tone,  addressing  her  husband, 
••you  haven't  of  course  forgot  the  flowers  for  my  new 
bonnet  I" 

••  Never  once  thought  of  it,"  replied  Tag-rag,  doggedly. 

'•  You  have  n't  !  Good  gracious!  what  am  I  to  go  to 
chapel  in  next  Sunday  I "  she  exclaimed  with  sudden 
alarm,  closing  her  book,  "  and  our  seat  in  the  very  front 
of  the  gallery  '.  —  bless  me  !  I  shall  have  a  hundred  eyes 
on  me !  " 

••  Now  that  you  're  coming  down  a  bit,  and  dropped  out 
of  the  clouds — or  p'r'aps  I  should  say — come  up  from 
beneath  !  —  Dolly,"    said   her    husband,    much   relieved, 

•'  I  '11  tell  you  a  bit  of  news  that  will,  I  fancy,  rather  " 

1  lome  !  what  is  it,  Tag] "  she  inquired  with  a  sort  of 
languid  curiosity. 

"  What  should  you  say  of  a  chance  of  a  certain  some- 
body "  (here  he  looked  unutterable  things  at  his  daughter) 
"  that  shall  be  nameless,  becoming  mistress  of  ten  thou- 
sand a-year  ? " 

"  Why  "  —  Mrs.  Tag-rag  changed  color  —  "  has  any  one 
fallen  in  love  with  Tab  ]  " 

'•  What  should  you  say,  Mrs.  T.,  of  our  Tab  marrying  a 
man  with  ten  thousand  a-year  I  There  's  for  you  !  Isn't 
thai  better  than  all  your  rel hem  !" 

"Oh,  Tag,  don't  say  that;  but" — here  she  hastily 
turned  down  the  leaf  of  Groans  from  the  Bottomless  Pit, 
and  tossed  that  inestimable  work  upon  the  sofa — "do 
tell  me,  lovey  !   what  are  you  talking  about]  " 

"  What  indeed,  Dolly  !  —  I'm  going  to  have  him  here 
to  dinner  next  Sunday." 


200  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAK. 

Miss  Tag-rag  having  been  listening  with  breathless 
eagerness  to  this  little  colloquy  between  her  prudent  and 
amiable  parents,  unconscious  of  what  she  was  about, 
poured  almost  all  the  contents  of  the  tea-pot  into  the 
sugar-basin,  instead  of  her  papa's  and  mamma's  tea-cups. 

"Have  who,  dear  Tag]"  inquired  Mrs.  Tag-rag,  im- 
patiently. 

"  Who  1  why  whom  but  my  Tittlebat  Titmouse  !  ! 
You  Jve  seen  him,  and  heard  me  speak  of  him  often, 
you  know" 


"  What !  —  that  odious,  nasty 


"  Hush,  hush  !  "  involuntarily  exclaimed  Tag-rag,  with 
an  apprehensive  air —  "  That  ?s  all  past  and  gone  —  I  was 
always  a  little  too  hard  on  him.  Wrell,  anyhow,  he 's 
turned  up  all  of  a  sudden  master  of  ten  thousand  a-year. 
He  has  indeed  —  may  this  piece  of  toast  choke  me  if 
he  hasn't!" 

Mrs.  Tag-rag  and  her  daughter  sat  in  speechless 
wonder. 

"  Where  did  he  see  Tab,  Taggy  1  "  inquired  at  length 
Mrs.  Tag-rag. 

"Oh  —  I  —  I  —  why  —  you  see  —  I  don 't  exactly 
think  that  signifies  so  much  — he  will  see  her,  you  know, 
next  Sunday." 

"  So,  then,  he  's  positively  coming  1 "  inquired  Mrs.  Tag- 
rag,  with  a  fluttered  air. 

"  Y  —  e  — s  —  I  've  no  doubt."  —  (I  '11  discharge  Lute- 
string to-morrow,  thought  Tag-rag,  with  a  sharp  inward 
spasm.) 

"  But  are  n't  we  counting  our  chickens,  Taggy,  before 
they  're  hatched  ?  If  Titmouse  is  all  of  a  sudden  become 
such  a  catch,  he  '11  be  snapped  up  in  a  minute,  you  know, 
of  course  " 

"  Why,  you  see,  Dolly  —  we  're  first  in  the  market, 
I  'm  sure  of  that  —  his  attorney  tells  me  he  's  to  be  kept. 


TEX    THOUSAND    A-YEAK.  201 

quite  Bnug  and  quiet  under  my  care  for  months,  and  see 
DO   one  " 

••  Mv  gracious!"  exclaimed  Mrs.  Tag-rag,  holding  up 
both  her  hands  — "  if  that  don't  look  like  a  special  inter- 
position o(  Providence,  now  " 

BSo  1  thought,  Tabby,  while  Mr.  Gammon  was  telling 
me  !  "  replied  her  husband. 

••Ah.  Tag  there  are  many  of  'em,  if  we  were  only  to  be 
on  the  look-out  for  them  !  "  said  Mrs.  Tag-rag,  excitedly. 

'*I  do  see  it  all!  It's  designed  by  Providence  to  get 
them  soon  together!  When  once  Mr.  Titmouse  gets 
sight  of  Tabby,  and  gets  into  her  company  —  eh  !  Tab, 
lovey  !  you  7/  do  the  rest,  hem  !  "  said  Tag-rag,  fondly. 

••  La,  pa  !  how  you  do  go  on  !  "  simpered  Miss  Tag-rag. 

"You  must  do  your  part,  Tab,"  said  her  father  — 
'•  we  '11  do  ours.  He  '11  bite,  you  may  depend  on  it,  if  you 
manage  well ! " 

••  What  sort  of  a  looking  young  man  is  he,  dear  pa?" 
inquired  Miss  Tag-rag,  blushing,  and  her  heart  fluttering 
very  fast. 

u  Oh,  you  must  have  seen  him,  sweetest  " 

••  1  low  should  I  ever  notice  any  one  of  the  lots  of  young- 
men  at  the  shop,  pa  "(  —  I  don't  at  all  know  him." 

"  Well  —  he  's  the  handsomest,  most  genteel-looking 
g  fellow  I  ever  came  across;  he's  long  been  an 
ornament  to  my  establishment,  for  his  good  looks  and 
civil  and  obliging  manners  —  quite  a  treasure!  You 
should  have  seen  how  he  took  with  the  ladies  of  rank 
always  !  " 

"  Dear   me,"   interrupted  Mrs.   Tag-rag,  anxiously  ad- 

ling  her  daughter,   "I  hope,  Tabby,  that  Miss  Nix 

will  Bend  home  your  lilac-colored  frock  by  next  Sunday!  " 

"If  she  don't,  ma,  I  '11  take  care  she  never  makes  anv- 
more   for   me,   that 's   poz  ! "  replied   Miss  Tag-rag, 
earnestly. 


202  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAK. 

"  We  '11  call  there  to-morrow,  love,  and  hurry  her  on," 
said  her  mother ;  and  from  that  moment  until  eleven 
o'clock,  when  the  amiable  and  interesting  trio  retired  to 
rest,  nothing  was  talked  of  but  the  charming  Titmouse, 
and  the  good  fortune  he  so  richly  deserved,  and  how  long 
the  courtship  was  likely  to  last.  Mrs.  Tag-rag,  who,  for 
the  last  month  or  so,  had  always  remained  on  her  knees 
before  getting  into  bed,  for  at  least  ten  minutes,  on  this 
eventful  evening  compressed  her  prayers,  I  regret  to  say, 
into  one  minute  and  a  half's  time,  (as  for  Tag-rag,  a  hard- 
ened heathen,  for  all  he  had  taken  to  hearing  Mr.  Horror, 
he  always  tumbled  prayerless  into  bed,  the  moment  he 
was  undressed ;)  while,  for  once  in  a  way,  Miss  Tag-rag, 
having  taken  only  five  minutes  to  put  her  hair  into  pa- 
pers, popped  into  bed  directly  she  had  blown  the  candle 
out,  without  saying  any  prayers  —  or  even  thinking  of 
finishing  the  novel  which  lay  under  her  pillow,  and  which 
she  had  got  on  the  sly  from  the  circulating  library  of  the 
late  Miss  Snooks.  For  several  hours  she  lay  in  a  deli- 
cious revery,  imagining  herself  become  Mrs.  Tittlebat 
Titmouse,  riding  about  Clapham  in  a  handsome  carriage, 
going  to  the  play  every  night ;  and  what  would  the  three 
Miss  Knippses  say  when  they  heard  of  it  1  —  they  'd  burst. 
And  such  a  handsome  man,  too  ! 

She  sank,  at  length,  into  unconsciousness,  amid  a  soft 
confusion  of  glistening  white  satin  —  favors — bridesmaids 
—  Mrs.  Tittlebat  Tit  —  Tit  —  Tit  —  Tit  —  mouse. 

Titmouse,  about  half-past  nine  o'clock  on  the  ensuing- 
morning,  was  sitting  in  his  little  room  in  a  somewhat 
troubled  humor,  musing  on  many  things,  and  little  im- 
agining the  intense  interest  he  had  excited  in  the  feelings 
of  the  amiable  occupants  of  Satin  Lodge,  when  a  knock  at 
his  door  startled  him  out  of  his  revery.  Guess  his  amaze- 
ment to  see,  on  opening  it,  Mr.  Tag-rag !  ( 

"  Your  most  obedient,  sir,"  commenced  that  gentleman, 


TEN   THOUSAND   A-Vi:  \k.  203 

in  a  Bubdued  and  obsequious  manner,  plucking  off  his  hat 

the  instant  that  he  saw  Titmouse.  "  I  hope  you're  better, 
sir!  —  Been  very  uneasy,  sir,  about  you." 

••  Please  to  walk  in,  sir,"  replied  Titmouse,  not  a  little 
flustered  —  "I'm  better,  sir,  thank  you." 

"Happy  to  hear  it,  sir/ — But  am  also  come  to  offer 

humble  apologies  for  the  rudeness  of  that   upstart  that 

30  rude  to  you  yesterday,  at  my  premises  —  know 

whom  I  mean,  eh  I — Lutestring — I  shall  get  rid  of  him, 

I  do  think" 

"Thank  you,  sir But  —  but  —  when  I  was  in  your 

employ  n 

••  Wtu  in  my  employ  !  "  interrupted  Tag-rag,  with  a  sigh, 
gazing  earnestly  at  him  —  "It's  no  use  trying  to  hide  it 
any  longer]  I've  all  along  seen  you  was  a  world  too 
for  —  in  faet,  quite  above  your  situation  in  my  poor 
shop!  I  may  have  been  wrong,  Mr.  Titmouse,"  he  con- 
tinued diffidently,  as  he  placed  himself  on  what  seemed 
the  only  chair  in  the  room,  (Titmouse  sitting  on  a  com- 
mon wooden  stool)  —  "  but  I  did  it  for  the  best  —  eh  1  — 
don't  you  understand  me,  Mr.  Titmouse]"  Titmouse 
continued  looking  on  the  floor  incredulously,  sheepishly, 
and  somewhat  sullenly. 

••Wry  much  obliged,  sir,"  at  length  he  answered  — 
u  but  must  say  you  've  rather  a  funny  way  of  showing 
it.  sir.  Look  at  the  sort  of  life  you've  led  me  for 
this" 

■•  Ah  !  knew  you  M  say  so  !  But  I  can  lay  my  hand  on 
my  heart,  Mr.  Titmouse,  and  declare  to  God  —  I  can,  in- 
deed, Mr.  Titmouse" Titmouse  preserved  a  very  em- 
burr,  oce.  —  •■  See  I  'm  out  of  your  good  books  — 
But — won't  you  forget  and  forgive,  Mr.  Titmouse1?  I 
I  well.  Nay,  I  humbly  beg  forgiveness  for  every- 
thing you've  not  liked  in  me.  Can  I  say  more?  Come, 
Mr.  Titmouse,  you  've  a  noble  nature,  and  I  ask  forgive- 


204  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

ness ! "  cried  Tag-rag,  softly  and  earnestly  :  you  would 
have  thought  that  his  life  depended  on  his  success  in 
what  he  was  doing ! 

"  You  —  you  ought  to  do  it  before  the  whole  shop,  if 
you're  in  earnest,"  replied  Titmouse,  a  little  relenting  — 
"  for  they  've  all  seen  your  goings  on." 

"  Them  !  —  the  brutes  !  —  the  vulgar  fellows,  eugh  !  — 
you  and  I,  Mr.  Titmouse,  are  a  leetle  above  such  cattle  as 
them  !  D'  ye  think  we  ought  to  mind  what  servants  say  1 
—  Only  you  say  the  word,  and  I  make  a  clean  sweep  of 
'em  all ;  you  shall  have  the  premises  to  yourself,  Mr. 
Titmouse,  within  an  hour  after  any  of  those  chaps  shows 
you  the  least  glimmer  of  disrespect." 

"Ah!  I  don't  know  —  you've  used  me  most  uncom- 
mon bad,  'pon  my  soul  !  —  far  worse  than  they  have  — 
you  've  nearly  broke  my  heart,  sir  !     You  have  !  " 

"  Well,  my  womankind  at  home  are  right,  after  all ! 
They  told  me  all  along  I  was  going  the  wrong  way  to 
work,  when  I  said  how  I  tried  to  keep  your  pride  down, 
and  prevent  you  from  having  your  head  turned  by  know- 
ing your  good  looks  !  Over  and  over  again,  my  little  girl 
has  said,  with  tears  in  her  dear  eyes,  'you'll  break  his 
spirit,  dear  papa  —  if  he  is  handsome,  was  n't  it  God  that 
made  him  so ? '"  The  little  frostwork  which  Titmouse 
had  thrown  around  his  heart,  began  to  melt  like  snow 
under  sunbeams.  "  Ah,  Mr.  Titmouse,  Mr.  Titmouse ! 
the  women  are  always  right,  and  we're  always  wrong," 
continued  Tag-rag,  earnestly,  perceiving  his  advantage. 
"  Upon  my  soul  I  could  kick  myself  for  my  stupidity, 
and  cruelty  too  !  " 

"  Ah,  I  should  think  so !  No  one  knows  what  I  've 
suffered!  And  now,"  added  Titmouse,  suddenly,  "that 
I  'm  —  I  suppose  you  've  heard  it  all,  sir  1  —  what 's  in 
the  wind  —  and  all  that1?" 

"  Yes,  sir  —  Mr.  Gammon  (that  most  respectable  gen- 


TEX    THOUSAND    A-YEAR.  205 

tleman)  and  I  have  had  a  long  talk  yesterday  about  you, 
in  which  he  did  certainly  tell  me  everything  —  nothing 
like  confidence,  Mr.  Titmouse,  when  gentleman  meets 
gentleman,  you  know  !  Oh,  Lord  !  the  news  is  really 
delightful  :  delightful:  " 

••  h  n't  it,  sir  |"  eagerly  interrupted  Titmouse,  his  eyes 
glistening  with  sudden  rapture. 

•'Ah  !  ten  thous  —  I  must  shake  hands  with  you,  my 
dear  Mr.  Titmouse;"  quoth  Tag-rag,  with  affectionate 
excitement  —  and,  for  the  first  time  in  their  lives,  their 
hands  touched,  Tag-rag  squeezing  that  of  Titmouse  with 
energetic  cordiality  ;  while  he  added,  with  a  little  emotion 
in  his  tone  —  "  Thomas  Tag-rag  may  be  a  plain-spoken 
and  wrong-headed  man,  Mr.  Titmouse  —  but  he  's  a  warm 
heart,  I  assure  you  !  " 

"And  did  Mr.  Gammon  tell  you  all,  sir]"  eagerly  in- 
terrupted Titmouse. 

"Everything  —  everything;  quite  confidential,  I  assure 
you,  for  he  saw  the  interest  I  felt  in  you  !  " 

"And  did  he  say  about  my  —  hem!  —  eh?  my  stop- 
ping a  few  weeks  longer  with  you  ] "  inquired  Titmouse, 
chagrin  overspreading  his  features. 

"  I  think  he  did,  indeed,  Mr.  Titmouse  !  He  's  quite 
bent  on  it,  sir  !  And  so  would  any  true  friend  of  yours 
be  —  because  you  see  !  "  —  here  he  dropped  his  voice,  and 
looked  very  mysteriously  at  Titmouse  —  "  in  short  I  quite 
agree  with  Mr.  Gammon  !  " 

"  Do  you  indeed,  sir]"  exclaimed  Titmouse,  with  rather 
an  uneasy  look. 

"  I  do,  i'  faith  !  Why,  they  'd  give  thousands  and  thou- 
sands to  get  you  out  of  the  way  —  and  what 's  money  to 
them  ?  But  they  must  look  very  sharp  that  get  at  you  in 
the  premises  of  Thomas  Tag-rag,  I  warrant  'em  !  —  Talk- 
ing of  that,  ah,  ha  !  —  it  will  be  a  funny  thing  to  see  you, 
Mr.  Titmouse  —  Squire  Titmouse  —  ah,  ha,  ha  !  " 


206  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

"  You  won't  hardly  expect  me  to  go  out  with  goods,  I 
suppose,  sir  1 "  inquired  Titmouse,  somewhat  anxiously. 

"  Ha,  ha,  ha !  —  Ha,  ha,  ha  !  —  Might  as  well  ask  me  if 
I  'd  clean  that  beast  Lutestring's  shoes  !  No,  no,  my  dear 
Mr.  Titmouse,  you  and  I  have  done  with  each  other  as 
master  and  servant ;  it 's  only  as  friends  that  we  know 
each  other  now  !  —  You  may  say  and  do  whatever  you 
like,  and  come  and  go  when  and  where  you  like  !  —  It  's 
true  it  will  make  my  other  hands  rather  jealous,  and  get 
me  into  trouble  ;  but  what  do  I  care  1  Suppose  they  do 
all  give  me  warning  for  your  sake  1  Let  'em  go,  say  I  ! " 
He  snapped  his  fingers  with  an  air  of  defiance.  "  Your 
looks  and  manners  would  keep  a  shop  full  of  customers  — 
one  Titmouse  is  worth  a  hundred  of  them." 

11  Ton  my  soul,  you  speak  most  uncommon  gentleman- 
like, sir,  certainly  ! "  said  Titmouse,  with  a  little  excite- 
ment —  "  and  if  you  'd  only  always  —  but  that 's  all  past 
and  gone  ;  and  I  've  no  objections  to  say  at  once,  that  all 
the  articles  I  may  want  in  your  line  I  '11  have  at  your 
establishment,  pay  cash  down,  and  ask  for  no  discount. 
And  I  '11  send  all  my  friends,  for,  in  course,  sir,  you  know 
I  shall  have  lots  of  them  ! " 

11  Don't  forget  your  oldest,  your  truest,  your  humblest 
friend,  Mr.  Titmouse,"  said  Tag-rag,  with  a  cringing 
air. 

"  That  I  won't ! "  replied  Titmouse,  heatedly. 

[It  flashed  across  his  mind  that  a  true  and  old  friend 
would  be  only  too  happy  to  do  him  some  such  trifling  ser- 
vice as  to  lend  him  a  ten-pound  note.] 

"  Hem  !  —  Now,  are  you  such  a  friend,  Mr.  Tag-rag  1 " 
cried  he,  sheepishly. 

"  Am  1 1  —  Can  you  doubt  me  1  Try  me  !  See  what 
I  would  not  do  for  you !  Friend,  indeed !  "  and  he  looked 
quite  fondly  at  Titmouse. 

"  Well,  I  believe  you,  sir  !     And  the  fact  is,  a  —  a  —  a 


TEN    THOUSAND    A-YEAE.  207 

—  you  see,  Mr.  Tag-rag,  though  all  this  heap  of  money  's 
coming  to  me,  I  'm  precious  low  just  tiow" 

"Ye  —  e — e  —  s.  Mr.  Titmouse,"  quoth  Tag-rag,  anx- 
iously ;    his    dull    gray  eye    fixed    on    that    of  Titmouse 

steadfastly. 

"Well  —  if  you've  a  mind  to  prove  your  words,  Mr. 
Tag-rag,  and  don't  mind  advancing  me  a  ten-pound 
note  " 

"Hem!"  involuntarily  uttered  Tag-rag,  so  suddenly 
and  violently,  that  it  made  Titmouse  start.  Then  Tag- 
r  _"-  face  Hushed  over;  he  twirled  about  his  watch-key 
rapidly,  and  wriggled  about  in  his  chair  with  visible 
agitation. 

"  Oh,  you  are  n't  going  to  do  it  !  If  so,  you  'd  better 
say  it  at  once,"  quoth  Titmouse,  rather  cavalierly. 

"Why  —  was  ever  anything  so  unfortunate'?"  stam- 
mered Tag-rag.  "  That  cursed  lot  of  French  goods  I 
bought  only  yesterday,  to  be  paid  for  this  very  morning 

—  and  it   will  drain  me  of  every  penny!" 

"Ah  —  yes!  True!  Well,  it  don't  much  signify,"  said 
Titmouse,  carelessly,  running  his  hand  through  his  bushy 
hair.  "In  fact,  I  needn't  have  bothered  an  old  friend 
at  all,  now  I  think  of  it  —  Mr.  Gammon  says  he's  my 
banker  to  any  amount.     I  beg  pardon,  I  'm  sure" 

Tag-rag  was  in  a  horrid  dilemma.  He  felt  so  flustered 
by  the  suddenness  and  seriousness  of  the  thing,  that  he 
could  not  see  his  way  plain  in  any  direction. 

"  Let  me  see,"  at  length  he  stammered  ;  and  pulling  a 
ready-reckoner  out  of  his  pocket,  he  affected  to  be  con- 
sulting it,  as  if  to  ascertain  merely  the  state  of  his  bank- 
er's account,  but  really  desiring  a  few  moments'  time  to 
collect  his  thoughts.  'T  was  in  vain,  however;  nothing 
occurred  to  him;  he  saw  no  way  of  escape;  his  old  friend 
the  devil  deserted  him  for  a  moment  —  supplying  him 
witli  no  ready  lie  to  meet  the  exigency.     He  must,  he 


208  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

feared,  cash  up !  "Well,"  said  he  —  "it  certainly  is  rather 
unfortunate,  just  at  this  precise  moment ;  but  I  '11  step  to 
the  shop,  and  see  how  my  ready-money  matters  stand. 
It  shaVt  be  a  trifle,  Mr.  Titmouse,  that  shall  stand  be- 
tween us.  But  —  if  I  should  be  hard  run  —  perhaps  — 
eh  1     Would  a  five-pound  note  do  1  " 

"  Why  —  a  —  a  —  certainly,  if  it  would  n't  suit  you  to 
advance  the  ten  " 

"  I  dare  say,"  interrupted  Tag-rag,  a  trifle  relieved,  "  I 
shall  be  able  to  accommodate  you  so  far.  Perhaps  you  '11 
step  on  to  the  shop  presently,  and  then  we  can  talk  over 
matters!  —  By  the  way,  did  you  ever  see  anything  so  odd  1 
forgot  the  main  thing  !  Do  come  and  take  your  mutton 
with  me  at  Clapham  next  Sunday  —  my  womankind 
will  be  quite  delighted.  Nay,  't  is  their  invitation  — 
ha,  ha !  " 

"You're  uncommon  polite,"  replied  Titmouse,  coloring 
with  pleasure.  Here  seemed  the  first  pale  primrose  of 
the  coming  spring  —  an  invitation  to  Satin  Lodge  ! 

"  The  politeness  —  the  favor  —  will  be  yours,  Mr.  Tit- 
mouse !  I  'm  uncommon  proud  of  your  coming  !  We 
shall  be  quite  alone !  have  you  all  to  ourselves ;  only 
me,  my  wife,  and  daughter  —  an  only  child,  Mr.  Tit- 
mouse —  such  a  child  !     She  's  really  often  said  to  me, 

'  I    wonder  '  —  but, I    won't    make    you   vain,    eh  1 

Shall  I  call  it  a  fixture  1  " 

"  'Pon  my  life,  Mr.  Tag-rag,  you  're  monstrous  un- 
common polite.  It 's  true,  I  was  going  to  dine  with 
Mr.  Gammon  " 

"  Oh  !  pho  !  (I  mean  no  disrespect,  mind  !)  he 's  only 
a  bachelor  —  I've  got  ladies  in  the  case,  and  all  that  — 
eh,  Mr.  Titmouse  1  and  a  young  one  !  " 

"Well,  thank  you,  sir.     Since  you're  so  pressing" 

"  That 's  it !  An  engagement,  poz  !  —  Satin  Lodge  — 
for  Sunday  next,"  said  Tag-rag,  rising  and  looking  at  his 


TEN    THOUSAND   A- YEAR  209 

watch.  "Time  for  me  to  bo  off.  See  you  soon  at  the 
shop?  Soon  arrange  that  little  matter  of  business,  ehl 
You  understand  1  Good-by!  good-by!"  and  shaking  Tit- 
mouse cordially  by  the  hand.  Tag-rag  took  his  departure. 
As  he  hurried  on  to  his  shop,  be  felt  in  a  most  painful 
perplexity  about  this  loan  of  five  pounds.  It  was  truly 
like  squeezing  five  drops  of  blood  out  of  his  heart. 
But  what  was  to  be  done?  Could  he  offend  Titmouse? 
Where  was  he  to  stop,  if  he  once  began  ?  Dare  he  ask 
for  security?  Suppose  the  whole  affair  should  after  all 
turn  into  smoke  I 

Now,  consider  the  f«»lly  of  Tag-rag.  Here  was  he  in 
all  this  terrible  pucker  about  advancing  five  pounds  on 
the  strength  of  prospects  and  chances  which  he  had 
deemed  safe  for  adventuring  his  daughter  upon  —  her, 
the  only  object  on  earth,  except  money,  that  he  regarded 
with  anything  like  sincere  affection.  How  was  tins'? 
The  Bplendor  of  the  future  possible  good  fortune  of  his 
daughter,  might,  perhaps,  have  dazzled  and  confused  his 
perceptions.  Then,  again,  that  was  a  remote  contingent 
venture  ;  but  this  sudden  appeal  to  his  pocket  —  the  de- 
mand of  an  immediate  outlay  and  venture  —  was  an 
instant  pressure,  and  he  felt  it  severely.  Immediate 
profit  was  everything  to  Tag-rag — 'twas  his  very  life's 
blood  !  He  was,  in  truth,  a  tradesman  to  his  heart's  core. 
If  he  could  have  seen  the  immediate  quid  ]iro  quo,  or 
could,  at  all  events,  have  got,  if  only  by  way  of  earnest, 
as  it  were,  a  bit  of  poor  Titmouse's  heart,  and  locked  it 
up  in  his  desk,  he  would  not  have  cared  so  much  ;  it 
would  have  been  a  little  in  his  line ;  —  but  here  was  a 
Five-Pound  Xute  going  out  forthwith,  and  nothing  imme- 
visible,  palpable,  replacing  it.  Oh  !  Titmouse  had 
nsciously  pulled  Tag-rag's  very  heart-string- ! 

rve,   discriminating  reader,    that   there   is  all  the 
difference  in  the  world  between  a  Tradesman  and  a  Mer- 
vol.  i. —  u 


210  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

chant  ;  and,  moreover,  that  it  is  not  every  tradesman  that 
is  a  Tag-rag. 

All  these  considerations  combined  to  keep  Tag-rag  in  a 
perfect  fever  of  doubt  and  anxiety,  which  several  hearty 
curses  (I  regret  to  say)  failed  in  effectually  relieving. 
By  the  time,  however,  that  Titmouse  had  made  his  ap- 
pearance at  Mr.  Tag-rag's  shop,  with  a  sufficiently  sheep- 
ish air,  and  was  beginning  to  run  the  gantlet  of  grinning 
contempt  from  the  "  gents  "  on  each  side  of  the  shop,  Tag- 
rag  had  determined  on  the  course  he  should  pursue  in 
the  very  embarrassing  matter  above  referred  to.  To  the 
inexpressible  amazement  of  all  present,  he  bolted  out  of  a 
little  counting-house  or  side-room,  hastened  to  meet  Tit- 
mouse with  outstretched  hand  and  cordial  speech,  drew 
him  into  his  little  room,  and  shut  the  door.  There  Tag- 
rag  informed  his  flurried  young  friend  that  he  had  made 
arrangements  (with  a  little  inconvenience,  which,  how- 
ever, between  friends,  signified  nothing)  for  lending  Tit- 
mouse five  pounds. 

"  And,  as  life  's  uncertain,  my  dear  Mr.  Titmouse,"  said 
Tag-rag,  as  Titmouse,  with  ill-disguised  ecstasy,  put  the 
five-pound  note  into  his  pocket  —  "  even  between  the 
dearest  friends  —  eh  1  Understand  %  It 's  not  you  I 
fear,  nor  you  me,  because  we  've  confidence  in  each  other. 
But  if  anything  should   happen,  those  we  leave  behind 

us  " Here  he  took  out  of  his  desk    an  "  I.  0.  U.  £5," 

ready  drawn  up  and  dated  —  "a  mere  slip —  a  word  or 
two — is  satisfaction  to  both  of  us." 

"  Oh  yes,  sir  !  yes,  sir !  —  anything !  "  said  Titmouse ;  and 
hastily  taking  the  pen  proffered  him,  signed  his  name,  on 
which  Tag-rag  felt  a  little  relieved.  Lutestring  was  then 
summoned  into  the  room,  and  thus  (not  a  little  to  his  dis- 
gust and  astonishment)  addressed  by  his  imperious  em- 
ployer :  "  Mr.  Lutestring,  you  will  have  the  goodness  to 
see  that  Mr.  Titmouse,  while  he  may  do  me  the  honor  to 


TEN   THOUSAND    A-YEAR.  211 

condescend  to  be  here,  is  treated  by  every  person  in  my 
establishment  with  the  utmost  possible  respect.  Whoever 
treats  this  gentleman  with  the  slightest  disrespect  isn't 
any  longer  a  servant  of  mine.  D'ye  hear  me,  Mr. 
Lutestring  ?*'  added  Tag-rag.  sternly,  observing  a  very 
significant  glance  of  mingled  hatred  and  wonder  which 
Lutestring  directed  towards  Titmouse.  "  IV  ye  hear 
me.   sir  ?  " 

"  i  Mi.  yes.  sir  !  yes.  sir !  your  orders  shall  be  attended  to," 
he  replied  in  as  insolent  a  tone  as  he  could  venture  upon, 
leaving  the  room  with  a  half  audible  whistle  of  contempt, 
while  a  grin  overspread  his  features.  Within  five  min- 
utes he  had  filled  the  mind  of  every  shopman  in  the 
establishment  with  feelings  of  mingled  wonder,  hatred, 
and  tear  towards  Titmouse.  What,  thought  they,  could 
have  happened  1  What  was  Mr.  Tag-rag  about  1  This 
was  all  of  a  piece  with  his  rage  at  Lutestring  the  day 
before.  "Cuss  Titmouse!  and  Tag-rag  too!"  said  or 
thought  every  one  of  them  ! 

Titmouse,  for  the  remainder  of  the  day,  felt,  as  may  be 
imagined,  but  little  at  his  ease  ;  for  —  to  say  nothing  of 
his  insuperable  repugnance  to  the  discharge  of  any  of  his 
former  duties  —  his  uneasiness  under  the  oppressive  civ- 
ilities of  Mr.  Tag-rag;  and  the  evident  disgust  towards 
him  entertained  by  his  companions;  many  most  impor- 
tant considerations  arising  out  of  recent  and  coming 
events  —  his  altering  circumstances  —  were  momentarily 
forcing  themselves  upon  his  attention.  The  first  of  these 
was  his  hair;  for  Heaven  seemed  to  have  suddenly  given 
him  the  long-coveted  means  of  changing  its  detested  hue; 
and  the  next  was  on  eyeglass,  without  which,  he  had  long 
felt  his  appearance  and  appointments  to  be  painfully  in- 
complete. Early  in  the  afternoon,  therefore,  on  the 
readily  admitted  plea  of  important  business,  lie  obtained 
the  permission  of  the  obsequious  Mr.  Tag-rag  to  depart 


212  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

for  the  day ;  and  instantly  directed  his  steps  to  the  well- 
known  shop  of  a  fashionable  perfumer  and  perruquier,  in 
Bond  Street  —  well-known  to  those,  at  least,  who  were  in 
the  habit  of  glancing  at  the  enticing  advertisements  in  the 
newspapers.  Having  watched  through  the  window  till 
the  coast  was  clear,  (lor  he  felt  a  natural  delicacy  in  ask- 
ing for  a  hair-dye  before  people  who  could  in  an  instant 
perceive  his  urgent  occasion  for  it,)  he  entered  the  shop, 
where  a  well-dressed  gentleman  was  sitting  behind  the 
counter  reading.  He  was  handsome  ;  and  his  elaborately 
curled  hair  was  of  a  heavenly  black  (so  at  least  Titmouse 
considered  it)  which  was  better  than  a  thousand  printed 
advertisements  of  the  celebrated  fluid  which  formed  the 
chief  commodity  there  vended.  Titmouse  with  a  little 
hesitation,  asked  this  gentleman  what  was  the  price  of 
their  article  "  for  turning  light  hair  black  "  —  and  was 
answered  —  "  only  seven  and  sixpence  for  the  smaller- 
sized  bottle."  One  was  in  a  twinkling  placed  upon  the 
counter,  where.it  lay  like  a  miniature  mummy,  swathed, 
as  it  were,  in  manifold  advertisements.  "  You  '11  find  the 
fullest  directions  within,  and  testimonials  from  the  highest 
nobility  to  the  wonderful  efficacy  of  the  '  Cyanochaitan- 
thropopoion.'  " 12 

"  Su?'e  it  will  do,  sir  ] "  inquired  Titmouse,  anxiously. 

"  Is  my  hair  dark  enough  to  your  taste,  sir  1"  said  the 
gentleman,  with  a  calm  and  bland  manner  —  "  because  I 
owe  it  entirely  to  this  invaluable  specific." 

"  Do  you,  indeed,  sir  1 "  inquired  Titmouse :  adding 
with  a  sigh,  "  but,  between  ourselves,  look  at  mine  !  "  — 
and,  lifting  off  his  hat  for  a  moment,  he  exhibited  a  great 
crop  of  bushy,  carroty  hair. 

"  Whew  !  rather  ugly  that,  sir  !  "  —  exclaimed  the  gen- 
tleman, looking  very  serious  —  "  What  a  curse  it  is  to  be 
born  with  such  hair,  is  n't  it  1 " 

" '  Pon  my  life  I  think  so,  sir  !  "   answered  Titmouse, 


TEN    THOUSAND    A-YEAR.  213 

mournfully  ;   "and  do  you  really  say.  sir.  that  this  what's- 
its-name  turned  yours  of  that  beautiful  black  \" 

'•  Think  \  'Pon  my  honor,  sir,  —  certain  ;  do  mistake, 
1  assure  you  !  1  was  fretting  myself  into  my  grave  about 
the  cuIt  of  my  hair!  Why,  sir,  there  was  a  nobleman 
in  here  (I  don't  like  to  mention  names)  the  other  day, 
with  a  head  that  seemed  as  if  it  had  been  dipped  into 
water,  and  then  powdered  with  brick-dust  ;  but — I  as- 
sure you,  the  Cyanochaitanthropopoion  was  too  much  for 
it  —  it  turned  black  in  a  very  short  time.  You  should 
have  seen  his  lordship's  ecstasy  —  [the  speaker  saw  that 
Titmouse  would  swallow'  anything;  so  he  went  on  with  a 
confident  air]  —  and  in  a  month's  time  he  had  married  a 
beautiful  woman  whom  he  had  loved  from  a  child,  but 
who  had  vowed  she  could  never  bring  herself  to  marry 
a  man  with  such  a  head  of  hair." 

11  How  long  does  it  take  to  do  all  this,  sir  ? "  interrupted 
Titmouse,  eagerly,  with  a  beating  heart. 

"  Sometimes  two  —  sometimes  three  days.  In  four 
days'  time,  I  '11  answer  for  it,  your  most  intimate  friend 
would  not  know  you.  My  wife  did  not  know  me  for  a 
long  wdrile,  and  wouldn't  let  me  salute  her  —  ha,  ha  !  " 
Here  another  customer  entered ;  and  Titmouse,  laying 
down  the  five-pound  note  he  had  squeezed  out  of  Tag- 
rag,  put  the  wonder-working  bottle  into  his  pocket,  and 
on  receiving  his  change,  departed,  bursting  with  eager- 
ness to  try  the  effects  of  the  Cyanochaitanthropopoion. 
Within. Tiiilf  an  hour's  time  he  might  have  been  seen 
driving  a  hard  bargain  with  a  pawnbroker  for  a  massive- 
looking  eyeglass,  upon  which,  as  it  hung  suspended  in 
the  window,  he  had  for  months  cast  a  longing  eye;  and 
he  eventually  purchased  it  (his  eyesight,  I  need  hardly 
say,  was  perfect)  for  only  fifteen  shillings.  After  taking 
a  hearty  dinner  in  a  little  dusky  eating  house  in  Rupert 
.  frequented  by  fashionable-looking  foreigners,  with 


214  TEN    THOUSAND   A- YEAR, 

splendid  heads  of  curling  hair  and  mustaches,  he  hastened 
home,  eager  to  commence  the  grand  experiment.  For- 
tunately, he  was  undisturbed  that  evening.  Having  lit 
his  candle,  and  locked  his  door,  with  tremulous  fingers  he 
opened  the  papers  enveloping  the  little  bottle;  and  glanc- 
ing over  their  contents,  got  so  inflamed  with  the  number- 
less instances  of  its  efficacy,  detailed  in  brief  but  glowing 

terms  —  as  —  the  "Duke  of —  the  Countess  of 

—  the  Earl  of,   &c.  &c.  &c.  &c.  —  the  lovely 

Miss ,  the  celebrated  Sir  Little  Bull's-eye,  (who 

was  so  gratified  that  he  allowed  his  name  to  be  used)  — 
all  of  whom,  from  having  hair  of  the  reddest  possible  de- 
scription, were  now  possessed  of  raven-hued  locks"  —  that 
he  threw  down  the  paper,  and  hurriedly  got  the  cork  out 
of  the  bottle.  Having  turned  up  his  coat-cuffs,  he  com- 
menced the  application  of  the  Cyanochaitanthropopoion, 
rubbing  it  into  his  hair,  eyebrows,  and  whiskers,  with  all 
the  energy  he  was  capable  of,  for  upwards  of  half  an  hour. 
Then  he  read  over  again  every  syllable,  on  the  papers  in 
which  the  bottle  had  been  wrapped  ;  and  about  eleven 
o'clock,  having  given  sundry  curious  glances  at  the  glass, 
got  into  bed,  full  of  exciting  hopes  and  delightful  anxie- 
ties concerning  the  success  of  the  great  experiment  he 
was  trying.  He  could  not  sleep  for  several  hours.  He 
dreamed  a  rapturous  dream  —  that  he  bowed  to  a  gentle- 
man with  coal-black  hair,  whom  he  fancied  he  had  seen 
before  —  and  suddenly  discovered  that  he  was  only  look- 
ing at  himself  in  a  glass  !  !  —  This  awoke  him.  Up  he 
jumped  —  sprang  to  his  little  glass  breathlessly — but  ah  ! 
merciful  Heavens  !  he  almost  dropped  down  dead  !  His 
hair  was  perfectly  green  —  there  could  be  no  mistake 
about  it.  He  stood  staring  in  the  glass  in  speechless 
horror,  his  eyes  and  mouth  distended  to  their  utmost, 
for  several  minutes.  Then  he  threw  himself  on  the 
bed,  and  felt  fainting.     Out  he  presently  jumped  again, 


TEX   THOUSAND   A-YEAlt.  215 

in  a  kind  o(  ecstasy- — nibbed  his  hair  desperately  and 
wildly  about  —  again  looked  into  the  glass  —  there  it  was, 
rougher  than  before  ;  but  eyebrows,  whiskers,  and  head  — 
all  were,  if  anything,  of  a  more  vivid  and  brilliant  green. 
Despair  came  over  him.  What  had  all  his  past  troubles 
been  to  this?  —  what  was  to  become  of  him]  He  got 
into  bed  again,  and  burst  into  a  perspiration.  Two  or 
three  times  he  got  into  and  out  of  bed,  to  look  at  him- 
self—  on  each  occasion  deriving  only  more  terrible  con- 
firmation than  before,  of  the  disaster  which  had  befallen 
him.  After  lying  still  for  some  minutes,  he  got  out  of 
bed,  and  kneeling  down,  tried  to  say  his  prayers  ;  but  it 
was  in  vain  —  and  he  rose  half  choked.  It  was  plain  he 
must  have  his  head  shaved,  and  wear  a  wig,  which  wTould 
be  making  an  old  man  of  him  at  once.  Getting  more 
and  more  disturbed  in  his  mind,  he  dressed  himself,  half 
determined  on  starting  off  to  Bond  Street,  and  break- 
ing every  pane  of  glass  in  the  shop  window  of  the  in- 
fernal impostor  who  had  sold  him  the  liquid  which  had 
so  frightfully  disfigured  him.  As  he  stood  thus  irreso- 
lute, he  heard  the  step  of  Mrs.  Squallop  approaching  his 
door,  and  recollected  that  he  had  ordered  her  to  bring  up 
his  tea-kettle  about  that  time.  Having  no  time  to  take 
his  clothes  off,  he  thought  the  best  thing  he  could  do, 
would  be,  to  pop  into  bed  again,  draw  his  nightcap  clown 
to  his  ears  and  eyebrows,  pretend  to  be  asleep,  and,  turn- 
ing his  back  towards  the  door,  have  a  chance  of  escaping 
the  observation  of  his  landlady.  No  sooner  thought  of, 
than  done.  Into  bed  he  jumped,  and  drew  the  clothes 
over  him — not  aware,  however,  that  in  his  hurry  he  had 
left  his  legs,  with  boots  and  trousers  on,  exposed  to  view  — 
an  unusual  spectacle  to  his  landlady,  who  had,  in  fact, 
ily  ever  known  him  in  bed  at  so  late  an  hour  before. 
He  lay  as  still  as  ;i  mouse.  Mrs.  Squallop,  after  glancing 
with  surprise  at  his   legs,  happening  to  direct  her  eyes 


216  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

towards  the  window,  beheld  a  small  bottle  standing  there 
—  only  half  of  whose  dark  contents  were  remaining.  Oh 
gracious  !  —  of  course  it  must  be  poison,  and  Mr.  Titmouse 
must  be  dead  !  —  In  a  sudden  fright  she  dropped  the  ket- 
tle, plucked  the  clothes  off  the  trembling  Titmouse,  and 
cried  out  —  "  Oh,  Mr.  Titmouse  !  Mr.  Titmouse  !  what 
have  you  been  " ■ 

"  Well,  ma'am,  what  the   devil  do  you  mean  1     How 

dare  you  " commenced    Titmouse,    suddenly   sitting 

up,  and  looking  furiously  at  Mrs.  Squallop.  An  incon- 
ceivably strange  and  horrid  figure  he  looked.  He  had  all 
his  day  clothes  on ;  a  white  cotton  nightcap  was  drawn 
down  to  his  very  eyes,  like  a  man  going  to  be  hanged  ; 
his  face  was  very  pale,  and  his  whiskers  were  of  a  bright 
green  color. 

"  Lard  a-mighty !  "  exclaimed  Mrs.  Squallop,  faintly, 
the  moment  that  this  strange  apparition  had  presented 
itself;  and  sinking  on  the  chair,  she  pointed  with  a  dis- 
mayed air  to  the  ominous-looking  object  standing  on 
the  window  shelf.  Titmouse  thence  inferred  that  she 
had  found  out  the  true  state  of  the  case.  "Well  — 
isn't  it  an  infernal  shame,  Mrs.  Squallop]"  said  he,  get- 
ting off  the  bed  ;  and,  plucking  off  his  nightcap,  he  ex- 
hibited the  full  extent  of  his  misfortune.  "What  d'ye 
think  oithat!"  he  exclaimed,  staring  wildly  at  her.  Mrs. 
Squallop  gave  a  faint  shriek,  turned  uer  head  aside,  and 
motioned  him  away. 

"  I  shall  go  mad  —  I  shall  !  "  cried  Titmouse,  tearing 
his  green  hair. 

"  Oh  Lord  !  —  oh  Lord  !  "  groaned  Mrs.  Squallop,  evi- 
dently expecting  him  to  leap  upon  her.  Presently,  how- 
ever, she  a  little  recovered  her  presence  of  mind  ;  and 
Titmouse,  stuttering  with  fury,  explained  to  her  what  had 
taken  place.  As  he  went  on,  Mrs.  Squallop  became  less 
and  less  able  to  control  herself,  and  at  length  burst  into 


TEX    THOUSAND    A-YKAK.  217 

a  fit  of  convulsive  laughter,  and  sat  holding  her  hands  to 
her  fat  shaking  sides,  and  appearing  likely  to  tumble  off 
her  chair.  Tit  mouse  was  almost  on  the  point  of  strik- 
ing her  !  At  length,  however,  the  tit  went  off;  and  wiping 
her  eyes,  she  expressed  the  greatest  commiseration  for 
him,  and  proposed  to  g(^  down  and  fetch  up  some  soft 
■oap  and  flannel,  and  try  what  "a  good  hearty  wash 
would  do."  Scarce  sooner  said  than  done  —  but,  alas, 
in  vain!  Scrub,  scrub  —  lather,  lather,  did  they  both; 
but,  the  instant  that  the  soap-suds  had  been  washed  off, 
there  was   the   head  as  green  as  ever! 

"Oh,  murder,  murder!  what  am  I  to  do,  Mrs.  Squal- 
lop 1"  groaned  Titmouse,  having  taken  another  look  at 
himself  in  the  glass. 

u Why — really  I  'd  be  off  to  a  police-office,  and  have 
'em  all  taken  up,  if  as  how  I  was  you/"  quoth  Mrs. 
Squallop. 

••  No  —  See  if  I  don't  take  that  bottle,  and  make  the 
fellow  that  sold  it  me  swallow  what's  left  —  and  I'll 
smash  in  his  shop  front  besides!" 

"  Oh,  you  won't  —  you  must  n't  —  not  on  no  account  ! 
Stop  at  home  a  bit,  and  be  quiet ;  it  may  go  off  with  all 
this  washing,  in  the  course  of  the  day.  Soft  soap  is  an 
uncommon  strong  thing  for  getting  colors  out  —  but  —  a 
—  a  —  excuse  me  now,  Mr.  Titmouse" — said  Mrs.  Squal- 
lop, seriously  —  "  why  wasn't  you  satisfied  with  the  hair 
God  Almighty  had  given  you  %  D'ye  think  He  didn't 
know  a  deal  better  than  you  what  was  best  for  you]  I'm 
blest  if  I  don't  think  this  is  a  judgment  on  you,  when  one 
come-  toe  insider  !  " 

••  What's  the  use  of  your  standing  preaching  to  me  in 
this  way,  Mrs.  Squallop]"  said  Titmouse,  first  with  amaze- 
ment, and  then  with  fury  in  his  manner — "  A'n't  I  half 
mad  without  it]  Judgment  or  no  judgment  —  where 's 
the  harm  of  my  wanting  black  hair  any  more  than  black 


218  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAK. 

trousers  ?  That  a'n't  your  own  hair,  Mrs.  Squallop  — 
you  're  as  gray  as  a  badger  underneath  —  'pon  my  soul ! 
I've  often  remarked  it — I  have,  'pon  my  soul!" 

"  I  '11  tell  you  what,  Mr.  Himperance !  "  furiously  ex- 
claimed Mrs.  Squallop,  "  you  're  a  liar  !  And  you  de- 
serve what  you  've  got !  It  is  a  judgment,  and  I  hope 
it  will  stick  by  you  —  so  take  that  for  your  sauce,  you 
vulgar  fellow  !  "  (snapping  her  fingers  at  him.)  "  Get  rid 
of  your  green  hair  if  you  can  !  It 's  only  carrot  tops  in- 
stead of  carrot  roots  —  and  some  likes  one,  some  the  other 
—  ha  !  ha  !  ha  !  " 

"111  tell  you  what,  Mrs.   Squ  " he   commenced, 

but  she  had  gone,  having  slammed  to  the  door  behind 
her  with  all  her  force ;  and  Titmouse  wras  left  alone  in 
a  half  frantic  state,  in  which  he  continued  for  nearly  two 
hours.  Once  again  he  read  over  the  atrocious  puffs  which 
had  over-night  inflated  him  to  such  a  degree,  and  he  now 
saw  that  they  were  all  lies.     This  is  a  sample  of  them  : 

"  This  divine  fluid  (as  it  was  enthusiastically  styled  to  the  in- 
ventor, by  the  lovely  Duchess  of  Dunderwhistle)  possesses  the 
inestimable  and  astonishing  quality  of  changing  hair,  of  what- 
ever color,  to  a  dazzling  jet-black  ;  at  the  same  time  imparting 
to  it  a  rich  glossy  appearance,  which  wonderfully  contributes  to 
the  imposing  tout-ensemble  presented  by  those  who  use  it.  That 
well-known  ornament  of  the  circle  of  fashion,  the  young  and 
lovely  Mrs.  Fitzfrippery,  owned  to  the  proprietor  that  to  this 
surprising  fluid  it  was  that  she  was  indebted  for  those  unrivalled 
raven  ringlets  which  attracted  the  eyes  of  envying  and  admiring 
crowds,"  and  so  forth. 

A  little  farther  on  :  — 

"  This  exquisite  effect  is  not  in  all  cases  produced  instantane- 
ously ;  much  will  of  course  depend  (as  the  celebrated  M.  Du- 
puytren,  of  the  Hotel  Dieu,  at  Paris,  informed  the  inventor) 
on  the  physical  idiosyncrasy  of  the  party  using  it,  with  refer- 
ence to  the  constituent  particles  of  the  coloring  matter  con- 


TEX    THOUSAND    A-YKAU.  219 

stituting  the  fluid  in  the  capillary  vessels.  Often  a  Bingle 
application  suffices  to  change  the  most  hopeless-looking  bead 
of  red  hair  to  as  deep  a  Mark  ;  hut,  not  unfrequently,  the  hair 
through  intermediaU  shades  and  tints  —  all,  however,  ul- 
timately settling  into  a  deep  and  permanent  black." 

This  passage  not  a  little  revived  the  drooping  spirits  of 
Titmouse.  Accidentally,  however,  an  asterisk  at  the  last 
word  in  the  above  sentence,  directed  his  eye  to  a  note  at 
the  bottom  of  the  page,  printed  in  such  minute  type  as 
would  have  baffled  any  but  the  strongest  sight  and  most 
determined  eye  to  read,  and  which  said  note  was  the 
following  :  — 

'"Though  cases  </<.>,  undoubtedly,  occasionally  occur,  in  which 
the  native  inherent  indestructible  qualities  of  the  hair  defy 
all  attempts  at  change  or  even  modification,  and  resist  even 
this  potent  remedy  :  of  which,  however,  in  all  his  experience" 
(the  wonderful  specific  has  been  invented  for  about  six  months) 
''  the  inventor  has  known  but  very  few  instances." 

But  to  this  exceedingly  select  class  of  unfortunate  incur- 
ables, poor  Titmouse,  alas  !  entertained  a  dismal  suspicion 
that  he  belonged. 

"  Look,  sir  !  Look  !  Only  look  here  what  your  cussed 
stuff  has  done  to  my  hair !  "  said  Titmouse,  on  presenting 
himself  soon  after  to  the  gentleman  who  had  sold  him  the 
infernal  liquid  ;  and,  taking  off  his  hat,  exposed  his  green 
hair.  The  gentleman,  however,  did  not  appear  at  all 
surprised,  or  discomposed. 

"Ah—  yes  !  I  see  —  I  see.  You  're  in  the  intermedi- 
ate stage.     It  differs  in  different  people" 

"Differs,  sir!  'I'm  going  mad!  I  look  like  a  green 
monkey  —  Cuss  me  if  I  don't !  " 

"  In  //<-,  now,"  replied  the  gentleman,  with  a  matter-of- 
fact  air,  "  the  color  was  a  strong  yellow.  But  have  you 
read  the  explanations  that  are  given  in  the  wrapper] " 

"  Read  'em  ]  "  echoed  Titmouse,  furiously  —  "  I  should 


220  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

think  so  1  Much  good  they  do  me  !  Sir,  you  're  a  hum- 
bug ! —  an  impostor!  I'm  a  sight  to  be  seen  for  the 
rest  of  my  life !  Look  at  me,  sir  !  Eyebrows,  whiskers, 
and  all!" 

"Rather  a  singular  appearance,  just  at  present,  I  must 
own,"  said  the  gentleman,  his  face  turning  suddenly  red 
all  over  with  the  violent  effort  he  was  making  to  pre- 
vent an  explosion  of  laughter.  He  soon,  however,  re- 
covered himself,  and  added  coolly  —  "  If  you  '11  only 
persevere  "  

"  Persevere  be  d d  !  "  interrupted  Titmouse,  vio- 
lently clapping  his  hat  on  his  head,  "  I  '11  teach  you  to 
persevere  in  taking  in  the  public  !  I  '11  have  a  warrant  out 
against  you  in  no  time  !  " 

"  Oh,  my  dear  sir,  I  'm  accustomed  to  all  this  !  "  said 
the  gentleman,  coolly. 

"  The  —  devil  —  you  —  are  !  "  •  gasped  Titmouse,  quite 
aghast. 

"  Oh,  often  —  often,  while  the  liquid  is  performing  the 
first  stage  of  the  change  ;  but,  in  a  day  or  two  afterwards, 
the  parties  generally  come  back  smiling  into  my  shop, 
with  heads  as  black  as  crows !  " 

"No!  But  really  —  do  they,  sir  ?  "  interrupted  Tit- 
mouse, drawing  a  long  breath. 

"  Hundreds,  I  may  say  thousands,  my  dear  sir  !  And 
one  lady  gave  me  a  picture  of  herself,  in  her  black  hair, 
to  make  up  for  her  abuse  of  me  when  it  was  in  a  puce 
color  —  Fact,  honor  !  " 

"  But  do  you  recollect  any  one  's  hair  turning  green, 
and  then  getting  black  %  "  inquired  Titmouse,  with  trem- 
bling anxiety. 

"  Eecollect  any  "?  Fifty  at  least.  For  instance,  there 
was  Lord  Albert  Addlehead  — but  why  should  I  mention 
names  %  I  know  hundreds  !  But  everything  is  honor 
and  confidential  here  !  " 


TEN    THOUSAND    A-YEAK.  221 

"And  did  Lord  what  Vhis-name's  hair  grow  green,  and 
then  black  ;  and  was  it  at  tirst  as  light  as  mine  I  " 

••  His  hair  was  redder,  and  in  consequence  it  became 
greener,    and   now   is   blacker  than   ever  yours  will  be." 

'•  Well,  if  1  and  my  landlady  have  this  morning  used 
an  ounce,  we  've  used  a  quarter  of  a  pound  of  soft  soap 
in  " 

"Soft  soap  !  — soft  soap!  "  cried  out  the  gentleman,  with 
an  air  of  sudden  alarm  —  "That  explains  all,"  (he  forgot 
how  well  it  had  been  already  explained  by  him.)  "By 
Heavens,  sir! — soft  soap!  You  may  have  ruined  your 
hair  forever  ! "  Titmouse  opened  his  eyes  and  mouth 
with  a  start  of  terror,  it  not  occurring  to  his  astute  mind 
that  the  intolerable  green  had  preceded,  not  followed,  the 
:'  the  soft  soap.  "  Go  home,  my  dear  sir  !  God  bless 
you  —  go  home,  as  you  value  your  hair;  take  this  small 
bottle  of  Damascus  Cream,  and  rub  it  in  before  it's  too 

late:  and  then  use  the  remainder  of  the" 

"  Then  you  don't  think  it 's  already  too  late  ?  "  inquired 
Titmouse,  faintly  ;  and,  having  been  assured  to  the  con- 
trary —  having  asked  the  price  of  the  Damascus  cream, 
which  was  "only  three-and-sixpence,"  (stamp  included) 
—  he  purchased  and  paid  for  it  with  a  rueful  air,  and 
took  his  departure.  He  sneaked  homeward  along  the 
streets  with  the  air  of  a  pickpocket,  fearful  that  every  one 
he  met  was  an  officer  wTho  had  his  eye  on  him.  He  was 
not,  in  fact,  very  far  off  the  mark  ;  for  many  a  person 
smiled,  and  stared,  and  turned  round  to  look  at  him  as 
he  went  along. 


222  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAK. 


CHAPTER   VI. 

Titmouse  slunk  up-stairs  to  his  room  in  a  sad  state  of 
depression,  and  spent  the  next  hour  in  rubbing  into  his 
hair  the  Damascus  cream.  He  rubbed  till  he  could  hardly 
hold  his  arms  up  any  longer,  from  sheer  fatigue.  Having 
risen  at  length  to  mark,  from  the  glass,  the  progress  he 
had  made,  he  found  that  the  only  result  of  his  persever- 
ing exertions  had  been  to  give  a  greasy  shining  appear- 
ance to  the  hair,  which  remained  green  as  ever.  With  a 
half-uttered  groan  he  sank  down  upon  a  chair,  and  fell 
into  a  sort  of  abstraction,  which  was  interrupted  by  a 
sharp  knock  at  his  door.  Titmouse  started  up,  trembled, 
and  stood  for  a  moment  or  two  irresolute,  glancing  fear- 
fully at  the  glass  ;  and  then,  opening  the  door,  let  in  — 
Mr.  Gammon,  who  started  back  a  pace  or  two,  as  if  he 
had  been  shot,  on  catching  sight  of  the  strange  figure  of 
Titmouse.  It  was  useless  for  Gammon  to  try  to  check  his 
laughter  ;  so,  leaning  against  the  door-post,  he  yielded  to 
the  impulse,  and  laughed  without  intermission  for  nearly 
a  couple  of  minutes.  Titmouse  felt  desperately  angry, 
but  feared  to  show  it ;  and  the  timid,  rueful,  lackadaisical 
air  with  which  he  regarded  the  dreaded  Mr.  Gammon, 
only  prolonged  and  aggravated  the  agonies  of  that  gentle- 
man. When  at  length  he  had  a  little  recovered  himself, 
holding  his  left  hand  to  his  side,  with  an  exhausted  air,  he 
entered  the  little  apartment,  and  asked  Titmouse  what  in 
the  name  of  heaven  he  had  been  doing  to  himself :  "  With- 
out this  "  (in  the  absurd  slang  of  the  lawyers)  that  he  sus- 
pected most  vehemently,  all  the  while,  what  Titmouse  had 


TEX   THOUSAND    A-YEAK.  223 

been  about  ;  bat  be  wished  to  bear  Titmouse's  own  ac- 
count of  the  matter!  —  Titmouse,  not  daring  to  hesitate, 
oomplied  —  Gammon  listening  in  an  agony  of  suppressed 
laughter,  lie  looked  as  little  at  Titmouse  as  be  could, 
and  was  growing  a  trifle  more  sedate,  when  Titmouse,  in 
a  truly  lamentable  tone,  inquired,  "  What's  the  good,  Mr. 
Gammon,  often  thousand  a-year  with  such  a  horrid  brad 
of  hair  as  this  I  "  On  hearing  which  Gammon  jumped  off 
his  chair,  started  to  the  window,  and  laughed  for  one  or 
two  minutes  without  ceasing.  This  was  too  much  for  Tit- 
mouse, who  presently  cried  aloud  in  a  lamentable  manner; 
and  ( rammon,  suddenly  ceasing  his  laughter,  turned  round 
and  apologized  in  the  most  earnest  manner;  after  which 
he  uttered  an  abundance  of  sympathy  for  the  sufferings 
which  "he  deplored  being  unable  to  alleviate."  He  even 
restrained  himself  when  Titmouse  again  and  again  asked 
if  he  could   not  "  have  the  law  "  of  the  man  who  had  so 

sed  on  him.  Gammon  diverted  the  thoughts  of  his 
suffering  client,  by  taking  from  his  pocket  some  very 
imposing  packages  of  paper,  tied  round  with  red  tape. 
From  time  to  time,  however,  he  almost  split  his  nose 
with  efforts  to  restrain  his  laughter,  on  catching  a  fresh 
glimpse  of  poor  Titmouse's  emerald  hair.  Mr.  Gammon 
was  a  man  of  business,  however ;  and  in  the  midst  of  all 
this  distracting  excitement,  contrived  to  get  Titmouse's 
ire  to  sundry  papers  of  no  little  consequence; 
among  others,  first,  to  a  bond  conditioned  for  the  pay- 
ment of  £.j00;  secondly,  another  for  £10,000;  —  both  to 
Caleb  Quirk,  gentleman;  and  lastly,  an  agreement  (of 
which  he  gave  Titmouse  an  alleged  copy)  by  which  Tit- 

•.   in  consideration  of  Messrs.   Quirk,  Gammon,  and 

using  their  best  exertions  to  put  him  in  posses-ion 

of  tb  vc.  &c,  bound  himself  to  conform  to  their 

wishes  in  everything,  on  pain  of  their  instantly  throwing 

up  the  whole  affair,  looking  out  for  another  heir  at  law  (!) 


224  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

and  issuing  execution  forthwith  against  Titmouse  for 
all  expenses  incurred  under  his  retainer.  I  said  that 
Gammon  gave  his  confiding  client  an  alleged  copy  of  this 
agreement ; —  it  was  not  a  real  copy,  for  certain  stipula- 
tions appeared  in  each,  which  were  not  intended  to  appear 
in  the  other,  for  reasons  which  were  perfectly  satisfactory 
to  —  Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon,  and  Snap.  When  Gam- 
mon had  got  to  this  point,  he  thought  it  the  fitting  op- 
portunity for  producing  a  second  five-pound  note.  He 
did  so,  and  put  Titmouse  thereby  into  an  ecstasy,  which 
pushed  out  of  his  head  for  a  while  all  recollection  of 
what  had  happened  to  the  outside  of  it.  He  had  at  that 
moment  nearly  eleven  pounds  in  hard  cash.  Gammon 
easily  obtained  from  him  an  account  of  his  little  money 
transactions  with  Huckaback  —  of  which,  however,  all  he 
could  tell  was  —  that  for  ten  shillings  down,  he  had  given 
a  written  engagement  to  pay  fifty  pounds  on  getting  the 
estate.  Of  this  Gammon  made  a  careful  memorandum, 
explaining  to  Titmouse  the  atrocious  villany  of  Hucka- 
back—  and,  in  short,  that  if  he  (Titmouse)  did  not  look 
very  sharply  about  him,  he  would  be  robbed  right  and 
left ;  so  that  it  was  of  the  utmost  consequence  to  him 
early  to  learn  how  to  distinguish  between  false  and  true 
friends.  Gammon  went  on  to  assure  him  that  the  instru- 
ment which  he  had  given  to  Huckaback,  was  probably,  in 
point  of  law,  not  worth  a  farthing,  on  the  ground  of  its 
being  both  fraudulent  and  usurious  ;  and  intimated  some- 
thing, which  Titmouse  did  not  very  distinctly  compre- 
hend, about  the  efficacy  of  a  bill  in  equity  for  a  discovery  ; 
which — merely  to  expose  villany  —  at  a  very  insignificant 
expense,  (not  exceeding  £100,)  would  enable  the  plaintiff 
in  equity  to  put  the  defendant  in  equity,  (i.  e.  Huckaback,) 
in  the  way  of  declaring,  on  his  solemn  oath,  that  he  had 
advanced  the  full  sum  of  £50;  and  having  obtained  this 
important  and  satisfactory  result,  Titmouse  would  have 


TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAK.  22.") 

the  opportunity  of  disproving  the  statement  of  Huckaback 
—  if  he  could:  which  of  course  he  could  not.  By  this  pro- 
however,  a  little  profitable  employment  would  have 
been  afforded  to  a  certain  distinguished  firm  in  Saffron 
Hill  —  and  that  was  wmething  —  to  Gammon. 

"  But,  by  the  way,  talking  of  money,"  said  Titmouse, 
suddenly,  "you  can't  think  how  surprising  handsome  Mr. 
Tag-rag  has  behaved  to  me  !  " 

"  Indeed,  my  dear  sir!"  exclaimed  Gammon,  with  real 
curiosity,  "what   has  lie   done?" 

"Advanced  to  me  live  pounds — all  of  his  own 
head 

"Are  you  serious,  Mr.  Titmouse]"  inquired  Gammon. 

Titmouse  produced  the  change  which  he  had  obtained 
for  Tag-rag's  live-pound  note,  minus  only  the  prices  of  the 
Cyanochaitanthropopoion,  the  Damascus  cream,  and  the 
eyeglass.  Gammon  merely  stroked  his  chin  in  a  thought- 
ful manner.  So  occupied,  indeed,  was  he  with  his  reflec- 
tions, that  though  his  eye  was  fixed  on  the  ludicrous 
figure  of  Titmouse,  which  so  shortly  before  had  occasioned 
him  such  paroxysms  of  laughter,  he  did  not  feel  the  least 
inclination  even  to  a  smile.  Tag-rag  advance  Titmouse 
five  pounds  !  A-hem  !  —  Throwing  as  much  smiling  indif- 
ference into  his  manner  as  was  possible,  he  asked  Titmouse 
the  particulars  of  so  strange  a  transaction.  Titmouse  an- 
swered (how  truly  the  reader  can  judge)  that  Mr.  Tag-rag 
had.  in  the  very  handsomest  way,  volunteered  the  loan  of 
five  pounds ;  and  moreover  offered  him  any  further  sum 
he  might  require  ! 

"  What  a  charming  change,  Mr.  Titmouse  !"  exclaimed 
Gammon,   with  a  watchful  eye  and  anxious  smile. 

"  Most  delightful,  'pon  my  soul  !  " 

"  Kuther  sudden,  too!  —  eh?  —  Mr.  Titmouse?" 

"Why  —  no — no;  I  should  say,   'pon  my  life,  cer- 
tainly not.     The  fact  is,  we  've  loug  misunderstood  each 
V<»L.  i.  —  15 


226  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAK. 

other.  He  'a  had  an  uncommon  good  opinion  of  me  all 
the  while  —  people  have  tried  to  set  him  against  me  ;  but 
it 's  no  use,  he  's  found  them  out  —  he  told  me  so  !  And 
he  's  not  only  said,  but  done  the  handsome  thing  !  He  's 
turned  up,  by  Jove,  a  trump  all  of  a  sudden  —  though 
it 's  long  looked  an  ugly  card,  to  be  sure  !  " 

11  Ha,  ha,  ha  !  —  very  !  —  how  curious  !  "  exclaimed 
Mr.  Gammon,  mechanically  ;  revolving  several  important 
matters  in  his  mind. 

"  I  'm  going,  too,  to  dine  at  Satin  Lodge,  Mr.  Tag-rag's 
country  house,  next  Sunday." 

"  Indeed  !  It  will  be  quite  a  change  for  you,  Mr. 
Titmouse  !  " 

"  Yes,  it  will,  by  Jove ;  and  —  a  —  a  —  what  's  more  — 
there  's  —  hem  !  —  you  understand  1 " 

"  Go  on,  I  beg,  my  dear  Mr.  Titmouse  " 

"  There  's  a  lady  in  the  case  —  not  that  she 's  said  any- 
thing ;  but  a  nod 's  as  good  as  a  wink  to  a  blind  horse  — 
eh  1     Mr.  Gammon  ?  " 

"I  should  think  so  —  Miss  Tag-rag  will  have  money, 
of  course  1 " 

"  You  've  hit  it !  Lots  !  But  I  've  not  made  up  my 
mind." 

[I  'd  better  undeceive  this  poor  devil  at  once,  as  to 
this  sordid  wretch  Tag-rag,  (thought  Gammon,)  other- 
wise the  cunning  old  rogue  may  get  a  very  mischievous 
hold  upon  him !  And  a  lady  in  the  case !  The  old 
scamp  has  a  daughter  !  Whew  !  this  will  never  do  !  The 
sooner  I  enlighten  my  young  friend  the  better  —  though 
at  a  little  risk.] 

"It's  very  important  to  be  able  to  tell  who  are  real 
and  who  false  friends,  as  I  was  saying  just  now,  my  dear 
Titmouse,"  said  Gammon,  seriously. 

"  I  think  so.  Now  look  for  instance,  there 's  that 
fellow  Huckaback.     I  should  say  he" 


TEX   THOUSAND   A-YEAR.  227 

"  Pho !  pho!  my  dear  sir,  a  mere  beetle  —  he's  not 
worth   thinking   of,  one  way  or  the   other.     But   can'1 

yon  guess  another  sham  friend,  who  has  changed  so 
suddenly 

••  Do  yon  mean  Mr.  Tag  rag  —  eh  ? " 

"  I  mention  no  names;  but  it  's  rather  odd,  that  when 
I  am  Bpeaking  of  hollow-hearted  friends,  you  should  at 
once  name  Mr.  Tag-rag  —  ah,  ha,  Mr.  Titmouse  !  " 

"The  proof  of  the  pudding  —  handsome  is  that  hand- 
does  ;  and  I  've  got  £5  of  his  money,  at  any  rate." 

"Of  course  lie  took  no  security  for  such  a  trifle,  be- 
tween such  very  close  friends?" 

"Oh  —  why  —  now  you  mention  it  —  But  'twas  only 
a  line  —  one  line  —  a  mere  mem.  betwixt  two  gents  — 
and  I  noticed  it  had  no  stamp  !  " 

"I  guessed  as  much,  my  dear  sir,"  interrupted  Gam- 
mon, calmly,  with  a  significant  smile  —  "Tag-rag  and 
Huckaback  are  quite  on  a  par  —  a  brace  of  worthies  — 
ah,  ha,  ha  !  My  dear  Titmouse,  you  are  too  honest  and 
confiding  !  " 

"  What  keen  eyes  you  lawyers  have  to  be  sure  !  Well 
—  I  never"  —  said  Titmouse,  looking  very  grave — for 
lie  was  evidently  somewhat  staggered.  "I —  I — must 
otly  added,  looking  gratefully  at  Gammon, 
'•  I  think  I  do  now  know  of  a  true  friend,  that  sent  me 
two  fiye-pound  notes,  and  never  asked  for  any  security." 

M  My  dear  sir,  you  really  pain  me  by  alluding  to  such 
a  matter  !  " 

[Oh,  Gammon,  is  not  this  too  bad?  What  arc  the 
papers  which  yon  know  are  now  in  your  pocket,  signed 
only  this  very  evening  by  Titmouse?] 

••  Y  I  a  match  for  Tag-rag,  Mr.  Titmouse;  be- 

made  for  a  tradesman  —  you  arc  not.  Do 
you  think  he  would  have  parted  with  his  £5  but  for 
vain-  I     Oh,  Tag-rag  I  Tag-rag!" 


228  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

"I  —  I  really  begin  to  think,  Mr.  Gammon  —  'pon  my 
soul,  I  do  think  you  're  right." 

"  Think  !  —  why  —  for  a  man  of  your  acuteness  — 
how  could  he  imagine  you  could  forget  the  long  course  of 
insult  and  tyranny  which  you  have  endured  under  him  : 
that  he  should  change  all  of  a  sudden  —  just  now, 
when" 

"Ay,  by  Jove  !  just  when  I'm  coming  into  my  prop- 
erty," interrupted  Titmouse,  quickly. 

"To  be  sure  —  to  be  sure !  just  now,  I  say,  to  make 
this  sudden  change  !     Bah  !  bah  !  " 

"I  hate  Tag-rag,  and  always  did.  Now  he  's  trying  to 
take  me  in,  just  as  he  does  everybody ;  but  I 've  found 
him  out ;  I  won't  lay  out  a  penny  with  him  !  " 

"  Would  you,  do  you  think,  ever  have  seen  the  inside 
of  Satin  Lodge,  if  you  hadn't" 

"  Why,  I  don't  know  ;  I  really  think  —  hem  !  " 

"  Would  you,  my  dear  sir]  —  But  now  a  scheme  occurs 
to  me  —  a  very  amusing  idea  indeed  !  Ah,  ha,  ha  !  — 
Shall  I  tell  you  a  way  of  proving  to  his  own  face  how 
insincere  and  interested  he  is  towards  you  1  Go  to  dinner 
by  all  means,  eat  his  good  things,  hear  all  that  the  whole 
set  of  them  have  to  say,  and  just  before  you  go,  (it  will 
require  you  to  have  your  wits  about  you,)  pretend,  with 
a  long  face,  that  our  affair  is  all  a  bottle  of  smoke  :  say 
that  Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon,  and  Snap  have  told  you  the 
day  before  that  they  had  made  a  horrid  mistake,  and  you 
were  the  wrong  man  " 

"'Pon  my  life,  I  —  I  —  really,"  stammered  Titmouse 
"  dare  n't  —  I  could  n't  —  I  couldn't  keep  it  up  —  he  'd 
half  kill  me.  Besides,  there  will  be  Miss  Tag-rag  —  it 
would  be  the  death  of  her,  I  know." 

"  Miss  Tag-rag  !  Gracious  Heavens  !  What  on  earth 
can  you  have  to  do  wTith  her  ?  You  —  ^hy,  if  you  really 
succeed  in  getting  this  fine  property,  she  might  make  a 


TEX   THOUSAND   A-YKAK.  229 

very  suitable  wife  for  one  of  your  grooms  —  ah,  ha!  — 
But  for  you  —  absurd  !  " 

"  Ah  !  I  don't  know  — she  may  be  a  devilish  fine  girl, 
and  the  old  fellow  will  have  a  tolerable  penny  to  leave 
her — and  a  bird  in  the  hand  —  eh  1  Besides,  I  know 
what  she's  all  along  thought  —  hem  ! — but  that  doesn't 
signify." 

"Pho!  pho  !  Ridiculous  I  Ha,  ha,  ha  !  Fancy  Miss 
Tag-rag  Mrs.  Titmouse!  Your  eldest  son  —  ah,  ha,  ha! 
Tag-rag  Titmouse,  Esq.  Delightful  !  Your  honored 
father  a  draper  in  Oxford  Street !  "  All  this  might  be 
very  clover,  but  it  did  not  seem  to  tell  upon  Titmouse, 
whose  little  heart  had  been  reached  by  a  cunning  hint  of 
concerning  his  daughter's  flattering  estimate  of 
Titmouse's  personal  appearance.  The  reason  why  Gam- 
moo  attacked  so  seriously  a  matter  which  appeared  so 
chimerical  and  preposterous,  was  this —  that  according  to 
his  present  plan,  Titmouse  was  to  remain  for  some  con- 
siderable while  at  Tag-rag's,  and  might,  with  his  utter 
weakness  of  character,  be  worked  upon  by  Tag-rag  and 
his  daughter,  and  get  inveigled  into  an  engagement  which 
might  be  productive  hereafter  of  no  little  embarrassment. 
Gammon  succeeded,  however,  at  length,  in  obtaining  Tit- 
mouse's promise  to  adopt  his  suggestion,  and  thereby  dis- 
the  true  nature  of  the  feelings  entertained  towards 
him  at  Satin  Lodge.  He  shook  Titmouse  energetically 
by  the  hand,  and  left  him  perfectly  certain  that  if  there 
a  in  the  world  worthy  of  his  esteem,  and 
even  reverence,  that  person  was  Oily  Gammon,  Esq. 

A-  he  bent  his  steps  towards  Saffron  Hill,  he  reflected 
rather  anxiously  on  several  matters  which  had  occurred 
to  him  during  the  interview  which  I  have  just  described. 
On  reaching  the  office,  he  was  presently  closeted  with  Mi-. 
Quirk,  to  whom,  first  and  foremost,  he  exhibited  and 
delivered  the  documents  to  which  he  had  obtained  Tit- 


230  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

mouse's  signature,  and  which,  the  reader  will  allow  me  to 
assure  him,  were  of  a  somewhat  different  texture  from  a 
certain  legal  instrument  or  security  which  I  laid  before 
him  some  little  time  ago. 

"  Now,  Gammon,"  said  the  old  gentleman,  as  soon  as 
he  had  locked  up  in  his  safe  the  above-mentioned  docu- 
ments—  "  Now,  Gammon,  I  think  we  may  be  up  and  at 
'em  ;  load  our  guns,  and  blaze  away,"  and  he  rubbed  his 
hands. 

"Perhaps  so,  Mr.  Quirk,"  replied  Gammon;  "but  wTe 
must,  for  no  earthly  consideration,  be  premature  in  our 
operations  !  Let  me,  by  the  way,  tell  you  one  or  two 
little  matters  that  have  just  happened  to  Titmouse  !  "  — 
Then  he  told  Mr.  Quirk  of  the  effects  which  had  followed 
the  use  of  the  potent  Cyanochaitanthropopoion,  at  which 
old  Quirk  almost  laughed  himself  into  fits.  When,  how- 
ever, Gammon,  with  a  serious  air,  mentioned  the  name  of 
Miss  Tag-rag,  and  his  grave  suspicions  concerning  her, 
Quirk  bounced  up  out  of  his  chair,  almost  startling  Gam- 
mon out  of  his.  If  Mr.  Quirk  had  just  been  told  that 
his  banker  had  broken,  he  could  scarce  have  shown  more 
emotion. 

The  fact  was,  that  he,  too,  had  a  daughter  —  an  only 
child  —  Miss  Quirk  —  whom  he  had  destined  to  become 
Mrs.  Titmouse. 

"  A  designing  old  villain  !  "  he  exclaimed  at  length,  and 
Gammon  agreed  with  him ;  but  strange  to  say,  with  all 
his  acuteness,  never  adverted  to  the  real  cause  of  Quirk's 
sudden  and  vehement  exclamation.  When  Gammon  told 
him  of  the  manner  in  which  he  had  opened  Titmouse's 
eyes  to  the  knavery  of  Tag-rag,  and  the  expedient  he  had 
suggested  for  its  complete  demonstration  to  Titmouse, 
Quirk  could  have  worshipped  Gammon,  and  could  not 
help  rising  and  shaking  him  very  energetically  by  the 
hand,  much  to  his  astonishment.     After  a  long  consulta- 


TEN    THOUSAND    A-YKAK.  231 

tion,  they  determined  to  look  out  fresh  Lodgings  for  Tit- 
mouse, and  remove  him  presently  altogether  from  the 
company  and  influence  of  Tag-rag.  Some  time  after  they 
had  parted,  Mr.  Quirk  came  with  an  eager  air  into  Mr. 

Gammon's  room,  with  a  most  important  suggestion  \  viz. 
whether  it  would  not  be  possible  for  them  to  get  Tag-rag 

soum  a  surety  to  them,  by  and  by,  on  behalf  of 
Titmouse  I  Gammon  was  delighted  ! —  He  heartily  com- 
mended Mr.  Quirk's  sagacity,  and  promised  to  turn  it 
about  in  his  thoughts  very  carefully.  Not  having  been 
let  entirely  into  Quirk's  policy,  (of  which  the  reader  has, 
however,  just  had  a  glimpse,)  Mr.  Gammon  did  not  see 
the  difficulties  which  kept  Quirk  awake  almost  all  that 
night  :  viz.  how  to  protect  Titmouse  from  the  machina- 

of  Tag-rag  and  his  daughter,  and  yet  keep  Tag-rag 
sufficiently  interested  in,  and  intimate  with,  Titmouse,  to 
entertain,  by  and  by,  the  idea  of  becoming  surety  for  him 
to  them,  the  said  Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon,  and  Snap  ;  and 

—  withal  —  how  to  manage  Titmouse  all  the  while,  so  as 
to  forward  their  objects,  and  also  that  of  turning  his  atten- 
tion towards  Miss  Quirk  ;  all  this  formed  really  rather  a 
difficult  problem  !  —  Quirk  looked  down  on  Tag-rag  with 
honest  indignation,  as  a  mean  and  mercenary  fellow,  whose 
unprincipled  schemes,  thank  Heaven  !  he  already  saw 
through,  and  from  which  he  resolved  to  rescue  his  inno- 
cent and  confiding  client,  who  was  made  for  better  things 

—  to  lint,  Ifiss  Quirk. 

When  Titmouse  rose  the  next  morning,  (Saturday,) 
1  —  he  found  his  hair  had  become  of  a  variously 
shaded  purple  or  violet  color!  Astonishment  and  ap- 
prehension by  turns  possessed  him,  as  he  stared  into 
the  glass,  at  this  unlooked-for  change  of  color;  and  has- 
tily dressing  himself,  after  swallowing  a  very  slight  break- 
s' he  went  once  more  to  the  scientific  establishment 
in  Bond  Street,  to  which  he  had  been   indebted  for  his 


232  TEN   THOUSAND   A- YEAR. 

recent  delightful  experiences.  The  distinguished  inven- 
tor and  proprietor  of  the  Cyanochaitanthropopoion  was 
behind  the  counter  as  usual  — calm  and  confident  as  ever. 

11  Ah  !  I  see  —  as  I  said  !  as  T  said ! "  quoth  he,  with  a 
sort  of  glee  in  his  manner.  "  Is  n't  it  1  —  coming  round 
quicker  than  usual  —  Really,  I  'm  selling  more  of  the  ar- 
ticle than  I  can  possibly  make." 

u  Well,"  —  at  length  said  Titmouse,  as  soon  as  he  had 
recovered  from  the  surprise  occasioned  by  the  sudden  vol- 
ubility with  which  he  had  been  assailed  on  entering  — 
"then  is  it  really  going  on  tolerable  well1?"  taking  off 
his  hat,  and  looking  anxiously  into  a  glass  that  hung 
close  by. 

"  Tolerable  well,  my  dear  sir  !  Delightful !  Perfect ! 
Could  n't  be  better  !  If  you  'd  studied  the  thing,  you  'd 
know,  sir,  that  purple  is  the  middle  color  between  green 
and  black.  Indeed,  black's  only  purple  and  green  mixed, 
which  explains  the  whole  thing  !  "  Titmouse  listened  with 
infinite  satisfaction  to  this  unanswerable  and  truly  philo- 
sophical account  of  the  matter. 

"Remember,  sir  —  my  hair  is  to  come  like  yours  — 
eh?  you  recollect,  sir?  Honor  —  that  was  the  bargain, 
you  know  ! " 

"  I  have  very  little  doubt  of  it,  sir  —  nay,  I  am  certain 
of  it,  knowing  it  by  experience." 

[The  scamp  had  been  hired  expressly  for  the  purpose 
of  lying  thus  in  support  of  the  Cyanochaitanthropopoion  ; 
his  own  hair  being  a  natural  black.] 

"I'm  going  to  a  grand  dinner  to-morrow,  sir,"  said 
Titmouse,  "  with  some  devilish  great  people  at  the  west 
end  of  the  town  —  eh  ?  you  understand  ?  will  it  do  by 
that  time  ?  Would  give  a  trifle  to  get  my  hair  a  shade 
darker  by  that  time  —  for  —  hem  !  —  most  lovely  gal  — 
eh?  you  understand  the  thing? — devilish  anxious,  and  all 
that  sort  of  thing,  you  know  !  " 


TEN    THOUSAND    A-YF.Ai;.  233 

"Yes —  I  do,"  replied  the  gentleman  of  the  shop,  in 
a  confidential  tone  ;  and  opening  one  of  the  glass  doors 
behind  him,  took  out  a  bottle  considerably  larger  than 
the  first,  and  handed  it  to  Titmouse.  "This,"  said  he, 
"will  complete  the  thing;  it  combines  chemically  with 
the  purple  particles,  and  the  result  is  —  generally  arrived 
at  in  about  two  days'  time  " 

"But  it  will  do  something  in  a  night's  time  —  eh!  — 
surely." 

"  I  should  think  so  !  But  here  it  is  —  it  is  called  the 
Tbtabagmbnon  Abracadabra." 

••What  a  name!"  exclaimed  Titmouse,  with  a  kind 
of  awe.  "  Ton  honor,  it  almost  takes  one's  breath 
away  '' 

'•  It  will  do  more,  sir  ;  it  will  take  your  red  hair  away! 
By  the  way,  only  the  day  before  yesterday,  a  lady  of  high 
rank,  (between  ourselves,  Lady  Caroline  Carrot,)  whose 
red  hair  always  seemed  as  if  it  would  have  set  her  bonnet 
in  a  blaze  —  ha,  ha  !  —  came  here,  after  two  days'  use  of 
the  Cyanochaitanthropopoion,  and  one  day's  use  of  this 
Tetaragmenon  Abracadabra  —  and  asked  me  if  I  knew 
her.  Upon  my  soul  I  did  not,  till  she  solemnly  assured 
me  she  was  really  Lady  Caroline  !  " 

"How  much  is  it?"  eagerly  inquired  Titmouse,  thrust- 
ing his  hand  into  his  pocket,  with  no  little  excitement. 

"  Only  nine-and-sixpence." 

"  Oh,  my  stars,  what  a  price  !     Xine-and-six  " 

"Ah.  but  would  you  have  believed  it,  sir?  This  ex- 
traordinary fluid  cost  a  great  German  chemist  his  whole 
life  to  bring  to  perfection  ;  and  it  contains  expensive 
materials  from  all  the  four  corners  of  the  world  !  It 's 
ruined  the  proprietor  long  ago  !  " 

"That  may  be  —  but  really  —  I've  laid  out  a  large 
with  you,  sir,  this  day  or  two!  Couldn't  you  say 
eight  sli " 


234  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

"  We  never  abate,  sir  ;  it 's  not  our  style  of  doing  busi- 
ness," replied  the  gentleman,  in  a  manner  that  quite  over- 
awed poor  Titmouse,  who  at  once  bought  this,  the  third 
abomination  ;  not  a  little  depressed,  however,  at  the  heavy 
prices  which  he  had  paid  for  the  three  bottles,  and  the 
uncertainty  he  felt  as  to  the  ultimate  issue.  That  night 
he  was  so  well  satisfied  with  the  progress  which  he  was 
making  with  his  hair,  (for,  by  candle  light,  it  really  looked 
much  darker  than  could  have  been  expected,)  that  he 
resolved  —  at  all  events  for  the  present  —  to  leave  well 
alone  ;  or  at  the  utmost,  to  try  the  effects  of  the  Tetarag- 
menon  Abracadabra  only  upon  his  eyebrows  and  whiskers. 
Into  them  he  rubbed  the  new  specific  ;  which,  on  the 
bottle  being  opened,  surprised  him  in  two  respects  :  first, 
it  was  perfectly  colorless  ;  secondly,  it  had  a  most  infernal 
smell.  It  was,  however,  no  use  hesitating  :  he  had  bought 
and  paid  for  it ;  and  the  papers  in  which  it  was  folded 
gave  an  account  of  its  success  that  was  really  irresistible 
and  unquestionable.  Away,  therefore,  he  rubbed  ;  and 
when  he  had  finished,  got  into  bed,  in  humble  hope  as  to 
the  result,  which  would  be  disclosed  by  the  morning's 
light.  But,  alas  !  would  you  have  believed  it  1  When  he 
looked  at  himself  in  the  glass,  about  six  o'clock  on  the 
ensuing  morning,  (at  which  hour  he  awoke,)  I  protest  it 
is  a  fact,  that  his  eyebrows  and  whiskers  were  as  white  as 
snow ;  which,  combined  with  the  purple  color  of  the  hair 
on  his  head,  rendered  him  one  of  the  most  astounding  ob- 
jects (in  human  shape)  the  eye  of  man  had  ever  beheld. 
There  was  the  wisdom  of  age  seated  in  his  white  eyebrows 
and  whiskers,  unspeakable  youthful  folly  in  his  features, 
and  a  purple  crown  of  wonder  on  his  head. 

Really,  it  seemed  as  if  the  devil  were  wreaking  his  spite 
on  Mr.  Titmouse  ;  nay,  perhaps  it  was  the  devil  himself 
who  had  served  him  with  the  bottles  in  Bond  Street.  Or 
was  it  a  mere  ordinary  servant  of  the  devil  —  some  greedy, 


TEX    THOUSAND    A-YEAK.  235 

impudent,  unprincipled  speculator,  who,  desirous  of  acting 
on  the  approved  maxim  —  Fiat  experimentum  in  corpore 

1'ili  —  had  pitched  on  Titmouse  (seeing  the  sort  of  person 
he  w;b)  as  a  godsend,  quite  reckless  what  effect  might  he 
produced  on  his  hair,  so  as  the  stuff  were  paid  for,  and 
its  effects  noted  1  It  might  possibly  have  been  sport  to 
intleman  of  the  shop,  but  it  was  near  proving  death 
to  poor  Titmouse,  who  might  possibly  have  resolved  on 
throwing  himself  out  of  the  window,  only  that  he  saw  it 
was  not  big  enough  for  a  baby  to  get  through.  He  turned 
aghast  at  the  monstrous  object  which  his  little  glass  pre- 
sented  to  him;  and  sank  down  upon  the  bed  with  the 
feeling  that  he  was  now  fit  for  death.  As  before,  Mrs. 
Squallop  made  her  appearance  with  his  kettle  for  break- 
fast.  He  was  sitting  at  the  table  dressed,  and  with  his 
arms  folded,  with  a  reckless  air,  not  at  all  caring  to  con- 
ceal the  new  and  still  more  frightful  change  which  he  had 
undergone  since  she  saw  him  last.  Mrs.  Squallop  stared 
at  him  for  a  second  or  two  in  silence  ;  then,  stepping  back 
out  of  the  room,  suddenly  drew  to  the  door,  and  stood 
outside,   laughing  vehemently. 

"  I  '11  kick  you  down-stairs  !  "  shouted  Titmouse,  rush- 
ing to  the  door  pale  with  fury,  and  pulling  it  open. 

"  Mr.  —  Mr.  —  Titmouse,  you  '11  be  the  death  of  me  — 
you  will  —  you  will !"  gasped  Mrs.  Squallop,  almost  black 
in  the  face,  and  the  water  running  out  of  the  kettle,  which 
she  was  uuconsciously  holding  aslant.  After  a  while,  howr- 
ever,  they  got  reconciled.  Mrs.  Squallop  had  fancied  he 
had  been  but  rubbing  chalk  on  his  eyebrows  and  whiskers  ; 
and  seemed  dismayed,  indeed,  on  hearing  the  true  state 
of  the  case.  He  implored  her  to  send  out  for  a  small 
bottle  of  ink  ;  but  as  it  was  Sunday  morning  none  could 
_  *  ;  —  she  knew  that  no  one  in  the  court  used  ink, 
and  sin,-  teased  him  to  try  a  little  blacking  !  lie  did  — 
but  it  was  useless!  —  He  sat  for  an  hour  or  two,   in  an 


236  TEN    THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

ecstasy  of  grief  and  rage.  What  would  he  now  have  given 
never  to  have  meddled  with  the  hair  which  Heaven  had 
thought  fit  to  send  him  into  the  world  with  ?  Alas,  with 
what  mournful  force  Mrs.  Squallop's  words  again  and  again 
recurred  to  him  !  To  say  that  he  ate  breakfast  would  be 
scarcely  correct.  He  drank  a  single  cup  of  cocoa,  and  ate 
a  small  fragment  of  roll,  and  then  put  away  his  breakfast 
things  on  the  window  shelf.  If  he  had  been  in  the  humor 
to  go  to  church,  how  could  he  1  He  would  have  been 
turned  out  as  an  object  involuntarily  exciting  everybody 
to  laughter  ! 

Yet,  poor  soul,  in  this  extremity  of  misery,  he  was  not 
utterly  neglected  ;  for  he  had  that  morning  quite  a  little 
levee.  First  came  Mr.  Snap,  who,  having  quite  as  keen 
and  clear  an  eye  for  his  own  interest  as  his  senior  part- 
ners, had  early  seen  how  capable  was  an  acquaintance  with 
Titmouse  of  being  turned  to  his  (Snap's)  great  advantage. 
He  had  come,  therefore,  dressed  very  stylishly,  to  do  a  little 
bit  of  toadying  on  the  sly,  (on  his  own  exclusive  account ;) 
and  had  brought  with  him,  for  the  edification  of  Titmouse, 
a  copy  of  that  day's  Sunday  Flash,  which  contained  a  long 
account  of  a  bloody  fight  between  Birmingham  Bigbones 
and  London  Littlego,  for  £500  a-side,  (sixty  rounds  had 
been  fought,  both  men  killed,  and  their  seconds  had 
bolted  to  Boulogne.)  Poor  Snap,  however,  though  he  had 
come  with  the  best  intentions,  and  the  most  anxious  wish 
to  evince  profound  respect  for  the  future  master  of  ten 
thousand  a-year,  was  quite  taken  by  storm  by  the  very 
first  glimpse  he  got  of  Titmouse,  and  could  not  for  a  long 
while  recover  himself.  He  had  come  to  ask  Titmouse  to 
dine  with  him  at  a  tavern  in  the  Strand,  where  there  was  to 
be  capital  singing  in  the  evening  :  and  also  to  accompany 
him,  on  the  ensuing  morning,  to  the  Old  Bailey,  to  hear 
"  a  most  interesting  trial "  for  bigamy,  in  which  Snap  was 
concerned  for  the  prisoner  —  a  miscreant,  who  had  been 


TEN   THOUSAND    A-YEAII.  237 

.  married  to  five  living  women  !  !  Snap  conceived  (and  very 
justly)  that  it  would  give  Titmouse  a  striking  idea  of  his 
(Snap's)  importance,  to  see  him  so  much,  and  apparently 
so  familarly  concerned  with  well-known  counsel.     In  his 

own  terse  and  quaint  way,  he  was  explaining  to  Titmouse 
the  various  remedies  he  had  against  the  Bond  Street  im- 
postor, both  by  indictment  and  action  on  the  case,  nay, 
(getting  a  little,  however,  beyond  his  depth,)  he  assured 
the  eager  Titmouse,  that  a  bill  of  discovery  would  lie  in 
equity,  to  ascertain  what  the  Tetaragmenon  Abracadabra 
was  composed  of,  with  a  view  to  his  preferring  an  indict- 
ment against  its  owner,  when  Ins  learned  display  was 
interrupted  by  a  double  knock,  and  —  oh,  mercy  on  us! 
— enter   Mr.  Gammon.     Whether  he  or  Snap  felt  more 

ncerted,  J  cannot  say;  but  Snap  looked  the  most 
confused  and  sneaking.  Each  told  the  other  a  lie,  in  as 
good-natured  a  way  as  he  could  assume,  concerning 
the  object  of  his  visit  to  Titmouse.  Thus  they  were  go- 
ing on,  when  —  another  knock  —  and,  "  Is  this  Mr. 
Titmouse's?"  inquired  a  voice,  which  brought  a  little 
color  into  the  face  of  both  Gammon  and  Snap ;  for  it 
was  absolutely  old  Quirk,  who  bustled  breathless  into  the 
room,  on  his  first  visit,  and  seemed  completely  confounded 
by  the  sight  of  both  his  partners.  What  with  this,  and 
the  amazing  appearance  presented  by  Titmouse,  Mr. 
Quirk  was  so  overwhelmed  that  he  scarce  spoke  a  syl- 
lable. Each  of  the  three  partners  felt  (in  his  own  way) 
exquisite  embarrassment.     Huckaback,  some  time  after- 

s,  made  his  appearance;  \mV  him  Titmouse  uncere- 
moniously dismissed  in  a  twinkling,  in  spite  of  a  vehement 
remonstrance.  Behold,  however,  presently  another  arri- 
val—  Mr.  Tag-rag!!  who  had  come  to  announce  that 
his  carriage  (>'.  e.  a  queer,  rickety,  little  one-horse  chaise, 
with  a  tallow-faced  boy  in  it,  in  faded  livery)  was  waiting 
to  convev  Mi'.  Titmouse  to  Satin  Lod^e,  and  take  him  a 


238  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

long  drive  in  the  country  !  Each  of  these  four  worthies, 
could  have  spit  in  the  other's  face  :  first,  for  detecting, 
and  secondly,  for  rivalling  him  in  his  schemes  upon  Tit- 
mouse. A  few  minutes  after  the  arrival  of  Tag-rag,  Gam- 
mon, half-choked  with  disgust,  and  despising  himself 
even  more  than  he  despised  his  fellow-visitors,  slunk  off, 
followed  almost  immediately  by  Quirk,  who  was  dying  to 
consult  him  on  this  new  aspect  of  affairs  which  had  pre- 
sented itself.  Snap  (who  ever  since  the  arrival  of  Messrs. 
Quirk  and  Gammon  had  felt  like  an  ape  on  hot  irons) 
very  shortly  followed  in  the  footsteps  of  his  partners, 
having  made  no  engagement  whatever  with  Titmouse ; 
and  thus  the  enterprising  and  determined  Tag-rag  was 
left  master  of  the  field.  He  had  in  fact  come  to  do  busi- 
ness, and  business  he  determined  to  do.  As  for  Gammon, 
during  the  short  time  he  had  stayed,  how  he  had  en- 
deared himself  to  Titmouse,  by  explaining,  not  aware  that 
Titmouse  had  confessed  all  to  Snap,  the  singular  change  in 
the  color  of  his  hair  to  have  been  occasioned  simply  by 
the  intense  mental  anxiety  through  which  he  had  lately 
passed  !  The  touching  anecdotes  he  told  of  sufferers, 
whose  hair  a  single  night's  agony  had  changed  to  all  the 
colors  of  the  rainbow  !  Though  Tag-rag  outstayed  all 
his  fellow-visitors,  in  the  manner  which  has  been  de- 
scribed, he  could  not  prevail  upon  Titmouse  to  accompany 
him  in  his  "  carriage,"  for  Titmouse  pleaded  a  pressing 
engagement,  (?'.  e.  a  desperate  attempt  he  purposed  mak- 
ing to  obtain  some  ink,)  but  pledged  himself  to  make  his 
appearance  at  Satin  Lodge  at  the  appointed  hour  (half- 
past  three  or  four  o'clock.)  Away,  therefore,  drove  Tag- 
rag,  delighted  that  Satin  Lodge  would  so  soon  contain  so 
resplendent  a  visitor  —  indignant  at  the  cringing,  syco- 
phantic attentions  of  Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon,  and  Snap, 
against  whom  he  resolved  to  put  Titmouse  on  his  guard, 
and    infinitely  astonished    at    the    extraordinary  change 


TEX   THOUSAND   A-YEAB.  239 

which  had  taken  place  in  the  color  of  Titmouse's  hair. 
Partly  influenced  by  the  explanation  which  Gammon  had 
given  of  the  phenomenon,  Tag-rag  resigned  himself  to 
feelings  of  simple  wonder.  Titmouse  was  doubtless  pass- 
ing through  Btages  iA'  physical  transmogrification,  corre- 
sponding with  the  marvellous  change  that  was  taking- 
place  in  his  circumstances  ;  and  for  all  he  (Tag-rag)  knew, 
other  and  more  extraordinary  changes  were  going  on  ; 
Titmouse  might  be  growing  at  the  rate  of  half  an  inch 
a-day.  and  Boon  stand  before  him  a  man  more  than  six 
feet  high!  Considerations  such  as  these  invested  Tit- 
mouse with  intense  and  overpowering  interest  in  the 
estimation  of  Tag-rag  ;  how  could  he  make  enough  of  him 
at  Satin  Lodge  that  day  1  If  ever  that  hardened  sinner 
felt  inclined  to  utter  an  inward  prayer,  it  was  as  he  drove 
home  that  day  —  that  Heaven  would  array  his  daughter 
in  angel  hues  to  the  eyes  of  Titmouse  ! 

My  friend  Tittlebat  made  his  appearance  at  the  gate 
of  Satin  Lodge,  at  about  a  quarter  to  four  o'clock.  Good 
gracious,  how  he  had  dressed  himself  out!  So  as  very 
considerably  to  exceed  his  appearance  when  first  presented 
to  the  reader. 

Miss  Tag-rag  had  been  before  her  glass  ever  since  the 
instant  of  her  return  from  chapel,  up  to  within  ten  min- 
utes' time  of  Titmouse's  arrival.  An  hour  and  a  half  at 
least  had  she  bestowed  on  her  hair,  disposing  it  in  little 
corkscrew  and  somewhat  scanty  curls,  which  quite  glis- 
tened in  bear's  grease,  hanging  on  each  side  of  a  pair  of 
lean  and  sallow  cheeks.  The  color  which  ought  to  have 
distributed  itself  over  her  cheeks,  in  roseate  delicacy,  had, 
two  or  three  years  before,  thought  fit  to  collect  itself  into 
the  tip  of  her  sharp  little  nose.  Her  small  gray  eyes 
beamed  with  the  gentle  and  attractive  expression  per- 
ceptible in  her  father's ;  and  her  projecting  under  lip  re- 
minded everybody  of  that  delicate  feature  in  her  mother. 


240  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

She  was  very  short,  and  her  figure  rather  skinny  and  an- 
gular. She  wore  her  lilac-colored  frock  ;  her  waist  being 
pinched  in  to  a  degree  which  made  you  think  of  a  fit  of 
the  colic  when  you  looked  at  her  —  and  gave  you  a  dim 
vision  of  a  coroner's  inquest  on  a  case  of  death  by  tight  lac- 
ing !  A  long  red  sash,  tied  in  a  most  elaborate  bow,  gave 
a  very  brilliant  air  to  her  dress  generally.  She  had  a  thin 
gold  chain  round  her  neck,  and  wore  long  white  gloves;  her 
left  hand  holding  her  pocket-handkerchief,  which  she  had 
so  suifused  with  bergamot  that  it  scented  the  whole  room. 
Mrs.  Tag-rag  had  made  herself  very  splendid,  in  a  red  silk 
gown  and  staring  head-dress ;  in  fact,  she  seemed  on  fire. 
As  for  Mr.  Tag-rag,  whenever  he  was  dressed  in  his  Sun- 
day clothes,  he  looked  the  model  of  a  dissenting  minister  j 
witness  his  black  coat,  waistcoat  and  trousers,  and  primly- 
tied  white  neckerchief,  with  no  shirt-collar  visible.  For 
some  quarter  of  an  hour  had  this  interesting  trio  been 
standing  at  their  parlor  window,  in  anxious  expectation 
of  Titmouse's  arrival ;  their  only  amusement  being  the 
numberless  dusty  stage-coaches  driving  evefy  five  minutes 
close  past  their  gate,  (which  was  about  ten  yards  from 
their  house,)  at  once  enlivening  and  ruralizing  the  scene. 
Oh,  that  poor  laburnum  —  laden  with  dust,  drooping  w7ith 
drought,  and  evidently  in  the  verjr  last  stage  of  a  decline 

—  that  was  planted  beside  the  little  gate  !  Tag-rag  spoke 
of  cutting  it  down  ;  but  Mrs.  and  Miss  Tag-rag  begged  its 
life  a  little  longer,  because  none  of  their  neighbors  had 
one  !  —  and  then  that  subject  dropped.  Howt  wras  it  that 
though  both  the  ladies  had  sat  under  a  thundering  dis- 
course from  Mr.  Dismal  Horror  that  morning  —  they  had 
never  once  since  thought  or  spoken  of  him  or  his  sermon 

—  never  even  opened  his  exhilarating  "  Groans  "  ?  The 
reason  was  plain.  They  thought  of  Titmouse,  who  was 
bringing  "airs  from  heaven;"  while  Horror  brought 
only  "blasts  from !"  and  those  they  had  every  day 


TEX   THOUSAND    A-YEAR.  241 

in  the  week,  (his  sermons  on  the  Sunday,  his  "Groans" 
on  the  weekday.)  At  length  Miss  Tag-rag's  little  heart 
fluttered  violently,  for  her  papa  told  her  that  Titmouse 
was  coming  up  the  road  —  and  so  he  was.  Not  dream- 
ing that  he  oould  be  seen,  he  stood  beside  the  gate  for  a 
moment,  under  the  melancholy  laburnum;  and,  taking  a 
dirty-looking  silk  handkerchief  out  of  his  hat,  slapped  it 
vigorously  about  his  boots,  (from  which  eircumstance  it 
may  be  interred  that  he  had  walked,)  and  replaced  it  in  his 
hat.  Then  he  unbuttoned  his  surtout,  adjusted  it  nicely, 
and  disposed  his  chain  and  eyeglass  just  so  as  to  let  the 
tip  only  of  the  latter  be  seen  peeping  out  of  his  waistcoat ; 
twitched  up  his  shirt-collar,  plucked  down'  his  wristbands, 
drew  the  tip  of  a  white  pocket  handkerchief  out  of  the 
pocket  in  the  breast  of  his  surtout,  pulled  a  white  glove 
halfway  on  his  left  hand  ;  and  having  thus  given  the  finish- 
ing touches  to  his  toilet,  opened  the  gate,  and  —  Tittlebat 
Titmouse,  Esquire,  the  great  guest  of  the  day,  for  the  first 
time  in  his  life  (swinging  a  little  ebony  cane  about  witli 
careless  grace)  entered  the  domain  of  Mr.  Tag-rag. 

The  little  performance  I  have  been  describing,  though 
every  bit  of  it  passing  under  the  eyes  of  Tag-rag,  his  wife, 
and  his  daughter,  had  not  excited  a  smile  ;  their  anxious 
feelings  were  too  deep  to  be  reached  or  stirred  by  light 
emotions.     Miss  Tag-rag  turned  very  pale  and  trembled. 

"  La,  pa  !  "  said  she,  faintly,  "  how  could  you  say  he  'd 
got  white  eyebrows  and  whiskers?  Why  —  they're  a 
beautiful  black  !  " 

Tag-rag  was  speechless:  the  fact  was  so  —  for  Titmouse 
had  fortunately  succeeded  in  obtaining  a  little  bottle  of 
ink,  which  he  had  applied  with  great  effect.  As  Titmouse 
approached  the  house,  (Tag-rag  hurrying  out  to  open  the 
door  for  him,)  he  saw  the  two  ladies  standing  at  the  win- 
dows. Off  went  his  hat,  and  out  dropped  the  dusty  silk 
handkerchief,  not  a  little  disconcerting  him  for  the  mo- 

VOL.  I.  —16 


242  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

ment.  Tag-rag,  however,  soon  occupied  his  attention  at 
the  door  with  anxious  civilities,  shaking  him  by  the  hand, 
hanging  up  his  hat  and  stick  for  him,  and  then  intro- 
ducing him  to  the  sitting-room.  The  ladies  received  him 
with  the  most  profound  courtesies,  which  Titmouse  re- 
turned with  a  quick  embarrassed  bow,  and  an  indistinct  — 
"  Hope  you  're  well,  mem  1 " 

If  they  had  had  presence  of  mind  enough  to  observe  it, 
the  purple  color  of  Titmouse's  hair  must  have  surprised 
them  not  a  little ;  all  they  could  see  standing  before  them, 
however,  was  —  the  angelic  owner  of  ten  thousand  a-year. 

The  only  person  tolerably  at  his  ease,  and  he  only  tol- 
erably, was  Mr.  Tag-rag ;  and  he  asked  his  guest 

"Wash  your  hands,  Titmouse,  before  dinner?"  But 
Titmouse  said  he  had  washed  them  before  he  had  come 
out.  [The  day  was  hot,  and  he  had  walked  five  miles  at 
a  slapping  pace.]  In  a  few  minutes,  however,  he  felt  a 
little  more  assured ;  it  being  impossible  for  him  not  to 
perceive  the  awful  deference  with  which  he  was  treated. 

"  Seen  the  Sunday  Flash,  mem ! "  he  presently  inquired, 
very  modestly,  addressing  Mrs.  Tag-rag. 

"I  —  I  —  that  is  —  not  to-day"  she  replied,  coloring. 

"  Vastly  amusing,  is  n't  it  % "  interposed  Tag-rag,  to 
prevent  mischief — for  he  knew  his  wife  would  as  soon 
have  taken  a  cockatrice  into  her  hand. 

"Ye  —  e  —  s,"  replied  Titmouse,  who  had  not  even 
glanced  at  the  copy  which  Snap  had  brought  him.  "  An 
uncommon  good  fight  between  Birmingham  Big  " 

Tag-rag  saw  his  wife  getting  redder  and  redder.  "  No 
news  stirring  about  things  in  general,  is  there  1 "  said  he, 
with  a  desperate  attempt  at  a  diversion. 

"  Not  that  I  have  heard,"  replied  Titmouse.  Soon  he 
got  a  little  farther,  and  said  how  cheerful  the  stages  go- 
ing past  must  make  the  house.  Tag-rag  agreed  with  him. 
Then  there  was  a  little  pause.     None  of  the  party  knew 


TEX    THOUSAND    A-YEAK.  243 

exactly  which  way  to  look,  nor  in  what  posture  to  sit. 
Faint  "  hems"  wore  occasionally  heard.  In  short,  no  one 
felt  at  home. 

'•  Been  to  church,  mem,  this  morning,  mem?"  timidly 
inquired  Titmouse  of  Miss  Tag-rag  —  the  first  time  of  his 
daring  to  address  her. 

*•  Yea,  sir,"  she  replied,  faintly  coloring,  casting  her 
eyes  t>>  the  ground,  and  suddenly  putting  her  hand  into 
that  of  her  mother  —  with  such  an  innocent,  engaging 
simplicity  —  like  a  timid  fawn  lying  as  close  as  possible 
to  its  dam  ! ls 

"  We  always  go  to  chapel,  sir,"  said  Mrs.  Tag-rag,  confi- 
dently, in  spite  of  a  deadly  look  from  her  husband  ;  "the 
a'n't  preached  in  the  Church  of  England  !  We  sit 
under  Mr.  Horror — a  heavenly  preacher!  You've  heard 
of  Mr.  Horror  1" 

•Yes,  mem!  Oh,  yes!  Capital  preacher!"  replied 
Titmouse,  who  of  course  (being  a  true  churchman)  had 
never  in  his  life  heard  of  Mr.  Horror,  or  any  other 
dissenter. 

u  When  will  dinner  be  ready,  Mrs.  T.  ?"  inquired  Tag- 

_  abruptly,  and  with  a  very  perceptible  dash  of  stern- 
i  his  tone  ;  but  dinner  was  announced  the  very  next 
moment.  He  took  his  wife's  arm,  and  in  doing  so,  gave 
it  a  sudden  vehement  pressure,  which,  coupled  with  a  fu- 
rious glance,  explained  to  her  the  extent  to  which  she  had 
incurred  bis  ;mger ! 

Titmouse's  offered  arm  the  timid  Miss  Tag-rag  scarcely 
touched  with  the  tip  of  her  finger,  as  she  walked  beside 
him  to  dinner.  He  soon  got  tolerably  composed  and 
cheerful  at  dinner,  (which,  contrary  to  their  usual  cus- 
—  which  was  to  have  a  cheerless  cold  dinner  on  the 
Sabbath —  consisted  of  a  little  piece  of  nice  roast  beef, 
with  plenty  of  horse-radish,  Yorkshire  pudding,  a  boiled 
fowl,  a  plum-pudding  made  by  Mrs.  Tag-rag,  and  custards 


244  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

which  had  been  superintended  by  Miss  Tag-rag  herself,) 
and,  to  oblige  his  hospitable  host  and  hostess,  ate  till  he 
was  near  bursting.  Miss  Tag-rag,  though  really  very  hun- 
gry, could  be  prevailed  upon  to  take  only  a  very  small 
slice  of  beef  and  a  quarter  of  a  custard,  and  drank  a  third 
of  a  glass  of  quasi  sherry  (i.  e.  Cape  wine)  after  dinner. 
She  never  once  spoke,  except  in  hurried  answers,  to  her 
papa  and  mamma  ;  and  sitting  exactly  opposite  Titmouse, 
(with  a  big  plate  of  greens  and  a  boiled  fowl  between 
them,)  was  continually  coloring  whenever  their  eyes  hap- 
pened to  encounter  one  another,  on  which  occasions,  hers 
would  suddenly  drop,  as  if  overpowered  by  the  brilliance  of 
his.  Titmouse  began  to  love  her  very  fast.  After  the 
ladies  had  withdrawn,  you  should  have  heard  the  way  in 
which  Tag-rag  went  on  with  Titmouse  !  —  I  can  liken  the 
two  to  nothing  but  an  old  fat  spider  and  a  little  fly. 

"  Will  you  come  into  my  parlor  ? 
Said  the  spider  to  the  fly  ; " 

—  in  the  old  song  :  and  it  might  have  been  well  for  Tit- 
mouse to  have  answered,  in  the  language  of  the  aforesaid 
fly:- 

"  No,  thank  you,  sir,  1  really  feel 
No  curiosity." 

Titmouse,  however,  swallowed  with  equal  facility  Mr. 
Tag-rag's  hard  port  and  his  soft  blarney ;  but  all  fools 
have  large  swallows.  When,  at  length,  Tag-rag  with  ex- 
quisite skill  and  delicacy  alluded  to  the  painfully  evident 
embarrassment  of  his  "poor  Tabby,"  and  said  he  had  "all 
of  a  sudden  found  out  what  had  been  so  long  the  matter 
with  her,"  [ay,  even  this  went  down,]  and  hemmed,  and 
winked  his  eye,  and  drained  his  glass,  Titmouse  began  to 
get  flustered,  blushed,  and  hoped  Mr.  Tag-rag  would  soon 
"join  the  ladies."  They  did  so,  Tag-rag  stopping  behind 
for  a  few  moments  to  lock  up  the  wine  and  the  remains 


TEX  THOUSAND  A-YEAK.  245 

of  the  fruit,  not  wishing  to  subject  the  servant-boy  to 
temptation  by  the  rare  opportunity  afforded  by  fruit  left 
on  the  table.  Miss  Tag-rag  presided  over  the  tea-things. 
There  wore  muffins,  and  crumpets,  and  reeking-hot  but- 
tered toast  ;  and  hospitable  Mrs.  Tag-rag  would  hear  of 
no  denial,  "things  had  been  got^  and  must  be  eat,"  she 
thought  within  herself;  so  poor  Titmouse,  after  a  most 
desperate  resistance,  was  obliged  to  swallow  a  round  of 
toast,  half  a  muffin,  an  entire  crumpet,  and  four  cups  of 
hot  tea  ;  after  which  they  felt  that  he  must  feel  comforta- 
ble ;  but  he,  alas,  in  fact,  experienced  a  very  painful  de- 
gree of  turgidity,  and  a  miserable  conviction  that  he 
should  be  able  neither  to  eat  nor  drink  anything  more 
for  the  remainder  of  the  week  ! 

After  the  tea-things  had  been  removed,  Tag-rag,  direct- 
ing Titmouse's  attention  to  the  piano,  which  was  open, 
(with  some  music  on  it,  ready  to  be  played  from,)  asked 
him  whether  he  liked  music.  Titmouse,  with  great  eager- 
ness, hoped  Miss  T.  would  give  them  some  music;  and 
she,  after  holding  out  a  long  and  vigorous  siege,  at  length 
asked  her  papa  what  it  should  be. 

"  The  Battle  of  Prague"  said  her  papa. 

"  Before  Jehovah* 's  awful  throne,  my  dear  !  "  hastily  and 
anxiously  interposed  her  mamma. 

"  The  Battle,"  sternly  repeated  her  papa. 

"It's  Sunday  night,  Mr.  T.,"  meekly  rejoined  his  wife. 

u  Which  will  you  have,  Mr.  Titmouse  % "  inquired  Tag- 
rag,  with  The  Battle  of  Prague  written  in  every  feature 
of  his  face.  Titmouse  almost  burst  into  a  state  of 
perspiration. 

"A  little  of  both,  sir,  if  you  please." 

"Well,"  replied  Tag-rag,  slightly  relaxing,  "that  will 
do.  Split  the  difference  —  eh  %  Come,  Tab,  down  with 
you.  Titmouse,  will  you  turn  over  the  music  for  my 
little  girl]" 


246  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

Titmouse  rose,  and  having  sheepishly  taken  his  station 
beside  Miss  Tag-rag,  the  performances  commenced  with 
Before  Jehovah's  awful  throne  !  But  mercy  upon  us  !  at 
what  a  rate  she  rattled  over  that  "  pious  air  ! "  If  its 
respectable  composer  (whoever  he  may  be)  had  been 
present,  he  must  have  gone  into  a  fit ;  but  there  was  no 
help  for  it  —  the  heart  of  the  lovely  performer  was  in  The 
Battle  of  Prague,  to  which  she  presently  did  most  ample 
justice.  So  much  were  her  feelings  engaged  in  that  sub- 
lime composition,  that  the  bursting  of  one  of  the  strings 

—  twang !  in  the  middle  of  the  "  cannonading,"  did  not 
at  all  disturb  her ;  and,  as  soon  as  she  had  finished  the 
exquisite  "finale,"  Titmouse  was  in  such  a  tumult  of  ex- 
citement, from  a  variety  of  causes,  that  he  could  have 
shed  tears.  Though  he  had  never  once  turned  over  at 
the  right  place,  Miss  Tag-rag  thanked  him  for  his  services 
with  a  smile  of  infinite  sweetness.  Titmouse  vowed  he 
had  never  heard  such  splendid  music  —  begged  for  more : 
and  away  went  Miss  Tag-rag,  hurried  away  by  her  excite- 
ment. Eondo  after  rondo,  march  after  march,  she  rattled 
over  for  at  least  half  an  hour  upon  those  hideous  jingling 
keys ;  at  the  end  of  which  old  Tag-rag  suddenly  kissed 
her  with  passionate  fondness.  Though  Mrs.  Tag-rag  was 
horrified  at  the  impiety  of  all  this,  she  kept  a  very  anx- 
ious eye  on  the  young  couple,  and  interchanged  with  her 
husband,  every  now  and  then,  very  significant  looks. 
Shortly  after  nine,  spirits,  wine,  and  hot  and  cold  water, 
were  brought  in.  At  the  sight  of  them  Titmouse  looked 
alarmed  —  for  he  knew  that  he  must  take  something 
more,  though  he  would  have  freely  given  five  shillings  to 
be  excused  —  for  he  felt  as  if  he  could  not  hold  another 
drop!  But  it  was  in  vain.  Willy-nilly,  a  glass  of  gin 
and  water  stood  soon  before  him ;  he  protested  he  could 
not  touch  it  unless  Miss  Tag-rag  would  "take  something" 

—  whereupon,  with  a  blush,   she  "thought  she  would" 


TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAli.  247 

take  a,  wine-glassful  of  sherry  and  water.  This  was  pro- 
vided her.  Then  Tag-rag  mixed  a  tumbler  of  port-wine 
negua  for  Mrs.  Tag-rag,  and  a  groat  glass  of  mahogany- 

eolored  brandy  and  water  for  himself;  and  then  he 
looked  round  the  elegant  little  apartment,  and  felt  per- 
fectly happy.  As  Titmouse  advanced  with  his  gin  and 
water,  his  spirits  got  higher  and  higher,  and  his  tongue 
more  fluent.  He  once  or  twice  dropped  the  "  Mr."  when 
addressing  Tag-rag  ;  several  times  smiled,  and  once  even 
winked  at  the  embarrassed  Miss  Tag-rag.  Mr.  Tag-rag 
saw  it,  and  could  not  control  himself —  for  he  had  got  to 
the  end  of  his  first  glass  of  brandy  and  water,  and  (a 
unusual  procedure  with  him)  mixed  himself  a  sec- 
ond quite  as  strong  as  the  former. 

"Tab!  ah,  Tab  !  what  has  been  the  matter  with  you 
all  these  months  I"  said  he,  chucking  her  under  the  chin 

—  and  then  he  winked  his  eye  at  her  and  then  at 
Titmouse. 

"  Papa  ;  "  exclaimed  Miss  Tag-rag,  looking  down,  and 
blushing  up  to  her  very  temples. 

"  Ah,  Titmouse  —  Titmouse  —  give  me  your  hand,"  said 
Tag-rag ;  "  you  Tl  forget  us  all  when  you  're  a  great  man 

—  but  we  shall  always  remember  you!" 

"  You  're  very  good  —  very  !  "  said  Titmouse,  cordially 
returning  the  pressure  of  Tag-rag's  hand.  At  that  in- 
stant it  suddenly  occurred  to  him  to  adopt  the  sugges- 
tion of  Mr.  Gammon.  Tag-rag  was  going  on  very  fast, 
indeed,  about  the  disinterested  nature  of  his  feelings  to- 
wards Titmouse ;  towards  whom,  he  said,  he  had  always 
felt  just  as  he  did  at  that  moment — 't  was  in  vain  to 
deny  it. 

"  I  'm  sure  your  conduct  shows  it,  sir,"  commenced  Tit- 
mouse, feeling  a  shudder  like  that  with  which  a  timid 
bather  approaches  the  margin  of  the  cold  stream.  "I 
could  have  taken  my  oath,  sir,  that  when  you  had  heard 


248  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

what  has  happened,  you  would  have  refused  to  let  me 
come  into  your  house  !  " 

"  Ah,  ha  !  —  that  'a  rather  an  odd  idea,  too !  "  said  Tag- 
rag,  with  good-humored  jocularity.  "  If  I  felt  a  true 
friendship  for  you  as  plain  Titmouse,  it 's  so  likely  I 
should  have  cut  you  just  when  —  ahem!  My  dear  sir! 
It  was  /  that  thought  you  would  n't  have  come  into  my 
house  !     A  likely  thing,  indeed  !  " 

Titmouse  was  puzzled.  His  perceptions,  never  very 
quick  or  clear,  were  now  undoubtedly  somewhat  obfus- 
cated with  what  he  had  been  drinking.  In  short,  he  did 
not  understand  that  Tag-rag  had  not  understood  him; 
and  felt  rather  baffled. 

"  What  surprising  ups  and  downs  there  are  in  life,  Mr. 
Titmouse!"  said  Mrs.  Tag-rag,  respectfully  —  "they're 
all  sent  from  above,  you  may  depend  upon  it,  to  try  us ! 
No  one  knows  how  they  'd  behave,  if  as  how  (in  a  man- 
ner) they  were  turned  upside  down." 

"I  —  I  hope,  mem,  I  haven't  done  anything  to  show 
that  /" ■ 

"  Oh  !  my  dear  Titmouse,"  anxiously  interrupted  Tag- 
rag,  inwardly  cursing  his  wife,  who,  finding  she  always 
went  wrong  in  her  husband's  eyes  whenever  she  spoke  a 
word,  determined  for  the  future  to  stick  to  her  negus  — 
"  The  fact  is,  there  's  a  Mr.  Horror  here  that 's  for  send- 
ing all  decent  people  to .     He  's  filled  my  wife  there 

with  all  sorts  of nay,  if  she  isn't  bursting  with  cant 

—  so  never  mind  her !  You  done  anything  wrong !  I 
will  say  this  for  you  —  you  always  was  a  pattern  of  mod- 
esty and  propriety  —  your  hand,  my  dear  Titmouse  !  " 

"  Well  —  I  'm  a  happy  man  again,"  resumed  Titmouse, 
resolved  now  to  go  on  with  his  adventure.  "  And  when 
did  they  tell  you  of  it,  sir  ? " 

"  Oh,  a  few  days  ago  —  a  week  ago,"  replied  Tag-rag,  try- 
ing to  recollect. 


TEN    THOUSAND    A-YEAK.  249 

"  Why  —  why  —  sir  —  aVt  you  mistaken  1 "  inquired 
Titmouse,  with  a  depressed,  but  at  the  same  time  a  sur- 
prised air.  "It  oulv  happened  this  morning,  after  you 
left" 

"  Eh  .'—eli  I— ah,  ha  !  —  What  do  you  mean,  Mr.  Tit- 
mouse \"  interrupted  Tag-rag,  with  a  faint  attempt  at  a 
smile.  Mis.  Tag-rag  and  Miss  Tag-rag  also  turned  ex- 
ceedingly Startled  faces  towards  Titmouse,  who  felt  as  if 
a  house  were  going  to  fall  down  on  him. 

••  Why,  sir,"  he  began  to  cry,  (an  attempt  which  was 
greatly  aided  by  the  maudlin  condition  to  which  drink 
had  reduced  him.)  "  till  to-day,  I  thought  I  was  heir  to 
ten  thousand  a-year,  and  it  seems  I'm  not;  it 'sail  a  mis- 
take of  those  cursed  people  at  Saffron  Hill ! " 

'a  face  changed  visibly,  and  showed  the  desperate 
shock  he  had  just  sustained.  His  inward  agony  was  forc- 
ing out  on  his  slanting  forehead  a  dew  of  perspiration. 

"  What  —  a  —  capital  — joke  —  Mr.  —  Titmouse  —  ah, 
ha!  "  —  he  gasped,  hastily  passing  his  handkerchief  over 
his  forehead.  Titmouse,  though  greatly  alarmed,  stood 
to  his  gun  pretty  steadily. 

"I  —  I  wish  it  was  a  joke  !  It 's  been  no  joke  to  me, 
sir.  There 's  another  Tittlebat  Titmouse,  it  seems,  in 
Shorediteh,  that's  the  right" 

"  Who  told  you  this,  sir  ]  Pho,  I  don't  —  I  can't  be- 
lieve it,"  said  Tag-rag,  in  a  voice  tremulous  between  sup- 
pressed rage  and  fear. 

"  Too  true,  though,  'pon  my  life  !  It  is,  so  help  me 
!  "  in  the  most  earnest  and  solemn  manner. 

"  How  dare  you  swear  before  ladies,  sir  ?  You  're  in- 
Bulting  them,  .sir!  "  cried  Tag-rag,  trembling  with  rage. 
'•  And  in  m 'j  presence,  too,  sir  1  You  're  not  a  gentleman  !  " 
He  suddenly  dropped  his  voice,  and  in  a  trembling  and 
almost  beseeching  manner,  asked  Titmouse  whether  he 
illy  joking  or  serious. 


250  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

"Never  more  serious  in  my  life,  sir;  and  enough  to 
make  me  so,  sir ! "  replied  Titmouse,  in  a  lamentable 
manner. 

"  You  really  mean,  then,  to  tell  me  it 's  all  a  mistake, 
then  —  and  that  you  're  no  more  than  what  you  always 
were  1 "  inquired  Tag-rag,  with  a  desperate  attempt  to 
speak  calmly. 

"Oh  yes,  sir!  Yes!"  cried  Titmouse,  mournfully; 
"  and  if  you  '11  only  be  so  kind  as  to  let  me  serve  you  as 
I  used  —  I  '11  serve  you  faithfully  !  You  know  it  was  no 
fault  of  mine,  sir  !     They  would  tell  me  it  was  so  !  " 

'Tis  impossible  to  conceive  a  more  disgusting  expres- 
sion than  the  repulsive  features  of  Tag-rag  wore  at  that 
moment,  while  he  gazed  in  ominous  and  agitated  silence 
at  Titmouse.  His  lips  quivered,  and  he  seemed  incapa- 
ble of  speaking. 

"  Oh,  ma,  I  do  feel  so  ill !  "  faintly  exclaimed  Miss  Tag- 
rag,  turning  deadly  pale.  Titmouse  was  on  the  verge  of 
dropping  on  his  knees  and  confessing  the  trick,  greatly 
agitated  at  the  effect  unexpectedly  produced  on  Miss  Tag- 
rag  ;  when  Tag-rag's  heavy  hand  was  suddenly  placed  on 
his  shoulder,  and  he  whispered  in  a  fierce  undertone  — 
"  You  're  an  impostor,  sir  ! "  which  arrested  Titmouse, 
and  made  something  like  a  man  of  him.  He  was  a  fear- 
ful fool,  but  he  did  not  want  for  mere  pluck  ;  and  now  it 
was  roused.  Mrs.  Tag-rag  exclaimed,  "  Oh,  you  shocking 
scamp ! "  as  she  passed  Titmouse,  with  much  agitation, 
and  led  her  daughter  out  of  the  room. 

"  Then  an  impostor,  sir,  a'n't  fit  company  for  you,  of 
course,  sir ! "  said  Titmouse,  rising,  and  trembling  with 
mingled  apprehension  and  anger. 

"  Pay  me  my  five-pound  note !  "  almost  shouted  Tag- 
rag,  furiously  tightening  the  grasp  by  which  he  held 
Titmouse's  collar. 

"  Well,  sir,  and  I  will,  if  you  '11  only  take  your  hand  off! 


TEN   THOUSAND    A-YKAK.  251 

Hollo,  sir  —  What  the  do Leave  go,  sir!     Hands  off! 

Are  you  going  to  murder  me  1  I  '11  pay  you,  and  done 
with  you,  sir,"  stammered  Titmouse :  —  when  a  faint 
scream  was  heard,  plainly  from  Miss  Tag-rag,  overhead, 
and  in  hysterics.  Then  the  seething  caldron  boiled  over. 
M  You  infernal  scoundrel  !  "  exclaimed  Tag-rag,  almost 
choked  with  fury  j  and  suddenly  seizing  Titmouse  by  the 
collar,  scarce  giving  him  time,  in  passing,  to  get  hold  of 
his  bat  and  stick,  he  urged  him  along  through  the  pas- 
down  the  gravel  walk,  threw  open  the  gate,  thrust 
him  furiously  through  it,  and  sent  after  him  such  a  blast 
of  execration,  as  was  almost  strong  enough  to  drive  him 
a  hundred  yards  down  the  road  !  Titmouse  did  not  fully 
recover  his  breath  or  his  senses  for  a  loug  while  after- 
wards. When  he  did,  the  first  thing  he  experienced,  was 
a  dreadful  disposition  towards  sickness  ;  but  gradually 
overcoming  it,  he  felt  an  inclination  to  fall  down  on  his 
knees  in  the  open  road,  and  worship  the  sagacious  and 
admirable  Gammon,  who  had  so  exactly  predicted  what 
had  come  to  pass ! 

And  now,  Mr.  Titmouse,  for  some  little  time  I  have 

done  with  you.     Away  !  —  give   room  to   your   betters. 

But  don't  think  that  I  have  yet  "rifled  all  your  sweet - 

"  or  am  yet  about  to  "  fling  you  like  a  noisome  weed 

away." 


252  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 


CHAPTER  VII. 

While  the  lofty  door  of  a  house  in  Grosvenor  Street  was 
yet  quivering  under  the  shock  of  a  previously  announced 
dinner-arrival,  one  of  the  two  servants  standing  behind  a 
carriage  which  approached  from  the  direction  of  Picca- 
dilly, slipped  off,  and  in  a  twinkling,  with  a  thun-thun- 
thunder-under-under,  thunder-runder-runder,  thun-thun- 
thun  !  and  a  shrill  thrilling  Whir-r-r  of  the  bell,  announced 

the  arrival  of  the  Duke  of ,  the  last  guest.     It  was  a 

large  and  plain  carriage,  but  perfectly  well  known ;  and 
before  the  door  of  the  house  at  which  it  had  drawn  up 
had  been  opened,  displaying  some  four  or  five  servants 
standing  in  the  hall,  in  simple  but  elegant  liveries,  some 
half-dozen  passengers  had  stopped  to  see  get  out  of  the 
carriage  an  elderly,  middle-sized  man,  with  a  somewhat 
spare  figure,  dressed  in  plain  black  clothes,  with  iron-gray 
hair,  and  a  countenance  which,  once  seen,  was  not  to  be 
forgotten.  That  was  a  great  man  ;  one,  the  like  of  whom 
many  previous  centuries  had  not  seen ;  whose  name  shot 
terror  into  the  hearts  of  all  the  enemies  of  old  England 
all  over  the  world,  and  fond  pride  and  admiration  into 
the  hearts  of  his  fellow-countrymen. 

"  A  quarter  to  eleven  ! "  he  said,  in  a  quiet  tone,  to  the 
servant  who  was  holding  open  the  carriage  door  —  while 
the  bystanders  took  off  their  hats ;  a  courtesy  which  he 
acknowledged,  as  he  slowly  stepped  across  the  pavement, 
by  touching  his  hat  in  a  mechanical  sort  of  way  with  his 
forefinger.  The  house-door  then  closed  upon  him ;  the 
handful  of  onlookers  passed  away ;  off  rolled  the  empty 


TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAK.  253 

carriage,  and  all  without  was  quiet  as  before.  The  house 
was  that  of  Mr.  Aubrey,  one  of  the  members  for  the  bor- 
ough of  Yatton,  in  Yorkshire  —  a  man  of  rapidly  ris- 
ing importance  in  Parliament.  Surely  his  was  a  pleasant 
position  —  that  of  an  independent  country  gentleman,  a 
member  of  one  of  the  most  ancient  noble  families  in  Eng- 
land, with  a  clear  unencumbered  rent-roll  of  ten  thousand 
a-year,  and  already,  in  only  his  thirty-fourth  year,  the 
spokesman  of  his  class,  and  promising  to  become  one  of 
the  ablest  debaters  in  the  House  !  Parliament  having 
been  assembled,  in  consequence  of  a  particular  emergency, 
at  a  much  earlier  period  than  usual,  the  House  of  Com- 
mons, in  which  Mr.  Aubrey  had  the  evening  before  de- 
livered a  well-timed  and  powerful  speech,  had  adjourned 
for  the  Christmas  recess,  the  House  of  Lords  being  about 
to  follow  its  example  that  evening  :  an  important  divi- 
sion, however,  being  first  expected  to  take  place  at  a  late 
hour.  Mr.  Aubrey  was  warmly  complimented  on  his 
success  by  several  of  the  select  and  brilliant  circle  then 
assembled  ;  and  who  were  all  in  high  spirits  —  on  account 
of  a  considerable  triumph  just  obtained  by  their  party, 
and  to  which  Mr.  Aubrey  was  assured,  by  even  the  Duke 
of ,  his  exertions  had  certainly  not  a  little  contrib- 
uted. While  his  Grace  was  energetically  intimating  to 
Mr.  Aubrey  his  opinion  to  this  effect,  there  were  two 
lovely  women  listening  to  him  with  intense  eagerness  — 
they  were  the  wife  and  sister  of  Mr.  Aubrey.  The  for- 
mer was  a  very  interesting  and  handsome  woman  —  with 
raven  hair,  and  a  complexion  of  dazzling  fairness — of 
dearly  eight-and-twenty  ;  the  latter  was  a  very  beautiful 
girl,  somewhere  between  twenty  and  twenty-one.  Both 
were  dressed  with  the  utmost  simplicity  and  elegance. 
Mrs.  Aubrey,  most  dotingly  fond  of  her  husband,  and  a 
blooming  young  mother  of  two  as  charming  children  as 
were  to  be  met  with  in  a  day's  walk  all  over  both  the 


254  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

parks,  was,  in  character  and  manners,  all  pliancy  and 
gentleness ;  while  about  Miss  Aubrey  there  was  a  dash 
of  spirit  which  gave  an  infinite  zest  to  her  beauty.  Her 
bine  eyes  beamed  with  the  richest  expression  of  feeling  — 
in  short,  Catherine  Aubrey  was,  both  in  face  and  figure, 
a  downright  English  beauty  ;  and  she  knew  —  truth 
must  be  told  —  that  such  she  appeared  to  the  Great 
Duke,  whose  cold  aquiline  eye  she  often  felt  to  be  settled 
upon  her  with  satisfaction.  The  fact  was  that  he  had 
penetrated  at  a  first  glance  beneath  the  mere  surface  of 
an  arch,  sweet,  and  winning  manner,  and  detected  a  cer- 
tain strength  of  character  in  Miss  Aubrey  which  gave 
him  more  than  usual  interest  in  her,  and  spread  over  his 
iron-cast  features  a  pleasant  expression,  relaxing  their 
sternness.  It  might  indeed  be  said,  that  before  her,  in 
his  person, 

"  Grim-visaged  war  had  smooth'd  liis  wrinkled  front." 

'T  was  a  subject  for  a  painter,  that  delicate  and  bloom- 
ing girl,  her  auburn  hair  hanging  in  careless  grace  on 
each  side  of  her  white  forehead,  while  her  eyes, 

"  That  might  have  sooth'd  a  tiger's  rage, 
Or  thaw'd  the  cold  heart  of  a  conqueror," 

were  fixed  with  absorbed  interest  on  the  stern  and  rigid 
countenance  which  she  reflected  had  been,  as  it  were,  a 
thousand  times  darkened  with  the  smoke  of  the  grisly 
battle-field.  But  I  must  not  forget  that  there  are  others 
in  the  room;  and  among  them,  standing  at  a  little  dis- 
tance, is  Lord  De  la  Zouch,  one  of  Mr.  Aubrey's  neighbors 
in  Yorkshire.  Apparently  he  is  listening  to  a  brother 
peer  talking  to  him  very  earnestly  about  the  expected 
division ;  but  Lord  De  la  Zouch's  eye  is  fixed  on  you, 
lovely  Kate  —  and  how  little  can  you  imagine  what  is 
passing  through  his  mind  !     It  has  just  occurred  to  him 


TEN    THOUSAND    A-YKAK.  255 

that  his  sudden  arrangement  for  young  Delamere  —  his 

only  Bon  and  heir,  oome  up  the  day  before  from  Oxford  — 
to  call  for  him  about  half-past  ten,  and  take  his  place  in 
Mrs.    Aubrey's  drawing-room,  while   Lord  De  la  Zouch 
lown  to  the   House  —  may  be  attended  with  certain 
[uenoes  !     Be  is  in  truth  speculating  on  the  effect 
of  your  beauty  bursting  suddenly  on  his  son  —  who  has 
not  seen  you   for  nearly  two  years  !  all    this  gives  him 
anxiety  —  but  not  painful  anxiety  —  for,  dear  Kate,   he 
knows  that  your  forehead  would  wear  the  ancient  coronet 
of  the  De  la  /'inches  with  grace  and  dignity.     But  Dela- 
mere is  as  yet  too  young  —  and  if  he  gets  the  image  of 
Catherine  Aubrey  into  his  head,  it  will,  fears  his  father, 
itly  east   into  the  shade  and  displace  all  the  stern 
those  old  geometers,  poets,  orators,  historians, 
philosophers,  and   statesmen,  who  ought,  in   Lord  De  la 
id  his  son's  tutor's  judgment,  to  occupy  exclu- 
sively the  head  of  the  aforesaid  Delamere  for   some  five 
years    to    come.      That    youngster  —  happy    fellow  !  — 
frank,  high-spirited,  and  enthusiastic  —  and  handsome  to 
boot  —  was  heir  to  an   ancient   title   and  very  great   es- 
:  all  that  his  father  had  considered  in  looking  out 
for  an  alliance  was  — youth,  health,  beauty,  blood  —  here 
they   all   were;  —  and  fort  ane   too  —  bah!    what  did   it 
signify  to  his  son  —  but  at   any   rate   't  was   not  to    be 
thought  of  for  some  years. 

wSup]     -  ."  Baid  he,  aloud,  though  in  a  musing  manner, 

"  one  were  to  say  —  twenty-four  " 

"  Twenty-four/"  echoed  his  companion,  with  amazement; 

*  my  dear  De  la  Zouch,  what  the  deuce  do  you  mean  1 

ur  at  the  very  lowest!" 

"  Eh  )  what]  oh — yes  of  course  —  T  should  say  ninety 

—  I  mean  —  hem  !  — they  will  muster  about  twenty-four 

only." 

"Ah  —  I   beg   your   pardon! — there  you're   right,    I 


256  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

dare  say."  —  Here  the  announcement  of  dinner  put  an 
end  to  the  colloquy  of  the  two  statesmen.  Lord  De  la 
Zouch  led  down  Miss  Aubrey  with  an  air  of  the  most 
delicate  and  cordial  courtesy;  and  felt  almost  disposed, 
in  the  heat  of  the  moment,  to  tell  her  that  he  had  ar- 
ranged all  in  his  own  mind  —  that  if  she  willed  it,  she  had 
his  hearty  consent  to  become  the  future  Lady  De  la  Zouch. 
He  was  himself  the  eleventh  who  had  come  to  the  title  in 
direct  descent  from  father  to  son  ;  't  was  a  point  he  was 
not  a  little  nervous  and  anxious  about  —  he  detested  col- 
lateral succession  —  and  he  made  himself  infinitely  agree- 
able to  Miss  Aubrey  as  he  sat  beside  her  at  dinner  !    The 

Duke  of sat  on  the  right  hand  side  of  Mrs.  Aubrey, 

seemingly  in  high  spirits,  and  she  appeared  proud  enough 
of  her  supporter.  It  was  a  delightful  dinner-party,  elegant 
without  ostentation,  and  select  without  pretence  of  exclu- 
siveness.  All  were  cheerful  and  animated,  not  merely  on 
account  of  the  over-night's  parliamentary  victory,  which 
I  have  already  alluded  to,  but  also  in  contemplation  of 
the  coming  Christmas ;  how,  and  where,  and  with  whom 
each  was  to  spend  that  "  righte  merrie  season,"  being  the 
chief  topic  of  conversation.  As  there  was  nothing  pecu- 
liar in  the  dinner,  and  as  I  have  no  turn  for  describing 
such  matters  in  detail  —  the  clatter  of  plate,  the  jingling 
of  silver,  the  sparkling  of  wines,  and  so  forth  —  I  shall 
request  the  reader  to  imagine  himself  led  by  me  quietly 
out  of  the  dining-room  into  the  library — thus  escaping 
from  all  the  bustle  and  hubbub  attendant  upon  such  an 
entertainment  as  is  going  on  in  front  of  the  house.  We 
shall  be  alone  in  the  library  —  here  it  is  ;  we  enter  it,  and 
shut  the  door.  'T  is  a  spacious  room,  all  the  sides  covered 
with  books,  of  which  Mr.  Aubrey  is  a  great  collector  — 
and  the  clear  red  fire  (which  we  must  presently  replenish, 
or  it  will  go  out)  is  shedding  a  subdued  ruddy  light  on 
all  the  objects  in  the  room,  very  favorable  for  our  pur- 


TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR.  257 

pose.  The  ample  table  is  covered  with  books  and  papers; 
and  there  is  an  antique-looking  arm-chair  drawn  opposite 
to  the  fire,  in  which  Mr,  Aubrey  has  been  indulging  in  a 
long  lvverv  till  the  moment  of  (putting  it  to  go  and  dress 
for  dinner.  This  ehair  I  shall  sit  in  myself;  you  may 
draw  out  from  the  recess  for  yourself  one  of  two  little 
sloping  easy-chairs,  which  have  been  placed  there  by  Mrs. 
and  Miss  Aubrey  for  their  own  sole  use,  considering  that 
they  are  excellent  judges  of  the  period  at  which  Mr.  Au- 
brey has  been  long  enough  alone,  and  at  which  they 
should  come  in  and  gossip  with  him.  We  may  as  well 
draw  the  dusky  green  curtains  across  the  window,  through 
which  the  moon  shines  at  present  rather  too  brightly.  — 
So  now,  after  coaxing  up  the  fire,  T  will  proceed  to  tell 
you  a  little  bit  of  pleasant  family  history. 

The  Aubreys  are  a  Yorkshire  family  —  the  younger 
branch  of  the  ancient  and  noble  family  of  the  Dreddling- 
tons.  Their  residence,  Yatton,  is  in  the  north-eastern 
part  of  the  county,  not  above  fifteen  or  twenty  miles  from 
the  sea.  The  hall  is  one  of  those  old  structures,  the  sight 
of  which  throws  you  back  a  couple  of  centuries  in  our 
English  history.  It  stands  in  a  park,  crowded  with  trees, 
many  of  them  of  great  age  and  size,  and  under  which  two 
or  three  hundred  head  of  deer  perform  their  capricious 
and  graceful  gambols.  In  approaching  from  London,  you 
strike  off  from  the  great  north  road  into  a  broad  by-way ; 
after  going  down  which  for  about  a  mile,  you  come  to  a 
straggling  little  village  called  Yatton,  at  the  farther  ex- 
tremity of  which  stands  a  little  aged  gray  church,  with 
a  tall  thin  spire;  an  immense  yew-tree,  with  a  kind  of 
friendly  gloom,  overshadowing,  in  the  little  churchyard, 
nearly  half  the  graves.  Rather  in  the  rear  of  the  church 
is  the  vicarage-house,  snug  and  sheltered  by  a  line  of  fir- 
trees.  After  walking  on  about  eighty  yards,  you  come 
to  high  park-gates,  and  see  a  lodge  just  within,  on  the 
vol.  i.  — 17 


258  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

left  hand  side,  sheltered  by  an  elm-tree.  Having  passed 
through  these  gates,  you  wind  your  way  for  about  two- 
thirds  of  a  mile  along  a  gravel  walk,  among  the  thicken- 
ing trees,  till  you  come  to  a  ponderous  old  crumbling 
looking  red  brick  gateway  of  the  time  of  Henry  VII., 
with  one  or  two  deeply  set  stone  windows  in  the  turrets, 
and  mouldering  stone-capped  battlements  peeping  through 
high-climbing  ivy.  There  is  an  old  escutcheon  immedi- 
ately over  the  point  of  the  arch ;  and  as  you  pass  under- 
neath, if  you  look  up,  you  can  plainly  see  the  groove  of 
the  old  portcullis  still  remaining.  Having  passed  under 
this  castellated  remnant,  you  enter  a  kind  of  court  formed 
by  a  high  wall  completely  covered  with  ivy,  running  along 
in  a  line  from  the  right  hand  turret  of  the  gateway  till  it 
joins  the  house.  Along  its  course  are  a  number  of  yew- 
trees.  In  the  centre  of  the  open  space  is  a  quaintly 
disposed  grass-plot,  dotted  about  with  stunted  box,  and 
in  the  centre  of  that  stands  a  weather-beaten  stone 
sundial. 

The  house  itself  is  a  large  irregular  pile  of  dull  red 
brickwork,  with  great  stacks  of  chimneys  in  the  rear ;  the 
body  of  the  building  has  evidently  been  erected  at  differ- 
ent times.  Some  part  is  evidently  in  the  style  of  Queen 
Elizabeth's  reign,  another  in  that  of  Queen  Anne ;  and  it 
is  plain  that  on  the  site  of  the  present  structure  has  for- 
merly stood  a  castle.  There  are,  indeed,  traces  of  the  old 
moat  still  visible  round  the  rear  of  the  house.  One  of  the 
ancient  towers,  with  small  deep  stone  windows,  still  re- 
mains, giving  its  venerable  support  to  the  right  hand  ex- 
tremity of  the  building,  as  you  stand  with  your  face  to 
the  door.  The  long  frontage  of  the  house  consists  of  two 
huge  masses  of  dusky-red  brickwork,  (you  can  hardly  call 
them  wings,)  connected  together  by  a  lower  building  in 
the  centre,  which  contains  the  hall.  There  are  three  or 
four  rows  of  long  thin  deep  windows,  with  heavy-looking 


TEX  THOUSAND  A-YEAR.  259 

wooden  sashes.  The  high-pitched  roof  is  of  red  tiles,  and 
has  deep  projecting  eaves,  forming,  in  fact,  a  bold  wooden 
cornice  running  along  the  whole  length  of  the  building, 
which  is  some  two  or  three  stories  high.  At  the  left  ex- 
tremity stands  a  clump  of  ancient  cedars  of  Lebanon, 
feathering  in  evergreen  beauty  down  to  the  ground.  The 
hall  is  large  and  lofty  ;  the  tloor  is  of  polished  oak,  almost 
the  whole  of  which  is  covered  with  thick  matting;  it  is 
wainscoted  all  round  with  black  oak  ;  some  seven  or  eight 
full  length  pictures,  evidently  of  considerable  antiquity, 
being  let  into  the  panels.  Quaint  figures  these  are  to  be 
sure  ;  and  if  they  resembled  the  ancestors  of  the  Aubrey 
family,  those  ancestors  must  have  been  singular  and  start- 
ling persons  !  The  faces  are  quite  white  and  staring  — 
all  as  if  in  wonder;  and  they  have  such  long  thin  legs! 
some  of  them  ending  in  sharp-pointed  shoes.  On  each 
if  the  ample  fireplace  stands  a  figure  in  full  armor ; 
and  there  are  also  ranged  along  the  wall  old  helmets,  cui- 
rasses, swords,  lances,  battle-axes,  and  cross-bows,  the  very 
idea  of  wearing,  wielding,  and  handling  which,  makes  your 
arms  ache,  while  you  exclaim,  "  they  must  have  been  giants 
in  those  days  ! "  On  one  side  of  this  hall,  a  door  opens 
into  the  dining-room,  beyond  which  is  the  library  ;  on  the 
other  side  a  door  leads  you  into  a  noble  room,  now  called 
the  drawing-room,  where  stands  a  very  fine  organ.  Out 
of  both  the  dining-room  and  drawing-room  you  pass  up  a 
staircase  contained  in  an  old  square  tower;  two  sides  of 
each  of  them,  opening  on  the  quadrangle,  lead  into  a  gal- 
lery running  round  it,  and  into  which  all  the  bed-rooms 
open. 

Bui  I  need  not  go  into  further  detail.  Altogether  it  is 
truly  a  tine  old  mansion.  Its  only  constant  occupant  is 
.Mr-.  Aubrey,  the  mother  of  Mr.  Aubrey,  in  whose  library 
we  are  now  seated.  She  is  a  widow,  having  survived  her 
husband,  who  twice  was  one  of  the  county  members,  about 


260  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAK. 

fifteen  years.  Mr.  Aubrey  is  her  first-born  child,  Miss 
Aubrey  her  last ;  four  intervening  children  rest  prema- 
turely in  the  grave  —  and  the  grief  and  suffering  conse- 
quent upon  all  these  bereavements  have  sadly  shaken  her 
constitution,  and  made  her,  both  in  actual  health,  and  in 
appearance,  at  least  ten  years  older  than  she  really  is  — 
for  she  has,  in  point  of  fact,  not  long  since  entered  her 
sixtieth  year.  What  a  blessed  life  she  leads  at  Yatton  ! 
Her  serene  and  cheerful  temper  makes  every  one  happy 
about  her  ;  and  her  charity  is  unbounded,  but  dispensed 
with  a  just  discrimination.  One  way  or  another,  almost 
a  fourth  of  the  village  are  direct  pensioners  upon  her 
bounty.  You  have  only  to  mention  the  name  of  Madam 
Aubrey,  the  lady  of  Yatton,  to  witness  involuntary  hom- 
age paid  to  her  virtues.  Her  word  is  law ;  and  well  in- 
deed it  may  be.  While  Mr.  Aubrey,  her  husband,  was, 
to  the  last,  somewhat  stern  in  his  temper  and  reserved  in 
his  habits,  bearing  withal  a  spotless  and  lofty  character, 
she  was  always  what  she  still  is,  meek,  gentle,  accessible, 
charitable,  and  pious.  On  his  death  she  withdrew  from 
the  world,  and  has  ever  since  resided  at  Yatton  —  never 
having  quitted  it  for  a  single  day.  There  are  in  the  vi- 
cinity one  or  two  stately  families,  with  ancient  name, 
sounding  title,  and  great  possessions ;  but  for  ten  miles 
round  Yatton,  old  Madam  Aubrey,  the  squire's  mother,  is 
the  name  that  is  enshrined  in  people's  kindliest  and  most 
grateful  feelings,  and  receives  their  readiest  homage.  'T  is 
perhaps  a  very  small  matter  to  mention,  but  there  is  at 
the  hall  an  old  white  mare,  Peggy,  that  for  these  twenty 
years,  in  all  weathers,  hath  been  the  bearer  of  Madam's 
bounty.  Thousands  of  times  hath  she  carried  Jacob  Jones 
(now  a  pensioned  servant,  whose  hair  is  as  white  as  Peg- 
gy's) all  over  the  estate,  and  also  oft  beyond  it,  with  com- 
fortable matters  for  the  sick  and  poor.  Most  commonly 
there  are  a  couple  of  stone  bottles  filled  with  cowslip,  cur- 


TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR.  261 

rant,  ginger,  or  elderberry  wine,  slang  before  him  over  the 
well-worn  saddle  —  to  the  carrying  of  which  Peggy  has  got 
so  accustomed,  that  she  does  not  go  comfortably  without 
them.  She  has  so  fallen  into  the  habits  of  old  Jones,  who 
is  an  inveterate  gossip,  (Madam  having  helped  to  make 
him  such  by  the  numerous  inquiries  she  makes  of  him 
every  morning  as  to  every  one  in  the  village  and  on 
the  estate,  and  which  inquiries  he  must  have  the  means 
of  answering,)  that,  slowly  as  she  jogs  along,  if  ever  she 
meets  or  is  overtaken  by  any  one,  she  stops  of  her  own  ac- 
cord, as  if  to  hear  what  they  and  her  rider  have  to  say  to 
one  another.  She  is  a  great  favorite  with  all,  and  gets  a 
mouthful  of  hay  or  grass  at  every  place  she  stops  at,  either 
from  the  children  or  the  old  people.  When  poor  Peggy 
comes  to  die,  (and  she  is  getting  feeble,  now,)  she  will  be 
missed  by  all  the  folk  round  Yatton  !  Madam  Aubrey, 
growing,  I  am  sorry  to  say,  less  able  to  exert  herself,  does 
not  go  about  as  much  as  she  used,  betaking  herself,  there- 
fore, oftener  and  oftener,  to  the  old  family  coach ;  and 
when  she  is  going  to  drive  about  the  neighborhood,  you 
may  almost  always  see  it  stop  at  the  vicarage  for  old  Dr. 
Tatham,  who  generally  accompanies  her.  On  these  occa- 
sions she  always  has  in  the  carriage  a  black  velvet  bag 
containing  Testaments  and  Prayer-books,  which  are  prin- 
cipally distributed  as  rewards  to  those  whom  the  parson 
can  recommend  as  deserving  of  them.  For  these  five-and- 
twenty  years  she  has  never  missed  giving  a  copy  of  each 
to  every  child  in  the  village  and  on  the  estate,  on  its  be- 
ing confirmed ;  and  the  old  lady  looks  round  very  keenly 
every  Sunday,  from  her  pew,  to  see  that  these  Bibles  and 
Prayer-books  are  reverently  used.  I  could  go  on  for  an 
hour  and  longer,  telling  you  these  and  other  such  matters 
of  this  exemplary  lady  ;  but  we  shall  by  and  b}r  have  some 
opportunities  of  seeing  and  knowing  more  of  her  person- 
ally.    Her  features  are  delicate,  and  have  been  very  hand- 


262  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

some ;  and  in  manner  she  is  very  calm,  and  quiet,  and 
dignified.  She  looks  all  that  you  would  expect  from  what 
I  have  told  you.  The  briskness  of  youth,  the  sedate  firm- 
ness of  middle-age,  have  years  since  given  place,  as  you 
will  see  with  some  pain,  to  the  feebleness  produced  by 
ill  health  and  mental  suffering  —  for  she  mourned  griev- 
ously after  those  whom  she  had  lost !  Oh  !  how  she  dotes 
upon  her  surviving  son  and  daughter  !  And  are  they  not 
worthy  of  such  a  mother  1 

Mr.  Aubrey  is  in  his  thirty-fourth  year ;  and  inherits 
the  mental  qualities  of  both  his  parents  —  the  demeanor 
and  person  of  his  father.  He  has  a  reserve  which  is  not 
cynical,  but  only  diffident ;  yet  it  gives  him,  at  least  at 
first  sight,  and  till  you  have  become  familiar  with  his 
features,  which  are  of  a  cast  at  once  refined  and  aristo- 
cratic, yet  full  of  goodness  —  an  air  of  hauteur,  which  is 
very  —  very  far  from  his  real  nature.  He  has  in  truth 
the  soft  heart  and  benignant  temper  of  his  mother,  joined 
with  the  masculine  firmness  of  character  which  belonged 
to  his  father;  which,  however,  is  in  danger  of  being 
seriously  impaired  by  inaction.  Sensitive  he  is,  perhaps 
to  a  fault.  There  is  a  tone  of  melancholy  in  his  compo- 
sition, which  has  probably  increased  upon  him  from  his 
severe  studies,  ever  since  his  youth.  He  is  a  man  of 
superior  intellect ;  a  capital  scholar ;  took  the  highest 
honor  at  Oxford  :  and  has  since  justified  the  expectations 
which  were  then  entertained  of  him.  He  has  made  seve- 
ral really  valuable  contributions  to  historic  literature  — 
indeed,  I  think  he  is  even  now  engaged  upon  some  re- 
searches calculated  to  throw  much  light  upon  the  obscure 
origin  of  several  of  our  political  institutions.  He  has 
entered  upon  politics  with  uncommon  —  perhaps  with  an 
excessive  —  ardor.  I  think  he  is  likely  to  make  an  emi- 
nent figure  in  Parliament ;  for  he  is  a  man  of  very  clear 
head,  very  patient,  of  business-like  habits,  ready  in  debate, 


TEX    THOUSAND    A-YEAU.  203 

and,  moreover,  has  at  once  an  impressive  and  engaging 
delivery  as  a  public  speaker.  lie  is  generous  and  charita- 
ble as  his  admirable  mother,  and  careless,  even  to  a  fault, 
of  his  pecuniary  interests.  He  is  a  man  of  perfect  sim- 
plicity and  purity  of  character.  Above  all,  his  virtues  are 
the  virtues  which  have  been  sublimed  by  Christianity  — 
as  it  were,  the  cold  embers  of  morality  warmed  into  reli- 
gion. He  stands  happily  equidistant  from  infidelity  and 
fanaticism.  He  has  looked  for  light  from  above,  and  has 
heard  a  voice  saying,  "This  is  the  way,  walk  thou  in  it." 
His  piety  is  the  real  source  of  that  happy  consistent  dig- 
nity, and  content,  and  firmness,  which  have  earned  him 
the  respect  of  all  who  know  him,  and  will  bear  him 
through  whatever  may  befall  him.  He  who  standeth 
upon  this  rock  cannot  be  moved,  perhaps  not  even 
touched,  by  the  surges  of  worldly  reverses  —  of  difficulty 
and  distress!  In  manner  Mr.  Aubrey  is  calm  and  gentle- 
manlike ;  in  person  he  is  rather  above  the  middle  height, 
and  of  slight  make.  From  the  way  in  which  his  clothes 
hang  about  him,  a  certain  sharpness  at  his  shoulders 
catching  the  eye  of  an  observer  —  you  would  feel  an  anx- 
iety about  his  health,  which  would  be  increased  by  hear- 
ing of  the  mortality  in  his  family ;  and  your  thoughts  are 
perhaps  pointed  in  the  same  direction,  by  a  glance  at  his 
long,  thin,  delicate,  white  hands.  His  countenance  has  a 
serene  manliness  about  it  when  in  repose,  and  great  acute- 
ness  and  vivacity  when  animated.  His  hair,  not  very 
full,  is  black  as  jet,  his  forehead  ample  and  marked  ; 
and  his  eyes  are  the  exponents  of  perfect  sincerity  and 
acute: . 

Mr.  Aubrey  has  been  married  about  six  years;  'twas 
a  case  of  love  at  first  sight.  Chance  (so  to  speak)  threw 
him  in  the  way  of  Agnes  St.  Clair,  within  a  few  weeks 
after  she  bad  been  bereaved  of  her  only  parent,  Colonel 
St.  Clair,  a  man  of  old  but  impoverished  family,  who  fell 


264  TEN   THOUSAND  A- YEAR. 

in  the  Peninsular  war.  Had  he  lived  only  a  month  or 
two  longer,  he  would  have  succeeded  to  a  considerable 
estate ;  as  it  was,  he  left  his  only  child  comparatively 
penniless ;  but  Heaven  had  endowed  her  with  personal 
beauty,  with  a  lovely  disposition,  and  superior  under- 
standing. It  was  not  till  after  a  long  and  anxious  wooing, 
backed  by  the  cordial  entreaties  of  Mrs.  Aubrey,  that  Miss 
St.  Clair  consented  to  become  the  wife  of  a  man,  who,  to 
this  hour,  loves  her  with  all  the  passionate  ardor  with 
which  she  had  first  inspired  him.  And  richly  she  de- 
serves his  love !  She  does,  indeed,  dote  upon  him ;  she 
studies,  or  rather,  perhaps,  anticipates  his  every  wish ;  in 
short,  had  the  whole  sex  been  searched  for  one  calculated 
to  make  happy  the  morbidly  fastidious  Aubrey,  the  choice 
must  surely  have  fallen  on  Miss  St.  Clair  ;  a  woman  whose 
temper,  whose  tastes,  and  whose  manners  were  at  once  in 
delicate  and  harmonizing  unison  and  contrast  with  his 
own.  She  has  hitherto  brought  him  but  two  children  — 
and  those  very  beautiful  children,  too  —  a  boy  between 
four  and  five  years  old,  and  a  girl  about  two  years  old. 
If  I  were  to  hint  my  own  impressions,  I  should  say  there 

was  a  probability be  that,  however,  as  it  may,  't  is 

an  affair  we  have  nothing  to  do  with  at  present. 

Of  Catherine  Aubrey  you  had  a  momentary  moonlight 
glimpse  at  a  former  period  of  this  history ; 14  and  you 
have  seen  her  this  evening  under  other,  and  perhaps  not 
less  interesting  circumstances.  Now,  where  have  you  be- 
held a  more  exquisite  specimen  of  budding  womanhood  1 
but  I  feel  that  I  shall  get  extravagant  if  I  begin  to  dwell 
upon  her  charms.  You  have  seen  her — judge  for  your- 
self; but  you  do  not  know  her  as  I  do  ;  and  I  shall  tell 
you  that  her  personal  beauty  is  but  a  faint  emblem  of  the 
beauties  of  her  mind  and  character.  She  is  Aubrey's 
youngest  —  now  his  only  sister;  and  he  cherishes  her 
with  the  tenderest  and  fondest  affection.     Neither  he,  nor 


TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR.  265 

his  mother  —  with  whom  she  spends  her  time  alternately 
—  can  boar  to  part  with  her  for  over  so  short  an  interval. 
She  is  the  gay,  romping  playmate  of  the  little  Aubreys  ; 
the  demure  secretary  and  treasurer  of  her  mother.  1  say 
demure,  for  there  is  a  sly  humor  and  archness  in  Kate's 
composition,  which  flickers  about  even  her  gravest  moods. 
She  is  calculated  equally  tor  the  seclusion  of  Yatton  and 
the  splendid  atmosphere  of  Almack's  ;  but  for  the  latter 
she  seems  at  present  to  have  little  inclination.  Kate  is 
a  girl  of  decided  character,  of  strong  sense,  of  high  princi- 
ple ;  all  of  which  are  irradiated,  not  overborne,  by  her 
sparkling  vivacity  of  temperament.  She  has  real  talent; 
and  her  mind  has  been  trained,  and  her  tastes  directed, 
with  affectionate  skill  and  vigilance  by  her  gifted  brother. 
She  has  many  accomplishments;  but  the  only  one  I  shall 
choose  here  to  name  is  —  music.  She  was  one  to  sing  and 
play  before  a  man  of  the  most  fastidious  taste  and  genius! 
I  defy  any  man  to  hear  the  rich  tones  of  Miss  Aubrey's 
voice  without  feeling  his  heart  moved.  Music  is  with  her 
a  matter  not  of  art  but  of  feeling  —  of  passionate  feeling; 
but  hark  !  —  hush  !  —  surely  —  yes,  that  is  Miss  Aubrey's 
voice  —  yes,  that  is  her  clear  and  brilliant  touch ;  the 
ladies  have  ascended  to  the  drawing-room,  and  we  must 

itly  follow  them.  How  time  has  passed!  I  had  a 
great  deal  more  to  tell  you  about  the  family,  but  we  must 
take  some  other  opportunity. 

.  it  u  Miss  Aubrey,  playing  on  the  new  and  superb 
piano  given  by  her  brother  last  week  to   Mrs.  Aubrey. 

>u  see  with  what  a  careless  grace  and  ease  she  is 
giving  a  very  sweet  but  difficult  composition  of  Haydn? 
The  lady  who  is  standing  by  her  to  turn  over  her  mu- 
sic, is  the  celebrated  Countess  of  Lydsdale.  She  is  still 
young  and  beautiful ;  but  beside  Miss  Aubrey  she  pre- 
11  ue what  painful  contrast !  'T  is  all  the  differ- 
ence between   an   artificial   and   a  natural  flower.     Poor 


2G6  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

Lady  Lydsdale  !  you  are  not  happy  with  all  your  fash- 
ion and  splendor ;  the  glitter  of  your  diamonds  cannot 
compensate  for  the  loss  of  the  sparkling  spirits  of  a  young- 
er day ;  they  pale  their  ineffectual  fires  beside  the  fresh 

and  joyous  spirit  of  Catherine  Aubrey  !     You  sigh 

"Now,  I'll  sing  you  quite  a  new  thing,"  said  Miss 
Aubrey,  starting  up,  and  turning  over  her  portfolio  till 
she  came  to  a  sheet  of  paper,  on  which  were  some  verses 
in  her  own  handwriting,  and  with  which  she  sat  down 
again  before  the  piano  :  "  The  words  were  written  by  my 
brother,  and  I  have  found  an  old  air  that  exactly  suits 
them  !  "  Here  her  fingers,  wandering  lightly  and  softly 
over  the  keys,  gave  forth  a  beautiful  symphony  in  the 
minor ;  after  which,  with  a  rich  and  soft  voice,  she  sang 
the  following  :  — 

PEACE. 


"Where,  0  where 

Hath  gentle  Peace  found  rest  ? 
Builds  she  in  bower  of  lady  fair  ?  — 
But  Love  —  he  hath  possession  there  ; 

Not  long  is  she  the  guest. 

II. 

Sits  she  crown'd 

Beneath  a  pictured  dome  ? 
But  there  Ambition  keeps  his  ground, 
And  Fear  and  Envy  skulk  around  ; 

This  cannot  be  her  home. 

III. 

Will  she  hide 

In  scholar's  pensive  cell  ? 
But  he  already  hath  his  bride  : 
Him  Melancholy  sits  beside  — 

"With  her  she  may  not  dwell. 


TEX   THOUSAND   A- YEAR.  2G7 


IV. 

Now  and  then, 
Peace,  wandering,  lavs  her  head 
On  regal  conch,  in  captive's  den  — 

1  Jut  nowhere  finds  .she  rest  with  men, 
Or  only  with  the  dead  ! 


To  these  words,  trembling  on  the  beautiful  lips  of  Miss 
Aubrey,  was  listening  an  unperceived  auditor,  with  eyes 
devouring  her  every  feature,  and  ears  absorbing  every 
tone  of  her  thrilling  voice.  It  was  young  Delamere,  who 
had,  only  a  moment  or  two  before  Miss  Aubrey  had  com- 
menced singing  the  above  lines,  alighted  from  his  father's 
carriage,  which  was  then  waiting  at  the  door  to  carry  off 
Lord  De  la  Zouch  to  the  House  of  Lords.  Arrested  by 
the  rich  voice  of  the  singer,  he  stopped  short  before  he 
had  entered  the  drawing-room  in  which  she  sat,  and  step- 
ping to  a  corner  where  he  was  hid  from  view,  though 
he  could  distinctly  see  Miss  Aubrey,  there  he  remained 
as  if  rooted  to  the  spot.  He,  too,  had  a  soul  for  music  ; 
and  the  exquisite  manner  in  which  Miss  Aubrey  gave 
the  last  verse,  called  up  before  his  excited  fancy  the 
vivid  image  of  a  dove  fluttering  with  agitated  uncertainty 
over  the  sea  of  human  life ;  even  like  the  dove  over  the 
waters  enveloping  the  earth  in  olden  time.  The  mourn- 
ful minor  into  which  she  threw  the  last  two  lines,  excited 
a  heart  susceptible  of  the  liveliest  emotions  to  a  degree 
which  it  required  some  effort  to  control,  and  almost  a 
tear  to  relieve.  When  Miss  Aubrey  had  quitted  the 
piano,  Mi's.  Aubrey  followed,  and  gave  a  very  delicate 
sonata  from  Haydn.  Then  sat  down  Lady  Lydsdale, 
and  dashed  off,  in  an  exceedingly  brilliant  style,  a  scena 
fv<>m  the  new  opera,  which  quickly  reduced  the  excited 
feelings  <»f  Delamere  to  a  pitch  admitting  of  his  present- 
ing himself !     While  this  lowering  process  was  going  on, 


268  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAK. 

Delamere  took  down  a  small  volume  from  a  tasteful  little 
cabinet  of  books  immediately  behind  him.  It  was  Spen- 
ser's Faery  Queen.  He  found  many  pencil-marks,  evi- 
dently made  by  a  light  female  hand  ;  and  turning  to  the 
fly-leaf,  beheld  the  name  of  "  Catherine  Aubrey"  His 
heart  fluttered  ;  he  turned  towards  the  piano,  and  beheld 
the  graceful  figure  of  Miss  Aubrey  standing  beside  Lady 
Lydsdale,  in  an  attitude  of  delighted  earnestness  —  for 
her  ladyship  was  undoubtedly  a  very  brilliant  performer 
—  totally  unconscious  of  the  admiring  eye  which  was 
fixed  upon  her.  After  gazing  at  her  for  some  moments, 
he  gently  pressed  the  autograph  to  his  lips  ;  and  solemnly 
vowed  within  himself,  in  the  most  deliberate  manner  pos- 
sible, that  if  he  could  not  marry  Kate  Aubrey,  he  wTould 
never  marry  anybody  ;  he  would,  moreover,  quit  England 
forever  ;  and  deposit  a  broken  heart  in  a  foreign  grave  — 
and  so  forth.  Thus  calmly  resolved  —  or  rather  to  such 
a  resolution  did  his  thoughts  tend  —  that  sedate  person, 
the  Honorable  Geoffrey  Lovel  Delamere.  He  was  a  high- 
spirited,  frank-hearted  fellow ;  and,  like  a  good-natured 
fool,  whom  bitter  knowledge  of  the  world  has  not  cooled 
down  into  contempt  for  a  very  considerable  portion  of  it, 
trusted  and  loved  almost  every  one  whom  he  saw\  At 
that  moment  there  was  only  one  person  in  the  whole 
world  that  he  hated,  viz.  the  miserable  individual  —  if 
any  such  there  were  —  who  might  have  happened  to  fore- 
stall him  in  the  affections  of  Miss  Aubrey.  The  bare  idea 
made  his  breath  come  and  go  quickly,  and  his  cheek 
flush.  Why,  he  felt  that  he  had  a  sort  of  right  to  Miss 
Aubrey's  heart;  for  had  they  not  been  born,  and  had 
they  not  lived  almost  all  their  lives,  within  a  few  miles 
of  each  other  %  Had  they  not  often  played  together  1  — 
were  not  their  family  estates  almost  contiguous  ?  —  Dela- 
mere advanced  into  the  room,  assuming  as  unconcerned 
an  air  as  he  could ;  but  he  felt  not  a  little  tried  when 


TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAK.  269 

Miss  Aubrey,  on  seeing  him,  gayly  and  frankly  extended 
her  hand  to  him,  supposing  him  to  have  only  the  moment 
before  entered  the  house.  Poor  Delamere's  hand  slightly 
quivered  as  he  felt  it  clasping  the  soft  lilied  fingers  of 
her  whom  he  had  thus  resolved  to  make  his  wife  :  what 
would  he  not  have  given  to  have  carried  them  to  his 
lips  !  Now,  if  I  were  to  say  that  in  the  course  of  that 
evening,  Miss  Aubrey  did  not  form  a  kind  —  of  a  sort  — 
of  a  faint  —  notion  of  the  possible  state  of  matters  with 
young  Delamere,  I  should  not  be  treating  the  reader 
with  that  eminent  degree  of  candor  for  which  I  think 
he,  or  she,  is  at  present  disposed  to  give  me  credit.  But 
Kate  was  deeply  skilled  in  human  nature,  and  promptly 
settled  the  matter  by  one  very  just  reflection,  viz.  that 
Delamere  was,  in  contemplation  of  law,  a  mere  infant  — 
i.  e.  he  wanted  yet  several  weeks  of  twenty-one  !  and, 
therefore,  that  it  was  not  likely  that,  &c.  &c.  &c.  And, 
besides  —  pooh  !  —  pooh  !  —  't  is  a  mere  boy,  at  College 
—  how  ridiculous  !  —  So  she  gave  herself  no  trouble 
about  the  affair ;  exhibited  no  symptoms  of  caution  or 
coyness,  but  conducted  herself  just  as  if  he  had  not  been 
present. 

He  was  a  handsome  young  fellow,  too  ! 

During  the  evening,  Mr.  Delamere  took  an  opportunity 
of  asking  Miss  Aubrey  who  wrote  the  verses  to  which 
he  pointed,  as  they  lay  on  the  piano.  The  handwriting, 
she  said,  was  hers,  but  the  verses  were  composed  by  her 
brother.  He  asked  for  the  copy,  with  a  slight  trepida- 
tion. She  readily  gave  it  to  him  —  he  receiving  it  with 
(as  he  supposed)  a  mighty  unconcerned  air.  He  read  it 
over  that  night,  before  getting  into  bed,  at  least  six  times; 
and  it  was  the  very  first  thing  he  looked  at  on  getting  out 
of  bed  in  the  morning.  Now  Miss  Aubrey  certainly  wrote 
an  elegant  hand  —  but  as  for  character,  of  course  it  had 
none.     He  could  scarcely  have  distinguished  it  from  the 


270  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

writing  of  any  of  his  cousins  or  friends ;  —  How  should 
he  1  All  women  are  taught  the  same  hard,  angular,  uni- 
form style  —  but  good,  bad,  or  indifferent,  this  was  Kate 
Aubrey* 8  handwriting — and  her  pretty  hand  had  rested 
on  the  paper  while  writing  —  that  was  enough.  He  re- 
solved to  turn  the  verses  into  every  kind  of  Greek  and 
Latin  metre  he  knew  of — 

In  short,  that  here  was  a  "  course  of  true  love  "  opened, 
seems  pretty  evident  :  but  whether  it  will  "  run  smooth  " 
is  another  matter. 

Their  guests  having  at  length  departed,  Mr.  Aubrey, 
his  wife,  and  sister,  soon  afterwards  rose  to  retire.  He 
went,  very  sleepy,  straight  to  his  dressing-room  ;  they  to 
the  nursery  —  (a  constant  and  laudable  custom  with  them) 

—  to  see  how  the  children  were  going  on,  as  far  as  could 
be  learned  from  the  drowsy  attendants  of  the  aforesaid 
children.  Little  Aubrey  would  have  reminded  you  of  one 
of  the  exquisite  sketches  of  children's  heads  by  Reynolds 
or  Lawrence,  as  he  lay  breathing  imperceptibly,  with  his 
rich  flowing  hair  spread  upon  the  pillow,  in  which  his  face 
was  partly  hid,  and  his  arms  stretched  out.  Mrs.  Aubrey 
put  her  finger  into  one  of  his  hands,  which  was  half  open, 
and  which  closed  as  it  were  instinctively  upon  it,  with 
a  gentle  pressure.  "  Look  —  only  look  —  Kate  !  "  softly 
whispered  Mrs.  Aubrey.  Miss  Aubrey  leaned  forward  and 
kissed  his  little  cheek  with  an  ardor  which  almost  awoke 
him.  After  a  glance  at  a  tiny  head  partly  visible  above 
the  clothes,  in  an  adjoining  bed,  and  looking  like  a  rose- 
bad  almost  entirely  hid  among  the  leaves,  they  withdrew. 

"  The  little  loves  !  —  how  one's  heart  thrills  with  looking 
at  them  !  "  said  Miss  Aubrey  as  they  descended.  "  Kate  ! " 
whispered  Mrs.  Aubrey,  with  an  arch  smile,  as  they  stood 
at  their  respective  chamber  doors,  which  adjoined,  "Mr. 
Delamere  is  improved  —  is  not  he?  —  Ah,  Kate!  Kate! 

—  I  understand  !  " 


TEX    THOUSAND    A-YE.VR.  2  <1 

'■  Agnes,  how  can  you"  —  hastily  answered  Miss  Au- 
brey, with  cheeks  suddenly  crimsoned.  "I  never  heard 
such  nonsense  " 

••  Night,  night,  Kate  !  think  over  it !  "  said  Mrs.  Aubrey, 
and  kissing  her  beautiful  sister-in  law,  the  next  moment  the 
blooming  wife  had  entered  her  bedroom.  Miss  Aubrey 
slipped  into  her  dressing-room,  where  Harriet,  her  maid, 
was  sitting  asleep  before  the  fire.  Her  lovely  mistress  did 
not  for  a  few  minutes  awake  her;  but  placing  her  candle- 
stick on  the  toilet  table,  stood  in  a  musing  attitude. 

"  It 's  so  perfectly  ridiculous,"  at  length  she  said 
aloud;  and  up  started  her  maid.  Within  half  an  hour 
Miss  Aubrey  was  in  bed,  but  by  no  means  asleep  ! 

The  next  morning,  about  eleven  o'clock,  Mr.  Aubrey 
1  in  the  library,  in  momentary  expectation  of 
his  letters  ;  and  a  few  moments  before  the  postman's  rat- 
tit  was  heard,  Mrs.  and  Miss  Aubrey  made  their  appear- 
ance, as  was  their  wont,  in  expectation  of  anything  which 
might  have  upon  the  cover,  in  addition  to  the  address  — 

"Charles  Aubrey,  Esq.,  M.  P.,"  &c.  &c.  &c, 

the  words,  "Mrs.  Aubrey,"  or  "Miss  Aubrey,"  in  the 
corner.  In  addition  to  this,  't  was  not  an  unpleasant 
thing  t  i  skim  over  the  contents  of  his  letters  !  as  one 
by  one  he  opened  them,  and  laid  them  aside ;  for  both 
these  fair  creatures  were  daughters  of  Eve,  and  inherited 
a  little  of  her  curiosity.  Mr.  Aubrey  was  always  some- 
what nervous  and  fidgety  on  such  occasions,  and  wished 
them  gone  ;  but  they  only  laughed  at  him,  so  he  was  fain 
to  put  up  with  them.  On  this  morning  there  were  more 
than  Mr.  Aubrey's  usual  number  of  letters;  and  in  cast- 
ing her  eye  over  them,  Mrs.  Aubrey  suddenly  took  up  one 
that  challenged  attention  ;  it  bore  a  black  seal,  had  a  deep 
black  bordering,  and  bore  the  frank  of  Lord  Alkmond,  at 


272  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

whose  house  in  Shropshire  they  had  for  months  been  en- 
gaged to  spend  the  ensuing  Christmas,  and  were  intending 
to  set  off  on  their  visit  the  very  next  day.  The  ominous 
missive  was  soon  torn  open ;  it  was  from  Lord  Alkmond 
himself,  who  in  a  few  hurried  lines  announced  the  sud- 
den death  of  his  brother;  so  that  there  was  an  end  of 
their  visit   to  the  Priory. 

"  Well !  "  exclaimed  Mr.  Aubrey,  calmly,  rising  after  a 
pause,  and  standing  with  his  back  to  the  lire,  in  a  musing 
posture. 

"  Has  he  left  any  family,  Charles  1 "  inquired  Mrs. 
Aubrey,  with  a  sigh,  her  eyes   still  fixed  on  the  letter. 

"I  —  I  really  don't  know  —  poor  fellow  !  We  lose  a 
vote  for  Fellington — we  shall,  to  a  certainty,"  he  added, 
with  an  air  of  chagrin  visibly  stealing  over  his  features. 

"  How  politics  harden  the  heart,  Charles !  Just  at  this 
moment  to  be" quoth  Mrs.  Aubrey. 

"It  is  too  bad,  Agnes,  I  own  —  but  you  see,"  said  Mr. 
Aubrey,  affectionately ;  suddenly,  however,  he  broke  off  — 
"  stay,  I  don't  know  either,  for  there  's  the  Grassingham 
interest  come  into  the  field  since  the  last " 

"  Charles,  I  do  really  almost  think,"  exclaimed  Mrs. 
Aubrey  with  sudden  emotion,  stepping  to  his  side,  and 
throwing  her  arms  round  him  affectionately,  "that  if  / 
were  to  die,  I  should  be  forgotten  in  a  fortnight  if  the 
House  were  sitting  " 

"  How  can  you  say  such  things,  my  love  ? "  inquired 
Mr.  Aubrey,  kissing  her  forehead. 

"  When  Agnes  was  born,  you  know,"  she  murmured 
inarticulately.  Her  husband  folded  her  tenderly  in  his 
arms  in  silence.  On  the  occasion  she  alluded  to,  he 
had  nearly  lost  her  j  and  they  both  had  reason  to  ex- 
pect that  another  similar  season  of  peril  was  not  very 
distant. 
"Now,  Charles,  you  can't  escape,"  said  Miss  Aubrey, 


TEX    THOUSAND   A-YK.VU.  273 

presently,  assuming  a  cheerful  tone  ;  "  now  for  dear  old 
Yatron  !" 

"Yes,  Vatton  !  Positively  you  must!"  added  Mrs. 
Aubrey,  smiling  through  her  tear-. 

"Whatl  Go  to  Vatton  I"  said  Mr.  Aubrey,  shaking 
his   head  and   smiling.      u  Nonsense  J    1 — i  —  t  ca  —  n't 

—  be  —  done  !  —  Why,  we  must  set  off  to-morrow  ! 
They  've    had   no    warning  !  " 

"What  warning  does  mamma  require,  Charles'?"  in- 
quired his  sister,  eagerly.  k'  Is  n't  the  dear  old  place  al- 
ways in  apple-pie  order?" 

"  How  you  love  the  '  dear  old  place,'  Kate ! "  ex- 
claimed Mr.  Aubrey,  in  such  an  affectionate  tone  as 
brought  his  sister  in  an  instant  to  his  side,  to  urge  on 
her  suit  ;  and  there  stood  the  lord  of  Yatton  embraced 
by  ihese  two  beautiful  women,  his  own  heart  (inter  nos) 
seconding  every  word  they  uttered. 

"  How  my  mother  would   stare  ! ''    said  he  at  length, 
lutely,  looking  from   one   to  the   other,   and    smil- 
ing at  their  eagerness. 

••  What  a  bustle  everything  will  be  in  ! "  exclaimed 
Kate.  "  I  fancy  I  'm  there  already !  The  great  blaz- 
ing fires  —  the  holly  and  mistletoe.  We  must  all  go, 
Charles  —  children  and  all!" 

•  Why,  really,  I  hardly  know  " said  Mr.  Aubrey, 

hesitatingly. 

"  Oh  !  I've  settled  it  all,"  quoth  Kate,  seeing  that  she 

gained  her  point,  and  resolved  to  press  her  advan- 

•'and,   what's   more,  we've  no  time  to  lose;    this 

il   Tuesday,  —  Christmas-day  is  Saturday  —  we   must  of 

■  stop  a  night  on  the  way;  but  hadn't  we  better 

have  Griffiths  in,  to  arrange  all?"  Mr.  Aubrey  laughed 

—  and  —  rang  the  bell. 

••  Request  Mr.  Griffiths  to  come  to  me,"  said  he  to  the 
it  irhe  answered  the  summons. 
vol.  r.  —  18 


274  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAK. 

Within  a  very  few  minutes  that  respectable  functionary 
had  made  his  appearance  and  received  his  instructions. 
The  march  to  Shropshire  was  countermanded  —  and  hey  ! 
for  Yatton  !  —  for  which  they  were  to  start  the  next  day 
about  noon.  Mr.  Griffiths'  first  step  was  to  pack  off  Sam, 
Mr.  Aubrey's  groom,  by  the  Tally-ho,  the  first  coach  to 
York,  starting  at  two  o'clock  that  very  day,  with  letters  an- 
nouncing the  immediate  arrival  of  the  family.  These  or- 
ders were  received  by  Sam,  (who  had  been  born  and  bred  at 
Yatton,)  while  he  was  bestowing,  with  vehement  sibila- 
tion,  his  customary  civilities  on  a  favorite  mare  of  his 
master's.  Down  dropped  his  currycomb  ;  he  jumped  into 
the  air ;  snapped  his  fingers  ;  then  he  threw  his  arms 
round  Jenny,  and  tickled  her  under  the  chin.  "Dang 
it,"  said  he,  as  he  threw  her  another  feed  of  oats,  "  I 
wish  thee  were  going  wi'  me  —  dang'd  if  I  don't  ! " 
Then  he  hastily  made  himself  "  a  bit  tidy ; "  presented 
himself  very  respectfully  before  Mr.  Griffiths,  to  receive 
the  wherewithal  to  pay  his  fare  ;  and  having  obtained  it, 
off  he  scampered  to  the  Bull  and  Mouth,  as  if  it  had  been 
a  neck-and-neck  race  between  him  and  all  London,  which 
should  get  down  to  Yorkshire  first.  A  little  after  one 
o'clock,  his  packet  of  letters  was  delivered  to  him ;  and 
within  another  hour  Sam  was  to  be  seen  (quite  comfort- 
able, with  a  draught  of  spiced  ale  given  him  by  the 
cook,  to  make  his  hasty  dinner  "  sit  well"  )  on  the  top 
of  the  Tally-ho,  rattling  rapidly  along  the  great  north 
road. 

"Come,  Kate,"  said  Mrs.  Aubrey,  entering  Miss  Au- 
brey's room,  where  she  was  giving  directions  to  her  maid, 
"  I  've  ordered  the  carriage  to  be  at  the  door  as  soon  as 
it  can  be  got  ready  ;  we  must  go  off  to  Coutts'  —  see  ! " 
She  held  in  her  hand  two  slips  of  paper,  one  of  which 
she  gave  Miss  Aubrey.  'Twas  a  check  for  one  hundred 
pounds  —  her  brother's  usual  Christmas-box  —  "  and  then 


TEX   THOUSAND    A.-YEAB.  275 

we've  a  quantity  of  little  matters  to  buy  this  afternoon. 
Come,  Kate,  quick  !  quick  !  " 

Now,  poor  Kate  bad  spent  nearly  all  her  money,  which 
circumstance,  connected  with  another  that  I  shall  shortly 
mention,  had  given  her  not  a  little  concern.  At  her  earn- 
est request,  her  brother  had,  about  a  year  before,  built 
her  a  nice  little  school,  capable  of  containing  some  eigh- 
teen or  twenty  girls,  on  a  slip  of  land  between  the  vicar- 
nd  the  park  wall  of  Yatton,  and  old  Mrs.  Aubrey 
and  her  daughter  found  a  resident  schoolmistress,  and, 
in  fact,  supported  the  little  establishment,  which,  at  the 
time  I  am  speaking  of,  contained  some  seventeen  or  eigh- 
teen of  the  villagers'  younger  children.  Miss  Aubrey  took 
a  prodigious  interest  in  this  little  school,  scarce  a  day  pass- 
im: without  her  visiting  it  when  she  was  at  Yatton  ;  and 
what  Kate  wanted,  was  the  luxury  of  giving  a  Christmas 
it  to  both  mistress  and  scholars.  That,  however, 
she  would  have  had  some  difficulty  in  effecting  but  for 
this  her  brother's  timely  present,  which  had  quite  set  her 
heart  at  ease.  On  their  return,  the  carriage  was  crowded 
with  the  things  they  had  been  purchasing  —  articles  of 
clothing  for  the  feebler  old  villagers  ;  work-boxes,  sam- 
plers, books,  testaments,  prayer-books,  &c.  &c.  &c,  for 
the  school ;  the  sight  of  which,  I  can  assure  the  reader, 
made  Kate  far  happier  than  if  they  had  been  the  costli- 
est articles  of  dress  and  jewelry. 

The  next  day  was  a  very  pleasant  one  for  travelling  — 
"frosty,  but  kindly."  About  one  o'clock  there  might  have 
been  seen  standing  before  the  door  the  roomy  yellow  fam- 
ily carriage,  with  four  post-horses.  All  was  in  travelling 
trim.  In  the  rumble  sat  Mr.  Aubrey's  valet  and  Mrs. 
Aubrey's  maid  —  Miss  Aubrey's,  and  one  of  the  nursery- 
maids, going  down  by  the  coach  which  had  carried  Sam 
—  the  Tally-ho.  The  coach-box  was  piled  up  with  that 
s<>rt  of  luggage  which,  by  its  lightness  and  bulk,  denotes 


276  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

lady-travelling :  inside  were  Mrs.  and  Miss  Aubrey  muf- 
fled in  furs,  shawls,  and  pelisses  ;  a  nursery-maid,  with  lit- 
tle Master  and  Miss  Aubrey,  equally  well  protected  from 
the  cold;  and  the  vacant  seat  awaited  Mr.  Aubrey,  who 
at  length  made  his  appearance,  having  been  engaged  till 
the  latest  moment  in  giving  and  repeating  specific  instruc- 
tions concerning  the  forwarding  of  his  letters  and  papers. 
As  soon  as  he  had  taken  his  place,  and  all  had  been  snugly 
disposed  within,  the  steps  were  doubled  up,  the  door  was 
closed,  the  windows  were  drawn  up  —  crack!  crack  !  went 
the  whips  of  the  two  postiliorts,  and  away  rolled  the  car- 
riage over  the  dry  hard  pavement. 

"  Now  that 's  what  I  calls  doing  it  uncommon  comfort- 
able," said  a  pot-boy  to  one  of  the  footmen  at  an  adjoin- 
ing house,  where  he  was  delivering  the  porter  for  the 
servants'  dinner ;  "  how  werry  nice  and  snug  them  two 
looks  in  the  rumble  behind  !  " 

"  We  goes  to-morrow,"  carelessly  replied  the  gentleman 
whom  he  had  addressed. 

"  It 's  a  fine  thing  to  be  gentlefolk,"  said  the  boy,  tak- 
ing up  his  pot-board. 

"  Pretty  well  —  but  one  tires  of  it  in  time  !  "  drawled 
the  footman,  twitching  up  his  shirt-collar. 

On  drawing  up  to  the  posting-house,  which  was  within 
about  forty  miles  of  Yatton,  the  Aubreys  found  a  carriage 
and  four  just  ready  to  start,  after  changing  horses  ;  and 
whose  should  this  prove  to  be,  but  Lord  De  la  Zouch's, 
containing  himself,  his  lady,  and  his  son,  Mr.  Delamere  ! 
His  lordship  and  his  son  both  alighted  on  accidentally 
discovering  who  had  overtaken  them  ;  and  coming  up  to 
Mr.  Aubrey's  carriage  windows,  exchanged  surprised  and 
cordial  greetings  with  its  occupants  —  whom  Lord  De  la 
Zouch  imagined  to  have  been  by  this  time  on  their  way 
to  Shropshire.  Mr.  Delamere  manifested  a  surprising 
eagerness  about  the  welfare  of  little  Agnes  Aubrey,  who 


TEN    THOUSAND    A-YEAU.  Tl  , 

happened  to  be  lying  fast  asleep  in  Miss  Aubrey's  lap  ; 
but  the  evening  was  fast  advancing,  and  both  the  trav- 
elling parties  had  yet  before  them  a  considerable  portion 
of  their  journey.  After  a  hasty  promise  on  the  part  <>t 
each  to  dine  with  the  other,  before  returning  to  town 
for  the  season  —  a  promise  which  Mr.  Delamere  at  all 
events  resolved  should  not  be  lost  sight  of — they  parted. 
T  was  eight  o'clock  before  Mi-.  Aubrey's  eye,  which  had 
been  for  some  time  on  the  look-out,  caught  sight  of  Yat- 
ton  woods  ;  and  when  it  did,  his  heart  yearned  towards 
them.  The  moon  shone  brightly  and  cheerily,  and  it  was 
pleasant  to  listen  to  the  quickening  clattering  tramp  of  the 
bones  upon  the  dry  hard  highway,  as  the  travellers  rap- 
idly neared  a  spot  endeared  to  them  by  every  early  and 
tender  association.  When  they  had  got  within  half  a 
mile  of  the  village,  they  overtook  the  worthy  vicar,  who 
had  mounted  his  nag,  and  had  been  out  on  the  road  to 
meet  the  expected  comers,  for  an  hour  before.  Mr.  Au- 
brey roused  Mrs.  Aubrey  from  her  nap,  to  point  out  Dr. 
Tatham,  who  by  that  time  was  cantering  along  beside 
the  open  window.  T  was  refreshing  to  see  the  cheerful 
old  man  —  who  looked  as  ruddy  and  hearty  as  ever. 

"God  bless  you  all!  All  well]"  he  exclaimed,  riding 
close  to  the  window. 

"  Yes ;  but  how  is  my  mother?  "  inquired  Mr.  Aubrey. 

"  High  spirits  —  high  spirits !  Was  with  her  this  after- 
noon !  Have  not  seen  her  better  for  years  !  So  surprised  ! 
Ah  !  here  's  an  old  friend  —  Hector  !  " 

"  Bow-wow-wow-wow  !     Bow  —  Bow-wow  !  " 

11  Papa!  papa!"  exclaimed  the  voice  of  little  Charles, 
Etling  to  uret  on  his  father's  lap  to  look  out  of  the  win- 
dow, '•  that  is  Hector !  I  know  it  is  !  He  is  come  to  see 
me.'     I  want  to  look  at  him." 

Mr.  Aubrey  lifted  him  up  as  he  desired,  and  a  huge 
black-and-white  Newfoundland  dog  almost  leaped  up  to 


278  TEN    THOUSAND    A-YEAIi. 

the  window,  at  sight  of  him  clapping  his  little  hands,  as 
if  in  eager  recognition,  and  then  scampered  and  bounded 
about  in  all  directions,  barking  most  boisterously,  to  the 
infinite  delight  of  little  Aubrey.  This  messenger  had 
been  sent  on  by  Sam,  the  groom  ;  who,  having  been  on 
the  look-out  for  the  travellers  for  some  time,  the  moment 
he  had  caught  sight  of  the  carriage,  pelted  down  the  vil- 
lage through  the  park,  at  top  speed,  up  to  the  Hall,  there 
to  communicate  the  good  news  of  their  safe  arrival.  The 
travellers  thought  that  the  village  had  never  looked  so 
pretty  and  picturesque  before.  The  sound  of  the  carriage 
dashing  through  it,  called  all  the  cottagers  to  their  doors, 
where  they  stood  bowing  and  courtesying.  It  soon  reached 
the  park-gates,  which  were  thrown  wide  open  in  readiness 
for  its  entrance.  As  they  passed  the  church,  they  heard 
its  little  bells  ringing  a  merry  peal  to  welcome  their  arri- 
val.    Its  faint  chimes  went  to  their  very  hearts. 

"  My  darling  Agnes,  here  we  are  again  in  the  old  place," 
said  Mr.  Aubrey,  in  a  joyous  tone,  affectionately  kissing 
Mrs.  Aubrey  and  his  sister,  as,  after  having  wound  their 
way  up  the  park  at  almost  a  gallop,  they  heard  themselves 
rattling  over  the  stone  pavement  immediately  under  the 
old  turreted  gateway.  On  approaching  it.  they  saw  lights 
glancing  about  in  the  Hall  windows ;  and  before  they  had 
drawn  up,  the  great  door  was  thrown  open,  and  several 
servants  (one  or  two  of  them  gray-headed)  made  their  ap- 
pearance, eager  to  release  the  travellers  from  their  long 
confinement.  A  great  wood  fire  was  crackling  and  blaz- 
ing in  the  ample  fireplace  in  the  hall  opposite  the  door, 
casting  a  right  pleasant  and  cheerful  light  over  the  vari- 
ous antique  objects  ranged  round  the  walls ;  but  the  object 
on  which  Mr.  Aubrey's  eye  instantly  settled  was  the  ven- 
erable figure  of  his  mother,  standing  beside  the  fireplace 
with  one  or  two  female  attendants.  The  moment  that  the 
carriage  door  was  opened,  he  stepped  quickly  out,  (nearly 


TEN    THOUSAND   A-YEAR.  279 

tumbling,  by  the  way,  over  Hector,  who  appeared  to  think 
that  the  carriage  door  had  been  opened  only  to  enable  him 
to  jump  into  it,  which  he  prepared  to  do.) 

"God  bless  you,  Madam!"  said  Mr.  Aubrey,  tenderly, 
as  ho  received  his  mother's  fervent  but  silent  greeting,  and 
ied  that  the  arms  folded  round  him  were  somewhat 
feebler  than  when  he  had  last  felt  them  embracing  him  ! 
With  similar  affection  was  the  good  old  lady  received  by 
her  daughter  and  daughter-in-law. 

"  Where  is  my  pony,  grandmamma'?"  quoth  little  Au- 
brey, running  up  to  her,  (he  had  been  kept  quiet,  from 
time  to  time,  during  the  last  eighty  miles  or  so,  by  the 
mention  of  the  aforesaid  pony,  which  had  been  sent  to  the 
Hall  as  a  present  to  him  some  weeks  before.)  "  Where  is 
it  ?  I  want  to  see  my  little  pony  directly  !  Mamma  says 
you  have  u"t  a  little  pony  for  me  with  a  long  tail ;  I  must 
see  it  before  I  go  to  bed  ;  I  must,  indeed  —  is  it  in  the 
stable  ?  " 

"You  shall  see  it  in  the  morning,  my  darling  —  the  very 
first  thing/'  said  Mrs.  Aubrey,  fervently  kissing  her  beau- 
tiful little  grandson,  while  tears  of  joy  and  pride  ran  down 
her  cheek.  She  then  pressed  her  lips  on  the  delicate  but 
flushed  cheek  of  little  Agnes,  who  was  fast  asleep ;  and  as 
soon  as  they  had  been  conducted  towards  their  nursery, 
Mrs.  Aubrey,  followed  by  her  children,  led  the  way  to  the 
dining-room  —  the  dear  delightful  old  dining-room,  in 
which  all  of  them  had  passed  so  many  happy  hours  of 
their  lives.  It  was  large  and  lofty  ;  and  two  antique 
branch  silver  candlesticks,  standing  on  sconces  upon  each 
side  of  a  strange  old  straggling  carved  mantelpiece  of  in- 
laid "ak,  aided  by  the  blaze  given  out  by  two  immense 
logs  of  wood  burning  beneath,  thoroughly  illuminated  it. 
The  walls  were  oak-panelled,  containing  many  pictures, 
several  of  them  of  great  value ;  and  the  floor  also  was  of 
polished    ook,    over  the  centre   of  which,   however,    was 


280  TEN   THOUSAND   A- YEAR. 

spread  a  thick  richly-colored  Turkey  carpet.  Opposite  the 
door  was  a  large  mullioned  bay-window,  then,  however, 
concealed  behind  an  ample  flowing  crimson  curtain.  On 
the  farther  side  of  the  fireplace  stood  a  high-backed  and 
roomy  armchair,  almost  covered  with  Kate's  embroidery, 
and  in  which  Mrs.  Aubrey  had  evidently,  as  usual,  been 
sitting  till  the  moment  of  their  arrival  —  for  on  a  small 
ebony  table  beside  it  lay  her  spectacles,  and  an  open  vol- 
ume. Nearly  fronting  the  fireplace  was  a  recess,  in  which 
stood  an  exquisitely  carved  black  ebony  cabinet,  inlaid 
with  white  and  red  ivory.  This,  Miss  Aubrey  claimed  as 
her  own,  and  had  appropriated  it  to  her  own  purposes  ever 
since  she  was  seven  years  old.  "  You  dear  old  thing  ! " 
said  she,  throwing  open  the  folding-doors  —  "  Every- 
thing just  as  I  left  it !  Really,  dear  mamma,  I  could  skip 
about  the  room  for  joy !  I  wish  Charles  would  never 
leave  Yatton  again  ! " 

"  It 's  rather  lonely,  my  love,  when  none  of  you  are  with 
me,"  said  Mrs.  Aubrey.     " I  feel  getting  older" 

"Dearest  mamma,"  interrupted  Miss  Aubrey,  quickly, 
and  embracing  her  mother,  "  /  won't  leave  you  again  ! 
I  'm  quite  tired  of  town  —  I  am  indeed  !  " 

Though  fires  were  lit  in  their  several  dressing-rooms,  of 
which  they  were  more  than  once  reminded  by  their  re- 
spective attendants,  they  all  remained  seated  before  the 
fire  in  carriage  costume,  (except  that  Kate  had  thrown 
aside  her  bonnet,  her  half-uncurled  tresses  hanging  in  neg- 
ligent profusion  over  her  thickly-furred  pelisse,)  eagerly 
conversing  about  the  little  incidents  of  their  journey,  and 
the  events  which  had  transpired  at  Yatton  since  they  had 
quitted  it.  At  length,  however,  they  retired  to  perform 
the  refreshing  duties  of  the  dressing-room,  before  sitting 
down  to  supper.  Of  that  comfortable  meal,  within  twenty 
minutes'  time  or  so,  they  partook  with  a  hearty  relish. 
What  mortal,  however  delicate,  could  resist  the  fare  set 


TIN    THOUSAND    A-YEAK.  281 

before  them  —  the  [dump  capon,  the  delicious  grilled  ham, 
the  poached  eggs,  the  floury  potatoes,  home-baked  bread, 

white  and  brown  —  custards,  mince-pies,  home-brewed  ale, 
::  as  milk,  as  clear  as  amber  —  mulled  claret  —  and 
so  fortli  I  The  travellers  had  evidently  never  relished  any- 
thing more,  to  the  infinite  delight  <>i'  old  Mrs.  Aubrey; 
who  observing,  soon  afterwards,  irrepressible  symptoms 
of  fatigue  and  drowsiness,  ordered  them  all  oil'  to  bed  — 
Kate  sleeping  in  the  same  chamber  in  which  she  was  sit- 
ting when  the  reader  was  permitted  to  catch  a  moonlight 
glimpse  oi^  her. 

They  did  not  make  their  appearance  the  next  morning 
till  after  nine  o'clock,  Mrs.  Aubrey  having  read  prayers 
before  the  assembled  servants,  as  usual,  nearly  an  hour 

before a  duty  her  son  always  performed  when  at  the 

Hall  ;  but  on  this  occasion  he  had  overslept  himself.  He 
found  his  mother  in  the  breakfast-room,  where  she  was 
soon  joined  by  her  daughter  and  daughter-in-law,  all  of 
them  being  in  high  health  and  spirits.  Just  as  they  were 
finishing  breakfast,  little  Aubrey  burst  into  the  room  in 
a  perfect  ecstasy  — for  old  Jones  had  taken  him  round  to 
the  stables,  and  shown  him  the  little  pony  which  had 
been  recently  presented  to  him.  He  had  heard  it  neigh 
—  had  seen  its  long  tail  —  had  patted  its  neck  —  had  seen 
it  eat  —  and  now  his  vehement  prayer  was,  that  his  papa, 
and  mamma,  and  Kate  would  immediately  go  and  see  it, 
and  take  his  little  sister  also. 

Breakfast  over,  they  separated.  Old  Mrs.  Aubrey  went 
to  her  own  room  to  be  attended  by  her  housekeeper ;  the 
other  two  ladies  retired  to  their  rooms — Kate  principally 

S    ged  in  arranging  her  presents  for  her  little  scholars  : 

and  Mr.  Aubrey  repaired  to  his  library  —  as  delightful  an 

<<\<\  snuggery  as  the  most  studious  recluse  could  desire  — 

he  was  presently  attended  by  his  bailiff.     He  found 

that  everything  was  going  on  as  he  could  have  wished. 


282  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

With  one  or  two  exceptions,  his  rents  were  paid  most 
punctually ;  the  farms  and  lands  kept  in  capital  condi- 
tion. To  be  sure  an  incorrigible  old  poacher  had  been 
giving  a  little  trouble,  as  usual,  and  stood  committed  for 
trial  at  the  ensuing  Spring  Assizes;  and  a  few  trivial 
trespasses  had  been  committed  in  search  of  firewood,  and 
other  small  matters;  which,  after  having  been  detailed 
with  great  minuteness  by  his  zealous  and  vigilant  bailiff, 
were  despatched  by  Mr.  Aubrey  with  a  "  pooh,  pooh  !  "  -— 
Then  there  was  Gregory,  who  held  the  smallest  farm  on  the 
estate,  at  its  southern  extremity  —  he  was  three  quarters' 
rent  in  arrear  —  but  he  had  a  sick  wife  and  seven  children 
—  so  he  was  at  once  forgiven  all  that  was  due,  and  also 
what  would  become  due,  on  the  ensuing  quarter-day.  — 
"  In  fact,"  said  Mr.  Aubrey,  "  don't  ask  him  for  any  more 
rent.    I  'm  sure  the  poor  fellow  will  pay  when  he  's  able." 

Some  rents  were  to  be  raised ;  others  lowered ;  and 
some  half  dozen  of  the  poorer  cottages  were  to  be  forth- 
with put  into  good  repair,  at  Mr.  Aubrey's  expense.  The 
two  oxen  had  been  sent,  on  the  preceding  afternoon,  from 
the  home  farm  to  the  butcher's,  to  be  distributed  on 
Christmas  eve  among  the  poorer  villagers,  according  to 
orders  brought  down  from  town  by  Sam  the  day  before. 
Thus  was  Mr.  Aubrey  engaged  for  an  hour  or  two,  till 
luncheon  time,  when  good  Dr.  Tatham  made  his  welcome 
appearance,  having  been  engaged  most  of  the  morning  in 
touching  up  an  old  Christmas  sermon. 

He  had  been  vicar  of  Yatton  for  about  thirty  years, 
having  been  presented  to  it  by  the  late  Mr.  Aubrey,  with 
whom  he  had  been  intimate  at  college.  He  was  a  delight- 
ful specimen  of  a  country  parson.  Cheerful,  unaffected, 
and  good-natured,  there  was  a  dash  of  quaintness  or 
roughness  about  his  manners,  that  reminded  you  of  the 
crust  in  very  fine  old  port.  He  had  been  a  widowTer,  and 
childless,   for  fifteen  years.     His  parish  had  been  ever 


TEN   THOUSAND    A-YEAR.  283 

since  his  family,   whom  he  still  watched  over  with  an 
affectionate  vigilance.     He  was  respected  and  beloved  by 

all.  Almost  every  man,  woman,  and  child  that  had  died 
in  Yatton,  during  nearly  thirty  years,  had  departed  with 
the  sound  of  his  kind  and  solemn  voice  in  their  ears.  He 
claimed  a  sort  of  personal  acquaintance  with  almost  all 
the  gravestones  in  his  little  churchyard  ;  he  knew  the 
names  of  all  who  slept  beneath  them  ;  and  when  he 
1  at  those  gravestones,  his  conscience  bore  him  wit- 
— .  that  he  had  done  his  duty  by  the  dust  of  whom 
they  spoke.  He  was  at  the  bedside  of  a  sick  person 
almost  as  soon,  and  as  often,  as  the  doctor  —  no  matter 
what  sort  of  weather,  or  at  what  hour  of  the  day  or  night. 
Methinks  I  see  him  now,  bustling  about  the  village,  with 
healthy  ruddy  cheek,  a  clear,  cheerful  eye,  hair  white  as 
snow  !  with  a  small  stout  figure,  clothed  in  a  suit  of  some- 
what rusty  black,  (knee-breeches  and  gaiters  all  round  the 
year,)  and  with  a  small  shovel-hat.  No  one  lives  in  the 
vicarage  with  him  but  an  elderly  woman,  his  housekeeper, 
and  her  husband,  whose  chief  business  is  to  look  after  the 
doctor's  old  mare  and  the  little  garden ;  in  which  I  have 
often  seen  him  and  his  master,  with  his  coat  off,  digging 
for  an  hour  or  two  together.  He  rises  at  five  in  the 
winter,  and  four  in  the  summer,  being  occupied  till  break- 
fast with  his  studies ;  for  he  was  an  excellent  scholar,  and 
not  forgotten,  in  the  zealous  discharge  of  his  sacred 
duties,  the  pursuits  of  literature  and  philosophy,  in  which 
he  had  gained  no  inconsiderable  distinction  in  his  youth. 
He  derives  a  very  moderate  income  from  his  living  ;  but 
it  is  even  more  than  sufficient  for  his  necessities.  Ever 
since  Mr.  Aubrey's  devotion  to  politics  has  carried  him 
away  from  Yatton  for  a  considerable  portion  of  each  year, 
Dr.  Tatham  has  been  the  right  hand  counsellor  of  old 
Mrs.  Aubrey,  in  all  her  pious  and  charitable  plans  and 
purposes.     Every  New-year's  day,  there  come  from  the 


284  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

Hall  to  the  vicarage  six  dozen  of  fine  old  port  wine  —  a 
present  from  Mrs.  Aubrey ;  but  the  little  doctor  (though 
he  never  tells  her  so)  scarce  drinks  six  bottles  of  them  in 
a  year.  Two  dozen  of  them  go,  within  a  few  days'  time, 
to  a  poor  brother  parson  in  an  adjoining  parish,  who,  with 
his  wife  and  three  children  —  all  in  feeble  health  —  can 
hardly  keep  body  and  soul  together,  f,nd  who,  but  for  this 
generous  brother,  would  not  probably  taste  wine  through- 
out the  year,  except  on  certain  occasions  when  the  very 
humblest  may  moisten  their  poor  lips  with  wine — I  mean 
the  Sacrament  —  the  sublime  and  solemn  festival  given 
by  One  who  doth  not  forget  the  poor  and  destitute,  how- 
ever in  their  misery  they  may  sometimes  think  to  the 
contrary  !  —  The  remainder  of  his  little  present  Dr. 
Tatham  distributes  in  small  quantities  among  such  of 
his  parishioners  as  may  require  it,  and  may  not  happen 
to  have  come  under  the  immediate  notice  of  Mrs.  Aubrey. 
Dr.  Tatham  has  known  Mr.  Aubrey  ever  since  he  was 
about  five  years  old.  'T  was  the  doctor  that  first  taught 
him  Greek  and  Latin  ;  and,  up  to  his  going  to  college, 
gave  him  the  frequent  advantage  of  his  learned  experi- 
ence. —  But  surely  I  have  gone  into  a  very  long  digres- 
sion, and  must  return. 

While  Miss  Aubrey,  accompanied  by  her  sister-in-law, 
and  followed  by  a  servant  carrying  a  great  bag,  filled  with 
articles  brought  from  London  the  day  before,  went  to  the 
school  which  I  have  before  mentioned,  in  order  to  distrib- 
ute her  prizes  and  presents,  Mr.  Aubrey  and  Dr.  Tatham 
set  off  on  a  walk  through  the  village. 

"  I  must  really  do  something  for  that  old  steeple  of 
yours,  Doctor,"  said  Mr.  Aubrey,  looking  up,  and  shading 
his  eyes  with  his  hands,  as,  arm  in  arm,  they  approached 
the  church  ;  "  it  looks  crumbling  away  in  many  parts  !  " 

"  If  you  'd  only  send  a  couple  of  masons  to  repair  the 
porch,  and  make  it  weather-tight,  it  would  satisfy  me  for 


TEX   THOUSAND    A-VKAH.  285 

some  years   to  come,"   laid  the   doctor,   with  exceeding 
earnestness. 

••  Well  —  we  '11  look  at  it."  replied  Aubrey  ;  and,  turn- 
ing aside,  they  entered  the  little  churchyard. 

'•  How  I  bye  this  old  yew-tree  !  "  he  exclaimed,  as  they 
1  under  it  ;  "  it  oasts  a  kind  of  tender  doom  around 
that  always  makes  me  pensive,  not  to  say  melancholy  !  " 
aped  him,  as  his  eye  glanced  at  the  family  vault, 
which  was  almost  hi  the  centre  of  the  shade,  where  lay 
his  father,  three  brothers,  and  a  sister,  and  where,  in  the 
course  of  nature,  a  few  short  years  would  see  the  precious 
remains  of  his  mother  deposited.  But  the  doctor  who 
had  hastened  forward  alone  for  a  moment,  finding  the 
church  door  open,  called  out  to  Mr.  Aubrey,  who  soon 
stood  within  the  porch.  It  certainly  required  a  little 
repairing  which  Mr.  Aubrey  said  should  be  looked  to 
immediately.  "  See  —  we  're  all  preparing  for  to-morrow," 
said  Dr.  Tatham,  leading  the  way  into  the  little  church, 
where  the  grizzle-headed  clerk  was  busy  decorating  the 
old-fashioned  pulpit,  reading-desk,  and  altar-piece,  with 
the  cheerful  emblems  of  the  season. 

"  I  never  see  these,"  said  the  doctor,  taking  up  one  of 

the  sprigs  of  mistletoe  lying  on  a  form  beside  them,  "  but 

I  think  of  your  own  Christmas  verses,  Mr.  Aubrey,  when 

you  were  younger  and  fresher  than  you  now  are  —  don't 

recollect  them  ?  " 

"  Oh  —  pooh  !  "  quoth  Aubrey,  somewhat  hastily. 

••  But  I  remember  them,"  rejoined  the  doctor;  and  he 
I   with  great  emphasis  and  solemnity  — 

u  Hail  !  lilvery,  modest  mistletoe, 
Wreath'd  round  winter's  brow  of  snow, 
Clinging  so  chastely,  tenderly  : 
Hail  holly,  darkly,  richly  green, 
Whose  crimson  berriefl  blush  between 
Thy  prickly  foliage,  modestly. 


286  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

Ye  winter-flowers,  bloom  sweet  and  fair, 
Though  Nature's  garden  else  be  bare  — 
Ye  vernal  glistening  emblems,  meet 
To  twine  a  Christmas  coronet  !  " 

"  That  will  do,  Doctor,"  interrupted  Aubrey,  smiling  — 
"  what  a  memory  you  have  for  trifles  !  " 

"Peggy!  Peggy! — you're  sadly  overdoing  it,"  said 
the  doctor,  hastily,  calling  out  to  the  sexton's  wife,  who 
was  busy  at  work  in  the  squire's  pew  —  a  large  square 
pew  in  the  nave,  near  the  pulpit.  "  Why,  do  you  want 
to  hide  the  squire's  family  from  the  congregation  1  You're 
putting  quite  a  holly  hedge  all  round !  " 

"  Please  you,  sir,"  quoth  Peggy,  "  I  've  got  so  much 
I  don't  know  where  to  put  it  —  so,  in  course,  I  put  it 
here  !  " 

"  Then,"  said  the  doctor,  with  a  smile,  looking  round 
the  church,  "  let  Jonas  get  up  and  stick  some  of  it  into 
those  old  hatchments  ;  and,"  looking  up  at  the  clerk,  busy 
at  work  in  the  pulpit,  "  don't  you  put  quite  so  much  up 
there  into  my  candlesticks  !  " 

With  this  the  parson  and  the  squire  took  their  depart- 
ure. As  they  passed  slowly  up  the  village,  which  already 
wore  a  sort  of  holiday  aspect,  they  met  on  all  hands  with 
a  cordial,  respectful,  and  affectionate  greeting.  The  quiet 
little  public-house  turned  out  some  four  or  five  stout 
steady  fellows  —  all  tenants  of  Mr.  Aubrey's  —  with 
their  pipes  in  their  hands,  and  who  took  off  their  hats, 
and  bowed  very  low.  Mr.  Aubrey  went  up  and  entered 
into  conversation  with  them  for  some  minutes.  Their 
families  and  farms,  he  found,  were  well  and  thriving. 
There  wTas  quite  a  little  crowd  of  women  about  the  shop 
of  Nick  Steele,  the  butcher,  who,  with  an  extra  hand  to 
help  him,  was  giving  out  the  second  ox  which  had  been 
sent  from  the  Hall,  to  the  persons  whose  names  had  been 
given   in  to  him  from  Mrs.  Aubrey.     Farther  on,  some 


TEX   THOUSAND   A-YKAK.  287 

were  cleaning  their  little  windows,  others  Bweeping  their 
floors,  and  sprinkling  sand  over  them  ;  most  were  dis- 
playing holly  and  mistletoe  in  their  windows,  and  over 
their  mantelpieces.  Everywhere,  in  short,  was  to  be  seen 
that  air  of  quiet  preparation  tor  the  solemnly-cheerful 
morrow,  which  tills  a  thoughtful  English  observer  with 
feelings  of  pensive  hut  exquisite  satisfaction. 

Mi-.  Aubrey  returned  home  towards  dusk,  cheered  and 
enlivened  by  his  walk.  His  sudden  plunge  into  the  sim- 
plicity and  comparative  solitude  of  country  life  —  and 
that  country  Yatton  —  had  quite  refreshed  his  feelings, 
and  given  a  tone  to  his  spirits.  Of  course  Dr.  Tatham 
was  to  dine  at  the  Hall  on  the  morrow7 ;  if  he  did  not, 
indeed,  it  would  have  been  for  the  first  time  during  the 
last  tive-and-twenty  years  I 

Christmas  eve  passed  pleasantly  and  quietly  enough  at 
the  Hall.  After  dinner  the  merry  little  ones  were  intro- 
duced, and  their  prattle  and  romps  occupied  an  hour 
right  joyously.  As  soon  as,  smothered  with  kisses,  they 
had  been  dismissed  to  bed,  old  Mrs.  Aubrey  composed 
herself,  in  her  great  chair,  to  her  usual  after-dinner's  nap; 
while  her  son,  his  wife,  and  sister,  sitting  fronting  the 
fire  —  a  decanter  or  two,  and  a  few  wine-glasses  and 
dessert,  remaining  on  the  table  behind  them  —  sat  con- 
versing in  a  subdued  tone,  now  listening  to  the  wind 
roaring  in  the  chimney  —  a  sound  which  not  a  little 
enhanced  their  sense  of  comfort  —  then  criticising  the 
sition  of  the  evergreens  with  which  the  room  was 
plenteoosly  decorated,  and  laying  out  their  movements 
during  the  ensuing  fortnight.  Mrs.  Aubrey  and  Kate 
were,  with  affectionate  earnestness,  contrasting  to  Aubrey 
the  peaceful  pleasures  of  a  country  life  with  the  restless 
excitement  and  endless  anxieties  of  a  London  political 
i  which  they  saw  him  more  and  more  addicting 
If;  he  all  the  while  playfully  parrying  their  attacks, 


288  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAE. 

but  secretly  acknowledging  the  truth  and  force  of  what 
they  said,  when  —  hark  !  —  a  novel  sound  from  without, 
which  roused  the  old  lady  from  her  nap.  What  do  you 
think,  dear  reader,  it  was?  The  voices  of  very  little 
girls  singing  what  seemed  to  be  a  Christmas  hymn  :  yes, 
they  caught  the  words  — 

"Hark  !  the  herald  angels  sing, 
Glory  to  the  new-born  king  ; 
Peace  on  earth  and  mercy  mild  " — 

"Why,  surely — it  must  be  your  little  school-girls," 
said  old  Mrs.  Aubrey,  looking  at  her  daughter,  and 
listening. 

"  I  do  believe  it  is  !  "  quoth  Kate,  her  eyes  suddenly 
filling  with  tears,  as  she  sat  eagerly  inclining  her  ear 
towards  the  window. 

"They  must  be  standing  on  the  grass-plot  just  before 
the  window,"  said  Mr.  Aubrey  :  the  tiny  voices  were 
thrilling  his  very  heart  within  him.  His  sensitive  na- 
ture might  have  been  compared  to  a  delicate  iEolian 
harp  which  gave  forth,  with  the  slightest  breath  of  acci- 
dent or  circumstance,  — 

"  The  still,  sad  music  of  humanity." 

In  a  few  moments  he  was  almost  in  tears  —  the  sounds 
were  so  unlike  the  fierce  and  turbulent  cries  of  political 
warfare  to  which  his  ears  had  been  latterly  accustomed  ! 
The  more  the  poor  children  sang,  the  more  was  he  af- 
fected. Kate's  tears  fell  fast,  for  she  had  been  in  an  ex- 
cited mood  before  this  little  incident  occurred.  "  Do  you 
hear,  mamma,"  said  she,  "  the  voice  of  the  poor  little  thing 
that  was  last  taken  into  the  school  ?  The  little  darling  ! " 
Kate  tried  to  smile  away  her  emotion ;  but  't  was  in  vain. 
Mr.  Aubrey  gently  drew  aside  the  curtain,  and  pulled  up 
the  central  blind  —  and  there,  headed  by  their  matron, 


TEN    THOUSAND    A -YEAR.  289 

stood  the  little  singers  exposed  to  view,  some  eighteen  in 
number,  ranged  in  ;i  row  on  the  grass,  all  in  snug  gray 
woollen  hoods  effectually  protecting  them  from  the  cold. 
The  oldest   seemed  not  mere  than  ten  or  twelve  years 

old,  while  the  younger  ones  could  not  be  more  than 
live  or  six.  They  Beemed  all  singing  from  their  very 
hearts.  Aubrey  stood  looking  at  them  with  very  deep 
inter 

A-  soon  as  they  had  finished  their  hymn,  they  were 
conducted  into  the  housekeeper's  room,  according  to  or- 
ient for  that  purpose,  from  Mrs.  Aubrey,  and  each 
of  them  received  a  little  present  of  money,  besides  a  full 
>f  Mrs.  Jackson's  choicest  raisin  wine,  and  a  currant 
bun  ;  Kate  slipping  half-a-guinea  into  the  hand  of  their 
mistress.  t<>  whose  wish  to  afford  gratification  to  the  in- 
mates of  the  Hall  was  entirely  owing  the  little  incident 
which  had  s<>  pleased  and  surprised  them.  "A  happy 
Christmas  to  you,  dear  papa  and  mamma  !  "  said  little 
Aubrey,  about  eight  o'clock  the  next  morning,  pushing 
aside  the  curtains,  and  trying  to  clamber  up  on  the  high 
bed  where  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Aubrey  were  still  asleep  —  soon, 
however,  they  were  awakened  by  the  dear  welcome  voice  ! 
The  morning  promised  a  beautiful  day.  The  air,  though 
cold,  was  clear;  and  the  branches  of  the  trees  visible  from 
their  windows,  were  all  covered  with  hoar-frost,  which 
seemed  to  line  them  as  if  with  silver  fringe.  The  little 
bells  of  Yatton  church  were  ringing  a  merry  peal;  but 
how  different  in  tone  and  strength  from  the  clangor  of 
the  London  church-bells!  —  Christmas  was  indeed  at  last 
arrived  —  and  cheerful  were  the  greetings  of  those  who 
after  met  at  the  bountiful  breakfast  table.  Old  Mrs. 
Aubrev  was  going  to  church  with  them  —  in  fact,  not  even 
a  domestic  who  could  be  possibly  spared,  was  to  be  left 
;it  home.  By  the  time  that  the  carriage,  with  the  fat 
and  lazy-looking  gray  horses,  was  at  the  Hall  door,  the 

: 


290  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAK. 

sun  had  burst  out  in  beauty  from  an  almost  cloudless 
sky.  The  three  ladies  rode  alone  ;  Aubrey  preferring  to 
walk,  accompanied  by  his  little  son,  as  the  ground  was 
dry  and  hard,  and  the  distance  very  short.  A  troop  of 
some  twelve  or  fourteen  servants,  male  and  female,  pres- 
ently followed ;  and  then  came  Mr.  Aubrey,  leading  along 
the  heir  of  Yatton  —  a  boy  of  whom  he  might  well  be 
proud,  as  the  future  possessor  of  his  name,  his  fortune, 
and  his  honors.  When  he  had  reached  the  church,  the 
carriage  was  returning  home.  Almost  the  whole  con- 
gregation stood  collected  before  the  church  door,  to  see 
the  squire's  family  enter  ;  and  reverent  were  the  courtesies 
and  bows  with  which  old  Mrs.  Aubrey  and  her  lovely  com- 
panions were  received.  Very  soon  after  they  had  taken 
their  places,  Mr.  Aubrey  and  his  son  made  their  appear- 
ance ;  objects  they  were  of  the  deepest  interest,  as  they 
passed  along  to  their  pew.  A  few  minutes  afterwards  lit- 
tle Dr.  Tatham  entered  the  church  in  his  surplice,  (which 
he  almost  always  put  on  at  home,)  with  a  face,  composed 
and  serious  to  be  sure,  but  yet  overspread  with  an  ex- 
pression even  more  bland  and  benignant  than  usual.  He 
knew  there  was  not  a  soul  among  the  little  crowd  around 
him  that  did  not  really  love  him,  and  that  did  not  know 
how  heartily  he  returned  their  love.  All  eyes  were  of 
course  on  the  squire's  pew.  Mrs.  Aubrey  was  looking 
well  —  her  daughter  and  daughter-in-law  were  thought 
by  all  to  be  by  far  the  most  beautiful  women  in  the 
world  —  what  must  people  think  of  them  in  London  I 
Mr.  Aubrey  looked,  they  thought,  pleased  and  happy, 
but  rather  paler,  and  even  a  little  thinner ;  and  as  for 
the  "  little  squire,"  with  his  bright  eyes,  his  rosy  cheeks, 
his  arch  smile,  his  curling  auburn  hair  —  and  so  like  his 
father  and  mother  —  he  was  the  pride  of  Yatton  ! 

Dr.  Tatham  read  prayers,  as  he  always  did,  with  great 
distinctness  and  deliberation,  so  that  everybody  in  the 


TEX  THOUSAND  A-YKAK.  291 

church,  young  and  old,  could  catch  every  syllable  ;  and 
he  preached,  considerately  enough,  a  very  short  sermon 
—  pithy,  homely,  and  affectionate,  lie  reminded  them 
that  he  was  then  preaching  his  thirty-lirst  Christmas-day 
sermon  from  that  pulpit  I     The  Bervice  and  the  sacrament 

over,  none  of  the  congregation  moved  from  their  places 
till  the  occupants  of  the  squire's  pew  had  quitted  it  ;  but. 
:i  as  they  had  got  outside  of  the  door,  the  good  peo- 
ple poured  out  after  them,  and  almost  lined  the  way  from 
the  ohurch  door  to  the  gate  at  which  the  carriage  stood, 
receiving  ami  answering  a  hundred  kind  inquiries  concern- 
ing them>.  Ives,  their  families,  and  their  circumstances. 

Mr.  Aubrey  stayed  behind,  desirous  of  taking  another 
ramble  with  Dr.  Tatham  through  the  village,  for 
the  day  was  indeed  bright  and  beautiful,  and  the  occa- 
sion inspiriting.  There  was  not  a  villager  within  four 
or  five  miles  of  the  Hall  who  did  not  sit  down  that  day 
to  a  comfortable  little  relishing  dinner,  at  least  one-third 
of  them  being  indebted  for  it  directly  to  the  bounty  of 
the  Aubreys.  As  soon  as  Dr.  Tatham  had  taken  oil'  his 
g<»\vn,  he  accompanied  Mr.  Aubrey  in  cheerful  mood,  in 
the  briskest  spirits.  'T  was  delightful  to  see  the  smoke 
come  curling  out  of  every  chimney,  while  few  folk  were 
visible  out  of  doors  ;  whence  you  reasonably  concluded 
that  they  were  all  housed,  and  preparing  for,  or  partak- 
i  _  f.  their  roast-beef  and  plum-pudding!  Now  and 
then  the  bustling  wife  would  show  her  heated  red  face 
at   th<  ind  hastily  courtesy  as  they  passed,  then 

returning  to  dish  up  her  little  dinner. 

"  Ah.  ha  ;  Mr.  Aubrey  !  — is  n't  such  a  day  as  this  worth 
a  whole  year  in  town  ]"  exclaimed  Dr.  Tatham. 

••  Both   have   their  peculiar  advantages,   Doctor;   the 

of  the  contrast  would  be  lost  if" 

•  :      Believe  me,  in  the  language  of  the  poet 
I" 


292  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

"  Ah !  how  goes  on  old  blind  Bess,  Doctor  1 "  inter- 
rupted Aubrey,  as  they  approached  the  smallest  cottage 
in  the  village  —  in  fact  the  very  last. 

"  She 's  just  the  same  as  she  has  been  these  last  twenty 
years.     Shall  we  look  in  on  the  old  creature  1 " 

"  With  all  my  heart.  I  hope,  poor  soul !  that  she  has 
not  been  overlooked  on  this  festive  occasion." 

"  Trust  Mrs.  Aubrey  for  that !  I  '11  answer  for  it,  we 
shall  find  old  Bess  as  happy,  in  her  way,  as  she  can 
be." 

This  was  a  stone  blind  old  woman,  who  had  been  bed- 
ridden for  the  last  twenty  years.  She  had  certainly  passed 
her  hundredth  year  —  some  said  two  or  three  years  before 
—  and  had  lived  in  her  present  little  cottage  for  nearly 
half  a  century,  having  grown  out  of  the  recollection  of  al- 
most all  the  inhabitants  of  the  village.  She  had  long  been 
a  pensioner  of  Mrs.  Aubrey's,  by  whom  alone,  indeed,  she 
was  supported.  Her  great  age,  her  singular  appearance, 
and  a  certain  rambling  way  of  talking  that  she  had,  had 
long  earned  her  the  reputation,  in  the  village,  of  being  able 
to  say  strange  things ;  and  one  or  two  of  the  old  gossips 
knew  of  things  coming  to  pass  according  to  what  —  poor 
old  soul  —  she  had  predicted  ! 

Dr.  Tatham  gently  pushed  open  the  door.  The  cottage 
consisted,  in  fact,  of  but  one  room,  and  that  a  very  small 
one,  and  lit  by  only  one  little  window.  The  floor  was  clean, 
and  evidently  just  fresh  sanded.  On  a  wooden  stool,  op- 
posite a  fireplace,  on  which  a  small  saucepan  was  placed, 
sat  a  girl  about  twelve  years  old,  (a  daughter  of  the  woman 
who  lived  nearest,)  crumbling  some  bread  into  a  basin,  with 
some  broth  in  it.  On  a  narrow  bed  against  the  wall,  op- 
posite the  window,  was  to  be  seen  the  somewhat  remark- 
able figure  of  the  solitary  old  tenant  of  the  cottage.  She 
was  sitting  up,  resting  against  the  pillow,  which  was 
placed  on  end  against  the  wall.     She  was  evidently  a  very 


TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR.  293 

tall  woman  ;  and  her  long,  brown,  wrinkled,  shrivelled  face, 
with  prominent  cheekbones  and  bushy  white  eyebrows,  be- 
tokened the  possession,  in  earlier  days,  of  a  most  mascu- 
line expression  of  features.  Her  hair,  white  as  snow,  was 
gathered  back  from  her  forehead,  under  a  spreading  plain 
white  cap  ;  and  her  sightless  eyes,  wide  open,  stared  for- 
ward with  a  startling  and  somewhat  sinister  expression. 
She  was  wrapped  round  in  a  clean  white  bedgown  ;  and 
her  long  thin  arms  lay  straight  before  her  on  the  outside 
of  the  bedclothes.  Her  lips  were  moving,  as  if  she  were 
talking  to  herself. 

"She's  a  strange-looking  object,  indeed  !  "  exclaimed  Mr. 
Aubrey,  as  he  and  Dr.  Tatluun  stood  watching  her  for  a 
few  moments  in  silence. 

"  Dame  !  dame  !  "  said  the  doctor,  loudly,  approaching 
her  bedside,  M  how  are  you  to-day  ]  It 's  Christmas-day  — 
I  wish  you  a  merry  Christmas." 

"  Ay,  ay  —  merry,  merry  !  "  echoed  the  old  woman,  with 
a  half-groan.  "  More  the  merrier !  I  've  seen  a  hundred 
and  nine  of  them  !  " 

"  You  seem  comfortable  enough,  dame,"  said  Mr.  Au- 
brey, kindly.     "  T  hope  you  are  ?  " 

"  They  won  t  give  me  my  broth  —  my  broth,"  said  she, 
peevishly. 

u  It  'a  coming,  granny,"  called  out  the  shrill  voice  of  the 
girl  Bitting  before  the  fire,  quickening  her  motions. 

"  Here  's  the  squire  come  to  see  you,  dame,  and  he  wishes 
you  a  happy  Christmas,"  said  Dr.  Tatham,  loudly. 

"  What  :  the  squire  )  Alive  yet]  Ah,  well-a-day  !  well- 
a-day  !  "  said  she,  in  a  feeble,  mournful  tone,  slowly  rub- 
bing together  her  long,  skinny,  wrinkled  hands,  on  the 
backs  of  which  the  veins  stood  out  like  knotted  whipcord. 
She  repeated  the  last  words  several  times,  in  a  truly  dole- 
ful tone,  gently  shaking  her  head. 

"  Granny  'a  been  very  sad,  sir,  to-day,  and  cried  two  or 


294  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

three  times,"  said  the  little  girl,  stirring  about  the  hot 
broth. 

"  Poor  squire  !  doth  he  not  look  sad  1 "  inquired  the  old 
woman. 

"  Why  should  I,  dame  1  What  have  I  to  fear  1 "  said 
Mr.  Aubrey,  somewhat  quickly. 

"  Merry  in  the  Hall !  all,  merry  !  merry  !  But  no  one 
has  heard  it  except  old  blind  Bess.  Where 's  the  squire  1 " 
she  added,  suddenly  turning  full  towards  the  spot  where 
they  were  standing  —  and  her  face  seemed  whitened  with 
emotion.  Her  staring  eyes  were  settled  on  Mr.  Aubrey's 
face,  as  if  she  saw  him  distinctly,  and  were  reading  his 
very  soul. 

"  Here  I  am,  dame,"  said  he,  with  a  great  deal  of  curi- 
osity, to  say  the  least  of  it. 

"  Give  me  your  hand,  Squire,"  said  she,  stretching  out 
her  left  arm,  and  working  about  her  talon-like  fingers,  as 
if  in  eagerness  to  grasp  Mr.  Aubrey's  hand,  which  he  gave 
her. 

"  Never  fear !  never,  never  !  Happy  in  the  Hall !  I 
see  all!     How  long" 

"Why,  dame,  this  is  truly  a  very  pleasant  greeting  of 
yours,"  interposed  Dr.  Tatham,  with  a  smile. 

"  Short  and  bitter  !  long  and  sweet !  Put  your  trust 
in  God,  Squire." 

"  I  hope  I  do,  granny,"  replied  Mr.  Aubrey,  seriously. 

"  I  see  !  I  hear  !  —  my  broth  !  my  broth  !  —  where  is 
it?" 

"  Here  it  is,  granny,"  said  the  girl  —  "  It  's  all  ready  !  " 

"Good-day,  dame,"  said  Mr.  Aubrey,  gently  disengag- 
ing his  hand  from  hers ;  and  before  they  had  left  the  cot- 
tage, she  began  to  swallow  very  greedily  the  broth  with 
which  the  little  girl  fed  her. 

"  This  is  the  sort  of  way  in  which  this  old  superannu- 
ated creature  has  frightened  one  or  two  of" 


TEN    THOUSAND    A-YEAR.  295 

"Is  it  indeed?"  inquired  Mr.  Aubrey,  with  a  sort  of 

mechanical  smile.  Dr.  Tatham  saw  that  lie  was  in  a 
somewhat    Berious   humor. 

"She  'a  alarmed  you,  I  protest  !  —  I  protest  she  has!  " 
exclaimed  the  doctor,  with  a  Blight   laugh,  as  they  walked 

along.     Now,  he  knew  the  disposition  and  character  of 

Aubrey  intimately  ;  and  was  well  aware  of  a  certain  ten- 
dency   which  he  had  to  superstition. 

••  My  dear  doctor,  I  assure  you  that  you  are  mis- 
taken - — I  am  indeed  not  alarmed  —  but  at  the  same  time 
I  will  tell  you  something  not  a  little  singular.  Would 
you  believe  that  a  month  or  two  ago,  when  in  town,  I 
dreamed  that  I  heard  some  one  uttering  something  very 
much  like  the  words  which  we  have  just  heard  from  this 
old  woman  \  " 

"  Ah  !  ha,  ha  !  "  laughed  the  doctor;  and,  after  a  sec- 
ond or  two's  pause,  Aubrey,  as  if  ashamed  of  what  he  had 
said,  echoed  the  laugh,  and  their  conversation  passed  on  to 
political  topics,  which  kept  them  engaged  for  the  remain- 
der of  their  walk,  Mr.  Aubrey  quitting  his  companion  at 
the  door  of  the  vicarage,  to  be  rejoined  by  him  at  five 
o'clock,  the  dinner  hour  at  the  Hall.  As  Mr.  Aubrey 
walked  along  the  park,  the  shades  of  evening  casting  a 
deepening  gloom  around  him,  his  thoughts  involuntarily 
recurred  to  the  cottage  of  old  blind  Bess,  and  he  felt  vague 
apprehensions  flitting  with  darkening  shade  across  his 
mind.  Though  he  was  hardly  weak  enough  to  attach  any 
definite  meaning  or  importance  to  the  gibberish  he  had 
heard,  it  still  had  left  an  unpleasant  inipression,  and  he 
was  vexed  at  feeling  a  wish  that  the  incident  —  trifling  as 
he  was  willing  to  believe  it  —  should  not  be  mentioned 
by  Dr.  Tatham  at  the  Hall;  and  still  more  was  he  ex- 
cited when  he  recollected  that  he  had  purposely  abstained 
from  requesting  the  good  doctor  not  to  do  so.  All  this 
undoubtedly  implied  that  the  matter  had  occupied  Mr. 


296  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

Aubrey's  thoughts  to  a  greater  extent  than  he  secretly 
relished.  On  reaching,  however,  the  Hall  door,  this  brief 
pressure  on  his  feelings  quickly  ceased ;  for  on  entering, 
he  saw  Mrs.  Aubrey,  his  sister,  and  his  two  children,  at 
high  romps  together  in  the  hall,  and  he  heartily  joined 
in  them. 


TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAU.  29' 


CHAPTER  VIII. 

By  five  o'clock  the  little  party  were  seated  at  the  cheer- 
ful dinner-table,  glistening  with  the  old  family  plate  and 
that  kind  of  fere,  at  once  substantial  and  luxurious,  which 
befitted  the  occasion.  Old  Mrs.  Aubrey,  in  her  simple 
white  turban  and  black  velvet  dress,  presided  with  a 
kind  of  dignified  cheerfulness  which  was  delightful  to 
see.  Kate  had  contrived  to  make  herself  look  more 
lovely  even  than  usual,  wearing  a  dress  of  dark  blue 
satin,  tastefully  trimmed  with  blonde,  and  which  ex- 
quisitely comported  with  her  beautiful  complexion.  Oh 
that  Delamere  had  been  sitting  opposite  to,  or  beside  her! 
The  im.re  matured  proportions  of  her  blooming  sister-in- 
law  appeared  to  infinite  advantage  in  a  rich  green  velvet 
dress,  while  a  superb  diamond  glistened  with  subdued  lus- 
tre in  her  beautiful  bosom.  She  wore  no  ornaments  in 
her  dark  hair,  which  was,  as  indeed  might  be  said  of  Kate, 
M  when  unadorned,  adorned  the  most."  The  gray-headed 
old  butler,  (as  brisk  as  his  choicest  champagne,)  and  the 
teady-looking  old  family  servants,  going  about  their 
business  with  quiet  celerity  —  the  delicious  air  of  antique 
elegance  around  them — the  sense  of  profound  seclusion 

—  of  r  3   from  the  exciting  hubbub  of  the  world 

—  in  every  respect  this  was  a  <  'hristmas  dinner  after  one's 
own  heart!  Oh  the  merry  and  dear  old  Yatton  !  And 
as   if  there   were   not  loveliness  enough  already  in    the 

.  behold  the  door  suddenly  pushed  open,  as  soon  as 

I  is  arrayed  on  the  table,  and  run  up  to  his  gay 

and  laughing  mother,  her  little  son,  his  ample  snowy  col- 


298  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

lar  resting  gracefully  on  his  crimson  velvet  dress.  *T  is 
her  hope  and  pride  —  her  first-born  —  the  little  squire  ; 
but  where  is  his  sister1?  — where  is  Agnes]  'T  is  even  as 
Charles  says  —  she  fell  asleep  in  the  very  act  of  being 
dressed,  and  they  were  obliged  to  put  her  to  bed ;  so 
Charles  is  alone  in  his  glory.  You  may  well  fold  your 
delicate  white  arm  around  him,   mamma!  — 

His  little  gold  cup  is  nearly  filled  to  join  in  the  first 
toast  :  are  you  all  —  dear  little  circle  !  —  are  you  all 
ready  1  The  worthy  doctor  has  poured  old  Mrs.  Aubrey's, 
and  young  Mrs.  Aubrey's,  and  Kate's  glass  full  up  to  the 
brim:  —  "Our  next  Christmas!"  quoth  he,  cheerily  ele- 
vating  his  glass. 

Yes,  your  next  Christmas  !  The  vigilant  eye  of  Dr. 
Tatham  alone  perceived  a  faint  change  of  color  in  Mr. 
Aubrey's  cheek  as  the  words  were  uttered;  and  his  eye 
wandered  for  an  instant,  as  if  tracing  across  the  room  the 
image  of  old  blind  Bess ;  but  't  was  gone  in  a  moment ; 
Aubrey  was  soon  in  much  higher  spirits  than  usual.  Well 
he  might  be.  How  could  man  be  placed  in  happier  cir- 
cumstances than  he  was  1  As  soon  as  the  three  ladies 
had  withdrawn,  together  with  little  Aubrey,  the  doctor 
and  Mr.  Aubrey  drew  their  chairs  before  the  fire,  and  en- 
joyed a  long  hour's  pleasant  conversation,  on  matters  do- 
mestic and  political.  As  to  the  latter,  the  doctor  and  the 
squire  were  stout  Tories  ;  and  a  speech  which  Aubrey  had 
lately  delivered  in  the  House,  on  the  Catholic  claims,  had 
raised  him  to  a  pitch  of  eminence  in  the  doctor's  estimation, 
where  Aubrey  had  very  few  men  in  the  country  to  keep 
him  company.  The  doctor  here  got  on  very  fast  indeed  ; 
and  was  just  assuring  the  squire  that  he  saw  dark  days 
in  store  for  Old  England  from  the  machinations  of  the 
Papists;  and  that,  for  his  part,  he  should  rejoice  to  "seal 
his  testimony  with  his  blood,"  and  would  go  to  the  stake 
not  only  without  flinching,  but  rejoicing — (all  which  I 


TEN   THOUSAND    A- YEAR.  290 

verilv  believe  he  verily  believe il  lie  would  have  done)  and 
ooyeting  the  crown  of  martyrdom  —  when  Aubrey  caught 
md  of  his  Bister  playing  on  the  organ,  a  noble  instru- 
ment, which  a  year  or  two  before,  at  her  argent  request, 
he  had  purchased  ami  placed  in  the  drawing-room,  whither 
he  and  the  doctor  at  once  repaired.  T  was  a  spacious 
and  lofty  room,  well  calculated  for  the  splendid  instru- 
ment which  occupied  the  large  recess  fronting  the  door. 
Miss  Aubrey  was  playing  Handel,  and  with  an  exquisite 
perception  of  his  matchless  power  and  beauty.  Hark  ! 
did  you  ever  hear  the  grand  yet  simple  recitative  she  is 
now  commencing  ] 

of  Herod  the  king,  behold,  there  came  wise  men 
EasL  to  J<  rusalem, 

—  •  la  he  that  is  born  King  of  the  Jews  ?  for  we 

his  star  in  the  East,  and  are  corru  to  worship  him.1* 

The  doctor  officiated  as  chaplain  that  evening.      The 
room  was  almost  filled  with  servants,  many  of  whose  looks 
very  plainly  Bhowed  the  merry  doings  which  must  have 
been  going  on  in  the  servants'  hall.     Some  could  scarce 
their  eyes  open ;    one  or  two  sat  winking  at  each 
other!  and  others  were  fairly  asleep,  and  snoring!     Un- 
der the  circumstances,  therefore,  the  doctor,  with  much 
judgment,  read  very  short  prayers,  and  immediately  after- 
-  took  his  departure  for  his  snug  little  vicarage.    The 
:ightly,  the  air  was  clear  and  bracing,  and 
he  felt  as  blithe  as  a  bird  as  he  walked  homeward  ! 
The  next  morning,  which  proved  as  fine  as  the  preced- 
Mbc.  Aubrey   was  detained  in-doors  with  his  letters, 
and  one  or  two  other  little  matters  of  business  in  his  li- 
.   till  luncheon  time.     "What  say  you,  Kate,  to  a 
ride  round  the  country]"    said    he,  on  taking  his  seat. 
was  delighted  ;  and  forthwith  the   horses  were  or- 
dered to  be  got  ready  aa  soon  as  possible. 


300  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

11  You  must  not  mind  a  little  rough  riding,  Kate,  by 
the  way,"  said  Aubrey ;  "  for  we  shall  have  to  get  over 
some  ugly  places! — I'm  going  to  meet  Waters  at  the 
end  of  the  avenue,  about  that  old  sycamore  —  we  must 
have  it  down  at  last." 

"  Oh  no,  Charles,  no ;  I  thought  we  had  settled  that 
last  year  !  "  replied  Kate,  earnestly. 

11  Pho  !  if  it  had  not  been  for  you,  Kate,  it  would  have 
been  down  two  years  ago  at  least.  Its  hour  is  come  at 
last ;  't  is  indeed,  so  no  pouting  !  It  is  injuring  the  other 
trees ;  and,  besides,  it  spoils  the  prospect  from  the  left 
wing  of  the  house." 

"  'T  is  only  Waters  that  puts  all  these  things  into  your 
head,  Charles,  and  I  shall  let  him  know  my  opinion  on 
the  subject  when  I  see  him  !  Mamma,  have  n't  you  a 
word  to  say  for  the  old  " 

But  Mr.  Aubrey,  not  deeming  it  discreet  to  await  the 
new  force  which  was  being  brought  against  him,  started 
off  to  inspect  a  newly  purchased  horse,  just  brought  to 
the   stables. 

Kate,  who  really  became  everything,  looked  charming 
in  her  blue  riding-habit  and  hat,  sitting  on  her  horse  with 
infinite  ease  and  grace  ;  in  fact,  a  capital  horsewoman. 
The  exercise  soon  brought  a  rich  bloom  upon  her  cheek  ; 
and  as  she  cantered  along  the  road  by  the  side  of  her 
brother,  no  one  could  have  met  them  without  being  al- 
most startled  at  her  beauty.  Just  as  they  had  dropped 
into  an  easy  walk  — 

"  Charles,"  said  she,  observing  two  horsemen  approach- 
ing them,  "  who  can  these  be  1  Heavens  !  did  you  ever 
see  such  figures  1     Aud  how  they  ride  !  " 

"  Why,  certainly,"  replied  her  brother,  smiling,  "  they 
look  a  brace  of  arrant  Cockneys !  Ah,  ha  !  —  what  can 
they  be  doing  in  these  parts'?" 

"  Dear  me,   what  puppies ! "  exclaimed  Miss  Aubrey, 


TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR.  301 

lowering    her    voiee    as    they    neared    the    persons   she 
spoke   of. 

"  They  art  certainly  a  most  extraordinary  couple  ! 
Who  can  they  be?"  said  Mr.  Aubrey,  a  smile  forcing 
itself  into  his  features.  One  of  the  gentlemen  thus  re- 
ferred to,  was  dressed  in  a  light  blue  surtout,  with  the 
tip  of  a  white  pocket-handkerchief  seen  peeping  out  of  a 
pocket  in  the  front  of  it.  His  hat,  with  scarce  any  brim 
to  it.  was  stuck  aslant  on  the  top  of  a  bushy  head  of 
queer-colored  hair.  His  shirt-collar  was  turned  down  com- 
pletely over  his  stock,  displaying  a  great  quantity  of  dirt- 
colored  hair  under  his  chin  ;  while  a  pair  of  mustaches,  of 
the  same  color,  were  sprouting  upon  his  upper  lip,  and 
a  perpendicular  tuft  depended  from  his  under  lip.  A 
quizzing-glass  was  stuck  in  his  right  eye,  and  in  his  hand 
he  carried  a  whip  with  a  shining  silver  head.  The  other 
was  almost  equally  distinguished  by  the  elegance  of  his 
appearance.  He  had  a  glossy  hat,  a  purple-colored  velvet 
waistcoat,  two  pins  connected  by  little  chains  in  his  stock, 
a  bottle-green  surtout,  sky-blue  trousers,  and  a  most  splen- 
did riding-whip.  In  short,  who  should  these  be  but  our 
old  friends.  Messrs.  Titmouse  and  Snap  1  Whoever  they 
might  be  —  and  whatever  their  other  accomplishments, 
it  was  plain  that  they  were  perfect  novices  on  horseback ; 
and  their  horses  had  every  appearance  of  having  been  much 
fretted  and  worried  by  their  riders.  To  the  surprise  of 
Mr.  Aubrey  and  his  sister,  these  two  personages  attempted 
to  rein  in  as  they  neared,  and  evidently  intended  to  speak 
to  them. 

"Pray — a  —  sir,  will  you,  sir,  tell  us,"  commenced 
Titmouse,  with  a  desperate  attempt  to  appear  at  his 
ease,  as  he  tried  to  make  his  horse  stand  still  for  a 
moment  —  "isn't  there  a  place  called  —  called"  —  here 
his  horse,  whose  sides  were  constantly  being  galled  by 
the  spurs  of  its  unconscious  rider,  began  to  back  a  lit- 


302  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAK. 

tie  ;  then  to  go  on  one  side,  and,  in  Titmouse's  fright, 
his  glass  dropped  from  his  eye,  and  he  seized  hold  of  the 
pommel.  Nevertheless,  to  show  the  lady  how  completely 
he  was  at  his  ease  all  the  while,  he  levelled  a  great  many 
oaths  and  curses  at  the  unfortunate  eyes  and  soul  of  his 
wayward  brute  j  who,  however,  not  in  the  least  moved  by 
them,  but  infinitely  disliking  the  spurs  of  its  rider  and 
the  twisting  round  of  its  mouth  by  the  reins,  seemed 
more  and  more  inclined  for  mischief,  and  backed  close 
up  to  the  edge  of  the  ditch. 

"  I  'm  afraid,  sir/'  said  Mr.  Aubrey,  kindly  and  very 
earnestly,  "you  are  not  much  accustomed  to  riding. 
Will  you  permit  me  " 

"  Oh,  yes  —  ye  —  ye  —  s,  sir,  I  am  though,  —  uncom- 
mon —  whee-o-uy  !  whuoy  !  "  —  (then  a  fresh  volley  of 
oaths.)  "Oh,  dear,  'pon  my  soul  —  ho!  my  eyes!  — 
what  —  what  is  he  going  to  do  !  Snap  !  Snap  !  "  —  'T  was, 
however,  quite  in  vain  to  call  on  that  gentleman  for  assis- 
tance ;  for  he  had  grown  as  pale  as  death,  on  finding  that 
his  own  brute  seemed  strongly  disposed  to  follow  the 
infernal  example  (or  rather,  as  it  were,  the  converse  of  it) 
of  the  other,  and  was  particularly  inclined  to  rear  up  on 
its  hind-legs.  The  very  first  motion  of  that  sort  brought 
Snap's  heart  (not  large  enough,  perhaps,  to  choke  him)  • 
into  his  mouth.  Titmouse's  beast,  in  the  mean  while, 
suddenly  wheeled  round  ;  and  throwing  its  hind  feet  into 
the  air,  sent  its  terrified  rider  flying  head  over  heels  into 
the  very  middle  of  the  hedge,  from  which  he  dropped 
into  the  soft  wet  ditch  on  the  road-side.  Both  Mr.  Au- 
brey and  his  groom  immediately  dismounted,  and  secured 
the  horse,  who,  having  got  rid  of  its  ridiculous  rider,  stood 
perfectly  quiet.  Titmouse  proved  to  be  more  frightened 
than  hurt.  His  hat  was  crushed  flat  on  his  head,  and 
half  the  left  side  of  his  face  covered  with  mud — as,  in- 
deed,  were  his  clothes  all  the  way  down.     The  groom 


TEX    THOUSAND    A-YKAK.  303 

(almost  splitting  with  laughter)  helped  him  on  his  horse 
again  ;  and  as  Mr.  and  Miss  Aubrey  were  setting  oiT  — 
'•  1  think,  sir."  said  the  former,  politely,  "you  were  inquir- 
ing for  some  place  I '' 

••  Fee,  mi\"  quoth  Snap.  ■«  Is  n't  there  a  place  called 
Ya  —  Vat  —  Yat  —  (be  quiet,  you  brute  ! )  —  Yatton 
about  here  ? " 

••  Yes,  sir  —  Btraight  on,"  replied  Mr.  Aubrey.  Miss 
Aubrey  hastily  threw  her  veil  over  her  face,  to  conceal 
her  laughter,  urging  on  her  horse  ;  and  she  and  her 
brother  were  soon  out  of  sight  of  the  strangers. 

MI  say.  Sua})/'  quoth  Titmouse,  when  he  had  in  a 
re  cleansed  himself,  and  they  had  both  got  a  little 
composed,  "  see  that  lovely  gal  ?  " 

"  Fine  gal  —  devilish  fine  !  "  replied  Snap. 

••  I  'm  blessed  if  I  don't  think —  'pon  my  life,  I  believe 
we  've  met  before  ! '' 

"  Did  n't  seem  to  know  you  though !  " quoth  Snap, 

somewhat  dryly. 

"  Ah  !  you  don't  know  —  How  uncommon  infernal  un- 
fortunate to  happen  just  at  the  moment  when" Tit- 
mouse became  silent;  for  all  of  a  sudden  he  recollected 
when  and  where,  and  under  what  circumstances  he  had 
seen  Miss  Aubrey  before,  and  which  his  vanity  would  not 
allow  of  his  telling  Snap.  The  fact  was,  that  she  had 
once  accompanied  her  sister-in-law  to  Messrs.  Tag-rag  and 
Company's,  to  purchase  some  small  matter  of  mercery. 
Titmouse  had  served  them  ;  and  his  absurdity  of  manner 
and  personal  appearance  had  provoked  a  smile,  which  Tit- 
•  a  little  misconstrued;  for  when,  a  Sunday  or  two 
afterwards,  lie  met  her  in  the  Park,  the  little  fool  actually 
had  the  presumption  to  nod  to  her — she  having  not  the 
■lightest  notion  who  the  little  wretch  might  be  —  and  of 
not  having,  on  the  present  occasion,  the  least. 
recollection  of  him.     The  reader  will  recollect  that  this 


304  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

incident  made  a  deep  impression  on  the  mind  of  Mr. 
Titmouse. 

The  coincidence  was  really  not  a  little  singular  —  but 
to  return  to  Mr.  Aubrey  and  his  sister.  After  riding  a 
mile  or  two  farther  up  the  road,  they  leaped  over  a  very 
low  mound  or  fence,  which  formed  the  extreme  boundary 
of  that  part  of  the  estate,  and  having  passed  through  a 
couple  of  fields,  they  entered  the  eastern  extremity  of  that 
fine  avenue  of  elms,  at  the  higher  end  of  which  stood 
Kate's  favorite  tree,  and  also  Waters  and  his  under-bailiff 
—  who  looked  to  her  like  a  couple  of  executioners,  only 
awaiting  the  fiat  of  her  brother.  The  sun  shone  brightly 
upon  the  doomed  sycamore  —  "the  axe  was  laid  at  its 
root."  As  they  rode  up  the  avenue,  Kate  begged  very 
hard  for  mercy ;  but  for  once  her  brother  seemed  obdu- 
rate —  the  tree,  he  said,  must  come  down  —  't  was  all  non- 
sense to  think  of  leaving  it  standing  any  longer  !  — 

"  Eemember,  Charles,"  said  she,  passionately,  as  they 
drew  up,  "  how  we  've  all  of  us  romped  and  sported  under 
it !     Poor  papa  also  " 

"  See,  Kate,  how  rotten  it  is,"  said  her  brother  J  and 
riding  close  to  it,  with  his  whip  he  snapped  off  two  or 
three  of  its  feeble  silvery-gray  branches  —  "it's  high 
time  for  it  to  come  down." 

"  It  fills  the  grass  all  round  with  little  branches,  sir, 
whenever  there  's  the  least  breath  of  wind,"  said  Waters. 

"  It  won't  hardly  hold  a  crow's  weight  on  the  topmost 
branches,  sir,"  added  Dickons,  the  under-bailifF,  very 
modestly. 

"Had  it  any  leaves  last  summer?"  inquired  Mr.  Aubrey. 

"  I  don't  think,  sir,"  replied  Waters,  "  it  had  a  hundred 
all  over  it !  " 

"Really,  Kate,"  said  her  brother,  "'tis  such  a  melan- 
choly, unsightly  object,  when  seen  from  any  part  of  the 
Hall "  —  turning  round  on  his  horse  to  look  at  the  rear 


TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAB.  303 

of  the  Hall,  which  was  at  about  two  hundred  yards'  dis- 
tance. "It  looks  such  an  old  withered  thing  among  the 
fresh  green  trees  around  it  —  't  is  quite  a  painful  con- 
trast." Kate  had  gently  urged  on  her  horse  while  her 
brother  was  speaking,  till  she  was  close  beside  him, 
"Charles,"  said  she,  in  a  low  whisper,  "does  not  it  re- 
mind you  a  little  of  poor  old  mamma,  with  her  gray  hairs, 
among  her  children  and  grandchildren?  She  is  not  out 
of  place  among  us — is  she  I  "  Her  eyes  filled  with  tears. 
-     did  her  brother's. 

"  Dearest  Kate,"  said  he,  with  emotion,  affectionately 
grasping  her  little  hand,  "you  have  triumphed  !  The  old 
tree  shall  never  be  cut  down  in  my  time!  Waters,  let 
the  tree  stand  :  and  if  anything  is  to  be  done  to  it  —  let 
the  greatest  possible  care  be  taken  of  it."  Miss  Aubrey 
turned  her  head  aside  to  conceal  her  emotion.  Had  they 
been  alone,  she  would  have  flung  her  arms  round  her 
brother's  neck. 

"  If  I  were  to  speak  my  mind,  sir,"  said  the  compliant 
Waters,  seeing  the  turn  things  were  taking,  "  I  should 
say,  with  our  young  lady,  the  old  tree  's  quite  a  kind  of 
ornament  in  this  here  situation,  and  (as  one  might  say)  it 
sets  oil'  the  rest."  [It  was  he  who  had  been  worrying  Mr. 
Aubrey  for  these  last  three  years  to  have  it  cut  down  !  ] 

"Well,"  replied  Mr.  Aubrey,  "  however  that  maybe, 
let  me  hear  no  more  of  cutting  it  down  —  Ah  !  what  does 
old  Jolter  want  here  ]  "  said  he,  observing  an  old  tenant  of 
that  name,  almost  bsnt  double  with  age,  hobbling  towards 
them.  He  was  wrapped  up  in  a  coarse  thick  blue  coat; 
his  hair  was  long  and  white  ;  his  eyes  dim  and  glassy  with 

"  I  don't  know,  sir  —  I  '11  go  and  see,"  said  Waters. 
"What's  the  matter,  Jolter?"  he   inquired,  stepping 
forward  to  meet  him. 

"Nothing  much,  sir,"  replied  the  old  man,  feebly,  and 

VOL.  I.  —  20 


306  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

panting,  taking  off  his  hat,  and  bowing  very  low  towards 
Mr.  and  Miss  Aubrey. 

"Put  your  hat  on,  my  old  friend,"  said  Mr.  Aubrey, 
kindly. 

"  I  only  come  to  bring  you  this  bit  of  paper,  sir,  if  you 
please,"  said  the  old  man,  addressing  Waters.  "  You  said, 
a  while  ago,  as  how  I  was  always  to  bring  you  papers  that 
were  left  with  me;  and  this"  —  taking  one  out  of  his 
pocket  — "  was  left  with  me  only  about  an  hour  ago. 
It 's  seemingly  a  lawyer's  paper,  and  was  left  by  an  un- 
common gay  young  chap.  He  asked  me  my  name,  and 
then  he  looked  at  the  paper,  and  read  it  all  over  to  me, 
but  I  could  n't  make  anything  of  it." 

"What  is  it?"  inquired  Mr.  Aubrey,  as  Waters  cast 
his  eye  over  a  sheet  of  paper,  partly  printed  and  partly 
written. 

"  Why,  it  seems  the  old  story,  sir  —  that  slip  of  waste 
land,  sir.     Mr.  Tomkins  is  at  it  again,  sir." 

"Well,  if  he  chooses  to  spend  his  money  in  that  way, 
I  can't  help  it,"  said  Mr.  Aubrey,  with  a  smile.  "  Let  me 
look  at  the  paper."  He  did  so.  "  Yes,  it  seems  the  same 
kind  of  thing  as  before.  Well,"  handing  it  back,  "  send 
it  to  Mr.  Parkinson,  and  tell  him  to  look  to  it ;  and,  at  all 
events,  take  care  that  poor  old  Jolter  comes  to  no  trouble 
by  the  business.     How  's  the  old  wife,  Jacob  ?  " 

"  She 's  dreadful  bad  with  rheumatis,  sir ;  but  the  stuff 
that  Madam  sends  her  does  her  a  woundy  deal  of  good, 
sir,  in  her  inside." 

"  Well,  we  must  try  if  we  can't  send  you  some  more ; 
and,  harkee,  if  the  goodwife  does  n't  get  better  soon,  send 
us  up  word  to  the  Hall,  and  we  '11  have  the  doctor  call 
on  her.  Now,  Kate,  let  us  away  homeward."  And  they 
were  soon  out  of  sight. 

I  do  not  intend  to  deal  so  unceremoniously  or  summa- 
rily as  Mr.  Aubrey  did,  with  the  document  which  had 


TEX  THOUSAND  A-YEAR.  307 

been  brought  to  his  notice  by  Jolter,  then  handed  over 
to  "Waters,  and  by  him,  according  to  orders,  transmitted 
the  next  day  to  Mr.  Parkinson,  Mr.  Aubrey's  attorney. 
It  was  what  is  called  a  "  Declaration  in  Ejectment  ; " 
touching  which,  in  order  to  throw  a  ray  or  two  of  light 
upon  a  document  which  will  make  no  small  figure  in  this 
history,  I  shall  try  to  give  the  reader  a  little  information 
on  the  point  ;  and  hope  that  a  little  attention  to  what 
now  follows,  will  be  repaid  in  due  time.  Here  beginneth 
a  little  lecture  on  law. 

If  Jones  claim  a  debt,  or  goods,  or  damages,  from  Smith, 
one  should  think  that,  if  he  went  to  law,  the  action  would 
be  entitled  "Jones  versus  Smith  ;"  and  so  it  is.  But  be- 
hold, if  it  be  land  which  is  claimed  by  Jones  from  Smith, 
the  style  and  name  of  the  cause  stand  thus  :  —  "  Doe,  on 
the  demise  of  Jones,  versus  Roe."  Instead,  therefore,  of 
Jones  and  Smith  fighting  out  the  matter  in  their  own 
proper  names,  they  set  up  a  couple  of  puppets,  (called 
"  John  Doe "  and  "  Richard  Roe,")  who  fall  upon  one 
another  in  a  very  quaint  fashion,  after  the  manner  of 
Punch  and  Judy.  John  Doe  pretends  to  be  the  real 
plaintiff,  and  Richard  Roe  the  real  defendant.  John 
Doe  says  that  the  land  which  Richard  Roe  has,  is  his, 
(the  said  John  Doe's,)  because  Jones  (the  real  plaintiff) 
gave  him  a  lease  of  it  ;  and  Jones  is  then  called  "  the 
lessor  of  the  plaintiff."  John  Doe  further  says  that  one 
Richard  Roe,  (who  calls  himself  by  the  very  significant 
and  expressive  name  of  a  "  Casual  Ejector")  came  and 
turned  him  out,  and  so  John  Doe  brings  his  action  against 
Richard  Roe.  T  is  a  fact,  that  whenever  land  is  sought 
to  be  recovered  in  England,  this  anomalous  and  farcical 
proceeding  must  be  adopted.15  It  is  the  duty  of  the  real 
plaint  iff  ("Jones)  to  serve  on  the  real  defendant  (Smith) 
a  copy  of  the  queer  document  which  I  shall  proceed  to 
lay  before  the  reader  ;  and  also  to  append  to  it  an  affec- 


308  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

tionate  note,  intimating  the  serious  consequences  which 
will  ensue  upon  inattention  or  contumacy.  The  "  Decla- 
ration," then,  which  had  been  served  upon  old  Jolter,  was 
in  the  words,  letters,  and  figures  following  —  that  is  to 
say  :  — 

"In  the  King's  Bench. 

"  Michaelmas  Term,  the of  King . 

"Yorkshire,  to-wit  —  Richard  Roe  was  attached  to  answer 
John  Doe  of  a  plea  wherefore  the  said  Richard  Roe,  with  force 
and  arms,  &c,  entered  into  two  messuages,  two  dwelling-houses, 
two  cottages,  two  stables,  two  out-houses,  two  yards,  two  gar- 
dens, two  orchards,  twenty  acres  of  land  covered  with  water, 
twenty  acres  of  arable  land,  twenty  acres  of  pasture  land,  and 
twenty  acres  of  other  land,  with  the  appurtenances,  situated  in 
Yatton,  in  the  county  of  York,  which  Tittlebat  Titmouse, 
Esquire,  had  demised  to  the  said  John  Doe  for  a  term  which 
is  not  yet  expired,  and  ejected  him  from  his  said  farm,  and 
other  wrongs  to  the  said  John  Doe  there  did,  to  the  great 
damage  of  the  said  John  Doe,  and  against  the  peace  of  our 
Lord  the  King,  &c.  ;  and  Thereupon  the  said  John  Doe,  by 
Oily  Gammon,  his  attorney,  complains, — 

"That  whereas  the  said  Tittlebat  Titmouse,  on  the  —  th 
day  of  August,  in  the  year  of  our  Lord  18  —  ,  at  Yatton  afore- 
said, in  the  county  aforesaid,  had  demised  the  same  tenements, 
with  the  appurtenances,  to  the  said  John  Doe,  to  have  and  to 
hold  the  same  to  the  said  John  Doe  and  his  assigns  thenceforth, 
for  and  during,  and  unto  the  full  end  and  term  of  twenty  years 
thence  next  ensuing,  and  fully  to  be  completed  and  ended  : 
By  virtue  of  which  said  demise,  the  said  John  Doe  entered 
into  the  said  tenements,  with  the  appurtenances,  and  became 
and  was  thereof  possessed  for  the  said  term,  so  to  him  thereof 
granted  as  aforesaid.  And  the  said  John  Doe  being  so  thereof 
possessed,  the  said  Richard  Roe  afterwards,  to-wit,  on  the  day 
and  year  aforesaid,  at  the  parish  aforesaid,  in  the  county  afore- 
said, with  force  and  arms,  that  is  to  say  with  swords,  staves, 
and  knives,  &c,  entered  into  the  said  tenements,  with  the 
appurtenances,  which  the  said  Tittlebat  Titmouse  had  de- 
mised to  the  said  John  Doe  in  manner  and  for  the  term  afore- 


TEX    THOUSAND   A-YEAR.  309 

Baidj  which  is  not  yet  expired,  and  ejected  the  said  John  Doe  out 
of  his  said  farm;  and  other  wrongs  to  the  said  John  Doe  then 
and  there  did,  to  the  great  damage  of  the  said  John  Doc  and 
against  the  peace  of  our  said  Lord  the  now  King.  Where- 
fore the  said  John  Doe  saith  that  he  is  injured,  and  hath  sus- 
tained damage  to  the  value  of  £50,  and  therefore  he  brings  his 
suit.  A  . 

••  Squeal,  for  the  Plaintiff,    f     Pledges  of  \  John  Den. 
Growl,  for  the  Defendant.  |  Prosecution.  >  Richard  Fenn. 

••  Mr.  Jacob  Jolteb, 

"  I  am  informed  that  you  are  in  possession  of,  or  claim  title 
to,  the  premises  in  this  Declaration  of  Ejectment  mentioned, 
or  to  some  part  thereof :     And  I,  being  sued  in  this  action  as 

inly,  and  having  no  claim  or  title  to  the  same, 
do  advise  you  to  appear,  next  Hilary  term,  in  His  Majesty's 
Court  of  King's  Bench  at  Westminster,  by  some  attorney  of 
that  Court  ;  and  then  and  there,  by  a  rule  to  be  made  of  the 
same  ( lourt,  to  cause  yourself  to  be  made  defendant  in  my  stead  ; 
otherwise,  I  shall  suffer  judgment  to  be  entered  against  me  by 
default,  and  you  will  be  turned  out  of  possession. 

"  Your  loving  friend,  Richard  Roe. 

"Dated  this  Sth  day  of  December  IS—."  w 

You  may  regard  the  above  document  in  the  lights  of 
a  deadly  and  destructive  missile,  thrown  by  an  unper- 
ceived  enemy  into  a  peaceful  citadel ;  attracting  no  par- 
ticular notice  from  the  innocent  unsuspecting  inhabitants 
—  among  whom,  nevertheless,  it  presently  explodes,  and 
all  is  terror,   death,  and  ruin. 

Mr.  Parkinson,  Mr.  Aubrey's  solicitor,  who  resided  at 
Grilston,  the  post-town  nearest  to  Yatton,  from  which  it 
was  distant  about  six  or  seven  miles,  was  sitting  on  the 
evening  of  Tuesday  the  28th  December  18  — ,  in  his 
office,  nearly  finishing  a  letter  to  his  London  agents, 
Etunnington  and  Company — one  of  the  most 
eminent  firms  in  the  profession  —  and  which  he  was  de- 


310  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

sirous  of  despatching  by  that  night's  mail.  Among  other 
papers  which  have  come  into  my  hands  in  connection 
with  this  history,  I  have  happened  to  light  on  the  letter 
which  he  was  writing ;  and  as  it  is  not  long,  and  affords 
a  specimen  of  the  way  in  which  business  is  carried  on 
between  town  and  country  attorneys  and  solicitors,  here 
followeth  a  copy  of  it :  — 

"Grilston,  28th  Dec.  18  — . 
"Dear  Sirs, 

"  Re  Middleton. 

"  Have  you  got  the  marriage-settlements  between  these  par- 
ties ready  1  If  so,  please  send  them  as  soon  as  possible  ;  for 
both  the  lady's  and  gentleman's  friends  are  (as  usual  in  such 
cases)  very  pressing  for  them. 

"  Puddinghead  v.  Quickwit. 

"  Plaintiff  bought  a  horse  of  defendant  in  November  last, 
1  warranted  sound,'  and  paid  for  it  on  the  spot  ,£64.  A  week 
afterwards,  his  attention  was  accidentally  drawn  to  the  animal's 
head ;  and  to  his  infinite  surprise,  he  discovered  that  the  left 
eye  was  a  glass  eye,  so  closely  resembling  the  other  in  color, 
that  the  difference  could  not  be  discovered  except  on  a  very 
close  examination.  I  have  seen  it  myself,  and  it  is  indeed 
wonderfully  well  done.  My  countrymen  are  certainly  pretty 
sharp  hands  in  such  matters  —  but  this  beats  everything  I 
ever  heard  of.  Surely  this  is  a  breach  of  the  warranty  1  Or  is 
it  to  be  considered  a  patent  defect,  which  would  not  be-within 
the  warranty  ? 17  —  Please  take  pleader's  opinion,  and  particu- 
larly as  to  whether  the  horse  could  be  brought  into  court  to  be 
viewed  by  the  court  and  jury,  which  would  have  a  great  effect. 
If  your  pleader  thinks  the  action  will  lie,  let  him  draw  dec- 
laration, venue  —  Lancashire  (for  my  client  would  have  no 
chance  with  a  Yorkshire  jury,)  if  you  think  the  venue  is  tran- 
sitory, and  that  defendant  would  not  be  successful  on  a  motion 
to  change  it.  Qu.  —  Is  the  man  who  sold  the  horse  to  defend- 
ant a  competent1*  ivitness  for  the  plaintiff,  to  prove  that,  when 
he  sold  it  to  defendant,  it  had  but  one  eye,  and  that  on  this 
account  the  horse  was  sold  for  less  1 


TEN   THOUSAND   A-VK.VK.  311 

-  Mule  v.  Stott. 

"  I  cannot  get  these  parties  to  come  to  an  amicable  settle- 
ment. You  may  remember,  from  the  two  former  actions,  that 
it  is  for  damages  on  accounl  of  two  geese  of  defendant  having 
been  found  trespassing  on  a  few  yards  of  a  field  belonging 
to  the  plaintiff.  Defendant  now  contends  that  he  is  entitled  to 
common,  pour  eaum  de  vicinage.  Qu. — Can  this  be  shown 
under  Not  Guilty,  or  must  it  be  pleaded  specially/  —  About 
two  years  ago,  by  the  way,  a  pig  belonging  to  plaintiff  got  into 
defendant's  flower-garden,  and  did  at  least  £3  worth  of  damage 
—  Can  this  be  in  any  way  set  off  against  the  present  action? 
There  is  no  hope  of  avoiding  a  third  trial,  as  the  parties  are 
now  more  exasperated  against  each  other  than  ever,  and  the 
expense  (as  at  least  fifteen  witnesses  will  be  called  on  each 
side)  will  amount  to  upwards  of  £250.  You  had  better  retain 
Mr.  Cacklegander. 

••  Re  Lords  Ohlacre  and  De  la  Zouch. 
u  Are  the  deeds  herein  engrossed  ?     As  it  is  a  matter  of  mag- 
nitude, and  the  foundation  of  extensive  and  permanent  family 
arrangements,  pray   let  the  greatest  care  be  taken  to  secure 
accuracy.     Please  take  special  care  of  the  stamps  " 

Thus  far  had  the  worthy  writer  proceeded  with  his 
letter,  when  Waters  made  his  appearance,  delivering  to 
him  the  declaration  in  ejectment  which  had  been  served 
upon  old  Jolter,  and  also  the  instructions  concerning  it 
which  had  been  given  by  Mr.  Aubrey.  After  Mr.  Park- 
inson had  asked  particularly  concerning  Mr.  Aubrey's 
health,  and  what  had  brought  him  so  suddenly  to  Yat- 
ton,  he  cast  his  eye  hastily  over  the  "  Declaration  "  — 
and  at  once  and  contemptuously  came  to  the  same  con- 
clusion concerning  it  which  had  been  arrived  at  by 
Waters  and  Mr.  Aubrey,  viz.  that  it  was  another  little 
out  of  the  quiver  <>f  the  litigious  Mr.  Tomkins. 
As  soon  at  Waters  had  left,  Mr.  Parkinson  thus  pro- 
ceeded to  conclude  his  letter:  — 


312  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

"  Doe  dem.  Titmouse  v.  Roe. 
"  I  enclose  you  Declaration  herein,  served  yesterday.  No 
doubt  it  is  the  disputed  slip  of  waste  land  adjoining  the  cottage 
oi»  old  Jacob  Jolter,  a  tenant  of  Mr.  Aubrey  of  Yatton,  that  is 
sought  to  be  recovered.  I  am  quite  sick  of  this  petty  annoy- 
ance, as  also  is  Mr.  Aubrey,  who  is  now  down  here.  Please 
call  on  Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon,  and  Snap,  of  Saffron  Hill, 
and  settle  the  matter  finally,  on  the  best  terms  you  can  ;  it 
being  Mr.  Aubrey's  wish  that  old  Jolter  (who  is  very  feeble 
and  timid)  should  suffer  no  inconvenience.  I  observe  a  new 
lessor  of  the  plaintiff,  with  a  very  singular  name.  I  suppose  it 
is  the  name  of  some  prior  holder  of  the  acre  or  two  of  property 
at  present  held  by  Mr.  Tomkins. 

"Hoping  soon  to  hear  from  you,  (particularly  about  the 
marriage-settlement,)  I  am, 

"  Dear  Sirs, 

"  (With  all  the  compliments  of  the  season,) 

"  Yours  truly, 

"  James  Parkinson. 
"Messrs.  Runnington  &  Co. 

4i  P.  S.  —  The  oysters  and  codfish  came  to  hand  in  excellent 
order,  for  which  please  accept  my  best  thanks. 

"  I  shall  remit  you  in  a  day  or  two  .£100  on  account." 

This  letter,  lying  among  some  twenty  or  thirty  similar 
ones  on  Mr.  Runnington's  table,  on  the  morning  of  its 
arrival  in  town,  was  opened  in  its  turn  ;  and  then,  in  like 
manner,  with  most  of  the  others,  handed  over  to  the  man- 
aging clerk,  in  order  that  he  might  inquire  into  and  re- 
port upon  the  state  of  the  various  matters  of  business 
referred  to.  As  to  the  last  item  (Doe  dem.  Titmouse  v. 
Roe)  in  Mr.  Parkinson's  letter,  there  seemed  no  particular 
reason  for  hurrying  ;  so  two  or  three  days  had  elapsed 
before  Mr.  Runnington,  having  some  little  casual  busi- 
ness to  transact  with  Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon,  and  Snap, 
bethought  himself  of  looking  at  his  Diary,  to  see  if  there 
were  not  something  else  that  he  had  to  do  with  that  very 


TEX    THOUSAND    A-YEAK.  313 

sharp  "  house.''  Putting,  therefore,  the  Declaration  in 
Doe  d.  Titmousi  \.  R  into  his  pocket,  it  was  not  long 
before  lie  was  to  be  seen  at  the  office  in  Saffron  Hill  — 
and  in  the  very  room  in  it  which  had  been  the  scene  of 
A  memorable  interviews  between  Mr.  Tittlebat  Tit- 
mouse  and  Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon,  and  Snap.  I  shall 
not  detail  what  transpired  on  that  occasion  between  Mr. 
Runnington,  and  Messrs.  Quirk  and  Gammon,  with  whom 
he  was  closeted  for  nearly  an  hour.  On  quitting  the 
office  his  cheek  was  Hushed,  and  his  manner  somewhat 
excited.  After  walking  a  little  way  in  a  moody  manner 
and  with  slow  step,  he  suddenly  jumped  into  a  hackney- 
coach,  and  within  a  quarter  of  an  hour's  time  had  secured 
an  inside  place  in  the  Tally-ho  coach,  which  started  for 
York  at  two  o'clock  that  afternoon  —  much  doubting 
within  himself,  the  while,  whether  he  ought  not  to  have 
set  off  at  once  in  a  post-chaise  and  four.  He  then  made 
one  or  two  calls  in  the  Temple  ;  and,  hurrying  home  to 
the  office,  made  hasty  arrangements  for  his  sudden  jour- 
ney into  Yorkshire.  He  was  a  calm  and  experienced 
man  —  in  fact,  a  first-rate  man  of  business  ;  and  you 
may  be  assured  that  this  rapid  and  decisive  movement  of 
his  had  been  the  result  of  some  very  startling  disclosure 
made  to  him  by  Messrs.   Quirk  and  Gammon. 

.  let  us  glide  back  to  the  delightful  solitude  which 
we  reluctantly  quitted  so  short  a  time  ago. 

Mr.  Aubrey  was  a  studious  and  ambitious  man;  and  in 
acceding  so  readily  to  the  wishes  of  his  wife  and  sister, 
od  the  Christmas  recess  at  Yatton,  had  been  not 
a  little  influenced  by  one  consideration,  which  he  had 
not  thought  it  worth  while  to  mention  —  namely,  that 
it  would  afford  him  an  opportunity  of  addressing  himself 
with  effect  to  a  very  important  and  complicated  question, 
which  was  to  be  brought  before  the  House  shortly  after 
sibling,  and  of  which   he  then  knew,  compara- 


314  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

tively  speaking,  nothing  at  all.  For  this  purpose  he  had 
had  a  quantity  of  Parliamentary  papers,  &c.  &c.  &c., 
packed  up  and  sent  down  by  coach ;  and  he  quite  gloated 
over  the  prospect  of  their  being  duly  deposited  upon  his 
table,  in  the  tranquil  leisure  of  his  library,  at  Yatton. 
But  quietly  as  he  supposed  all  this  to  have  been  man- 
aged, Mrs.  -Aubrey  and  Kate  had  a  most  accurate  knowl- 
edge of  his  movements,  and  resolved  within  themselves, 
(being  therein  comforted  and  assisted  by  old  Mrs.  Au- 
brey,) that,  as  at  their  instances  Mr.  Aubrey  had  come 
down  to  Yatton,  so  they  would  take  care  that  he  should 
have  not  merely  nominal,  but  real  holidays.  Unless 
he  thought  fit  to  rise  at  an  early  hour  in  the  morning, 
(which  Mrs.  Aubrey,  junior,  took  upon  herself  to  say  she 
would  take  care  should  never  be  the  case,)  it  was  decreed 
that  he  should  not  be  allowed  to  waste  more  than  two 
hours  a-day  alone  in  his  library.  'T  was  therefore  in  vain 
for  him  to  sit  at  breakfast  with  eye  aslant  and  thought- 
laden  brow,  as  if  meditating  a  long  day's  seclusion  ;  some- 
how or  another,  he  never  got  above  an  hour  to  himself. 
He  was  often  momentarily  petulant  on  these  occasions, 
and  soon  saw  through  the  designs  of  his  enemies ;  but  he 
so  heartily  and  tenderly  loved  them  —  so  thoroughly  ap- 
preciated the  affection  which  dictated  their  little  ma- 
noeuvres —  that  he  soon  surrendered  at  discretion,  and, 
in  fact,  placed  himself  almost  entirely  at  their  mercy  ; 
resolving  to  make  up  for  lost  time  on  his  return  to  town, 
and  earnestly  hoping  that  the  interests  of  the  nation 
wTould  not  suffer  in  the  mean  while  !  In  short,  the  ladies 
of  Yatton  had  agreed  on  their  line  of  operations  :  that 
almost  every  night  of  their  stay  in  the  country  should  be 
devoted  either  to  entertaining  or  visiting  their  neighbors ; 
and  as  a  preparatory  movement,  that  the  days  (weather 
permitting)  should  be  occupied  with  exercise  in  the  open 
air ;  in  making  "  morning"  calls  on  neighbors  at  several 


TEX   THOUSAND   A-YEAR.  315 

miles' distance  from  the  Hall  ami  from  each  other ;  and 
from  which  they  generally  returned  only  in  time  enough 
to  dress  for  dinner.  A-  soon,  indeed,  as  the  York  True 
(the  leading  county  paper)  had  announced  the  arri- 
val at  Yatton  oi  "Charles  Aubrey,  Esq*,  M.  P.,  and  his 
family,  for  the  Christmas  recess,"  the  efforts  of  Mrs.  and 
Miss  Aubrey  were  most  powerfully  seconded  by  a  constant 
success i  >n  o(  visitors  ■ —  by 

"Troops  of  friends," 

as  the  l.Hlu<e-keeper  conld  have  testified;  for  he  and  his 
buxom  wife  were  continually  opening  and  shutting  the 
great  gates.  On  the  Monday  after  Christmas-day,  (i.  e.  the 
day  but  <»ne  following.)  came  cantering  up  to  the  Hall  Lord 
De  la  Zouch  and  Mr.  Delamere,  of  course  staying  to  lunch- 
eon and  bearing  a  most  pressing  invitation  from  Lady  De 
la  Zouch,  zealously  backed  by  themselves,  for  the  Aubreys 
to  join  a  large  party  at  Fotheringham  Castle  on  New-Year's 
Eve.  This  was  accepted  —  a  day  and  a  night  were  thus 
gone  at  a  swoop.  The  same  thing  happened  with  the  Old- 
fields,  their  nearest  neighbors  ;  with  Sir  Percival  Pickering 
at  Luddington  Court,  where  was  a  superb  new  picture-gal- 
lery to  be  critically  inspected  by  Mr.  Aubrey  —  the  Earl 
of  Oldacre,  a  college  friend  of  Mr.  Aubrey's  —  the  vener- 
able Lady  Stratton,  the  earliest  friend  and  schoolfellow  of 
old  Mrs.  Aubrey,  and  so  forth.  Then  Kate  had  several  vis- 
pay  on  her  own  account;  and  being  fond  of  horse- 
baek,  but  not  of  riding  about  the  country  with  only  a 
groom  in  attendance,  her  brother  must  accompany  her  on 
The  first  week  of  their  stay  in  the  coun- 
try w  •  1  to  visiting  their  neighbors  and  friends  in 
the  way  I  have  stitted  ;  the  next  was  to  be  spent  in  receiv- 
ing them  at  Yatton,  during  which  time  the  old  Hall  was 
to  ring  with  merry  hospitality. 


316  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

Then  there  was  a  little  world  of  other  matters  to  occupy 
Mr.  Aubrey's  attention,  and  which  naturally  crowded  upon 
him,  living  so  little  as  he  had  latterly  lived  at  Yatton.  He 
often  had  a  kind  of  levee  of  his  humbler  neighbors,  ten- 
ants, and  constituents;  and  on  these  occasions  his  real 
goodness  of  nature,  his  simplicity,  his  patience,  his  for- 
bearance, his  sweetness  of  temper,  his  benevolence,  shone 
conspicuous.  With  all  these  more  endearing  qualities, 
there  was  yet  a  placid  dignity  about  him  which  would 
have  chilled  undue  familiarity,  and  repelled  presumption 
—  had  they  ventured  to  manifest  themselves.  He  had 
here  no  motive  or  occasion  for  ostentation,  or,  as  it  is 
called,  popularity-hunting.  In  a  sense  it  might  be  said  of 
him,  that  he  was  "monarch  of  all  he  surveyed."  It  is 
true,  he  was  member  for  the  borough  —  an  honor,  how- 
ever, for  which  he  was  indebted  to  the  natural  influence  of 
his  commanding  position  —  one  which  left  him  his  own 
master,  not  converting  him  into  a  paltry  delegate,  hand- 
cuffed by  pledges  on  public  questions,  and  laden  with  in- 
junctions concerning  petty  local  interests  only  —  liable, 
moreover,  to  be  called  to  an  account  at  any  moment  by 
ignorant  and  insolent  demagogues  —  but  a  member  of 
Parliament  training  to  become  a  statesman,  possessed  of 
a  free-will,  and  therefore  capable  of  independent  and  en- 
lightened deliberations ;  placed  by  his  fortune  above  the 
reach  of  temptation  —  but  I  shall  not  go  any  farther,  for 
the  portraiture  of  a  member  of  Parliament  of  those  days 
suggests  such  a  humiliating  and  bitter  contrast,  that  I 
shall  not  ruffle  either  my  own  or  my  reader's  temper  by 
sketching  one  of  modern  days.  On  the  occasions  I  have 
been  alluding  to,  Mr.  Aubrey  was  not  only  condescending 
and  generous,  but  practically  acute  and  discriminating ; 
qualities  of  his,  these  latter,  so  well  known,  however,  as 
to  leave  him  at  length  scarce  an}7-  opportunities  of  exercis- 
ing them.     His  quiet  but  decisive  interference  put  an  end 


TKX  THOUSAND  A-YKAK.  317 

to  many  local  unpleasantnesses  and  annoyances,  and  caused 
his  increasing  absence  from  Yatton  to  be  very  deeply  re- 
gretted. Was  a  lad  or  a  wench  taking  to  idle  and  dissolute 
A  kind,  or,  as  the  occasion  required,  a  stern 
-'nlation  of  his  —  for  he  was  a  justice  of  the  peace 
moreover — brought  them  to  their  senses.  He  had  a  very 
happy  knack  of  reasoning  and  laughing  quarrelsome  neigh- 
nto  reconciliation  and  good-humor.  He  had  a  keen 
eye  after  the  practical  details  of  agriculture  ;  was  equally 
quick  at  detecting  an  inconvenience,  and  appreciating  — 
sometimes  even  BUggesting  —  a  remedy  ;  and  had,  on  sev- 
eral occasions,  brought  such  knowledge  to  hear  very  effec- 
tively upon  discussions  in  Parliament.  His  constituents, 
few  in  number  undoubtedly,  and  humble,  were  quite  satis- 
fied with,  and  proud  of,  their  member  ;  and  his  unexpected 
appearance  diffused  among  them  real  and  general  satis- 
faction. As  a  landlord,  he  was  beloved  by  his  numerous 
tenantry:  and  well  he  might  —  for  never  was  there  so 
and  liberal  a  landlord :  he  might  at  anytime  have 
increased  his  rental  by  £1,500  or  £2,000  a-year,  as  his 
steward  frequently  intimated  to  him  —  but  in  vain.  "Ten 
thousand  a-year,"  would  say  Mr.  Aubrey,  "  is  far  more 
than  my  necessities  require  —  it  affords  me  and  my  family 
every  luxury  that  I  can  conceive  of;  and  its  magnitude 
reminds  me  constantly  that  hereafter  I  shall  be  called 
upon  to  give  a  very  strict  and  solemn  account  of  my  stew- 
ardship." I  would  my  space  could  admit  of  my  complet- 
-  it  ought  to  be  completed,  this  portraiture  of  a  true 
Christian  gentleman  ! 

As  he  rode  up  to  the  Hare  and  Hounds  Inn,  at  Grilston, 
one  morning,  to  transact  some  little  business,  and  also  to 
look  in  on  the  Farmers'  Club,  which  was  then  holding  one 
of  its  fortnightly  meetings,  (every  one  touching  his  hat 
and  bowing  to  him  on  each  side  of  the  long  street,  as  he 
slowly  passed  up  it,)  he  perceived  that  his  horse  limped 


318  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

on  one  foot.  On  dismounting,  therefore,  he  stopped  to  see 
what  was  the  matter,  while  his  groom  took  up  the  foot  to 
examine  it. 

"  Dey-vilish  fine  horse ! "  exclaimed  the  voice  of  one 
standing  close  beside  him,  and  in  a  tone  of  most  disagree- 
able confidence.  The  exclamation  was  addressed  to  Mr. 
Aubrey ;  who,  on  turning  to  the  speaker,  beheld  a  young 
man —  ('t  was,  in  fact,  Titmouse)  —  dressed  in  a  style  of 
the  most  extravagant  absurdity.  One  hand  was  stuck  into 
the  hinder  pocket  of  a  stylish  top-coat,  (the  everlasting  tip 
of  a  white  pocket-handkerchief  glistening  at  the  mouth  of 
his  breast-pocket ;)  the  other  held  a  cigar  to  his  mouth, 
from  which,  as  he  addressed  Mr.  Aubrey  with  an  air  of 
signal  assurance,  he  slowly  expelled  the  smoke  which  he 
had  inhaled.  Mr.  Aubrey  turned  towards  him  w7ith  a 
cold  and  surprised  air,  without  replying;  at  the  same 
time  wondering  where  he  had  seen  the  ridiculous  object 
before. 

"  The  horses  in  these  parts  ar'n't  to  be  compared  with 
them  at  London  —  eh,  sir]"  quoth  Titmouse,  approach- 
ing closer  to  Mr.  Aubrey  and  his  groom,  to  see  what  the 
latter  was  doing — who,  on  hearing  Titmouse's  last  sally, 
gave  him  a  very  significant  look. 

"  I  'm  afraid  the  people  here  won't  relish  your  remarks, 
sir!"  replied  Mr.  Aubrey,  calmly  —  hardly  able  to  for- 
bear a  smile ;  at  the  same  time,  with  an  astonished  air, 
scanning  the  figure  of  his  companion  from  head  to 
foot. 

"  Who  cares  1  "  inquired  Titmouse,  with  a  very  erter- 
getic  oath.  At  this  moment  up  came  a  farmer,  who,  ob- 
serving Mr.  Aubrey,  made  him  a  very  low  bow.  Mr. 
Aubrey's  attention  being  at  the  moment  occupied  with 
Titmouse,  he  did  not  observe  the  salutation ;  not  so  with 
Titmouse,  who,  conceiving  it  to  have  been  directed  to  him- 
self, acknowledged  it  by  taking  off  his  hat  with  great  grace ! 


TEN   THOUSAND    A-YEAR.  319 

Mr.  Aubrey  presently  entered  the  bouse,  having  ordered 
"in  to  bring  back  the  horse  in  an  hour's  time. 

"  Tray,"  said   lie,  mildly,  to  the  landlady,  "  who  is  that 
d  Bmoking  the  cigar  outsid 

••  Why,  sir,"  she  replied,  "  he 's  a  .Mr.  Brawn ;  and  has  an- 
other with  him  here  —  who  's  going  up  to  London  by  this 

aftern        'e        ich — this  one  stays  behind  a  day  or  two 
They're  queer  people,  sir.     Such  dandies  !     Do 
nothing   but    smoke,    and   drink   brandy   and    water,    sir; 
only  that  t'other  writes  a  good  deal.*' 

••  Well,  I  wish  you  would  remind  him,"  said  Mr.  Au- 
brey, smiling,  "  that,  if  he  thinks  fit  to  speak  to  me  again, 
or  in  my  presence,  I  am  a  magistrate,  and  have  the  power 
of  fining  him  five  shillings  for  every  oath  he  utters." 

'•What!  sir/'  quoth  she,  reverently — "has  he  been 
speaking  to  you  ?  Well,  I  never  !  !  He's  the  most  for- 
ward little  upstart  I  ever  see'd !  "  said  she,  dropping  her 
voice  ;  "and  the  sooner  he  takes  himself  oft' from  here  the 
better  ;  for  he  's  always  winking  at  the  maids  and  talking 
impudence  to  them.  I  'se  box  his  ears,  I  warrant  him,  one 
of  these  times  !  "     Mr.  Aubrey  smiled,  and  went  up-stairs. 

"There  don't  seem  to  be  much  wrong,"  quoth  Titmouse 
to  the  groom,  with  a  condescending  air,  as  soon  as  Mr. 
Aubrey  had  entered  the  house. 

"  Much  you  know  about  it,  I  don't  guess  !  "  quoth  Sam, 
with  a  contemptuous  smile. 

"Who's  your  master,  fellow?"  inquired  Titmouse, 
knocking  off  the  ashes  from  the  tip  of  his  cigar. 

••  A  gentleman.     What 's  yours  ?" 

•our  impudence,  you  vagabond  " The  words 

were  hardly  out  of  his  mouth  before  Sam,  with  a  slight 
tap  of  his  band,  had  knocked  Titmouse's  glossy  hat  off  his 
head,  and  Titmouse's  purple-hned  hair  stood  exposed  to 
view,  provoking  the  jeers  and  laughter  of  one  or  two  by- 
stand  •  nonse  appeared  about  to  strike  the  groom; 


320  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

who,  hastily  giving  the  bridles  of  his  horses  into  the  hands 
of  an  hostler,  threw  himself  into  boxing  attitude;  and  be- 
ing a  clean,  tight-built,  stout  young  fellow,  looked  a  very 
formidable  object,  as  he  came  squaring  nearer  and  nearer 
to  the  dismayed  Titmouse  ;  and  on  behalf  of  the  outraged 
honor  of  all  the  horses  of  Yorkshire,  was  just  going  to  let 
fly  his  one-two,  when  a  sharp  tapping  at  the  bow-window 
overhead  startled  him  for  a  moment,  interrupting  his  war- 
like demonstrations  ;  and,  on  casting  up  his  eyes,  he  beheld 
the  threatening  figure  of  his  master,  who  was  shaking  his 
whip  at  him.  He  dropped  his  guard,  touched  his  hat  very 
humbly,  and  resumed  his  horses'  bridles ;  muttering,  how- 
ever, to  Titmouse,  "  If  thou  'rt  a  man,  come  down  into 
t'  yard,  and  I  '11  mak  thee  think  a  horse  kicked  thee,  a 
liar  as  thou  art !  " 

"  Who  's  that  gentleman  gone  up-stairs  ? "  inquired  Tit- 
mouse of  the  landlady,  after  he  had  sneaked  into  the  inn. 

"Squire  Aubrey  of  Yatton,"  she  replied  tartly.  Tit- 
mouse's face,  previously  very  pale,  flushed  all  over.  "  Ay, 
ay,"  she  continued  sharply  —  "  thou  must  be  chattering 
to  the  grand  folks,  and  thou  'st  nearly  put  thy  foot 
into 't  at  last,  I  can  tell  thee ;  for  that 's  a  magistrate, 
and  thou  'st  been  a-swearing  afore  him."  Titmouse  smiled 
rather  faintly ;  and  entering  the  parlor,  affected  to  be  en- 
gaged with  a  county  newspaper ;  and  he  remained  very 
quiet  for  upwards  of  an  hour,  not  venturing  out  of  the 
room  till  he  had  seen  off  Mr.  Aubrey  and  his  formidable 
Sam. 

It  was  the  hunting  season;  but  Mr.  Aubrey,  though  he 
had  as  fine  horses  as  were  to  be  found  in  the  county,  and 
which  were  always  at  the  service  of  his  friends,  partly 
from  want  of  inclination,  and  partly  from  the  delicacy  of 
his  constitution,  never  shared  in  the  sports  of  the  field. 
Now  and  then,  however,  he  rode  to  cover,  to  see  the 
hounds  throw  off,  and  exchange  greetings  with   a  great 


TEX  THOUSAND  A-YEAR.  321 

number  of  his  friends  and  neighbors,  on  such  occasions 
collected  together.  This  he  did,  the  morning  after  that 
on  which  he  had  visited  GHlston,  accompanied,  at  their 
earnest  entreaty,  by  Mrs.  Aubrey  and  Kate.  I  am  not 
painting  angels,  hut  describing  frail  human  nature;  and 
truth  forces  me  to  say,  that  Kate  had  a  kind  of  a  notion 
that  on  such  occasions  she  did  not  appear  to  disadvantage. 

I  protest  1  love  her  not  the  less  for  it  !  Is  there  a  beau- 
tiful woman  under  the  sun  who  is  not  really  aware  of  her 
charms,  and  of  the  effect  they  produce  upon  our  sex? 
Pooh  !  1  never  will  believe  to  the  contrary.  In  Kate's 
composition  this  ingredient  was  but  an  imperceptible  alloy 
in  virgin  gold.  Now,  how  was  it  that  she  came  to  think 
of  this  hunting  appointment  ?  I  do  not  exactly  know  ; 
but  I  recollect  that  when  Lord  De  la  Zouch  last  called  at 
Yatton,  he  happened  to  mention  it  at  lunch,  and  to  say 
that  he  and  one  Geoffrey  Lovel  Delamere but  how- 
ever that  may  be,  behold,  on  a  bright  Thursday  morning, 
Aubrey  and  his  two  lovely  companions  made  their  wel- 
come appearance  at  the  field,  superbly  mounted,  and  most 
cordially  greeted  by  all  present.  Miss  Aubrey  attracted 
universal  admiration  ;  but  there  was  one  handsome  young- 
ster, his  well-formed  figure  showing  to  great  advantage  in 
his  new  pink  and  leathers,  who  made  a  point  of  challeng- 
ing her  special  notice,  and  in  doing  so,  attracting  that  of 
all  his  envious  fellow-sportsmen  ;  and  that  was  Delamere. 
He  seemed,  indeed,  infinitely  more  taken  up  with  the 
little  party  from  Yatton  than  with  the  serious  business  of 
the  day.  His  horse,  however,  had  an  eye  to  business; 
and  with  erect  ears,  catching  the  first  welcome  signal 
sooner  than  the  gallant  person  who  sat  upon  it,  sprang 
off  like  lightning  and  would  have  left  its  abstracted  rider 
behind,  had  he  not  been  a  iirst-rate  "seat."  In  fact,  Kate 
If  was  not  sufficiently  on  her  guard;  and  her  eager 
filly  auddenly  put  in  requisition  all  her  rider's  little 
,v<u..  i.  —  21 


322  TEN   THOUSAND   A- YEAR. 

strength  and  skill  to  rein  her  in  —  which  having  done, 
Kate's  eye  looked  rather  anxiously  after  her  late  compan- 
ion, who,  however,  had  already  cleared  the  first  hedge,  and 
was  fast  making  up  to  the  scattering  scarlet  crowd.  Oh, 
the  bright  exhilarating  scene  ! 

"  Heigh  ho  —  Agnes  !  "  said  Kate,  with  a  slight  sigh,  as 
soon  as  Delamere  had  disappeared  —  "I  was  very  nearly 
off." 

"  So  was  somebody  else,  Kate  !  "  said  Mrs.  Aubrey,  with 
a  sly  smile. 

"  This  is  a  very  cool  contrivance  of  yours,  Kate,  — 
bringing  us  here  this  morning,"  said  her  brother,  rather 
gravely. 

"  What  do  you  mean,  Charles  1  "  she  inquired,  slightly 
reddening.  He  good-naturedly  tapped  her  shoulder  with 
his  whip,  laughed,  urged  his  horse  into  a  canter,  and  they 
were  all  soon  on  their  way  to  General  Grim's,  an  old  friend 
of  the  late  Mr.  Aubrey's. 

The  party  assembled  on  New- Year's  Eve  at  Fothering- 
ham  Castle,  the  magnificent  residence  of  Lord  De  la  Zouch, 
was  numerous  and  brilliant.  The  Aubreys  arrived  about 
five  o'clock  ;  and  on  emerging  from  their  respective  apart- 
ments into  the  drawing-room,  soon  after  the  welcome 
sound  of  the  dinner  bell  —  Mr.  Aubrey  leading  in  his 
lovely  wife,  followed  shortly  afterwards  by  his  beautiful 
sister  —  they  attracted  general  attention.  He  himself 
looked  handsome,  for  the  brisk  country  air  had  brought 
out  a  glow  upon  his  too  frequently  pallid  countenance  — 
pallid  with  the  unwholesome  atmosphere,  the  late  hours, 
the  wasting  excitement  of  the  House  of  Commons ;  and 
his  smile  was  cheerful,  his  eye  bright  and  penetrating. 
Nothing  makes  such  quick  triumphant  way  in  English 
society,  as  the  promise  of  speedy  political  distinction.  It 
will  supply  to  its  happy  possessor  the  want  of  family  and 
fortune  —  it  rapidly   melts  away  all   distinctions.     The 


TEX    THOUSAND    A-YEAR.  323 

obscure  but  eloquent  commoner  finds  himself  suddenly 
standing  in  the  rarefied  atmosphere  of  privilege  and  exclu- 
Biveness  —  the  familiar  equal, often  the  oonscious  superior, 
of  the  haughtiest  peer  of  the  realm.     A  single  successful 

speech  in  the  House  of  Commons,  opens  before  its  utterer 
the  Bhining  doors  of. fashion  and  greatness  as  if  by  magic 

IS  it  were    PoWBB   stepping  into  its  palace,  welcomed 
by   gay  crowds  of  eager,   obsequious  expectants.     Who 

would  net  press  forward  to  grasp  in  anxious  welcome  the 
hand   which,  in  a  low   short  years,  may  dispense  the  glit> 

g  baubles  sighed  after  by  the  great,  and  the  mure 
substantial  patronage  <>f  office  —  which  may  point  public 
opinion  in  any  direction]  But,  to  go  no  farther,  what  if 
to  all  this  be  added  a  previous  position  in  societ}',  such  as 
that  occupied  by  Mr.  Aubrey  !  There  were  several  very 
fine  women,  married  and  single,  in  that  splendid  drawing- 
room  :  but  there  wire  two  girls,  in  very  different  styles  of 
beauty,  who  were  soon  allowed  by  all  present  to  carry  off 
the  palm  between  them  —  1  mean  Miss  Aubrey  and  Lady 
Caroline  <  layersham,  the  only  daughter  of  the  Marchioness 
of  Redborough,  both  of  whom  were  on  a  visit  at  the  castle 
of  some  duration.  Lady  Caroline  and  Miss  Aubrey  were  of 
about  the  same  age,  and  dressed  almost  exactly  alike, 
viz.  in  white  satin  ;  only  Lady  Caroline  wore  a  brilliant 
diamond  necklace,  whereas  Kate  had  chosen  to  wear  not 

_!e  ornament. 
Lady  Caroline  was  a  trifle  the  taller,  and  had  a  very 
stately  carriage.     Her  hair  was  black  as  jet  —  her  features 
were   refined   and   delicate  ;   but  they  wore  a  very  cold, 
haughty  expression.     After  a  glance   at  her  half-closed 
tnd  the  swan-like  curve  of  her  snowy  neck,  you  un- 
withdrew  from  her,  as  from  an   inaccessible 
beauty.     'Id)'.-  more  you  looked  at  her,  the  more  she  sat- 
isfied your  critical  scrutiny  ;  but  your  feelings  went  not 
out  towards  her — they  were,  in  a  manner,  chilled   and 


324  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

repulsed.  Look,  now,  at  our  own  Kate  Aubrey  —  nay, 
never  fear  to  place  her  beside  yon  supercilious  divinity  — 
look  at  her,  and  your  heart  acknowledges  her  loveliness  ; 
your  soul  thrills  at  sight  of  her  bewitching  blue  eyes  — 
eyes  now  sparkling  with  excitement,  then  languishing  with 
softness,  in  accordance  with  the  varying  emotions  of  a 
sensitive  nature  —  a  most  susceptible  heart.  How  her 
sunny  curls  harmonize  with  the  delicacy  and  richness  of 
her  complexion  !  Her  figure,  observe,  is,  of  the  two,  a 
trifle  fuller  than  her  rival's  —  stay,  don't  let  your  admir- 
ing eyes  settle  so  intently  upon  her  budding  form,  or  you 
will  confuse  Kate  —  turn  away,  or  she  will  shrink  from 
you  like  the  sensitive  plant !  Lady  Caroline  seems  the 
exquisite  but  frigid  production  of  a  skilful  statuary,  who 
had  caught  a  divinity  in  the  very  act  of  disdainfully  set- 
ting her  foot  for  the  first  time  upon  this  poor  earth  of 
ours  ;  but  Kate  is  a  living  and  breathing  beauty  —  as  it 
were,  fresh  from  the  hand  of  God  himself ! 

Kate  was  very  affectionately  greeted  by  Lady  De  la 
Zouch,  a  lofty  and  dignified  woman  of  about  fifty ;  so 
also  by  Lord  De  la  Zouch  ;  but  when  young  Delamere 
welcomed  her  with  a  palpable  embarrassment  of  man- 
ner, a  more  brilliant  color  stole  into  her  cheek,  and  a 
keen  observer  might  have  noticed  a  little,  rapid,  undu- 
lating motion  in  her  bosom,  which  told  of  some  inward 
emotion.  And  a  keen  observer  Kate  at  that  moment  had 
in  her  beautiful  rival ;  from  whose  cheek,  as  that  of  Kate 
deepened  in  its  roseate  bloom,  faded  away  the  color  en- 
tirely, leaving  it  the  hue  of  the  lily.  Her  drooping  eye- 
lids could  scarcely  conceal  the  glances  of  alarm  and  anger 
which  she  darted  at  her  plainly  successful  rival  in  the  af- 
fections of  the  future  Lord  De  la  Zouch.  Kate  was  quickly 
aware  of  this  state  of  matters  ;  and  it  required  no  little 
self-control  to  appear  wraaware  of  it.  Delamere  took  her 
down  to  dinner,  and  seated  himself  beside  her,  and  paid 


TEH    THOUSAND   A -YE  All.  325 

her  such  pointed  attentions  as  at  length  realty  distressed 

her;  and  Bhe  was  quite  relieved  when  the  time  came  for 
the  ladies  to  withdraw.  That  she  had  oot  a  secret  yearn- 
ing towards  Delamere,  the  frequent  companion  of  her  early 
days,  I  cannot  assert,  because  I  know  it  would  he  con- 
trary to  the  tact.  Circumstances  had  kept  him  on  the 
Continent  for  more  than  a  year  between  the  period  of  his 
quitting  Eton  and  going  to  Oxford,  where  another  twelve- 
month had  slipped  away  without  his  visiting  Yorkshire  : 
thus  two  years  had  elapsed — and  behold  Kate  had  be- 
come a  woman  and  he  a  man!  They  had  mutual  pre- 
vious towards  each  other,  and  'twas  mere  accident 
which  of  them  first  manifested  symptoms  of  fondness  for 
the  other  —  the  same  result  must  have  followed,  namely, 
(to  use  a  great  word,)  reciprocation.  Lord  and  Lady  De  la 
Zouch  idolized  their  son,  and  were  old  and  very  firm  friends 
of  the  Aubrey  family  ;  and,  if  Delamere  really  formed  an 
attachment  to  one  of  Miss  Aubrey's  beauty,  accomplish- 
ments, talent,  amiability,  and  ancient  family  — why  should 
he  not  be  gratified  I  Kate,  whether  she  would  or  not,  was 
set  down  to  the  piano,  Lady  Caroline  accompanying  her 
on  the  harp  —  on  which  she  usually  performed  with  min- 
gled skill  and  grace  ;  but  on  the  present  occasion,  both 
the  fair  performers  found  fault  with  their  instruments  — 
then  with  themselves  —  and  presently  gave  up  the  attempt 
in  despair.  But  when,  at  a  later  period  of  the  evening, 
Kate's  spirits  had  been  a  little  exhilarated  with  dancing, 
and  Bhe  sat  down,  at  Lord  De  la  Zouch's  request,  and 
gave  that  exquisite  song  from  tin)  Tempest  —  "Where  the 
bee  sucks" — all  the  witchery  of  her  voice  and  manner 
had  returned  ;  and  as  for  Delamere,  he  would  have  given 
the  world  to  marry  her  that  minute,  and  so  forever  ex- 
di  the  hopes  of — us  he  imagined  —  two  or  three 
mpetitors  for  the  beautiful  prize  then  present. 
That   Kate   WBB   good   as   beautiful,  the  following  little 


326  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

incident,  which  happened  to  her  on  the  ensuing  evening, 
will  show.  There  was  a  girl  in  the  village  at  Yatton, 
about  sixteen  or  seventeen  years  old,  called  Phoebe  Wil- 
liams ;  a  very  pretty  girl,  and  who  had  spent  about  two 
years  at  the  Hall  as  a  laundry-maid,  but  had  been  obliged, 
some  few  months  before  the  time  I  am  speaking  of,  to 
return  to  her  parents  in  the  village,  ill  of  a  decline.  She 
had  been  a  sweet-tempered  girl  in  her  situation,  and  all 
her  fellow-servants  felt  great  interest  in  her,  as  also  did 
Miss  Aubrey.  Mrs.  Aubrey  sent  her  daily  jellies,  sago, 
and  other  such  matters,  suitable  for  the  poor  girl's  con- 
dition ;  and  about  a  quarter  of  an  hour  after  her  return 
from  Fotheringham,  Miss  Aubrey,  finding  one  of  the  fe- 
male servants  about  to  set  off  with  some  of  the  above- 
mentioned  articles,  and  hearing  that  poor  Phoebe  was 
getting  rapidly  worse,  instead  of  retiring  to  her  room 
to  undress,  slipped  on  an  additional  shawl,  and  resolved 
to  accompany  the  servant  to  the  village.  She  said  not 
a  word  to  either  her  mother,  her  sister-in-law,  or  her 
brother ;  but  simply  left  word  with  her  maid  whither 
she  was  going,  and  that  she  should  quickly  return.  It 
was  snowing  smartly  when  Kate  set  off;  but  she  cared 
not,  hurried  on  by  the  impulse  of  kindness,  which  led  her 
to  pay  perhaps  a  last  visit  to  the  humble  sufferer.  She 
walked  alongside  of  the  elderly  female  servant,  asking  her 
a  number  of  questions  about  Phoebe,  and  her  sorrowing 
father  and  mother.  It  was  nearly  dark  as  they  quitted 
the  Park  gates,  and  snowing,  if  anything,  faster  than  when 
they  had  left  the  Hall.  Kate,  wrapping  her  shawl  still 
closer  round  her  slender  figure,  her  face  being  pretty  well 
protected  by  her  veil,  hurried  on,  and  they  soon  reached 
Williams'  cottage.  Its  humble  tenants  were,  as  may  be 
imagined,  not  a  little  surprised  at  her  appearance  at  such 
an  hour  and  in  such  inclement  weather,  and  so  appar- 
ently unattended.     Poor  Phoebe,  worn  to  a  shadow,  was 


TEN    THOUSAND    A-YKA1I.  327 

sitting  opposite  the  tire,  in  a  little  wooden  armchair, 
and  propped  up  by  a  pillow.  She  trembled,  and  her 
Kpa  moved  <>n  seeing  Miss  Aubrey,  who,  sitting  down 
on  a  sr.»ol  beside  her,  after  laving  aside  her  snow- 
whitened  shawl  and  bonnet,  spoke  to  her  in  the  most 
gentle  and  southing  strain  imaginable.  What  a  contrast 
in  their  two  figures!  T would  have  been  no  violent 
stretch  of  imagination  to  say,  that  Catherine  Aubrey  at 
that  moment  looked  like  a  ministering  angel  sent  to 
comfort  the  wretched  sufferer  in  her  extremity.  Phoebe's 
father  and  mother  stood  on  each  side  of  the  little  fireplace, 
gazing  with  tearful  eyes  upon  their  only  child,  soon  about 
to  depart  from  them  forever.  The  poor  girl  was  indeed  a 
touohing  object.  She  had  been  xcry  pretty,  but  now  her 
face  was  white  and  wofully  emaciated  —  the  dread  impress 
of  consumption  was  upon  it.  Her  wasted  fingers  were 
clasped  together  on  her  lap,  holding  between  them  a  lit- 
tle handkerchief,  with  which,  evidently  with  great  effort, 
she  occasionally  wiped  the  dampness  from  her  face. 

"You  're  very  good,  ma'am,"  she  whispered,  "to  come 
to  see  me,  and  so  late.     They  say  it 's  a  sad  cold  night." 

••  I  heard,  Phoebe,  that  you  were  not  so  well,  and  I 
thought  I  would  just  step  along  with  Margaret,  who 
has  brought  you  some  more  jelly.  Did  you  like  the 
last  :" 

••  Y  -8,  ma'am,"  she  replied  hesitatingly;  "but  it's 
very  hard  for  me  to  swallow  anything  now,  my  throat 
feels  bo  B  ►re."  Here  her  mother  shook  her  head  and 
■■  :  for  the  doctor  had  only  that  morning 
explained  to  her  the  nature  of  the  distressing  symptom 
to  which  her  daughter  was  alluding — as  evidencing  the 
very  last  stage  of  her  fatal   disorder. 

"  I'm  very  sorry  to  hear  you  say  so,  Phoebe,"  replied 
Miss  Aubrey.  "  Do  you  think  there's  anything  else  that 
Mrs.  Jackson  could  make  for  von?" 


328  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

"  No,  ma'am,  thank  you ;  I  feel  it 's  no  nse  trying  to 
swallow  anything  more,"  said  poor  Phoebe,  faintly. 

"  While  there 's  life,"  whispered  Miss  Aubrey,  in  a 
subdued,  hesitating  tone,  "  there 's  hope  —  they  say." 
Phoebe  shook  her  head  mournfully. 

"  Don't  stop  long,  dear  lady  —  it 's  getting  very  late 
for  you  to  be  out  alone.     Father  will  go " 

"  Never  mind  me,  Phoebe  —  I  can  take  care  of  myself. 
I  hope"  you  mind  what  good  Dr  Tatham  says  to  you  1 
You  know  this  sickness  is  from  God,  Phoebe.  He  knows 
what  is  best  for  his  creatures." 

"  Thank  God,  ma'am,  I  think  I  feel  resigned.  I  know 
it  is  God's  will;  but  I'm  very  sorry  for  poor  father  and 
mother  —  they  '11  be  so  lone  like  when  they  don't  see 
Phoebe  about."  Her  father  gazed  intently  at  her,  and 
the  tears  ran  trickling  down  his  cheeks ;  her  mother 
put  her  apron  before  her  face,  and  shook  her  head  in 
silent  anguish.  Miss  Aubrey  did  not  speak  for  a  few 
moments.  "  I  see  you  have  been  reading  the  prayer- 
book  mamma  gave  you  when  you  were  at  the  Hall," 
said  she  at  length,  observing  the  little  volume  lying 
open  on  Phoebe's  lap. 

"Yes,  ma'am  —  I  was  trying  ;  but  somehow  lately,  I 
can't  read,  for  there 's  a  kind  of  mist  comes  over  my  eyes, 
and  I  can't  see." 

"That's  weakness,  Phoebe,"  said  Miss  Aubrey,  quickly 
but  tremulously. 

"  May  I  make  bold,  ma'am,"  commenced  Phoebe,  lan- 
guidly, after  a  hesitating  pause,  "  to  ask  you  to  read  the 
little  psalm  I  was  trying  to  read  a  while  ago  1  I  should 
so  like  to  hear  you." 

"  I'll  try,  Phoebe,"  said  Miss  Aubrey,  taking  the  book, 
which  was  open  at  the  sixth  psalm.  'T  was  a  severe 
trial,  for  her  feelings  were  not  a  little  excited  already.  But 
how  could  she  refuse  the  dying  girl  1     So  Miss  Aubrey 


TKV  THOUSAND  A-YF.AK.  329 

began  a  little  indistinctly,  in  a  very  low  tone,  and  with 
frequent  pauses  :  for  the  tears  every  now  and  then  quite 
obscured  her  sight.     She  managed,  however,  to  get  as  far 

as  the  sixth  verse,  which  was  thus  :  — 

uIcm  f  my  groaning :  every  night  wash  I  my  bed,  and 

water  nvj  couch  with  tens:  My  beauty  isgom  for  very  trouble." 

Here    Kate's  voice  suddenly  stopped.      She   buried  her 
face  for  a  moment  or  two  in  her  handkerchief,  and  said 
hastily.  '•  I    can't    real   any   more,   Phcebe !  "     Everyone 
in  the  little  room  was  in  tears  except  poor  Phoebe,  who 
1    past    that. 
'•It's  time    for   me   to   go,  now,  Phcebe.     We'll   send 
early  in   the  morning   to   know  how  you  are," 
&iiss  Aubrey,  rising  and   putting  on  her  bonnet  and 
shawl.      Sh       intrived   to  beckon  Phoebe's  mother  to  the 
back  of  the  room,  and  silently  slipped  a  couple  of  guineas 
into  her  hands  ;  for  she  knew  the  mournful  occasion  there 
would  soon  be  for  such  assistance  !     She  then  left,  per- 
emptorily declining  the  attendance  of  Phoebe's  father  — 
saying  that  it  must  be  dark  when  she  could  not  find  the 
way  to  the  Hall,  which  was  almost  in  a  straight  line  from 
the  cottage,  and  little  more  than  a  quarter  of  a  mile  off. 
It  was  very  much  darker,  and  it  still  snowed,  though  not 
so   thickly  as    when   she   had   come.     She   and   Margaret 
walked  side  by   side,  at  a  quick  pace,   talking  together 
about    poor    Phoebe.     Just    as    she    was  approaching   the 
aity  of  the  village,  nearest  the  park —  , 

"  Ah  !  my  lovely  gals  !  "  exclaimed  a  voice,  in  a  low  but 
jive  tone  —  "alone  I    Mow  uncommon  "  —  Miss 
Aubrey  for  u  moment  seemed  thunderstruck  at  so  sudden 
ami  unprecedente  1  as  occurrence  :    then  she  hurried  on 
with  ting    heart,  whispering  to   Margaret  to  keep 

il  not  to  lie  alarmed.     The  speaker,  how- 
kept  pace  with  them. 


330  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

"  Lovely  gals  !  —  wish  I  'd  an  umbrella,  my  angels  !  — ■ 
Take  my  arm  ?     Ah  !     Pretty  gals  !  " 

"  Who  are  you,  sir  ? "  at  length  exclaimed  Kate, 
spiritedly,  suddenly  stopping,  and  turning  to  the 
rude  speaker. 

[Who  else  should  it  be  but  Tittlebat  Titmouse!] 
"Who  am  I?  Ah,  ha!  Lovely  gals  !  one  that  loves  the 
pretty  gals  ! " 

"Do  you  know,  fellow,  who  I  am?"  inquired  Miss 
Aubrey,  indignantly,  flinging  aside  her  veil,  and  disclosing 
her  beautiful  face,  white  as  death,  but  indistinctly  visible 
in  the  darkness,  to  her  insolent  assailant. 

"  No,  'pon  my  soul,  no  ;  but  lovely  gal  !  lovely  gal !  — 
'pon  my  life,  spirited  gal  !  —  do  you  no  harm  !  Take  my 
arm?" 

"  WTretch  !  ruffian  !  How  dare  you  insult  a  lady  in 
this  manner?  Do  you  know  who  I  am?  My  name,  sir, 
is  Aubrey  —  I  am  Miss  Aubrey  of  the  Hall !  Do  not 
think  " 

Titmouse  felt  as  if  he  were  on  the  point  of  dropping 
down  dead  at  that  moment,  with  amazement  and  terror ; 
and  when  Miss  Aubrey's  servant  screamed  out  at  the  top 
of  her  voice,  "  Help  !  —  help,  there  !  "  Titmouse,  without 
uttering  a  syllable  more,  took  to  his  heels,  just  as  the 
door  of  a  cottage,  at  only  a  few  yards'  distance,  opened, 
and  out  rushed  a  strapping  farmer,  shouting  —  "  Hey  ! 
what  be  t'  matter  ?  "  You  may  guess  his  amazement  on 
cyscovering  Miss  Aubrey,  and  his  fury  at  learning  the 
cause  of  her  alarm.  Out  of  doors  he  pelted,  without  his 
hat,  uttering  a  volley  of  fearful  imprecations,  and  calling 
on  the  unseen  miscreant  to  come  forward ;  for  whom  it 
was  lucky  that  he  had  time  to  escape  from  a  pair  of  fists 
that  in  a  minute  or  two  would  have  beaten  his  little  car- 
cass into  a  jelly !  Miss  Aubrey  was  so  overcome  by  the 
shock  she  had  suffered,  that  but  for  a  glass  of  water  she 


TKN    THOUSAND    A-VKAK.  331 

might  have  fainted.  As  soon  as  she  had  a  little  recov- 
ered from  her  agitation,  Bhe  Bet  off  home,  accompanied 
by  Margaret,  and  followed  very  closely  by  the  fanner, 
with  a  tremendous  knotted  Btick  under  his  arm —  (he 
wanted  to  have  taken  his  double-barrelled  gun)  —  and 
thus  she  Boon  reached  the  Hall,  not  a  little  tired  and 
agitated.  This  little  incident,  however,  she  kept  to  her- 
self, and  enjoined  her  two  attendants  to  do  the  same; 
for  she  knew  the  distress  it  would  have  occasioned  those 
i  she  loved.  As  it  was  she  was  somewhat  sharply 
rebuked  by  her  mother  and  brother,  who  had  just  sent  two 
servants  out  in  quest  of  her,  and  whom  it  was  singular 
that  she  should  have  missed.  This  is  not  the  place  to 
give  an  account  of  the  eccentric  movements  of  our  friend 
Titmouse;  still  there  can  be  no  harm  in  my  just  men- 
tioning that  the  sight  of  Miss  Aubrey  on  horseback  had 
half  maddened  the  little  fool ;  her  image  had  never  been 
effaced  from  his  memory  since  the  occasion  on  which,  as 
already  explained,  he  had  first  seen  her;  and  as  soon  as 
he  had  ascertained,  through  Snap's  inquiries,  who  she 
was,  he  became  more  frenzied  in  the  matter  than  before, 
because  he  thought  he  now  saw  a  probability  of  obtaining 
her.  "If,  like  children,"  says  Edmund  Burke,  "we  will 
cry  for  the  moon,  why,  like  children,  we  must  —  cry  on." 
Whether  this  was  not  something  like  the  position  of  Mr. 
Tittlebat  Titmouse,  in  his  passion  for  Catherine  Aubrey, 
the  reader  can  judge.  He  had  unbosomed  himself  in  the 
matter  to  his  confidential  adviser,  Mr.  Snap;  who,  having 
accomplished  his  errand,  had  the  day  before  returned  to 
town,  very  much  against  his  will,  leaving  Titmouse  be- 
hind, to  bring  about,  by  his  own  delicate  and  skilful 
ut.  an  union  between  himself,  as  the  future 
lord  of  Tatton,  and  the  beautiful  sister  of  its  present 
occupant 


332  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 


CHAPTEE  IX. 

Mr.  Aubrey  and  Kate,  some  day  or  two  after  the  strange 
occurrence  narrated  in  the  last  chapter,  were  sitting  to- 
gether playing  at  chess,  about  eight  o'clock  in  the  even- 
ing ;  Dr.  Tatham  and  Mrs.  Aubrey,  junior,  looking  on 
with  much  interest ;  old  Mrs.  Aubrey  being  engaged  in 
writing.  Mr.  Aubrey  was  sadly  an  overmatch  for  poor 
Kate  —  he  being  in  fact  a  first-rate  player ;  and  her  soft 
white  hand  had  been  hovering  over  the  three  or  four  chess- 
men she  had  left,  uncertain  which  of  them  to  move,  for 
nearly  two  minutes,  her  chin  resting  on  the  other  hand, 
and  her  face  wearing  a  very  puzzled  expression.  "  Come, 
Kate,"  said  every  now  and  then  her  brother,  with  that 
calm  victorious  smile  which  at  such  a  moment  would 
have  tried  any  but  so  sweet  a  temper  as  his  sister's.  "  If 
/  were  you,  Miss  Aubrey,"  was  perpetually  exclaiming 
Dr.  Tatham,  knowing  as  much  about  the  game  the  while 
as  the  little  Blenheim  spaniel  lying  asleep  at  Miss 
Aubrey's  feet.  "  Oh  dear  !  "  said  Kate,  at  length,  with  a 
sigh,   "  I  really  don't  see  how  to  escape " 

"  Who  can  that  be  1  "  exclaimed  Mrs.  Aubrey,  looking 
up  and  listening  to  the  sound  of  carriage  wheels. 

"  Never  mind,"  said  her  husband,  who  was  interested 
in  the  game  —  "come,  come,  Kate."  A  few  minutes 
afterwards  a  servant  made  his  appearance,  and  coming 
up  to  Mr.  Aubrey,  told  him  that  Mr.  Parkinson  and 
another  gentleman  had  called,  and  were  waiting  in  the 
library  to  speak  to  him  on  business. 

"What  can  they  want  at  this  hour'?"  exclaimed  Mr. 
Aubrey,  absently,  intently  watching  an  anticipated  move 


TEX    THOUSAND    A-YEAK.  333 

of  his  sister's,  which  would  have  decided  the  game  in  his 
favor.  At  length  she  made  her  long-meditated  descent  — 
but  in  quite  an  unexpected  quarter. 

"Checkmate!"  she  exclaimed  with  infinite  glee. 

M  Ah!  "cried  he,  rising  with  a  slightly  surprised  and 
chagrined  air,  "  1  'm  ruined  I  Now,  try  your  hand  on 
Dr.  Tatham,  while  I  go  and  speak  to  these  people.  I 
wonder  what  can  possibly  have  brought  them  here.  Oh, 
I  see — I  see;  'tis  probably  about  Miss  Evelyn's  mar- 
riage-settlement —  I  'm  to  be  one  of  her  trustees."  With 
this  he  left  the  room,  and  presently  entered  the  library, 
where  were  two  gentlemen,  one  of  whom,  a  stranger,  was 
in  the  act  of  pulling  off  his  great-coat.  It  was  Mr. 
Runnington  ;  a  tall,  thin,  elderly  man,  with  short  gray 
hair  —  of  gentlemanly  appearance  —  his  countenance 
bespeaking  the  calm,  acute,  clear-headed  man  of  business. 
The  other  was  Mr.  Parkinson;  a  thoroughly  respectable, 
substantial  looking,  hard-headed  family  solicitor  and 
country  attorney. 

"Mr.  Runnington,  my  London  agent,  sir,"  said  he  to 
Mr.  Aubrey,  as  the  latter  entered.      Mr.  Aubrey  bowed. 

"  Pray,  gentlemen,  be  seated,"  he  replied  with  his 
usual  urbanity  of  manner,  taking  a  chair  beside  them. 

"Why.  Mr.  Parkinson,  you  look  very  serious  —  both 
of  you.      What  is  the  matter]  "  he  inquired  surprisedly. 

"  Mr.  Runnington,  sir,  has  arrived,  most  unexpectedly 
to  me,"  replied  Mr.  Parkinson,  "  only  an  hour  or  two 
ago,  from  London,  on  business  of  the  last  importance 
to  y< 

"  To  me  .'  —  well,  what  is  it  1  Pray,  say  at  once  what 
it  is  —  I  am  all  attention,"  said  Mr.  Aubrey,  anxiously. 

"Do  you  happen,"  commenced  Mr.  Parkinson,  very 
:sly,  "  to  remember  sending  Waters  to  me  on  Mon- 
last,  with  a  paper  which  had  been  served 
by  some  one  on  old  Jolter  I  " 


334  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

"Certainly,"  replied  Mr  Aubrey,  after  a  moment's 
consideration. 

"  Mr.  Runnington's  errand  is  connected  with  that  docu- 
ment," said  Mr.  Parkinson,  and  paused. 

"  Indeed  !  "  exclaimed  Mr.  Aubrey,  apparently  a  little 
relieved.  "I  assure  you,  gentlemen,  you  very  greatly 
over-estimate  the  importance  I  attach  to  anything  that 
such  a  troublesome  person  as  Mr.  Tomkins  can  do,  if  I  am 
right  in  supposing  that  it  is  he  who  —  Well,  then,  what  is 
the  matter  ?  "  he  inquired  quickly,  observing  Mr.  Parkin- 
son shake  his  head,  and  interchange  a  grave  look  with  Mr. 
Runnington  ;  "  you  cannot  think,  Mr.  Parkinson,  how 
you  will  oblige  me  by  being  explicit." 

"  This  paper,"  said  Mr.  Runnington,  holding  up  that 
which  Mr.  Aubrey  at  once  identified  as  the  one  on  which 
he  had  cast  his  eye  upon  its  being  handed  to  him  by 
Waters,  "  is  a  Declaration  in  Ejectment,  with  which  Mr. 
Tomkins  has  nothing  whatever  to  do.  It  is  served  virtu- 
ally on  you,  and  you  are  the  real  defendant." 

"  So  I  apprehend  that  I  was  in  the  former  trumpery 
action  !  "  replied  Mr.  Aubrey,  smiling. 

"  Do  you  recollect,  sir,"  said  Mr.  Parkinson,  with  a 
trepidation  which  he  could  not  conceal,  "  several  years 
ago,  some  serious  conversation  which  you  and  I  had  to- 
gether on  the  state  of  your  title  —  when  I  was  prepar- 
ing your  marriage-settlements?" 

Mr.  Aubrey  started,  and  his  face  was  suddenly  blanched. 

"  The  matters  which  we  then  discussed  have  suddenly 
acquired  fearful  importance.  This  paper  occasions  us,  on 
your  account,  the  profoundest  anxiety."  Mr.  Aubrey  con- 
tinued silent,  gazing  on  Mr.  Parkinson  with  intensity. 
"  Supposing,  from  a  hasty  glance  at  it,  and  from  the  mes- 
sage accompanying  it,  that  it  was  merely  another  action 
of  Tomkins's  about  the  slip  of  waste  land  attached  to 
Jolter's   cottage,    I    sent  up  to   London   to   my  agents, 


TEN    THOUSAND    A-YEAR.  335 

s.  .Runnington,  requesting  them  to  call  on  the  plain- 
tiffs attorneys,  and  Bettle  the  action,     lie  did  so;  and  — 

perhaps  you  will  explain  the  rest,"  said  Mr.  Parkinson, 
with  visible  trepidation,  to  Mr.  Runnington. 

•  I  lertainly,"  said  that  gentleman,  with  a  serious  air,  but 
much  more  calmly  and  firmly  than  Mr.  Parkinson  had 
spoken.  "I  called  accordingly,  early  yesterday  morning, 
on  Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon,  and  Snap  —  they  are  a  very 
well — hut  not  enviably  —  known  firm  in  the  profession; 
and  in  a  few  minutes  my  misconception  of  the  nature  of 
the  business  which  I  had  called  to  arrange,  was  set  right. 
In  short  " lie  paused,  as  if  distressed  at  the  intelli- 
gence which   he   was   about  to  communicate. 

"Oh.  pray,  pray  go  on,  sir!"  said  Mr.  Aubrey,  in  a 
low  tone. 

••  I  am  no  stranger,  sir,  to  your  firmness  of  character; 
but  I  shall  have  to  tax  it,  I  fear,  to  its  uttermost.  To 
come  at  once  to  the  point  — they  told  me  that  I  might 
undoubtedly  nettle  the  matter,  if  you  would  consent  to 
give  up  immediate  possession  of  the  whole  Yatton  estate, 
and  account  fur  the  mesne  profits  to  their  client,  the  right 
heir  —  as  they  contend  —  a  Mr.  Tittlebat  Titmouse."  Mr. 
Aubrey  leaned  back  in  his  chair,  overcome,  for  an  instant, 
by  this  astounding  intelligence  ;  and  all  three  of  them 
preserve!  .silence  for  more  than  a  minute.  Mr.  Running- 
ton  was  a  man  of  a  very  feeling  heart.  In  the  course  of 
eat  practice  he  had  had  to  encounter  many  distress- 
ing seems:  but  probably  none  of  them  had  equalled  that 
in  which,  at  the  earnest  entreaty  of  Mr.  Parkinson,  who 
distrusted  his  own  self-possession,  he  now  bore  a  leading 
part.  The  two  attorneys  interchanged  frequent  looks  of 
deep  sympathy  for  their  unfortunate  client,  who  seemed 
stunned  by  the  intelligence  they  had  brought  him. 

"  I  felt  it  my  duty  to  lose  not  an  instant  in  coming 
down   to    Yatton,"   resumed    Mr.    Runnington,  observing 


336  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

Mr.  Aubrey's  eye  again  directed  inquiringly  towards  him  ; 
"for  Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon,  and  Snap  are  very  dan- 
gerous people  to  deal  with,  and  must  be  encountered 
promptly^  and  with  the  greatest  possible  caution.  The 
moment  that  I  had  left  them,  I  hastened  to  the  Temple, 
to  retain  for  you  Mr.  Subtle,  the  leader  of  the  Northern 
Circuit ;  but  they  had  been  beforehand  with  me,  and 
retained  him  nearly  three  months  ago,  together  with  an- 
other eminent  king's  counsel  on  the  circuit.  Under  these 
circumstances,  I  lost  no  time  in  giving  a  special  retainer 
to  the  Attorney-General,  in  which  I  trust  I  have  done 
right,  and  in  retaining  as  junior  a  gentleman  whom  I  con- 
sider to  be  incomparably  the  ablest  and  most  experienced 
lawyer  on  the  circuit." 

"  Did  they  say  anything  concerning  the  nature  of  their 
client's  title  ? "  inquired  Mr.  Aubrey,  after  some  expres- 
sions of  amazement  and  dismay. 

"  Very  little  —  I  might  say,  nothing.  If  they  had  been 
never  so  precise,  of  course  [  should  have  distrusted  every 
word  they  said.  They  certainly  mentioned  that  they  had 
had  the  first  conveyancing  opinions  in  the  kingdom,  which 
concurred  in  favor  of  their  client ;  that  they  had  been  for 
months  prepared  at  all  points,  and  accident  only  had  de- 
layed their  commencing  proceedings  till  now." 

"  Did  you  make  any  inquiries  as  to  who  the  claimant 
was  1 "  inquired  Mr.  Aubrey. 

"  Yes ;  but  all  I  could  learn  was,  that  they  had  dis- 
covered him  by  mere  accident ;  and  that  he  was  at  pres- 
ent in  very  obscure  and  distressed  circumstances.  I  tried 
to  discover  by  what  means  .they  proposed  to  commence 
and  carry  on  so  expensive  a  contest ;  but  they  smiled 
significantly,  and  were  silent."  Another  long  pause  en- 
sued, during  which  Mr.  Aubrey  was  evidently  silently 
struggling  with  very  agitating  emotions. 

"What  is  the  meaning  of  their  affecting  to  seek  the 


TEN    THOUSAND    A-YKAR.  oo7 

recovery  of  only  one   insignificant  portion  of  the  prop- 
erty]" he  inquired. 

11  It  is  their  own  choice  —  it  may  be  from  considerations 

of  mere  convenience.     The  title,  however,  by  which  they 

may  BUCCeed   in   obtaining  what  they  at  present  go  for, 

will  avail  to  recover  every  acre  of  the  estate,  and   the 

nt  action  will  consequently  decide  everything!" 

••And  Buppose  the  worst  —  that  they  are  successful," 
said  Mr.  Aubrey,  after  they  had  conversed  a  good  deal, 
and  very  anxiously,  on  the  subject  of  a  presumed  infirmity 
in  Mr.  Aubrey's  title,  which  had  been  pointed  out  to  him 
in  general  terms  by  Mr.  Parkinson,  on  the  occasion  already 
adverted  to  —  "  what  is  to  be  said  about  the  rental  which 
I  have  been  receiving  all  this  time  —  ten  thousand  ay- 
inquired  Mr.  Aubrey,  looking  as  if  he  dreaded  to 
ids  question   answered. 

"  Oh  !  that's  quite  an  after  consideration  —  let  us  first 
fight  the  battle,"  said  Mr.  Runnington. 

"  I  beg,  sir,  that  you  will  withhold  nothing  from  rne," 
said  Mr.  Aubrey.      "  To  what  extent  shall  I  be  liable]" 

Mr.  Runnington  paused. 

"  I  am  afraid  that  all  the  mesne  profits,  as  they 
are  called,  which  you  have  received" — commenced  Mr. 
Parkinson 

"  No,  no,"  interrupted  Mr.  Tiunnington  ;  "  I  have  been 
turning  that  matter  over  in  my  mind,  and  I  think  that 
the  statute  of  limitations  will  bar  all  but  the  last  six 
years 


"Why,   thai   will  be  sixty  thousand  pounds!"  inter- 
rupted   Mr.    Aubrey,    with    a   look    of    sudden    despair. 
tioua  Heavens,  that  is  perfectly  frightful  !  —  fright- 
ful!     If  I  lose  Yatton,  I  shall  not  have  a  place  to  put  my 
in  —  not  one  farthing  to  support  myself  with  !    And 
yet  to  have  to  make  up  sixty  thousand  pounds  1 '"    The 
iration  bedewed  his  forehead,  and  his  eye  was  laden 
vol.  i.  —  22 


338  TEN   THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

with  alarm  and  agony.  He  slowly  rose  from  his  chair 
and  bolted  the  door,  that  they  might  not,  at  such  an  agi- 
tating moment,  be  surprised  or  disturbed  by  any  of  the 
servants  or  the  family. 

"  I  suppose,"  said  he,  in  a  faint  and  tremulous  tone, 
"that  if  this  claim  succeed,  my  mother  also  will  share 
my  fate  " 

They  shook  their  heads  in  silence. 

"  Permit  me  to  suggest,"  said  Mr.  Runnington,  in  a 
tone  of  the  most  respectful  sympathy,  "  that  sufficient  for 
the  day  is  the  evil  thereof." 

"  But  the  night  follows !  "  said  Mr.  Aubrey,  with  a 
visible  tremor ;  and  his  voice  made  the  hearts  of  his  com- 
panions thrill  within  them.  "  I  have  a  fearful  misgiving 
as  to  the  issue  of  these  proceedings  !  I  ought  not  to 
have  neglected  the  matter  pointed  out  to  me  by  Mr. 
Parkinson  on  my  marriage  !  I  feel  as  if  I  had  been  cul- 
pably lying  by  ever  since  !  —  But  I  really  did  not  attach 
to  it  the  importance  it  deserved  :  I  never,  indeed,  dis- 
tinctly appreciated  the  nature  of  what  was  then  mentioned 
to  me  ! " 

"  A  thousand  pities  that  a  fine  was  not  levied,  is  it 
not  1 "  said  Mr.  Runnington,  turning  with  a  sigh  to  Mr. 
Parkinson. 

"  Ay,  indeed  it  is  !  "  replied  that  gentleman  —  and  they 
spoke  together  for  some  time,  and  very  earnestly,  concern- 
ing the  nature  and  efficacy  of  such  a  measure,  which  they 
explained  to  Mr.  Aubrey. 

"It  comes  to  this,"  said  he,  "that  in  all  probability,  I 
and  my  family  are  at  this  moment  "  —  he  shuddered  — 
"  trespassers  at  Yatton  ! " 

"  That,  Mr.  Aubrey,"  said  Mr.  Parkinson,  earnestly,  "  re- 
mains to  be  proved  !  We  really  are  getting  on  far  too  fast. 
A  person  who  heard  us  might  suppose  that  the  jury  had 
already  returned  a  verdict  against  us — that  judgment 


TEX   THOUSAND   A-YEAB.  339 

had  been  signed  —  and  that  the  Bheriff  was  coming  in  the 

morning  to  execute  the  writ  of  possession  in  favor  of  our 
opponent."  This  was  well  meant  by  the  speaker;  but 
surely  it  was  like  talking  of  the  machinery  of  the  ghastly 
guillotine  to  the  wretch  in  shivering  expectation  of  suffer- 
ing by  it  on  the  morrow.  An  involuntary  shudder  ran 
through  Mr.  Aubrey.  "Sixty  thousand  pounds!"  he  ex- 
claimed, rising  and  walking  to  and  fro.  "Why,  I  am 
ruined  beyond  all  redemption  !  How  can  I  ever  satisfy 
it  \"  Again  he  paced  the  room  several  times,  in  silent 
agony.  Presently  he  resumed  his  seat.  "1  have,  for 
these  several  days  past,  had  a  strango  sense  of  impending 
calamity, "  said  he,  more  calmly  —  "I  have  been  equally 
unable  to  account  for,  or  get  rid  of  it.  It  may  be  an  in- 
timation from   Heaven;  I  bow  to  its  will!" 

"We  must  remember,"  said  Mr.  Runnington,  "that 
is  nine-tenth*  of  the  law;*  which  means,  that 
your  mere  possession  will  entitle  you  to  retain  it  against 
all  the  world,  till  a  stronger  title  than  yours  to  the  right 
of  possession  be  made  out.  You  stand  on  a  mountain  ; 
and  it  is  for  your  adversary  to  displace  you,  not  by  show- 
aerely  that  you  have  no  real  title,  but  that  he  has. 
If  he  could  prove  all  your  title-deeds  to  be  merely  waste 
paper  —  that  inflict  you  have  no  more  title  to  Yatton 
than  I  have  —  he  would  not,  if  he  were  to  stop  there,  have 
advanced  his  own  case  an  inch  ;  he  must  first  establish  in 
If  a  clear  and  independent  title;  so  that  you  are 
entirely  on  the  defensive;  and  rely  upon  it,  that  though 
never  so  many  screws  may  be  loose,  so  acute  and  profound 
a  lawyer  as  the  Attorney-General  will  impose  every  diffi- 
culty on  our  opponents  " 

"Nay,  but  God  forbid  that  any  unconscientious  advan- 

ahould  be  taken  on  my  behalf!"  said  Mr.  Aubrey. 

Air.   Runnington  and  Mr.   Parkinson  both  opened  their 

eyes  pretty  wide  at  this  sally  ;  the  latter  could  not  at  first 


340  TEN    THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

understand  why  everything  should  not  be  fair  in  war ;  the 
former  saw  and  appreciated  the  nobility  of  soul  which  had 
dictated  the  exclamation. 

"  I  suppose  the  affair  will  soon  become  public,"  said  Mr. 
Aubrey,  with  an  air  of  profound  depression,  after  much 
further  conversation. 

"  Your  position  in  the  county,  your  eminence  in  public 
life,  the  singularity  of  the  case,  and  the  magnitude  of  the 
stake  —  all  are  circumstances  undoubtedly  calculated  soon 
to  urge  the  affair  before  the  notice  of  the  public,"  said  Mr. 
Eunnington. 

"  What  disastrous  intelligence  to  break  to  my  family  !  " 
exclaimed  Mr.  Aubrey,  tremulously.  "  With  what  fearful 
suddenness  it  has  burst  upon  us  !  But  something,  I  sup- 
pose," he  presently  added  with  forced  calmness,  "  must  be 
done  immediately  % " 

"Undoubtedly,"  replied  Mr.  Runnington.  "  Mr.  Park- 
inson and  I  will  immediately  proceed  to  examine  your 
title-deeds,  the  greater  portion  of  which  are,  I  understand, 
here  in  the  Hall,  and  the  rest  at  Mr.  Parkinson's ;  and 
prepare,  without  delay,  a  case  for  the  opinion  of  the  At- 
torney-General, and  also  of  the  most  eminent  conveyancers 
of  the  kingdom.  Who,  by  the  way,"  said  Mr.  Runnington, 
addressing  Mr.  Parkinson  —  "  who  was  the  conveyancer 
that  had  the  abstracts  before  him,  on  preparing  Mr.  Au- 
brey's marriage-settlement  % " 

"  Oh,  you  are  alluding  to  the  '  Opinion  '  I  mentioned  to 
you  this  evening  % "  inquired  Mr.  Parkinson.  "  I  have  it 
at  my  house,  and  will  show  it  you  in  the  morning.  The 
doubt  he  expressed  on  one  or  two  points  gave  me,  I  re- 
collect, no  little  uneasiness  —  as  you  may  remember,  Mr. 
Aubrey." 

"  I  certainly  do,"  he  replied  with  a  profound  sigh ; 
"  but  though  what  you  said  reminded  me  of  something 
or  other  that  I  had  heard  when  a  mere  boy,  I  thought 


TEX    THOUSAND    A-YEAR.  341 

no  more  of  it.  I  think  you  also  told  me  that  the  gentle- 
man who  wrote  the  opinion  was  a  nervous,  fidgety  man, 
always  raising  difficulties  in  his  clients'  titles  —  and  one 
way  or  another,  the  thing  never  gave  me  any  concern  — 

scarcely  ever  even  occurred  to  my  thoughts,  till  to-day  ! 
What  infatuation  has  been  mine  ! —  But  you  will  take  a 
little  refreshment,  gentlemen,  after  your  journey  \n  said 
Mr.  Aubrey,  suddenly,  glad  of  the  opportunity  it  would 
afford  him  of  reviving  his  own  exhausted  spirits  by  a 
little  wine,  before  returning  to  the  drawing-room.  He 
swallowed  several  glasses  of  wine  without  their  producing 
any  immediately  perceptible  effect;  and  the  bearers  of 
the  direful  intelligence  just  communicated  to  the  reader, 
after  a  promise  by  Mr.  Aubrey  to  drive  over  to  Grilston 
early  in  the  morning,  and  bring  with  him  such  of  his  title- 
deeds  as  were  then  at  the  Hall,  took  their  departure; 
leaving  him  outwardly  calmer,  but  with  a  fearful  oppres- 
sion at  his  heart.  He  made  a  powerful  effort  to  control 
his  feelings,  so  as  to  conceal,  for  a  while  at  least,  the  dread- 
ful occurrence  of  the  evening.  His  countenance  and  con- 
strained manner,  however,  on  re-entering  the  drawing- 
room,  which  his  mother,  attended  by  Kate,  had  quitted 
for  her  bedroom  —  somewhat  alarmed  Mrs.  Aubrey  ;  but 
sily  quieted  her  —  poor  soul!  —  by  saying  that  he 
certainly  had  been  annoyed  —  "  excessively  annoyed  "  — 
iiununication  just  made  to  him  ;  "and  which  might, 
in  fact,  prevent  his  fitting  again  for  Yatton."  M  Oh,  that's 
the  cause  of  your  long  stay]  There,  Doctor,  am  I  not 
right  1"  said  Mrs.  Aubrey,  appealing  to  Dr.  Tatham. 
"Did  I  not  tell  you  that  this  was  something  connected 
with  politics  ?  Oh,  dearest  Charles — I  do  hate  politics! 
Give  me  a  quiet  home  !  "  A  pang  shot  through  Mr.  Au- 
heart  ;  but  he  felt  that  he  had,  for  the  present, 
succeeded  in  his  object. 

Mr.  Aubrey's  distracted  mind  was  indeed,  as  it  were, 


342  TEN  THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

buffeted  about  that  night  on  a  dark  sea  of  trouble ;  while 
the  beloved  being  beside  him  lay  sleeping  peacefully,  all 
unconscious  of  the  rising  storm  !  Many  times,  during 
that  dismal  night,  would  he  have  risen  from  his  bed  to 
seek  a  momentary  relief  by  walking  to  and  fro,  but  that 
he  feared  disturbing  her,  and  disclosing  the  extent  and 
depth  of  his  distress.  It  was  nearly  five  o'clock  in  the 
morning  before  he  at  length  sank  into  sleep ;  and  of  one 
thing  I  can  assure  the  reader,  that  however  that  excellent 
man  might  have  shrunk  —  and  shrink  he  did  —  from  the 
sufferings  which  seemed  in  store,  not  for  himself  only,  but 
for  those  who  were  far  dearer  to  him  than  life  itself,  he 
did  not  give  way  to  one  repining  or  rebellious  thought. 
On  the  contrary,  his  real  frame  of  mind,  on  that  trying 
occasion,  may  be  discovered  in  one  short  prayer,  which 
his  agonized  soul  was  more  than  once  on  the  point  of  ex- 
pressing aloud  in  words  —  "  Oh,  my  God  !  in  my  pros- 
perity I  have  endeavored  always  to  acknowledge  thee; 
forsake  not  me  and  mine  in  our  adversity  ! " 

At  an  early  hour  in  the  morning  Mr.  Aubrey's  carriage 
drew  up  at  Mr.  Parkinson's  door ;  and  he  brought  with 
him,  as  he  had  promised,  a  great  number  of  title-deeds 
and  family  documents.  On  these,  as  well  as  on  many 
others  which  were  in  Mr.  Parkinson's  custody,  that  gen- 
tleman and  Mr.  Eunnington  w7ere  anxiously  engaged  dur- 
ing almost  every  minute  of  that  day  and  the  ensuing  one  ; 
at  the  close  of  which,  they  had  between  them  drawn  up 
the  rough  draft  of  a  case,  with  which  Mr.  Eunnington  set 
off  for  town  by  the  mail ;  undertaking  to  lay  it  immedi- 
ately before  the  Attorney-General,  and  also  before  one  or 
two  of  the  most  eminent  conveyancers  of  the  day,  effect- 
ually commended  to  their  best  and  earliest  attention.  He 
pledged  himself  to  transmit  their  opinions,  by  the  very 
first  mail,  to  Mr.  Parkinson ;  and  both  of  those  gentlemen 
immediately  set  about  active  preparations  for  defending 


TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR.  343 

the  ejectment.  The  "eminent  conveyancer"  fixed  upon 
by  Messrs.  Runnington  and  Parkinson  was  Mr.  Tresayle, 

clerk,  however,  on  looking  into  the  papers,  pres- 
ently carried  them  back  to  Messrs.  Runnington,  with  the 
startling  information  thai  Mr.  Tresayle  had,  a  few  months 
before,  "'advised  on  the  other  side!"  The  next  per- 
son whom  Mr.  Runnington  thought  of,  was  —  singularly 
enough  —  Mr.  Mortmain,  who,  on  account  of  his  eminence, 
was  occasionally  employed,  in  heavy  matters,  by  the  firm. 
Hi*  clerk,  also,  on  the  ensuing  morning  returned  the  pa- 
pers, assigning  a  similar  reason  to  that  which  had  been 
given  by  Mr.  Tresayle's  clerk  !     All  this  formed  a  direful 

ration,  truly,  of  Messrs.  Quirk  and  Gammon's  as- 
surance to  Mr.  Runnington,  that  they  had  "had  the  first 
conveyancing  opinions  in  the  kingdom;"  and  evidenced 
the  formidable  scale  on  which  their  operations  were  being 
conducted.  There  were,  however,  other  "  eminent  con- 
veyancers" besides  the  two  above  mentioned;  and  in  the 
hands  of  Mr.  Mansfield,  who,  with  a  less  extended  repu- 
tation, but  an  equal  practice,  was  a  far  abler  man,  and  a 
much  higher  style  of  conveyancer,  than  Mr.  Mortmain, 
Mr.  Runnington  left  his  client's  interests  with  the  utmost 
confidence.  Xot  satisfied  with  this,  he  laid  the  case  also 
before  Mr.  Crystal,  the  junior  whom  he  had  already  re- 
tained in  the  cause  —  a  man  whose  lucid  understanding 
.•>t  ill  indicated  by  his  name.  Though  his  manner 
in  court  was  not  particularly  forcible  or  attractive,  he  was 
an  invaluable  acquisition  in  an  important  cause.  To  law 
he  had  for  some  twenty  years  applied  himself  with  un- 
rgy  ;  and  he  consequently  became  a  ready, 
accurate,  and  thorough  lawyer,  equal  to  all  the  practical 
of  his  profession.  He  brought  his  knowledge 
iv  point  presented  to  him,  with  beautiful 
precision.      He  was  equally  quick  and  cautious  —  artful 

degree  —  But   I   shall  have  other  opportunities  of 


344  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

describing  him;  since  on  him,  as  on  every  working  jun- 
ior, will  devolve  the  real  conduct  of  the  defendant's  case 
in  the  memorable  action  of  Doe  on  the  demise  of  Titmouse 
v.  Roe. 

As  Mr.  Aubrey  was  driving  home  from  the  visit  to  Mr. 
Parkinson,  which  I  have  just  above  mentioned,  he  stopped 
his  carriage  and  alighted,  on  entering  the  village,  because 
he  saw  Dr.  Tatham  coming  out  of  Williams's  cottage,  where 
he  had  been  paying  a  visit  to  poor  dying  Phoebe. 

The  little  doctor  was  plunthering  on,  ankle-deep  in 
snow,  towards  the  vicarage,  when  Mr.  Aubrey  (who  had 
sent  home  his  carriage  with  word  that  he  should  pres- 
ently follow)  came  up  with  him,  and  greeting  him  with 
unusual  fervor,  said  that  he  would  accompany  him  to  the 
vicarage. 

"You  are  in  very  great  trouble,  my  dear  friend,"  said 
the  doctor,  seriously  —  "I  saw  it  plainly  last  night ; 
but  of  course  I  said  nothing.  Come  in  with  me !  Let 
us  talk  freely  with  one  another  ;  for,  as  iron  sharpeneth 
iron,  so  doth  the  countenance  of  a  man  his  friend.  Is  it 
not  so  1 " 

"  It  is  indeed,  my  dear  doctor/'  replied  Mr.  Aubrey,  sud- 
denly softened  by  the  affectionate  simplicity  of  the  doc- 
tor's manner.  How  much  the  good  doctor  was  shocked 
by  the  communication  which  Mr.  Aubrey  presently  made 
to  him,  the  reader  may  easily  imagine.  He  even  shed 
tears,  on  beholding  the  forced  calmness  with  which  Mr. 
Aubrey  depicted  the  gloomy  prospect  that  was  before 
him.  The  venerable  pastor  led  the  subdued  mind  of  his 
companion  to  those  sources  of  consolation  and  support 
which  a  true  Christian  cannot  approach  in  vain.  Upon 
his  bruised  and  bleeding  feelings  were  poured  the  balm 
of  true  religious  consolation  ;  and  Mr.  Aubrey  quitted  his 
revered  companion  with  a  far  firmer  tone  of  mind  than 
that  with  which  he  had  entered  the  vicarage.      But  as 


TEX    THOUSAND    A-YEAK.  345 

soon  as  he  had  passed  through  the  park  gates,  the  sud- 
den reflection  that  ho  was  probably  no  Longer  the  proprie- 
tor of  the  dear  old  familiar  objects  that  met  lus  eye  at 
every  Btep,  almost  overpowered  him,  and  he  walked  sev- 
eral times  up  and  down  the  avenue,  before  he  had  re- 
covered  a   due   degree   of  sell-possession. 

On  entering  the  Hall,  he  was  informed  that  one  of  the 
tenants,  Peter  Johnson,  had  been  Bitting  in  the  servants' 
hall  for  nearly  two  hours,  waiting  to  see  him.  .Mr.  Au- 
brey repaired  at  once  to  the  library,  and  desired  the  man 

ahown  in.  This  Johnson  had  been  for  some  twenty- 
live  years  a  tenant  of  a  considerable  farm  on  the  estate; 
had  scarcely  ever  been  behind-hand  with  his  rent ;  and 
had  always  been  considered  one  of  the  most  exemplary 

is  in  the  whole  neighborhood.  He  had  now,  poor 
fellow,  u'-'t  into  trouble  indeed  :  for  he  had,  a  year  or  two 
before,  been  persuaded  to  become  security  for  his  brother- 
in-law,  a  tax-collector  ;  and  had,  alas  !  the  day  before,  been 
called  upon  to  pay  the  three  hundred  pounds  in  which 
he  stood  bound  —  his  worthless  brother-in-law  having  ab- 
sconded with  nearly  £1,000  of  the  public  money.  Poor 
Johnson,  who  had  a  large  family  to  support,  was  in  deep 
tribulation,  bowed  down  with  grief  and  shame  ;  and  after 
-  night,  had  at  length  ventured  down  to  Yatton, 
with  a  desperate  boldness,  to  ask  its  benevolent  owner  to 
advance  him  £200  towards  the  money,  to  save  himself 
from  being  cast  into  prison.     Mr.  Aubrey  heard  this  sad 

to  the  end,  without  one  single  interruption;  though 
to  a  more  pracl  rver  than  the  troubled  old  farmer, 

the  workings  of  Mr.  Aubrey's  countenance,  from  time  to 
time,  must  have  told  his  inward  agitation.      "  I  lend  this 

-.ul    £200 !"  thought  he,  "who  am  penniless  my- 
U   I    Dot  be  really  acting  as  his  dishonest  rela- 
tive b  ._■.  ml  making  free  with  money  which 
•  >  another  ]  " 


346  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

"I  assure  you,  my  worthy  friend,"  said  he  at  length, 
with  a  little  agitation  of  manner,  "  that  I  have  just  now 
a  very  serious  call  upon  me  —  or  you  know  how  gladly  I 
would  have  complied  with  your  request." 

"  Oh,  sir,  have  mercy  on  me  !  I  've  an  ailing  wife  and 
seven  children  to  support,"  said  poor  Johnson,  wringing 
his  hands. 

"  Can't  I  do  anything  with  the  Government  1  " 

"  No,  sir ;  I  'm  told  they  're  so  mighty  angry  with  my 
rascally  brother,  they  '11  listen  to  nobody  !  It 's  a  hard 
matter  for  me  to  keep  things  straight  at  home  without 
this,  sir,  I  Ve  so  many  months  to  fill ;  and  if  they  take 
me  off  to  prison,  Lord  !  Lord  !  what 's  to  become  of  us 
alH" 

Mr.  Aubrey's  lip  quivered.  Johnson  fell  on  his  knees, 
and  the  tears  ran  down  his  cheeks.  "  I  've  never  asked 
a  living  man  for  money  before,  sir ;  and  if  you  '11  only  lend 
it  me,  God  Almighty  will  bless  you  and  yours ;  you  '11  save 
us  all  from  ruin  ;  I  '11  work  day  and  night  to  pay  it  back 
again  ! " 

"  Rise  —  rise,  Johnson,"  said  Mr.  Aubrey,  with  emo- 
tion. "You  shall  have  the  money,  my  friend,  if  you 
will  call  to-morrow,"  he  added  with  a  deep  sigh,  after  a 
moment's  hesitation. 

He  was  as  good  as  his  word.19 

Had  Mr.  Aubrey  been  naturally  of  a  cheerful  and  viva- 
cious turn,  the  contrast  now  afforded  by  his  gloomy  man- 
ner must  have  alarmed  his  family.  As  it  was,  however, 
the  contrast  was  not  so  strong  and  marked  as  to  be  at- 
tended with  that  effect,  especially  as  he  exerted  himself 
to  the  utmost  to  conceal  his  distress.  That  something 
had  gone  wrong,  he  freely  acknowledged ;  and  as  he 
spoke  of  it  always  in  connection  with  political  topics,  he 
succeeded  in  parrying  their  questions,  and  checking  sus- 
picion.    But,  whenever  they  were  all  collected  together, 


TEX  THOUSAND  A-YEAK.  347 

could  he  not  justly  oompare  them  to  a  happy  group,  un- 
conscious that  they  stood  on  a  mine  which  was  on  the  eve 
of  being  tired  1 

About  a  week  afterwards,  namely,  on  the  12th  of  Jan- 
uary, arrived  little  Charles's  birthday,  when  he  became 
five  years  old  ;  and  Kate  had  for  some  days  beeu  moving 
heaven  and  earth  to  get  up  a  juvenile  hall  in  honor  of  the 
occasion.  After  divers  urgent  despatches,  and  considera- 
ble riding  and  driving  about,  she  succeeded  in  persuad- 
ing the  parents  of  some  eight  or  ten  children  —  two  little 
daughters,  for  instance,  of  the  Earl  of  Oldacre  (beautiful 
creatures  they  were,  to  be  sure) — little  Master  and  the 
two  Miss  Bertons,  the  children  of  one  of  the  county  mem- 
bers—  Sir  Harry  Oldfield,  an  orphan  of  about  five  years 
ge,  the  infant  owner  of  a  magnificent  estate  —  and 
r  three  little  girls  beside  —  to  send  them  all  —  cold 
as  was  the  weather — to  Yatton,  for  a  day  and  a  night, 
with   their  governesses  and  attendants. 

T  was  a  charming  little  affair  !  It  went  oif  brilliantly, 
as  the  phrase  is,  and  repaid  all  Kate's  exertions.  She, 
her  mother,  and  brother,  and  sister,  all  dined  at  the  same 
table,  at  a  very  early  hour,  with  the  merry  little  guests, 
who,  (with  a  laughable  crowd  of  attendants  behind  them, 
t  i  be  sure)  behaved  remarkably  well  on  the  occasion.  Sir 
Harry  (a  little  thing  about  Charles's  age  —  the  black  rib- 
round  his  waist,  and  also  the  half-mourning  dress 
w^rn  by  his  maid,  who  stood  behind  him,  showed  how 
recent  was  the  event  which  had  made  him  an  orphan) 
proposed  little  Aubrey's  health,  in  (I  must  own)  a  some- 
what still'  speech,  demurely  dictated  to  him  by  Kate,  who 
sat  between  him  and  her  beautiful  little  nephew.  She 
then  performed  the  same  office  for  Charles,  who  stood  on 
r  while  delivering  his  eloquent  acknowledgment  of 
the  t 

[Oh  !    that   anguished   brow  of  thine,  Aubrey,   (thank 


348  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

God  it  is  unobserved  !)  but  it.  tells  me  that  the  iron  is 
entering  thy  soul !] 

And  the  moment  that  he  had  done  —  Kate  folding  her 
arms  around  him  and  kissing  him  —  down  they  all  jumped, 
and,  a  merry  throng,  scampered  off  to  the  drawing-room, 
(followed  by  Kate,)  where  blind-man's  buff,  husbands  and 
wives,  and  divers  other  little  games,  kept  them  in  con- 
stant enjoyment.     After  tea,  they  were  to  have  dancing 

—  Kate  mistress  of  the  ceremonies  —  and  it  was  quite 
laughable  to  see  how  perpetually  she  was  foiled  in  her  ef- 
forts to  form  the  little  sets.     The  girls  were  orderly  enough 

—  but  their  wild  little  partners  were  quite  uncontrolla- 
ble !  The  instant  they  were  placed,  and  Kate  had  gone 
to  the  instrument  and  struck  off  a  bar  or  two  —  ah  !  — 
what  a  scrambling  little  crowd  was  to  be  seen  wildly  jump- 
ing and  laughing,  and  chattering  and  singing  !  Over  and 
over  again  she  formed  them  into  sets,  with  the  like  re- 
sults. But  at  length  a  young  lady,  one  of  their  gover- 
nesses, took  Miss  Aubrey's  place  at  the  piano,  leaving  the 
latter  to  superintend  the  performances  in  person.  She  at 
length  succeeded  in  getting  up  something  like  a  country- 
dance,  led  off  by  Charles  and  little  Lady  Anne  Cherville, 
the  eldest  daughter  of  the  Earl  of  Oldacre,  a  beautiful 
child  of  about  five  years  old,  and  who,  judging  from  ap- 
pearances, bade  fair  in  due  time  to  become  another  Lady 
Caroline  Caversham.  You  would  have  laughed  outright 
to  watch  the  coquettish  airs  which  this  little  creature 
gave  herself  with  Charles,  whom  yet  she  evidently  could 
not  bear  to  see  dancing  with  another. 

"  Now  /  shall  dance  with  somebody  else  ! "  he  ex- 
claimed, suddenly  quitting  Lady  Anne,  and  snatching 
hold  of  a  sweet  little  thing,  Miss  Berton,  standing  mod- 
estly beside  him.  The  discarded  beauty  walked  with  a 
stately  air,  and  a  swelling  heart,  towards  Mrs.  Aubrey, 
who  sat  beside  her  husband  on  the  sofa ;  and  on  reaching 


TEX  THOUSAND  A.-YEAE,  349 

her,  Btood  for  a  few  moments  silently  watching  her  fickle 
partner  busily  ami  gayly  engaged  with  her  successor  — 

Then   she   burst   into   teats. 

■  I  h  urlea  I  "  called  out  Mrs.  Aubrey  ;  who  had  watched 
the  whole  affair,  ami  could  hardly  keep  her  countenance 

—  uoome  hither  directly,  Charles!" 

"  yes,  mamma  !  "  lie  exclaimed  —  quite  unaware  of  the 
serious  aspect  which  things  were  assuming  —  and  without 
quitting  the  dance,  where  he  was  (as  his  jealous  mistress 
too  plainly  saw,  for,  despite  her  grief,  her  eye  seemed  to 
follow  all  his  motions)  skipping  about  with  infinite  glee 
with  a  third  partner —  a  laughing  sister  of  her  for  whom 
he  had  quitted  Lady  Anne. 

"  Do  you  hear  your  mamma,  Charles ! "  said  Mr. 
Aubrey,  somewhat  peremptorily  ;  and  in  an  instant  his 
little  son,  all  flushed  and  breathless,  was  at  his  side. 

'•  Well,  dear  papa  ! "  said  he,  keeping  his  eye  fixed  on 
the  merry  throng  he  had  just  quitted,  and  where  his 
rted  partner  was  skipping  about  alone. 

"  What  have  you  been  doing  to  Lady  Anne,  Charles'?" 
said  his  father. 

"  Nothing,  dear  papa !  "  he  replied,  still  wistfully 
eying  the  dancers. 

"  You  know  you  left  me,  and  went  to  dance  with  Miss 
D  ;  you  did,  Charles  !  "  said  the  offended  beauty, 
sobbii  _. 

"  That  is  not  behaving  like  a  little  gentleman,  Charles," 
said  his  father.     The  tears  came  to  the  child's  eyes. 

"  I  'm  very  sorry,  dear  papa,  I  will  dance  with  her." 

"  No,  not  now,"  said  Lady  Anne,  haughtily. 

"Oh,   pooh!    pooh! — kiss  and  be  friends,"  said  Mrs. 

Aubrey,  laughing,  "  and  go  and  dance  as  prettily  as  you 

were  doing  before."     Little  Aubrey  put  his  arms  around 

Anne,  kissed  her,  and  away  they  both  started  to  the 

dance  again.      While  the   latter   part   of  this   scene  was 


350  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

going  on,  Mr.  Aubrey's  eye  caught  the  figure  of  a  servant 
who  simply  made  his  appearance  at  the  door  and  then 
retired,  (for  such  had  been  Mr.  Aubrey's  orders,  in  the 
event  of  any  messenger  arriving  from  Grilston.)  Hastily 
whispering  that  he  should  speedily  return,  he  left  the 
room.  In  the  hall  stood  a  clerk  from  Mr.  Parkinson  ; 
and  on  seeing  Mr.  Aubrey,  he  took  out  a  packet  and 
retired  —  Mr.  Aubrey,  with  evident  trepidation,  repair- 
ing to  his  library.  With  a  nervous  hand  he  broke  the 
seal,  and  found  the  following  letter  from  Mr.  Parkinson, 
with  three  other  enclosures  :  — 

"  Grilston,  12th  Jan.  18  — . 
"  My  dea.r  Sir, 

"I  have  only  just  received,  and  at  once  forward  to  you, 
copies  of  the  three  opinions  given  by  the  Attorney- General, 
Mr.  Mansfield,  and  Mr.  Crystal.  I  lament  to  find  that  they 
are  all  of  a  discouraging  character.  They  were  given  by  their 
respective  writers  without  any  of  them  having  had  any  oppor- 
tunity of  conferring  together  —  all  the  three  cases  having  been 
laid  before  them  at  the  same  time  :  yet  you  will  observe  that 
each  of  them  has  hit  upon  precisely  the  same  point,  viz.  that 
the  descendants  of  Geoffrey  Dreddlington  had  no  right  to  suc- 
ceed to  the  inheritance  till  there  was  a  failure  of  the  heirs  of 
Stephen  Dreddlington.  If,  therefore,  our  discreditable  oppo- 
nents should  have  unhappily  contrived  to  ferret  out  some  per- 
son satisfying  that  designation,  (I  cannot  conjecture  how  they 
can  ever  have  got  upon  the  scent,)  I  really  fear  (it  is  no  use 
disguising  matters)  we  must  prepare  for  a  very  serious  struggle. 
I  have  been  quietly  pushing  my  inquiries  in  all  directions, 
with  a  view  to  obtaining  a  clew  to  the  case  intended  to  be  set 
up  against  us,  and  which  you  will  find  very  shrewdly  guessed 
at  by  the  Attorney-General.  Nor  am  I  the  only  party,  I  find, 
in  the  field,  who  has  been  making  pointed  inquiries  in  your 
neighborhood  ;  but  of  this  more  when  we  meet  to-morrow. 
"  I  remain, 

"  Yours  most  respectfully, 

"  J.  Parkinson. 
"  Charles  Aubrey,  Esq.,  M.  P.  &c.  &c.  &c." 


rr.N   THOUSAND  a-yk.ui.  35] 

Having  read  this  Letter,  Mr.  Aubrey  sank  back  in  his 
chair,  and  remained  motionless  for  more  than  a  quarter 
of  an  hour.     At  length  he  roused  himself,  and  read  over 

the  opinions;  the  effect  of  which  —  as  far  as  he  could 
comprehend  their  technicalities  —  he  found  hail  been  but 
too  correctly  given  by  Mr.  Parkinson.     Some  suggestions 

and  inquiries  put  by  the  acute  and  experienced  Mr.  Crys- 
tal, suddenly  revived  recollections  of  one  or  two  incidents 
even  of  his  boyish  days,  long  forgotten,  but  which,  as  he 
reflected  upon  them,  began  to  reappear  to  his  mind's  eye 
with  Bickening  distinctness.  "Wave  after  wave  of  appre- 
hension and  agony  passed  over  him,  chilling  and  benumb- 
ing his  heart  within  him;  so  that,  when  his  little  son 
came   some  time   afterwards  running  up  to   him,  with   a 

ge  from  his  mamma,  that  she  hoped  he  could  come 
back  to  see  them  all  play  at  snap-dragon  before  they 
went  to  bed,  he  replied  mechanically,  hardly  seeming  sen- 
sible even  of  the  presence  of  the  laughing  and  breathless 

..h<»  quickly  scampered  back  again.  At  length,  with 
a  groan  that  came  from  the  depths  of  his  heart,  Mr. 
Aubrey  rose  and  walked  to  and  fro,  sensible  of  the  neces- 

f  exertion,  and  preparing  himself,  in  some  degree, 
for  encountering  his  mother,  his  wife,  and  his  sister. 
Taking  up  his  candle,  he  hastened  to  his  dressing-room, 
where  he  hoped,  by  the  aid  of  refreshing  ablutions,  to 
succeed  in  effacing  at  least  the  stronger  of  those  traces 
of  Buffering  which  his  glass  displayed  to   him,  as   it  re- 

I  the  image  of  his  agitated  countenance.     A  sudden 

recollection  of  the  critical  and  delicate  situation  of   his 

1  wife,  glanced  through  his  heart  like  a  keen  arrow. 

nk  upon  the  sofa,  and,  clasping  his  hands,  looked 

1   forlorn.     Presently  the  door  was  pushed   hastily 

gently  open  ;  and,  first  looking  in  to  see  that  it  was 

really  he  of  whom   she   was  in  search,   in  rushed    Mis. 

Aubrey,  pale  and  agitated,  having  been  alarmed  by  his 


352  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

long-continued  absence  from  the  drawing-room,  and  the 
look  of  the  servant,  from  whom  she  had  learned  that  his 
master  had  been  for  some  time  gone  up-stairs. 

"  Charles  !  my  love  !  my  sweet  love  !  "  she  exclaimed, 
rushing  in,  sitting  down  beside  him,  and  casting  her  arms 
round  his  neck.  Overcome  by  the  suddenness  of  her 
appearance  and  movements,  for  a  moment  he  spoke  not. 

"  For  mercy's  sake  —  as  you  love  me  !  —  tell  me, 
dearest  Charles,  what  has  happened  ! "  she  gasped,  kissing 
him  fervently. 

"Nothing  —  love  —  nothing,"  he  replied;  but  his  look 
belied  his  speech. 

"Oh!  am  not  I  your  wife,  dearest?  Charles,  I  shall 
really  go  distracted  if  you  do  not  tell  me  what  has  hap- 
pened !  —  I  know  that  something  —  something  dreadful " 
—  He  put  his  arm  round  her  waist,  and  drew  her  tenderly 
towards  him.  He  felt  her  heart  beating  violently.  He 
kissed  her  cold  forehead,  but  spoke  not. 

"  Come,  dearest !  —  my  own  Charles  !  —  let  me  share 
your  sorrows,"  said  she,  in  a  thrilling  voice.  "  Cannot 
you  trust  your  Agnes  1  Has  not  Heaven  sent  me  to  share 
your  anxieties  and  griefs  ? " 

"  I  love  you,  Agnes  !  ay,  perhaps  more  than  ever  man 
loved  woman  !  "  he  faltered,  as  he  felt  her  arms  folding 
him  in  closer  and  closer  embrace ;  and  she  gazed  at  him 
with  wild  agitation,  expecting  presently  to  hear  of  some 
fearful  catastrophe. 

"  I  cannot  bear  this  much  longer,  dearest  —  I  feel  I 
cannot,"  said  she,  rather  faintly.  "  What  has  happened  1 
What,  that  you  dare  not  tell  me  ?  I  can  bear  anything, 
while  I  have  you  and  my  children  !  You  have  been  un- 
happy —  you  have  been  wretched,  Charles,  for  many  days 
past.  I  have  felt  that  you  were  !  —  I  will  not  part  with 
you  till  I  know  all !  " 

"You  soon  must  know  all,  my  sweet  love ;  and  I  take 


TEN    THOUSAND    A-YKAK.  353 

Heaven  to  witness,  that  it  is  principally  on  your  account, 

and  that  o(  my  children,  that  I in  fact,  I  did  not 

wish  any  of  you   to  have  known  it  till" 

"You  —  are  never  going  —  to  fight  a  duel  f*  she  gasped, 
turning  white  as  death. 

MOh!    DO,  DO,  AgUeal    I  solemnly  assure  you!    Ifl  could 

have  brought  myself  to  engage  in  such  an  unhallowed 
affair,  would  this  aoene  ever  first  have  occurred  I    No,  no, 

my  own  love  !     Must  I   then  tell  you  of  the  misfortune 

that  has  overtaken   us?"      His  words  somewhat  restored 

her,  but  she  continued  to  gaze  at  him  in  mute  and  breath- 

|  'prehension.     "  Let  me  then  conceal  nothing,  Agnes 

—  they  are  bringing  an  action  against  me,  which,  ifsuc- 

!.  may  cause  us  all  to  quit  Yatton  —  and  it  may 
be,  forever.*1 

•• '  lb,  Charles  !  "  she  murmured,  her  eyes  riveted  upon 
bile  she  unconsciously  moved  still  nearer  to  him  and 
trembled.     Her  head  drooped  upon  his  shoulder. 

■•  Why  is  this?"  she  whispered,  after  a  pause. 

"  Let  us,  dearest,  talk  of  it  another  time.  I  have  now 
told  you  what  you  asked  me.  "  —  He  poured  her  out 
a  glass  of  water.  Having  drank  a  little,  she  appeared 
revived. 

••  [fl  all  lost  ?  —  And  —  why  ?  Do,  my  own  Charles  — 
let  me  know  really  the  worst  !  " 

"  We  are  young,  my  Agnes !  and  have  the  world  before 
us!  Health  and  integrity  are  better  than  riches!  You 
and  our  little  loves  —  the  children  which  God  has  given  its 

—  are  my  riches,"  said  he,  gazing  at  her  with  unspeakable 
tenderness.  "  Even  should  it  be  the  will  of  Heaven  that 
this  affair  should  go  against  us  —  so  long  as  they  cannot 
separate  us  from  each  other,  they  cannot  really  hurt  us  !" 
She   suddenly   kissed   him    with   frantic   energy,   and   an 

rk  smile  gleamed  over  her  pallid  excited  features. 
•  I    din  yourself,  Agnes!  —  calm  yourself,  for  my  sake  ! 
vni..  i.  —  23 


354  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAK. 

—  as  you  love  me!"     His  voice  quivered.     "Oh,  how 

very  weak  and  foolish  I  have  been  to  yield  to" 

"  No,  no,  no !  "  she  gasped,  evidently  laboring  with 
hysteric  oppression.  "Hush!"  said  she,  suddenly  start- 
ing, and  wildly  leaning  forward  towards  the  door  which 
opened  into  the  gallery  leading  to  the  various  bedrooms. 
He  listened  —  the  mother's  ear  had  been  quick  and  true. 
He  presently  heard  the  sound  of  many  children's  voices 
approaching :  they  were  the  little  party,  accompanied 
by  Kate,  and  their  attendants,  on  their  way  to  bed  ; 
and  little  Charles's  voice  was  loudest,  and  his  laugh  the 
merriest,  of  them  all.  A  dreadful  smile  gleamed  on  Mrs. 
Aubrey's  face ;  her  hand  grasped  her  husband's  with  con- 
vulsive pressure  ;  and  she  suddenly  sank,  rigid  and  sense- 
less, upon  the  sofa.  He  seemed  for  a  moment  stunned  at 
the  sight  of  her  motionless  figure.  Soon,  however,  re- 
covering his  presence  of  mind,  he  rang  the  bell,  and  one 
or  two  female  attendants  quickly  appeared,  by  whose  joint 
assistance  Mrs.  Aubrey  was  carried  to  her  bed  in  the  ad- 
joining room,  where,  by  the  use  of  the  ordinary  remedies, 
she  was,  after  a  brief  interval,  restored  to  consciousness. 
Her  first  languid  look  was  towards  Mr.  Aubrey,  whose 
hand  she  slowly  raised  to  her  lips.  She  tried  to  throw 
a  smile  over  her  wan  features  —  but  't  was  in  vain  ;  and, 
after  a  few  heavy  and  half-choking  sobs,  her  overcharged 
feelings  found  relief  in  a  flood  of  tears.  Full  of  the  live- 
liest apprehensions  as  to  the  effect  of  this  violent  emotion 
upon  her,  in  her  critical  condition,  he  remained  with  her 
for  some  time,  pouring  into  her  ear  every  soothing  and 
tender  expression  he  could  think  of.  He  at  length  suc- 
ceeded in  bringing  her  into  a  somewhat  more  tranquil 
state  than  he  could  have  expected.  He  strictly  enjoined 
the  attendants,  who  had  not  quitted  their  lady's  chamber, 
and  whose  alarmed  and  inquisitive  looks  he  had  noticed 
for  some  time  with  anxiety,  to  preserve  silence  concerning 


TEN   THOUSAND    A-\  l'.AK.  355 

what  they  had  so  unexpectedly  witnessed,  adding,  that 
something  unfortunate  had  happened, of  which  they  would 
hear  but  too  soon. 

••  Are  yon  going  to  tell  Kate  ? "  whispered  Mrs.  Aubrey, 
Borrowfully.  "  Surely,  love,  you  have  Buffered  enough 
through  my  weakness.  Wait  till  to-morrow.  Let  her  — 
poor  girl!  —  have  %  fete  more  happy   hours!" 

"No,  Agnes — it  was  my  own  weakness  which  caused 
me  to  be  surprised  into  this  premature  disclosure  to  you. 
And  now  I  must  meet  her  again  to-night,  and  I  cannot 
control  either  my  features,  or  my  feelings.  Yes,  poor 
Kate,  she  must  know  all  to-night!  I  shall  not  be  long 
absent,  Agnes."  And  directing  her  maid  to  remain  with 
her  till  he  returned,  he  withdrew,  and  with  slow  step  and 
heavy  heart  descended  to  the  library  ;  preparing  himself 
for  another  heart-breaking  scene  —  plunging  another  in- 
nocent and  joyous  creature  into  misery,  which  he  believed 
to  be  inevitable.  Having  looked  into  the  drawing-room 
as  he  passed  it,  and  seen  no  one  there  —  his  mother  hav- 
ing,  as  usual,  retired  at  a  very  early  hour  —  he  rang  his 
library  bell,  and  desired  Miss  Aubrey's  maid  to  request 
her  mistress  to  come  down  to  him  there,  as  soon  as  she 
should  be  at  leisure.  He  was  glad  that  the  only  light  in 
the  room  was  that  given  out  by  the  tire,  which  was  not 
very  bright,  and  so  would  in  some  degree  shield  his  fea- 
tures from,  at  all  events,  immediate  scrutiny.  His  heart 
ached  as,  Bhortly  afterwards,  he  heard  Kate's  light  step 
crossing  the  hall.  When  she  entered,  her  eyes  sparkled 
with  vivacity,  and  a  smile  was  on  her  beauteous  cheek. 
Her  dress  was  slightly  disordered,  and  her  hair  half  un- 
curled—  the  results  of  her  sport  with  the  little  ones 
whom  she  had  been  seeing  to  bed. 

11  What  merry  little  things,  to  be  sure !"  she  commenced 
laughingly  —  "I  could  not  get  them  to  lie  still  a  moment 
—  |    pping  their  little  heads  in  and  out  of  the  clothes. 


356  TEN   THOUSAND   A- YEAR. 

A  fine  time  I  shall  have  of  it,  b}'-and-by,  with  Sir  Harry  ! 
for  he  is  to  be  my  tiny  little  bed-fellow,  and  I  dare  say  I 
shall  not  sleep  a  wink  all  night !  —  Why,  Charles,  how 
very  —  very  grave  yon  look  !  "  she  added,  quickly  observ- 
ing his  eye  fixed  moodily  upon  her. 

"  'T  is  you  who  are  so  very  gay,"  he  replied,  endeavor- 
ing to  smile.  "  I  wrant  to  speak  to  you,  dear  Kate,"  he 
commenced  affectionately  —  at  the  same  time  rising  and 
closing  the  door — "  on  a  serious  matter.  I  have  received 
some  letters  to-night " 

Kate  colored  suddenly  and  violently,  and  her  heart 
beat ;  but,  sweet  soul !  she  was  mistaken  —  very,  very 
far  off  the  mark  her  troubled  brother  was  aiming  at. 
"  And,  relying  on  your  strength  of  mind,  I  have  resolved 
to  put  you  at  once  in  possession  of  what  I  myself  know. 
Can  you  bear  bad  news  well,  Kate  1 " 

She  turned  very  pale,  and  drawing  her  chair  nearer  to 
her  brother,  said,  "  Do  not  keep  me  in  suspense,  Charles 

—  I  can  bear  anything  but  suspense  —  that  is  dreadful ! 
What  has  happened  1  Oh  dear,"  she  added,  with  sudden 
alarm,  "  where  are  mamma  and  Agnes  1 "  She  started  to 
her  feet. 

"  I  assure  you  they  are  both  well,  Kate.  My  mother 
is  now  doubtless  asleep,  and  as  well  as  she  ever  was ; 
Agnes  is  in  her  bedroom  —  certainly  much  distressed 
at  the  news  which  I  am  going  " 

"  Oh  why,  Charles,  did  you  tell  anything  distressing  to 
her  ?  "  exclaimed  Miss  Aubrey,  with  an  alarmed  air. 

"  We  came  together  by  surprise,  Kate  !  Perhaps,  too, 
it  would  have  been  worse  to  have  kept  her  in  suspense  ; 
but  she  is  recovering  !  —  I  shall  soon  return  to  her.  And 
now,  my  dear  Kate  —  I  know  your  strong  sense  and  spirit 

—  a  very  great  calamity  hangs  over  us.  Let  you  and 
me? '  he  grasped  her  hands  affectionately,  "  stand  it  stead- 
ily, and  support  those  who  cannot  ! " 


TEX    THOUSAND    A-YEAR.  357 

"  Let  me  at  once  know  all,  Charles.  See  if  I  do  not 
bear  it  as  becomes  your  sister,"  said  she,  with  forced 
calmness. 

"  If  it  should  become  necessary  for  all  of  us  to  retire 
into  obscurity  —  into  humble  obscurity,  dear  Kate  —  how 
do  you  think  you  could  bear  it1?" 

"  If  it  will  be  an  honorable  obscurity  —  nay,  'tis  quite 
impossible  it  can  be  a  (//^honorable  obscurity,"  said  Miss 
Aubrey,  with  a  momentary  flash  of  energy. 

"Never,  never,  Kate!  The  Aubreys  may  lose  every- 
thing on  earth  but  the  jewel  honor,  and  love  for  one 
another  !  " 

•'Let  me  know  all,  Charles:  I  see  that  something  "or 
other  shocking  has  happened,"  said  Miss  Aubrey,  in  a  low 
tune,  with  a  look  of  the  deepest  apprehension. 

"  I  will  tell  you  the  worst,  Kate  —  a  strange  claim  i8 
set  up —  by  one  I  never  heard  of —  to  the  whole  of  the 
property  we  now  enjoy  I " 

Miss  Aubrey  started,  and  the  slight  color  that  remained 
faded  entirely  from  her  cheek.  Both  were  silent  for  very 
nearly  a  minute. 

"  But  is  it  a  true  claim,  Charles  1 "  she  iuquired, 
faintly. 

"  That  remains  to  be  proved.  I  will,  however,  disguise 
nothing  from  you  —  I  have  woful  apprehensions  " 

"  Do  you  mean  to  say  that  Yatton  is  not  ours  ? "  in- 
quired Miss  Aubrey,  catching  her  breath. 

"  So,  alas !  my  dearest  Kate,  it  is  said  !  " 

Miss  Aubrey  looked  bewildered,  and  pressed  her  hand 
to  her  forehead. 

"  How  shocking !  —  shocking  !  —  shocking !  "  she 
gasped  — "What  is  to  become  of  mammal" 

•  ' !  "1  Almighty  will  not  desert  her  in  her  old  age.  He 
will  desert  none  of  us,  if  we  only  trust  in  him,"  said  her 
brother. 


358  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

Miss  Aubrey  remained  gazing  at  him  intently,  and 
continued  perfectly  motionless. 

"  Must  we  then  all  leave  Yatton  1 "  said  she,  faintly, 
after  a  while. 

"  If  this  claim  succeeds  —  but  we  shall  leave  it  together, 
Kate." 

She  threw  her  arms  around  his  neck,  and  wept 
bitterly. 

"  Hush,  hush,  Kate  !  "  said  he,  perceiving  the  increas- 
ing violence  of  her  emotions,  "  restrain  your  feelings  for 
the  sake  of  my  mother  —  and  Agnes." 

His  words  had  the  desired  effect :  the  poor  girl  made 
a  desperate  effort.  Unclasping  her  arms  from  her 
brother's  neck,  she  sat  down  in  her  chair,  breathing  hard, 
and  pressing  her  hand  upon  her  heart.  After  a  few 
minutes'  pause,  she  said  faintly,  "  I  am  better  now.  Do 
tell  me  more,  Charles  !  Let  me  have  something  to  think 
about  —  only  don't  say  anything  about  —  about  —  mam- 
ma and  Agnes  ! "  In  spite  of  herself  a  visible  shudder 
ran  through  her  frame. 

"It  seems,  Kate,"  said  he,  with  all  the  calmness  he 
could  assume  —  "  at  least  they  are  trying  to  prove  — 
that  our  branch  of  the  family  has  succeeded  to  the  prop- 
erty prematurely  —  that  there  is  living  an  heir  of  the 
elder  branch  —  that  his  case  has  been  taken  up  by  pow- 
erful friends;  and  —  let  me  tell  you  the  worst  at  once 
—  even  the  lawyers  consulted  by  Mr.  Parkinson  on  my 
behalf,  take  a  most  alarming  view  of  the  possibilities  of 
the  case  that  may  be  brought  against  us  " 

"  But  is  mamma  provided  for"? "  whispered  Miss  Aubrey, 
almost  inarticulately.  "  When  I  look  at  her  again,  I 
shall  drop  at  her  feet  insensible  ! "    • 

"  No,  no,  Kate,  you  won 't !  Heaven  will  give  you 
strength,"  said  her  brother,  in  a  tremulous  voice.  "  Re- 
member, my  only  sister  —  my  dearest  Kate  !  you  must 


TEX   THOUSAND    A-YKAK.  359 

Bupport    me  in  my  trouble,  as  I  will   support  you  —  we 

will  try  to  support   each   other" 

"We   will — we  will  I"  interrupted    Miss  Aubrey  — 
instantly  checking,  however,  her  rising  excitement. 

••  You  boar  it  bravely,  my  noble  girl !  "  said  Mr,  Aubrey, 
fondly,   after  a  brief  interval  oi'  silence. 

She  turned   from   him   her  head,  and  moved   her    hand 

—  in  deprecation  ot%  expressions  which  might  utterly  un- 
nerve her.  Then  she  convulsively  clasped  her  hands 
over  her  forehead  ;  and,  after  a  minute  or  two,  turned 
towards  him  with  tears  in  her  eyes,  but  tranquillized 
features.     The  Btruggle  had  been  dreadful,  though  brief 

—  her  noble  spirit  had  recovered  itself. 

' T  was  like  some  fair  bark,  in  mortal  conflict  with 

the  black  and  boiling  waters  and  howling  hurricane; 
long  quivering  on  the  brink  of  destruction,  but  at  last 
outliving  the  storm,  righting  itself,  and  suddenly  gliding 
into  safe   and   tranquil  waters! 

The  distressed  brother  and  sister  sat  conversing  for  a 
time,  frequently  in  tears,  but  with  infinitely  greater 
calmness  and  firmness  than  could  have  been  expected. 
They  agreed  that  Dr.  Tatham  should  very  early  in  the 
morning  be  sent  for,  and  implored  to  take  upon  himself 
the  bitter  duty  of  breaking  the  matter  as  gradually  and 
safely  as  possible  to  Mrs.  Aubrey ;  its  effects  upon  whom, 
children  anticipated  with  the  most  vivid  apprehen- 
U  >n.  They  both  considered  that  an  event  of  such  pub- 
licity ami  importance  could  not  possibly  remain  long 
unknown  to  her,  and  that  it  was,  on  the  whole,  better 
that  the  dreaded  communication  should  be  got  over  as 
soon  as  possible.  They  then  retired  —  Kate  to  a  sleep- 
illow,  and  her  brother  to  spend  a  greater  portion  of 
the  night  in  attempt  to  Boothe  and  console  his  suffering 
wife;  each  "f  them  having  first  knelt  in  humble  rever- 
ence, and   poured  forth  the  breathings  of  a  stricken  and 


360  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAK. 

bleeding  heart,  before  Him  who  hath  declared  that  he  is 
ever  present  to  hear  and  to  answer  prayer. 

Ah  !  who  can  tell  what  a  day  or  an  hour  may  bring 
forth  1 


11  It  won't  kindle  —  not  a  bit  on 't  —  it 's  green  and  full 
o'  sap.  Go  out,  and  get  us  a  log  that  'a  dry  and  old, 
George  —  and  let's  try  to  have  a  bit  of  a  blaze  in  t'  ould 
chimney,  this  bitter  night,"  said  Isaac  Tonson,  the  game- 
keeper at  Yatton,  to  the  good-natured  landlord  of  the 
Aubrey  Arms,  the  little  —  and  only  —  inn  of  the  village. 
The  suggestion  was  instantly  attended  to. 

"  How  Peter  's  a-feathering  of  his  geese  to  night,  to  be 
sure  !  "  exclaimed  the  landlord  on  his  return,  shaking  the 
snow  off  his  coat,  and  la}dng  on  the  fire  a  great  dry  old 
log  of  wood,  which  seemed  very  acceptable  to  the  hungry 
flames,  for  they  licked  it  cordially  the  moment  it  was 
placed  among  them,  and  there  was  very  soon  given  out  a 
cheerful  blaze.  'T  was  a  snug  room.  The  brick  floor  was 
covered  with  fresh  sand  ;  and  on  a  few  stools  and  benches, 
with  a  table  in  the  middle,  on  which  stood  a  large  can  and 
ale-glasses,  with  a  plate  of  tobacco,  sat  some  half-dozen 
men,  enjoying  their  pipe  and  glass.  In  the  chimney  cor- 
ner sat  Thomas  Dickons,  the  faithful  under-bailiff  of  Mr. 
Aubrey,  a  big  broad-shouldered,  middle-aged  man,  with  a 
hard-featured  face  and  a  phlegmatic  air.  In  the  opposite 
corner  sat  the  little  grizzle-headed  clerk  and  sexton,  old 
Hallelujah  —  (as  he  was  called,  but  his  real  name  was 
Jonas  Higgs.)  Beside  him  sat  Pumpkin,  the  gardener 
at  the  Hall,  a  very  frequent  guest  at  the  Aubrey  Arms 
o'  nights  —  always  attended  by  Hector,  the  large  New- 
foundland dog  already  spoken  of,  and  who  was  now  lying 
stretched  on  the  floor  at  Pumpkin's  feet,  his  nogo  resting 
on  his  fore  feet,  and  his  eyes,  with  great  gravity,  watching 


TEN    THOUSAND   A-YEAK.  361 

the  motions  of  a  skittish  kitten  under  the  table.  Opposite 
to  him  sat  Touson  the  gamekeeper  —  a  thin,  wiry,  beetle- 
browed  fellow,  with  eyes  like  a  ferret ;  and  there  were 
also  one  or  two  farmers,  who  lived  in  the  village. 

"  Let 's  ha'  another  ean  o'  ale,  afore  ye  sit  down,"  said 
Touson,  "we  ean  do  with  another  half  gallon,  I'm  think- 
in-  :  "  This  order  also  was  quickly  attended  to  ;  and  then 
the  landlord,  having  seen  to  the  door,  fastened  the  shut- 
ters close,  and  stirred  the  crackling  tire,  took  his  place  on 
a  vacant  stool,  and  resumed  his  pipe. 

"So  she  do  take  a  very  long  grave,  Jonas  1"  inquired 
Dickons  of  the  sexton,  after  some  little  pause. 

"  Ay,  Mr.  Dickons,  a'  think  she  do,  t'  ould  girl !  I  al- 
thougbt  she  would  —  I  used  to  measure  her  (as  one 
may  say)  in  my  mind,  whenever  I  saw  her!  'T  is  a  reg- 
'lar  man9*  size,  I  warrant  you  ;  and  when  parson  saw  it, 
a'  said,  he  thought 't  were  too  big ;  but  I  axed  his  pardon, 
and  said  I  had  n't  been  sexton  for  thirty  years  without 
knowing  my  business  —  he,  he!" 

"  I  suppose,  Jonas,  you  man  ha'  seen  her  walking  about 
i'  t'  village,  in  your  time  !  —  Were  she  such  a  big-looking 
woman?"  inquired  Pumpkin,  as  he  shook  the  ashes  out 
of  his  pipe,  and  replenished  it. 

"  Forty  year  ago  I  did  use  to  see  her  —  she  were  then 
an  old  woman,  wi'  white  hair,  and  leaned  on  a  stick  —  I 
never  thought  she'd  a' lasted  so  long,"  replied  Higgs, 
emptying  his  glass. 

"  She  've  had  a  pretty  long  spell  on  %"  quoth  Dickons, 
after  slowly  emptying  his  mouth  of  smoke. 

"  A  hundred  and  two,"  replied  the  sexton;  "  so  saith 

-ffin-plate — a'  see'd  it  to-day." 
••  What  were  her  name  1 "  inquired  Touson  —  "  /  never 
knew  her  by  any  name  but  Blind  Bess." 

"  Her  name  be  Elizabeth  Crabtree  on  the  coffin,"  replied 
Higga ;  "  and  she  be  to  be  buried  to-morrow." 


362  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

"She  were  a  strange  old  woman,"  said  Hazel,  one  of 
the  farmers,  as  he  took  down  one  of  the  oatcakes  hanging- 
overhead  ;  and  breaking  off  a  piece,  held  it  with  the  tongs 
before  the  fire  to  toast,  and  then  put  it  into  his  ale. 

"Ay,  she  were,"  quoth  Pumpkin  ;  "I  wonder  what  she 
thinks  o'  such  things  ?ww  —  maybe  —  God  forgive  me!  — 
she  's  paying  dear  for  her  tricks  ! " 

"  Tut,  Pumpkin,"  said  Tonson,  "  let  t'  ould  creature  rest 
in  her  grave,  where  she's  going  to,  peaceably !" 

"  Ay,  Master  Tonson,"  quoth  the  clerk,  in  his  reading- 
desk  twang  —  "  There  be  no  knowledge,  nor  tvisdom,  nor 
device  !  " 

" 'T is  very  odd,"  observed  Pumpkin,  "but  this  dog  that 's 
lying  at  my  feet  never  could  a'  bear  going  past  her  cot- 
tage late  o'  nights  —  hang  me  if  he  could  ;  and  the  night 
she  died  —  Lord  !  you  should  have  heard  the  howl  Hector 
gave  —  and  a'  did  n't  then  know  she  were  gone  —  it 's  as 
true  as  the  gospel  —  it  is  —  actually  !  " 

"  No  !  but  were  't  really  so  1  "  inquired  Dickons  — 
several  of  the  others  taking  their'  pipes  out  of  their 
mouths,  and  looking  earnestly  at  Pumpkin. 

"  I  did  n't  half  like  it,  I  can  tell  you,"  quoth  Pumpkin. 

"  Ha,  ha,  ha  !  — ha,  ha  !  "  laughed  the  gamekeeper  — 

11  Ay,  marry,  you  may  laugh,"  quoth  Pumpkin,  "  but 
I  '11  stake  half-a-gallon  o'  ale  you  dare  n't  go  by  yourself 
to  the  cottage  where  she  's  lying  —  noiv,  mind  —  i'  the 
dark." 

"  /  HI  do  it,"  quoth  Higgs,  eagerly,  preparing  to  lay 
down  his  pipe. 

"  No,  no  —  thou  *rt  quite  used  to  dead  folk  —  't  is  quite 
in  thy  line  !"  replied  Pumpkin  — and,  after  a  little  faint 
drollery,  silence  ensued  for  some  moments. 

"  Bess  dropped  off  sudden  like,  at  the  last,  did  n't 
she1?"    inquired  the  landlord. 

"  She  went  out,  as  they  say,  like  the  snuff  of  a  candle," 


TEX    THOUSAND    A-YEAR.  363 

replied  Jobbing,  one  of  the  farmers  ;  "  no  one  were  with 

her  but  my  Missis  at  the  time.  The  night  afore,  she 
had  took  to  the  rattles  all  of  a  sudden.  My  Sail  (that's 
•  ber  this  long  time,  by  Madam's  orders,)  says  old 
B  sa  i  i  good  deal  shaken  by  a  ehap  from  London, 
which  cam'   down  about   a   week  afore  Christmas." 

"  -Vv«  fty>"  Quoth  one,  "  1  've  heard  o'  that  —  what  was 
it  I — what  passed  atwixt  them  I" 

"Why,  a*  don't  well  know  —  but  he  seemed  to  know 
Bummat  about  t'  ould  girl's  connections,  and  he  had  a  book, 
and  wrote  down  something,  and  he  axed  her,  so  Sail  do 
tell  me,  such  a  many  things  about  old  people,  and  things 
that   are  long  gone   by!" 

"  What  were  the  use  on 't  I "  inquired  Dickons  ;  "  for  Bess 
hath  been  silly  this  ten  years,  to  my  sartin  knowledge." 

••Why.  a'  couldn't  tell.  He  seemed  very  'quisitive, 
too,  about  t'  ould  creature's  Bible  and  prayer-book  (she 
kept  them  in  that  ould  bag  of  hers)  —  and  Sail  said  she 
had  talked  a  good  deal  to  the  chap  in  her  mumbling  way, 
and  seemed  to  know  some  folk  he  asked  her  about.  And 
Sail  saith  she  hath  been,  in  a  manner,  dismal  ever  since, 
and  often  a-crying  and  talking  to  herself.'' 

"  I  've  heard,"  said  the  landlord,  "  that  squire  and  par- 
son  were  wi'  her  on  Christmas-day  —  and  that  she  talked 
a  deal  o'  strange  things,  and  that  the  squire  did  seem,  as 
it  were,  struck  a  little,  you  know  —  struck,  like  !" 

"  Why,  so  my  Sail  do  say ;  but  it  may  be  all  her  own 
head,"  replied  Jobbins. 

Here  a  pause  took  place. 

"  Madam,"  said  the  sexton,  "  hath  given  orders  for  an 
uncommon  decent  burying  to-morrow." 

"Well,  a'  never  thought  any  wrong  of  ould  Bess,  for 
my  part,"  said  one  —  and  another  —  and  another;  and 
they  smoked  their  pipes  for  some  short  time  in  silence. 

"  Talking  o'  strangers  from  London,"  said  the  sexton, 


364  TEN   THOUSAND   A- YEAR. 

presently  —  "who  do  know  anything  o'  them  two  chaps 
that  were  at  church  last  Sunday  1  Two  such  peacock 
chaps  I  never  see'd  afore  in  my  time  —  and  grinning 
all  sarvice-time  !  the  heathen  !  " 

"  Ay,  I  '11  tell  you  something  of  'em,"  said  Hazel  —  a 
big  broad-shouldered  farmer,  who  plucked  his  pipe  out  of 
his  mouth  with  sudden  energy  —  "  They  're  a  brace  o' 
good  ones,  to  be  sure,  ha,  ha !  Some  week  or  ten  days 
ago,  as  I  were  a-coming  across  the  field  leading  into  the 
lane  behind  the  church,  I  see'd  these  same  two  chaps,  and 
on  coming  nearer,  (they  not  seeing  me  for  the  hedge,) 
Lord  bless  me  \  would  you  believe  it  1  —  if  they  was  n't 
a-teasing  my  daughter  Jenny,  -that  were  coming  along  wi' 
some  physic  from  the  doctor  for  my  old  woman  !  One  of 
'em  seemed  a-going  to  put  his  arm  round  her  neck  and 
t'  other  came  close  to  her  on  t'  other  side,  a-talking  to  her 
and  pushing  her  about."  Here  a  young  farmer,  who  had 
but  seldom  spoken,  took  his  pipe  out  of  his  mouth,  and 
exclaiming,  "  Lord  bless  me!"  sat  listening  with  his  mouth 
wide  open.  "Well,"  continued  the  former,  "a'  came  into 
the  road  behind  'em,  without  their  seeing  me  ;  and  "  — 
(here  he  stretched  out  a  thick,  rigid,  muscular  arm,  and 
clinched  his  teeth) — "a'  got  hold  of  each  by  the  collar, 
and  one  of  'em  I  shook  about,  and  gave  him  a  kick  i'  the 
breech  that  sent  him  spinning  a  yard  or  two  on  the  road, 
he  clapping  his  hand  behind  him,  and  crying,  to  be  sure 
—  *  You  '11  smart  for  this  —  a  good  hundred  pound  dam- 
ages ! '  or  summat  o'  that  sort.  T'  other  dropped  on  his 
knees,  and  begged  for  mercy;  so  a' just  spit  in  his  face, 
and  flung  him  under  t'  hedge,  telling  him  if  he  stirred 
till  I  were  out  o'  sight,  I  'd  crack  his  skull  for  him  ;  and 
so  I  would  !  "  Here  the  wrathful  speaker  pushed  his  pipe 
again  between  his  lips,  and  began  puffing  away  with  great 
energy  ;  while  he  who  had  appeared  to  take  so  great  an 
interest  in  the  story,  and  who  was  the  very  man  who  had 


TEN    THOUSAND   A-YEAK.  obo 

flown  to  the  rescue  of  Miss  Aubrey,  when  she  seemed  on 
the  point  of  being  similarly  treated,  told  that  circumstance 
exactly  as  it  occurred,  amid  the  silent  but  excited  won- 
der of  those  present — all  of  whom,  at  its  close,  uttered 
vehement  execrations,  and  intimated  the  summary  and  sav- 
age punishment  which  the  cowardly  rascal  would  have  ex- 
perienced at  the  hands  of  each  and  every  one  of  them, 
had  they  oome  across  him. 

"  I  reckon,"  said  the  landlord,  as  soon  as  the  swell  had 
a  little  subsided,  "they  must  be  the  two  chaps  that  put 
up  here,  some  time  ago,  for  an  hour  or  so.  You  should 
ha1  seen  'em  get  on  and  off  the  saddle  —  that 's  all !  Why, 
a'  laughed  outright  !  The  chap  with  the  hair  under  his 
chin  got  on  upon  the  wrong  side,  and  t'  other  seemed  as  if 
he  thought  his  beast  would  a'  bit  him  1'* 

"  Ha,  ha,  ha  !  "  laughed  all. 

••  I  thought  they  'd  a'  both  got  a  fall  before  they  'd  gone 
a  dozen  yards  !  " 

"  They  've  taken  a  strange  fancy  to  my  churchyard," 
said  the  sexton,  setting  down  his  glass,  and  then  preparing 
to  fill  his  pipe  again  ;  "  they  've  been  looking  about  among 
'em  —  among  t'  ould  gravestones,  up  behind  t'  ould  yew- 
tree  yonder;  and  one  of  them  writ  something,  now  and 
then,  in  a  book;  so  they're  book-writers,  in  coorse  ! " 

*•  That 's  scholars,  I  reckon,"  quoth  Dickons;  "but  rot 
the  laming  of  such  chaps  as  them  !  " 

u  I  wonder  if  they  '11  put  a  picture  o'  the  Hall  in 
their  book,"  quoth  the  sexton.  "  They  axed  a  many 
questions  about  the  people  up  there,  especially  about  the 
squire's  father,  and  some  ould  folk,  whose  names  I  knew 
when  they  spoke  of  'em  —  but  I  had  n't  heard  o'  them  for 
this  forty  year.  And  one  of  'em  (he  were  the  shortest. 
and  such  a  chap,  to  be  sure  !  — just  like  the  monkey  that 
were  dressed  i'  man's  clothes,  last  Grilston  fair)  talked 
uncommon  line  about  young  Miss  " 


366  TEN   THOUSAND    A-YEAR. 

"  If  /  *d  a'  heard  him  tak'  her  name  into  his  dirty 
mouth,  his  teeth  should  a'  gone  after  it  !  "  said  Tonson. 

"  Lord  !  he  did  n't  say  any  harm  —  only  silly  like  — 
and  t'  other  seemed  now  and  then  not  to  like  his  going  on 
so.  The  little  one  said  Miss  were  a  lonely  gal,  or  some- 
thing like  that  —  and  hoped  they  'd  become  by-and-by 
better  friends  —  ah,  ha  !  " 

"  What  !  wi'  that  chap  1 "  said  Pumpkin  —  and  he 
looked  as  if  he  were  meditating  putting  the  little  sex- 
ton up  the  chimney,  for  the  mere  naming  of  such  a 
thing. 

"  I  reckon  they're  fro'  London,  and  brought  toon  tricks 
wi'  'em  —  for  I  never  heard  o'  such  goings  on  as  theirs 
down  here  afore,"  said  Tonson. 

"  One  of  'em  —  him  that  axed  me  all  the  questions, 
and  wrote  i'  t'  book,  seemed  a  sharp  enough  chap  in  his 
way ;  but  I  can't  say  much  for  the  little  one,"  said 
Higgs.  "  Lud,  I  could  n't  hardly  look  in  his  face  for 
laughing,  he  seemed  such  a  fool !  —  He  had  a  riding- 
whip  wi'  a  silver  head,  and  stood  smacking  his  legs 
(you  should  ha'  seen  how  tight  his  clothes  was  on  his 
legs  —  I  warrant  you,  Tim  Timpkins  never  see'd  such  a 
thing,  I  '11  be  sworn)  all  the  while,  as  if  a'  liked  to  hear 
the  sound  of  it." 

"  If  I  'd  a'  been  beside  him,"  said  Hazel,  "  I  'd  a'  saved 
him  that  trouble  —  only  I  'd  a'  laid  it  into  another  part 
of  him  ! " 

"  Ha,  ha,  ha  !  "  they  laughed  —  and  presently  passed 
on  to  other  matters. 

"  Hath  the  squire  been  doing  much  lately  in  Parlia- 
ment 1 "  inquired  the  sexton,  of  Dickons. 

"  Why,  yes  —  he  's  trying  hard  to  get  that  new  road 
made  from  Harkley  bridge  to  Hilton." 

"  Ah,  that  would  save  a  good  four  mile,  if  a'  could  man- 
age it  !  "  said  one  of  the  farmers. 


TEN   THOUSAND    A-YEAK.  367 

"  I  hear  the  Papists  are  trying  to  get  the  upper  hand 
again  —  which  the  Lud  forbid!"  said  the  sexton,  after 
another  pause. 

"The  squire  hath  lately  made  a  Bpeech  in  that  matter, 
that  hath  finished  them,"  said  Dickons,  in  a  grave  and 
authoritative  tone. 

••What  would  they  be  after  I"  inquired  the  landlord 
of  Dickons,  of  whom,  in  common  with  all  present,  he 
thought  great  things.  "They  say  they  wants  nothing 
but  what's  their  own,  and  liberty,  and  that  like" 

"  If  thou  wert  a  shepherd,  Master  Higgs,"  replied  Dick- 
ons, "  and  wert  to  be  asked  by  ten  or  a  dozen  wolves  to 
let  them  in  among  thy  flock  of  sheep,  they  saying  how 
quiet  and  kind  they  would  be  to  'em  —  would'st  let 
'era  in,  or  keep  'em  out  —  eh 7" 

••Ay,  ay  —  that  be  it  —  'tis  as  true  as  gospel!"  said 
the  clerk. 

"So  you  a'n't  to  have  that  old  sycamore  down,  after 
all,  Master  Dickons'?  "  inquired  Tonson,  after  a  pause  in 
the  conversation. 

"No  j  Miss  hath  carried  the  day  against  the  squire  and 
Mr.  Waters  ;  and  there  stands  the  old  tree,  and  it  hath 
to  be  looked  to  better  than  ever  it  were  afore  ! " 

"Why  hath  Miss  taken  such  a  fancy  to  it?  'T  is  an 
old  crazy  thing  !  " 

"  If  thou  hadst  been  there  when  she  did  beg,  as  I  may 
aay,  its  life,"  replied  Dickons,  with  a  little  energy  —  "and 
hadst  seen  her,  and  heard  her  voice,  that  be  as  smooth  as 
cream,  thou  would'st  never  have  forgotten  it,  I  can  tell 
thee  ! " 

"  There  is  n't  a  more  beautiful  lady  i'  t'  county,  I  reckon, 
than  the  squire's  sister  ] "  inquired  the  sexton. 

"No,  nor  in  all  England:  if  there  be,  I'll  lay  down 
twenty  pounds  !  " 

•  And  where 's  to  be  found  a  young  lady  that  do  go 


368  TEN    THOUSAND   A-YEAE. 

about  i'  t'  village  like  she  ?  —  She  were  wi'  Phoebe  Wil- 
liams t  'other  night,  all  through  the  snow,  and  i'  t'  dark." 

"  If  I  M  only  laid  hands  on  that  chap !  "  interrupted 
the  young  farmer,  her  rescuer. 

"  I  wonder  she  do  not  choose  some  one  to  be  married 
to,  up  in  London,"  said  the  landlord. 

"She'll  be  having  some  delicate  high  quality  chap,  I 
reckon,  one  o'  these  fine  days,"  said  Hazel. 

"  She  will  be  a  dainty  dish,  truly,  for  whomever  God 
gives  her  to,"  quoth  Dickons. 

"Ay,  she  will,"  said  more  than  one,  in  an  earnest  tone. 

"Now,  to  my  mind,"  said  Tonson,  "saving  your  pres- 
ence, Master  Dickons,  I  know  not  but  young  Madam  be 
more  to  my  taste;  she  be  in  a  manner  somewhat  fuller  — 
plumper-like,  and  her  skin  be  so  white,  and  her  hair  as 
black  as  a  raven's." 

"  There  's  not  another  two  such  women  to  be  found 
in  the  whole  world,"  said  Dickons,  authoritatively.  Here 
Hector  suddenly  rose  up,  and  went  to  the  door,  where  he 
stood  snuffing  in  an  inquisitive  manner. 

"  Now,  what  do  that  dog  hear,  I  wonder  1 "  quoth 
Pumpkin,  curiously,  stooping  forward. 

11  Blind  Bess,"  replied  Tonson,  winking  his  eye,  and 
laughing.  Presently  there  was  a  sharp  rapping  at  the 
door ;  which  the  landlord  opened,  and  let  in  one  of  the 
servants  from  the  Hall,  his  clothes  white  with  snow,  his 
face  nearly  as  white,  with  manifest  agitation. 

"  Why,  man,  what 's  the  matter  1 "  inquired  Dickons, 
startled  by  the  man's  appearance.  "Art  frightened  at 
anything  1 " 

"  Oh,  Lord  !  oh,  Lord  !  "  he  commenced. 

"  What  is  it,  man !  Art  drunk  %  —  or  mad  1  —  or  fright- 
ened 1  Take  a  drop  o'  drink,"  said  Tonson.  But  the  man 
refused  it. 

"  Oh,  Lord  !  —  There  's  woful  work  at  the  Hall ! " 


TEN    THOUSAND    A-YEAK.  369 

"  What  's  the  matter  ] "  cried  all  at  once,  rising  and 
Standing  round   the   new-comer. 

"  If  thou   be'st   drunk,   John,"  said   Dickons,  sternly, 

"there's  a   way   v{  sobering  thee  —  mind   that.'" 

MOh,  Master  Dickons,  I  don't  know  what's  come  to 
me,  for  grief  and  fright  !  The  squire,  they  do  say,  and 
all  of  us,  are  to  be  turned  out  o'  Yatton  !  " 

"  What  .'"  exclaimed  all  in  a  breath. 

'•  There  's  some  one  else  lays  claim  to  it.  We  must  all 
go  !  Oh,  Lud  !  oh,  Lud  !  "  2so  one  spoke  for  a  while  ; 
and  consternation   was  written  on  every  face. 

"Sit  thee  down  here,  John,"  said  Dickons  at  length, 
u  and  let  us  hear  what  thou  hast  to  say  —  or  thou  wilt 
have  us  all  be  going  up  in  a  body  to  the  Hall." 

Having  forced  on  him  part  of  a  glass  of  ale,  he  began, 
—  ••  There  hath  been  plainly  mischief  brewing,  somewhere, 
this  many  days,  as  I  could  tell  by  the  troubled  face  o'  t' 
squire  ;  but  he  kept  it  to  himself.  Lawyer  Parkinson 
and  another  have  been  latterly  coming  in  chaises  from 
London  ;  and  last  night  the  squire  got  a  letter  that  seems 
to  have  finished  all.  Such  trouble  there  were  last  night 
wi'  t'  squire,  and  young  Madam  and  Miss  !  And  to-day  the 
parson  came,  and  were  a  long  while  alone  with  old  Madam, 
who  hath  since  had  a  stroke,  or  a  fit,  or  something  of 
that  like,  (the  doctors  have  been  there  all  day  from  Grils- 
ton,)  and  likewise  young  Madam  hath  taken  to  her  bed, 
and  is  ill.  Oh,  Lud  !  oh,  Lud  !  Such  work  there  be 
going  on  !  " 

"And  what  of  the  squire  and  Miss  1"  inquired  some 
one,  after  all  had  maintained  a  long  silence. 

'•  Oh,  't  would  break  your  heart  to  see  them,"  said  the 
man,  dolefully  :  "  they  be  both  pale  as  death  :  he  so 
dreadful  sorrowful,  but  quiet,  like,  and  she  now  and  then 
wringing  her  hands,  and  both  of  them  going  from  the 
bedroom  of  old  Madam  to  young  Madam's.  Nay,  an' 
vol.  i.  —  24 


370  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

there  had  been  half  a  dozen  deaths  i'  t'  house,  it  could 
not  be  worse.  Neither  the  squire  or  Miss  hath  touched 
food  the  whole  day  ! " 

There  was,  in  truth,  not  a  dry  eye  in  the  room,  nor 
one  whose  voice  did  not  seem  somewhat  obstructed  with 
his  emotions. 

"  Who  told  thee  all  this  about  the  squire's  losing  the 
estate  1 "  inquired  Dickons,  with  mingled  trepidation  and 
sternness. 

"  We  heard  of  it  but  an  hour  or  so  agone.  Mr.  Park- 
inson (it  seems  by  the  squire's  orders)  told  Mr.  Waters, 
and  he  told  it  to  us ;  saying  as  how  it  was  useless  to 
keep  such  a  thing  secret,  and  that  we  might  as  well  all 
know  the  occasion  of  so  much  trouble." 

"  Who 's  to  ha'  it  then,  instead  of  the  squire  1 "  at 
length  inquired  Tonson,  in  a  voice  half  choked  with  rage 
and  grief. 

"  Lord  only  knows  at  present.  But  whoever 'tis,  there 
is  n't  one  of  us  sarvents  but  will  go  with  the  squire  and 
his  —  if  it  be  even  to  prison,  that  I  can  tell  ye  !  " 

"I'm  Squire  Aubrey's  gamekeeper,"  quoth  Tonson, 
his  eye  kindling  as  his  countenance  darkened,  "  and  no 
one's  else !  It  shall  go  hard  if  any  one  else  here  hath  a 
game  "  — 

"  But  if  there  's  law  in  the  land,  sure  the  justice  must 
be  wi'  t'  squire  —  he  and  his  family  have  had  it  so 
long  1 "  said  one  of  the  farmers. 

"  I  '11  tell  you  what,  masters,"  said  Pumpkin,  mysteri- 
ously, "I  shall  be  somewhat  better  pleased  when  Jonas 
here  hath  got  that  old  creature  Bess  safe  underground  !  " 

"  Blind  Bess  1 "  exclaimed  Tonson,  with  a  very  serious, 
not  to  say  disturbed,  countenance.  "I  wonder  —  sure  ! 
sure  !  that  ould  witch  can  have  had  no  hand  in  all  this 
eh?" 

"  Poor  old  soul,  not  she  !     There  be  no  such  things  as 


TEN   THOUSAND    A-YEAK.  371 

witches  now-a-days,"  exclaimed  Jonas.  "Not  she,  I  war- 
rant me  !  She  hath  been  ever  befriended  by  the  squire's 
family.     She  do  it !  " 

••  The  sooner  we  get  that  old  woman  underground,  for 

all  that,  the  better,  say  I  !  ,;  qnoth  Tonson,  significantly. 

"  The  parson  hath  a  choice  sermon  on  '  The  Flying 
away  of  Riches,'  "  said  lliggs,  in  a  quaint.  Bad  manner; 
'•'tis  to  be  hoped  that  he'll  preach  from  it  next 
Sunday  !  " 

S  n  after  this,  the  little  party  dispersed,  each  op- 
pressed with  greater  grief  and  amazement  than  he  had 
ever  known  before.  Bad  news  flies  swiftly  —  and  that 
which  had  just  come  from  the  Hall,  within  a  very  few 
hours  of  its  having  been  told  at  the  Aubrey  Arms,  had 
spread  grief  and  consternation  among  high  and  low  for 
many  miles  round  Yatton. 


372  TEN   THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 


CHAPTER  X. 

Would  you  have  believed  it  1  Notwithstanding  all  that 
had  happened  between  Titmouse  and  Tag-rag,  they  posi- 
tively got  reconciled  to  one  another  —  a  triumphant  result 
of  the  astute  policy  of  Mr.  Gammon.  As  soon  as  he  had 
heard  Titmouse's  infuriated  account  of  his  ignominious 
expulsion  from  Satin  Lodge,  he  burst  into  a  fit  of  hearty 
but  gentle  laughter,  which  at  length  subsided  into  an  in- 
ward chuckle  which  lasted  the  rest  of  the  day  \  and  was 
occasioned,  first,  by  gratification  at  the  impression  which 
his  own  sagacity  had  evidently  produced  upon  the  power- 
ful mind  of  Titmouse ;  secondly,  by  an  exquisite  appreci- 
ation of  the  mingled  meanness  and  stupidity  of  Tag-rag. 
I  do  not  mean  it  to  be  understood,  that  Titmouse  had 
given  Mr.  Gammon  such  a  terse  and  clear  account  of  the 
matter  as  I  imagine  myself  to  have  given  to  the  reader  ; 
but  still  he  told  quite  enough  to  put  Mr.  Gammon  in  full 
possession  of  the  true  state  of  the  case.  Good  :  but  then 
—  instantly  reflected  Gammon  —  what  are  we  now  to  do 
with  Titmouse  1  —  where  was  that  troublesome  little  ape 
to  be  caged,  till  it  suited  the  purposes  of  his  proprietors 
(as  Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon,  and  Snap  might  surely  be 
called,  for  they  had  caught  him,  however  they  might  fail 
to  tame  him)  to  let  him  loose  upon  society,  to  amuse  and 
astonish  it  by  his  antics  1  —  That  was  the  question  occu- 
pying the  thoughts  of  Mr.  Gammon,  while  his  calm,  clear, 
gray  eye  was  fixed  upon  Titmouse,  apparently  very  at- 
tentive to  what  he  was  saying.  That  gentleman  had 
first  told  the  story  of  his  wrongs  to  Snap,  who  instantly, 


TEN   THOUSAND    A.-YEAB.  373 

rubbing  bis  hands,  suggested  an  indictment  at  the  Clerk- 
enwell  sessions  —  an  idea  which  infinitely  delighted  Tit- 
mouse, but  was  somewhat  Bternly  "  pooh-poohed!  "  by  Mr, 

Gammon  as  Boon  as  he  heard  oi'  it,  — Snap  thereat  shrug 
his  sh.»nlders  with  a  disconcerted  air,  hut  a  bitter 
sneer  upon  his  sharp,  hard  face.  Like  many  men  of  little 
hut  active  minds,  early  drilled  to  particular  and  petty 
callings,  Snap  was  equal  to  the  mechanical  conduct  of 
business  —  the  mere  working  of  the  machinery  —  but,  as 
the  phrase  is,  could  never  see  an  inch  beyond  his  nose 
Every  little  conjuncture  of  circumstances  which  admitted 
of  litigation,  at  once  suggested  its  expediency,  without  ref- 
erence to  other  considerations,  or  connection  with,  or  sub- 
ordination to,  any  general  purpose  or  plan  of  action.  A 
creature  of  small  impulses,  he  had  no  idea  of  foregoing 
a  momentary  advantage  to  secure  an  ulterior  object  of 
importance  —  which,  in  fact,  he  could  not  keep  for  a 
moment  before  his  thoughts,  so  as  to  have  any  influence 
on  his  movements.  What  a  different  man,  now,  was 
Gammon  ! 

To  speak  after  the  manner  of  physiologists,  several  of 
my  characters  —  Titmouse,  Tag-rag,    (with   his  amiable 
wife   and   daughter,)    Huckaback,    Snap,   and   old   Quirk 
himself  —  may  be  looked  on  as  reptiles  of  a  low  order  in 
the  scale  of  being,   whose  simple  structures  almost  one 
dash  of  the  knife  would  suffice  to  lay  thoroughly  open. 
h  >n,  however,  I  look  upon  as  of  a  much  higher  order ; 
j  a  far  more  complicated  structure,  adapted  to 
the  discharge  of  superior  functions;  and  who,  consequent- 
ly, requireth  a  more  careful  dissection.     But  let  it  not  be 
supposed  that  I  have  yet  done  with  any  of  my  characters. 
mmon  saw  that  Tag-rag,  under  proper  management, 
might  be  made  \cvy  useful,      lie  was  a  moneyed  man  ;  a 
selfish  man;  and,  after  his  sort,  an  ambitious  man.      lie 
had  an  only  child,  a  daughter,  and  if  Titmouse  and  he 


374  TEN    THOUSAND   A- YEAR. 

could  only  be  by  any  means  once  more  brought  together, 
and  a  firm  friendship  cemented  between  them,  Gammon 
saw  several  very  profitable  uses  to  which  such  an  intimacy 
might  be  turned,  in  the  happening  of  any  of  several  con- 
templated contingencies.  In  the  event,  for  instance,  of 
larger  outlays  of  money  being  required  than  suited  the 
convenience  of  the  firm  —  could  not  Tag-rag  be  easily 
brought  to  accommodate  his  future  son-in-law  of  £10,000 
a-year  1  Suppose  that,  after  all,  their  case  should  break 
down  and  all  their  pains,  exertions,  and  expenditure  be 
utterly  thrown  away  !  Now,  if  Tag-rag  could  be  quietly 
brought,  some  fine  day,  to  the  point  of  either  making  an 
actual  advance,  or  becoming  security  for  Titmouse  —  ah  ! 
that  would  do  —  that  would  do,  said  both  Quirk  and 
Gammon.  But  then  Titmouse  was  a  very  unsafe  instru- 
ment—  an  incalculable  fool,  and  might  commit  himself 
too  far ! 

"You  forget,  Gammon,"  said  old  Mr.  Quirk,  "I  don't 
fear  this  girl  of  Tag-rag's  —  because  only  let  Titmouse 
see  —  hem,"  he  suddenly  paused,  and  looked  a  little 
confused. 

"  To  be  sure  —  I  see,"  replied  Gammon,  quietly,  and 
the  thing  passed  off.  "If  either  Miss  Quirk  or  Miss 
Tag-rag  becomes  Mrs.  Titmouse,"  thought  he,  "  I  am  not 
the  man  I  take  myself  for." 

A  few  days  after  Titmouse's  expulsion  from  Satin  Lodge, 
without  his  having  ever  gone  near  Tag-rag's  premises  in 
Oxford  Street,  or  in  short,  seen  or  heard  anything  about 
him,  or  any  one  connected  with  him,  Titmouse  removed 
to  small  but  very  respectable  lodgings  in  the  neighborhood 
of  Hatton  Garden,  provided  for  him  by  Mr.  Quirk.  Mrs. 
Squallop  was  quite  affected  while  she  took  leave  of  Tit- 
mouse, who  gave  her  son  a  penny  to  take  his  two  boxes 
down-stairs  to  the  hackney-coach  drawn  up  opposite  to 
the  entrance  of  Closet  Court. 


TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR.  375 

"  I  'vo  always  felt  like  a  mother  towards  you,  sir,  in  my 
humble  way,"  said  Mrs.  Squallop,  in  a  very  respectful 
maimer,  and  oourtesying  profoundly. 

-A  —  1  've  not  got  any  —  a  —  change  by  me,  my  good 
woman,"  said  Titmouse,  with  a  fine  air,  as  he  drew  on  his 
white  kid  -love. 

••  Lord,  Mr.  Titmouse!  "  said  the  woman,  almost  burst- 
ing into  tears,  "  I  was  n't  asking  for  money,  neither  for 
me  nor  mine  —  only  one  can't  help,  as  it  were,  feeling  at 
parting  with  an  old  lodger,  you  know,  sir'7  — 

"Ah  —  ya  —  as  —  and  all  that  !  Well,  my  good  woman, 
good-day,  good-day  !  "  quoth  Titmouse,  with  an  air  of  lan- 
guid indifference. 

11  Good-by,  sir  —  God  bless  you,  sir,  now  you  're  going 
to  be  a  rich  man  !  —  Excuse  me,  sir."  —  And  she  seized 
his  hand  and  shook  it. 

"  You  're  a  —  devilish  —  impudent  —  woman  —  'pon 
my  soul !  "  exclaimed  Titmouse,  his  features  filled  with 
amazement  at  the  presumption  of  which  she  had  been 
guilty  ;  and  he  strode  down  the  stairs  with  an  air  of 
offended  dignity. 

"  Well  —  I  never  !  —  That  for  you,  you  little  brute," 
exclaimed  Mrs.  Scpiallop,  snapping  her  fingers  as  soon  as 
she  had  heard  his  last  step  on  the  stairs  —  "Kind  or 
cruel,  it  's  all  one  to  you  !  —  You  're  a  nasty  jackanapes, 
only  lit  to  stand  in  a  tailor's  window  to  show  his  clothes 
—  and  I  '11  be  sworn  you  '11  come  to  no  good  in  the  end, 
please  God  !  Let  you  be  rich  as  you  may,  you  '11  always 
be  the  fool  you  always  was  !  " 

Had  the  good  woman  been  familiar  with  the  Night 
Thoughts  of  Dr.  Young,  she  might  have  expressed  herself 
somewhat  tersely  in  a  line  of  his  — 

"  Pygmies  are  pygmies  still,  though  perched  on  Alps." 
And,  by  the  way,  who  can  read  the  next  line  — 
"  And  pyramids  are  pyramids  in  vales," 


376  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

without  thinking  for  a  moment,  with  a  kind  of  proud 
sympathy,  of  certain  other  characters  in  this  history  1 
Well !  but  let  us  pass  on. 

The  day  after  that  on  which  Mr.  Gammon  had  had  a 
long  interview  with  Titmouse,  at  the  new  lodgings  of  the 
latter,  —  when,  after  a  very  skilful  effort,  he  had  succeeded 
in  reconciling  Titmouse  to  a  renewal  of  his  acquaintance 
with  Tag-rag,  upon  that  gentleman's  making  a  complete 
and  abject  apology  for  his  late  monstrous  conduct,  —  Mr. 
.Gammon  wended  his  way  towards  Oxford  Street,  and  soon 
introduced  himself  once  more  to  Mr.  Tag-rag,  who  was 
standing  leaning  against  one  of  the  counters  in  his  shop 
in  a  musing  position,  with  a  pen  behind  his  ear,  and  his 
hands  in  his  breeches'  pockets.  Ten  days  had  elapsed 
since  he  had  expelled  the  little  impostor  Titmouse  from 
Satin  Lodge,  and  during  that  interval  he  had  neither  seen 
nor  heard  anything  whatever  of  him.  On  now  catching 
the  first  glimpse  of  Mr.  Gammon,  he  started  from  his 
musing  posture,  not  a  little  disconcerted,  and  agitation 
overspread  his  coarse  deeply-pitted  face  with  a  tallowy 
hue.  What  was  in  the  wund  1  Mr.  Gammon  coming  to 
him,  so  long  after  what  had  occurred  !  Mr.  Gammon 
who,  having  found  out  his  error,  had  discarded  Titmouse  ! 
Tag-rag  had  a  mortal  dread  of  Gammon,  who  seemed  to 
him  to  glide  like  a  dangerous  snake  into  the  shop,  so 
quietly,  and  so  deadly  !  There  was  something  so  calm 
and  imperturbable  in  his  demeanor,  so  blandly  crafty,  so 
ominously  gentle  and  soft  in  the  tone  of  his  voice,  so  pene- 
trating in  his  eye,  and  he  could  throw  such  an  infernal 
smile  over  his  features  !  Tag-rag  might  be  likened  to 
the  animal,  suddenly  shuddering  as  he  perceives  the 
glistening  folds  of  the  rattlesnake  noiselessly  moving  to- 
wards, or  around  him,  in  the  long  grass.  One  glimpse  of 
his  blasting  beauty  of  hue,  and  —  Horror  !  all  is  over. 

If  the  splendid  bubble  of  Titmouse's  fortune  had  burst 


TEN    THOUSAND    A-YEAU.  377 

in  the  manner  which  he  had  represented,  why  Gammon 
here  now  I  thought  Tag-rag.  It  was  with,  in  truth,  a  very 
poor  show  of  contempt  and  defiance,  that,  in  answer  to 

the  bland  salutation  of  Gammon,  Tag-rag  Led  the  way 
down  the  shop  into  the  little  room  which  had  been  the 
scene  of  such  an  extraordinary  communication  concerning 

Titmouse  on  a  former  occasion. 

Gammon  commenced,  in  a  mild  tone,  with  a  very  start- 
ling representation  of  the  criminal  liability  which  Tag-rag 
had  incurred  by  his  wanton  outrage  upon  Mr.  Titmouse; 
his  own  guest,  in  violation  of  all  the  laws  of  hospitality. 
trioualy  alleged  the  imposition  which  had  been 
practised  on  him  by  Titmouse  ;  but  seemed  quite  collapsed 
when  Gammon  assured  him  that  that  circumstance  would 
(Ford  him  the  slightest  justification.     Having  satis- 
fied Tag-rag  that  he  was  entirely  at  the  mercy  of  Titmouse, 
who  might  subject  him  to  both  fine  and  imprisonment, 
-Mr.  Gammon  proceeded  to  open  his  eyes  to  their  widest 
stare  of  amazement,  by  assuring  him  that  Titmouse  had 
been  hoaxing  him,  and  that  he  was  really  in  the  dazzling 
position  in  which  he  had  been  first  represented  by  Gam- 
mon to  Tag-rag ;  that  every  week  brought  him  nearer  to 
the  full  and  uncontrolled  enjoyment  of  an  estate  in  York- 
shire, worth  £10,000  a-year  at  the  very  lowest ;  that  it 
was  becoming  an  object  of  increasing  anxiety  to  them 
(Messrs,  Quirk,  Gammon,  and  Snap)  to  keep  him  out  of 
the  hands  of  moneylenders,  wh<>,  as  usual  in  such  cases, 
had  already  scented  out  their  victim,  and  so  forth.     Tag- 
I  very  white,  and  felt  sick  at  heart  in  the  midst 
of  all  his  wonder.     Oh,   and  his   daughter  had  lost  the 
.    prize]  and   through  his  misconduct!     He  could 
rank  into  the  cellar  !  —  Mr.  Gammon  declared  that 
he  could  not  account  for  the  singular  conduct  of  Mr.  Tit- 
011  the  melancholy  occasion  in  question,  except  by 
referring  it  to  the  excellent  wines  which  he  had  too  freely 


378  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

partaken  of  at  Satin  Lodge,  added  (said  Gammon,  with  an 
exquisite  expression  of  features  which  perfectly  fascinated 
Tag-rag)  to  a  "  certain  tenderer  influence "  which  had 
fairly  laid  prostrate  the  faculties  of  the  young  and  enthu- 
siastic Titmouse  ;  that  there  could  be  no  doubt  of  his  real 
motive  in  the  conduct  alluded  to,  namely,  a  desire  to  test 
the  sincerity  and  disinterestedness  of  a  "  certain  person's" 
.attachment  before  he  let  all  his  fond  and  passionate  feel- 
ings go  out  towards  her  —  [At  this  point  the  perspiration 
burst  from  every  pore  in  the  devoted  body  of  Tag-rag] 

—  and  that  no  one  could  deplore  the  unexpected  issue  of 
his  little  experiment  so  much  as  now  did  Titmouse. 

Tag-rag  really,  for  a  moment,  scarcely  knew  where  he 
was,  who  was  with  him,  nor  whether  he  stood  on  his 
head  or  his  heels,  so  delightful  and  entirely  unexpected 
was  the  issue  of  Mr.  Gammon's  visit.  As  soon  as  his 
faculties  had  somewhat  recovered  themselves  from  their 
temporary  confusion,  almost  breathless,  he  assured  Gam- 
mon that  no  event  in  the  whole  course  of  his  life  had 
occasioned  him  such  poignant  regret  as  his  treatment  of 
Titmouse  on  the  occasion  in  question  ;  that  he  had  un- 
doubtedly followed  unwittingly  (he  was  ashamed  to 
own)  the  example  of  Titmouse,  and  drank  far  more  than 
his  usual  quantity  of  wine  ;  besides  which  he  had  un- 
doubtedly noticed,  as  had  Mrs.  T.,  the  state  of  things 
between  Mr.  Titmouse  and  his  daughter  —  talking  of 
whom,  by  the  way,  he  could  assure  Mr.  Gammon  that 
both  Mrs.  and  Miss  T.  had  been  ill  ever  since  that  unfor- 
tunate evening,  and  had  never  ceased  to   condemn  his 

—  Tag-rag's  —  monstrous  conduct  on  that  occasion.  As 
for  Miss  T.,  she  was  growing  thinner  and  thinner  every 
day,  and  he  thought  he  must  send  her  to  the  country 
for  a  short  time  :  in  fact  —  poor  girl !  —  she  was  plainly 
pining  away  ! 

To  all  this  Mr.  Gammon  listened  with  a  calm,  delight- 


TEN    THOUSAND   A-YKAU.  379 

ful.  sympathising  look,  which  quite  transported  Tag-rag, 

and  satisfied  him  that  Mr.  Gammon  implicitly  believed 

every  word  that  was  being  said  to  him.     But  when  he 

ded  to  assure  Tag-rag  that  this  visit  of  his  had 

been  undertaken  at  the  earnest  instance  of  Mr.  Titmouse 
himself,  (who,  by  the  way,  had  removed  to  lodgings  which 
would   do    for   the   present,  BO   as   they  were   only  near   to 

their  office,  for  the  purpose  of  frequent  communication  on 

matters  ot'  business  between  him  and  their  firm,)  who 
had  urged  Mr.  Gammon  to  tender  the  olive  branch,  in 
the  devout  hope  that  it  might  be  accepted  —  Tag-rag's 
excitement  knew  scarce  any  bounds;  and  he  could  al- 
have  Btarted  into  the  shop,  and  given  orders  to  his 
shopmen  to  shut  up  shop  half  an  hour  earlier  for  the 
l  st  of  the  week  !  Mr.  Gammon  wrote  down  Titmouse's 
direction,  and  handing  it  to  Mr.  Tag-rag,  assured  him 
that  a  call  from  him  would  be  gratefully  received  by  Mr. 
Titmouse.  '•There's  no  accounting  for  these  things, 
Mr.  Tag-rag  —  is  there  ] "  said  Mr.  Gammon,  with  an 
arch  smile,  as  he  prepared  to  depart  —  Tag-rag  squeezing 
his  hands  with  painful  energy  as  Gammon  bade  him 
adieu,  declaring  that  "  he  should  not  be  himself  for  the 
rest  of  the  day  "  and  bowing  the  aforesaid  Mr.  Gammon 
down  the  sh<>p  with  as  profound  an  obsequiousness  as 
if  he  had  been  the  Lord  High  Chancellor,  or  even  the 
hid  Mayor.  As  soon  as  Gammon  had  got  fairly  into  the 
street,  and  to  a  safe  distance,  he  burst  into  little  gentle 
.'.  -ms  of  laughter,  every  now  and  then,  which  lasted 
him  till  he  had  regained  his  office  in  Saffron  Hill. 

The  motive  so  boldly  and  skilfully  suggested  by  Gam- 
mon to  T  -   that   impelling    Titmouse  to  seek  a 
reconciliation  with  him,  was  greedily  credited  by  Tag-rag. 
certainly  very  easy  for  a  man  to  believe  what  he 
;■.      Was  it  very  improbable  that  Tag-rag, 
ig   only  one  object  on  earth,  (next  to  money,  which 


380  TEN   THOUSAND   A- YEAR. 

indeed  he  really  did  love  with  the  best  and  holiest  ener- 
gies of  his  nature,)  namely,  his  daughter;  and  believing 
her  to  be  possessed  of  qualities  calculated  to  excite  every 
one's  love  —  should  believe  that  she  had  inspired  Tit- 
mouse with  the  passion  of  which  he  had  just  been  hear- 
ing—  a  passion  which  was  consuming  him  —  which  could 

not  be  quenched  by  even  the  gross  outrage  which 

but  faugh !  that  Tag-rag  shuddered  to  think  of.  He 
clapped  his  hat  on  his  head,  and  started  off  to  Titmouse's 
lodgings,  and  fortunately  caught  that  gentleman  just  as 
he  was  going  out  to  dine  at  a  neighboring  tavern.  If 
Tag-rag  had  been  a  keen  observer,  he  could  hardly  have 
failed  to  discover  aversion  towards  himself  written  in 
every  feature  and  gesture  of  Titmouse ;  and  also  the 
difficulty  which  he  experienced  in  concealing  his  feelings. 
But  his  eagerness  overbore  everything;  and  took  Tit- 
mouse quite  by  storm.  Before  Tag-rag  had  done  with 
him,  he  had  obliterated  every  trace  of  resentment  in  his 
little  friend's  bosom.  Thoroughly  as  Gammon  thought 
he  had  armed  Titmouse  against  the  encounter — indeed, 
at  all  points  —  't  was  of  no  avail.  Tag-rag  poured  such  a 
monstrous  quantity  of  flummery  down  the  gaping  mouth 
and  insatiate  throat  of  the  little  animal,  as  at  length  pro- 
duced its  desired  effect.  Few  can  resist  flattery,  how- 
ever coarsely  administered  ;  but  as  for  Titmouse,  he  felt  the 
delicious  fluid  softly  insinuating  itself  into  every  crevice  of 
his  little  nature,  for  which  it  seemed,  indeed,  to  have  a 
peculiar  affinity ;  't  was  a  balm,  't  was  an  opiate  sooth- 
ing his  wounded  pride,  lubricating  all  his  inner  man ; 
nay,  flooding  it,  so  as  at  length  to  extinguish  entirely  the 
very  small  glimmering  spark  of  discernment  which  nature 
had  lit  in  him.  "  To  be  forewarned,  is  to  be  forearmed," 
says  the  proverb ;  but  it  was  not  verified  in  the  present 
instance.  Titmouse  would  have  dined  at  Satin  Lodge  on 
the  very  next  Sunday,  in  accordance   with  the  pressing 


TEN    THOUSAND   A-YKAU.  381 

invitations  of  Tag  rag,  but  that  he   happened  to  recollect 
having  engaged  himself  to  dine  on  that  evening  with  Mr. 

Quirk,  at  his  residence  in  Camberwell  —  A  LIB]  Hoi  BE. 
Afl  1  have  already  intimated  in  a  previous  part  of  this 
history,  that  most  respectable  old  gentleman,  Mr.  Quirk, 
with  the  shrewdness  natural  to  him,  and  which  had  been 
quickened  by  his  great  experience,  had  soon  seen  through 
the  ill-Contrived  and  worse-concealed  designs  upon  Tit- 
mouse of  Mi\  Tag-rag  ;  and  justly  considered  that  the 
surest  method  of  rendering  them  abortive  would  be  to  fa- 
miliarize Titmouse  with  a  superior  style  of  things,  such  as 
was  to  be  found  at  Alibi  House  —  and  a  more  lovely  and 
attractive  object  for  his  best  affections  in  Miss  Quirk  — 
Dora  Quirk  —  the  lustre  of  whose  charms  and  accom- 
plishments there  could  be  no  doubt,  he  thought,  would 
instantly  efface  the  image  of  that  poor,  feeble,  vulgar 
creature.  Miss  Tag-rag;  for  such  old  Quirk  knew7  her  to 
be.  though  he  had,  in  fact,  never  for  a  moment  set  eyes 
upon  her.  Mr.  Tag-rag  looked  rather  blank  at  hearing 
of  the  grand  party  there  was  to  be  at  Alibi  House,  and 
that  Titmouse  was  to  be  introduced  to  the  only  daughter 
of  Mr.  Quirk,  and  could  not  for  the  life  of  him  abstain 
from  dropping  something,  vague  and  indistinct  to  be 
sure,  about  "  entrapping  unsuspecting  innocence,"  and 
'•interested  attentions,"  and  other  similar  expressions  — 
all  «>f  which,  however,  wen-  lost  upon  Titmouse.  T;tp- 
ping  with  an  auctioneer's  hammer  on  a  block  of  granite, 
would  make  about  as  much  impression  upon  it  as  will 
hint,  innuendo,  or  suggestion,  upon  a  blockhead.  So  it 
;th  Titmouse.  He  promised  to  dine  at  Satin  Lodge 
on  the  Sunday  after  the  ensuing  one  —  with  which  poor 
Mr.  T  _  _  is  obliged  to  depart  content;  having  been 
unabl    •  to  <  lapham  on  either  of  the 

intervening  evenings,  on  which,  he  told  Mr.  Tag-rag,  he 
daily  engaged  with  an  intimate  friend  —  "in 


382  TEN  THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

fact,  one  of  his  solicitors  ; "  and  Tag-rag  left  him  after 
shaking  him  by  the  hand  with  the  utmost  cordiality  and 
energy.  He  instantly  conceived  a  lively  hatred  of  old 
Mr.  Quirk  and  his  daughter,  who  seemed  taking  so  unfair 
.  an  advantage.  What,  however,  could  be  done  1  Many 
times  during  his  interview  did  he  anxiously  turn  about 
in  his  mind  the  expediency  of  proffering  to  lend  or  give 
Titmouse  a  five-pound  note,  of  which  he  had  one  or  two 
in  his  pocket-book  ;  but  no  —  't  was  too  much  for  human 
nature  —  he  could  not  bring  himself  to  it;  and  quitted 
Titmouse  as  rich  a  man  as  he  had  entered  that  gentle- 
man's lodgings. 

The  "intimate  friend  "  to  whom  Titmouse  alluded  as 
having  engaged  himself  to  dinner  with  him,  was,  in  fact, 
Mr.  Snap ;  who  had  early  evinced  a  great  partiality  for 
him,  and  lost  no  opportunity  of  contributing  to  his  enjoy- 
ment. Snap  was  a  sharp-sighted  person,  and  quickly  de- 
tected many  qualities  in  Titmouse,  kindred  to  his  own. 
He  sincerely  commiserated  Titmouse's  situation,  than 
which,  could  anything  be  more  lonely  and  desolate? 
Was  he  to  sit  night  after  night  in  the  lengthening  nights 
of  autumn  and  winter,  with  not  a  soul  to  speak  to,  not  a 
book  to  read,  (that  was  at  least  interesting  or  worth  read- 
ing;) nothing,  in  short,  to  occupy  his  attention]  "No," 
said  Snap  to  himself;  "  I  will  do  as  I  would  be  done  by; 
I  will  come  and  draw  him  out  of  his  dull  hole  ;  I  will 
show  him  life  —  I  will  give  him  an  early  insight  into  the 
habits  and  practices  of  the  great  world,  in  which  he  is  so 
soon  to  cut  a  leading  figure !  I  will  early  familiarize  him 
with  the  gayest  and  most  exciting  modes  of  London  life  ! " 
The  very  first  taste  of  this  cup  of  pleasure  was  exquisitely 
relished  by  Titmouse ;  and  he  felt  a  proportionate  grati- 
tude to  him  whose  kind  hand  had  first  raised  it  to  his 
lips.  Scenes  of  which  he  had  heretofore  only  heard  and 
read  —  after  which  he  had  often  sighed  and  yearned,  were 


TEN   THOUSAND    A-YI'.AU.  383 

now  opening  daily  before  him,  limited  as  wore  his  means  ; 
and  he  felt  perfectly  happy.  When  Snap  had  finished 
the  day's  labors  of  the  office,  from  which  he  was  gener- 
ally released  about  eight  or  nine  o'clock  in  the  evening, 
old  repair  to  his  lodgings,  and  decorate  himself  for 
the  night's  display  ;  after  which,  either  he  would  go  to 
Titmouse,  or  Titmouse  come  to  him,  as  might  have  been 
previously  agreed  upon  between  them  ;  ami  then, — 

"  The  town  was  all  before  them,  where  to  choose  !  " 

Sometimes  they  would,  arm  in  arm,  each  witb  his  cigar 
in  his  mouth,  saunter,  for  hours  together,  along  the  lead- 
reets  and  thoroughfares,  making  acute  observations 
and   deep  reflections  upon   the  ever-moving  and   motley 
-    around    them.     Most    frequently,    however,    they 
would    repair,    at   half-price,   to  the  theatres;    for   Snap 
had  the  means  of  securing  almost  a  constant  supply  of 
"  orders"  from  the  underlings  of  the  theatres,  and  also 
from  reporters  to  the  Sunday  Flash,  (with  which  Messrs. 
Quirk  and  Gammon  were  connected,)  and  other  newspa- 
pers.    Ah,  't  was  a  glorious  sight  to  see  these  two  gentle- 
men saunter  into  a  vacant  box,  conscious  that  the  eyes  of 
two-thirds  of  the  house  were  fixed  upon  them  in  admira- 
tion, and  conducting  themselves  accordingly  —  as  swells 
of  the  first  water  !     One  such  night  counterbalanced,  in 
Titmouse's  estimation,  a  whole  year  of  his  previous  obscu- 
rity and  wretchedness  !     The  theatre  over,  they  would  re- 
pair to  some  cloudy  tavern,  full  of  noise  and  smoke,  and 
_lare  of  gaslight  —  redolent  of  the  fragrant  fumes  of 
.  gin,  and  porter,  intermingled  with  the  tempting 
of  smoking  kidneys,  mutton-chops,  beefsteaks,  oys- 
ted  cheese,  Welsh  rabbits;  where 
those  who  are  chained  to  the  desk  and  the  counter  dur- 
ing the  day,  revel  in  the  license  of  the  hour,  and  eat,  and 
drink,  and  .-moke  to  the  highest  point  either  of  excite- 


384  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

ment  or  stupefaction,  and  enter  into  all  the  slang  of  the 
day  —  of  the  turf,  the  ring,  the  cockpit,  the  theatres  — 
and  shake  their  sides  at  comic  songs.  To  enter  one  of 
these  places  when  the  theatre  was  over,  was  a  luxury  in- 
deed to  Titmouse  ;  figged  out  in  his  very  uttermost  best, 
with  satin  stock  and  double  breastpins  ;  his  glossy  hat 
cocked  on  one  side  of  his  head,  his  tight  blue  surtout, 
with  the  snowy  handkerchief  elegantly  drooping  out  of 
the  breast-pocket;  straw-colored  kid  gloves,  tight  trou- 
sers, and  shining  boots ;  his  ebony  silver-headed  cane 
held  carelessly  under  his  arm  !  To  walk  into  the  mid- 
dle of  the  room  with  a  sort  of  haughty  ease  and  indif- 
ference, or  nonchalance ;  and  after  deliberately  scanning, 
through  his  eye-glass,  every  box,  with  its  occupants,  at 
length  drop  into  a  vacant  nook,  and  with  a  languid  air 
summon  the  bustling  waiter  to  receive  his  commands,  was 
ecstasy  !  The  circumstance  of  his  almost  always  accom- 
panying Snap  on  these  occasions,  who  was  held  in  great 
awe  by  the  waiters,  to  whom  his  professional  celebrity  was 
well  known,  (for  there  was  scarce  an  interesting,  a  dread- 
ful, or  a  nasty  scene  at  any  of  the  police-offices,  in  which 
Snap's  name  did  not  figure  in  the  newspapers  as  " appear- 
ing on  behalf  of  the  prisoner,")  got  Titmouse  almost  an 
equal  share  of  consideration,  and  aided  the  effect  produced 
by  his  own  commanding  appearance.  As  for  Snap,  when- 
ever he  was  asked  who  his  companion  was,  he  would  whis- 
per in  a  very  significant  tone  and  manner  —  "  Devilish 
high  chap  !  "  From  these  places  they  would  repair,  not 
unfrequently,  to  certain  other  scenes  of  nightly  London 
life,  which,  I  thank  God  !  the  virtuous  reader  can  form 
no  notion  of,  though  they  are,  strange  to  say,  winked  at, 
if  not  patronized  by  the  police  and  magistracy,  till  the 
metropolis  is  choked  with  them.  Thus  would  Snap  and 
Titmouse  pleasantly  pass  away  their  time  till  one,  two, 
three,  and  often  four  o'clock  in  the  morning ;  at  which 


TKN    THOUSAND    A-YKAK  385 

hours  they  would,  with  many  yawns,  skulk  homewards 
through  the  deserted  aud  silent  streets,  their  clothes  red- 
olent of  tobacco  Bmoke,  their  stomachs  overcharged,  their 
heads  often  muddled,  swimming,  and  throbbing  with  their 
multifarious  potations  —  having  thus  spent  a  l*joUy  night" 
and  •  Twas  thus  that  Snap  greatly  endeared 

If  to  Titmouse,  and  secretly  (for  he  enjoined  upon 
Titm  ie  condition  of  their  continuance,  strict  se- 

crecy on  the  subject  of  these  nocturnal  adventures)  stole 
a  inarch  upon  his  older  competitors  for  the  good  opinion 
of  Titmouse  —  Messrs.  Quirk,  Tag-rag,  and  even  the  astute 
and  experienced  Gammon  himself.  Such  doings  as  these 
required,  however,  as  may  easily  be  believed,  some  slight 
augmentations  of  the  allowance  made  to  Titmouse  by 
lirk  and  Gammon;  and  it  was  fortunate  that 
Snap  was  in  a  condition,  having  a  few  hundreds  at  his 

tand,  to   supply  the  necessities  of  Titmouse,  receiv- 

rh  a  careless  air,  on  the  occasion  of  such  advances, 
small  slips  of  paper  by  way  of  acknowledgments  ;  some  on 
.stamped  paper,  others  on  unstamped  paper,  —  promis- 
sory notes,  and  I.  0.  U's.  Inasmuch,  however,  as  Snap 
Dot  always  possessed  of  a  stamp  on  the  occasion  of 
a  sudden  advance,  and  having  asked  the  opinion  of  his 
pleader    (a  sharp    fellow    who    had    been    articled    at  the 

time  as   himself  to   Messrs.    Quirk  and   Gammon) 

-   •      whether  an  instrument  in  this  form,  "I,  0.  U.  so 

much  —  with    i/i(^»sf,'}    would    be    available    without   a 

1  being  informed  that  it  was  a  very  doubtful 

I   u'.ou-dy  met  the  difficulty  by  quietly  add- 

the  principal  what  might  become  due  in  respect  of 
intercut  :  t. g.  it'  £5  were  lent,  the  acknowledgment  would 
£15 —  til..-.-  little  .-dips  of  paper  being  gener- 
ally signed  by  Titmouse  in  moments  of  extreme  exhila- 

.   when  he  never  thought  of  scrutinizing  anything 
I   Snap  would   lay  before   him.     For  the 

VOL.  I. 


386  TEN    THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

honor  of  Snap,  I  must  say  that  I  hardly  think  he  delib- 
erately purposed  to  perpetuate  the  fraud  which  such  a 
transaction  appears  to  amount  to  ;  all  he  wanted  was  — 
so  he  satisfied  himself  at  least  —  to  have  it  in  his  power 
to  recover  the  full  amount  of  principal  really  advanced, 
with  interest,  on  one  or  other  of  these  various  securities, 
and  hold  the  surplus  as  trustee  for  Titmouse.  If,  for  in- 
stance, any  unfortunate  difference  should  hereafter  arise 
between  himself  and  Titmouse,  and  he  should  refuse  to 
recognize  his  pecuniary  obligations  to  Snap,  the  latter 
gentleman  would  be  provided  with  short  and  easy  proofs 
of  his  demands  against  him.  T  was  thus,  I  say,  that 
Snap  rendered  himself  indispensable  to  Titmouse,  whom 
he  bound  to  him  by  every  tie  of  gratitude;  so  that,  in 
short,  they  became  sworn  friends. 

I  will  always  say  for  Gammon,  that,  whatever  might 
have  been  his  motive,  he  strenuously  endeavored  to  urge 
upon  Titmouse  the  necessity  of  acquiring,  at  all  events,  a 
smattering  of  the  elements  of  useful  education.  Beyond 
an  acquaintance  with  the  petty  operations  of  arithmetic 
requisite  for  counter-transactions,  I  will  venture  to  say 
that  poor  Titmouse  had  no  serviceable  knowledge  of  any 
kind.  Mr.  Gammon  repeatedly  pressed  him  to  put  him- 
self under  competent  teachers  of  the  ordinary  branches 
of  education  ;  but  Titmouse  as  often  evaded  him,  and  at 
length  flatly  refused  to  do  anything  of  the  kind.  He 
promised,  however,  to  read  such  books  as  Mr.  Gammon 
might  recommend  ;  who  thereupon  sent  him  several :  but 
a  book  before  Titmouse  was  much  the  same  as  a  plate  of 
sawdust  before  a  hungry  man.  Mr.  Gammon,  himself  a 
man  of  considerable  acquirements,  soon  saw  the  true  state 
of  the  case,  and  gave  up  his  attempts  in  despair  and  dis- 
gust. jSTot  that  he  ever  suffered  Titmouse  to  perceive  the 
faintest  indication  of  such  feelings  towards  him  ;  on  the 
contrary,  Gammon  ever  exhibited  the  same  bland  and 


TEN    THOUSAND    A-YK.w:.  38f 

benignant  demeanor,  consulting  his  wishes  in  everything, 
and  striving  to  instil  into  him  feelings  of  love,  tempered 
by  respect,  as  towards  the  most  powerful  —  the  only  real, 
disinterested   friend   lie  had]      To  a  very  great  extent  he 

succeeded. 

Titmouse  spent  several  hours  in  preparing  for  an  effec- 
tive 6rat  appearance  at  the  dinner-table  at  Alibi  House. 
Since  dining  at  Satin  Lodge,  lie  had  considerably  increased 
Lrdrobe  I »» »t li  in  quantity  and  styla     He  now  sported 

a  pair  of  tight   black  trousers,  with  pumps  and  gossamer 
silk  stockings.      He  wore  a  crimson  velvet  waistcoat,  with 
a  bright  blue  satin  under-waistcoat,  a  shirt-frill  standing 
out  somewhat  fiercely  at  right  angles  with  his  breast,  and 
a  brown  dress-coat  cut  in  the  extreme  of  the  fashion,  the 
•ails  coming  to  a  point  just  about  the  backs  of  his 
His  hair   (its  purple  hue  still  pretty  distinctly 
ptible)  was  disposed  with  great  elegance.      He  had 
led  mustaches  ;  but  had  a  very  promising  imperial. 
The  hair  underneath  his  chin  came  out  curling  on  each 
side  of  it,  above  his  stock,  like  two  little  tufts  or  horns. 
Over  his  waistcoat  he  wore  his  mosaic  gold  watch-guard, 
and  a  broad  black  watered  ribbon,  to  which  was  attached 
<s —  in  fact,  if  he  had  dressed  himself  in  order 
to  sit  to  a  miniature  painter  for  his  likeness,  lie  could  not 
iter  pains,  or  secured  a  more  successful  re- 
sult.     The  «>nly  points  about  his  appearance  with  which 
he  was  at  all  dissatisfied,  were   his  hair — which  was  not 
yet   the    thing    which    he    hoped    in    due    time    to   see    it 
—      It  1  stumpy  hands,  and   his  round   shoulders. 

The  1  him  considerable  concern,  for  he  felt 

that  it  seriously  interfered  with  a  graceful  carriage;  and 
ire  had  been,  after  all,  not  in  the 
by  the  prodigious  padding  of  hiscoat.     His 
protuberant  eyes,  of  very  light  hue,  had  an  expression  en- 
tirely harmonizing  with  that  of  his  open  mouth  :  and  both 


388  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

together,  quite  independently  of  his  dress,  carriage,  and  de- 
meanor—  (there  is  nothing  like  being  candid)  —  gave  you 
the  image  of  a  —  complete  fool.  Having  at  length  care- 
fully adjusted  his  hat  on  his  head,  and  drawn  on  his  white 
kid  gloves,  he  enveloped  himself  in  a  stylish  cloak,  with 
long  black  silk  tassels,  which  had  been  lent  to  him  by  Snap ; 
and  about  four  o'clock,  forth  sallied  Mr.  Titmouse,  care- 
fully picking  his  way,  in  quest  of  the  first  coach  that  could 
convey  him  to  Alibi  House,  or  as  near  to  it  as  might  be. 
He  soon  found  one,  and,  conscious  that  his  appearance  was 
far  too  splendid  for  an  outside  place,  got  inside.  All  the 
way  along,  his  heart  was  in  a  little  flutter  of  vanity,  ex- 
citement, and  expectation.  He  was  going  to  be  intro- 
duced to  Miss  Quirk  —  and  probably,  also,  to  several 
people  of  great  consequence  —  as  the  heir  apparent  to 
.£10,000  a-year  !  Two  very  respectable  female  passen- 
gers, his  companions,  he  never  once  deigned  to  inter- 
change a  syllable  with.  Four  or  five  times  did  he  put 
his  head  out  of  the  window,  calling  out  in  a  loud  per- 
emptory tone  —  "  Mind,  coachman  —  Alibi  House  —  Mr. 
Quirk's  —  Alibi  House  —  Do  you  hear,  demme?"  After 
which  he  would  sink  back  into  the  seat  with  a  magnifi- 
cent air,  as  if  he  had  not  been  used  to  give  himself  so 
much  trouble.  The  coach  at  length  stopped.  "  Hallibi 
Ouse,  sir,"  said  the  coachman,  in  a  most  respectful  tone  — 
"this  is  Mr.  Quirk's,  sir."  Titmouse  stepped  out,  dropped 
eighteenpence  into  the  man's  hand,  and  opening  the  gate, 
found  himself  in  a  straight  and  narrow  gravel  walk,  of 
about  twenty  yards  in  length,  with  little  obstinate-look- 
ing stunted  shrubs  on  each  side.  'T  was  generally  known, 
among  Mr.  Quirk's  friends,  by  the  name  of  "the  Rope-walk" 
Titmouse  might  have  entered  before  as  fine-looking  a  house, 
but  only  to  deliver  a  bundle  of  drapery  or  hosiery :  never 
before  had  he  entered  such  an  one  in  the  reality  of  guest. 
It  was,  in  fact,  a  fair-sized  house,  at  least  treble  that  of 


to  thousand  a-yeak.  389 

Satin  Lodge,  and  had  a  far  more  stylish  appearance. 
When  Titmouse  pulled  the   bell,  the  door  was  quickly 

plucked  open  by  a  big  footman,  with  showy  shoulder- 
knot  and  a  pair  of  splendid  red  plush  breeches,  who  soon 
disposed  o(  Titmouse's  cloak  and  hat,  and  led  the  way 
t«>  the  drawing-room,  before  our  friend,  with  a  sudden 
palpitation  of  the  heart,  had  had  a  moment's  time  even 
to  run  his  hands  through  his  hair. 

"Your  name,  sir  l"  inquired  the  man,  suddenly  paus- 
ing—  with  his  hand  upon  the  handle  of  the  door. 

'•  Mr.  Titmouse  !  " 

"I  —  leg  your  pardon,  sir  ;  what  name1?" 

Titmouse  clearing  his  throat  repeated  his  name  —  open 
went  the  door,  and  —  "  Mr.  Ticklemouse,"  said  the  ser- 
vant, very  loudly  and  distinctly  —  ushering  in  Titmouse; 
on  whom  the  door  was  the  next  instant  closed.  He  felt 
amazingly  flustered —  and  he  would  have  been  still  more 
so,  if  he  could  have  been  made  aware  of  the  titter  which 
pervaded  the  fourteen  or  twenty  people  assembled  in  the 
room,  occasioned  by  the  droll  misnomer  of  the  servant, 
and  the  exquisitely  ridiculous  appearance  of  poor  Tit- 
mouse. Mr.  Quirk,  dressed  in  black,  with  knee  breeches 
and  silk  stockings,  immediately  bustled  up  to  him,  shook 
him  cordially  by  the  hand,  and  led  him  up  to  the  as- 
sembled guests.  "My  daughter  —  Miss  Quirk;  Mrs.  Al- 
derman Addlehead  ;  Mrs.  Deputy  Diddle-daddle  ;  Mrs. 
Alias,  my  sister;  —  Mr.  Alderman  Addlehead;  Mr.  Dep- 
uty Diddle-daddle;  Mr.  Bluster;  Mr.  Slang;  Mr.  Hug; 
Mr.  Flaw;  Mr.  Viper;  Air.  Ghastly;  Mr.  (Jammon  you 
know."  Miss  Quirk  was  about  four  or  five  and  twenty 
—  a  fat  young  lady,  with  flaxen  hair  curled  formally  all 
over  her  head  and  down  to  her  shoulders  ;  so  that  she 
very  much  resembled  one  of  those  great  wax  dolls  seen 
in  bazaars  and  shop  windows.  Her  complexion  was  beauti- 
fully lair  ;  her  e-yes  were  small  ;  her  face  was  quite  round 


390  TEN    THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

and  fat.  From  the  die-away  manner  in  which  she  moved 
her  head,  and  the  languid  tone  of  her  voice,  it  was  obvi- 
ous that  she  was  a  very  sentimental  young  lady.  She 
was  dressed  in  white,  and  wore  a  massive  gold  chain  — 
her  fat  arms  being  half  covered  with  long  kid  gloves.  She 
was  sitting  on  the  sofa,  from  which  she  did  not  rise  when 
Titmouse  was  introduced  to  her  —  and  the  moment  after- 
wards, hid  her  face  behind  the  album  which  had  been  ly- 
ing on  her  knee,  and  which  she  had  been  showing  to  the 
ladies  on  each  side  of  her ;  for,  in  fact,  neither  she  nor 
any  one  else  could,  without  the  greatest  difficulty,  refrain 
from  laughing  at  the  monkeyfied  appearance  of  Titmouse. 
The  alderman  was  a  stout,  stupid  little  man  —  a  fussy 
old  prig — with  small  angry-looking  black  eyes,  and  a 
short  red  nose ;  as  for  his  head,  it  seemed  as  though  he 
had  just  smeared  some  sticky  fluid  over  it,  and  then 
dipped  it  into  a  flour-tub,  so  thickly  laden  was  it  with 
powder.  Mr.  Deputy  Diddle-daddle  was  tall  and  thin, 
and  serious  and  slow  of  speech,  with  the  solemn  com- 
posure of  an  undertaker.  Mr.  Bluster  was  a  great  Old 
Bailey  barrister,  about  fifty  years  old,  the  leader  con- 
stantly employed  by  Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon,  and  Snap  ; 
and  was  making  at  least  a  thousand  a-year.  He  had  an 
amazingly  truculent-looking  countenance,  coarse  to  a  de- 
gree, and  his  voice  matched  it ;  but  on  occasions  like  the 
present  —  i.e.  in  elegant  society — he  would  fain  drop  the 
successful  terrors  of  his  manner,  and  appear  the  mild, 
dignified  gentleman.  He  therefore  spoke  in  a  very  soft, 
cringing  way,  with  an  anxious  smile  ;  but  his  bold  inso- 
lent eye  and  coarse  mouth  —  what  could  disguise  or  mit- 
igate their  expression  1  Here  he  was,  playing  the  great 
man  ;  making  himself,  however,  most  particularly  agree- 
able to  Messrs.  Quirk  and  Gammon.  Slang  was  of  the 
same  school  :  fat,  vulgar,  confident,  and  empty  ;  telling 
obscene  jokes  and  stories,  in  a  deep  bass  voice.     He  sang 


TEN   THOUSAND    A-YEAIl.  391 

id  song)  too  —  particularly  of  that  class  which  re- 
quired the  absence  of  ladies  —  ami  of  gentlemen.  Hug 
(  Mr.  Toady  Hug)  was  also  a  barrister;  a  glib  little  Jewish- 
looking  fellow,  creeping  into  considerable  criminal  practice. 
Ho  was  a  sneaking  backbiter,  and  had  a  blood-hound  scent 
after  an  attorney.  See  him,  for  instance,  at  this  moment, 
in  close  and  eager  conversation  with  Mr.  Flaw,  who,  rely 
upon  it.  will  give  him  a  brief  before  the  week  is  over. 
Viper  was  the  editor  of  the  Sunday  Flash;  a  cold,  ven- 
omous little  creature.  He  was  a  philosopher  —  and  of 
opinion  that  everything  was  wrong  —  moral,  physical, 
intellectual,  and  social  ;  that  there  was  really  no  such 
thing,  or  at  least  ought  not  to  be,  as  religion;  and,  as  to 
political  rights,  that  everybody  was  equal,  and  if  any  were 
uppermost,  all  ought  to  be!  He  had  failed  in  business 
twice,  and  disreputably  ;  then  had  become  an  Unitarian 
parson ;  but.  having  seduced  a  young  female  member  of 
his  congregation,  he  was  expelled  from  his  pulpit.  An 
action  being  brought  against  him  by  the  mother  of  his 
victim,  and  heavy  damages  obtained,  he  attempted  to 
take  the  benefit  of  the  Insolvent  Debtors'  Act  —  but,  on 

account  of  Miss ,  was  remanded  for  eighteen  months. 

That  period  he  employed  in  writing  a  shockingly  blasphe- 
mous work,  for  which  he  was  prosecuted,  and  sentenced 
to  a  heavy  tine  and  imprisonment.  On  being  released 
from  prison,  saturated  with  gall  and  bitterness  against 
all  mankind,  he  took  to  political  writing  of  a  very  violent 
character,  and  was  at  length  picked  up,  half  starved,  by- 
his  present   patron,  Mr.  Quirk,  and  made  editor  of  the 

w  Flash.  [s  not  all  this  history  wrritten  in  his 
sallow,  P-eyed,     bitter-expressioned    countenance'? 

to    him   who    gets    into  a  discussion   with   Viper! 

were    on<>    or   two    others    present,    particularly   a 

l£r.  Ghastly,  a  third-rate  tragic  actor,  with  a  tremendous 

mouth,  only  one  eye,  and  a  very  hungry  look.      He  never 


392  TEN    THOUSAND    A- YEAR. 

spoke,  because  no  one  spoke  to  him,  for  his  clothes  seemed 
rather  rusty  black.  The  only  man  of  gentlemanlike  ap- 
pearance in  the  room  was  Mr.  Gammon ;  and  he  took  an 
early  opportunity  of  engaging  poor  Titmouse  in  conversa- 
tion, and  setting  him  comparatively  at  his  ease  —  a  thing 
which  was  attempted  by  old  Quirk,  but  in  such  a  fidgety- 
fussy  way  as  served  only  to  fluster  Titmouse  the  more. 
Mr.  Quirk  gave  a  dinner-party  of  this  sort  regularly 
every  Sunday ;  and  they  formed  the  happiest  moments 
of  his  life  —  occasions  on  which  he  felt  that  he  had 
achieved  success  in  life  —  on  which  he  banished  from 
his  thoughts  the  responsible  and  dignified  anxieties  of 
his  profession ;  and,  surrounded  by  a  select  circle  of 
choice  spirits,  such  as  were  thus  collected  together, 
partook  joyously  of  the 

"Feast  of  reason,  and  the  flow  of  soul." 

"  This  is  a  very  beautiful  picture,  Mr.  Titmouse,  is  n't 
it?"  said  Gammon,  leading  him  to  the  farther  corner  of 
the  drawing-room,  where  hung  a  small  picture,  with  a  sort 
of  curtain  of  black  gauze  before  it.  Gammon  lifted  it  up  ; 
and  Titmouse  beheld  a  picture  of  a  man  suspended  from 
the  gallows,  his  hands  tied  with  cords  before  him,  his  head 
forced  aside,  and  covered  down  to  the  chin  with  a  white 
nightcap.  'T  was  done  with  sickening  fidelity  ;  and  Tit- 
mouse gazed  at  it  with  a  shudder.  "  Charming  thing, 
isn't  it?"  said  Gammon,  with  a  very  expressive  smile. 

"Y  —  e  —  e — s,"  replied  Titmouse,  his  eyes  glued  to 
the  horrid  object. 

"Very  striking  thing,  that  —  a'n't  it?"  quoth  Quirk, 
bustling  up  to  them  ;  "  't  was  painted  for  me  by  a  first-rate 
artist,  whose  brother  I  very  nearly  saved  from  the  gallows  ! 
Like  such  things  ? "  he  inquired  with  a  matter-of-fact  air, 
drawing  down  the  black  gauze. 


TEN    THOUSAND    A-YKAR.  303 

••Yes,  sir,  uncommon  —  most  uncommon  !"  quoth  Tit- 
mouse,  shuddering. 

••Well,  1  *11  Bhow  you  something  most  particular  inter- 
Heard  of  Gilderoy,   that   was  hanged   for   for- 
l    .1.  my  daughter's  get  a  brooch  with  a  luck  of  his 
hair  in  it,  which  he  gave   me   himself — a  client  of  mine; 
within  an  ace  of  getting  him  off — Haw  in  the  indictment 

—  found  it  out  myself — did,  by  gad  !  Come  along,  and 
I'll  get  Dora  to  show  it  to  you  !"  and,  putting  Titmouse's 
arm  in  his,  and  desirous  of  withdrawing  him  from  Gam- 
mon,  he  led  him   up  to  the   interesting  young  lady. 

••  Dora,"  said  Mr.  Quirk  —  "just  show  my  friend  Tit- 
m  nise  that   brooch  of  yours,  with  Gilderoy 's  hair." 

"Oh,  my  dear  papa,  'tis  such  a  melancholy  thing!" 
said  she,  at  the  same  time  detaching  it  from  her  dress, 
and  handing  it  to  her  papa,  who,  holding  it  in  his  hands, 
Titmouse,  and  one  or  two  others  who  stood  beside, 
a  very  interesting  account  of  the  last  hours  of  the  deceased 
Gilderoy. 

"He  was  very  handsome,  papa,  wasn't  heV  inquired 
Miss  Quirk,  with  a  sigh,  and  a  very  pensive  air. 

•'Wasn't  had  looking ;  but  good  looks  and  the  con- 
demned cell  don't  long  agree  together,  /  can  tell  you  ! 

—  Had   many  " 

'•Ah,  papa!"  exclaimed  Miss  Quirk,  in  a  mournful 
tone,  and,  leaning  hack  in  the  sofa,  raised  her  handker- 
chief to  her  L-ycn. 

•■  You  are  too  sensitive,  my  love  !"  whispered  her  aunt, 
Mrs.  Qg  the  hand  of  her  niece,  who,  strug- 

gainst  her  feelings,  presently  revived. 

"  We  were  looking  just  now,"  said  Mr.  Hug,  addres- 
Mr.  Quirk,  "at  a  very  interesting  addition  to  Miss 
Quirk's   splendid  album  —  that  letter  of  Grizzlegut." 

"Ah,  very  Btrikingl  Value  it  beyond  everything! 
Shall  never  forget  Grizzlegut  !     Very  nearly  got  him  off! 


394  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

'T  was  an  '  &c.  '  that  nearly  saved  his  life,  through  being 
omitted  in  the  indictment.  Tore  gad,  we  thought  we  'd 
got  'em  !  " 

They  were  alluding  to  an  autograph  letter  which  had 
been  addressed  to  Mr.  Quirk  by  Grizzlegut,  (who  had  been 
executed  for  high  treason  a  few  weeks  before,)  the  night 
before  he  suffered.  He  was  a  blood-stained  scoundrel  of 
the  deepest  dye,  and  ought  to  have  been  hanged  and 
quartered  half  a  dozen  times. 

"Will  you  read  it  aloud,  Mr.  Hug?"  inquired  Miss 
Quirk ;  and  the  barrister,  with  solemn  emphasis,  read 
the  following  remarkable  document  :  — 


"  Condemned  Cell,  Newgate, 
Sunday  night.,  half-past  11  o'clock, 
30th  April,  18—. 

"Sir, 

"  At  this  awful  moment,  when  this  world  is  closing  rapidly 
upon  me  and  my  fellow-sufferers,  and  the  sounds  of  the 
wretches  putting  up  the  Grim  Gallows  are  audible  to  my 
listening  ears,  and  on  the  morrow  the  most  horrible  death 
that  malicious  tyrants  can  inflict  awaits  me,  my  soul  being 
calm  and  full  of  fortitude,  and  beating  responsive  to  the  call 
of  Glorious  Liberty,  I  feel  prouder  than  the  King  upon  his 
throne.  I  feel  that  I  have  done  much  to  secure  the  liberties 
of  my  injured  country. 

'  For  Liberty,  glorious  Liberty, 
Who  'd  fear  to  die  ? ' 

Many  thanks  to  you,  sir,  for  your  truly  indefatigable  efforts  on 
my  behalf,  and  the  constant  exercise  of  a  skill  that  nearly  se- 
cured us  a  Glorious  Acquittal.  What  a  Flame  we  would  have 
raised  in  England !  That  should  have  blasted  the  enemies  of 
True  Freedom.  I  go  to  Hereafter  (if,  indeed,  there  be  a  here- 
after), as  we  shall  soon  know,  not  with  my  soul  crammed  with 
Priestcraft,  but  a  Bold  Briton,  having  laid  down  my  life  for  my 
country,  knowing  that  Future  Ages  will  do  me  Justice. 


TEN   TH0U8AND    A-VKAU.  395 

"Adieu,  Tyrants,  adieu!    Do  your  word  '. '     ICy  .soul  defies 

you : : : 

••  1  am,  Sir, 

••  Tour  humble,  obliged,  and 
M  andiamayed  Bervant, 

-  ARTHI  U    (ililZZLEGUT. 

b  Quirk,  r 

•• '  Tyrants  grim, 

Will,  on  the  morrow,  cut  me  limb  from  limb  :  — 
While  Liberty  looks  on  with  terrible  eye, 
And  says,  /  trill  avengt  him  by-emd-by.' 

"  Arthur  Grizzlegut." 

The  reading  of  the  above  produced  a  great  sensation. 
"That  man's  name  will  be  enrolled  among  the  Sidneys 
and  the  Hampdena  of  his  country  !  "  said  Viper,  with  a 
grim  and  excited  air.  "That  letter  deserves  to  be  carved 
on  a  golden  tablet!  The  last  four  lines  are  sublime! 
They  are  worthy  of  Milton  !  He  was  a  martyr  to  princi- 
ples that  are  silently  and  rapidly  making  their  way  in 
this  country  !  "  —  How  much  farther  he  would  have  gone 
on  in  this  strain,  seeing  no  one  present  had  resolution 
enough  to  differ  with  or  interrupt  him,  even  if  they  had 
d,  I  know  not;  but  fortunately  dinner  was 
announced — a  sound  which  startled  old  Quirk  out  of  a 
posture  of  intense  attention  to  Viper,  and  evident  admi- 
ration  of  his  sentiments.     He  gave  his  arm  with  an  air  of 

_:uiis  polU  the  gaunt  Mrs.  Alderman  Addle- 

whose  distinguished  lord  led  down  Miss  Quirk  — 

and  t:  lowed  in  no  particular  order  —  Titmouse 

arm  in  arm  with  Gammon,  who  took  care  to  place  him 

•  -  himself  (Gammon).  It  was  really  a  dashing  sort 
of  dinner  —  such,  indeed,  as  Mr.  Quirk  bad  long  been 
celebrated  for.  Titmouse  had  never  seen  anything  like 
it,  and  was  quite  bewildered  —  particularly  at  the  number 
of  differently  shaped  and  colored  glasses,  &C.  &0.  &C,  ftp- 


396  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

propriated  to  his  individual  use  !  He  kept  a  constant  eye 
on  the  movements  of  Gammon,  and  did  whatever  he  did 
(the  two  appearing  moved  by  the  same  set  of  springs), 
and  was  thus  saved  not  a  few  embarrassments  and  annoy- 
ances. What  chiefly  struck  his  attention  was  a  prodigious 
number  of  dishes,  great  and  small,  as  if  half  a  dozen  din- 
ners had  been  crowded  into  one ;  the  rapidity  with  which 
they  were  changed,  and  plates  removed,  in  constant  suc- 
cession ;  the  incessant  invitations  to  take  wine,  flying 
about  during  the  whole  of  dinner.  For  a  considerable 
while  he  was  too  much  flurried  to  enjoy  himself;  but  a 
few  glasses  of  champagne  succeeded  in  elevating  his 
spirits  to  the  proper  pitch  —  and  (had  he  not  been 
checked)  would  soon  have  driven  them  far  beyond  it. 
Almost  everybody,  except  the  great  folk  at  the  very  top 
of  the  table,  asked  him  to  take  wine ;  and  on  every  such 
occasion  he  filled  his  glass.  In  fact  Gammon,  recollecting 
a  scene  at  his  own  chamber,  soon  perceived  that,  unless 
he  interfered,  Titmouse  would  be  drunk  long  before  dinner 
w7as  over.  That  gentleman  had  not  imagined  the  earth 
to  contain  so  exquisite  a  drink  as  champagne ;  and  he 
could  have  fallen  down  and  worshipped  it,  as  it  came 
fizzing  and  flashing  out  of  the  bottle.  Gammon  earnestly 
assured  him  that  he  would  be  ill  if  he  drank  so  much  — 
that  many  eyes  were  upon  him  —  and  that  it  was  not  the 
custom  to  do  more  than  merely  sip  from  his  wine-glass 
when  challenging  or  challenged.  But  Titmouse  had 
taken  a  considerably  greater  quantity  on  board,  before 
Gammon  thus  interfered,  than  that  gentleman  was  aware 
of;  and  began  to  get  very  confident  and  voluble.  Guess 
the  progress  he  had  made,  when  he  called  out  with  a  con- 
fident air —  "  Mr.  Alderman  !  Your  health  !  "  —  whether 
more  to  that  great  man's  astonishment,  or  disgust,  I 
cannot  undertake  to  say  :  but  after  a  steady  stare  for  a 
moment  or  two  at  Titmouse,  "Oh !  I  shall  be  very  happy, 


TEX   THOUSAND    A.-YEAB.  397 

indeed,  Mr.  Gammon"  he  called  out,  looking  at  the  latter 
gentleman,  and  drinking  with  him.  That  signified  nothing, 
however,  to  Titmouse,  who.  indeed,  did  not  see  anything 
:it  all  pointed  or  unusual,  and  nodding  confidently  to  the 
alderman,  gulped  down  his  wine  as  eagerly  as  before. 

©1  puppy,  that,  Miss  Quirk,  must  say,"  snuffled  the 
offended  alderman,  to  Mi-s  Quirk. 

"  He's  young,  dear  Mr.  AJderman,"  said  she,  sweetly 
and  mildly  —  "and  when  you  consider  the  immense  for- 
tune he  is  coming  into — -ten  thousand  a-year,  my  papa 
-  " 

"That  don't  make  him  less  a  puppy  —  nor  a  brute," 

interrupted   the  ruffled   alderman,   still   more   indignant ; 

for  his  «>\vn  forty  thousand  pounds,  the  souree  of  all  his 

I   eminence,  sank  into  insignificance  at  the  sound  of 

the  splendid  income  just  about  to  drop  into  the  lap  of 

Titmouse.     Mr.  Bluster,  who  headed  the  table   on  Miss 

Quirk's  left  hand  side,  and  who  felt  that  he  ought  to  be, 

but  knew  that  in  the  presence  of  the  alderman  he  was 

not,   the  great  man  of  the  day,  observing  the  irritation 

under  which  his  rival  was  suffering,  resolved  to  augment 

much  as  possible:  wherefore  he  immediately  raised 

his  threatening  double-glasses  to  his  eyes,  and  in  a  tone  of 

ostentations  condescension,  looking  down  the  table  to  Tit- 

.  called  out,  "  Mr.  Titmash  —  may  I  have  the  honor 

of  drinking  wine  with  you?" 

••  Ya  —  as,  brother  Bumptious,"  replied  Titmouse,  (who 
could  never  bear  to  hear  his  name  mispronounced,)  and 
"  ;  "  was  just  going  to  ask  you  /" 
All  this  was  done  in  such  a  loud  and  impudent  tone  and 
manner,  as  made  Gammon  still  more  uneasy  for  his  young 
companion.  But  his  sally  had  been  received  by  the  com- 
pany a-  a  v-.-ry  smart  retort,  and  produced  a  roar  of  laugh- 
glad  to  see  Mr.  Bluster  snubbed,  who 
bore   it    in    silent   dignity,    though    his    face    showed   his 


398  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

chagrin  and  astonishment ;  and  he  very  heartily  agreed, 
for  once  in  his  life,  with  the  worshipful  person  opposite 
to  him,  in  his  estimate  of  our  friend  Titmouse.  "Mr. 
Titmouse  !  Mr.  Titmouse  !  my  daughter  wonders  you  won't 
take  wine  with  her,"  said  Mr.  Quirk,  in  a  low7  tone  —  "will 
you  join  us  1  we  're  going  to  take  a  glass  of  champagne." 

"  Oh  !  'pon  my  life  —  delighted  "  —  quoth  Titmouse. 

11  Dora,  my  dear  !  Mr.  Titmouse  wTill  take  wine  with 
you! — Jack,"  (to  the  servant,)  "fill  Miss  Quirk's  and 
Mr.  Titmouse's  glasses  to  the  brim." 

"  Oh  no  !  dearest  papa gracious  !  "  she  exclaimed, 

removing  her  glass. 

"  Pho  !  pho  ! — nonsense  —  the  first  time  of  asking, 
you  know,  ah,  ha  !  " 

"Well !  If  it  must  be,"  and  with  w7hat  a  graceful  incli- 
nation —  with  what  a  sly  searching  glance,  and  fascinating 
smile,  did  she  exchange  courtesies  with  Titmouse  !  He 
felt  disposed  to  take  wine  w7ith  her  a  second  time  imme- 
diately ;  but  Gammon  restrained  him.  Mr.  Toady  Hug, 
having  become  acquainted  with  the  brilliant  prospects  of 
Titmouse,  earnestly  desired  to  exert  his  little  talents  to 
do  the  agreeable,  and  ingratiate  himself  with  Mr.  Tit- 
mouse ;  but  there  was  a  counteracting  force  in  another 
direction  —  viz.  the  attorney,  Mr.  Flaw,  who  had  the 
greatest  practice  at  the  Clerkenwell  sessions ;  who  sat 
beside  him  and  received  his  most  respectful  and  incessant 
attentions ;  Hug  speaking  ever  to  him  in  a  low  confidential 
whisper,  constantly  casting  a  furtive  glance  towards  Blus- 
ter and  Slang,  to  see  whether  they  were  observing  him. 
In  "  strict  confidence  "  he  assured  Mr.  Flaw  how  his  case, 
the  other  day,  might  have  been  won,  if  such  and  such  a 
course  had  been  adopted,  "  which  would  have  been  the 
line  he"  (Hug)  "would  have  taken  ;"  and  which  he  ex- 
plained with  anxious  energy.  "  I  must  say,  (but  don't 
mention  it !  )  that  Mr.  Flip  regularly  threw  the  case  away 


n:\    rHOUSAND  a-yk.vu.  399 

—  no  doabt  of  it  !  By  the  way,  whal  became  of  thai 
burglary  oase  of  yours,  on  Friday,  Mr.  Flaw?  Uncom- 
monly interesting  easel" 

•■  Found  guilty,  poor  fellows  !  " 

•■  You  don't  say  BO  ?" 

••  Fact,  by  Jove,  though  ! " 

"11  Mr.  Gobble   have   lost   that   verdict  1     I 

;  1  would  have  bet  ten  to  one  on  your  getting 
a  verdict;  for  1  read  over  your  brief  as  it  lay  beside  me, 
and   upon  my  honor,    Mr.    Flaw,  it  was  most  admirably 

got  up.      Everything  depends  on  the  brief" 

id  you  t!i  tught  so,  sir,"  replied  Flaw,  wondering 
how  it  was  that   he  had  never  before  thought  of  giving 
rief  to  Mr.   ling. 
"  It  's  a  great  mistake  of  counsel,"  quoth  Hug,  earnestly 

—  ■•  not  to  pay  the  utmost  attention  to  their  briefs  !  For 
my  part,"  he  continued  in  a  lower  tone,  "  I  make  a  point 
of  reading  every  syllable  in  my  brief,  however  long  it  is  !" 

"  It 's  the  only  way,  depend  on  it,  sir.  We  attorneys, 
you  know,  see  and  know  so  much  of  the  case,  conversing 
confidentially  with  the  prisoners" 

"Ay.  and    beyond   that  —  Your  practical  suggestions, 

my  dear  sir,  are  often Now,  for  instance,  in  the  brief 

I  was  alluding  to,  there  was,  I  recollect  —  one  most  — 
uncommonly  acute  suggestion" 

"Sir  —  you're  uncommonly  flattering!  Am  particu- 
larly obliged  to  you  !  May  I  ask,  what  it  was  that  struck 
" —  inquired  the  attorney,  briskly,  his  countenance 
showing  the  progress  of  Hug's  lubricating  pro 

"  Oh  —  why  — a  —  a  —  hem  !  "  stammered  Hug,  some- 
what nonplussed  —  (for  his  little  fiction  had  been  ac- 
a  fact  !  )  "  Xo  ;  it  would  hardly  be  fair  to 
Gobble,  and    I  'm  sorry  indeed" 

"Well,  well — it  can't  be  helped  now —  but  I  must 
say  that  once  or  twice  latterly  I  've  thought,  myself,  that 


400  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

Mr.  Gobble  has  rather By  the  way,  Mr.  Hug,  shall 

you  be  in  town  this  week,  till  the  end  of  the  sessions'? " 

"Ye  —  e  —  s  !  "  hastily  whispered  Hug,  after  glancing 
guiltily  towards  his  brethren,  who,  though  they  did  not 
seem  to  do  so,  were  really  watching  him  with  ill-subdued 
fury. 

"  I  'm  happy  to  hear  it !  —  You  've  heard  of  Aaron 

Doodle,  who  was  committed  for  that  burglary  at 1 

Well,  I  defend  him,  and  shall  be  happy  to  give  you  the 
brief.  Do  you  lead  Mr.  Dolt?  "  Hug  nodded.  "  Then 
he  will  be  your  junior.  Where  are  your  chambers,  Mr. 
Hug?" 

"  No.  4,  Cant  Court,  Gray's  Inn.  When,  my  dear  sir, 
does  the  case  come  on  1 " 

"  Thursday  —  perhaps  Wednesday." 

"  Then  do  come  and  breakfast  with  me,"  quoth  Hug, 
in  a  whisper  —  "  and  we  can  talk  it  over,  you  know,  so 
nicely  together !  " 

"  Sir,  you  're  very  polite.  I  will  do  myself  the  pleas- 
ure "  —  replied  Mr.  Flaw  —  and  good-naturedly  took  wine 
with  Mr.  Hug. 

This  little  stroke  of  business  over,  the  disengaged  couple 
were  at  liberty  to  attend  to  the  general  conversation  of 
the  table.  Mr.  Bluster  and  Mr.  Slang  kept  the  company 
in  almost  a  constant  roar,  with  descriptions  of  scenes  in 
court,  in  which  they  had,  of  course,  been  the  principal 
actors  ;  and  according  to  their  own  accounts  they  must 
have  been  wonderful  fellows.  Such  botherers  of  judges 
—  particularly  aldermen  and  police  magistrates  !  —  Such 
bafflers  and  browbeaters  of  witnesses  !  —  Such  bamboozlers 
of  juries  ! 

You  should  have  seen  the  sneering  countenance  of  Hug 
all  the  while.  He  never  once  smiled  or  laughed  at  the 
brilliant  sallies  of  his  brethren,  and  did  his  best  to  prevent 
his  new  patron,  Mr.  Flaw,  from  doing  so  —  constantly 


TEN    THOUSAND    A.-YEAB.  401 

putting  his  hand  before  his  mouth,  and  whispering  into 
Mr.  Flaw's  ear  at  the  very  point  of  the  joke  or  story  — 
and  the  smile  would  disappear  from  the  countenance  of 
Mr.   Flaw. 

The  alderman  laughed  till  the  tears  ran  out  of  his  little 
which  he  constantly  wiped  with  his  napkin  !  Amid 
the  general  laughter  and  excitement,  Miss  Quirk,  leaning 
her  chin  on  her  hand,  her  elbow  resting  on  the  table,  seve- 
ral times  directed  soft,  languishing  looks  towards  Titmouse, 
unobserved  by  any  one  but  himself;  and  they  were  not 
entirely  unsuccessful,  although  Titmouse  was  wonderfully 
taken  with  the  stories  of  the  two  counsellors,  and  believed 
them  to  be  two  of  the  greatest  men  he  had  ever  seen  or 
heard  of,  and  at  the  head  of  their  profession. 

•  'Fon  my  soul  —  I  hope,  sir,  you'll  have  those  two 
gents  in  my  case  1 "  said  he,  earnestly,  to  Gammon. 

••  Unfortunately,  your  case  will  not  come  on  in  their 
courts,"  said  Gammon,  with  a  very  expressive  smile. 

••Why,  can't  it  come  on  where  I  choose?  —  or  when 
you  like  I"  inquired  Titmouse,  surprisedly. 

Mr.  Quirk  had  been  soured  during  the  wdiole  of  dinner, 
for  he  had  anxiously  desired  to  have  Titmouse  sit  beside 
him  at  the  bottom  of  the  table  ;  but  in  the  little  hub- 
bub attendant  upon  coming  down  to  dinner  and  taking 
places,  Titmouse  slipped  out  of  sight  for  a  minute ;  and 
when  all  were  placed,  Quirk's  enraged  eye  perceived  him 
seated  in  the  middle  of  the  table,  beside  Gammon.  Gam- 
mon always  got  hold  of  Titmouse  !  —  Old  Quirk  could 
have  Hung  a  decanter  at  his  head.  —  In  his  own  house! 
—  at  his  own  table  !  Always  anticipating  and  circum- 
venting him. 

••  Mr.  ' J u i rk ,  I  don't  think  we  've  taken  a  glass  of  wine 
we  1  "  said  Gammon,  blandly  and  cor- 
dially, at  the  same  time  pouring  one  out  for  himself.  He 
perfectly  well  knew  what  was  annoying  his  respected 
vol.  r.  —  26 


402  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

partner,  whose  look  of  quaint  embarrassment,  when  so 
suddenly  assailed,  infinitely  amused  him.  "  Catch  me 
asking  you  here  again,  Master  Gammon/'  thought  Quirk, 
"  with  Titmouse  ! "  The  reason  why  Mr.  Snap  had  not 
been  asked  was,  that  Quirk  had  some  slight  cause  to  sus- 
pect his  having  presumptuously  conceived  the  notion  of 
paying  his  addresses  to  Miss  Quirk  —  a  thing  at  any  time 
not  particularly  palatable  to  Mr.  Quirk;  but  in  the 
present  conjuncture  of  circumstances  quite  out  of  the 
question,  and  intolerable  even  in  idea.  Snap  was  not 
slow  in  guessing  the  reason  of  his  exclusion,  which  had 
greatly  mortified,  and  also  not  a  little  alarmed  him.  As 
far  as  he  could  venture,  he  had,  during  the  week,  en- 
deavored to  "set"  Titmouse  "against"  Miss  Quirk,  by 
such  faint  disparaging  remarks  and  insinuations  as  he 
dared  venture  upon  with  so  difficult  a  subject  as  Tit- 
mouse, whom  he  at  the  same  time  inflamed  by  repre- 
sentations of  the  splendid  matches  he  might  very  soon 
command  among  the  highest  women  of  the  land.  By 
these  means  Snap  had,  to  a  certain  extent,  succeeded  ;  but 
the  few  melting  glances  which  had  fallen  upon  Titmouse's 
sensitive  bosom  from  the  eyes  of  Miss  Quirk,  were  begin- 
ning to  operate  a  slight  change  in  his  feelings.  The  old 
alderman,  on  an  intimation  that  the  "  ladies  were  going 
to  withdraw,"  laid  violent  hands  on  Miss  Quirk,  (he  was 
a  "  privileged  "  old  fool,)  and  insisted  on  her  singing  his 
favorite  song  —  "  My  Friend  and  Pitcher  "  /  /  His  re- 
quest was  so  warmly  seconded  by  the  rest  of  the  com- 
pany —  Titmouse  loud  and  eager  as  any  —  that  she  was 
fain  to  comply.  She  sang  with  some  sweetness,  and 
much  self-possesssion ;  and  carried  Titmouse's  feelings 
along  with  her  from  the  beginning,  as  Gammon,  who 
was  watching  him,  perceived. 

"  Most    uncommon  lovely  gal,  is  n't  she  1 "  whispered 
Titmouse,  with  great  vivacity. 


TEX    THOUSAND   A-YEAR.  403 

"Very  !  "  replied  Gammon,  dryly,  with  a  slight  smile. 

'•Shall  I  call  out  tncortt  A'n't  that  the  word  1  'pon 
il,   most  lovely  gall     She  must  sing  it  again!" 

*•  X.',  no  —  she  wishes  to  go  —  'tis  not  usual:  she 
will  sing  it  for  you,  I  dare  say,  this  evening,  if  you  ask 
her." 

M  Well  —  most  charming  gal !  —  Lovely  !  " 

"  Have  patience,  my  dear  Titmouse,"  said  Gammon,  in 
a  low  whisper,  "  in  a  few  months'  time  you  '11  soon  be 
thrown  into  much  higher  life  than  even  this —  among 
really  beautiful,  and  rich,  and  accomplished  women  "  — 
[and,  thought  Gammon,  you  '11  resemble  a  monkey  that 
has  found  his  way  into  a  rich  tulip-bed  !] 

11  Fancy  that  girl  Tag-rag  standing  beside  Miss  Quirk  ! " 
whispered  Titmouse,  scornfully. 

••  1  la.  ha  !  "  gently  laughed  Gammon  —  "  both  of  them, 
in  their  way,  are  very  worthy  persons;  but"  —  Here  the 
ladies  withdrew.  'T  was  no  part  of  Gammon's  schemes, 
that  Titmouse  should  become  the  son-in-law  of  either 
Quirk  or  Tag-rag.  Mr.  Gammon  had  formed  already, 
vastly  different  plans  for  him  ! 

A-  soon  as  Quirk  had  taken  the  head  of  the  table,  and 
the  gentlemen  drawn  together,  the  bottles  were  pushed 
round  very  briskly,  accompanied  by  no  fewer  than  three 
different  sorts  of  snuff-boxes,  all  belonging  to  Mr.  Quirk 
—  all  of  them  presents  from  grateful  Old  Bailey  clients  ! 
One  was  a  huge  affair,  of  Botany  Bay  wood,  with  a  very 
flaming  inscription  on  the  inside  of  the  lid  ;  from  which 
it  appeared  that  its  amiable  donors,  who  were  trying  the 
effect  of  a  change  of  climate  on  their  moral  health  at  the 
expense  of  a  grateful  country,  owed  their  valuable  lives 
tu  the  professional  skill  and  exertions  of  "  Caleb  Quirk, 
In  short,  the  other  two  were  trophies  of  a  similar 
[ption,  of  which  their  possessor  was  very  justly  not 
a  little  proud;  and  ai  lie  saw  Titmouse  admiring  them, 


404  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

it  occurred  to  him  as  very  possible  that,  within  a  short 
time,  he  should  be  in  possession  of  a  magnificent  gold 
snuff-box,  in  acknowledgment  of  the  services  he  should 
have  rendered  to  his  distinguished  guest  and  client.  Tit- 
mouse was  in  the  highest  possible  spirits.  This,  his  first 
glimpse  into  high  life,  equalled  all  his  expectations. 
Eound  and  round  went  the  bottles  —  crack  went  joke 
after  joke.  Slang  sang  song  upon  song,  of,  however,  so 
very  coarse  and  broad  a  character  as  infinitely  disgusted 
Gammon,  and  apparently  shocked  the  alderman;  — 
though  I  greatly  distrust  that  old  sinner's  sincerity  in 
the  matter.  Then  Ghastly's  performances  commenced. 
Poor  fellow  !  he  exerted  himself  to  the  utmost  to  earn 
the  good  dinner  he  had  just  devoured  ;  but  when  he 
was  in  the  very  middle  of  one  of  his  most  impassioned 
scenes  —  undoubtedly  "tearing  a  passion  to  rags,"  —  Mr. 
Quirk  interrupted  impatiently  —  "Come,  come,  Ghastly, 
we  've  had  enough  of  that  sort  of  thing  —  it  don't  suit 
—  d  'ye  see  —  at  all !  —  Lord  bless  us  !  —  don't  roar  so, 
man  !  " 

Poor  Ghastly  instantly  resumed  his  seat,  with  a  cha- 
grined and  melancholy  air. 

"  Give  us  something  funny,"  snuffled  the  alderman. 

"  Let 's  have  the  chorus  of  Pigs  and  Ducks,"  said  Quirk  ; 
"  you  do  that  remarkable  well.  I  could  fancy  the  animals 
were  running,  and  squealing,  and  quacking  all  about  the 
room!"  The  actor  respectfully  did  as  he  was  desired, 
commencing  with  a  sigh,  and  was  much  applauded.  At 
length  Gammon  happened  to  get  into  a  discussion  with 
Mr.  Bluster  upon  some  point  connected  with  the  Habeas 
Corpus  Act,  in  which  our  friend  Gammon,  who  never  got 
heated  in  discussion,  and  was  very  accurate  in  whatever 
he  knew,  had  glaringly  the  best  of  it.  His  calm,  smiling 
self-possession  almost  drove  poor  Bluster  frantic.  The  ■ 
less  he  knew,  of  course  the  louder  he  talked,  the  more 


TEX    THOUSAND    A-YEAR.  405 

vehement  and  positive  he  became  ;  at  length  offering  a 
bet  that  then  was  qo  such  thing  as  a  writ  of  Habeas  Cor- 
pus before  the  time  of  Charles  EL;*  at  which  Gammon 
bowed,  smiled,  and  closed  the  discussion.  While  engaged 
in  it,  he  had  of  course  been  unable  to  keep  his  eye  upon 
Titmouse,  who  drank,  consequently,  claret,  port,  sherry, 
and  madeira,  like  a  little  iish,  never  letting  the  decanter 
pass  him.    Everyone  about  him  filled  his  glass  every  time 

—  why   should   not   he  I 

Hug  sat  next  to  Viper;  feared  him,  and  avoided  dis- 
D  with  him  ;  for,  though  they  agreed  in  the  lowest 
sal  politics,  they  had  a  personal  antipathy  each  to 
the  other.  In  spite  of  their  wishes,  they  at  length  got 
entangled  in  a  very  virulent  controversy,  and  said  so 
many  insulting  things  to  each  other,  that  the  rest  of  the 
company,  who  had  for  some  time  been  amused,  got  at 
length  —  not  disgusted  —  but  alarmed,  for  the  possible 
results  —  fully  expecting  the  exchange  of  a  brace  of  wine- 
glasses against  each  other's  heads!  Mr.  Quirk  therefore 
interfered. 

"Bravo  !  bravo  !  bravo  !  "  he  exclaimed,  as  Viper  con- 
cluded a  most  envenomed  passage,  "  that  will  do,  Viper  — 
whip  it  into  the  next  Flash  —  'twill  be  a  capital  leader! 
It  will  produce  a  sensation  !  And  in  the  mean  time,  gen- 
tlemen, let  me  request  you  to  fill  your  glasses  —  bumpers 

—  for  I  have  a  toast  to  propose,  in  which  you  '11  all  feel 
interested  when  you   hear  who's  the  subject  of  it.     It 

gentleman  who  is  likely  soon  to  be  elevated  to  a 
station  which  Nature  has  formed  him  —  hem!  hem!  — 

to  adorn  " 

"  Mr.  Quirk's  proposing  your  health,  Titmouse  !  "  whis- 
pered Gammon  to  his  companion,  who,  having  been  very 
restless  for  some  time,  had  at  length  become  quite  si- 
lent—  his  head  resting  on  his  hand,  his  elbow  on  the 
table  —  his  eyes  languidly  half  open,  and  his  face  exceed- 


406  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR, 

ingly  pale.     Gammon  saw  that  he  was,  in  truth,  in  an 
exceedingly  ticklish  condition. 

"I  —  wish  —  you  'd  —  let  me  —  go  out  —  I  'm  devilish 
ill "  —  said  Titmouse,  faintly*  Gammon  made  a  signal  to 
Quirk,  who  instantly  ceased  his  speech  ;  and  coming  down 
to  Titmouse,  he  and  Gammon  hastily  led  that  gentleman 
out  of  the  room  and  into  the  nearest  bed-chamber,  where 
he  began  to  be  very  ill  indeed,  and  so  continued  for  sev- 
eral hours.  Old  Quirk,  who  was  a  long-headed  man,  was 
delighted  by  this  occurrence ;  for  he  saw  that  if  he  in- 
sisted on  Titmouse's  being  put  to  bed,  and  passing  the 
night  —  and  perhaps  the  next  day  —  at  Alibi  House,  it 
would  enable  Miss  Quirk  to  bring  her  attractions  to  bear 
upon  him  effectively,  by  exhibiting  those  delicate  and  en- 
dearing attentions  which  are  so  soothing  and  indeed  ne- 
cessary to  an  invalid.  Titmouse  continued  desperately 
indisposed  during  the  whole  of  the  night ;  and,  early  in 
the  morning,  it  was  thought  advisable  to  send  for  a  medi- 
cal man,  who  pronounced  Titmouse  to  be  in  danger  of  a 
bilious  fever,  and  to  require  rest  and  care  and  medical 
attendance  for  some  days  to  come.  This  was  rather  "  too 
much  of  a  good  thing"  for  old  Quirk;  but  there  was  no 
remedy.  Foreseeing  that  Titmouse  would  be  thrown  con- 
stantly, for  some  little  time  to  come,  into  Miss  Quirk's 
company,  her  prudent  parent  enjoined  upon  Mrs.  Alias, 
his  sister,  the  necessity  of  impressing  on  his  daughter's 
mind  the  great  uncertainty  which,  after  all,  existed  as  to 
Titmouse's  prospects ;  and  the  consequent  necessity  there 
was  for  her  to  regulate  her  conduct  with  a  view  to  either 
failure  or  success  —  to  keep  her  affections,  as  it  were,  in 
abeyance.  But  the  fact  was,  that  Miss  Quirk  had  so  often 
heard  the  subject  of  Titmouse's  brilliant  expectations 
talked  of  by  her  father,  and  knew  so  well  his  habitual 
prudence  and  caution,  that  she  looked  upon  Titmouse's 
speedy  possession  of  ten  thousand  a-year  as  a  matter  al- 


TEX    THOUSAND    A-YKAK.  407 

most  of  certainty.  She  was  a  girl  of  some  natural  shrewd- 
but  of  an  early  inclination  to  maudlin  sentimentality. 
Had  she  been  blest  with  the  vigilant  and  affectionate  care 
of  a  mother  as  she  grew  up,  (that  parent  having  died 
when  Miss  Quirk  was  but  a  child.)  and  been  thrown  among 
a  set  of  people  different  from  those  who  constantly  visited 
at  Alibi  Bouse  —  and  of  whom  a  very  favorable  specimen 
has  been  laid  before  the  reader  —  Miss  Quirk  might  really 
have  become  a  very  sensible  and  agreeable  girl.  As  it 
Was,  her  manners  had  contracted  a  certain  coarseness, 
which  at  length  overspread  her  whole  character;  and  the 
selfish  and  mercenary  motives  by  which  she  could  not 
fail  to  perceive  all  her  father's  conduct  regulated,  gradu- 
ally infected  herself.  She  resolved,  therefore,  to  be  gov- 
erned by  the  considerations  so  urgently  pressed  upon  her 
by  both  her  father  and  her  aunt. 

It  was  several  days  before  Titmouse  was  allowed,  by  his 
medical  man,  to  quit  his  bedroom  ;  and  it  is  impossible 
for  any  woman  not  to  be  touched  by  the  sight  of  a  sudden 
change  effected  in  a  man's  appearance  by  severe  indisposi- 
tion and  suffering,  even  be  that  man  so  poor  a  creature 
as  Titmouse.  He  was  very  pale,  and  considerably  re- 
duced by  the  serious  nature  of  the  attack,  and  of  the 
powerful  treatment  with  which  it  had  been  encountered. 
When  he  made  his  first  appearance  before  Miss  Quirk,  one 
afternoon,  with  somewhat  feeble  gait,  and  a  languid  air 
which  mitigated,  if  it  did  not  obliterate,  the  foolish  and 
conceited  expression  of  his  features,  she  really  regarded  him 
with  something  akin  to  interest  ;  and,  though  she  might 
hardly  have  owned  it  even  to  herself,  his  expected  good 
fortune  invested  him  with  a  sort  of  subdued  radiance. 
T  <-y<<ar!  —  Miss  Quirk's  heart  fluttered  !    By 

the  time  that  he  was  well  enough  to  take  his  departure, 
she  had,  at  his  request,  read  over  to  him  nearly  half  of 
that  truly  interesting  work,  — the  Newgate  Calendar;  she 


408  TEN    THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

had  sung  to  him  and  played  to  him  whatever  he  asked  her ; 
and,  in  short,  she  felt  that  if  she  could  but  be  certain 
that  he  would  gain  his  great  lawsuit,  and  step  into  ten 
thousand  a-year,  she  could  love  him.  She  insisted,  on  the 
day  of  his  quitting  Alibi  House,  that  he  should  write  in 
her  album ;  and  he  very  readily  complied.  It  was  nearly 
ten  minutes  before  he  could  get  a  pen  to  suit  him.  At 
length  he  succeeded,  and  left  the  following  interesting  me- 
mento of  himself  in  the  very  centre  of  a  fresh  page  :  — 

"Tittlebat  Titmouse  Is  My  name, 
England  Is  My  Nation, 
London  Is  My  dwelling- Place, 
And  Christ  Is  My  Salvation. 

"Tittlebat  Titmouse, 
"  halibi  lodge." 

Miss  Quirk  turned  pale  with  astonishment  and  vexa- 
tion on  seeing  this  elegant  and  striking  addition  to  her 
album.  Titmouse,  on  the  contrary,  looked  at  it  with  no 
little  pride ;  for  having  had  a  capital  pen,  and  his  heart 
being  in  his  task,  he  had  produced  what  he  conceived  to 
be  a  very  superior  specimen  of  penmanship  :  in  fact,  the 
signature  was  by  far  the  best  he  had  ever  written.  When 
he  had  gone,  Miss  Quirk  was  twenty  times  on  the  point 
of  tearing  out  the  leaf  which  had  been  so  dismally  dis- 
figured ;  but  on  her  father  coming  home  in  the  evening, 
he  laughed  heartily  —  "  and  as  to  tearing  it  out,"  said  he, 
"  let  us  first  see  which  way  the  verdict  goes  !  " 

Titmouse  became,  after  this,  a  pretty  frequent  visitor 
at  Alibi  House ;  growing  more  and  more  attached  to  Miss 
Quirk,  who,  however,  conducted  herself  towards  him  with 
much  judgment.  His  inscription  on  her  album  had  done 
a  vast  deal  towards  cooling  down  the  ardor  with  which 
she  had  been  disposed  to  regard  even  the  future  owner  of 
ten  thousand  a-year.  Poor  Snap  seemed  to  have  lost  all 
chance,  being  treated  with  greater  coldness  by  Miss  Quirk 


TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAK.  409 

on  every  succeeding  visit  to  Alibi  House.  At  this  he  was 
sorely  discomfited  j  for  she  would  have  whatever  money 
her  father  might  die  possessed  of,  besides  a  commanding 

interest  in  the  partnership  business.  'T  was  a  difficult 
thing  for  him  to  preserve  his  temper  under  such  circum- 
stances, in  his  close  intimacy  with  Titmouse,  who  had  so 

>usly  interfered  with  his  prospects. 
The  indisposition  I  have  been  mentioning,  prevented 
Titmouse  from  paying  his  promised  visit  to  Satin  Lodge. 
On  returning  to  his  lodgings  from  Alibi  House,  he  found 
that  Tag-rag  had  either  called  or  sent  every  day  to  in- 
quire after  him  with  the  most  affectionate  anxiety;  and 
one  or  two  notes  lying  on  his  table  apprised  him  of  the 
lively  distress  which  the  ladies  of  Satin  Lodge  were  en- 
during on  his  account,  and  implored  him  to  lose  not  a 
moment  in  communicating  the  state  of  his  health,  and 
personally  assuring  them  of  his  safety.  Though  the  image 
of  Miss  Quirk  was  continually  before  his  eyes,  Titmouse, 
nevertheless,  had  cunning  enough  not  to  drop  the  slight- 
est hint  to  the  Tag-rags  of  the  true  state  of  his  feelings. 
Whenever  any  inquiry,  with  ill-disguised  anxiety,  was 
made  by  Mrs.  Tag-rag  concerning  Alibi  House  and  its  in- 
mates, Titmouse  would,  to  be  sure,  mention  Miss  Quirk, 
but  in  such  a  careless  and  slighting  way  as  gave  great 
consolation  and  encouragement  to  Tag-rag,  his  wife,  and 

*er.  ''Miss  Quirk,"  he  said,  "was  well  enough  — 
but  devilish  fat !  "  —  When  at  Mr.  Quirk's,  he  spoke  some- 
what unreservedly  of  the  amiable  inmates  of  Satin  Lodge, 
two  mansions  were  almost  the  only  private  resi- 
dences visited  by  Titmouse,  who  spent  his  time  much  in 
the  way  which  I  have  already  described.  How  he  got 
"js  I  can  hardly  tell.  At  his  lodgings  he 
got  up  very  lute,  and  went  to  bed  very  late.  He  never 
read  anything  excepting  occasionally  a  song-book  lent  him 

ip,  or  a  novel,  or  some  such  book  as  "  Boxiana,"  from 


410  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAE. 

the  circulating  library,  and  the  Sunday  Flash.  Dawdling 
over  his  dress  and  his  breakfast,  then  whistling  and  hum- 
ming and  looking  out  of  the  window,  took  up  so  much  of 
every  day  as  he  passed  at  his  lodgings.  The  rest  was  spent 
in  idling  about  the  town,  looking  in  at  shop  windows,  and 
now  and  then  going  to  some  petty  exhibition  —  as  of  spar- 
ring, cock-fighting,  etc.  When  evening  came,  he  was 
generally  joined  by  Snap,  when  they  would  spend  the 
night  together  in  the  manner  I  have  already  described. 
As  often  as  he  dared,  he  called  at  Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon, 
and  Snap's  office  at  Saffron  Hill,  worrying  them  not  a 
little  by  inquiries  concerning  the  state  of  his  affairs,  and 
the  cause  of  the  delay  in  commencing  proceedings.  As 
for  Huckaback,  by  the  way,  Titmouse  cut  him  entirely  ; 
saying  that  he  was  a  devilish  low  fellow,  and  it  was  no 
use  knowing  him.  He  made  many  desperate  efforts,  both 
personally  and  by  letter,  to  renew  his  acquaintance  with 
Titmouse,  but  in  vain.  I  may  as  well  mention,  by  the 
way,  that  as  soon  as  Snap  got  scent  of  the  little  money 
transaction  between  his  friend  and  Huckaback,  he  called 
upon  the  latter,  and  tendering  him  twelve  shillings,  de- 
manded up  the  document  which  he  had  extorted  from 
Titmouse.  Huckaback  held  out  obstinately  for  some  time 
—  but  Snap  was  too  much  for  him,  and  talked  in  such  a 
formidable  strain  about  an  indictment  for  a  conspiracy  (!) 
and  fraud,  that  Huckaback  at  length  consented,  on  receiv- 
ing twelve  shillings,  to  deliver  up  the  document  to  Snap, 
on  condition  of  Snap's  destroying  it  on  the  spot.  This  was 
done,  and  so  ended  all  intercourse  —  at  least  on  this  side 
of  the  grave  —  between  Titmouse  (as  far,  at  least,  as  his 
intentions  went)  and  Huckaback. 

The  sum  allowed  by  Messrs.  Quirk  and  Gammon  to  Tit- 
mouse, was  amply  sufficient  to  have  kept  him  in  comfort ; 
but  it  never  would  have  enabled  him  to  lead  the  kind  of 
life  which  I  have  described  —  and  he  would  certainly  have 


TEX   THOUSAND    A-YEAK.  411 

got  very  awkwardly  involved,  had  it  not  been  for  the  kind- 
ness oi%  Sua])  in  advancing  him,  from  time  to  time,  such 
sums  as  his  exigencies  required.  In  fact,  matters  went 
00  as  quietly  and  smoothly  as  possible  for  several  months 
—  till  about  the  middle  o(  November  ;  when  an  event  oc- 
curred which  seemed  to  threaten  the  total  demolition  of 
all   his  hopes  and  expectations. 

He  had  not  seen  or  heard  from  Messrs.  Quirk  or  Gam- 
mon for  nearly  a  fortnight;  Snap  he  had  not  seen  for 
nearly  a  week.  At  length  he  ventured  to  make  his  ap- 
pearance at  Saffron  Hill,  and  was  received  with  a  start- 
ling  coldness  —  a  stern  abruptness  of  manner  —  which 
frightened  him  out  of  his  wits.  All  the  three  partners 
were  alike  —  as  for  Snap,  the  contrast  between  his  pres- 
ent and  his  former  manner,  was  perfectly  shocking  :  he 
seemed  quite  another  person.  The  fact  was,  that  the  full 
statement  of  Titmouse's  claims  had  been  laid  before  Mr. 
Subtle,  the  leading  counsel  retained  in  his  behalf,  for  his 
opinion  on  the  case  generally,  before  actually  commencing 
proceedings  ;  and  the  partners  were  indeed  thunderstruck 
on  receiving  that  opinion  ;  for  Mr.  Subtle  pointed  out  a 
radical  deficiency  of  proof  in  a  matter  which,  as  soon  as 
their  attention  was  thus  pointedly  called  to  it,  Messrs. 
Quirk  and  Gammon  were  amazed  at  their  having  over- 
looked, and  still  more  at  its  having  escaped  the  notice  of 
Mr.  Tresayle,  Mr.  Mortmain,  and  Mr.  Frankpledge.  Mr. 
Quirk  hurried  with  the  opinion  to  the  first  two  of  these 
gentlemen  ;  and  after  a  long  interview  with  each,  they 
owned  their  fears  that  Mr.  Subtle  was  right,  and  that  the 
defect  seemed  incurable  ;  but  they  easily  satisfied  their 
agitated  clients,  that  they  —  the  aforesaid  Messrs.  Tresayle 
and  Mortmain — had  been  guilty  of  neither  oversight  nor 
nee,  inasmuch  as  the  matter  in  question  was  one  of 
aly  —  one  which  a  nisi  print  lawyer,  with  a  full 
detail  of  "proofs  "  before  him,  could  hardly  fail  to  light 


412  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

upon  — but  which,  it  would  be  found,  had  been  assumed, 
and  taken  for  granted,  in  the  cases  laid  before  convey- 
ancers. They  promised,  however,  to  turn  it  over  in 
their  minds,  and  to  let  Messrs.  Quirk  and  Gammon  know 
if  anything  occurred  to  vary  their  impression.  A  week 
elapsed,  however,  and  Mr.  Tresayle  and  Mr.  Mortmain 
preserved  an  ominous  silence.  As  for  Frankpledge,  he 
had  a  knack,  somehow  or  another,  of  always  coming  to 
the  conclusion  wished  and  hoped  for  by  his  clients ;  and, 
after  prodigious  pains,  he  wrote  a  very  long  opinion,  to 
show  that  there  was  nothing  in  the  objection.  Neither 
Mr.  Quirk  nor  Mr.  Gammon  could  understand  the  process 
by  which  Mr.  Frankpledge  arrived  at  such  a  result ;  but, 
in  despair,  they  laid  his  opinion  before  Mr.  Subtle,  in  the 
shape  of  a  further  "  Case  for  his  Opinion."  It  was  in  a 
few  days*  time  returned  to  them,  with  only  a  line  or  two 

—  thus :  — 

"  I  see  no  reason  whatever  to  depart  from  the  view  I  have 
already  taken  of  this  case.  —  J.  S." 

Here  was  something  like  a  dead  lock,  indeed  ! 

"  We  're  done,  Gammon  !  "  said  Quirk,  with  a  dismayed 
air.     Gammon  seemed  lost,  and  made  no  answer. 

"Does  anything  —  eh  1  "  quoth  Quirk,  with  a  troubled 
air.  "  Anything  occur  to  you  1  Gammon,  I  will  say  this 
for  you  —  you  're  a  long-headed  fellow  !  "  Still  Gammon 
spoke  not. 

"Gammon!  Gammon!     I  really  believe  —  ah?  —  you 

—  you  —  begin  to  see  something  —  don't  you?" 

"  It 's  to  be  done,  Mr.  Quirk  !  "  said  Gammon,  at  length, 
with  a  grave  and  apprehensive  look,  and  a  cheek  which 
had  suddenly  grown  pale. 

"  Eh  1  how  1  Oh,  I  see  !  —  Know  what  you  mean,  Gam- 
mon," replied  Quirk,  with  a  hurried  whisper,  glancing  at 
both  doors  to  see  that  they  were  safe. 


TEN    THOUSAND    A-YEAR.  413 

"We  must  resume  our  intercourse  with  Titmouse,  and 
let  matters  go  on  as  before,"  said  Gammon,  with  a  very 
anxious,   but,   at   the   same   time,   a  determined  air. 

"I  —  I  wonder  if  what  has  occurred  to  you  is  what  has 
occurred  to  me  I"  inquired  Quirk,  in  an  eager  whisper. 

••  Pooh  :  pooh  !  Mr.  Quirk." 

"Gammon,  dear  Gammon,  no  mystery!  You  know  I 
have   a   very  deep  stake   in  this  matter  !  " 

••  So  have  I,  Mr.  Quirk,"  replied  Gammon,  witli  a  sigh. 
M  However w  —  Here  the  partners  put  their  heads  close 
bher,  and  whispered  to  each  other  in  a  low,  earnest 
tone,  for  some  minutes.  Quirk  rose  from  his  seat,  and 
took  two  or  three  turns  about  the  room  in  silence,  Gam- 
mon watching  him  calmly. 

To  his  inexpressible  relief  and  joy,  within  a  few  hours 
of  the  happening  of  the  above  colloquy,  Titmouse  found 
himself  placed  on  precisely  his  former  footing  with 
Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon,  and  Snap. 

In  order  to  bring  on  the  cause  for  trial  at  the  next 

spring  assizes,  it  was  necessary  that  the   declaration  in 

ejectment  should  be  served  on  the  tenant  in  possession 

before  Hilary  term  ;  and,  in  a  matter  of  such  magnitude, 

it   was  deemed  expedient  that   Snap  should  proceed  to 

-hire,  and  personally  effect  the  service  in  question. 

In  consequence,  also,  of  some  very  important  suggestions 

the  evidence,  given  by  the  junior  in  the  cause,  (Mr. 

Lynx.)  it  was  arranged  that  Snap  should  go  down  about 

lie  time  iixed  upon  for  effecting  the  service, 

and  make  quietly  certain  minute  inquiries  in  the  neighbor- 

>f  Vatt-ni.      Aa  Boon  as  Titmouse  had  heard  of  this 

movement  —  that  Snap  was  going  direct  to  Yatton,  the 

scene  of  his,  Titmouse's,  future  greatness  —  he  made  the 

pertinacious  and  vehement    entreaties  to   Messrs. 

Quirk  and  <  rammon  to  be  allowed  to  accompany  him,  even 

2    down  on  his  knees.     There  was  no  resisting  this  ; 


414  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAK. 

but  they  exacted  from  him  a  solemn  pledge  that  he  would 
place  himself  entirely  at  the  disposal  of  Mr.  Snap ;  go 
under  some  feigned  name,  and,  in  short,  neither  say  nor 
do  anything  tending  to  disclose  their  real  character  or 
errand. 

Snap  and  Titmouse  established  themselves  at  the  Hare 
and  Hounds  Inn  at  Grilston  ;  and  the  former  immediately 
began,  cautiously  and  quietly,  to  collect  such  evidence  as 
he  could  discover.  One  of  the  first  persons  to  whom  he 
went  was  old  Blind  Bess.  His  many  pressing  questions 
at  length  stirred  up  in  the  old  woman's  mind  faint  con- 
fused recollections  of  long-forgotten  names,  persons,  places, 
scenes,  and  associations,  thereby  producing  an  agitation 
not  easily  to  be  got  rid  of,  and  which  had  by  no  means 
subsided  when  Dr.  Tatham  and  Mr.  Aubrey  paid  her  the 
Christmas-day  visit,  which  has  been  described. 


TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR.  415 


CHAPTEE   XL 

TnE  reader  has  had,  already,  pretty  distinct  indications  of 
the  manner  in  which  Titmouse  and  Snap  conducted  them- 
selves during  their  stay  in  Yorkshire;  and  which,  I  fear, 
have  not  tended  to  raise  either  of  these  gentlemen  in  the 
reader's  estimation.  Titmouse  manifested  a  very  natural 
anxiety  to  see  the  present  occupants  of  Yatton  ;  and  it 
was  with  infinite  difficulty  that  Snap  could  prevent  him 
IV.  au  sneaking  about  in  the  immediate  neighborhood  of  the 
Hall,  with  the  hope  of  seeing  them.  His  first  encounter 
with  Mr.  and  Miss  Aubrey  was  entirely  accidental,  as  the 
reader  may  remember  ;  and  when  he  found  that  the  lady 
on  horseback  near  Yatton,  and  the  lady  whom  he  had 
striven  to  attract  the  notice  of  in  Hyde  Park,  were  one 
and  the  same  beautiful  woman,  and  that  that  beauti- 
ful woman  was  neither  more  nor  less  than  the  sister  of 
the  present  owner  of  Yatton  —  the  marvellous  discovery 
created  a  mighty  pother  in  his  little  feelings.  The  blaze 
of  Kate  Aubrey's  beauty  in  an  instant  consumed  the  im- 
ages both  of  Tabitha  Tag-rag  and  Dora  Quirk.  It  even 
while  outshone  the  splendors  of  ten  thousand  a- 
year  :  such  is  the  inexpressible  and  incalculable  power  of 
woman's  beauty  over  everything  in  the  shape  of  man  — 
over  even  so  despicable  a  sample  of  him,  as  Tittlebat 
Titmouse. 

While  putting  in  practice  some  of  those  abominable 
tricks  to  which,  under  Snap's  tutelage,  Titmouse  had 
become   accustomed   in   walking  the  streets  of   London, 


416  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAK. 

and  from  which  even  the  rough  handling  they  had  got 
from  farmer  Hazel  could  not  turn  him,  Titmouse  at 
length,  as  has  been  seen,  most  unwittingly  fell  foul  of 
that  fair  creature,  Catherine  Aubrey  herself;  who  seemed 
truly  like  an  angelic  messenger,  returning  from  her  er- 
rand of  sympathy  and  mercy,  and  suddenly  beset  by  a 
little  imp  of  darkness.  When  Titmouse  discovered  who 
was  the  object  of  his  audacious  and  revolting  advances, 
his  soul  (such  as  it  was)  seemed  petrified  within  him  ;  and 
it  was  fortunate  that  the  shriek  of  Miss  Aubrey's  attend- 
ant at  length  startled  him  into  a  recollection  of  a  pair  of 
heels,  to  which  he  was  that  evening  indebted  for  an  escape 
from  a  most  murderous  cudgelling,  which  might  have  been 
attended  with  one  effect  not  contemplated  by  him  who 
inflicted  it,  (so  profoundly  in  the  dark  are  we  as  to  the 
causes  and  consequences  of  human  actions ;)  viz.  the  re- 
tention of  the  Aubreys  in  the  possession  of  Yatton  !  Tit- 
mouse ran  for  nearly  half  a  mile  on  the  high-road  towards 
Grilston,  without  stopping.  He  dared  not  venture  to  re- 
turn to  Yatton,  with  the  sound  of  the  lusty  farmer's  voice 
in  his  ears,  to  get  back  from  the  Aubrey  Arms  the  horse 
which  had  brought  him  that  afternoon  from  Grilston,  to 
which  place,  therefore,  he  walked  on,  through  the  snow 
and  darkness ;  reaching  his  inn  in  a  perfect  panic,  from 
which,  at  length,  a  tumbler  of  stiff  brandy  and  water,  with 
two  or  three  cigars,  somewhat  relieved  him.  Forgetful 
of  the  solemn  pledge  which  he  had  given  to  Messrs.  Quirk, 
Gammon,  and  Snap,  not  to  disclose  his  name  or  errand, 
and  it  never  once  occurring  to  him  that  if  he  would  but 
keep  his  own  counsel,  Miss  Aubrey  could  never  identify 
him  with  the  ruffian  who  had  assailed  her ;  Titmouse  spent 
the  interval  between  eight  and  twelve  o'clock,  at  which 
latter  hour  the  coach  by  which  he  had  resolved  to  return 
to  London  would  pass  through  Grilston,  in  inditing  the 
following  letter  to  Miss  Aubrey  :  — 


TEX  THOUSAND  A-YEAK.  417 

"  Grilston,  January  Gth,  18  —  . 
••  Honored  M 

••  Hoping  No  Offence  Will  Be  Taken  where  None  is  meant, 
(which  <im   s  .»  Tiiis  1  Bend  To  Bay  Who  I  Am  which-, 

Is  the  Right  And  True  Owner  of  Fatton  which  You  Enjoy 
Amongst  You  All  At  This  present  (Till  The  Law  Give  it  to 

Me)  Which  It  quickly  Will,  and   No  Mistake,  And  which  It 
Ought  to  Have  done  When  1  were  First  born  And   Before  Y' 

te.  Family  ever  fame  into  it,  And  All  which  Yr  hon4. 
Brother  Have  so  unlawfully  Got  Possession  Of  must  Come  Back 
to  Them  Whose  Due  It  is  wh  Is  myself  as  will  be  Soon  prov*. 
And  wh  am  most  truely  Sorry  Of  on  your  own  Ace*.  (Meaning 
(hon4.  Miss)  you  Alone)  as  Sure  As  Yatton  is  Intirely  Mine 
S  i  My  Heart  Is  yours  and  No  Longer  my  Own  Ever  since  I 
Saw  You  first  as  Can  Easily  prove  but  wh  doubtless  You  Have 
forgot  Seeing  You  Never  New,  because  (as  Mr.  Gammon,  My 
Sollicker  And  a  Very  Great  Lawyer,  says)  Cases  Alter  Circum- 

.  what  Can  I  say  More  Than  that  I  Love  you  Most  Amaz- 
ing Such  As  Never  Thought  Myself  Capable  of  Doing  Before 
and  wh  cannot  help  Ever  Since  I  First  saw  your  most  Lovely 
and  Divine  and  striking  Face  wh  have  Stuck  In  my  Mind  Ever 
Since  Day  and  NigliiT  keeping  and  Waking  I  will  Take  my 
Oath  Never  Of  Having  Lov'd  Any  one  Else,  Though  (must 
Say)  have  Had  a  Wonderful  Many  Offers  From  Females  of  The 
Highest  Hank  Since  my  Truely  Wonderful  Good  fortune  got 
Talked  About  every  Where  but  have  Refused  Them  All  for  if 
.'.  ad  Would  All  the  World  But  you.    When  I  Saw  You  on 

ack  It  was  All  my  Sudden  confusion  In  Seeing  you  (the 
Other  Cent,  was  One  of  my  Respe  Solicitors)  wh  Threw  Me  off 
in  that  Ridiculous  Way  wh  was  a  Great  Mortification  And  made 
My  brute  Of  A  horse  go  on  so.  For  I  Remembered  You  and  was 
Wonderful  struck  with  Your  Improved  Appearance  (As  that  Same 
Gent,  can  Testify)  And  you  was  (Hond.  Miss)  Quite  Wrong 
To  Night  when  Yon  Spoke  bo  Uncommon  Angry  To  Me,  seeing 
If  I  Had  (July  Known  What  Female  It  Was  (meaning  your- 
self  which  I  respect  So)  out  so  Late  Alone  I  should  Have  spoke 
quite  Different  So  hope  You  Will  think  Nothing  More  Of  that 
Truely  Unpleasant  /•>■  nt  Now  (Hon1.  Madam)  What  I  have  to 
Bay  I-  if  STou  will  Please  to  Condescend  To  Yield  To  My  De- 
V'.l.  I. —  27 


418  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

sire  We  Can  Live  Most  uncommon  Comfortable  at  Yatton  To- 
gether wh  Place  shall  Have  Great  Pleasure  (if  you  please)  in 
Marrying  You  From  and  I  may  (perhaps)  Do  Something  hand- 
some for  yr.  respectable  Brother  and  Family,  wh  can  Often  Come 
to  see  us  And  Live  in  the  Neighborhood,  if  You  Kef  use  me, 
Will  not  say  What  shall  Happen  to  Those  which  (am  Told) 
Owe  me  a  Precious  Long  Figure  wh  May  (perhaps)  Make  a  Hand- 
some Abatement  in,  if  You  And  I  Hit  it, 

"  Hoping  You  Will  Forget  What  Have  So  Much  Grievd.  me, 
And  Write  pr.  return  of  Post, 

"Am, 

"hona.  Miss 
"  Yr.  most  Loving  &  Devoted  Servant 
"  (Till  Death) 

"Tittlebat  Titmouse. 
"Particular  Private." 

This  exquisitely  constructed  document  its  accomplished 
writer  sealed  twice,  and  then  left,  together  with  sixpence, 
in  the  hands  of  the  landlady  of  the  Hare  and  Hounds,  to 
"be  delivered  at  Yatton  Hall  the  fkst  thing  in  the  morn- 
ing. The  good  woman,  however  -^Having  no  particular 
wish  to  oblige  such  a  strange  puppy,  *>tfiom  she  was  only 
too  glad  to  get  rid  of,  and  having  moreover  a  good  deal  to 
attend  to  —  laid  the  letter  aside  on  the  chimney-piece,  and 
entirely  lost  sight  of  it  for  nearly  a  fortnight.  Shortly 
after  the  lamentable  tidings  concerning  the  impending  mis- 
fortunes of  the  Aubrey  family  had  been  communicated  to 
the  inhabitants  of  Grilston,  she  forwarded  the  letter,  (little 
dreaming  of  the  character  in  which  its  writer  was  likely, 
erelong,  to  reappear  at  Grilston,)  together  with  one  or  two 
others,  a  day  or  two  after  Miss  Aubrey  had  had  the  in- 
terview with  her  brother  which  I  have  described  to  the 
reader ;  but  it  lay  unnoticed  by  any  one  —  above  all,  by 
the  sweet  sufferer  whose  name  was  indicated  on  it — among 
a  great  number  of  miscellaneous  letters  and  papers  which 
had  been  suffered  to  accumulate  on  the  library  table. 


TEN    THOUSAND    A-YEAR.  419 

Mr.  Aubrey  entered  the  library  ono  morning,  alone,  for 
the  purpose  of  Attending  to  many  matters  which  had  been 
long  neglected.  He  was  evidently  thinner  :  his  face  was 
pale,  and  his  manner  dejected  :  still  there  was  about  him 
an  air  of  calmness  and  resolution.  Through  the  richly- 
pictured  old  stained  -glass  window,  the  mottled  sunbeams 
streaming  in  a  kind  of  tender  radiance  upon  the  dear 
familiar  objects  around  him.  All  was  silent.  Having 
drawn  his  chair  to  the  table,  on  which  was  lying  a  con- 
fused heap  of  letters  and  papers,  he  felt  a  momentary  re- 
pugnance to  enter  upon  the  task  which  he  had  assigned 
to  himself;  and  rose  and  walked  slowly  for  some  time  up 
and  down  the  room,  with  folded  arms,  uttering  occasion- 
ally profound  sighs.  At  length  he  resumed  his  seat,  and 
commenced  the  disheartening  task  of  opening  the  many 
letters  before  him.  One  of  the  earliest  that  came  to  his 
hand  was  from  Peter  Johnson  —  the  old  tenant  to  whom 
he  had  lent  the  sum  of  two  hundred  pounds,  and  it  was 
full  of  fervent  expressions  of  gratitude  and  respect ;  Mr. 
Aubrey's  heart  ached  as  he  read  them.  Then  came  a  let- 
ter, a  fortnight  old,  bearing  the  frank  of  Lord  C ,  the 

Secretary  of  State  for  Foreign  Affairs.     He  opened  it  and 
read  :  — 

"  Whitehall,  16th  January,  18  — . 
<;  My  dear  Aubrey, 

"You  will  remember  that  Lord 's  motion  stands  for  the 

28th.     We  all  venture  to  calculate  upon  receiving  your  power- 
ful support  in  tli»-  debate.    We  <-.\p<'ct  to  be  much  pressed  with 

the  Duke  of 'a  affair,  which  you  handled  shortly  before  the 

with  such  signal  ability  and  success.     When  you  return 
to  town,  you  must  expect  a  renewal  of  certain  offers,  which  I 
sincerely  trust,  for  the  benefit  of  the  public  service,  will 
not  I  declined* 

"Ever  yours  faithfully. 

"C . 

'•  (Private  and  confidential.) 
••  'Uarles  Aubrey,  Esq.  M.  P." 


420  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

Mr.  Aubrey  laid  clown  the  letter  calmly,  as  soon  as  he 
had  read  it ;  and  leaning  back  in  his  chair,  seemed  lost 
in  thought  for  several  minutes.  Presently  he  reapplied 
himself  to  his  task,  and  opened  and  glanced  over  a  great 
many  letters  ;  the  contents  of  several  of  which  occasioned 
him  deep  emotion.  Some  were  from  persons  in  distress 
whom  he  had  assisted,  and  who  implored  a  continuance 
of  his  aid ;  others  were  from  ardent  political  friends  — 
some  sanguine,  others  desponding  —  concerning  the  pros- 
pects of  the  session.  Two  or  three  hinted  that  it  was 
everywhere  reported  that  he  had  been  offered  one  of  the 
under  secretaryships,  and  had  declined ;  but  that  it  was, 
at  the  king's  desire,  to  be  pressed  upon  him.  Many  let- 
ters were  on  private,  and  still  more  on  county,  business ; 
and  with  one  of  them  he  was  engaged  when  a  servant 
entered  with  one  of  that  morning's  county  newspapers. 
Tired  with  his  task,  Mr.  Aubrey  rose  from  his  chair  as 
the  servant  gave  him  the  paper ;  and,  standing  before 
the  fire,  unfolded  the  Yorkshire  Stingo,  and  glanced  list- 
lessly over  its  miscellaneous  contents.  At  length  his  eye 
lit  upon  the  following  paragraph  :  — 

"  The  rumors  so  deeply  affecting  a  member  for  a  certain 
borough  in  this  county,  and  to  which  we  alluded  in  our  last 
paper  but  one,  turn  out  to  be  well  founded.  A  claimant  has 
started  up  to  the  very  large  estates  at  present  held  by  the  gen- 
tleman in  question  ;  and  we  are  much  misinformed  if  the  en- 
suing spring  assizes  will  not  effect  a  considerable  change  in  the 
representation  of  the  borough  alluded  to,  by  relieving  it  from 
the  Tory  thraldom  under  which  it  has  been  so  long  oppressed. 
We  have  no  wish  to  bear  hard  upon  a  falling  man  ;  and,  there- 
fore, shall  make  no  comment  upon  the  state  of  mind  in  which 
that  person  may  be  presumed  to  be,  who  must  be  conscious  of 
having  been  so  long  enjoying  the  just  rights  of  others.  Some 
extraordinary  disclosures  may  be  looked  for  when  the  trial 
comes  on.  We  have  heard  from  a  quarter  on  which  we  are 
disposed  to  place  reliance,  that  the  claimant  is  a  gentleman  of 


TEX    THOUSAND    A-YKAK.  421 

decided  Whig  principles,  and  who  will  prove  a  valuable  acces- 
sion to  the  Liberal  cause."  -1 


Mr.  Aubrey  was  certainly  somewhat  shocked  by  bru- 
tality such  as  this  ;  but  on  Miss  Aubrey's  entering  the 
.  he  quietly  folded  up  the  paper  and  laid  it  aside, 
fearful  lest  his  sister's  feelings  should  be  pierced  by  the 
ooar86  and  cruel  paragraph  which  it  contained.  It  had, 
in  fact,  been  concocted  in  London,  in  the  office  of  Messrs. 
Quirk,  ('.amnion,  and  Snap  ;  who  were,  as  before  stated, 
interested  in  the  Sunday  Flash,  which  was  in  some  sort 
connected,  through  the  relationship  of  the  editors,  with 
the  Yorkshire  Stingo.  The  idea  had  been  suggested  by 
Gammon,  by  way  of  attempting  to  enlist  the  political 
feeling  of  a  portion  of  the  county,  in  favor  of  their 
client. 

"Here  are  several  letters  for  you,  Kate,"  said  her 
brother,  picking  out  several  of  them.  The  very  first  she 
took  up,  it  having  attracted  her  attention  by  the  double 
seal,  and  the  vulgar  style  of  the  handwriting,  was  that 
from  Titmouse,  which  has  just  been  laid  before  the  reader. 
With  much  surprise  she  opened  the  letter,  her  brother 
being  similarly  engaged  with  his  own ;  -and  her  face  get- 
ting gradually  paler  and  paler  as  she  went  on,  at  length 
she  flung  it  on  the  floor  with  a  passionate  air,  and  burst 
into  tears.  Her  brother,  with  astonishment,  exclaimed  — 
"  Dear  Kate,  what  is  it  V  and  he  rose  and  stooped  to  pick 
up  the  letter. 

"  Don't  —  don't,  Charles  !  "  she  cried,  putting  her  foot 
upon  it,  and  flinging  her  arms  round  his  neck.  "  It  is  an 
audacious  letter  —  a  vulgar,  a  cruel  letter,  dear  Charles  ! " 
Her  emotion  increased  as  her  thoughts  recurred  to  the 
heartless  paragraph  concerning  her  brother  with  which 
the  letter  concluded.  "  I  could  have  overlooked  every- 
thing  but   that,"  said   she,   unwittingly.      With   gentle 


422  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

force  he  succeeded  in  getting  hold  of  the  painfully  ridicu- 
lous and  contemptible  effusion.  He  attempted  faintly  to 
smile  several  times  as  he  went  on. 

"  Don't  —  don't,  dearest  Charles  ! "  said  she,  passion- 
ately. "  I  can't  bear  it !  —  Don't  smile  !  —  It 's  very 
far  from  your  heart ;  you  do  it  only  to  assure  me  ! " 

Here  Mr.  Aubrey  read  the  paragraph  concerning  him- 
self. His  face  turned  a  little  paler  than  before,  and  his 
lips  quivered  with  suppressed  emotion.  "  He  is  evidently 
a  very  foolish  fellow  !  "  he  exclaimed,  walking  towards  the 
window,  with  his  back  to  his  sister,  whom  he  did  not 
wish  to  see  how  much  he  was  affected  by  so  petty  an 
incident. 

"  What  does  he  allude  to,  Kate,  when  he  talks  of  your 
having  spoken  angrily  to  him,  and  that  he  did  not  know 
you  ]  "  he  inquired,  after  a  few  moments'  pause,  returning 
to  her. 

"  Oh,  dear  !  —  I  am  so  grieved  that  you  should  have 
noticed  it  —  but  since  you  ask  I  will  not  deceive  you  ! " 
and  she  told  him  the  disgusting  occurrence  alluded  to  in 
the  letter.  Mr.  Aubrey  drew  himself  up  unconsciously  as 
Kate  went  on,  and  she  perceived  him  becoming  still 
paler  than  before,  and  felt  the  kindling  anger  of  his  eye. 

"  Forget  it  —  forget  it,  dearest  Charles  !  —  So  despi- 
cable a  being  is  really  not  worth  a  thought,"  said  Kate, 
with  increasing  anxiety ;  for  she  had  never  in  her  life 
before  witnessed  her  brother  the  subject  of  such  powerful 
emotions  as  then  made  rigid  his  slender  frame.  At  length 
drawing  a  long  breath  — 

"  It  is  fortunate  for  him,  Kate,"  said  he,  calmly,  "  that 
he  is  not  a  gentleman,  and  that  I  endeavor  to  be  —  a 
Christian."  She  flung  her  arms  round  him,  exclaiming, 
"  There  spoke  my  own  noble  brother !  " 

"  I  shall  preserve  this  letter  as  a  curiosity,  Kate,"  said 
he,  presently,  and  with  a  faint  smile,  and  a  pointed  signifi- 


TEX  THOUSAND  A-YEAR.  423 

oanoe  of  manner,  which  arrested  his  sister's  attention,  he 
added,  —  "  It  is  rather  singular,  but  some  time  before 
you  came  in,  I  opened  a  letter  in  whieh  your  name  is 
mentioned  —  I  cannot  say  in  a  similar  manner,  and 
vet  —  in  short,  it  is  from  Lord  De  la  Zouch,  enclosing 
one  •• 

Iffaa  Aubrey  suddenly  blushed  scarlet,  and  trembled 
violently. 

"Don't  be  agitated,  my  dear  Kate,  the  enclosure  is 
from  Lady  De  la  Zouch ;  and  if  it  be  in  the  same  strain 
of  kindness  that  pervades  Lord  De  la  Zouch's  letter  to 
me    

"  I  would  rather  that  you  opened  and  read  it,  Charles  " 

—  she  faltered,  sinking  into  a  chair. 

•me,  come,  dear  Kate  —  play  the  woman ! "  said 
her  brother,  with  an  affectionate  air  —  "  To  say  that 
there  is  nothing  in  these  letters  that  I  believe  will  in- 
terest you  —  very  deeply  gratify  and  interest  your  feelings 

—  would  be  " 

"  I  know  —  I  —  I  —  suspect  —  I  " faltered  Miss 

Aubrey,  with  much  agitation  —  "I  shall  return." 

"  Then  you  shall  take  these  letters  with  you,  and  read, 
or  not  read  them,  as  you  like,"  said  her  brother,  putting 
them  into  her  hand  with  a  fond  and  sorrowful  smile, 
which  soon,  however,  flitted  away  —  and,  leading  her 
to  the  door,  he  was  once  more  alone  ;  and,  after  a  brief 
interval  of  revery,  he  wrote  answers  to  such  of  the  many 
letters  before  him  as  he  considered  earliest  to  require 
them. 

Notwithstanding  the  judgment  and  tenderness  with 
which  I  m\  Tatham  discharged  the  very  serious  duty  which, 
at  the  entreaty  of  his  afflicted  friends,  he  had  undertaken, 
of  breaking  to  Mrs.  Aubrey  the  calamity  with  which  she 
and  her  family  were  menaced,  the  effects  of  the  disclo- 
sure had  been  most  disastrous.     They  occasioned  an  at- 


424  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

tack  of  paralysis ;  and  Mr.  Aubrey,  who  had  long  been 
awaiting  the  issue,  in  sickening  suspense,  in  an  adjoining 
room,  was  hastily  summoned  in  to  behold  a  mournful  and 
heart-rending  spectacle.  His  venerable  mother  —  she 
who  had  given  him  life,  at  the  mortal  peril  of  her  own ; 
she  whom  he  cherished  with  unutterable  tenderness  and 
reverence ;  she  who  doted  upon  him  as  upon  the  light  of 
her  eyes ;  from  whose  dear  lips  he  had  never  heard  a  word 
of  unkindness  or  severity  ;  whose  heart  had  never  known 
an  impulse  but  of  gentle,  noble,  unbounded  generosity 
towards  all  around  her  —  this  idolized  being  now  lay 
suddenly  prostrated  and  blighted  before  him 

Poor  Aubrey  yielded  to  his  long  and  violent  agony, 
in  the  presence  of  her  who  could  apparently  no  longer 
hear  or  see,  or  be  sensible  of  what  was  passing  in  the 
chamber. 

"  My  son,"  said  Dr.  Tatham,  after  the  first  burst  of 
his  friend's  grief  was  over,  and  he  knelt  down  beside  his 
mother  with  her  hand  grasped  in  his,  "  despise  not  the 
chastening  of  the  Lord ;  neither  be  weary  of  his  cor- 
rection : 

"  For  whom  the  Lord  loveth,  he  correcteth,  even  as  a 
father  the  son  in  whom  he  delighteth." 

"  The  Lord  will  not  cast  off  forever; 

"  But  though  he  cause  grief,  yet  will  he  have  compas- 
sion according  to  the  multitude  of  his  mercies. 

"For  he  doth  not  afflict  willingly,  nor  grieve  the  children 
of  men." 

It  was  with  great  difficulty  that  Dr.  Tatham  could  ren- 
der himself  audible  while  uttering  these  soothing  and 
solemn  passages  of  Scripture  in  the  ear  of  his  distracted 
friend,  beside  whom  he  knelt. 

Mrs.  Aubrey  had  suffered  a  paralytic  seizure,  and  lay 
motionless  and  insensible ;  her  features  slightly  disfigured, 
but  partially  concealed  beneath  her  long  silvery  gray  hair, 


TKX    THOUSAND    A-YEAR.  425 

which  had,  in  the  suddenness  of  the  fit,  strayed  from 
beneath  her  cap. 

-  But  what  am  I  about  ?  "  at  length  exclaimed  Mr.  Au- 
.    with   a   languid   and  alarmed   air — "has   medical 

stance" 

"Dr.  Goddart  and  Mr.  Whately  are  both  sent -for  by 
several  >ervants.  and  will  doubtless  be  very  quickly  here," 
replied  Dr.  Tathamj  and  while  he  yet  spoke,  Mr.  Whately 

—  who,  when  hastened  on  by  the  servant  who  had  been 
sent  for  him.  was  entering  the  park  on  a  visit  to  young 
Mrs.  Aubrey,  who  was  also  seriously  ill  and  in  peculiarly 
critical  circumstances  —  entered  the  room,  and  imme- 
diately resorted  to  the  necessary  measures.  Soon  after- 
wards, also,  Dr.  Goddart  arrived;  but  alas,  how  little 
could  they  do  for  the  venerable  sufferer  ! 

During  the  next,  and  for  many  ensuing  days,  the  lodge 
was  assailed  by  very  many  anxious  and  sympathizing  in- 
quirers, who  were  answered  by  Waters,  whom  Mr.  Aubrey 

—  oppressed  by  the  number  of  friends  who  hurried  up  to 
the  Hall,  and  insisted  upon  seeing  him  to  ascertain  the 
extent  to  which  the  dreadful  rumors  were  correct  —  had 
stationed  there  during  the  day  to  afford  the  requisite  in- 
formation. The  Hall  was  pervaded  by  a  gloom  which 
could  be  felt.  Every  servant  had  a  woe-begone  look,  and 
moved  about  as  if  a  funeral  were  stirring.  Little  Charles 
and  Agnes,  almost  imprisoned  in  their  nursery,  seemed 
quite  puzzled  and  confused  at  the  strange  unusual  serious- 
ness, and  quietness,  and  melancholy  faces  everywhere 
about  them.  Kate  romped  not  with  them  as  had  been 
her  wont ;  but  would  constantly  burst  into  tears  as  she 
held  them  on  her  knee  or  in  her  arms,  trying  to  evade 
the  continual  questioning  of  Charles.  "  I  think  it  will  be 
time  for  me  to  cry  too,  by-and-by  !  "  said  he  to  her  one 
day,  with  an  air  half  in  jest  and  half  in  earnest,  that  made 
poor  Kate's  tears  flow  afresh.     Sleepless  nights  and  days 


426  TEN  THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

of  sorrow  soon  told  upon  her  appearance.  Her  glorious 
buoyancy  of  spirits,  which  erewhile,  as  it  were,  had  filled 
the  whole  Hall  with  gladness  —  where  were  they  now  1 
Ah,  me  !  the  rich  bloom  had  disappeared  from  her  beauti- 
ful cheek  ;  but  her  high  spirit,  though  oppressed,  was  not 
broken,  and  she  stood  firmly  and  calmly  amid  the  scowl- 
ing skies  and  lowering  tempests.  You  fancied  you  saw 
her  auburn  tresses  stirred  upon  her  pale  but  calm  brow 
by  the  breath  of  the  approaching  storm ;  and  that  she 
also  felt  it,  but  trembled  not,  gazing  on  it  with  a  bright 
and  steadfast  eye.  Her  heart  might  be,  indeed,  bruised 
and  shaken  ;  but  her  spirit  was,  ay,  unconquerable.  My 
glorious  Kate,  how  my  heart  goes  forth  towards  you  ! 

And  thou,  her  brother,  who  art  of  kindred  spirit ;  who 
art  supported  by  philosophy,  and  exalted  by  religion,  so 
that  thy  constancy  cannot  be  shaken  or  overthrown  by 
the  black  and  ominous  swell  of  trouble  which  is  increasing 
and  closing  around  thee,  I  know  that  thou  wilt  outlive 
the  storm  —  and  yet  it  rocks  thee  ! 

A  month  or  two  may  see  thee  and  thine  expelled  from 
Old  Yatton,  and  not  merely  having  lost  everything,  but 
with  a  liability  to  thy  successor  which  will  hang  round 
thy  neck  like  a  millstone.  What,  indeed,  is  to  become 
of  you  all  1  Whither  will  you  go  1  And  your  suffering 
mother,  should  she  indeed  survive  so  long,  is  her" precious 
form  to  be  borne  away  from  Yatton  % 

Around  thee  stand  those  who,  if  thou  fallest,  will  perish 

—  and  that  thou  knowest ;  around  thy,  calm,  sorrowful, 
but  erect  figure,  are  a  melancholy  group  —  thy  afflicted 
mother  —  the  wife  of  thy  bosom  —  thy  two  little  children 

—  thy  brave  and  beautiful  sister  —  Yet  think  not,  Mis- 
fortune !  that  over  this  man  thou  art  about  to  achieve  thy 
accustomed  triumphs.  Here,  behold,  thou  hast  a  man  to 
contend  with ;  nay,  more,  a  Christian  man,  who  hath 
calmly  girded  up  his  loins  against  the  coming  fight! 


TEN  THOUSAND  A-YF.AK  427 

'T  was  Sabbath  evening,  some  five  weeks  or  so  after  the 
happening  of  the  monraful  events  above  commemorated, 

and  Kate,  having  spent,  as  usual,  several  hours  keeping 
watch  beside  the  silent  ami  motionless  figure  of  her 
mother,  had  quitted  the  chamber  for  a  brief  interval, 
thinking  to  relieve  her  oppressed  spirits  by  walking,  for 
a  little  while,  up  and  down  the  long  gallery.  Having 
slowly  paced  backwards  and  forwards  once  or  twice,  she 
rested  against  the  little  oriel  window  at  the  farthest  ex- 
tremity of  the  gallery,  and  gazed  with  saddened  eye  upon 
the  Betting  sun,  till  at  length,  in  calm  grandeur,  it  disap- 
peared beneath  the  horizon.  'T  was  to  Kate  a  solemn  and 
mournful  sign  ;  especially  followed  as  it  was  by  the  deep- 
ening shadows  and  gloom  of  evening.  She  sighed,  and 
with  her  hands  crossed  on  her  bosom,  gazed,  with  a  tear- 
ful eye,  into  the  darkening  sky,  w  here  glittered  the  brilliant 
evening  star.  Thus  she  remained,  a  thousand  pensive  and 
tender  thoughts  passing  through  her  mind,  till  the  increas- 
ing chills  of  evening  warned  her  to  retire.  "  I  will  go,'' 
said  she  to  herself,  as  she  walked  slowly  along,  "  and  try 
to  play  the  evening  hymn  —  I  may  not  have  many  more 
opportunities!"  With  this  view,  she  gently  opened  the 
drawing-room  door,  and,  glancing  around,  found  that  she 
should  be  alone.  The  fire  gave  the  only  light.  She 
opened  the  organ  with  a  sigh,  and  then  sat  down  before 
it  f  ft  some  minutes  without  touching  the  keys.  At  length 
she  struck  them  very  gently,  as  if  fearful  of  disturbing 
those  who,  she  soon  recollected,  were  too  distant  to  hear 
her.  Ah !  how  many  associations  were  stirred  up  as  she 
played  over  the  simple  and  solemn  air  !  At  length,  in  a 
low  and  rather  tremulous  voice,  she  began  — 

"  Soon  will  the  evening  star,  with  silver  ray, 
its  miLl  radiance  o'er  the  sacred  day  ; 
Resume  we,  then,  ere  night  and  silence  reign, 
The  rites  which  holiness  and  heaven  ordain  " 


428  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAK. 

She  sang  the  last  line  somewhat  indistinctly ;  and,  over- 
come by  a  flood  of  tender  recollections,  ceased  playing ; 
then,  leaning  her  head  upon  her  hand,  she  shed  tears.  At 
length  she  resumed  — 

"Here  humbly  let  us  hope  our  Maker's  smile 
Will  crown  with  sweet  success  our  earthly  toil  — 
And  here,  on  each  returning  Sabbath,  join  " 

Here  poor  Kate's  voice  quivered  —  and  after  one  or  two 
ineffectual  attempts  to  sing  the  next  line,  she  sobbed,  and 
ceased  playing.  She  remained  for  several  minutes,  her 
face  buried  in  her  handkerchief,  shedding  tears.  At 
length,  "I'll  play  the  last  verse,"  thought  she,  "and 
then  sit  down  before  the  fire,  and  read  over  the  evening 
service,"  (feeling  for  her  little  prayer-book,)  "  before  I  re- 
turn to  poor  mamma ! "  With  a  firmer  hand  and  voice 
she  proceeded  — 

"  Father  of  Heaven  !  in  whom  our  hopes  confide, 
"Whose  power  defends  us,  and  whose  precepts  guide  — 
In  life  our  guardian,  and  in  death  our  friend, 
Glory  supreme  be  thine,  till  time  shall  end." 

She  played  and  sang  these  lines  with  a  kind  of  solemn 
energy;  and  she  felt  as  if  a  ray  of  heavenly  light  had 
trembled  for  a  moment  upon  her  upturned  eye.  She  had 
not  been,  as  she  had  supposed,  alone;  in  the  farthest 
corner  of  the  room  had  been  all  the  while  sitting  her 
brother  —  too  exquisitely  touched  by  the  simplicity  and 
goodness  of  his  sweet  sister,  to  apprise  her  of  his  presence. 
Several  times  his  feelings  had  nearly  overpowered  him ; 
and  as  she  concluded,  he  arose  from  his  chair,  and 
approaching  her,  after  her  first  surprise  was  over,  — » 
"  Heaven  bless  you,  dear  Kate  ! "  said  he,  taking  her 
hands  in  his  own.  Neither  of  them  spoke  for  a  few 
moments. 


TEX    THOUSAND   A-YE.VR.  429 

*  I  could  not  have  sung  a  line,  or  played,  if  I  had 
known  that  you  were  hero,"  said  she,  tremulously. 

••  I  thought  BO,  Kate,  and  therefore  1  remained  silent"  — 

••  1  don't  think  1  shall  ever  have  heart  to  play  again!  " 
she  replied — they  were  both  silent. 

'•  Be  assured,  Kate,  that  submission  to  the  will  of  God," 
said  Mr.  Aubrey,  as  (he  with  his  arm  round  his  sister) 
they  walked  .slowly  to  and  fro,  "is  the  great  lesson  to  be 
learned  from  the  troubles  of  life;  and  for  that  purpose 
they  are  sent.  Let  us  bear  up  awhile;  the  waters  will 
over  OUT  heads  !  " 

"  I  hope  not,"  replied  his  sister,  faintly,  and  in  tears. 
"  How  did  you  leave  Agnes,  Charles  ?  " 

'   She  was  asleep;  she  is  still  very  feeble" Here 

the  door  was  suddenly  opened,  and  Miss  Aubrey's  maid 
entered  hastily,  exclaiming,  "Are  you  here,  ma'am1?  — 
or  sir  ? " 

•Here  we  are."  they  replied,  hurrying  towards  her; 
"what  is  the  matter?" 

"  I  >h,  Madam  is  talking  !     She  began  speaking  all  of  a 

sudden.     She  did,  indeed,  sir.     She  's  talking,  and  " 

continued  the  girl,  almost  breathless. 

"My  mother  talking!"  exclaimed  Aubrey,  with  an 
amazed  air. 

••<>h  yes.  sir!  she  is — she  is,  indeed!" 

Miss  Aubrey  sank  into  her  brother's  arms,  overcome  for 
ment  with  the  sudden  and  surprising  intelligence. 

"Rouse  yourself  Kate  !"  he  exclaimed  with  animation; 
"  did  I  not  tell  you  that  Heaven  would  not  forget  us  1 
But  I  must  hasten  up-stairs,  to  hear  the  joyful  sounds 
with  my  own  ears  —  and  do  you  follow  as  soon  as  you 
can."  Leaving  her  in  the  care  of  her  maid,  he  hastened 
out  <>f  the  room,  and  was  soon  at  the  door  of  his  mother's 
chamber.  He  stood  for  a  moment  in  the  doorway,  and 
his  straining  ear.',  caught  the  gentle  tones  of  his  mother's 


430  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

voice,  speaking  in  a  low  but  cheerful  tone.  His  knees 
trembled  beneatli  him  with  joyful  excitement.  Fearful 
of  trusting  himself  in  her  presence  till  he  had  become 
calmer,  he  noiselessly  sank  on  the  nearest  chair,  with  beat- 
ing heart  and  straining  ear  —  ay,  every  tone  of  that  dear 
voice  thrilled  through  his  heart.  But  I  shall  not  torture 
myself  or  my  reader  by  dwelling  upon  the  scene  which 
ensued.  Alas  !  the  venerable  sufferer's  tongue  was  indeed 
loosed  ;  —  but  reason  had  fled  !  He  listened  —  he  distin- 
guished her  words.  She  supposed  that  all  her  children 
—  dead  and  alive  —  were  romping  about  her ;  she  spoke 
of  him  and  his  sister  as  she  had  spoken  to  them  twenty 
years  ago ! 

As  soon  as  he  had  made  this  woful  discovery,  over- 
whelmed with  grief,  he  staggered  out  of  the  room ;  and 
motioning  his  sister,  who  was  entering,  into  an  adjoining 
apartment,  communicated  to  her,  with  great  agitation,  the 
lamentable  condition  of  their  mother. 


TEX    THOUSAND    A-YEAK.  431 


CHAPTER   XII. 


The  chief  corner-stone  suddenly  found  wanting  in  the 
glittering  fabric  of  Mr.  Titmouse's  fortune,  so  that,  to  the 
:'  its  startled  architects,  Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon,  and 
Snap,  it  seemed  momentarily  threatening  to  tumble  about 
their  ears,  was  a  certain  piece  of  evidence  which,  being  a 
matter-of-fact  man,  I  should  like  to  explain  to  the  reader, 
before  we  get  on  any  farther.  In  order,  however,  to  do 
this  effectually,  I  must  go  back  to  an  earlier  period  in  the 
history  than  has  been  yet  called  to  his  attention.  I  make 
no  doubt,  that  by  the  superficial  and  impatient  novel- 
reader,  certain  portions  of  what  has  gone  before,  and  which 
could  not  fail  of  attracting  the  attention  of  long-headed 
people,  as  not  likely  to  have  been  thrown  in  for  nothing, 
(and  therefore  requiring  to  be  borne  in  mind  with  a  view 
to  subsequent  explanation,)  have  been  entirely  overlooked 
or  forgotten.  However  this  may  be,  I  can  fancy  that  the 
sort  of  reader  whom  /  have  in  my  eye,  as  one  whose  curi- 
osity it  is  worth  some  pains  to  excite,  and  sustain,  has 
more  than  once  asked  himself  the  following  question, 
viz.  — 

How  did  Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon,  and  Snap,  first  come 
to  be  acquainted  with  the  precarious  tenure  by  which  Mr. 
Aubrey  held  the  Yatton  property  ?  —  Why,  it  chanced  in 
this  wise. 

Mr.  Parkinson  of  Grilston,  who  has  been  already  intro- 
duced to  the  reader,  had  succeeded  to  his  father's  first-rate 
business  as  a  country  attorney  and  solicitor  in  Yorkshire. 
He  was  ;i  highly  honorable,  painstaking  man,  and  deserv- 


432  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAK. 

edly  enjoyed  the  entire  confidence  of  all  his  numerous 
and  influential  clients.  Some  twelve  years  before  the  pe- 
riod at  which  this  history  commences,  he  had,  from  pure 
kindness,  taken  into  his  service  an  orphan  boy  of  the 
name  of  Steggars,  at  first  merely  as  a  sort  of  errand-boy, 
and  to  look  after  the  office.  He  soon,  however,  displayed 
so  much  sharpness,  and  acquitted  himself  so  creditably 
in  anything  that  he  happened  to  be  concerned  in,  a  little 
above  the  run  of  his  ordinary  duties,  that  in  the  course 
of  a  year  or  two  he  became  a  sort  of  clerk,  and  sat  and 
wrote  at  the  desk  it  had  formerly  been  his  sole  province  to 
dust.  Higher  and  higher  did  he  rise,  in  process  of  time, 
in  his  master's  estimation  ;  and  at  length  became  quite  a 
factotum  —  as  such,  acquainted  with  the  wThole  course  of 
business  that  passed  through  the  office.  Many  interest- 
ing matters  connected  with  the  circumstances  and  con- 
nections of  the  neighboring  nobility  and  gentry  were  thus 
constantly  brought  under  his  notice,  and  now  and  then 
set  him  thinking  whether  the  knowledge  thus  acquired 
could  not,  in  some  way,  and  at  some  time  or  another,  be 
turned  to  his  own  advantage ;  for  I  am  sorry  to  say  that 
he  was  utterly  unworthy  of  the  kindness  and  confidence 
of  Mr.  Parkinson,  who  little  thought  that  in  Steggars  he 
had  to  deal  with  —  a  rogue  in  grain.  Such  being  his  char- 
acter, and  such  his  opportunities,  this  worthy  had  long 
made  a  practice  of  minuting  down,  from  time  to  time, 
anything  of  interest  or  importance  in  the  affairs  of  his  be- 
trayed master's  clients  —  even  laboriously  copying  long 
documents,  when  he  thought  them  of  importance  enough 
for  his  purpose,  and  had  the  opportunity  of  doing  so  with- 
out attracting  the  attention  of  Mr.  Parkinson.  He  thus 
silently  acquired  a  mass  of  information  which  might  have 
enabled  him  to  occasion  great  annoyance,  and  even  inflict 
serious  injury  ;  and  the  precise  object  he  had  in  view,  was 
either  to  force  himself,  hereafter,  into  partnership  with  his 


TEX   THOUSAND    A-YEAR.  4dd 

employer,  (provided  he  could  got  regularly  introduced  into 
the  profession,)  or  even  compel  Lis  master's  clients  to  re- 
ceive him  into  their  confidence,  adversely  to  Sir.  Parkin- 

BOn  ;  and  make  it  worth  his  while  to  keep  the  secrets  of 
which  he  had  become  possessed.     So  careful  ought  to  be, 

and   indeed  generally  are,  attorneys  and   solicitors,  as  to 

the  characters  of  those  whom  they  thus  receive  into  their 
employ.  < hi  the  occasion  of  Mr.  Aubrey's  intended  mar- 
\\  ith  Miss  St.  Clair,  with  a  view  to  the  very  liberal 
settlements  which  he  contemplated,  a  full  ''Abstract"  of 
his  "  Title  "  was  laid  by  Mr.  Parkinson  before  his  convey- 
ancer, in  order  to  advise,  and  to  prepare  the  necessary 
instruments.  Owing  to  inquiries  suggested  by  the  con- 
veyancer, additional  statements  were  laid  before  him  ;  and 
produced  an  opinion  of  a  somewhat  unsatisfactory  descrip- 
tion, from  which  I  shall  lay  before  the  reader  the  follow- 
ing paragraph  :  — 

"...  There  seems  no  reason  for  supposing  that  any  descen- 
dant of  Stephen  Dreddlington  is  now  in  existence ;  22  still,  as 
.  w>  nh'i.ns  physically  impossible  that  such  a  person  may  be 
■  ,  it   would  unquestionably   be  most   important  to  the 
security  of  Mr.  Aubrey's  title,  to  establish  clearly  the  validity 
of  the  conveyance  by  way  of  mortgage,  executed  by  Harry 
Dreddlington,  and  which  was  afterwards  assigned  to  Geoffrey 
Dreddlington  on  his  paying  off  the  money  borrowed  by  his  de- 
I  uncle  ;  since  the  descent  of  Mr.  Aubrey  from  Geoffrey 
Dreddlington  would,  in  that  event,  clothe  him  with  an  inde- 
feasible title  at  law,  by  virtue  of  that  deed  ;  and  any  equitable 
rights  which  were  originally  outstanding,  would  be  barred  by 
E  time.    But  the  difficulty  occurring  to  my  mind  on  this 
part  of  the  case  is,  that  unless  Harry  Dreddlington,  who  exe- 
cuted that  deed  of  mortgage,  survived  his  father,  (a  point  on 
which  I  am  surprised  that  I  am  furnished  with  no  informa- 
tion,) the  deed  itself  would  have  been  mere  waste  parchment, 
a-  in  reality  the  conveyance  of  a  person  who  never  had  any  in- 
;i  the  Yatton  property  —  and,  of  course,  neither  Geoffrey 
vol.  i.—  28 


434  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

Dreddlington,  nor  his  descendant,  Mr.  Aubrey,  could  derive 
any  right  whatever  under  such  an  instrument.  In  that  case, 
such  a  contingency  as  I  have  above  hinted  at  —  I  mean 
the  existence  of  any  legitimate  descendant  of  Stephen  Dred- 
dlington —  might  have  a  most  serious  effect  upon  the  rights  oj 
Mr.  Aubrey." 

Now  every  line  of  this  opinion,  and  also  even  of  the  Ab- 
stract of  Title  upon  which  it  was  written,  did  this  quick- 
sighted  young  scoundrel  copy  out,  and  deposit,  as  a  great 
prize,  in  his  desk,  among  other  similar  notes  and  mem- 
oranda,—  little  wotting  his  master,  the  while,  of  what 
his  clerk  was  doing.  Some  year  or  two  afterwards,  the 
relationship  subsisting  between  Mr.  Parkinson  and  his 
clerk  Steggars,  was  suddenly  determined  by  a  somewhat 
untoward  event ;  viz.  by  the  latter's  decamping  with  the 
sum  of  £700  sterling,  being  the  amount  of  money  due  on 
a  mortgage  which  he  had  been  sent  to  receive  from  a  cli- 
ent of  Mr.  Parkinson's.  Steggars  fled  for  it  —  but  first 
having  bethought  himself  of  the  documents  to  which  I 
have  been  alluding,  and  which  he  carried  with  him  to 
London.  Hot  pursuit  was  made  after  the  enterprising 
Mr.  Steggars,  who  was  taken  into  custody  two  or  three 
days  after  his  arrival  in  town,  while  he  was  walking  about 
the  streets,  with  the  whole  of  the  sum  which  he  had  em- 
bezzled, minus  a  few  pounds,  upon  his  person,  in  bank- 
notes. He  was  quickly  deposited  in  Newgate.  His  natural 
sagacity  assured  him  that  his  case  was  rather  an  ugly 
one;  but  hope  did  not  desert  him. 

"  Well,  my  kiddy,"  said  Grasp,  the  grim-visaged,  gray- 
headed  turnkey,  as  soon  as  he  had  ushered  Steggars  into 
his  snug  little  quarters  ;  "  here  you  are,  you  see  —  is  n't 
you?" 

"  I  think  I  am,"  replied  Steggars,  with  a  sigh. 

«  Well — and  if  you  want  to  have  a  chance  of  not  going 
across  the  water  afore  your  time,  you  '11  get  yourself  de- 


TEX  THOUSAND  A-YEAE.  435 

fended,  and  the  sooner  the  better,  d  'ye  see.  There  's 
Quirk,  Gammon,  and  Snap —  ray  eyes!  how  they  do  thin 
this  hero  place  of  ours,  to  be  sure  !  The  only  thing  is  to 
•u  soon  ;  'cause,  ye  Bee,  they're  so  run  after.  Shall 
I  send  them  to  you  I  " 

b  answered  eagerly  in  the  affirmative.  In  order 
to  account  for  this  spontaneous  good-nature  on  the  part 
of  ( J  rasp.  I  must  explain  that  old  Mr.  Quirk  had  for  years 
secured  b  highly  respectable  criminal  practice,  by  having 
in  his  interest  most  of  the  officers  attached  to  the  police- 
offices  and  Newgate.  He  gave,  in  fact,  systematic  gra- 
tuities to  these  gentry,  in  order  to  get  their  recommen- 
dations to  the  persecuted  individuals  who  came  into  their 
power.  Very  shortly  after  Grasp's  messenger  had  reached 
Saffron  Hill,  with  the  intelligence  that  "there  was  some- 
thing new  in  the  trap,11  old  Quirk  bustled  down  to  New- 
gate, and  was  introduced  to  Steggars,  with  whom  he  was 
closeted  for  some  time.  He  took  a  lively  interest  in  his 
new  client,  to  whose  narrative  of  his  flight  and  capture 
he  listened  in  a  very  kind  and  sympathizing  way,  la- 
ment ing  the  severity  of  the  late  statute  applicable  to  the 
case  ; 23  and  promised  to  do  for  him  whatever  his  little 
skill  and  experience  could  do.  He  hinted  however,  that, 
as  Mr.  Steggars  must  be  aware,  a  little  ready  money  would 
be  required,  in  order  to  fee  counsel  —  whereat  Steggars 
looked  very  dismal  indeed,  and  knowing  the  state  of  his 
exchequer,  imagined  himself  already  on  shipboard,  on 
his  way  to  Botany  Bay.  Old  Air.  Quirk  asked  him  if  he 
had  no  friends  who  would  raise  a  trifle  for  a  "  chum  in 
trouble,"  —  and  on  Mr.  Steggars  answering  in  the  nega- 
tive, he  observed  the  enthusiasm  of  the  respectable  old 
gentleman  visibly  and  rapidly  cooling  down. 

"  But  I  '11  tell  you  what,  sir,'r  said  poor  Steggars,  sud- 
denly, "  if  I  have  n't  money,  I  may  have  money's  worth  at 
my  command  \  —  I  've  a  little  box,  that  *s  at  my  lodging, 


436  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAE. 

which  those  that  catched  me  knew  nothing  of — and  in 
which  there  is  a  trifle  or  two  about  the  families  and  for- 
tunes of  some  of  the  first  folk  in  the  best  part  of  York- 
shire, that  would  be  precious  well  worth  looking  after,  to 
those  who  know  how  to  follow  up  such  matters." 

Old  Quirk  hereat  pricked  up  his  ears,  and  asked  his 
young  friend  how  he  got  possessed  of  such  secrets. 

"  Oh  fie  !  fie  !  "  said  he,  gently,  as  soon  as  Steggars  had 
told  him  the  practices  of  which  I  have  already  put  the 
reader  in  possession. 

"  Ah  —  you  may  say  fie  !  fie  !  if  you  like,"  quoth  Steg- 
gars, earnestly ;  "  but  the  thing  is,  not  how  they  were 
come  by,  but  what  can  be  done  with  them,  now  they  're 
got.  For  example,  there  's  a  certain  member  of  parlia- 
ment in  Yorkshire,  that,  high  as  he  may  hold  his  head, 
has  no  more  right  to  the  estates  that  yield  him  a  good 
ten  thousand  a-year  than  I  have,  but  keeps  some  folk  out 
of  their  own,  that  could  pay  some  other  folk  a  round  sum 
to  be  put  in  the  way  of  getting  their  own  ;  "  and  that  — 
intimated  the  suffering  captive  —  was  only  one  of  the  good 
things  he  knew  of.  Here  old  Quirk  rubbed  his  chin, 
hemmed,  fidgeted  about  in  his  seat,  took  off  his  glasses, 
wiped  them,  replaced  them ;  and  presently  went  through 
that  ceremony  again.  He  then  said  that  he  had  had 
the  honor  of  being  concerned  for  a  great  number  of  gen- 
tlemen in  Mr.  Steggars'  "  present  embarrassed  circum- 
stances," but  who  had  always  been  able  to  command  at 
least  a  five-pound  note,  at  starting,  to  run  a  heat  for 
liberty. 

"  Come,  come,  old  gentleman,"  quoth  Steggars,  earn- 
estly, "I  don't  want  to  go  over  the  water  before  my 
time,  if  I  can  help  it,  I  assure  you ;  and  I  see  you  know 
the  value  of  what  I  've  got !  Such  a  gentleman  as  you 
can  turn  every  bit  of  paper  I  have  in  my  box  into  a  fifty- 
pound  note." 


TEX    THOU  SAND    A-YEAK.  437 

"All  this  is  moonshine,  my  young  friend,"  said  old 
Quirk,  in  an  irresolute  tone  and  manner. 

u  Ah  !  is  it,  though  ?  To  be  able  to  tell  the  owner  of 
a  fat  ten  thousand  a-year,  that  you  can  spring  a  mine 

under  his  feet  at  any  moment — ehl  —  and  no  one  ever 
know  how  you  came  by  your  knowledge.  And  if  they 
wouldn't  do  what  was  handsome,  couldn't  you  get  the 
riffht  heir — and  wouldn't  that —  Lord!  it.  would  make 
the  fortunes  of  half-a-dozen  of  the  first  houses  in  the 
profession  !  "     Old  Quirk  got  a  little  excited. 

••  But  mind,  sir  —  you  see"  —  said  Steggars,  "if  I  get 
off,  I  'm  not  to  be  cut  out  of  the  thing  altogether  —  eh  1 
I  shall  look  to  be  taken  into  your  employ,  and  dealt  hand- 
somely by  " 

"Oh  Lord!"  exclaimed  Quirk,  involuntarily  —  adding 
quickly.  "  Yes.  yes  !  to  be  sure  !  only  fair ;  but  let  us 
get  you  out  of  your  present  difficulty,  you  know  !  n 
Si  gg  H"8,  having  first  exacted  from  him  a  written  promise 
to  use  his  utmost  exertions  on  his  (Steggars')  behalf,  and 
secure  him  the  services  of  two  of  the  most  eminent  Old 
Bailey  counsel  —  viz.  Mr.  Bluster  and  Mr.  Slang — gave 
Mr.  Quirk  the  number  of  the  house  where  the  precious 
box  was,  and  a  written  order  to  the  landlord  to  deliver 
it  up  to  the  bearer  :  after  which  Mr.  Quirk  shook  him 
cordially  by  the  hand,  and  having  quitted  the  prison, 
made  his  way  straight  to  the  house  in  question,  and  suc- 
1  in  obtaining  what  he  asked  for.  He  faithfully 
performed  his  agreement  with  Steggars;  for  he  retained 
both  Bluster  and  Slang  for  him,  and  got  up  their  briefs 
with  care  :  but,  alas  !  although  these  eminent  men  ex- 
erted all  their  great  powers,  they  succeeded  not  in  either 
bothering  the  judge,  bamboozling  the  jury,  or  browbeat- 
ing the  w  •  rhe  principal  one  of  whom  was  Mr. 
Parkinson  :  Si  ggj  its  was  found  guilty  and  sentenced  to 
be  transported  for  fourteen  years.24     Enraged  at  this  issue, 


438  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

he  sent  a  message  the  next  day  to  Mr.  Quirk,  requesting 
a  visit  from  him.  When  he  arrived,  Steggars,  in  a  very 
violent  tone,  demanded  that  his  papers  should  be  re- 
turned to  him.  'T  was  in  vain  that  Mr.  Quirk  explained 
to  him  again  and  again  his  interesting  position  with  ref- 
erence to  his  goods,  chattels,  and  effects  —  i.  e.  that,  as 
a  convicted  felon,  he  had  no  further  concern  with  them, 
and  might  dismiss  all  anxiety  on  that  score  from  his 
mind.  Steggars  hereat  got  more  furious  than  before, 
and  intimated  plainly  the  course  he  should  feel  it  his 
duty  to  pursue  —  viz.  that,  if  the  papers  in  question 
were  not  given  up  to  him  as  he  desired,  he  should  at 
once  write  off  to  his  late  employer,  Mr.  Parkinson,  and 
acknowledge  how  much  more  he  (Steggars)  had  wronged 
that  gentleman  and  his  clients,  than  he  supposed  of.  Old 
Quirk  very  feelingly  represented  to  him  that  he  was  at 
liberty  to  do  anything  that  he  thought  calculated  to  re- 
lieve his  excited  feelings:  and  then  Mr.  Quirk  took  a  final 
farewell  of  his  client,  wishing  him  health  and  happiness. 

"  I  say,  Grasp !  "  said  he,  in  a  whisper,  to  that  grim 
functionary,  as  soon  as  he  had  secured  poor  Steggars  in 
his  cell,  "  that  bird  is  a  little  ruffled  just  now  —  is  n't 
he,  think  you?" 

"  Lud,  sir,  that 's  the  nat'ralist  thing  in  the  world, 
considering  " 

"  Well  —  if  he  should  want  a  letter  taken  to  any  one, 
whatever  he  may  say  to  the  contrary,  you  '11  send  it  on 
to  Saffron  Hill  —  eh  1  Understand  1  —  He  may  be  injur- 
ing himself,  you  know ;  "  and  old  Quirk  with  one  hand 
clasped  the  huge  arm  of  Grasp  in  a  familiar  way,  and 
with  the  forefinger  of  the  other  touched  his  own  nose, 
and  then  winked  his  eye. 

"  All  right !  "  quoth  Grasp,  and  they  parted.  Within 
a  very  few  hours'  time,  Mr.  Quirk  received,  by  the  hand 
of  a  trusty  messenger,  from  Grasp,  a  letter  written  by 


TEX    THOUSAND   A-YEAli.  439 

jara  to  Mr.  Parkinson;  along  and  eloquent  letter, 
to  the  purport  and  effect  which  Steggara  bad  intimated. 

Mr.  Quirk  read  it  with  much  satisfaction,  for  it  disclosed 
a  truly  penitent  feeling,  and  a  desire  to  undo  as  much 
mischief  as  the  writer  had  done.  He  (Mr.  Quirk)  was 
not  in  the  least  exasperated  by  certain  very  plain  terms 
in  which  his  own  name  was  mentioned;  but  making  all 
due  allowances,  quietly  put  the  letter  in  the  tire  as 
soon  as  he  had  read  it.  In  due  time  Mr.  Steggars,  whose 
health  had  Buffered  from  close  confinement,  caught  fre- 
quent  whiffs  of  the  fresh  sea-breeze,  having  set  out,  under 
favorable  auspices,  for  Botany  Bay  ;  to  which  distant 
but  happy  place,  he  had  been  thus  fortunate  in  early  se- 
curing an  "appointment"  for  so  considerable  a  portion  of 
his  life. 

Such,  then,  were  the  miserable  means  by  which  Mr. 
Quirk  became  acquainted  with  the  exact  state  of  Mr. 
Aubrey's  title;  on  first  becoming  apprised  of  which, 
Mr.  (iammou  either  felt,  or  affected,  great  repugnance 
t«»  taking  any  part  in  the  affair.  He  appeared  to  suf- 
fer himself,  at  length,  however,  to  be  over-persuaded  by 
Quirk  into  acquiescence;  and,  that  point  gained  —  hav- 
ing ends  in  view  of  which  Mr.  Quirk  had  not  the  least 
conception,  and  which,  in  fact,  had  but  suddenly  occurred 
to  Mr.  Gammon  himself — worked  his  materials  with  a 
caution,  skill,  energy,  and  perseverance,  which  soon  led 
t<>  important  results.  Guided  by  the  suggestions  of  acute 
and  experienced  counsel,  after  much  pains  and  consid- 
erable expense,  they  had  succeeded  in  discovering  that 
preciou-  specimen  of  humanity,  Tittlebat  Titmouse,  who 
hath  already  figured  so  prominently  in  this  history.  When 
they  <  set  down  on  paper  the  result  of  all  their 

rches  and  inquiries,  in  order  to  submit  it  in  the  shape 
of  a  case  for  the  opinion  of  Mr.  Mortmain  and  Mr.  Frank- 
,  in  the  manner  described  in  a  former  part  of  this 


440  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

history,  it  looked  perfect  on  paper,  as  many  a  faulty  pedi- 
gree and  abstract  of  title  had  looked  before,  and  will  yet 
look.  It  was  quite  possible  for  even  Mr.  Tresayle  him- 
self to  overlook  the  defect  which  had  been  pointed  out 
by  Mr.*  Subtle.  That  which  is  stated  to  a  conveyancer, 
as  a  fact  —  any  particular  event,  for  instance,  as  of  a 
death,  a  birth,  or  a  marriage,  at  a  particular  time  or 
place,  which  the  very  nature  of  the  case  renders  highly 
probable  —  he  is  warranted  in  assuming  to  be  so.  But 
■when  the  same  statement  comes  —  with  quite  a  different 
object  —  under  the  experienced  eye  of  a  nisi  prius  law- 
yer, who  knows  that  he  will  have  to  prove  his  case,  step 
by  step,  the  aspect  of  things  is  soon  changed.  "De  non 
apparentibus,  et  de  non  existentibns,"  saith  the  law,  "  eadem 
est  ratio."  The  first  practitioner  in  the  common  law, 
before  whom  the  case  came,  in  its  roughest  and  earliest 
form,  in  order  that  he  might  "  lick  it  into  shape,"  and 
'•  advise  generally  "  preparatory  to  its  "  being  laid  before 
counsel,"  was  Mr.  Traverse,  a  young  pleader,  whom 
Messrs.  Quirk  and  Gammon  were  disposed  to  take  by  the 
hand.  He  wrote  a  very  showy,  but  superficial  and 
delusive  opinion  ;  and  put  the  intended  protege  of  his 
clients,  as  it  were  by  a  kind  of  hop,  step,  and  jump,  into 
possession  of  the  Yatton  estates.  Quirk  was  quite  de- 
lighted on  reading  it ;  but  Gammon  shook  his  head  with 
a  somewhat  sarcastic  smile,  and  said  he  would  at  once 
prepare  a  case  for  the  opinion  of  Mr.  Lynx,  whom  he  had 
pitched  upon  as  the  junior  counsel  in  any  proceedings 
which  might  be  instituted  in  a  court  of  law.  Lynx  (of 
whom  I  shall  speak  hereafter)  was  an  experienced,  hard- 
headed,  vigilant,  and  accurate  lawyer  ;  the  very  man  for 
such  a  case,  requiring',  as  it  did,  most  patient  and  mi- 
nute examination.     With  an  eye  fitted 

"  To  inspect  a  mite,  not  comprehend  the  heaven," 


TEN    THOUSAND    A-VKAK.  441 

he  crawled,  as  it  were,  over  a  case  ;  and  thus,  even  as 
one  can  imagine  that  a  beetle  creeping  over  the  floor  of 

St  Daubs,  would  detect  minute  flaws  and  fissures  invisi- 
ble to  the  eve  of  Sir  Christopher  Wren  himself,  spied  out 
defects  which  much  nobler  optics  would  have  overlooked. 
I  me   to  plain   matter-of-fact,  however,  I   have  beside 

me  the  original  opinion  written  by  Mr.  Lynx  ;  and  shall 
treat  the  reader  to  a  taste  of  it  —  giving  him  sufficient  to 
enable  him  to  appreciate  the  very  ticklish  position  of 
affairs  with  Mr.  Titmouse.  To  make  it  not  altogether 
unintelligible,  let  us  suppose  the  state  of  the  pedigree  to 
mething  like  this,  (as  far  as  concerns  our  present 
purpose  : )  — 

(Dreddlington.) 


(Harry  Dreddlington.)         (Charles  Dreddlington.) 

| 

1  '  I 

(Stephen  Dreddlington.)      (Geoffrey  Dreddlington.) 


nale  descendant  (A  female  descendant 

man                  I  Tittlebat  marries 

THtmotut,  through  whom  Charles  Aubrey,  Esq., 

Tittlebat  Titmouse  father  of  the  present 

claims.)  possessor.) 

Be  pleased  now,  unlearned  reader,  to  bear  in  mind  that 
u  Dreddh  ."  at  the  top  of  the  above  table,  is  the  com- 

mon  ancestor,  bavin--  two  sons,  the  elder  "  Harry  Dred- 
dlington,1* the  younger  "  Charles  Dreddlington;  "  the  latter 
having,  in  Like  manner,  two  sons,  "Stephen  Dreddlington" 
and  "  Geoffrey  Dreddlington . "'  the  younger 
BOttj  that   Mr.  Aubrey,  at  present  in   possession,   claims 


442  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

under  "  Geoffrey  Dreddlington."  Now  it  will  be  incum" 
bent  on  Mr.  Titmouse,  in  the  first  instance,  to  establish  in 
himself  a  clear,  independent,  legal,  and  possessory  title 
to  the  estates ;  it  being  sufficient  for  Mr.  Aubrey,  (posses- 
sion being  nine-tenths  of  the  law),  to  falsify  Titmouse's 
proofs,  or  show  them  defective  —  "  because,"  saith  a  very 
learned  sergeant,  who  hath  writ  a  text-book  upon  the 
Action  of  Ejectment,  "  the  plaintiff  in  an  action  of  eject- 
ment must  recover  upon  the  strength  of  his  own  title,  not 
the  weakness  of  his  adversary's."25 

Now,  rebus  sic  stantibus,  behold  the  astute  Lynx  advis- 
ing (inter  alia)  in  manner  following ;  that  is  to  say  — 

"  It  appears  clear  that  the  lessor  of  the  plaintiff  (i.  e. 
Tittlebat  Titmouse)  will  be  able  to  prove  that  Dreddling- 
ton (the  common  ancestor)  was  seised  of  the  estate  at 
Yatton  in  the  year  1740;  that  he  had  two  sons,  Harry 
and  Charles,  the  former  of  whom,  after  a  life  of  dissipa- 
tion, appears  to  have  died  without  issue ;  and  that  from 
the  latter  (Charles)  are  descended  Stephen,  the  ancestor 
of  the  lessor  of  the  plaintiff,  and  Geoffrey,  the  ancestor  of 
the  defendant.  Assuming,  therefore,  that  the  descent  of 
the  lessor  of  the  plaintiff  from  Stephen  can  be  made  out, 
as  there  appears  every  reason  to  expect,  [on  this  point 
Lynx  had  written  two  brief  pages,]  a  clear  primd  facie 
case  will  have  been  established  on  the  part  of  the  lessor 
of  the  plaintiff.  As,  however,  it  is  suspected  that  Harry 
Dreddlington  executed  a  conveyance  in  fee  of  the  prop- 
erty, in  order  to  secure  the  loan  contracted  by  him  from 
Aaron  Moses,  it  will  be  extremely  important  to  ascertain, 
and,  if  possible,  procure  satisfactory  evidence  that  the  de- 
cease of  Harry  Dreddlington  occurred  before  the  period  at 
which,  by  his  father's  death,  that  conveyance  could  have 
become  operative  upon  the  property  :  since  it  is  obvious 
that,  should  he  have  survived  his  father,  that  instalment, 
being  outstanding,  may  form  a  complete  answer  to  the  case 


TEH   THOUSAND   A-Yl'.AU.  443 

of  the  lessor  of  the  plaintiff."  The  danger  will  be  obvi- 
ously increased  Bhonld  the  debt  to  Aaron  Moses  prove  to 

have   been   paid   off,  (as  it  is  stated  was  rumored    to  have 

been  the  fact,)  by  Geoffrey  Dreddlington,  the  younger  son 
of  Charles  Dreddlingtoo  ;  for,  should  that  turn  out  to  be 
the  ease,  he  would  probably  have  taken  a  conveyance  to 

himself,  or  to  trustees  for  his  benefit,  from  Aaron  Moses  — 
which  being  in  the  power  of  the  defendant,  Mr.  Aubrey, 
would  enable  him  to  make  out  a  title  to  the  property, 
paramount  to  that  now  attempted  to  be  set  up  on  behalf  of 
Mr.  Titmouse.  Every  possible  exertion,  therefore,  should 
be  made  to  ascertain  the  precise  period  of  the  death  of 
Harry  Dreddlington.  The  registries  of  the  various  par- 
n  which  the  family  may  have  at  any  time  resided 
should  be  carefully  searched ;  and  an  examination  made 
in  the  churches  and  churchyards,  of  all  tombstones,  es- 
cutcheons, etc.,  belonging,  or  supposed  to  belong,  to  the 
Dreddlington  family,  and  by  which  any  light  can  be  thrown 
upon  this  most  important  point.  It  appears  clear  that 
Dreddlington  (the  common  ancestor)  died  on  the  7th  Au- 
gust, 1742:  —  the  question,  therefore,  simply  is,  whether 
<th  of  his  eldest  sou  (Harry)  took  place  prior  or  subse- 
quent to  that  i»  riod.  It  is  to  be  feared  that  the  defendant 
may  be  in  possession  of  some  better  and  more  direct  evi- 
dence on  this  point  than  is  attainable  by  the  lessor  of  the 
plaintiff.  The  natural  presumption  would  certainly  seem 
to  be  that  the  son,  being  the  younger  and  stronger  man, 
was    the    survivor."27 

The  above-mentioned  opinion  of  Mr.  Lynx,  together 
with  that  of  Mr.  Subtle  entirely  corroborating  it,  (and 
which  was  alluded  to  in  a  late  chapter  of  this  history,28) 
and  a  pediirree,  were  lying  on  the  table,  one  day,  at  the 
office  at  Saffron  Hill,  before  the  anxious  and  perplexed 
Quirk  and  Gammon. 
was    looking   attentively,   and   with    a   very 


444  TEN   THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

chagrined  air,  at  the  pedigree;  and  Quirk  was  looking 
at  Gammon. 

"Now,  Gammon,"  said  the  former,  "just  let  me  see 
again  where  the  exact  hitch  is  —  eh  1  You  '11  think 
me  perhaps  infernally  stupid,  but  —  curse  me  if  I  can 
see  it  !  " 

"  See  it,  my  dear  sir  1  Here,  here  /  "  replied  Gammon, 
with  sudden  impatience,  putting  his  finger  two  or  three 
times  to  the  words  "  Harry  D." 

"  Lord  bless  us  !  Don't  be  so  sharp  with  one,  Gam- 
mon !  I  know  as  well  as  you  that  that 's  about  where 
the  crack  is  ;  but  what  is  the  precise  thing  we  're  in  want 
of,  ehT 

"  Proof,  my  dear  sir,"  replied  Gammon,  somewhat  im- 
patiently, but  with  a  smile,  "  of  the  death  of  Harry  Dred- 
dlington  some  time  —  no  matter  when — previous  to  the 
7th  August,  1742;  and  in  default  thereof,  Mr.  Quirk,  we 
are  all  flat  on  our  backs,  and  had  better  never  have,  stirred 
in  the  business  !  " 

"  You  know,  Gammon,  you  're  better  up  in  these  mat- 
ters than  I  —  (because  I  've  not  been  able  to  turn  my 
particular  attention  to  'em  since  I  first  began  business)  — 
so  just  tell  me,  in  a  word,  what  good  's  to  be  got  by  show- 
ing that  fellow  to  have  died  in  his  father's  lifetime  1 " 

"You  don't  show  your  usual  acuteness,  Mr.  Quirk," 
replied  Gammon,  blandly.  "It  is  to  make  waste  paper  of 
that  confounded  conveyance  which  he  executed,  and  which 
Mr.  Aubrey  doubtless  has,  and  with  which  he  may,  at  a 
stroke,  cut  the  ground  from  under  our  feet !  " 

"  The  very  thought  makes  one  feel  quite  funny  —  don't 
it,  Gammon  1 "  quoth  Quirk,  with  a  flustered  air. 

"  It  may  well  do  so,  Mr.  Quirk.  Now  we  are  fairly 
embarked  in  a  cause  where  success  will  be  attended 
with  so  many  splendid  results,  Mr.  Quirk  —  though  I  'm 
sure  you'll  always  bear  me  out  in  saying  how  very  un- 


TEN   THOUSAND    A-YKAK.  445 

willing  I  was  to  take  advantage  of  the  villain-  of  that 

miscreant    Steg  —  hem  "  ■ . 

immon,  Grammon,  you're  always  harking  back  to 
that  —  I'm  tired  of  hearing  on't!"  interrupted  Quirk, 
angrily,  but  with  an  embarrassed  air. 

"Well,   now   we're   in   it,"  said  Grammon,  with   a   sigh, 
and  shrugging  his  shoulders,  "  I  don't  see  why  we  should 
allow  ourselves   to   he   baffled   by  trifles.      The  plain  ques- 
tion is.  undoubtedly,  whether  we  are  to  stand  still  —  or 
Mr.  Quirk  gazed  at  Mr.  Gammon  with  an  anx- 
-   and  puzzled  look. 

•■  How  d  'ye  make  out  —  in  a  legal  way,  you  know,  Gam- 
mon —  wlirn  a  man  died  —  I  mean,  of  a  natural  death1? " 
somewhat  mysteriously  inquired  Quirk,  who  was  familiar 
enough  with  the  means  of  proving  the  exact  hour  of  cer- 
tain violent  deaths  at  Debtor's  Door. 

"  Oh  !  there  are  various  methods  of  doing  so,  my  dear 
sir."  replied  Grammon,  carelessly.  "Entries  in  family 
Bibles  and  prayer-books  —  registers  —  tombstones  —  ay, 
by  the  way.  an  old  tombstone,"  continued  Gammon, 
musingly,   "  that  would  settle  the  business  !  " 

••An  old  tombstone  !  "  echoed  Quirk,  briskly,  but  sud- 
denly dropping  his  voice.  "  Lord,  Gammon,  so  it  would  ! 
That'  i !  —  I  call  that  a  decided  idea,  Gammon. 

'T  would  be  the  very  thing  !  " 

"  The  very  thing  !  "  repeated  Gammon,  pointedly. 
remained  silent  for  some  moments. 
Snap  could  not  have  looked  about  him  sharply  enough 
when  he  was  down  at  Yatton  —  could  he,  Gammon  % "  at 
length  observed  Quirk,  in  a  low  tone,  flushing  all  over  as 
he  uttered  the  last  words,  and  felt  Gammon's  cold  gray 
eye  settled  on  him  like  that  of  a  snake. 

"He  could  not,  indeed,  my  dear  sir,"  replied  Gammon, 
while  Quirk  continued  gazing  earnestly  at  him,  now  and 
then  wriggling  about  in  his  chair,  rubbing  his  chin,  and 


446  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

drumming  with  his  fingers  on  the  table.  —  "And  now 
that  you  've  suggested  the  thing,  [oh,  Gammon !  Gam- 
mon !]  —  it 's  not  to  be  wondered  at  !  —  You  know,  it 
would  have  been  an  old  tombstone  —  a  sort  of  fragment 
of  a  tombstone,  perhaps  —  so  deeply  sunk  in  the  ground, 
probably,  as  easily  to  have  escaped  observation.  Eh  1  — 
Does  not  it  strike  you  so,  Mr.  Quirk1?"  All  this  was  said 
by  Gammon  in  a  musing  manner,  and  in  a  very  low  tone 
of  voice ;  and  he  was  delighted  to  find  his  words  sinking 
into  the  eager  and  fertile  mind  of  his  companion. 

"  Ah,  Gammon ! "  exclaimed  Quirk,  with  a  sound  of 
partly  a  sigh,  and  partly  a  whistle,  (the  former  being  the 
exponent  of  the  true  state  of  his  feelings,  i.  e.  anxiety  — 
the  latter  of  what  he  wished  to  appear  the  state  of  his 
feelings,  i.  e.  indifference.) 

"  Yes,  Mr.  Quirk  1 " 

"  You  're  a  deep  devil,  Gammon  —  I  will  say  that  for 
you ! "  replied  Quirk,  glancing  towards  each  door,  and, 
as  it  were,  unconsciously  drawing  his  chair  a  little  closer 
to  that  of  Gammon. 

"Nay,  my  dear  sir  !  "  said  Gammon,  with  a  deferential 
and  deprecating  smile,  "  you  give  me  credit  for  an  acute- 
ness  I  feel  I  do  not  possess !  If,  indeed,  I  had  not  had 
your  sagacity  to  rely  upon,  ever  since  I  have  had  the 

honor  of  being  connected  with  you  in  business ah, 

Mr.  Quirk,  you  know  you  lead  —  I  follow " 

"  Gammon,  Gammon  !  "  interrupted  Quirk,  with  an 
uncomfortable,  but  still  a  mollified  air,  "  Come  —  your 
name  's  Oily  " 

"  In  moments  like  these,  Mr.  Quirk,  I  say  nothing  that 
I  do  not  feel,"  interrupted  Gammon,  gravely,  putting  to 
his  nose  the  least  modicum  of  snuff  which  he  could  take 
with  the  tip  of  his  finger  out  of  the  huge  box  of  Mr. 
Quirk,  who,  just  then,  was  thrusting  immense  pinches, 
every  half  minute,  up  his  nostrils. 


TEX   THOUSAND    A-YKAK.  447 

"  It  will  oost  a  great  deal  of  money  to  find  that  same 
tombstone,  Gammon!"  said  Quirk,  in  almost  a  whisper, 
ami  paused,  Looking  intently  at  Gammon. 

"I  think  this  is  a  different  kind  of  snuff  from  that 
which  you  usually  take,  Mr.  Quirk,  isn't  it  ]n  inquired 
Gammon,  as  he  inserted  the  tips  of  his  fingers  a  sec- 
ond time  into  the  mechanically  proffered  box  of  "Mi-. 
Quirk. 

••  The  same  —  the  same,"  replied  Quirk,  hastily. 

'•  Y"ti  are  a  man  better  fitted  for  serious  emergencies, 
Mr.  Quirk,  than  any  man  I  ever  came  near,"  said  Gam- 
mon, deferentially;  "I  perceive  that  you  have  hit  the 
nail  on  the  head,   as  indeed  you  always  do!" 

"Tut  !  Stuff,  Gammon \  you  Ye  every  bit  as  good  a 
hand  as  I  am  ! "  replied  Quirk,  with  an  evident  mixture 
of  pleasure  and  embarrassment.  Gammon  smiled,  shook 
his   head,    and  shrugged  his  shoulders. 

"'T  is  that  practical  sagacity  of  yours,  Mr.  Quirk,"  said 
Gamm<»n  —  "  you  know  it  as  well  as  I  can  tell  you  —  that 
has  raised  you  to  your  present  professional  eminence ! " 
He  paused,  and  looked  very  sincerely  at  his  senior 
partner. 

"  Well,  T  must  own  I  think  I  do  know  a  trick  or  two," 
quoth  Quirk,  with  a  sort  of  grunt  of  gratification. 

"  Ay,  and  further,  there  are  some  clever  men  who  never 
can  keep  their  own  counsel;  but  are  like  a  hen  that  has 
just  laid  an  egg,  and  directly  she  has  risen,  goes  foolishly 
cackling  about  everywhere,  and  then  her  egg  is  taken 
away  ;  but  you  " 

"  Ha,  hi  ! "  laughed  Quirk  ;  "  that  's  devilish  good, 
1  aon  !  —  Capital!       Gad,    I    think    I    see    the    hen! 

a!" 

u  Ha,  ha!"  echoed  Gammon,  gently.  "But  to  be  serious, 
Mr.  Quirk  ;  what  I  was  going  to  say  was,  that  T  thoroughly 
appreciate  your  admirable  caution  in  not  confiding  to  any 


448  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

one  —  no,  not  even  to  me  —  the  exact  means  by  which 
you  intend  to  extricate  us  from  our  present  dilemma." 
Here  Quirk  got  very  fidgety,  and  twirled  his  watch-key 
violently. 

"Hem!  But  —  hem  !  Ay — a — a,"  he  grunted,  look- 
ing with  an  uneasy  air  at  his  calm  astute  companion ; 
"I  didn't  mean  so  much  as  all  that,  either,  Gammon; 
for  two  heads,  in  my  opinion,  are  better  than  one.  You 
must  own  that,  Gammon  ! "  said  he,  not  at  all  relishing 
the  heavy  burden  of  responsibility  which  he  felt  that 
Gammon  was  about  to  devolve  upon  his  (Quirk's)  shoul- 
ders exclusively. 

"  'T  is  undoubtedly  rather  a  serious  business  on  which 
we  are  now  entering,"  said  Gammon ;  "and  I  have  always 
admired  a  saying  which  you  years  ago  told  me  of  that 
great  man  Machiavel  " 

[Oh,  Gammon  !  Gammon  !  You  well  know  that  poor 
old  Mr.  Quirk  never  heard  of  the  name  of  that  same 
Machiavel  till  this  moment !]  — 

"  That  '  when  great  affairs  are  stirring,  a  master- move 
should  be  confined  to  the  master-mind  that  projects  it.' 
I  understand  !  I  see  !  I  will  not,  therefore,  inquire  into 
the  precise  means  by  which  I  am  satisfied  you  will  make 
it  appear,  in  due  time  (while  I  am  engaged  getting  up  the 
subordinate,  but  very  harassing  details  of  the  general 
case),  that  Harry  Dreddlington  died  before  the  7th  of 
August,  1742."  Here,  taking  out  his  watch,  he  suddenly 
added  —  "  Bless  me,  Mr.  Quirk,  how  time  passes !  —  Two 
o'clock !  I  ought  to  have  been  at  Messrs.  Gregson's  a 
quarter  of  an  hour  ago." 

"  Stop  —  a  moment  or  two  can't  signify  !  It  —  it," 
said  Quirk,  hesitatingly,  "  it  was  you,  was  n't  it,  that 
thought  of  the  tombstone  % " 

"  I,  my  dear  Mr.  Quirk  "  —  interrupted  Gammon,  with 
a  look  of  astonishment  and  deference. 


TEX  THOUSAND   A-YKVK.  449 

■■<  >me,  come  —  honor  among  thieves,  you  know,  Gam- 
moo  :  "  said  Quirk,  trying  to  laugh. 

••  N<>  —  it  shall   never  be  Baid  that  I  attempted  to  take 

the  credit  of" oommenced  Gammon;  when  a  clerk 

entering,  put  an  end  to  the  colloquy  between  the  partners, 
each  of  whom,  presently,  was  sitting  alone  in  his  own 
room  —  for  Gammon  found  that  he  was  too  late  to  think 
of  keeping  his  engagement  with  Messrs.  Gregson;  if  in- 
deed he  had  ever  made  any  —  which,  in  fact,  he  had  not. 
Mr.  Quirk  sat  in  a  musing  posture  for  nearly  half  an  hour 
after  he  and  Gammon  had  separated.  "Gammon  is  a 
deep  one  !  I  '11  be  shot  if  ever  there  was  his  equal,'"  said 
Quirk  to  himself,  at  length  ;  and  starting  off  his  chair, 
with  his  hands  crossed  behind  him,  he  walked  softly  to 
and  fro.  "I  know  what  he's  driving  at  —  though  he 
thought  I  didn't!  He'd  let  me  scratch  my  hands  in 
getting  the  blackberries,  and  then  he'd  come  smiling  in 
"(.•in  !  But  —  share  and  share  alike  —  share  profit, 
share  danger,  master  Gammon  j — you  may  find  that 
Caleb  Quirk  is  a  match  for  Oily  Gammon  —  I'll  have 
you  in  for  it,  one  way  or  another!"  Here  occurred  a 
long  pause  in  his  thoughts.  "  lleally  I  doubt  the  thing's 
growing  unmanageable  —  the  prize  can't  be  worth  the 
risk  :  —  Risk,  indeed  —  'fore  gad  —  it 's  neither  more  nor 

than  " Here  a  certain  picture  hanging,  covered 

with  black  crape,  in  the  drawing-room  at  Alibi  House, 
seemed  to  have  glided  down  from  its  station,  and  to  be 
•  •fore  his  eyes,  with  the  crape  drawn  aside 
—  a  ghastly  object  —  eugh  !  He  shuddered,  and  involun- 
tarily closed  bis  •  How  devilish  odd  that  I  should 
jost  now  have  happened  to  think  of  it !  "  he  inwardly  ex- 
claimed, etinkiug  into   his  chair  in  a  sort  of  cold  sweat. 

"  D  —  n  the  picture  !  "  at  length  said  lie  aloud — getting 
and  in  re  flustered —  "  I'll  burn  it !  It  sha'n't  dis- 
my  drawing-room  any  longer!"  Here  Quirk  almost 
vol..  i.  -    2 


450  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

fancied  that  some  busy  little  fiend  sat  squatting  before  the 
grisly  picture,  writing  the  words  "  Caleb  Quirk"  at  the 
bottom  of  it ;  and  a  sort  of  sickness  came  over  him  for  a 
moment.  Presently  he  started  up,  and  took  down  one 
of  several  well-worn  dingy-looking  books  standing  on  the 
shelves  —  a  volume  of  Burns'  Justice.  Eesuming  his  seat, 
he  put  on  his  glasses,  and  with  a  little  trepidation  turned 
to  the  head  "Forgery,"  and  glanced  over  it,  divided  as  it 
was  into  two  great  heads — "  Forgery  at  Common  Law, 
and  Forgery  by  Statute"  with  many  able  observations  of 
the  learned  compiler,  and  important  "  cases  "  cited.  At 
length  his  eye  lit  upon  a  paragraph  which  seemed  sud- 
denly to  draw  his  heart  up  into  his  throat,  producing  a 
sensation  which  made  him  involuntarily  clap  his  hand 
upon  his  neck. 

"Oh,  Gammon  !  !  "  he  muttered,  drawing  off  his  glasses, 
sinking  back  in  his  chair,  and  looking  towards  the  door 
which  opened  into  Gammon's  room  ;  extending  at  the 
same  time,  in  that  direction,  his  right  arm,  and  shaking 
his  fist.  "  You  precious  villain  !  —  I  Ve  an  uncommon 
inclination,"  at  length  thought  he,  "to  go  down  slap 
to  Yorkshire  —  say  nothing  to  anybody  —  make  peace 
with  the  enemy,  and  knock  up  the  whole  thing  !  —  For  a 
couple  of  thousand  pounds  —  a  trifle  to  the  Aubreys,  I  'm 
sure.  Were  I  in  his  place,  I  should  n't  grudge  it ;  and 
why  should  he  %  —  By  Jove,"  he  got  a  little  heated  — 
"  that  would  be,  as  Gammon  has  it,  a  master-move  !  and 
confined,  egad  !  to  the  master-mind  that  thought  of  it ! 
—  Why  should  he  ever  know  of  the  way  in  which  the 
thing  blew  up  1  —  Really,  't  would  be  worth  half  the 
money  to  do  Gammon  so  hollow  for  once  —  by  George  it 
would  !  —  Gammon,  that  would  slip  Caleb  Quirk's  neck 
so  slyly  into  the  halter,  indeed ! " 

"I'll  tell  you  what,  Mr.  Quirk,"  said  Gammon,  sud- 
denly re-entering  the  room  after  about  an  hour's  absence, 


TEN   THOUSAND    A-YEAE.  451 

daring  which  he  too  had,  like  his  senior  partner,  been  re- 
volving many  things  in  his  mind  —  "it  has  occurred  to  me, 
that  1  had  hotter  immediately  go  down  to  Yatton,  alone" 
Hereai  Mr.  Quirk  opened  both  hi*  eyes  and  his  mouth 

to  their  very  widest  ;  got  very  red  in  the  face  ;  and  stared 
at  his  placid  partner  with  a  mingled  expression  of  fear 
and  wonder.  '•Han.:  me,  Gammon!"  at  length  he  ex- 
claimed desperately,  slapping  his  fist  upon  the  table  — 
"  if  I  don't  think  you  're  the  very  devil  himself!" — and 
he  sank  hack  in  his  chair,  verily  believing,  in  the  momen- 
tary confusion  of  his  thoughts,  that  what  had  been  pass- 
ing through  his  mind  was  known  to  Gammon;  or  that 
what  had  been  passing  through  his  (Quirk's)  mind,  had 
also  been  occurring  to  Gammon,  who  had  resolved  upon 
being  beforehand  in  putting  his  purposes  into  execution. 
Gammon  was  at  first  completely  confounded  by  Quirk's 
reception  of  him,  and  stood  for  a  few  moments,  with  his 
hands  elevated,  in  silence.  Theu  he  approached  the  table, 
and  his  eye  caught  the  well-thumbed  volume  of  Burns' 
Justice,  open  at  the  head  "  jJ^EKSiSftg  !  "  and  the 
quicksighted  Gammon  saw  how  matters  stood  at  a  glance 
—  the  process  by  which  the  result  he  had  just  witnessed 
had  been  arrived  at. 

"  Well,  Mr.  Quirk,  what  new  vagary  now  1 "  he  inquired 
with  an  air  of  smiling  curiosity. 

••  Vagary  be !  "  growled  old  Quirk,  sullenly,  with- 
out moving  in  his  chair. 

( I  anion  stood  for  a  moment  or  two  eying  him  with  a 
scrutiny.  "What!"  at  length  he  inquired  good- 
bumoredly,  "do  you  then  really  grudge  me  any  share  in 
the  1  t  prise  "I  " 

"  Eh  I  "  quickly  interrupted  Quirk,  pricking  up  his 
"Do  you  intend  to  play  Mackivel !  eh]  What 
you  go  down  alone  to  Yatton  for,  Gammon  ] " 
continued  Quirk,  anxiously. 


452  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAE. 

"  Why,  simply  as  a  sort  of  pioneer  —  to  reconnoitre 
the  churchyard  —  eh  1  I  thought  it  might  have  been 
of  service;  but  if"  — 

"  Gammon,  Gammon,  your  hand  !  I  understand,"  re- 
plied Quirk,  evidently  vastly  relieved  —  most  cordially 
shaking  the  cold  hand  of  Gammon. 

"  But  understand,  Mr.  Quirk,"  said  he,  in  a  very  per- 
emptory manner,  "  no  one  upon  earth  is  to  know  of  my 
visit  to  Yatton  except  yourself." 

He  received  a  solemn  pledge  to  that  effect ;  and  pres- 
ently the  partners  separated,  a  little  better  satisfied  with 
each  other.  Though  not  a  word  passed  between  them  for 
several  days  afterwards  on  the  topic  chiefly  discussed  dur- 
ing the  interview  above  described,  the  reader  may  easily 
imagine  that  neither  of  them  dropped  it  from  his  thoughts. 
Mr.  Quirk,  shortly  afterwards,  paid  one  or  two  visits  to  the 
neighborhood  of  Houndsditch,  (a  perfect  hotbed  of  clients 
to  the  firm,)  where  resided  two  or  three  gentlemen  of  the 
Jewish  persuasion,  who  had  been  placed,  from  time  to  time, 
under  considerable  obligations  by  the  firm  of  Quirk,  Gam- 
mon, and  Snap,  in  respect  of  professional  services  rendered 
both  to  themselves  and  to  their  friends.  One  of  them,  in 
particular,  had  a  painful  consciousness  that  it  was  in  old 
Mr.  Quirk's  power  at  any  time  by  a  whisper  to  place  his 

—  the  aforesaid  Israelite's  —  neck  in  an  unsightly  noose 
which  every  now  and  then  might  be  seen  dangling  from  a 
beam  opposite  Debtor's  Door,  Newgate,  about  eight  o'clock 
in  the  morning ;  him,  therefore,  every  consideration  of  in- 
terest and  of  gratitude  combined  to  render  subservient  to 
the  reasonable  wishes  of  Mr.  Quirk.  He  was  a  most  ingen- 
ious little  fellow,  and  had  a  great  taste  for  the  imitative  arts 

—  so  strong  in  fact,  that  it  had  once  or  twice  placed  him 
in  some  jeopardy  with  the  Goths  and  Vandals  of  the  law  ; 
who  characterized  the  noble  art  in  which  he  excelled,  by 
a  very  ugly  and  formidable  word,  and  annexed  the  most 


TEN   THOUSAND   A-VKAK.  453 

barbarous  penalties  to  its  practice.  What  passed  between 
him  and  old  Quirk  on  the  occasion  of  their  interviews, 
I  know  not  ;  but  one  afternoon,  the  latter,  on  returning 

-  office,  without  Baying  anything  to  anybody,  having 
bolted  the  door,  took  out  of  his  pocket  several  little  pieces 
of  paper,  containing  pretty  little  picturesque  devices  of 
a  fragmentary  character,  with  antique  letters  and  figures 
on  them  —  crumbling  pieces  of  stone,  some  looking  more 
and  some  less  sunk  in  the  ground,  and  overgrown  with 

;  possibly  they  were  designs  for  ornaments  to  be 
added  to  that  tasteful  structure,  Alibi  House  —  possi- 
bly intended  to  grace  Miss  Quirk's  album.  However  this 
might  be.  after  he  had  looked  at  them,  and  carefully  com- 
pared them  one  with  another,  for  some,  time,  he  folded 
them  up  in  a  sheet  of  paper,  sealed  it  —  with  certainly 
not  the  steadiest  hand  in  the  world  —  and  then  deposited 
it  in  an  iron  safe. 


454  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 


CHAPTEK  XIII. 

Yatton,  the  recovery  of  which  was  the  object  of  these 
secret  and  formidable  movements  and  preparations,  not 
to  say  machinations,  was  all  this  while  the  scene  of  deep 
affliction.  The  lamentable  condition  of  his  mother  plunged 
Mr.  Aubrey,  his  wife,  and  sister,  into  profounder  grief  than 
had  been  occasioned  by  the  calamity  which  menaced  them 
all  in  common.  .  Had  he  been  alone,  he  would  »have  en- 
countered the  sudden  storm  of  adversity  with  unshrink- 
ing, nay,  cheerful  firmness ;  but  could  it  be  so,  when  he 
had  ever  before  him  those  whose  ruin  was  involved  in 
his  own1? — Poor  Mrs.  Aubrey,  his  wife,  having  been  two 
or  three  weeks  confined  to  her  bed,  during  which  time 
certain  fond  hopes  of  her  husband  had  been  blighted, 
was  almost  overpowered,  when,  languid  and  feeble,  sup- 
ported by  Mr.  Aubrey  and  Kate,  she  first  entered  the 
bedroom  of  the  venerable  sufferer.  What  a  difference,  in- 
deed, was  there  between  the  appearance  of  all  of  them  at 
that  moment,  and  on  the  Christmas  day  when,  a  happy 
group,  they  were  cheerfully  enjoying  the  festivities  of  the 
season  !  Kate  was  now  pale,  and  somewhat  thinner ;  her 
beautiful  features  exhibited  a  careworn  expression  ;  yet 
there  was  a  serene  lustre  in  her  blue  eye,  and  a  composed 
resolution  in  her  air,  which  bespoke  the  superiority  of  her 
soul.  What  had  it  not  cost  her  to  bear  with  any  sem- 
blance of  self-possession,  or  fortitude,  the  sad  spectacle 
now  presented  by  her  mother !  What  a  tender  and 
vigilant  nurse  was  she,  to  one  who  could  no  longer 
be  sensible  of,  or  appreciate  her  attentions  !     How  that 


TEX    THOUSAND    A-YEAK.  455 

sweet  girl  humored  all  her  venerated  and  Buffering  par 
ent's  little  eccentricities  and  occasional  excitement,  and 
accommodated  herself  to  every  varying  phasis  of  her  men- 
tal malady  !  she  had  so  schooled  her  sensibilities  and  feel- 
be  able  to  maintain  perfect  oheerfulness  and 

composure   in  her  mother's  presence,  on  occasions  which 
I  her  brother  to  turn  aside  with  an  eye  of  agony  — 

ovorcme  by  some  touching  Bpeech  or  wayward  action  of 
the  unconscious  sufferer,  who  constantly  imagined  herself, 

soul  !  to  be  living  over  again  her  early  married  life  ; 
and  that  in  her  little  grandchildren  she  beheld  Mr.  Aubrey 
and  Kate  as  in  their  childhood!  She  would  gently  chide 
Mr.  Aubrey,  her  husband,  for  his  prolonged  absence,  asking- 
many  times  a  day  whether  he  had  returned  from  London. 
Every  morning  old  Jacob  Jones  was  shown  into  her  cham- 
ber, at  the  hour  at  which  he  had  been  accustomed,  in 
happier  days,  to  attend  upon  her.  The  faithful  old  man's 
eyes  would  be  blinded  with  tears,  and  his  voice  choked, 
as  he  was  asked  how  Peggy  got  over  her  yesterday's  jour? 
and  listened  to  questions,  messages,  and  directions, 
which  had  been  familiar  to  him  twenty  years  before,  about 
villagers  and  tenants  who  had  long  lain  mouldering  in 
their  humble  graves  —  their  way  thither  cheered  and 
smoothed  by  Mrs.  Aubrey's  Christian  charity  and  benev- 
olence !  'Twas  a  touching  sight  to  see  her  two  beau- 
tiful grandchildren,  in  whose  company  she  delighted, 
r,  with  a  timorous  and  half-reluctant  air,  into 
her  presence.    How  strange  must  have  seemed  to  them 

\eerfulness  of  the  motionless  figure  always  lying  in 

a  cheerfulness  which,  though  gentle  as  gentle 

could  sufficed  not  to  assure  the  little  things,  or 

set  them  at  their  ease.     Though  her  mild  features  ever 

I  upon  them,  still 't  was  from  a  prostrate  figure,  which 

never  moved,  and  was  always  surrounded  by  mournful  per- 

straint  in  their  countenances  and 


456  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

gestures  !  Charles  would  stand  watching  her,  with  ap- 
prehensive eye  —  the  finger  of  one  hand  raised  to  his  lip, 
while  his  other  retained  the  hand  which  had  brought  him 
in,  as  if  fearful  of  its  quitting  hold  of  him ;  the  few  words 
he  could  be  brought  to  speak  were  in  a  subdued  tone  and 
hurried  utterance; — and  when,  having  been  lifted  up  to 
kiss  his  grandmamma,  he  and  his  sister  were  taken  out  of 
the  chamber,  their  little  breasts  would  heave  a  sigh  which 
showed  how  sensibly  they  were  relieved  from  their  recent 
constraint  ! 

How  wofully  changed  was  everything  in  the  once  cheer- 
ful old  Hall !  Mr.  Aubrey  sitting  in  the  library,  intently 
engaged  upon  books  and  papers  —  Mrs.  Aubrey  and  Kate 
now  and  then,  arm  in  arm,  walking  slowly  up  and  down 
the  galleries,  or  one  of  the  rooms,  or  the  hall,  not  with 
their  former  sprightly  gayety,  but  pensive,  and  often  in 
tears,  and  then  returning  to  the  chamber  of  their  suffer- 
ing parent.  All  this  was  sad  work,  indeed,  and  seemed, 
as  it  were,  to  herald  coming  desolation  ! 

But  little  variation  occurred,  for  several  weeks,  in  the 
condition  of  Mrs.  Aubrey,  except  that  she  grew  visibly 
feebler.  One  morning,  however,  about  six  weeks  after 
her  seizure,  from  certain  symptoms,  the  medical  men 
intimated  their  opinion  that  some  important  change  was 
on  the  eve  of  taking  place,  for  which  they  prepared  the 
family.  She  had  been  very  restless  during  the  night. 
After  frequent  intervals  of  uneasy  sleep,  she  would  awake 
with  evident  surprise  and  bewilderment.  Sometimes  a 
peculiar  smile  would  flit  over  her  emaciated  features  • 
at  others,  they  would  be  overcast  with  gloom,  and  she 
would  seem  struggling  to  suppress  tears.  Her  voice,  too, 
when  she  spoke,  was  feeble  and  tremulous ;  and  she  would 
sigh,  and  shake  her  head  mournfully.  Old  Jacob  Jones, 
not  being  introduced  at  the  accustomed  hour,  she  asked 
for  him.     When  he  made  his  appearance,  she  gazed  at 


TEX    THOUSAND    A-Y1.AK.  457 

him  for  a  moment  or  two,  with  a  perplexed  eye,  exclaim- 
in::.  "Jacob!  Jacob!  is  it  you?"  in  a  very  low  tone; 
and  then  Bhe  closed  her  eyes,  apparently  falling  asleep. 
Thus  passed  the  day  ;  ber  daughter  and  daughter-in-law 
sitting  on  either  side  of  the  bed,  where  they  had  so  long 
kept  their  anxious  and  affectionate  vigils — Mr.  Aubrey 
sitting  at  the  foot  of  the  bed  —  and  Dr.  Goddart  and  Mr. 
Whately  in  frequent  attendance.  Towards  the  evening, 
Dr.  Tatham  also,  as  had  been  his  daily  custom  through 
her  illness,  appeared,  and  in  a  low  tone  read  over  the 
service  for  the  visitation  of  the  sick.  Shortly  afterwards 
Mr.  Aubrey  was  obliged  to  quit  the  chamber,  in  order  to 
attend  to  some  very  pressing  matters  of  business  ;  and  he 
had  been  engaged  for  nearly  an  hour,  intending  almost 
every  moment  to  return  to  his  mother's  chamber,  when 
Dr.  Tatham  entered,  as  Mr.  Aubrey  was  subscribing  his 
name  to  a  letter,  and,  with  a  little  earnestness,  said  — 
"  Come,  my  friend,  let  us  return  to  your  mother  ;  me- 
thinks  she  is  on  the  eve  of  some  decisive  change  :  the 
issue  is  with  God !  "  Within  a  very  few  moments  they 
were  both  at  the  bedside  of  Mrs.  Aubrey.  A  large  cham- 
ber-lamp, standing  on  a  table  at  the  farther  end  of  the 
the  room,  diffused  a  soft  light,  rendering  visible  at  a 
glance  the  silent  and  sad  group  collected  round  the  bed, 
all  with  their  eyes  directed  towards  the  venerable  figure 
who  lay  upon  it.  Mr.  Aubrey  sat  beside  his  wife  close  to 
his  mother;  and  taking  her  white  emaciated  hand  into 
his  own,  gently  raised  it  to  his  lips.  She  seemed  dozing: 
but  his  action  appeared  to  rouse  her  for  a  moment. 
Presently  she  fixed  her  eye  upon  him  —  its  expression, 
the  while,  slowly  but  perceptibly  changing,  and  exciting 
_'•  feelings  within  him.  He  trembled,  and  removed 
not  his  eye  from  hers.  He  turned  very  pale  —  for  the 
whole  expression  of  his  mother's  countenance,  which  was 
turned   full  towards  him,   was  changing.     Through  the 


458  TEN   THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

clouded  windows  of  the  falling  fabric,  behold  !  its  long- 
imprisoned  tenant,  the  soul,  had  arisen  from  its  torpor, 
and  was  looking  at  him.  Reason  was  re-appearing.  It 
was,  indeed,  his  mother,  and  in  her  right  mind,  that  was 
gazing  at  him.  He  scarcely  breathed.  At  length  surprise 
and  apprehension  yielded  before  a  gush  of  tenderness  and 
love.  With  what  an  unutterable  look  was  his  mother  at 
that  moment  regarding  him  !  His  lip  quivered  —  his 
eye  overflowed  —  and,  as  he  felt  her  fingers  very  gently 
compressing  his  own,  his  tears  fell  down.  Gently  leaning 
forward,  he  kissed  her  cheek,  and  sank  on  one  knee  beside 
the  bed. 

"  Is  it  you,  my  son  1 "  said  she,  in  a  very  low  tone,  but 
in  her  own  voice,  and  it  stirred  up  instantly  a  thousand 
fond  recollections,  almost  overpowering  him.  He  kissed 
her  hand  with  fervent  energy,  but  spoke  not.  She  con- 
tinued gazing  at  him  with  mingled  solemnity  and  fond- 
ness. Her  eye  seemed  brightening  as  it  remained  fixed 
upon  him.  Again  she  spoke,  in  a  very  low  but  clear 
voice  —  every  thrilling  word  being  heard  by  all  around 
her  :  "  Or  ever  the  silver  cord  be  loosed,  or  the  golden 
bowl  be  broken,  or  the  pitcher  be  broken  at  the  fountain, 
or  the  wheel  broken  at  the  cistern,  —  Then  shall  the  dust 
return  to  the  earth  as  it  was ;  and  the  spirit  shall  return 
unto  God  who  gave  it."  It  would  be  in  vain  to  attempt 
to  describe  the  manner  in  which  these  words  were  spoken ; 
and  which  fell  upon  those  who  heard  them  as  though  they 
were  listening  to  one  from  the  dead. 

"  My  mother  !  —  my  mother !  "  at  length  faltered 
Aubrey. 

"  God  bless  thee,  my  son  !  "  said  she,  solemnly.     "  And 

Catherine,   my   daughter  —  God   bless  thee"  she 

presently  added,  gently  turning  round  her  head  towards 
the  quarter  whence  a  stifled  sob  issued  from  Miss  Aubrey, 
who  rose,  trembling,  and  leaning  over,  kissed  her  mother. 


TEX    THOUSAND    A-YEAK.  459 

u Agnes,  are  you  here  —  and    your  little  ones] — God 

" Her   voire    got   fainter,  and   her  eyes    closed. 

Mr.    Whately    gave  her  a   few   drops  of  ether,  and   she 
ltly  revived. 

d  hath  been  very  good  to  you,  Madam,"  said  Dr. 
Tatham,  observing  her  eye  fixed  upon  him,  "to  restore 
you  thus  to  your  children." 

"I  have  been  long  absent — long!  —  I  wake,  my  chil- 
dren, bnt  to  bid  you  farewell,  forever,  upon  earth." 

"Say  not  so,  my  mother — my  precious  mother!"' 
exclaimed  her  son,  in  vain  endeavoring  to  suppress  his 
emotions. 

"I  do,  my  son  !  Weep  not  for  me;  I  am  old,  and 
am  summoned  away  from  among  you  "  —  She  ceased,  as  if 
from  exhaustion  ;  and  no  one  spoke  for  some  minutes. 

M  It  may  be  that  God  hath  roused  me,  as  it  were,  from 
the  dead,  to  comfort  my  sorrowful  children  with  words  of 
1  Mrs.  Aubrey,  with  much  more  power  and 
distinctness  than  before.  "  Hope  ye,  then,  in  God ;  for 
ye  shall  yet  praise  him  who  is  the  health  of  your  coun- 
tenance, and  your  God ! " 

u  We  will  remember,  my  mother,  your  words  !  "  faltered 
her  son. 

"  Yes,  my  son  —  if  days  of  darkness  be  at  hand"  — 
She  ceased.  Again  Mr.  Whately  placed  to  her  white 
lips  a  glass  with  some  reviving  fluid  —  looking  ominously 
at  Mr.  Aubrey;  as  he  found  that  she  continued  insensible. 
Aubrey  sobbed  audibly  ;  indeed  all  present  were 
powerfully  affected.  Again  Mrs.  Aubrey  revived,  and 
swallowed  a  few  drops  of  wine  and  water.  A  heavenly 
nity  diffused  itself  over  her  emaciated  features. 

"We  Bhall  meet  again,  my  loves]  —  lean  no  longer 
see  you  with  the  eyes  of" —  Mr.  Whately  observing  a 
sudden  change,  came  nearer  to  her. 

"p.  ice  !"  Bhe  murmured  almost  inarticulately. 


460  TEN  THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

A  dead  silence  ensued,  interrupted  only  by  smothered 
sobs.  Her  children  sank  on  their  knees,  and  buried  their 
faces  in  their  hands,  trembling. 

Mr.  Whately  made  a  silent  signal  to  Dr.  Tatham,  that 
life  had  ceased  —  that  the  beloved  spirit  had  passed  away. 
"  The  Lord  gave,  and  the  Lord  hath  taken  away  :  blessed 
be  the  name  of  the  Lord  !  "  said  Dr.  Tatham,  with  tremu- 
lous solemnity.  Mrs.  Aubrey  and  Miss  Aubrey,  no  longer 
able  to  restrain  their  feelings,  wept  bitterly ;  and  over- 
powered with  grief,  were  supported  out  of  the  room  by 
Dr.  Tatham  and  Mr.  Aubrey. 

As  soon  as  it  was  known  that  this  venerable  lady  was  no 
more,  universal  reverence  was  testified  for  her  memory, 
and  sympathy  for  the  afflicted  survivors,  by  even  those, 
high  and  low,  in  the  remoter  parts  of  the  neighborhood 
who  had  no  personal  acquaintance  with  the  family.  Two 
or  three  days  afterwards,  the  undertaker,  who  had  received 
orders  from  Mr.  Aubrey  to  provide  a  simple  and  inexpen- 
sive funeral,  submitted  to  him  a  list  of  more  than  thirty 
names  of  the  nobility  and  gentry  of  the  country,  who  had 
sent  to  him  to  know  whether  it  would  be  agreeable  to  the 
family  for  them  to  be  allowed  to  attend  Mrs.  Aubrey's 
remains  to  the  grave.  After  much  consideration,  Mr. 
Aubrey  accepted  this  spontaneous  tribute  of  respect  to 
the  memory  of  his  mother.  'T  was  a  memorable  and 
melancholy  day  on  which  the  interment  took  place  —  one 
never  to  be  forgotten  at  Yatton.  Whaf  can  be  more 
chilling  than  the  gloomy  bustle  of  a  great  funeral,  especi- 
ally in  the  country ;  and  when  the  deceased  is  one  whose 
memory  is  enshrined  in  the  holiest  feelings  of  all  who 
knew  her  ]  What  person  was  there,  for  miles  around, 
who  could  not  speak  of  the  courtesies,  the  charities,  the 
goodness  of  Madam  Aubrey] 

"  When  the  ear  heard  her,  then  it  blessed  her  ;  and  when  the  eye 
saw  her,  it  gave  witness  to  her : 


TEX    THOUSAND    A-YKAK.  4G1 

she  delivered  the  poor  that  cried,  and  the  fatherleu, 

and  him  that  had  none  to  help  him. 

"77  of  hi?*  that  woe  ready  to  perish  came  upon  her, 

and  sin  caused  tk  hheari  to  sing  for  joy, 

-  (o  the  blind,  and  feet  was  sh<  to  the  lame. 
was  a  mother  to  the  poor" 

Pale  as  death,  the  chief  mourner,  wrapped  in  his  Mack 
cloak,    is   Btepping    into    the    mourning-coach,      Xo   one 

speaks  to  him  ;  his  face  is  buried  in  his  handkerchief;  his 
heart  seems  breaking.      He  thinks  of  her  whose  dear  dust 

>re  him  ;  —  then  of  the  beloved  beings  whom  he  has 

left  alone  in  their  agony  till  his  return  —  his  wife  and 

The  procession  is  moving  slowly  on — long,  silent 

of  t  lie  tenantry  and  villagers,  old  and  young,  male 
and  female  —  not  a  dry  eye  among  them,  nor  a  syllable 
spuken  —  stand  on  each  side  of  the  way  ;  no  sound  heard 
but  of  horses'  feet,  and  wheels  crushing  along  the  wet 
gravel  —  for  the  day  is  most  gloomy  and  inclement.  As 
they  quit  the  gates,  carriage  after  carriage  follows  in  the 
rear ;  and  the  sorrowful  crowd  increases  around  them. 
Many  have  in  their  hands  the  Bibles  and  prayer-books 
which  had  been  given  them  by  her  who  now  lies  in 
yonder  hearse ;  and  a  few  can  recollect  the  day  when  the 
late  lord  of  Yatton  led  her  along  from  the  church  to  the 
Hall,  his  young  and  blooming  bride  —  in  pride  and  joy  — 
and  they  are  now  going  to  lay  her  beside  him  again  ! 
They  are  m<  I  at  the  entrance  of  the  little  churchyard,  by 

Dr.  Tatham,  in  his  surplice,  bareheaded,  and  with 

11  hand  ;  with  full  eye  and  quivering  lip  he  slowly 
precedes  the  body  into  the  church.  His  voice  frequently 
trembles,  and  sometimes  he  pauses  while  reading  the  ser- 
vice. Now  they  are  standing  bareheaded  at  the  vault's 
mouth  —  tli-  last  sad  rites  are  being  performed  ;  and  pro- 
bably,  as  is  thinking  the  chief  mourner,  over  the  last  of 
ho  will  rest  in  that  tomb  ! 


462  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

Long  after  the  solemn  ceremony  was  over,  the  little 
churchyard  remained  filled  with  mournful  groups  of  vil- 
lagers and  tenants,  who  pressed  forward  to  the  dark 
mouth  of  the  vault,  to  take  their  last  look  at  the  coffin 
which  contained  the  remains  of  her  whose  memory  would 
live  long  in  all  their  hearts.  "Ah,  dear  old  Madam," 
quoth  Jonas  Higgs  to  himself,  as  he  finished  his  dreary 
day's  labors,  by  temporarily  closing  up  the  mouth  of 
the  vault,  "  they  might  have  turned  thee,  by-and-by, 
out  of  yonder  Hall,  but  they  shall  not  touch  thee 
here/" 

Thus  died,  and  was  buried,  Madam  Aubrey ;  and  she  is 
not  yet  forgotten. 

How  desolate  seemed  the  Hall,  the  next  morning,  to 
the  bereaved  inmates,  as,  dressed  in  deep  mourning,  they 
met  at  the  cheerless  breakfast-table  !  Aubrey  kissed  his 
wife  and  sister  —  who  could  hardly  answer  his  brief  in- 
quiries. The  gloom  occasioned  throughout  the  Hall,  for 
the  last  ten  days,  by  the  windows  being  constantly  dark- 
ened —  now  that  the  blinds  were  drawn  up  —  had  given 
way  to  a  staring  light  and  distinctness,  which  almost 
startled  and  offended  the  eyes  of  those  whose  hearts  were 
dark  with  sorrow  as  ever.  Every  object  reminded  them 
of  the  absence  of  one  —  whose  chair  stood  empty  in  its 
accustomed  place.  There,  also,  was  her  Bible,  on  the 
little  round  table  near  the  window !  The  mourners 
seemed  relieved  by  the  entrance,  by-and-by,  of  the  chil- 
dren ;  but  they  also  were  in  mourning  !  Let  us,  however, 
withdraw  from  this  scene  of  suffering,  where  every  object, 
every  recollection,  every  association,  causes  the  wounded 
heart  to  bleed  afresh. 

Great  troubles  seem  coming  upon  them ;  and  now  that 
they  have  buried  their  dead  out  of  their  sight,  and  when  time 
shall  have  begun  to  pour  his  balm  into  their  present 
smarting  wounds,  I  doubt  not  that  they  will  look  those 


TEX    THOUSAND    A-YF.AU.  463 

troubles  in  the  face,  calmly  and  with  fortitude,  uot  forget- 
ful of  the  last  words  oi'  her  for  whom  they  now  mourn  so 
bitterly,  and  whom,  beloved  and  venerable  being  !  God 
hath   mercifully   taken  away    from   evil  days  that   are   to 

After  much  Consideration,  they  resolved  to  go,  on  the 
ensuing  Sunday  morning,  to  church,  where  neither  Mrs. 
Aubrey  nor  Kate  had  been  since  the  illness  of  her  mother. 
The  little  church  was  crowded  ;  almost  every  one  present, 
-  wearing  a  saddened  countenance,  exhibited  some 
outward  mark  of  respect,  in  their  dress  —  some  badge  of 
mourning  —  such  as  their  little  means  admitted  of.  The 
pulpit  and  reading-desk  were  hung  in  black,  as  also  was 
Mr.  Aubrey's  pew  —  an  object  of  deep  interest  to  the 
egation,  who  expected  to  see  at  least  some  member 
of  the  family  at  the  Hall.  They  were  not  disappointed. 
A  little  before  Dr.  Tatham  took  his  place  in  the  reading- 
the  well-known  sound  of  the  family-carriage  wheels 
beard  as  it  drew  up  before  the  gate;  and  presently 
Mr.  Aubrey  appeared  at  the  church  door,  with  his  wife 
and  sister  on  either  arm;  all  of  them,  of  course,  in 
the  deepest  mourning — Mrs.  and  Miss  Aubrey's  counte- 
nances concealed  beneath  their  long  crape  veils.  For 
some  time  after  taking  their  seats,  they  seemed  oppressed 
with  emotion,  evidently  weeping.  Mr.  Aubrey,  however, 
exhib  t  composure,  though  his  countenance  bore 

of  the  suffering  he  had  undergone.     Mrs.  Aubrey 
sol« lorn  rose  from  her  seat ;  but  Kate  stood  up,  from  time 
to   time,    with   the   rest  of  the   congregation;   her  white 
handkerchief,  however,  might  have  been  seen  frequently 
.  to  her  eyes,  beneath  her  black  veil.     As  the  service 
i  to  have  struggled  with  some  success 
;•   feelings.     To  relieve  herself  for  a  moment 
closeness,  she  gently  drew  aside   her 
veil ;  and  thus,  for  u  few  minutes,  exhibited  a  countenance 


464  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAK. 

which,  though  pale  and  agitated,  was  inexpressibly  beauti- 
ful. She  could  not,  however,  long  bear  to  face  a  congre- 
gation, every  one  of  whom  she  felt  to  be  looking  on  her, 
and  those  beside  her,  with  affectionate  sympathy;  and 
rather  quickly  drew  down  her  veil,  without  again  remov- 
ing it.  There  was  one  person  present,  on  whom  the  brief 
glimpse  of  her  beauty  had  produced  a  sudden,  deep,  and 
indelible  impression.  As  he  gazed  at  her,  the  color  grad- 
ually deserted  his  cheek ;  and  his  eye  remained  fixed 
upon  her,  even  after  she  had  drawn  down  her  veil.  He 
experienced  emotions  such  as  he  had  never  known  before. 
So  that  was  Miss  Aubrey  I 

Mr.  Gammon  —  for  he  it  was,  and  he  had  gone  thither 
under  the  expectation  of  seeing,  for  the  first  time,  some  of 
the  Aubrey  family  —  generally  passed  for  a  cold-blooded 
person ;  and  in  fact  few  men  living  had  more  control  over 
their  feelings,  or  more  systematically  checked  any  manifes- 
tations of  them ;  but  there  was  something  in  the  person 
and  circumstances  of  Miss  Aubrey  —  for  by  a  hurried  in- 
quiry of  the  person  next  to  him  he  learned  that  it  was  she 
—  which  excited  new  feelings  in  him.  Her  slightest  mo- 
tion his  eye  watched  with  intense  eagerness;  and  faint 
half-formed  schemes,  purposes,  and  hopes,  passed  in  rapid 
confusion  through  his  mind,  as  he  foresaw  that  circum- 
stances would  hereafter  arise  by  means  of  which  — 

"  Good  heavens  !  how  very  —  very  beautiful  she  is  !  " 
said  he  to  himself,  as,  the  service  over,  her  graceful  fig- 
ure, following  her  brother  and  his  wife  with  slow  sad  step, 
approached  the  pew  in  which  he  was  standing,  on  her  way 
to  the  door.  He  felt  a  sort  of  cold  shudder  as  her  black 
dress  rustled  past,  actually  touching  him.  What  was  he 
doing  and  meditating  against  that  lovely  being  1  And  for 
whom  —  disgusting  reptile  !  —  for  Titmouse  %  He  almost 
blushed  from  a  conflict  of  emotions,  as  he  followed  almost 
immediately  after  Miss  Aubrey,  never  losing  sight  of  her 


TEN    THOUSAND    A-YKAK.  465 

till  her  brother,  having  handed  her  into  the  carriag 
in  titer  her,  and  they  drove  off  towards  the  Hall. 

The  reader  will  not  he  at  a  loss  t<>  aocount  for  the  pres- 
ence c(  Mr.  Gammon  <>n  this  occasion,  nor  to  connect  it 
with  an  impending  trial  at  the  approaching  York  assizes. 
As  he  walked  hack  to  Grilston  to  his  solitary  dinner,  he 
was  lost  in  thought  ;  and  on  arriving  at  the  inn,  repaired 
at  once  to  his  room,  where  he  found  a  copy  of  the  Sunday 
Flash,  which  had,  according  to  orders,  been  sent  to  him 
from  town,  under  his  assumed  name,  "Gibson."  He  ate 
but  little,  and  that  mechanically  ;  and  seemed  to  feel,  for 
once,  little  or  no  interest  in  his  newspaper.  He  had  never 
paid  the  least  attention  to  the  eulogia  upon  Miss  Aubrey  of 
the  idiot  Titmouse,  nor  of  Snap,  of  whom  he  entertained 
but  a  very  little  higher  opinion  than  of  Titmouse.  One 
thing  was  clear,  that  from  that  moment  Miss  Aubrey 
formed  a  new  element  in  Mr.  Gammon's  calculations ; 
and  for  aught  I  know,  may  occasion  very  different  re- 
sults from  those  originally  contemplated  by  that  calm 
and  crafty  person. 

As  it  proved  a  moonlight  night,  he  resolved  at  once  to 
set  about  the  important  business  which  had  brought  him 
into  Yorkshire  ;  and  for  that  purpose  set  off  about  eight 
o'clock  on  his  walk  to  Yatton.  About  ten  o'clock  he 
might  have  been  seen  gliding  noiselessly  into  the  church- 
yard, like  a  dangerous  snake.  The  moon  continued  to 
shine  —  and  at  intervals  with  brightness  sufficient  for 
his  purpose,  which  was  simply  to  reconnoitre,  as  closely 
as  possible,  the  little  sequestered  locality  —  to  ascertain 
what  it  might  contain,  and  what  were  its  capabilities.  At 
length  he  approached  the  old  yew-tree,  against  the  huge 
trunk  of  which  he  leaned  with  folded  arms,  apparently  in 
a  revery.  Hearing  a  noise  as  of  some  one  opening  the 
gate  by  which  he  had  entered,  he  glided  farther  into  the 
gloom  behind  him ;  and  turning  his  head  in  the  direction 
VOL.  I.  —  30 


466  TEN   THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

whence  the  sound  came,  he  beheld  some  one  entering  the 
churchyard.  His  heart  beat  quickly ;  and  he  suspected 
that  he  had  been  watched  :  yet  there  was  surely  no  harm 
in  being  seen,  at  ten  o'clock  at  night,  looking  about  him 
in  a  country  churchyard  !  —  It  was  a  gentleman  who  en- 
tered, dressed  in  deep  mourning ;  and  Gammon  quickly 
recognized  in  him  Mr.  Aubrey  —  the  brother  of  her 
whose  beautiful  image  still  shone  before  his  mind's  eye. 
What  could  he  be  wanting  there?  —  at  that  time  of 
night  1  Gammon  was  not  kept  long  in  doubt ;  for  the 
stranger  slowly  bent  his  steps  towards  a  large  high  tomb, 
in  fact  the  central  object,  next  to  the  yew-tree,  in  the 
churchyard  —  and  stood  gazing  at  it  in  silence  for  some 
time. 

"  That  is,  no  doubt,  where  Mrs.  Aubrey  was  buried  the 
other  day,"  thought  Gammon,  watching  the  movements 
of  the  stranger,  who  presently  raised  his  handkerchief  to 
his  eyes,  and  for  some  moments  seemed  indulging  in  great 
grief.  Gammon  distinctly  heard  the  sound  of  deep  sigh- 
ing. "He  must  have  been  very  fond  of  her,"  thought 
Gammon.  "  Well,  if  we  succeed,  the  excellent  old  lady 
will  have  escaped  a  great  deal  of  trouble  —  that 's  all ! 
If  we  succeed,"  he  inwardly  repeated  after  a  long  pause  ! 
That  reminded  him  of  what  he  had  for  a  few  moments  lost 
sight  of,  namely,  his  own  object  in  coming  thither ;  and 
he  felt  a  sudden  chill  of  remorse,  which  increased  upon 
him  till  he  almost  trembled,  as  his  eye  continued  fixed 
on  Mr.  Aubrey,  and  he  thought  also  of  Miss  Aubrey  — 
and  the  misery  —  the  utter  ruin  into  which  he  was  seek- 
ing to  plunge  them  both  —  the  unhallowed  means  which 
they  —  which  —  if  necessary  —  he  —  contemplated  resort- 
ing to  for  that  purpose. 

Gammon's  condition  was  becoming  every  moment  more 
serious ;  for  virtue,  in  the  shape  of  Miss  Aubrey,  began 
to  shine  momentarily  in  more  and  more  radiant  loveliness 


TEX   THOUSAND   A-YEAR.  4G7 

before  him  —  and  he  almost  felt  an  inclination  to  sacrifice 
even-  person  oonneoted  with  the  enterprise  in  which  he 
ged,  if  it  would  give  him  a  ohance  of  winning 
the  favor  of  Miss  Aubrey.  Presently,  however,  Mr.  Au- 
.  evidently  heaving  a  deep  sigh,  bent  his  steps  slowly 
hack  towards  the  old  gate,  and  quitted  the  churchyard. 
Gammon  watched  his  figure  out  of  Bight,  and  then,  for 
the  first  time  since  Mr.  Aubrey's  appearance,  breathed 
freely.  Relieved  from  the  pressure  of  his  presence,  Gara- 
mon  began  to  take  calmer  and  juster  views  of  his  posi- 
tion :  and  lie  reflected,  that  if  he  pushed  on  the  present 
affair  to  a  successful  issue,  he  should  be  much  more  likely, 
than  by  prematurely  ending  it,  to  gain  his  objects.  He 
therefore  resumed  his  survey  of  the  scene  around  him; 
and  which  presented  appearances  highly  satisfactory,  judg- 
ing from  the  expression  which  now  and  then  animated  his 
countenance.  At  length  he  wandered  round  to  the  other 
end  of  the  church,  where  a  crumbling  wall,  half  covered 
with  ivy,  indicated  that  there  had  formerly  stood  some 
building  apparently  of  earlier  date  than  the  church. 
Such  was  the  fact.  Gammon  soon  found  himself  stand- 
ing in  a  sort  of  enclosure,  which  had  once  been  the  site 
of  an  old  chapel.  And  here  he  had  not  been  long  mak- 
ing his  observations,  before  he  achieved  a  discovery  of 
so  extraordinary  a  nature;  one  so  unlikely,  under  the 
circumstances,  to  have  happened  ;  one  so  calculated  to 
baffle  ordinary  calculations  concerning  the  course  of 
events,  that  the  reader  may  well  disbelieve  what  I  am 
to  tell  him,  and  treat  it  as  absurdly  improbable. 
rt,  not  to  keep  him  in  suspense,  Gammon  positively 
ered  evidence  of  the  death  of  Harry  Dreddlington 
in  his  father's  lifetime  ;  by  means  of  just  such  a  looking 
tombstone  as  he  had  long  imaged  to  himself;  and  as  he 
had  resolved  that  old  Quirk  should  have  got  prepared, 
before  the  cause  came  into  court.     He  almost  stumbled 


468  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

over  it.  *T  was  an  old  slanting  stone,  scarcely  a  foot 
above  the  ground,  partly  covered  with  moss,  and  partly 
hid  by  rubbish  and  long  damp  grass.  The  moon  shone 
brightly  enough  to  enable  Gammon,  kneeling  down,  to 
decipher,  beyond  all  doubt,  what  was  requisite  to  estab- 
lish that  part  of  the  case  which  had  been  wanting.  For 
a  moment  or  two  he  was  disposed  to  imagine  that  he 
was  dreaming.  When,  at  length,  he  took  out  pencil  and 
paper,  his  hands  trembled  so  much  that  he  felt  some  dif- 
ficulty in  making  an  exact  copy  of  the  inestimable  in- 
scription. Having  done  this,  he  drew  a  long  breath  as 
he  replaced  the  pencil  and  paper  in  his  pocket-book,  and 
almost  fancied  he  heard  a  whispering  sound  in  the  air  — 
"  Verdict  for  the  plaintiff."  Quitting  the  churchyard,  he 
walked  back  to  Grilston  at  a  much  quicker  rate  than  that 
at  which  he  had  come,  his  discovery  having  wonderfully 
elated  him,  and  pushed  all  other  thoughts  entirely  out 
of  his  mind.  But,  thought  he,  doubtless  the  other  side 
are  aware  of  the  existence  of  this  tombstone  —  they  can 
hardly  be  supposed  ignorant  of  it ;  they  must  have  looked 
up  their  evidence  as  well  as  we  —  and  their  attention  has 
been  challenged  to  the  existence  or  non-existence  of  proof 
of  the  time  of  the  death  of  Harry  Dreddlington  :  —  well 
—  if  they  are  aware  of  it,  they  know  that  it  cuts  the 
ground  from  under  them,  and  turns  their  conveyance, 
on  which,  doubtless,  they  are  relying,  into  waste  paper ; 
if  they  are  not,  and  are  under  the  impression  that  that 
deed  is  valid  and  effectual,  our  proof  will  fall  on  them 
like  a  thunderbolt.  "  Gad,"  —  he  held  his  breath,  and 
stopped  in  the  middle  of  the  road  —  "  how  immensely 
important  is  this  little  piece  of  evidence  !  Why,  if  they 
knew  of  it  —  why  in  Heaven's  name  is  it  there  still  1 
What  easier  than  to  have  got  rid  of  it?  —  why,  they 
may  still :  what  can  that  stupid  fellow  Parkinson  have 
been   about  1     Yet,  is   it  because  it  has  become  unim- 


TEX  THOUSAND  A-YEAB. 

portant,  on  account  of  their  being  in  possession  of  other 
evidence  .'  What  OOWI  they  have  to  set  against  so  plain 
a  case  as  ours  is,  with  this  evidence  ?  Gad,  I'll  not  lose 
one  day's  time  ;  but  1  '11  have  half  a  dozen  competent 
witnesses  to  inspect,  and  speak  to  that  same  tombstone 
in  court."  Such  were  some  of  tin1  thoughts  which  ] 
through  his  mind  as  he  hastened  homeward  ;  and  on  his 
arrival,  late  as  it  was — only  the  yawning  hostler  having 
sat  up  to  let  him  in  —  he  wrote  oft*  a  letter  to  Mr  Quirk, 
and  made  it  into  a  parcel  to  go  by  the  mail  in  the  morn- 
ing, acquainting  him  with  the  amazing  discovery  which 
he  had  just  made,  and  urging  Mr.  Quirk  to  set  about 
getting  np  the  briefs,  for  the  trial,  without  delay;    he 

If — Gammon  —  purposing  to  stop  at  Grilston  a  day 
or  two  longer,  to  complete  one  or  two  other  arrangements 
of  an  important  nature.  As  soon  as  Mr.  Quirk  had  read 
this  letter,  he  devoutly  thanked  God  for  his  goodness  ; 
and,  hurrying  to  his  strong-box,  unlocked  it,  took  out  a 
small  sealed  packet,  and  committed  it  to  the  flames. 

Mr.  Aubrey,  as  soon  as  he  had  recovered  from  the  first 
shock  occasioned  by  Mr.  Parkinson's  communication  of 
the  proceedings  against  him,  set  about  acquainting  him- 
self, as  minutely  as  he  could,  with  the  true  state  of  the 

He  had  requested  that  gentleman  to  obtain  from 
one  of  the  counsel  in  London,  Mr.  Crystal,  a  full  account 
of  the  case  for  his  —  Mr.  Aubrey's  —  own  guidance  ;  and 
on  obtaining  a  remarkably  clear  and  luminous  statement, 
and  al  Iting  the  various  authorities  cited  in  it  — 

such  at  least  as  could  be  supplied  to  him  by  Mr.  Parkin- 
Son  — the  vigorous  practical  understanding  of  Mr.  Aubrey, 

by  his  patient  application,  soon  mastered  the  whole 

ad  enabled  him  to  appreciate  his  perilous  position. 

he  could  derive  no  title  through  the  conveyance  of 
Barry  Dreddlington  (which  had  been  got  in  by  Geoffrey 
Dreddlington,)  owing  to  the  death  of  the  former  in  his 


470  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAK. 

father's  lifetime,29  as  he  (Mr.  Aubrey)  understood  from 
his  advisers  could  be  easily  proved  by  the  present  claim- 
ant of  the  property ;  the  right  of  accession  of  Geoffrey 
Dreddlington's  descendants  depended  entirely  upon  the 
fact  whether  or  not  Stephen  Dreddlington  had  really  died 
without  issue ;  and  as  to  that,  certain  anxious  and  exten- 
sive inquiries  instituted  by  Messrs.  Kunnington  and  Mr. 
Parkinson,  in  pursuance  of  the  suggestions  of  their  able 
and  experienced  counsel,  had  led  them  to  entertain  seri- 
ous doubts  concerning  the  right  of  Geoffrey's  descendants 
to  have  entered  into  possession.  By  what  means  his 
opponents  had  obtained  their  clew  to  the  state  of  his 
title,  neither  Mr.  Aubrey  nor  any  of  his  advisers  could 
frame  a  plausible  conjecture.  It  was  certainly  possible 
that  Stephen  Dreddlington,  who  was  known  to  have  been 
a  man,  like  his  uncle  Harry,  of  wild  and  eccentric  habits, 
and  to  have  been  supposed  to  leave  no  issue,  might  have 
married  privately  some  woman  of  inferior  station,  and 
left  issue  by  her,  who,  living  in  obscurity,  and  at  a  dis- 
tance from  the  seat  of  the  family  property,  could  have  no 
opportunity  of  inquiring  into  or  ascertaining  their  posi- 
tion with  reference  to  the  estates,  till  some  acute  and 
enterprising  attorneys,  like  Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon,  and 
Snap,  happening  to  get  hold  of  them,  and  family  papers 
in  their  possession,  had  taken  up  their  case.  When,  with 
impressions  such  as  these,  Mr.  Aubrey  perused  and  re- 
perused  the  opinions  of  the  conveyancer  given  on  the 
occasion  of  his  (Mr.  Aubrey's)  marriage,  he  was  con- 
founded at  the  supineness  and  indifference  which  he  had 
even  twice  exhibited,  and  felt  disposed  now  greatly  to 
overvalue  the  importance  of  every  adverse  circumstance. 
The  boldness,  again,  and  systematic  energy  with  which 
the  case  of  the  claimant  was  prosecuted,  and  the  eminent 
legal  opinions  which  were  alleged,  and  with  every  appear- 
ance of  truth,  to  concur  in  his  favor,  afforded  additional 


TEN    THOUSAND    A-YEAK.  471 

grounds  for  rational  apprehension.  lie  looked  the  danger, 
however,  full  in    the  face,  and  as  far  as  lay  in    his   power, 

conscientious  man,  prepared  for  the  evil  day  which 
mi_rh*  .   come   upon  him.      Certain  extensive   and 

somewhat  costly  alterations  which  he  had  been  on  the 
point  v(  commencing  at  Yatton,  he  abandoned.  i»ut  for 
the  earnest  interference  o(  friends,  he  would  at  once  have 
given  up  his  establishment  in  Grosvauor  Street,  and  ap- 
plied for  the  Chiltem  Hundreds,  in  order  to  retire  from 
political  life.  Considering  the  possibility  of  his  soon 
being  declared  the  wrongful  holder  of  the  property,  he 
contracted  his  expenditure  as  far  as  he  could,  without 
challenging  unnecessary  public  attention  ;  and  paid  into 

inker's  hands  all  his  Christmas  rents,  sacredly  re- 
sol  ving  to  abstain  from  drawing  out  one  farthing  of  what 
might  Boon  be  proved  to  belong  to  another.  At  every 
point  occurred  the  dreadful  question  —  if  I  am  declared 
never  to  have  been  the  rightful  owner  of  the  property, 
how  am  I  to  discharge  my  frightful  liabilities  to  him  who 
is  ?  Mr.  Aubrey  had  nothing  except  the  Yatton  property. 
He  had  but  an  insignificant  sum  in  the  funds;  Mrs. 
Aubrey's  settlement  was  out  of  lands  at  Yatton,  as  also 
was  the  little  income  bequeathed  to  Kate  by  her  father. 
Could  anything  be  conceived  more  dreadful,  under  these 
circumstances,  than  the  mere  danger  —  the  slightest 
probability  —  of  their  being  deprived  of  Yatton?  —  and 
with  a  debt  of  at  the  very  least  SIXTY   THOUSAND  pounds, 

i  him  who  had  been  wrongfully  kept  out  of  his  prop- 
erty ?  That  was  the  millstone  which  seemed  to  drag 
them  all  to  the  bottom.  Against  that,  what  could  the 
kindness  of  the  most  generous  friends,  what  could  his 
own  most  desperate  exertions,  avail  1  All  this  had  poor 
Aubre;  atly  before  his  eyes,  together  with  —  his 

wife,  his  children,  his   sister.      What    was   to   become  of 

'     It  was  lung  before  the  real  nature  and  extent  of 


472  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

his  danger  became  known  among  his  friends  and  neigh- 
bors. When,  however,  they  were  made  aware  of  it,  an 
extraordinary  interest  and  sympathy  were  excited  through- 
out almost  the  whole  county.  Whenever  his  attorney, 
Mr.  Parkinson,  appeared  in  public,  he  was  besieged  by 
most  anxious  inquiries  concerning  his  distinguished  client, 
whose  manly  modesty  and  fortitude,  under  the  pressure 
of  his  sudden  and  almost  unprecedented  difficulty  and 
peril,  endeared  him  more  than  ever  to  all  who  had  an 
opportunity  of  appreciating  his  position.  With  what 
intense  and  absorbing  interest  were  the  ensuing  assizes 

looked  for ! At  length  they  arrived. 

The  ancient  city  of  York  exhibited,  on  the  commission 
day  of  the  spring  assizes  for  the  year  18  — ,  the  usual 
scene  of  animation  and  excitement.  The  High  Sheriff, 
attended  by  an  imposing  retinue,  went  out  to  meet  the 
judges,  and  escorted  them,  amid  the  shrill  clangor  of 
trumpets,  to  the  Castle,  where  the  commission  was 
opened  with  the  usual  formalities.  The  judges  were 
Lord  Widdrington,  the  Lord  Chief-Justice  of  the  King's 
Bench,  and  Mr.  Justice  Grayley,  a  puisne  judge  of  the 
same  court  —  both  admirable  lawyers.  The  former  wras 
possessed  of  the  more  powerful  intellect.  He  was  what 
may  be  called  a  great  scientific  lawyer,  referring  every- 
thing to  principle,  as  extracted  from  precedent.  Mr. 
Justice  Grayley  was  almost  unrivalled  in  his  knowledge 
of  the  details  of  the  law ;  his  governing  maxim  being  ita 
lex  scripta.  Here  his  knowledge  was  equally  minute  and 
accurate,  and  most  readily  applied  to  every  case  brought 
before  him.  Never  sat  there  upon  the  bench  a  more 
painstaking  judge —  one  more  anxious  to  do  right  equally 
in  great  things  as  in  small.  Both  were  men  of  rigid 
integrity  :  't  is  a  glorious  thing  to  be  able  to  challenge 
the  inquiry  —  when,  for  centuries,  have  other  than  men 
of  rigid  integrity  sat  upon  the   English   Bench  1     Lord 


TEN    THOUSAND    A-YKAR.  473 

Widdrington,  however,  in  temper  was  stern,  arbitrary, 
and  overbearing,  and  his  manners  were  disfigured  not  a 
little  by  coarseness;  while  his  companion  was  a  man  of 

exemplary  amiability,  affability,  and  forbearance.  Lord 
Widdrington  presided  at  the  Civil  Court,  (in  which,  of 
course,  w<»uld  come  on  the  important  cause  in  which  we 

are  interested,)  and  Mr.  Justice  Grayley  in  the  Criminal 
Court 

i  after  the  sitting  of  the  court,  on  the  ensuing 
morning  —  "  Will  your  Lordship  allow  me,"  rose  and 
inquired  the  sleek,  smiling,  and  portly  Mr.  Subtle,  dead 
silence  prevailing  as  soon  as  he  had  mentioned  the  name 
of  the  cause  about  which  he  was  inquiring,  "to  mention 
a  cause  of  Doe  on  the  demise  of  Titmouse  v.  Jolter  —  a 
special  jury  cause,  in  which  there  are  a  great  many  wit- 
-  to  be  examined  on  both  sides  —  and  to  ask  that  a 
day  may  be  fixed  for  it  to  come  on?" 

"  Whom  do  you  appear  for,  Mr.  Subtle]  "  inquired  his 
Lordship. 

"  For  the  plaintiff,  my  Lord." 
"And  who  appears  for  the  defendant?" 
"  The  Attorney- General  leads  for  the  defendant,   my 
Lord,"  replied  Mr.  Sterling,  who,  with  Mr.  Crystal,  was 
retained  for  the  defendant. 
11  Well,  perhaps  you  can  agree  between  yourselves  upon 
a  day,  and  in  the  mean  time  similar  arrangements  may 
be  made  for  any  other  special  jury  causes  that  may  re- 
quire it."      After  due  consultation,   Monday   week   was 
agreed   upon   by  the   parties,  and  fixed  by  his  Lordship, 
for  the  trial  of  the  cause.  —  During  the  Sunday  preceding 
it,  V  rk  \\  ifl  crowded  with  persons  of  the  highest  distinc- 
tion from  all  parts  of  the  county,  who  felt  interested  in 
-alt  of  the  great  cause  of  the  assizes.     About  mid- 
ity  travelling  carriage  and  four  dashed  into  the 
q  th     L  indon  road,  and  drove  up  to  the  prin- 


474  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

cipal  inn;  it  contained  the  Attorney-General  (who  just 
finished  reading  his  brief  as  he  entered  York)  and  his 
clerk.  The  Attorney-General  was  a  man  of  striking  and 
highly  intellectual  countenance ;  but  he  looked,  on  alight- 
ing, somewhat  fatigued  with  his  long  journey.  He  was  a 
man  of  extraordinary  natural  talents,  and  also  a  first-rate 
lawyer  —  one  whose  right  to  take  the  woolsack,  whenever 
it  should  become  vacant,  was  recognized  by  all  the  pro- 
fession. His  professional  celebrity,  and  his  coming  down 
"  special  "  on  the  present  occasion,  added  to  the  circum- 
stance of  his  being  well  known  to  be  a  personal  friend  of 
his  client,  Mr.  Aubrey  —  whence  it  might  be  inferred 
that  his  great  powers  would  be  exerted  to  their  utmost 
—  was  well  calculated  to  enhance  the  interest,  if  that 
were  possible,  of  the  occasion  which  had  brought  him 
down  at  so  great  an  expense,  and  to  sustain  so  heavy  a 
responsibility  as  the  conduct  of  a  cause  of  such  magni- 
tude as  this. 

He  came  to  lead  against  a  formidable  opponent.  Mr. 
Subtle  was  the  leader  of  the  Northern  circuit,  a  man  of 
matchless  tact  and  practical  sagacity,  and  consummately 
skilful  in  the  conduct  of  a  cause.  The  only  thing  he  ever 
looked  at,  was  the  verdict  ;  to  the  gaining  of  which  he 
directed  all  his  energies,  and  sacrificed  every  other  con- 
sideration. As  for  display,  he  despised  it.  A  speech,  as 
such,  was  his  aversion.  He  entered  into  a  friendly,  but 
exquisitely  crafty  conversation  with  the  jury ;  for  he  was 
so  quick  at  perceiving  the  effect  of  his  address  on  the 
mind  of  each  of  the  twelve,  and  dexterous  in  accommo- 
dating himself  to  what  he  had  detected  to  be  the  passing- 
mood  of  each,  that  they  individually  felt  as  if  they  were 
all  the  while  reasoning  with,  and  being  convinced  by 
him.  His  placid,  smiling,  handsome  countenance,  his 
gentlemanly  bearing  and  insinuating  address,  full  of  good- 
natured  cheerful  confidence  in  his  cause,  were  irresistible. 


TEN   THOUSAND   A.- YEAR  475 

He  flattered,  he  soothed,  he  fascinated  the  jury,  produc- 
ing an  impression  upon  their  minds  which  they  often  felt 
indignant  at  his  opponent's  attempting  to  efface.    In  fact, 

isi  prima  leader  he  was  unrivalled,  as  well  in  stating 
as  in  arguing  a  case,  as  well  in  examining  as  cross-examin- 
ing a  witness.  It  required  no  little  practical  experience 
to  firm  an  adequate  estimate  of  Mr.  Subtle's  skill  in  the 
management  o{  a  cause  ;  fa-  he  did  everything  with  such 
a  smiling,  careless,  unconcerned  air,  equally  in  the  great 
pinch  and  strain  of  a  case,  as  in  the  pettiest  details,  that 
you  would  he  apt  to  suspect  that  none  hut  the  easiest  and 
most  straightforward  cases  fell  to  his  lot  ! 

Titmouse,  Titmouse,  methinks  the  fates  favored  you  in 

gning  to  you  Mr.  Suhtle  ! 
Next  came  Mr.  Quicksilver,  who  had  received  what 
may  he  called  a  muffling  retainer.  What  a  contrast  was 
he  to  Mr.  Subtle  !  Reckless,  rhetorical,  eloquent,  ready, 
witty  —  possessing  a  vast  extent  of  general  knowledge, 
but  rather  slenderly  furnished  with  law  —  he  presented 
to  the  jury,  himself — not  his  client,  or  his  client's  case; 
infinitely  more  anxious  to  make  a  splendid  figure  in  pub- 
lic, than  to  secure,  by  watchful  activity,  the  interests  of 
his  clients.     Why,  then,  was  such  a  man  retained  in  the 

'  T  was  a  fancy  of  Quirk's,  a  vast  political  admirer 
of  Quicksilver's,  who  had  made  one  or  two  most  splendid 
speeches  for  him  in  libel  cases  brought  against  the  Sunday 
Flash.  Gammon  most  earnestly  expostulated,  but  Quirk 
was  inexorable;  and  himself  carried  his  retainer  to  Mr. 
Quicksilver.  Gammon,  however,  was  somewhat  consoled 
by  the  reflection,  that  this  wild  elephant  would  be,  in  a 
manner,  held  in  check  by  Mr.  Subtle  and  Mr.  Lynx,  who, 
he  hoped,  would  prevent  any  serious  mischief  from  happen- 

Lvnx  possessed  the  qualities  which  his  name  would 

-t  t<>  you.  I  have  partly  described  him  already.  He 
was  a  man  of  minute  accuracy ;  and  "got  up"  every  case 


476  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

in  which  he  was  engaged  as  if  his  life  had  depended  on 
the  result.  Nothing  escaped  him.  He  kept  his  mind  con- 
stantly even  with  the  current  of  the  cause.  He  was  a 
man  to  steer  a  leader,  if  ever  that  leader  should  get,  for 
an  instant,  on  the  wrong  tack,  or  be  uncertain  as  to  his 
course.  His  suggestion  and  interference  —  rare,  indeed, 
with  such  a  man  as  Mr.  Subtle,  incessant  with  Mr.  Quick- 
silver —  were  always  worth  attending  to,  and  consequently 
received  with  deference. 

For  Mr.  Aubrey  also  was  retained  a  formidable  "  bar." 
Mr.  Attorney-General  was  a  man  much  superior,  in  point 
of  intellect  and  legal  knowledge,  to  Mr.  Subtle.  His  mind 
was  distinguished  by  its  tranquil  power.  He  had  a  rare 
and  invaluable  faculty  of  arraying  before  his  mind's  eye 
all  the  facts  and  bearings  of  the  most  intricate  case,  and 
contemplating  them,  as  it  were,  not  successively,  but  si- 
multaneously. His  perception  was  quick  as  light ;  and, 
at  the  same  time  —  rare,  most  rare  accompaniment !  —  his 
judgment  sound,  his  memory  signally  retentive.  Inferior, 
possibly,  to  Mr.  Subtle  in  rapid  and  delicate  appreciation 
of  momentary  advantages,  he  was  sagacious,  where  Mr. 
Subtle  was  only  ingenious.  Mr.  Attorney-General  had  as 
much  weight  with  the  judge  as  Mr.  Subtle  with  the  jury. 
With  the  former  there  was  a  candor  and  straightforward- 
ness —  a  dignified  simplicity  —  which  insensibly  won  the 
confidence  of  the  judge  ;  who,  on  the  other  hand,  felt  him- 
self obliged  to  be  ever  on  his  guard  against  the  slippery 
sophistries  of  Mr.  Subtle,  whom  he  thus  got  to  regard 
with  constant  suspicion. 

Mr.  Sterling,  the  second  counsel  for  the  defendant, 
was  a  king's  counsel,  and  a  rival  of  Mr.  Subtle  upon  the 
circuit.  He  was  a  man  of  great  power ;  and,  on  impor- 
tant occasions,  no  man  at  the  bar  could  acquit  himself 
with  more  distinction.  As  a  speaker,  he  was  eloquent 
and  impressive,  perhaps  deficient  in  vivacity ;  but  he  was 


n.N  THOUSAND  a-YEAR.         477 

a  man  of  clear  and  powerful  intellect ;  prompt  in  seizing 
the  bearings  of  a  e:\se:  a  capital  lawyer;  ami  possessing, 
even  on  the  most  trying  occasions,  imperturbable  self- 
possess 

Mr.  CRYSTAL,  with  some  faults  of  manner  and  bearing, 
was  an  honorable  high-minded  man  ;  clear-sighted  and 
strong-headed  ;  an  accurate  and  ready  lawyer;  vigilant 
and  acute. 

S  i,  then,  the  combatants  in  this  memorable  encoun- 
ter: for  Titmouse  —  Mr.  Subtle,  Mr.  Quicksilver,  Mr. 
Lynx  :  for  Mr,  Aubrey  —  Mr.  Attorney-General,  Mr. 
Sterling,  Mr.  Crystal. 

The  consultation  of  each  party  was  long  and  anxious. 
it  eight  o'clock  on  the  Sunday  evening,  at  Mr. 
Subtle's  lodgings,  Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon,  and  Snap,  ac- 
companied by  Mr.  Mortmain,  whom  they  had  brought 
down  to  watch  the  case,  made  their  appearance  shortly 
after  Mr.   Quicksilver  and  Mr.   Lynx. 

"  Our  case  seems  complete,  now,"  said  Mr.  Subtle,  cast- 
ing a  penetrating  and  most  significant  glance  at  Messrs. 
Quirk  and  Gammon,  and  then  at  his  juniors,  to  whom, 
before  the  arrival  of  their  clients  and  Mr.  Mortmain,  he 
had  been  mentioning  the  essential  link  which,  a  month 
before,  he  had  pointed  out  as  missing,  and  the  marvellous 
good  fortune  by  which  they  had  been  able  to  supply  it  at 
the  eleventh  hour. 

"That  tombstone  's  a  godsend,  Subtle,  isn't  it]  "  said 
Quicksilver,  with  a  grim  smile.  Lynx  neither  smiled  nor 
spoke.  He  was  a  very  matter-of-fact  person.  So  as  the 
case  came  out  clear  and  nice  in  court,  he  cared  about 
nothing  more ;  at  that  moment  he  felt  that  he  should  be 
functus  officio  .'  —  But  whatever  might  be  the  insinuation 
or  suspicion  implied  in  the  observation  of  Mr.  Subtle,  the 
reader  must,  by  this  time,  be  well  aware  how  little  it  was 
warranted  by  the  facts.80 


478  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAK. 

"  I  shall  open  it  very  quietly,"  said  Mr.  Subtle,  putting 
into  his  pocket  his  penknife,  with  which  he  had  been  par- 
ing his  nails,  while  Mr.  Quicksilver  had  been  talking  very 
fast.  "  What  do  you  think,  Mr.  Lynx  1  Had  I  better 
allude  boldly  to  the  conveyance  executed  by  Harry  Dred- 
dlington, and  which  becomes  useless  as  soon  as  we  prove 
his  death  in  his  father's  lifetime  V9 

"Ah!  there's  that  blessed  tombstone  again,"  inter- 
posed  Quicksilver,  with  a  sarcastic  smile. 

—  "Or,"  resumed  Mr.  Subtle,  "content  myself  with 
barely  making  out  our  pedigree,  and  let  the  conveyance 
of  Harry  Dreddlington  come  from  the  other  side  1  " 

"I  thiuk,  perhaps,  that  the  latter  would  be  the  quieter 
and  safer  course,"  replied  Lynx. 

"  By  the  way,  gentlemen,"  said  Mr.  Subtle,  suddenly, 
addressing  Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon,  and  Snap,  "  how  do 
we  come  to  know  anything  about  the  mortgage  executed 
by  Harry  Dreddlington  % " 

"Oh  !  that  you  know,"  replied  Quirk,  quickly,  "we  first 

got  scent  of  in  Mr.  " Here  he  paused  suddenly, 

and  turned  quite  red. 

"It  was  suggested,"  said  Gammon,  calmly,  "by  one  of 
the  gentlemen  whose  opinions  we  have  taken  in  the  case 
—  I  forget  by  whom  —  that,  from  some  recital,  it  was 
probable  that  there  existed  such  an  instrument ;  and  that 
put  us  on  making  inquiry." 

"  Nothing  more  likely,"  added  Mortmain,  "  than  that 
it,  or  an  abstract,  or  minute  of  it,  should  get  into  Stephen 
Dreddlington's  hands  ! " 

"  Ah  !  well !  well ! "  said  Mr.  Subtle,  shrugging  his 
shoulders,  —  "I  must  say  there  's  rather  an  air  of  mys- 
tery about  the  case.  But  —  about  that  tombstone  — 
what  sort  of  witnesses  will  speak " 

"Will  the  evidence  be  requisite,"  inquired  Lynx,  "in 
the  plaintiff's  case  1    All  we  shall  have  to  do  will  be  to 


TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR.  479 

prove  the  fact  that  Harry  died  without  issue,  of  which 
there's  satisfactory  evidence;  and  as  to  the  time  of  his 
death,  that  will  become  material  only  if  they  put  in  the 
conveyance  of  Harry." 

"True  —  true;  ah!  I'll  turn  that  over  in  my  mind. 
Rely  upon  it,  I'll  give  Mr.  Attorney-General  as  little 
to  lay  hold  of  as  possible.  Thank  you,  Lynx,  for  the 
hint.  Now,  gentlemen,"  said  he,  turning  to  Messrs. 
Quirk,  Gammon,  and  Snap,  "  one  other  question  —  What 
hind  of  looking  people  are  the  witnesses  who  prove  the 
later  steps  of  the  pedigree  of  Mr.  Titmouse  ]  Respecta- 
ble 1  eh  ?  —  You  know  a  good  deal  will  depend  on  the 
credit  which  they  may  obtain  with  the  jury!" 

"  They  're  very  decent  creditable  persons,  you  will  find, 
sir,"  said  Gammon. 

"  Good,  good.     Who  struck  the  special  jury1?" 

"  We  did,  sir." 

"  Well,  I  must  say  that  was  a  very  prudent  step  for 
you  to  take  !  considering  the  rank  in  life  and  circum- 
stances of  the  respective  parties  !  However,  to  be  sure, 
if  you  did  n't,  they  would  —  so  —  well ;  good-night,  gen- 
tlemen, good-night."  So  the  consultation  broke  up ;  and 
Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon,  and  Snap  returned  home  to  their 
inn  in  a  very  serious  and  anxious  mood. 

'•You're  a  marvellous  prudent  person,  Mr.  Quirk," 
said  Gammon,  in  a  somewhat  fierce  whisper,  as  they 
walked  along,  "  I  suppose  you  would  have  gone  on  to  ex- 
plain the  little  matter  of  Steggars,  and  so  have  had  our 
briefs  thrown  at  our  heads  " 

"  Well,  well,"  grunted  Quirk,  "  that  was  a  slip  ! "  Here 
they  reached  their  inn.  Titmouse  was  staying  there; 
and  in  Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon,  and  Snap's  absence,  he 
had  got  very  drunk,  and  was  quarrelling  under  the  arch- 
way with  "  Boots ; "  so  they  ordered  him  to  bed,  they  them- 
selves sitting  up  till  a  very  late  hour  in  the  morning. 


480  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

The  consultation  at  the  Attorney-General's  had  taken 
place  about  three  o'clock  in  the  afternoon,  within  an  hour 
after  his  arrival ;  and  had  been  attended  by  Messrs.  Ster- 
ling, Crystal,  and  Mansfield  —  by  Mr.  Runnington,  and 
Mr.  Parkinson,  and  by  Mr.  Aubrey,  whom  the  Attorney- 
General  received  with  the  most  earnest  expressions  of 
sympathy  and  friendship  ;  listening  to  every  question  and 
every  observation  of  his  with  the  utmost  deference. 

"  It  would  be  both  idle  and  unkind  to  disguise  from 
you,  Aubrey,"  said  he,  "  that  our  position  is  somewhat 
precarious.  It  depends  entirely  on  the  chance  we  may 
have  of  breaking  down  the  plaintiff's  case ;  for  we  have 
but  a  slender  one  of  our  own.  I  suppose  they  can  bring 
proof  of  the  death  of  Harry  Dreddlington  in  his  father's 
lifetime  \* 

"  Oh  yes,  sir  !  "  answered  Mr.  Parkinson,  "  there  is  an 
old  tombstone  behind  Yatton  church  which  establishes 
that  fact  beyond  all  doubt :  and  a  week  or  two  ago  no 
fewer  than  five  or  six  persons  have  been  carefully  in- 
specting it ;  doubtless  they  will  be  called  as  witnesses 
to-morrow." 

"  I  feared  as  much.  Then  are  ours  no  more  than 
watching  briefs.  Depend  upon  it,  they  would  not  have 
carried  on  the  affair  with  so  high  a  hand  if  they  had  not 
pretty  firm  ground  under  foot !  Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon, 
and  Snap  are  tolerably  well  known  in  town  —  not  over- 
scrupulous,  eh,  Mr.  Runnington1?" 

"  Indeed,  Mr.  Attorney,  you  are  right.  I  don't  doubt 
they  are  prepared  to  go  all  lengths." 

"  Well,  we  '11  sift  thoir  evidence  pretty  closely,  at  any 
rate.  So  you  really  have  reason  to  fear,  as  you  intimated 
when  you  entered  the  room,  that  they  have  valid  evi- 
dence of  Stephen  Dreddlington  having  left  issue  1" 

"  Mr.  Snap  told  me,"  said  Mr.  Parkinson,  "  this  morn- 
ing, that  they  would  prove  issue  of  Stephen  Dreddlington, 


TEN"   THOUSAND   A-YEAR.  481 

and  issue  of  that  issue,  as  clean  as  a  whistle  —  that  was 
his  phrase." 

"  Ay,  ay  —  but  we  must  n't  take  all  for  gospel  that 
he  would  say,"  replied  the  Attorney-General,  smiling 
sarcastically. 

"  They  've  got  two  houses  filled  with  witnesses,  I  under- 
stand," said  Mr.  Runnington. 

"  Do  they  seem  Yorkshire  people,  or  strangers  1" 

"  Why,  most  of  them  that  I  have  seen,"  replied  Parkin- 
son, "  seem  strangers." 

"  Ah,  they  will  prove,  I  suppose,"  said  the  Attorney- 
General,  "  the  later  steps  of  the  pedigree,  when  Stephen 
Dreddlington  married  at  a  distance  from  his  native 
county." 

They  then  entered  into  a  very  full  and  minute  exam- 
ination of  the  case;  after  which,  —  "Well,"  said  the 
Attorney-General,  evidently  fatigued  with  his  long  jour- 
ney, and  rising  from  his  chair,  "  we  must  trust  to  what 
will  turn  up  in  the  chapter  of  accidents  to-morrow.  I 
shall  be  expected  to  dine  with  the  bar  to-day,"  he  added  ; 
"  but  immediately  after  dinner  —  say  at  half-past  seven 
o'clock,  I  shall  be  here  and  at  your  service,  if  anything 
should  be  required."  Then  the  consultation  broke  up. 
Mr.  Aubrey  had,  at  their  earnest  entreaty,  brought  Mrs. 
Aubrey  and  Kate  from  Yatton,  on  Saturday;  for  they 
declared  themselves  unable  to  bear  the  dreadful  suspense 
in  which  they  should  be  left  at  Yatton.  Yielding,  there- 
fore, to  these  their  very  reasonable  wishes,  he  had  engaged 
private  lodgings  at  the  outskirts  of  the  town.  On  quit- 
ting the  consultation,  which,  without  at  the  same  time 
affecting  over-strictness,  he  had  regretted  being  fixed  for 
Sunday  —  but  the  necessity  of  the  case  appeared  to  war- 
rant it  —  he  repaired  to  the  magnificent  minster,  where 
the  evening  prayers  were  being  read,  and  where  were 
Mrs.  Aubrey  and  Kate.  The  prayers  were  being  chanted 
vol.  i.  — 31 


482  TEN    THOUSAND   A-YEAE. 

as  he  entered  ;  and  he  was  conducted  to  a  stall  nearly 
opposite  to  where  those  whom  he  loved  so  fondly  were 
standing.  The  psalms  allotted  for  the  evening  were  those 
in  which  the  royal  sufferer,  David,  was  pouring  forth  the 
deepest  sorrows  of  his  heart ;  and  their  appropriateness  to 
Mr.  Aubrey's  state  of  mind,  added  to  the  effect  produced 
by  the  melting  melody  in  which  they  were  conveyed  to 
his  ears,  excited  in  him,  and,  he  perceived,  also  in  those 
opposite,  the  deepest  emotion.  The  glorious  pile  was  be- 
ginning to  grow  dusky  with  the  stealing  shadows  of  even- 
ing ;  and  the  solemn  and  sublime  strains  of  the  organ, 
during  the  playing  of  the  anthem,  filled  those  present,  who 
had  any  pretensions  to  sensibility,  with  mingled  feelings 
of  tenderness  and  awe.  Those  in  whom  we  are  so  deeply 
interested,  felt  at  once  subdued  and  elevated  ;  and  as  they 
quitted  the  darkening  fabric,  through  which  the  pealing 
tones  of  the  organ  were  yet  reverberating,  they  could  not 
help  inquiring,  should  they  ever  enter  it  again,  —  and  in 
what  altered  circumstances  might  it  be  *? 

To  return,  however  —  though  it  is,  indeed,  like  descend- 
ing from  the  holy  mountain  into  the  bustle  and  hubbub 
of  the  city  at  its  foot  —  Mr.  Parkinson,  being  most  unex- 
pectedly, and  as  he  felt  it  unfortunately,  summoned  to 
Grilston  that  afternoon,  in  order  to  send  up  some  deeds  of 
a  distinguished  client  to  London,  for  the  purpose  of  im- 
mediately effecting  a  mortgage,  set  off  in  a  post-chaise,  at 
top-speed,  in  a  very  unenviable  frame  of  mind  ;  and  by 
seven  o'clock  was  seated  in  his  office  at  Grilston,  busily 
turning  over  a  great  number  of  deeds  and  papers,  in  a 
large  tin  case,  with  the  words  "  Right  Honorable  the  Earl 
of  Yelverton"  painted  on  the  outside.  Having  turned 
over  almost  everything  inside,  and  found  all  that  he 
wanted,  he  was  going  to  toss  back  again  all  the  deeds 
which  were  not  requisite  for  his  immediate  purpose,  when 
he  happened  to  see  one  lying  at  the  very  bottom  which  he 


TEN    THOUSAND    A-YEAR.  483 

had  not  before  observed.     It  was  not  a  large,  but  an  old 
deed  —  and  he  took  it  up  and  hastily  examined  it. 

We  have  seen  a  piece  of  unexpected  good-fortune  on 
the  part  of  Gammon  and  his  client ;  and  the  reader  will 
not  be  disappointed  at  finding  something  of  a  similar  kind 
befalling  Mr.  Aubrey,  even  at  the  eleventh  hour.  Mr. 
Parkinson's  journey,  which  he  had  execrated  a  hundred 
times  over  as  he  came  down,  produced  a  discovery  which 
made  him  tremble  all  over  with  agitation  and  delighted 
excitement,  and  begin  to  look  upon  it  as  almost  owing  to 
an  interference  of  Providence.  The  deed  which  he  looked 
at,  bore  an  indorsement  of  the  name  of  "  Dreddlington." 
After  a  hasty  glance  over  its  contents,  he  tried  to  recol- 
lect by  what  accident  a  document,  belonging  to  Mr. 
Aubrey,  could  have  found  its  way  into  the  box  containing 
Lord  Yelverton's  deeds ;  and  it  at  length  occurred  to  him 
that,  some  time  before,  Mr.  Aubrey  had  proposed  advanc- 
ing several  thousand  pounds  to  Lord  Yelverton,  on  mort- 
gage of  a  small  portion  of  his  Lordship's  property  —  but 
which  negotiation  had  afterwards  been  broken  off;  that 
Mr.  Aubrey's  title-deeds  happened  to  be  at  the  same  time 
open  and  loose  in  his  office  —  and  he  recollected  having 
considerable  trouble  in  separating  the  respective  docu- 
ments which  had  got  mixed  together.  This  one,  after  all, 
had  been  by  some  accident  overlooked,  till  it  turned  up 
in  this  most  timely  and  extraordinary  manner  !  Having 
hastily  effected  the  object  which  had  brought  him  back 
to  Grilston,  he  ordered  a  post-chaise  and  four,  and  within 
a  quarter  of  an  hour  was  thundering  back,  at  top-speed, 
on  his  way  to  York,  which,  the  horses  reeking  and  foam- 
ing, he  reached  a  little  after  ten  o'clock.  He  jumped  out, 
with  the  precious  deed  in  his  pocket,  the  instant  that  his 
chaise-door  was  opened,  and  ran  off,  without  saying  more 
than —  "  I  'm  gone  to  the  Attorney- General's."  This  was 
heard  by  many  passers-by  and  persons  standing  round ; 


484  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

and  it  spread  far  and  wide  that  something  of  the  utmost 
importance  had  transpired,  with  reference  to  the  great 
ejectment  cause  of  Mr.  Aubrey.  Soon  afterwards,  mes- 
sengers and  clerks,  belonging  to  Mr.  Eunnington  and  Mr. 
Parkinson,  were  to  be  seen  running  to  and  fro,  summon- 
ing Mr.  Sterling,  Mr.  Crystal,  Mr.  Mansfield,  and  also  Mr. 
Aubrey,  to  a  second  consultation  at  the  Attorney-General's. 
About  eleven  o'clock  they  were  all  assembled.  The  deed 
which  had  occasioned  all  this  excitement,  was  one  calcu- 
lated indeed  to  produce  that  effect ;  and  it  filled  the 
minds  of  all  present  with  astonishment  and  delight.  It 
was,  in  a  word,  a  deed  of  confirmation  by  old  Dred- 
dlington,  the  father  of  Harry  Dreddlington,  of  the  con- 
veyance by  the  latter  to  Geoffrey  Dreddlington,  who,  in 
the  manner  already  mentioned  to  the  reader,  had  got 
an  assignment  of  that  conveyance  to  himself.  After  the 
Attorney-General  had  satisfied  himself  as  to  the  account 
to  be  given  of  the  deed  —  the  custody  whence  it  came, 
namely,  the  attorney  for  the  defendant ;  Mr.  Parkinson 
undertaking  to  swear,  without  any  hesitation,  that  what- 
ever deeds  of  Mr.  Aubrey's  he  possessed,  he  had  taken 
from  the  muniment  room  at  Yatton  —  the  second  consul- 
tation broke  up.  Mr.  Aubrey,  on  hearing  the  nature  and 
effect  of  the  instrument  explained  by  the  Attorney-General 
and  Mr.  Mansfield  —  all  his  counsel,  in  short,  concurring 
in  opinion  as  to  the  triumphant  effect  which  this  instru- 
ment would  produce  on  the  morrow  —  may  be  pardoned 
for  regarding  it,  in  the  excitement  of  the  moment,  as 
almost  a  direct  interference  of  Providence. 

A  few  minutes  before  nine  o'clock  on  the  ensuing  morn- 
ing, the  occasional  shrill  blasts  of  the  trumpets  announced 
that  the  judges  were  on  their  way  to  the  Castle,  the  ap- 
proaches to  which  were  crowded  with  carriages  and  pedes- 
trians of  a  highly  respectable  appearance.  As  the  Castle 
clock  finished  striking  nine,  Lord  Widdrington,  in  a  short 


TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR.  485 

wig  and  plain  black  silk  gown,*1  took  his  scat,  and  the 
swearing  of  the  special  jury  commenced.  The  court  was 
crowded  almost  to  suffocation  ;  all  the  chief  places  being- 
tilled  with  persons  of  distinction  in  the  county.  The 
benehes  on  each  side  of  the  judge  were  occupied  by  ladies, 
who  —  especially  the  Countess  of  Oldacre  and  Lady  De 
la  Zouch  —  evinced  a  painful  degree  of  anxiety  and  ex- 
citement in  their  countenances  and  demeanor.  The  bar 
also  mustered  in  great  force ;  the  crown  court  being  quite 
deserted,  although  "  a  great  murder  case  "  was  going  on 
there.  The  civil  court  was  on  the  present  occasion  the 
point  of  attraction,  not  only  on  account  of  the  interesting 
nature  of  the  case  to  be  tried,  but  of  the  keen  contest 
expected  between  the  Attorney-General  and  Mr.  Subtle. 
The  former,  as  he  entered  —  his  commanding  features 
gazed  at  by  many  an  anxious  eye  with  hope,  and  a  feeling 
that  on  his  skill  and  learning  depended  that  day  the  des- 
tination of  the  Yatton  property  —  bowed  to  the  judge, 
and  then  nodded  and  shook  hands  with  several  of  the 
counsel  nearest  to  him ;  then  he  sat  down,  and  his  clerk 
having  opened  his  bags,  and  taken  out  his  huge  brief,  he 
began  turning  over  its  leaves  with  a  calm  and  attentive 
air,  occasionally  conversing  with  his  juniors.  Everyone 
present  observed  that  the  defendant's  counsel  and  attor- 
neys wore  the  confident  looks  of  winning  men  ;  while 
their  opponents,  quick-sighted  enough,  also  observed  the 
circumstance,  and  looked,  on  that  account  alone,  a  shade 
more  anxious  than  when  they  had  entered  the  court. 
Mr.  Subtle  requested  Gammon,  whose  ability  he  had  soon 
detected,  to  sit  immediately  beneath  him ;  next  to  Gam- 
mon sat  Quirk ;  then  Snap ;  and  beside  him  Mr.  Tit- 
mouse, with  a  staring  sky-blue  flowered  silk  handkerchief 
round  his  neck,  a  gaudy  waistcoat,  a  tight  surtout,  and 
white  kid  gloves.  He  looked  exceedingly  pale,  and  dared 
hardly  interchange  a  word  with  even  Snap,  who  was  just 


486  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEA£. 

as  irritable  and  excited  as  his  senior  partners.  It  was 
quickly  known  all  over  the  court  which  was  Titmouse  ! 
Mr.  Aubrey  scarcely  showed  himself  in  court  all  day, 
though  he  stood  at  the  door  near  the  bench,  and  could 
hear  all  that  passed  ;  Lord  De  la  Zouch  and  one  or  two 
other  personal  friends  standing  with  him,  engaged,  from 
time  to  time,  in  anxious  conversation. 

The  jury  having  been  sworn,  Mr.  Lynx  rose,  and  in  a 
few  hurried  sentences,  to  the  lay  audience  utterly  unin- 
telligible, intimated  the  nature  of  the  pleadings  in  the 
cause.  The  Attorney-General  then  in  a  low  tone  requested 
that  all  the  witnesses  might  leave  the  court.32  As  soon 
as  the  little  disturbance  occasioned  by  this  move  had 
ceased,  Mr.  Subtle  rose,  and  in  a  lowT  but  distinct  tone 
said,  "May  it  please  your  Lordship  —  Gentlemen  of  the 
Jury,  —  In  this  cause  I  have  the  honor  to  appear  before 
you  as  counsel  for  the  plaintiff;  and  it  now  becomes  my 
duty  to  state  as  briefly  as  I  can,  the  nature  of  his  case. 
It  is  impossible,  gentlemen,  that  wTe  should  not  be  aware 
of  the  unusual  interest  excited  by  this  cause ;  and  which 
may  be  accounted  for  by  the  very  large  estates  in  this 
county  which  are  sought  this  day  to  be  transferred  to  a 
comparative  stranger,  from  the  family  who  have  long  en- 
joyed them,  and  of  whom  I  am  anxious  to  say  everything 
respectful ;  for  you  will  very  soon  find  that  the  name  on 
the  record  is  that  of  only  the  nominal  defendant ;  and  al- 
though all  that  is  professed  to  be  this  day  sought  to  be 
recovered  is  a  very  trifling  portion  of  the  property,  your 
verdict  will  undoubtedly  in  effect  decide  the  question  as 
to  the  true  ownership  and  enjoyment  of  the  large  estates 
now  held  by  the  gentleman  who  is  the  substantial  defend- 
ant —  I  mean  Mr.  Aubrey,  the  member  of  Parliament  for 
the  borough  of  Yatton ;  for  whatever  answer  he  might 
make  to  an  action  brought  to  recover  his  whole  estate, 
he  must  make  upon  the  present  occasion."  '  Aware  of  the 


TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR.  487 

watchful  and  formidable  opponent  who  would  in  due  time 
answer  him,  and  also  of  being  himself  entitled  to  the 
general  reply  —  to  the  last  word  —  Mr.  Subtle  proceeded 
to  state  the  nature  of  the  plaintiff's  case  with  the  utmost 
brevity  and  clearness.  Scarcely  any  sound  was  heard  but 
that  of  the  pens  of  the  short-hand  writers,  and  of  the 
counsel  taking  their  notes.  Mr.  Subtle,  having  handed 
up  two  or  three  copies  of  the  pedigree  which  he  held  in 
his  hand  to  the  judge,  the  jury,  and  his  opponents,  pointed 
out  with  distinctness  and  precision  every  link  in  the  chain 
of  evidence  which  he  intended  to  lay  before  the  jury  ;  and 
having  done  this  —  having  presented  as  few  salient  points 
of  attack  to  his  opponent  as  he  possibly  could  —  he  sat 
down,  professing  his  entire  ignorance  of  what  case  could 
be  set  up  in  answer  to  that  which  he  had  opened.  He 
had  not  been  on  his  legs  quite  half  an  hour ;  and  when 
he  ceased  —  how  he  had  disappointed  every  one  present, 
except  the  judge  and  the  bar !  Instead  of  a  speech  ap- 
parently befitting  so  great  an  occasion  —  impressive  and 
eloquent  —  here  had  been  a  brief  dry  statement  of  a  few 
uninteresting  facts  —  of  dates,  of  births,  deaths,  mar- 
riages, registers,  entries,  inscriptions,  deeds,  wills  —  with- 
out a  single  touch  of  feeling,  or  ray  of  eloquence.  The 
momentary  feeling  of  disappointment  in  the  audience, 
however  —  almost  all  of  whom,  it  may  easily  be  believed, 
were  in  the  interest  of  the  Aubreys  —  quickly  yielded  to 
one  of  satisfaction  and  relief;  as  they  thought  they  might 
regard  so  meagre  a  speech  as  heralding  as  meagre  a  case. 
As  soon  as  he  had  sat  down,  Mr.  Quicksilver  rose  and 
called  the  first  witness.  "We  're  safe  !  "  said  the  Attorney- 
General  to  Mr.  Sterling  and  Mr.  Crystal,  with  his  hand- 
before  his  mouth,  and  with  the  very  faintest  whisper  that 
could  be  audible  to  those  whom  he  addressed ;  and  the 
witness  having  been  sworn,  they  all  resumed  their  seats 
and  their  writing.     The  first  and  the  subsequent  witness 


488  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

established  one  or  two  preliminary  and  formal  points  — 
the  Attorney-General  scarcely  rising  to  put  a  question  to 
them.  The  third  witness  was  examined  by  Mr.  Subtle 
with  apparent  unconcern,  but  really  with  exquisite  anx- 
iety. From  the  earnestness  and  attention  with  which  the 
words  of  the  witness  were  watched  and  taken  down  by 
both  the  judge  and  the  counsel,  who  knew  somewhat 
better  than  the  audience  where  the  strain  of  the  case 
commenced,  it  must  have  appeared  to  the  latter,  that 
either  Mr.  Subtle  under-estimated,  or  his  opponents  over- 
estimated, the  value  of  the  evidence  now  in  process  of 
being  extracted  by  Mr.  Subtle,  in  short,  easy,  pointed 
questions,  and  with  a  bland  and  smiling  countenance. 

"  Not  so  fast,  sir,"  gruffly  interposed  Lord  Widdring- 
ton,  addressing  the  witness. 

"Take  time,  Mr.  Jones,"  said  Mr.  Subtle,  kindly,  fear- 
ful of  ruffling  or  discomposing  an  important  witness. 
The  Attorney-General  rose  to  cross-examine  ;  pressed  him 
quietly  but  closely ;  varied  the  shape  of  his  questions ; 
now  he  soothed,  then  he  startled  by  his  sternness ;  but  sat 
down,  evidently  having  produced  no  impression.  Thus  it 
was  with  one  or  two  succeeding  witnesses ;  the  Attorney- 
General,  on  each  occasion,  resuming  his  seat  after  his 
abortive  efforts  with  perfect  composure.  At  length,  how- 
ever, by  a  very  admirable  and  well-sustained  fire  of  cross- 
questioning,  he  completely  demolished  a  material  witness ; 
and  the  hopes  of  all  interested  in  behalf  of  his  clients  rose 
high.  Mr.  Subtle,  wTho  had  been  all  the  while  paring  his 
nails,  and  from  time  to  time  smiling  with  a  careless  air, 
(though  you  might  as  safely  have  touched  a  tigress  suck- 
ling her  cubs  as  attempted  at  that  moment  to  disturb 
him,  so  absorbed  was  he  in  intense  anxiety,)  believing 
that  he  could  establish  the  same  facts  by  another  and,  as 
he  thought,  a  better  witness,  did  not  re-examine;  but 
calling  that  other,  with  an  air  of  nonchalance,   succeeded 


TEN    THOUSAND    A-YEAR.  489 

in  extracting  from  him  all  that  the  former  had  failed  in ; 
baffling  all  the  attempts  of  the  Attorney-General  to  affect 
his  credit,  At  length,  another  witness  being  in  the 
box,  — 

"  I  object,  my  Lord,  to  that  question,"  said  Mr.  At- 
torney-General, as  Mr.  Subtle,  amid  many  indifferent  and 
apparently  irrelevant  questions,  quietly  slipped  in  one  of 
the  greatest  possible  importance  and  advantage  to  him  — 
had  it  been  answered  as  he  desired.  'T  was  quite  delight- 
ful to  see  the  Attorney-General  and  his  experienced  and 
watchful  juniors  all  rise  at  one  and  the  same  instant  : 
showing  how  vain  were  the  tricks  and  ingenuity  of  their 
sly  opponent.  Mr.  Attorney-General  stated  his  objection 
briefly  and  pointedly ;  Mr.  Subtle  answered  him,  followed 
by  Quicksilver  and  Lynx  ;  and  then  Mr.  Attorney-General 
replied,  with  great  force  and  clearness.  This  keen  en- 
counter of  their  wits  over  — 

"  I  shall  allow  the  question  to  be  put,"  said  Lord  Wid- 
drington,  after  a  pause  —  "  But  I  have  great  doubts  as  to 
its  propriety.  I  will  therefore  take  a  note  of  Mr.  Attorney- 
General's  objection."  Four  or  five  similar  conflicts  arose 
during  the  course  of  the  plaintiff's  case  :  —  now  concern- 
ing the  competency  of  a  witness  —  then  as  to  the  admis- 
sibility of  a  document,  or  the  propriety  of  a  particular 
question.  On  each  of  these  occasions  there  were  dis- 
played on  both  sides  consummate  logical  skill  and  acute- 
ness,  especially  by  the  two  leaders.  Distinctions,  the 
most  delicate  and  subtle,  were  suggested  with  suddenness, 
and  as  promptly  encountered  ;  the  most  artful  manoeuvres 
to  secure  dangerous  admissions  resorted  to,  and  baffled  ; 
the  most  recondite  principles  of  evidence  brought  to  bear 
with  admirable  readiness  on  both  sides.  To  deal  with 
them,  required,  indeed,  the  practised,  penetrating,  and 
powerful  intellect  of  Lord  YViddrington.  Some  points  he 
disposed  of  promptly  to  the  satisfaction  of  both  parties  ; 


490  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

on  others  he  hesitated,  and  at  length  reserved  them. 
Though  none  but  the  more  experienced  and  able  members 
of  the  bar  could  in  the  least  degree  enter  into  and  appre- 
ciate the  nature  of  these  conflicts,  they  were  watched  with 
untiring  attention  and  eagerness  by  all  present,  both  la- 
dies and  gentlemen  —  by  the  lowly  and  the  distinguished. 
And  though  the  intensity  of  the  feelings  of  all  was  mani- 
fest by  a  mere  glimpse  round  the  court,  yet  any  momen- 
tary display  of  eccentricity  on  the  part  of  a  witness,  or 
of  petulance  or  repartee  on  the  part  of  counsel,  would  oc- 
casion a  momentary  merriment  which,  in  point  of  fact, 
served  only  as  a  sort  of  relief  to  the  strained  feelings  of 
the  audience,  and  instantly  disappeared.  The  tombstone 
part  of  the  case  was  got  through  easily ;  scarcely  any  at- 
tempt being  made  on  the  part  of  Mr.  Aubrey's  counsel  to 
resist  or  interfere  with  it.  But  the  great  —  the  hottest 
part  of  the  fight  —  occurred  at  that  point  of  the  case, 
where  Titmouse's  descent  from  Stephen  Dreddlington  was 
sought  to  be  established.  This  gentleman,  who  had  been 
a  very  wild  person,  whose  movements  were  very  difficult 
to  be  traced  or  accounted  for,  had  entered  the  navy,  and 
ultimately  died  at  sea,  as  had  always  been  imagined, 
single  and  childless.  It  was  proved,  however,  that  so 
far  from  such  being  the  case,  he  had  married  a  person 
at  Portsmouth,  of  inferior  station,  and  that  by  her  he 
had  a  daughter,  only  two  years  before  his  death.  Both 
mother  and  daughter,  after  undergoing  great  privation, 
and  no  notice  being  taken  of  the  mother  by  any  of  her 
late  husband's  family,  removed  to  the  house  of  a  humble 
and  distant  relative  in  Cumberland,  where  the  mother 
afterwards  died,  leaving  her  daughter  only  fifteen  years 
old.  When  she  grew  up,  she  lived  in  some  menial  capa- 
city in  Cumberland,  and  ultimately  married  one  Gabriel 
Tittlebat  Titmouse ;  who,  after  living  for  some  years  a 
cordwainer  at  Whitehaven,  found  his  way  to  Grilston,  in 


TEN   THOUSAND    A-YEAR.  491 

Yorkshire,  in  the  neighborhood  of  which  town  he  had  lived 
for  some  years  in  very  humble  circumstances.  There  he 
had  married ;  and  about  two  years  afterwards  his  wife 
died,  leaving  a  son  —  our  friend  Tittlebat  Titmouse.  Both 
of  them  afterwards  came  to  London  :  where,  in  four  or 
five  years'  time,  the  father  died,  leaving  the  little  Tit- 
mouse to  nutter  and  hop  about  in  the  wide  world  as  best 
he  could.  During  the  whole  of  this  part  of  the  case,  Mr. 
Gammon  had  evinced  deep  anxiety ;  and  at  a  particular 
point  —  perhaps  the  crisis  —  his  agitation  was  excessive ; 
yet  it  was  almost  entirely  concealed  by  his  remarkable 
self-control.  The  little  documentary  evidence  of  which 
Gammon,  at  his  first  interview  with  Titmouse,  found  him 
possessed,  proved  at  the  trial,  as  Gammon  had  foreseen, 
of  great  importance.  The  evidence  in  support  of  this 
part  of  the  case,  and  which  it  took  till  two  o'clock  on  the 
ensuing  afternoon  to  get  through,  was  subjected  to  a 
most  determined  and  skilful  opposition  by  the  Attorn  e}T- 
General,  but  in  vain.  The  case  had  been  got  up  with 
the  utmost  care,  under  the  excellent  management  of 
Lynx;  and  Mr.  Subtle's  consummate  tact  and  ability 
brought  it,  at  length,  fully  and  distinctly  out  before 
the  jury. 

"That,  my  Lord,"  said  he,  as  he  sat  down  after  re- 
examining his  last  witness,  "  is  the  case  on  the  part  of 
the  plaintiff."  On  this  the  judge  and  jury  withdrew,  for 
a  short  time,  to  obtain  refreshment.  During  their  ab- 
sence, the  Attorney-General,  Mr.  Sterling,  Mr.  Crystal,  and 
Mr.  Mansfield,  might  have  been  seen,  with  their  heads 
all  laid  close  together,  engaged  in  anxious  consultation  — 
a  group  gazed  at  by  the  eager  eyes  of  many  a  spectator, 
whose  beating  heart  wished  their  cause  godspeed.  The 
Attorney-General  then  withdrew  for  a  few  moments,  also 
to  seek  refreshment ;  and  returning  at  the  same  time  with 
the  judge,  after  a  moment's  pause  rose,  bowed  to  the  judge, 


492  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

then  to  the  jury,  and  opened  the  defendant's  case.  His 
manner  was  calm  and  impressive ;  his  person  was  digni- 
fied ;  and  his  clear,  distinct  voice  fell  on  the  listening 
ear  like  the  sound  of  silver.  After  a  graceful  allusion 
to  the  distinguished  character  of  his  friend  and  client, 
Mr.  Aubrey,  (to  whose  eminent  position  in  the  House  of 
Commons  he  bore  his  personal  testimony,)  to  the  mag- 
nitude of  the  interests  now  at  stake,  and  the  extraordi- 
nary nature  of  the  claim  set  up,  he  proceeded  :  "On  every 
account,  therefore,  I  feel  sensible,  gentlemen,  to  an  un- 
usual and  most  painful  extent,  of  the  very  great  responsi- 
bility now  resting  upon  my  learned  friends  and  myself; 
lest  any  miscarriage  of  mine  should  prejudice  in  any  de- 
gree the  important  interests  committed  to  us,  or  impair 
the  strength  of  the  case  which  I  am  about  to  submit  to 
you  on  the  part  of  Mr.  Aubrey  ;  a  case  which,  I  assure 
you,  unless  some  extraordinary  mischance  should  befall 
us,  will,  I  believe,  annihilate  that  which,  with  so  much 
pains,  so  much  tact,  and  so  much  ability,  has  just  been  laid 
before  you  by  my  learned  friend  Mr.  Subtle  ;  and  estab- 
lish the  defendant  in  the  safe  possession  of  that  large  prop- 
erty which  is  the  subject  of  the  present  most  extraordinary 
and  unexpected  litigation.  But,  gentlemen,  before  proceed- 
ing so  far  as  that,  it  is  fitting  that  I  should  call  your  at- 
tention to  the  nature  of  the  case  set  up  on  the  part  of  the 
plaintiff,  and  the  sort  of  evidence  by  which  it  has  been  at- 
tempted to  be  supported ;  and  I  am  very  sanguine  of  being- 
successful  in  showing  you  that  the  plaintiff's  witnesses  are 
not  entitled  to  the  credit  to  which  they  lay  claim ;  and, 
consequently,  that  there  is  no  case  made  out  for  the  de- 
fendant to  answer."  He  then  entered  into  a  rigorous  anal- 
ysis of  the  plaintiff's  evidence,  contrasting  each  conflicting 
portion  with  the  other,  with  singular  cogency ;  and  com- 
menting with  powerful  severity  upon  the  demeanor  and 
character  of  many  of  the  witnesses.     On  proceeding,  at 


TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR.  493 

length,  to  open  the  case  of  the  defendant  —  "  And  here, 
gentlemen/1  said  he,  "  I  am  reminded  of  the  observation 
with  which  my  learned  friend  concluded  —  that  he  was 
entirely  ignorant  of  the  case  which  we  meant  to  set  up 
in  answer  to  that  which  he  had  opened  on  the  part  of  the 
plaintiff.  Gentlemen,  it  would  have  been  curious,  indeed, 
had  it  been  otherwise  —  had  my  friend's  penetrating  eye 
been  able  to  inspect  the  contents  of  my  client's  strong- 
box —  and  so  become  acquainted  with  the  evidence  on 
which  he  rests  his  title  to  the  property  now  in  dispute. 
My  learned  friend  has,  however,  succeeded  in  entitling 
himself  to  information  on  that  point ;  and  he  shall  have 
it  —  and  to  his  heart's  content."  Here  Mr.  Subtle  cast 
a  glance  of  smiling  incredulity  towards  the  jury,  and  de- 
fiance towards  the  Attorney-General.  He  took  his  pen 
into  his  hand,  however,  and  his  juniors  looked  very  anx- 
ious. "Gentlemen,"  continued  the  Attorney-General,  "I 
am  ready  to  concede  to  my  learned  friend  every  inch  of 
the  case  which  he  has  been  endeavoring  to  make  out ; 
that  he  has  completely  established  his  pedigree.  —  At  all 
events,  I  am  ready  to  concede  this  for  the  purpose  of  the 
case  which  is  now  under  discussion  before  you."  He  then 
mentioned  the  conveyance  by  Harry  Dreddlington  of  all 

his  interest "You  forget  that  he  died  in  his  father's 

lifetime,  Mr.  Attorney-General,"  interposed  Mr.  Subtle, 
with  a  placid  smile,  and  the  air  of  a  man  who  is  sud- 
denly relieved  from  a  vast  pressure  of  anxiety. 

"Xot  a  bit  of  it,  gentlemen,  not  a  bit  of  it  —  'tis  a 
part  of  my  case.     My  learned  friend  is  quite  right ;  Harry 

Dreddlington  did  die  in  his  father's  lifetime  :  —  but" 

Here  Mr.  Subtle  gazed  at  the  Attorney-General  with  un- 
affected curiosity ;  and  when  the  latter  came  to  mention 
"the  Deed  of  Confirmation  by  the  father  of  Harry 
Dreddlington,"  an  acute  observer  might  have  observed  a 
slight  change  of  color  in  Mr.  Subtle.    Lynx  looked  at  the 


494  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

Attorney-General  as  if  be  expected  every  instant  to  re- 
ceive a  musket-ball  in  his  breast ! 

"What,  'confirm'  a  nullity,  Mr.  Attorney-General1?" 
interrupted  Mr.  Subtle,  laying  down  his  pen  with  a  smile 
of  derision  ;  but  a  moment  or  two  afterwards,  "  Mr.  Mort- 
main," said  he,  in  a  hasty  whisper,  "  what  do  you  think  of 
this1?  Tell  me  —  in  four  words  "  —  Mortmain,  his  eye 
glued  to  the  face  of  the  Attorney-General  the  while,  mut- 
tered hastily  something  about  "  operating  as  a  new  grant 
—  as  a  nev)  conveyancer 

"  Pshaw !  I  mean  what 's  the  answer  to  the  Attorney- 
General  % "  muttered  Mr.  Subtle,  impatiently ;  but  his 
countenance  preserved  its  expression  of  smiling  noncha- 
lance. "You  will  oblige  me,  Mr.  Mortmain,"  he  by-and- 
by  whispered  in  a  quiet  but  peremptory  tone,  "  by  giving 
your  utmost  attention  to  the  question  as  to  the  effect  of 
this  deed  —  so  that  I  may  shape  my  objection  to  it  prop- 
erly when  it  is  tendered  in  evidence.  If  it  really  have 
the  legal  effect  attributed  to  it,  and  which  I  suspect  it 
really  to  have,  we  may  as  well  shut  up  our  briefs.  I 
thought  there  must  be  some  such  cursed  point  or  other 
in  the  background  !  " 

Gammon  saw  the  real  state  of  Mr.  Subtle's  mind,  and 
his  cheek  turned  pale,  but  he  preserved  a  smile  on  his 
countenance,  as  he  sat  with  his  arms  folded.  Quirk  eyed 
him  with  undisguised  agitation,  scarce  daring  to  look  up 
at  Mr.  Subtle.  Titmouse,  seeing  a  little  dismay  in  his 
camp,  turned  very  white  and  cold,  and  sat  still,  scarce 
daring  to  breathe  ;  while  Snap  looked  like  a  terrier  con- 
sciously going  to  have  its  teeth  pulled  out ! 

At  length  the  Attorney-General,  after  stating  that,  in 
addition  to  the  case  which  he  had  intimated,  as  resting 
mainly  on  the  deed  of  confirmation,  he  should  proceed  to 
prove  the  pedigree  of  Mr.  Aubrey,  sat  down,  having  spoken 
about  two  hours  and  a  half,  expressing  his  conviction  that 


TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR.  495 

when  the  defendant's  evidence  should  have  been  closed, 
the  jury,  under  his  Lordship's  direction,  would  return  a 
verdict  for  the  defendant ;  and  that,  too,  without  leaving 
the  jury-box,  where,  by  their  long  and  patient  attention, 
they  had -so  honorably  acquitted  themselves  of  the  im- 
portant duty  imposed  upon  them  by  the  constitution. 

11  James  Parkinson  ! "  exclaimed  Mr.  Sterling,  quietly 
but  distinctly,  as  the  Attorney-General  sat  down.  "You 
are  the  attorney  for  the  defendant  ? "  inquired  Mr. 
Sterling,  as  soon  as  the  witness  had  been  sworn.  "  Do 
you  produce  a  conveyance  between  Harry  Dreddlington 
and  Moses  Aaron  *? "  &c.  (specifying  it.)  It  was  proved 
and  put  in,  without  much  opposition.  So  also  was  an- 
other—  the  assignment  from  Moses  Aaron  to  Geoffrey 
Dreddlington. 

"  Do  you  also  produce  a  deed  between  Harry  Dreddling- 
ton the  elder  and  Geoffrey  Dreddlington  1  "  and  he  men- 
tioned the  date  and  names  of  all  the  parties  to  the  deed 
of  confirmation.  Mr.  Parkinson  handed  in  the  important 
document. 

"  Stay,  stay ;  where  did  you  get  that  deed,  Mr.  Park- 
inson 1 "  inquired  Mr.  Subtle,  sharply,  extending  his  hand 
for  the  deed. 

"  From  my  office  at  Grilston,  where  I  keep  many  of 
Mr.  Aubrey's  title-deeds." 

"  When  did  you  bring  it  hither?  " 

"  About  ten  o'clock  last  night,  for  the  purpose  of  this 
trial." 

"  How  long  has  it  been  at  your  office  1 " 

"  Ever  since  I  fetched  it,  a  year  or  two  ago,  with  other 
deeds  from  the  muniment  room  of  Yatton  Hall." 

"  How  long  have  you  been  solicitor  to  Mr.  Aubrey  %  " 

"  For  this  ten  years ;  and  my  father  was  solicitor  to  his 
father  for  twenty-five  years." 

"  Will  you  swear  that  this  deed  was  in   your  office 


496  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

before  the   proceedings  in  this  action  were  brought   to 
your  notice  1 " 

"  I  have  not  the  slightest  doubt  in  the  world." 

"  That  does  not  satisfy  me,  sir.  Will  you  swear  that 
it  was  1  " 

"I  will,  sir,"  replied  Mr.  Parkinson,  firmly.  '*  It  never 
attracted  any  more  notice  from  me  than  any  other  of 
Mr.  Aubrey's  deeds,  till  my  attention  was  drawn  to  it 
in  consequence  of  these  proceedings." 

"  Has  any  one  access  to  Mr.  Aubrey's  deeds  at  your 
office  but  yourself?" 

"  None  that  I  know  of ;  I  keep  all  the  deeds  of  my 
clients  which  are  at  my  office,  in  their  respective  boxes ; 
and  allow  no  one  access  to  them,  except  under  my  imme- 
diate notice,  and  in  my  presence. " 

Then  Mr.  Subtle  sat  down. 

"  My  Lord,  we  now  propose  to  put  in  this  deed,"  said 
the  Attorney-General,  unfolding  it. 

"Allow  me  to  look  at  it,  Mr.  Attorney,"  said  Mr. 
Subtle.  It  was  handed  to  him ;  and  he,  his  juniors,  and 
Mr.  Mortmain,  rising  up,  were  engaged  most  anxiously 
in  scrutinizing  it  for  some  minutes.  Mortmain  having 
looked  at  the  stamp,  sat  down,  and  opening  his  bag, 
hastily  drew  out  an  old  well-worn  volume  which  con- 
tained all  the  stamp  acts  that  had  ever  been  passed  from 
the  time  of  William  the  Third,  when,  I  believe,  the  first 
of  those  blessings  was  conferred  upon  this  country.  First 
he  looked  at  the  deed  — then  at  his  book  — then  at  the 
deed  again ;  and  at  length  might  be  seen,  with  earnest 
gestures,  putting  Mr.  Subtle  in  possession  of  some  opin- 
ion which  he  had  formed  on  the  subject.  "  My  Lord," 
said  Mr.  Subtle,  after  a  pause,  "  I  object  to  this  instru- 
ment being  received  in  evidence,  on  account  of  the 
insufficiency  of  the  stamp."  This  produced  quite  a 
sensation  in  court.     Mr.  Subtle  then  proceeded  to  men- 


TEX    THOUSAND    A-YEAR.  497 

tion  the  character  of  the  stamp  affixed  to  the  deed,  and 
read  the  act  which  was  in  force  at  the  time  that  the  deed 
bore  date  ;  and,  after  a  few  additional  observations,  sat 
down,  and  was  followed  by  Mr.  Quicksilver  and  Mr.  Lynx. 
Then  arose  the  Attorney-General,  having  in  the  mean  time 
carefully  looked  at  the  act  of  Parliament,  and  submitted 
to  his  Lordship  that  the  stamp  was  sufficient;  being- 
followed  by  his  juniors.  Mr.  Subtle  replied  at  some 
length. 

11 1  certainly  entertain  some  difficulty  on  the  point," 
said  his  Lordship,  "  and  will  mention  the  matter  to  my 
brother  Grayley."  Taking  with  him  the  deed,  and  Mr. 
Mortmain's  copy  of  the  stamp  acts,  his  Lordship  left  the 
court,  and  was  absent  a  quarter  of  an  hour —  half  an  hour 
—  three  quarters  of  an  hour ;  and  at  length  returned. 

11 1  have  consulted,"  said  his  Lordship,  as  soon  as  he 
had  taken  his  seat  amid  the  profoundest  silence,  "  my 
brother  Grayley,  and  we  have  very  fully  considered  the 
point.  My  brother  happens,  fortunately,  to  have  by  him 
a  manuscript  note  of  a  case  in  which  he  was  counsel, 
about  eighteen  years  ago,  and  in  which  the  exact  point 
arose  which  exists  in  the  present  case."  He  then  read 
out  of  a  thick  manuscript  book,  which  he  had  brought 
with  him  from  Mr.  Justice  Grayley,  the  particulars  of  the 
case  alluded  to,  and  which  were  certainly  almost  precisely 
similar  to  those  then  before  the  court.  In  the  case  re- 
ferred to,  the  stamp  had  been  held  sufficient ;  and  so, 
his  Lordship  and  his  brother  Grayley  were  of  opinion,  was 
the  stamp  in  the  deed  then  before  him.  The  cloud  which 
had  settled  upon  the  countenances  of  the  Attorney-Gen- 
eral and  his  party,  here  flitted  over  to,  and  settled  upon, 
those  of  his  opponents.  "  Your  Lordship  will  perhaps 
take  a  note  of  the  objection,"  said  Mr.  Subtle,  somewhat 
chagrined.  Lord  Widdrington  nodded,  and  immediately 
made  the  requisite  entry  in  his  notes. 
vol.  i.  —32 


498  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

"  Now,  then,  we  propose  to  put  in  and  read  this  deed," 
said  the  Attorney-General,  with  a  smile  of  suppressed 
triumph,  holding  out  his  hand  towards  Mr.  Lynx,  who 
was  scrutinizing  it  very  eagerly  —  "I  presume  my 
learned  friend  will  require  only  the  operative  parts  to 
be  read  "  —  here  Lynx,  with  some  excitement,  called 
his  leader's  attention  to  something  which  had  occurred 
to  him  in  the  deed  :  up  got  Quicksilver  and  Mortmain ; 
and  presently  — 

"  Not  quite  so  fast,  Mr.  Attorney,  if  you  please,"  said 
Mr.  Subtle,  with  a  little  elation  of  manner  —  "I  have 
another,  and  I  apprehend  a  clearly  fatal  objection  to  the 
admissibility  of  this  deed,  till  my  learned  friend  shall  have 
accounted  for  an  erasure  " 

"  Erasure  !  "  echoed  the  Attorney-General,  with  much 
surprise  —  "Allow  me  to  see  the  deed ;  "  and  he  took  it 
with  an  incredulous  smile,  which,  however,  disappeared 
as  he  looked  more  and  more  closely  at  the  instrument ; 
Mr.  Sterling,  Mr.  Crystal,  and  Mr.  Mansfield  also  looking 
extremely  serious. 

"  I've  hit  them  nowP  said  Mr.  Subtle  to  those  behind 
him,  as  he  leaned  back,  and  looked  with  no  little  triumph 
at  his  opponents —  "  Was  there  ever  anything  so  lucky  in 
this  world  before1?"  From  what  apparently  inadequate 
and  trifling  causes  often  flow  great  results  !  The  plain 
fact  of  the  case  was  merely  this.  The  attorney's  clerk, 
in  copying  out  the  deed,  which  was  one  of  considerable 
length,  had  written  eight  or  ten  words  by  mistake  ;  and 
fearing  to  exasperate  his  master,  by  rendering  necessary 
a  new  deed  and  stamp,  and  occasioning  trouble  and  delay, 
had  neatly  scratched  out  the  erroneous  words,  and  over 
the  erasure  written  the  correct  ones.  As  he  was  the 
party  who  was  intrusted  with  seeing  to  and  witnessing 
the  execution  of  the  instrument,  he  of  course  took  no 
notice  of  the  alteration,   and  —  see  the  result !      The 


TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR.  499 

ownership  of  an  estate  of  ten  thousand  a-year  about  to 
turn  upon  the  effect  of  this  erasure  ! 

"  Hand  me  up  the  deed,"  said  the  judge  ;  and  in- 
spected it  minutely  for  a  minute  or  two,  holding  it  up, 
once  or  twice,  to  the  light. 

"  Has  any  one  a  magnifying-glass  in  court  ]  "  inquired 
the  Attorney-General,  with  a  look  of  increasing  anxiety. 
Xo  one  happened  to  have  one. 

"Is  it  necessary,  Mr.  Attorney?"  said  Lord  Wid- 
drington,  handing  down  the  instrument  to  him  with  an 
ominous  look. 

"  Well  —  you  object,  of  course,  Mr.  Subtle  —  as  I 
understand  you  —  that  this  deed  is  void,  on  account 
of  an  erasure  in  a  material  part  of  it  1 "  inquired  Lord 
Widdrington. 

"  That  is  my  objection,  my  Lord,"  said  Mr.  Subtle, 
sitting  down. 

"  Now,  Mr.  Attorney,"  continued  the  judge,  turning  to 
the  Attorney-General,  prepared  to  take  a  note  of  any  ob- 
servations which  he  might  offer.  The  spectators  —  the 
whole  court  —  were  aware  that  the  great  crisis  of  the 
case  had  arrived  ;  and  there  was  a  sickening  silence. 
The  Attorney-General,  with  perfect  calmness  and  self- 
possession,  immediately  addressed  the  court  in  answer  to 
this  very  critical  and  unexpected  objection.  That  there 
ivas  an  erasure,  which,  owing  to  the  hurry  with  which 
the  instrument  had  been  examined,  had  been  overlooked, 
was  indisputable.  The  Attorney-General's  argument  was, 
first,  that  the  erasure  was  in  a  part  not  material ;  secondly, 
that  even  if  in  a  material  part  of  the  deed,  it  would  not 
be  avoided,  but  the  alteration  would  be  presumed  to  have 
taken  place  before  the  execution  of  the  deed.33  It  was 
easy  to  see  that  he  spoke  with  the  air  of  a  man  who 
argues  contra  spem.  What  he  said,  however,  was  perti- 
nent and  forcible  ;  the  same  mi^ht  be  said  of  Mr.  Ster- 


500  TEN   THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

ling  and  Mr.  Crystal ;  but  they  were  all  plainly  gravelled. 
Mr.  Subtle  replied  with  cruel  cogency. 

"  Well,"  said  Lord  Widdrington,  when  Mr.  Subtle  had 
concluded,  "  I  own  I  feel  scarcely  any  doubt  upon  the 
matter ;  but  as  it  is  certainly  of  the  greatest  possible  im- 
portance in  the  present  case,  I  will  just  see  how  it  strikes 
my  brother  Grayley."  With  this  he  took  the  deed  in  his 
hand  and  quitted  the  court.  He  touched  Mr.  Aubrey,  in 
passing  to  his  private  room,  holding  the  deed  before  him  ! 
After  an  absence  of  about  ten  minutes,  Lord  Widdrington 
returned. 

"  Silence  !  silence  there  !  "  bawled  the  crier  ;  and  the 
bustle  had  soon  subsided  into  profound  silence. 

"  I  think,  and  my  brother  Grayley  agrees  with  me," 
said  Lord  Widdrington,  "that  I  ought  not  to  receive  this 
deed  in  evidence,  unless  the  erasure  occurring  in  an  es- 
sential part  of  it  be  first  accounted  for.  Unless,  there- 
fore, you  are  prepared,  Mr.  Attorney,  with  any  evidence  of 
that  kind,  I  shall  not  receive  the  deed."  The  Attorney- 
General  bowed,  in  silence,  to  his  Lordship. 

There  was  a  faint  buzz  all  over  the  court  —  a  buzz  of 
excitement,  anxiety,  and  disappointment;  during  which 
the  Attorney-General  consulted  for  a  moment  or  two  with 
his  juniors. 

"Undoubtedly,  my  Lord,"  said  he  at  length,  "we  are 
not  prepared  with  any  evidence  to  explain  a  circumstance 
which  has  taken  us  entirely  by  surprise.  After  this 
length  of  time,  my  Lord,  of  course" 

"  Certainly  —  it  is  a  great  misfortune  for  the  parties  — 
a  great  misfortune.  Of  course  you  tender  the  deed  in 
evidence'?"  he  continued,  taking  a  note. 

"We  do,  my  Lord,  certainly,"  replied  the  Attorney- 
General  ;  and  sitting  down,  he  and  his  juniors  took  a  note 
of  the  decision  ;  Lord  Widdrington  and  the  Attorney- 
General's  opponents  doing  the  same. 


TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAK.  501 

You  should  have  seen  the  faces  of  Messrs.  Quirk,  Gam- 
mon, and  Snap,  as  they  looked  at  Air.  Parkinson,  with  an 
agitated  air,  returning  the  rejected  deed  to  the  bag  from 
which  it  had  been  lately  taken  with  so  confident  and  tri- 
umphant an  air  !  —  The  remainder  of  the  case,  which  had 
been  opened  by  the  Attorne3'-General  on  behalf  of  Mr 
Aubrey,  was  then  proceeded  with ;  but  in  spite  of  all 
their  assumed  calmness,  the  disappointment  and  distress 
of  his  counsel  were  perceptible  to  all.  They  were  now 
dejected  —  they  felt  that  the  cause  was  lost,  unless 
some  extraordinary  good  fortune  should  yet  befall  them. 
They  were  not  long  in  establishing  the  descent  of  Mr. 
Aubrey  from  Geoffrey  Dreddlington.  It  was  necessary 
to  do  so ;  for  grievously  as  they  had  been  disappointed 
in  failing  to  establish  the  title  paramount,  founded  upon 
the  deed  of  confirmation  of  Mr.  Aubrey,  it  was  yet  an 
important  question  for  the  jury,  whether  they  believed 
the  evidence  adduced  by  the  plaintiff  to  show  title  in 
himself. 

"  That,  my  Lord,  is  the  defendant's  case,"  said  the 
Attorney-General  as  his  last  witness  left  the  box;  and 
Mr.  Subtle  then  rose  to  reply.  He  felt  how  unpopular 
was  his  cause  ;  that  almost  every  countenance  around  him 
bore  a  hostile  expression.  Privately,  he  loathed  his  case, 
when  he  saw  the  sort  of  person  for  whom  he  was  strug- 
gling. All  his  sympathies  (he  was  a  very  proud,  haughty 
man)  were  on  behalf  of  Mr.  Aubrey,  whom  by  name  and 
reputation  he  well  knew,  and  with  whom  he  had  often  sat 
in  the  House  of  Commons.  Now,  conspicuous  before  him, 
sat  his  little  monkey-client,  Titmouse  —  a  ridiculous  ob- 
ject ;  and  calculated,  if  there  wTere  any  scope  for  the  influ- 
ence of  prejudice,  to  ruin  his  own  cause  by  the  exhibition 
of  himself  before  the  jury.  That  was  the  vulgar  idiot 
who  was  to  turn  the  admirable  ilubreys  out  of  Yatton, 
and  send  them  beggared  into  the  world !     But  Mr.  Subtle 


502  TEN  THOUSAND  A-YEAR. 

was  a  high-minded  English  advocate ;  and  if  he  had  seen 
Miss  Aubrey  in  all  her  loveliness,  and  knew  that  her 
all  depended  upon  the  success  of  his  exertions,  he  could 
hardly  have  exerted  himself  more  strenuously  than  he  did 
on  the  present  occasion.  And  such,  at  length,  was  the 
effect  which  that  exquisitely  skilful  advocate  produced, 
in  his  address  to  the  jury,  that  he  began  to  bring  about  a 
change  in  the  feelings  of  most  around  him  ;  even  the  eye 
of  scornful  beauty  began  to  direct  fewer  glances  of  indig- 
nation and  disgust  upon  Titmouse,  as  Mr.  Subtle's  irre- 
sistible rhetoric  drew  upon  their  sympathies  in  that  young 
gentleman's  behalf.  "My  learned  friend,  the  Attorney- 
General,  gentlemen,  dropped  one  or  two  expressions  of  a 
somewhat  disparaging  tendency,"  said  Mr.  Subtle,  "  in  al- 
luding to  my  client,  Mr.  Titmouse  ;  and  shadowed  forth 
a  disadvantageous  contrast  between  the  obscure  and  igno- 
rant plaintiff,  and  the  gifted  defendant.  Good  heavens, 
gentlemen  !  and  is  my  humble  client's  misfortune  to  be- 
come his  fault1?  If  he  be  obscure  and  ignorant,  unac- 
quainted with  the  usages  of  society,  deprived  of  the 
blessings  of  a  superior  education  —  if  he  have  contracted 
vulgarity,  whose  fault  is  it?  —  Who  has  occasioned  it! 
Who  plunged  him  and  his  parents  before  him  into  an  un- 
just poverty  and  obscurity,  from  which  Providence  is 
about  this  day  to  rescue  him,  and  put  him  in  possession 
of  his  own  ?  Gentlemen,  if  topics  like  these  must  be  in- 
troduced into  this  case,  I  ask  you  who  is  accountable  for 
the  present  condition  of  my  unfortunate  client  1  Is  he, 
or  are  those  who  have  been,  perhaps  unconsciously,  but 
still  unjustly,  so  long  revelling  in  the  wealth  which  is  his? 
Gentlemen,  in  the  name  of  everything  that  is  manly  and 
generous,  I  challenge  your  sympathy,  your  commiseration, 
for  my  client."  Here  Titmouse,  who  had  been  staring 
open-mouthed  for  some  time  at  his  eloquent  advocate,  and 
could  be  kept  quiet  no  longer  by  the  most  vehement  ef- 


TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR.  503 

forts  of  Messrs.  Quirk,  Gammon,  and  Snap,  rose  up  in  an 
excited  manner,  exclaiming,  "  Bravo  !  bravo,  bravo,  sir  ! 
Ton  my  life,  capital !  It 's  quite  true  —  bravo  !  bravo  !  " 
His  astounded  advocate  paused  at  this  unprecedented 
interruption.  "  Take  the  puppy  out  of  court,  sir,  or  I 
will  not  utter  one  word  more,"  said  he,  in  a  fierce  whisper 
to  Mr.  Gammon. 

"  Who  is  that  1  Leave  the  court,  sir  !  Your  conduct 
is  most  indecent,  sir !  I  have  a  great  mind  to  commit 
you,  sir !  "  said  Lord  Widdrington,  directing  an  awful 
look  down  to  the  offender,  who  had  turned  of  a  ghastly 
whiteness. 

"  Have  mercy  upon  me,  my  Lord  !  I  '11  never  do  it 
again,"  he  groaned,  clasping  his  hands,  and  verily  be- 
lieving that  Lord  Widdrington  was  going  to  take  the 
estate  away  from  him. 

Snap  at  length  succeeded  in  getting  him  out  of  court, 
and  after  the  excitement  occasioned  by  this  irregular 
interruption  had  subsided,  Mr.  Subtle  resumed  :  — 

"  Gentlemen,"  said  he,  in  a  low  tone,  "  I  perceive  that 
you  are  moved  by  this  little  incident ;  and  it  is  character- 
istic of  your  superior  feelings.  Inferior  persons,  destitute 
of  sensibility  or  refinement,  might  have  smiled  at  eccen- 
tricities, which  occasion  gentlemen  like  yourselves  only 
feelings  of  greater  commiseration.  I  protest,  gentlemen  " 
his  voice  trembled  for  a  moment,  but  he  soon  re- 
sumed his  self-possession  ;  and,  after  a  long  and  admirable 
address,  sat  down,  confident  of  the  verdict. 

"  If  we  lose  the  verdict,  sir,"  said  he,  bending  down  and 
whispering  into  the  ear  of  Gammon,  "  we  may  thank  that 
execrable  little  puppy  for  it."  Gammon  changed  color, 
but  made  no  reply. 

Lord  Widdrington  then  commenced  summing  up  the 
case  to  the  jury  with  his  usual  care  and  perspicacity. 
Nothing  could    be    more   beautiful    than   the   ease   with 


504  TEN   THOUSAND   A-YEAR. 

which  he  extricated  the  facts  of  the  case  from  the 
meshes  in  which  they  had  been  alternately  involved  by 
Mr.  Subtle  and  the  Attorney-General.  As  soon  as  he 
had  explained  to  them  the  general  principles  of  law  ap- 
plicable to  the  case,  he  placed  before  them  the  facts 
proved  by  the  plaintiff,  and  then  the  answer  of  the  de- 
fendant :  every  one  in  court  trembling  for  the  result,  if 
the  jury  should  take  the  same  view  which  he  felt  com- 
pelled himself  to  take.  The  judge  suggested  that  they 
should  retire  to  consider  the  case,  taking  with  them  the 
pedigrees  which  had  been  handed  in  to  them  ;  and  added 
that,  if  they  should  require  his  assistance,  he  should  re- 
main in  his  private  room  for  an  hour  or  two.  Both 
judge  and  jury  then  retired,  it  being  about  eight  o'clock. 
Candles  were  lit  in  the  court,  which  continued  crowded  to 
suffocation.  Few  doubted  which  way  the  verdict  would 
go.  Fatigued  as  must  have  been  most  of  the  specta- 
tors with  a  two  days'  confinement  and  excitement,  —  la- 
dies as  well  as  gentlemen,  —  scarce  a  person  thought  of 
quitting  before  the  verdict  had  been  pronounced.  After 
an  hour  and  a  half's  absence,  a  cry  was  heard  from  the 
bailiff  in  whose  charge  the  jury  had  retired  —  "Clear 
the  way  for  the  jury ; "  and  one  or  two  officers,  with 
their  wands,  obeyed  the  directions.  As  the  jury  were 
re-entering  their  box,  struggling  with  a  little  difficulty 
through  the  crowd,  Lord  Widdrington  resumed  his  seat 
upon  the  bench. 

"  Gentlemen  of  the  jury,  have  the  goodness,"  said  the 
associate,   "to   answer  to  your  names.  —  Sir  Godolphin 

Fitzherbert " and,  while  their  names  were  thus  called 

over,  all  the  counsel  took  their  pens,  and,  turning  over 
their  briefs  with  an  air  of  anxiety,  prepared  to  indorse  on 
them  the  verdict.  As  soon  as  all  the  jurymen  had  an- 
swered, a  profound  silence  ensued. 

"Gentlemen  of  the  jury,"  inquired  the  associate,  "are 


TEX    THOUSAND   A.-YEAB.  505 

you   agreed  upon  your  verdict]      Do  you   find  for   the 
plaintiff,  or  for  the  defendant?" 

"  For  the  plaintiff,"  replied  the  foreman  ;  on  which 
the  officer,  amid  a  kind  of  blank  dismayed  silence,  making 
at  the  same  time  some  hieroglyphics  upon  the  record, 
muttered  —  "Verdict  for  the  Plaintiff. — Damages,  one 
shilling.  Costs,  forty  ' shillings ;"  while  another  func- 
tionary bawled  out,  amid  the  increasing  buzz  in  the 
court,  "Have  the  goodness  to  wait,  gentlemen  of  the 
jury.  You  will  be  paid  immediately."  Whereupon,  to 
the  disgust  and  indignation  of  the  unlearned  spectators, 
and  the  astonishment  of  some  of  the  gentlemen  of  the 
jury  themselves  —  many  of  them  the  very  first  men  of 
the  county  —  Snap  jumped  up  on  the  form,  pulled  out 
his  purse  with  an  air  of  wild  exultation,  and  proceeded  to 
remunerate  Sir  Godolphin  Fitzherbert  and  his  companions 
with  the  sum  of  two  guineas  each.  Proclamation  was  then 
made,  and  the  court  adjourned  till  the  next  morning. 


NOTES. 


Note  1.     Page  11. 

Thomas  De  Quincey — a  man  whose  genius  and  diversified  and 
profound  acquirements  constitute  him  one  of  the  most  remarkable 
men  of  the  age  ;  and  the  book  quoted  in  the  text  is  worthy  of 
him. 

Note  2.     Page  20. 

The  legislature  hath  since  shown  man)'-  indications  of  agreement 
with  the  opinion  of  my  unhappy  swell :  having  lately  abolished 
arrest  on  mesne  process  altogether,  as  affording  creditors  too  serious 
a  chance  of  preventing  the  escape  of  a  fraudulent  debtor  ;  and 
having  still  more  recently  made  a  step  towards  the  abolition  of 
arrest  on  final  process  !     [1844.] 

Note  3.     Page  60. 
"  ToO  nai  dirb  y\u)oar]s  /xeXiros  yXvKiuu  peev  avdrj."  —  I\.  a. 

Note  4.      Page  107. 
Blackstone's  Commentaries,  vol.  iv.  pp.  134-5. 

Note  5.      Page  108. 

Blackstone,  vol.  iii.  p.  400,  where  it  is  stated,  however,  that 
"that  practice  is  now  disused." 

Note  6.     Page  110. 
Blackstone  s  Commentaries,  vol.  iv.  p.  135. 

Note  7.     Page  113. 

By  a  very  recent  statute  (6  and  7  Vict.  c.  73,  §§  37,  43)  —  passed 
in  1843  —  salutarv  alterations  have  been  made  in  the  law  regulating 


508  NOTES. 

the  taxation  of  the  bills  of  attorneys  and  solicitors.  Except  "under 
special  circumstances,"  a  client  cannot  now  have  his  attorney's  or 
solicitor's  bill  taxed,  after  the  lapse  of  twelve  months  since  it  was 
delivered.  If  as  much  as  one-sixth  of  the  bill  be  struck  off,  the 
attorney  or  solicitor  must  pay  the  costs  of  the  operation  ;  if  less 
than  one-sixth,  the  client  will  have  that  satisfaction. 

Note  8.     Page  122. 
This  was  written  about  the  year  1838-9. 

Note  9.     Page  124. 

This  mode  of  treating  the  remains  of  a  felo  de  se  was  (on  the  8th 
July  1823)  abolished  by  Act  of  Parliament  (stat.  4  Geo.  IV).  The 
remains  of  afelo  de  se  are  ordered  by  that  act  to  be  buried  privately 
in  the  churchyard,  but  without  the  performance  of  any  rites  of 
Christian  burial.  The  Prayer-book  also  prohibits  the  "office  for 
the  burial  of  the  dead  from  being  used  for  any  that  have  laid  vio- 
lent hands  upon  themselves." 

Note  10.     Page  160. 

I  suppose  myself  to  be  alluding  here  to  a  very  oppressive  statute, 
passed  to  clip  the  wings  of  such  gentlemen  as  Mr.  Snap,  by  which 
it  is  enacted  that,  in  actions  for  slander,  if  the  jury  find  a  verdict 
under  forty  shillings,  e.  g.  as  in  the  case  in  the  text,  for  one  far- 
thing, the  plaintiff  shall  be  entitled  to  recover  from  the  defendant 
only  as  much  costs  as  damages,  i.  e.  another  farthing  ;  a  provision 
which  has  made  many  a  poor  pettifogger  sneak  out  of  court  with  a 
flea  in  his  ear.  Since  this  was  written,  a  still  more  stringent  stat- 
ute hath  been  made,  which,  't  is  to  be  hoped,  will  put  down  the 
nuisance. 

Note  11.     Page  196. 

"Can  the  author  of  Ten  Thousand  a -Year,"  asked  some  anony- 
mous person  during  its  original  appearance —  "point  out  any  class 
of  Dissenters  who  allow  their  members  to  frequent  theatres  ? "  The 
author  believes  that  this  is  the  case  with  Unitarians  —  and  also 
with  many  of  the  members  of  other  Dissenting  congregations  — 
especially  the  younger  members  of  even  the  stanchest  Dissenting 
families. 


NOTES.  509 


Note  12.     Page  212. 

This  fearful-looking  word,  I  wish  to  inform  my  lady-readers,  is 
an  original  and  monstrous  amalgamation  of  three  or  four  Greek 
words  —  Kvavo-xaiT-avdpuiro-iroiuv  —  denoting  a  fluid  "which  can 
raider  the  human  hair  black."  Whenever  a  barber  or  perfumer 
determines  on  trying  to  puff  off  some  villanous  imposition  of  this 
sort,  strange  to  say,  he  goes  to  some  starving  scholar,  and  gives  him 
half-a-crown  to  coin  a  word  like  the  above  ;  one  which  shall  be 
equally  unintelligible  and  unpronounceable,  and  therefore  attractive 
and  popular. 

Note  13.     Page  243. 

"Vitas  hinnuleo  me  similis,  Chloe, 

Quaerenti  pavidam 

Mat  rem. 

et  corde  et  genibus  tremit."  —  Hor.  i.  23. 

Note  14.     Page  264. 
See  ante,  p.  138. 

Note  15.     Page  307. 

So  much  curiosity  has  been  excited  among  lay  readers  in  this 
country  and  in  America,  and  also  among  professional  persons  in 
France  and  Germany,  as  to  the  real  nature  of  the  species  of  action 
mentioned  in  the  text,  that  the  author  is  induced  here  to  give  some 
further  account  of  a  matter  which  enters  so  considerably  into  the 
construction  of  this  story.  The  action  of  Ejectment  is  described 
with  minute  accuracy  in  the  text ;  has  been  in  existence  for  at  least 
rive  hundred  years,  [i.  e.  since  the  close  of  Edward  II.,  or  beginning 
of  Edward  III.,  A.  D.  1327  ;)  and  its  venerable  but  tortuous  fiction 
has  been  scarcely  even  touched  by  the  "amending  hand,"  which 
lately  (1834)  cut  away  so  many  cumbrous,  complicated,  and  quasi 
obsolete  portions  of  the  law  of  action,  (see  Stat.  3  and  4  Will.  4, 
c.  27,  §  36.)  The  progress  of  this  action  is  calculated  to  throw 
much  light  on  some  of  our  early  history  and  jurisprudence.  See  an 
interesting  sketch  of  it  in  the  first  chapter  of  Mr.  Sergeant  Adams' 
Treatise  on  Ejectment.  It  was  resorted  to  for  the  purpose  of  es- 
caping from  the  other  dilatory,  intricate,  and  expensive  modes  of 
recovering  landed  property  anciently  in  existence.  The  following 
is  the  description  given  of  it  by  Lord  Mansfield  —  and  is  equally 


510  NOTES. 

terse  and  correct,  and  applicable  to  the  present  mode  of  procedure. 
"An  Ejectment  is  an  ingenious  fiction  for  the  Trial  of  Titles  to 
the  possession  of  Land.  In  form  it  is  a  trick  between  two,  to  dis- 
possess a  third  by  a  sham  suit  and  judgment.  The  artifice  would 
be  criminal,  unless  the  Court  converted  it  into  a  fair  trial  with  the 
proper  party.  The  control  the  Court  have  over  the  judgment 
against  the  Casual  Ejector,  enables  them  to  put  any  terms  upon 
the  plaintiff  which  are  just.  He  was  soon  ordered  to  give  notice 
to  the  tenant  in  possession.  When  the  tenant  in  possession  asked 
to  be  admitted  defendant,  the  Court  was  enabled  to  add  Con- 
ditions ;  and  therefore  obliged  him  to  alloiv  the  fiction,  and  go  to 
Trial  on  the  real  merits."  —  {Fair  Claim  v.  Sham  Title,1  3  Burr. 
1294.)  This  action  is  now,  in  effect,  the  only  direct  common-law 
remedy  for  the  recovery  of  land  in  England  and  Ireland  ;  in  many 
of  the  United  States  of  America  the  action  of  Ejectment  is  retained 
—  "with  its  harmless,  and  —  as  matter  of  history — curious  and 
amusing  English  fictions."  — (4  Kent's  Comment,  p.  70,  note  e  :)  but 
in  New  York,  the  action  of  Ejectment  is  "stripped  of  all  its  fic- 
titious parts."  — {Id.  ib.) 

Note  16.     Page  309. 
BlacJcstone's  Commentaries,  vol.  iii.     App.  pp.  ix.  x. 

Note  17.     Page  310. 

"A  warranty  will  not  extend  to  guard  against  defects  which  are 
plainly  and  obviously  the  object  of  one's  senses  :  as  if  a  horse  be 
warranted  perfect,  and  wants  either  a  tail,  or  an  ear :  unless  the 
buyer  in  this  case  be  blind."  —  3  Blackst.  Comm.   166. 

Note  18.     Page  310. 

On  the  22d  August,  1843,  (since  the  publication  of  this  work,)  a 
brief  but  most  important  statute  (6  and  7  Vict.  c.  85)  was  enacted, 
"  for  improving  the  Law  of  Evidence  "  — the  chief  object  of  which 
was,  to  remove  all  such  difficulties  as  that  which  formed  the  subject 
of  Mr.  Parkinson's  inquiries.  Witnesses  are  now  no  longer  "in- 
competent "  to  give  evidence  by  reason  of  crime  or  of  any  interest 
which  they  may  have  in,  or  in  respect  of,  the  subject-matter  of  the 
action. 

1  These  fantastical  names  are  now  almost  invariably  abandoned  for  those 
of  "  John  Doe  "  and  "  Richard  Roe." 


NOTES.  511 


Note  19.     Page  346. 

Whether  Mr.  Aubrey  was  justified  in  doing  this,  under  his  cir- 
cumstances, is  a  question  which  the  author  has  seen,  and  heard, 
several  times  keenly  discussed.  It  is  surprising  how  much  may  be 
said  on  both  sides  of  the  question,  by  ingenious  casuists. 

Note  20.     Page  405. 

For  this  glorious  and  inestimable  safeguard  of  the  liberty  of  the 
subject,  we  are  indebted  to  the  ancient  common  law  of  England, 
strengthened  from  time  to  time  by  the  legislature,  and  now  made 
secure  against  the  insidious  encroachments  of  tyranny.  The  chief 
statute  passed  with  this  view  is  known  as  The  Habeas  Corpus  Act 
(31  Car.  II.  c.  2),  and  "has  been  incorporated  into  the  jurispru- 
dence of  every  state  in  the  Union  "  in  America.  —  Story,  Commen- 
taries on  the  Constitution  of  the  U.  S.,  vol.  iii.  p.  208. 

"  It  is  a  very  common  mistake,"  says  Mr.  Hallam,  and  the  Lord 
Chief-Justice  of  the  Queen's  Bench  had  occasion,  during  Michaelmas 
Term  1S44,  publicly  to  make  a  similar  observation,  "  not  only  among 
foreigners,  but  many  from  whom  some  knowledge  of  our  constitu- 
tional laws  might  be  expected,  that  the  statute  of  Charles  II.  en- 
larged in  a  great  degree  our  liberties,  and  forms  a  sort  of  epoch  in 
their  history  ;  but  though  a  very  beneficial  enactment,  it  introduced 
no  new  principle,  nor  conferred  any  right  upon  the  subject.  .  .  . 
It  was  not  to  bestow  an  immunity  from  arbitrary  imprisonment, 
which  is  abundantly  provided  in  Magna  Charta  (if,  indeed,  not 
much  more  ancient,)  that  the  statute  of  Charles  II.  was  enacted; 
but  to  cut  off  the  abuses  by  which  the  government's  lust  of  power, 
and  the  servile  subtlety  of  crown  lawyers,  had  impaired  so  funda- 
mental a  privilege." —  3  Hall.  Const.  Hist.,  pp.  16,  17. 


Note  21.     Page  421. 

The  general  character  of  the  Newspaper  Press,  both  in  London 
and  the  country,  has  so  greatly  improved  of  late  years,  as  (with  a 
very  few  despicable  exceptions)  to  render  the  appearance  now-a- 
days,  of  such  a  paragraph  as  that  in  the  text,  exceedingly  rare. 
The  Press  is  now,  in  most  instances,  presided  over  by  educated  and 
gifted  gentlemen.  It  was  far  otherwise  in  18 —  (the  period  named 
in  the  text. ) 


512  NOTES. 

Note  22.     Page  433. 

Before  perusing  this  opinion,  the  reader  should  refer  to  the  pedi- 
gree, post  441  ;  without  which  the  opinion  will  not  be  fully  under- 
stood. * 

Note  23.     Page  435. 
See  the  note  on  page  437. 

Note  24.     Page  437. 

Till  within  a  few  years  before  the  period  in  question,  the  law  of 
England  regarded  the  act  done  by  Mr,.  Steggars  as  amounting  only 
to  a  breach  of  trust,  and  consequently  subjecting  him  to  no  criminal 
liability  ;  on  the  ground  that  the  L.  700  never  having  been  actually 
in  his  master  s  possession,  could  not  be  the  subject  of  a  felonious 
talcing.  The  alarming  consequences  of  this  doctrine  led  to  the 
passing  of  stat.  39  Geo.  III.  c.  85,  [passed  on  the  12th  July  1799,] 
which  declared  such  an  act  of  embezzlement  to  be  felony,  punish- 
able with  fourteen  years'  transportation  :  this  was  lately  repealed, 
but  re-enacted  by  stat.  7  and  8,  Geo.  IV.  c.  29,  §  47,  [passed  on  the 
21st  June,  1827,]  on  the  occasion  of  consolidating  that  branch  of 
the  criminal  law.  —  See  4  Coleridge's  Blackst.  Comment,  p.  231 
(note). 

Note  25.     Page  442. 

The  popular  maxim  that  "possession  is  nine-tenths  of  the  law,'' 
is  founded  on  the  salutary  and  reasonable  doctrine  of  the  law,  that 
the  party  in  possession  of  property  is  presumed  to  be  the  owner  until 
the  contrary  shall  have  been  proved.  Consider  how  intolerable, 
and,  in  fact,  destructive  of  civil  society  would  be  an  opposite  rule 
—  if  every  one  in  the  enjoyment  of  property  were  liable  to  be  called 
upon  to  explain  to  any  one  challenging  his  right,  how  that  right 
had  been  acquired  !  By  the  operation  of  the  rule  laid  down  in  the 
text,  a  defendant  in  ejectment  may  (except  in  the  case  of  landlord 
and  tenant)  always  defeat  the  action,  simply  by  showing  the  real 
title  to  be  in  some  third  party  —  without  showing  that  the  defend- 
ant holds  possession  with  the  consent,  or  under  the  authority  of 
the  real  owner.  —  {Roe  v.  Harvey,  4  Burr.  2484  ;  Doe  v.  Barber,  2 
T.  R.  749.)  The  defendant's  evidence  is  thus  altogether  confined 
to  falsifying  his  adversary's  proofs,  or  rebutting  the  presumptions 
which  arise  out  of  them.  —  Adams  on  Ejectment,  p.  319.  —  (3d  Ed. ) 


NOTES.  513 

Note  26.     Page  443. 
See  the  note  to  Vol.  II.,  Chapter  V. 

Note  27.  Page  443. 
Lynx  is  here  glancing  at  a  rule  of  the  Roman  law  on  a  point  of 
great  difficulty,  interest,  and  importance  —  i.  c.  where  two  persons 
above  the  age.  of  puberty  perished  by  the  same  accident,  the  younger 
was  presumed  to  have  been  the  survivor  ;  but  if  one  was  under  the 
age  of  puberty,  the  other  was  presumed  to  have  been  the  survivor. 

—  (Dig.  lib.  34,  tit.  5,  §§  9,  22,  23. )  It  is  very  curious  to  see  how 
this  question  is  dealt  with  in  modern  times.  The  Code  Civile  (in 
France)  adjusts  the  presumption  to  specific  periods  of  life.  If  those 
who  perished  were  all  under  15  years  of  age,  the  eldest  is  presumed 
to  have  survived  ;  if  all  above  60  years,  the  youngest.  If  some 
under  15,  and  others  above  60,  the  former  shall  be  presumed  to 
have  survived.  If  all  were  between  15  and  60  years  of  age,  the 
male,  (when  the  ages  are  equal,  or  within  a  year  of  being  so)  shall 
be  presumed  the  survivor.  If  of  the  same  sex,  that  presumption 
shall  be  admitted  which  opens  the  succession  in  the  order  of  nature 

—  of  course  the  younger  being  presumed  to  have  survived  the  elder. 

—  (Code  Civ.  §§  720-722.)  It  has  been  objected,  that,  though 
these  rules  are  generally  equitable,  they  are  imperfect  :  for  a  man 
above  sixty  ought  surely  to  be  held  to  have  survived  a  mere  infant ; 
and  no  provision  is  made  for  the  case  of  persons  under  15,  and  under 
60  years  of  age  perishing  together.  By  the  Mohammedan  law  of 
India,  "  when  relations  perish  together,  it  is  to  be  presumed  that 
they  all  died  at  the  same  moment,  and  the  heir  of  each  immediately 
succeeds."  The  difficulty  of  the  case  arises,  of  course,  from  the 
circumstance  of  there  being  no  evidence  whatever  as  to  the  actual 
fact  of  survivorship.  Our  English  law  has  not  adopted  any  definite 
rule  on  the  subject,  but  leans  in  favor  of  the  survivorship  of  the 
party  possessed  of  the  property  in  dispute  ;  and  some  regard  seems 
to  be  had  to  the  probability  of  the  survivorship  of  the  stronger 
party.  Several  very  interesting  cases  of  this  kind  have  arisen  in 
this  country  ;  and,  generally  speaking,  our  courts  appear  to  have 
required  some  evidence  of  the  fact.  A  singular  case  occurred  in 
Queen  Elizabeth's  time,  (1596.)  Father  and  son  were  hanged  at 
the  same  time,  in  one  cart ;  being  joint  tenants  of  property,  which, 
on  their  death,  was  to  go  to  the*  son's  heirs.  According  to  one 
report  ''Nov)  the  father's  feet  were  seen  moving  after  the  son's 

vol.  i.  — 33 


514  NOTES. 

death  ;  but  other  witnesses  swore  to  the  son's  "shaking  his  legs  " 
after  his  father's  death.  This  the  jury  believed  ;  found  that  the 
son  survived  ;  and  his  widow  was  therefore  held  entitled  to  her 
dower  !  —  (Broughton  v.  Randall,  Cro.  EL,  p.  502.) 


Note  28.     Page  443. 
Chapter  X.,  ante,  p.  411. 


Note  29.     Page  470. 

See  the  note  prefixed  to  Chapter  V.  Vol.  II.,  for  a  full  explana- 
tion of  the  above,  and  another  important  legal  topic  introduced  into 
this  work. 

Note  30.      Page  477. 

Not  many  years  ago,  the  fate  of  an  important  case  turned  upon 
the  existence  of  a  tombstone  :  and  a  forged  one  was  produced  in 
court  !  —  The  validity  of  a  great  Peerage  case  is  at  this  moment 
depending  upon  the  genuineness  of  one  of  these  dumb  and  gloomy 
witnesses.     [1844.] 

Note  31.     Page  485. 

"When  the  Judges  of  Assize  preside  in  the  Crown  side  (i.  e.  in 
the  Criminal  Court, )  they  wear  their  scarlet  and  ermine  robes,  and 
full-bottomed  wigs. 

Note  32.      Page  486. 

This  is  a  step  often  taken  in  trials  of  importance,  when  the 
counsel  for  either  party  apprehends  danger  to  his  client,  from  his 
opponent's  witnesses  remaining  in  court  and  hearing  all  the  evi- 
dence which  they  are  afterwards  called  to  contradict.  Either 
counsel  has  a  right  thus  to  exclude  witnesses.  The  Court  usually, 
in  such  cases,  orders  all  the  witnesses  to  withdraw. 

Note  33.     Page  499. 
See,  for  a  discussion  of  this  point,  the  preliminary  note  to  Vol. 
II.  ch.  v. 


END   OF   VOL.    I. 


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